Jump to content

DH stuffed up at work


  • Please log in to reply
57 replies to this topic

#1 harper_

Posted 26 February 2013 - 11:19 AM

My Dh & I work for the same company - a large Oil & gas company. On friday they had a social event, basically drink & nibbles with a presentation from staff that had just returned from a conference in the US. The main speaker was a young woman and was humourous and entertaining, there was a bit of banter & a few jokes going on. So it was quite light-hearted. She came across as quite confident and engaging, but spoke very quickly and was sometimes hard to understand and as she was taking questions, my DH stuck his hand up and asked if she picked up a crack habit in the US (because of her fast talking) everyone laughed, but it was obvious that she didn't find it very funny and left straight after the presentation finished. My DH was mortified that he had obviously upset her and sought out the organiser of the social event to apologise. DH apologied profusely and asked her to pass on his apologies, but she wasn't very impressed. Anyway we left. The next day DH talked about and mentioned how bad he felt etc and acknowledged it was a stupid, thoughtless joke etc But anyway he gets to work on Monday and apparently senior members of staff including the woman he apologised to, were looking for him after the presentation and asking other members of staff what his name was and what department he worked for etc so it sounds like there is going to be some fallout from this. Just curious to what people think potentially could happen. Is this a sackable offence?

#2 SaintJoe

Posted 26 February 2013 - 11:27 AM

Awkward for all.

It was inappropriate and hurtful. It is a good thing he apologised afterwards. That might help his case somewhat.

Work would have probably paid alot for this speaker and his comments made the company look unprofessional. I would imagine he will get a slap on the wrist and made to officially apologise.

Good luck




#3 harper_

Posted 26 February 2013 - 11:28 AM

QUOTE (**myboys** @ 26/02/2013, 12:27 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Awkward for all.

It was inappropriate and hurtful. It is a good thing he apologised afterwards. That might help his case somewhat.

Work would have probably paid alot for this speaker and his comments made the company look unprofessional. I would imagine he will get a slap on the wrist and made to officially apologise.

Good luck


No the speaker was a member of staff. He didn't know them though.

#4 Soontobegran

Posted 26 February 2013 - 11:28 AM

Very awkward and sounds like the stuff that happens after a few drinks have loosened the lips sad.gif
It is a terribly inappropriate thing to say and I understand why the speaker would be offended and wanting follow up.

I am not in the business world but surely there would have to be some type of warning system before being sacked but if I was your DH I would go in with his tail between his legs and ask what he can do to make it better.
I have a good and sometimes slightly sick sense of humour but I think I'd be wanting a very public apology for this.

Hopefully all will be well.

#5 Goggie

Posted 26 February 2013 - 11:29 AM

Stupid comment he made. But unlikely to be a termination type offence, unless he has a history or other warnings for inappropriate behaviour.
He will likely get a 'you should have known better' talk, a discussion on appropriate company behavior and values and potentially if they are wanting to set an example, a verbal or written warning. If this was in my company I would recommend a firm discussion about appropriateness of 'jokes'.

I'm sure he will be ok, I wouldn't stress too much about it. He should be apologetic to all involved though.

#6 tibs

Posted 26 February 2013 - 11:31 AM

At my work there *may* be discipinary action for that depending on the personalities of the directors involved.  But that would just involve some kind of counselling session on appropriate behaviour/harrassment etc not sacking original.gif

#7 PrincessPeach

Posted 26 February 2013 - 11:34 AM

I don't think it would be a termination offence, although he may be issued with a warning.

However given he did actually apologise to the event organiser that should be taken into consideration.

I do however understand where his comment came from, presenters that speak fast & are hard to understand are not ideal.

#8 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 26 February 2013 - 11:35 AM

I can't imagine he'd be sacked.  But I would imagine that he might be called in for a few choice words, given a warning about conducting himself appropriately & possibly some further training in suitable workplace behavior (even if it was at a social function, it was a WORK social function)

#9 Mpjp is feral

Posted 26 February 2013 - 11:36 AM

It's good that your DH realised he stuffed up.

I'm in HR and often feel sorry for people in this situation - its like some people 'forget' that they are at work when there are drinkies and banter and they start to think they're amongst friends - and so behave accordingly. It doesnt matter how casual a workplace is I've seen people get into trouble timee and time again with this.


My advice to your DH would be to march straight into the office of the most appropriate senior person (his boss, her boss, even HR if he's not sure) and explain the situation and ask if he could please offer a most sincere apology. Being on the front foot in these things ALWAYS ends much better than just sitting there waiting for their first move.

If he is going to face disciplinary aciton then I woulddnt imagine it would be anything more than a warning if it is exactly as you describe (and one of the important bits here is a) were the drinks supplied by work and b) was he drunk?).

#10 Flaxen

Posted 26 February 2013 - 11:38 AM

I believe a warning might be put forward to him, but im confident its not a sackable offence.
Read through his employment contract, the company's Code of Conduct with the applicable consequences will be outlined there.

Usually several warnings must be laid first prior, unless the situation is much more serious, such as theft, which still requires a police report to fire them.

#11 harper_

Posted 26 February 2013 - 11:39 AM

QUOTE (meplainjanebrain @ 26/02/2013, 12:36 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
(and one of the important bits here is a) were the drinks supplied by work and b) was he drunk?).


Alcoholic drinks were not provided, you had to buy these. And he wasn't drunk, but merry.

#12 dolcengabbana

Posted 26 February 2013 - 11:44 AM

I think it would be unlikely to have employment terminated on this alone. However, it would depend if there had been any previous warnings or incidents in his work history with the company.

I would write a letter of appology to the person involved and it be sincere and professional and give it in person if possible if they are willing to see him. I would be prepared for a warning regardless.

#13 Fluster

Posted 26 February 2013 - 11:50 AM

I work in events and easily offended speakers are the bane of my life  ph34r.gif

#14 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 26 February 2013 - 11:54 AM

Its a pretty mean thing to say at someone who is just trying to do her job. I don't think he'd get fired from it though.


#15 protart roflcoptor

Posted 26 February 2013 - 12:11 PM

QUOTE (harper_ @ 26/02/2013, 11:39 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Alcoholic drinks were not provided, you had to buy these. And he wasn't drunk, but merry.


What's the difference between drunk and merry. Alcohol obviously impaired his judgement. Which, as he realised this and has apologised, could perhaps go to excusing this as not usual behaviour.


QUOTE (Fluster @ 26/02/2013, 11:50 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I work in events and easily offended speakers are the bane of my life  ph34r.gif


I do not blame the speaker for being offended. The remark was in very poor taste and offensive. Why should she have to put up with being addressed like that in front of everyone?



#16 Bluenomi

Posted 26 February 2013 - 12:23 PM

It will depend on how much of a big deal the woman makes and how much the company make a big deal about bullying and harrasment. He might get a slap on the wrist, he might get a formal warning or he may get fired.

#17 snortle

Posted 26 February 2013 - 01:22 PM

QUOTE (harper_ @ 26/02/2013, 12:39 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Alcoholic drinks were not provided, you had to buy these. And he wasn't drunk, but merry.


I actually think that makes it worse  ph34r.gif
At least if he was drunk there would be a reason to be nasty to someone he doesn't even know.

#18 Mpjp is feral

Posted 26 February 2013 - 01:39 PM

QUOTE (snortle @ 26/02/2013, 02:22 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I actually think that makes it worse  ph34r.gif
At least if he was drunk there would be a reason to be nasty to someone he doesn't even know.



The drunkedness thing will be a positive or a negative.  In the company I work for we have clear codes of conduct, alcohol policies and a disciplinary policy which states that this would be a disciplinary matter.

I'd be surprised if it lead to his terminatiion though. I've been involved in one summary dismissal (instant) involving alcohol but it was arguably far more serious than what happened here.

Again I'd make the first move and ask if I (your dh) could write an apology letter. I'd also outline any other steps I was going to take to rectify the situation - i.e. not consume alcohol at work functions, attend EAP Counselling etc.

#19 SaintJoe

Posted 26 February 2013 - 01:43 PM


QUOTE (Fluster @ 26/02/2013, 12:50 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I work in events and easily offended speakers are the bane of my life  ph34r.gif


But she wasn't an official speaker. She was a colleague who was presenting a work trip to the USA.


#20 epl0822

Posted 26 February 2013 - 01:52 PM

That poor woman, to be embarrassed like that when she was on stage in front of all of her colleagues. He wouldn't get fired for this but a lot of the senior managers are going to remember his name and he'll be known as the guy with the foot in his mouth. That's probably worse than any kind of formal warning he might receive.

#21 opethmum

Posted 26 February 2013 - 01:53 PM

It would not hurt your DH if he had a member of his professional union present as an independent witness just in case things get a little heavy in the interview and to provide some advice if needed. Yes it may be over the top but having an independent witness there to verify anything that was said in case the speaker does not feel that action was appropriate.
You do not have to be a member to receive advice.

Good luck and I hope that your DH apology is heard and that he can move on from this regrettable incident.


#22 kitkatswing

Posted 26 February 2013 - 02:07 PM

I dont think its a sackable offense.But I agree with the others, its definitly a warning type of offense.

What he said was wrong, but it was good that he realised it and tried to apologise. Unfortunatly it may have been too little too late..

#23 Reshad

Posted 26 February 2013 - 02:07 PM

I thought it was funny .... everyone is so PC these days. Maybe a short term CLM but hardly a DCM.

PC - politically correct
CLM - career limiting move
DCM - don't come monday.

#24 Fluster

Posted 26 February 2013 - 02:09 PM

QUOTE (protart roflcoptor @ 26/02/2013, 12:11 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I do not blame the speaker for being offended. The remark was in very poor taste and offensive. Why should she have to put up with being addressed like that in front of everyone?


It absolutely was offensive, but unless there is a pattern of behaviour from the OP's husband - or indeed the company as a whole - I can't see the cause for drama. The OP's husband said something incredibly stupid, but he apologised.  The reality of life is that lots of people speak first and think later.

#25 elmo_mum

Posted 26 February 2013 - 02:09 PM

i think that the comment made was stupid
with or without alcohol, it was a rude comment to make, especially in public and the fact that he did not know her

she has every reason to be offended.

i doubt he will be terminated over the comment.... although he no doubt with receive a written warning, and may also have to apologise to her







1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

How I learnt to relax about routines

After many routine-led, tough years, we've realised that being parenting isn't about being perfect. It isn't about following a schedule to a T.

Should you have a third child or not?

I thought our family had been complete with our two boys. I had no idea how much I needed my daughter until she was here.

Helping a toddler embrace an adopted sibling

A single parent by choice, I am preparing to adopt a second baby from Morocco. And I face a special challenge.

When pregnancy messes with your self-esteem

Pregnancy doesn't make all women feel beautiful. It certainly doesn't raise every woman's self-esteem.

Join us in The BIG nappy change

Introducing the new Coles Little Explorer Nappies! You can confidently rely on Coles Little Explorer nappies at each stage of your child's growth, so take the Big Nappy Change and try new Coles Little Explorer nappies for yourself!

Robbie Williams live tweets wife's labour

And the award for most patient woman in labour goes to ... Robbie Williams' wife, Ayda Field.

Vaccine ignorance is deadly and contagious

In the absence of credible, strong political leadership, paranoia about disease can go viral.

Parenting differently based on birth order

All children have unique personalities, but keeping birth order in mind could help when parenting.

How to get rid of the mum guilt

Motherhood and guilt seem to go hand in hand, but there are ways to focus

Paid parental leave scheme grinds to a halt

The future of Prime Minister Tony Abbott's paid parental leave scheme appears to be up in the air, despite the fact it is due to begin in less than nine months.

The devastation of foetal alcohol spectrum disorders

No one's sure how many Australians are affected by foetal alcohol spectrum disorders, but the consequences for those who are can be devastating.

The pros and cons of finding out the sex of your unborn baby

It’s often one of the biggest choices parents make during the course of their pregnancy; to find out, or not to find out, the sex of their baby before it’s born.

Toddler's awesome dress up month

Two-year-old Willow and her photographer mum, Gina Lee, made October "Dress Up Willow Month". She posted photos of Willow's costumes on her Instagram account, and her creative takes on popular culture are simply adorable.

Childhood around the world

It can be easy to assume our ideas around childhood are universal, but they are particular to where we live, as these practices show.

Best picks for baby and toddler shoes

Here's a great selection of footwear from pre-walker to walker ensuring comfort and style for growing feet.

I lost my wife and daughters to Ebola - then it came for my son

Sunday, September 21, is a day I will never forget.

The 'yucky' illness that took over my life

I have a chronic illness nobody likes to discuss. It involves toilet talk, and probably caused my miscarriage. But it needs to be talked about.

Prenatal testing: the facts

Prenatal testing is done to check if a baby has certain medical conditions before birth. Here is some important information about what the tests are for and the risks involved.

5 things to do with your baby?s old clothes

Did you think your only option for your baby?s old clothes was to pack them away or give them to the Salvos? Think again.

Why it's possible to not realise you're pregnant until the baby arrives

After hearing about 'surprise babies' born to mums who didn't know they were pregnant, it's common to ask "how did she not realise?" But experts say it's entirely possible for it to happen.

'My miracle is finally here'

How has the world continued on its pace when mine has been altered so drastically?

Dairy can help older women fall pregnant: study

Ice cream may be the ultimate comfort food, but a study suggests it could also help older women to have children.

Megan Gale goes topless for 'sexiest people' cover

Six months after a heavily pregnant Megan Gale posed nude for Marie Claire, the glowing new mum has gone topless for the cover of another magazine.

A new perspective on life from living with two diseases

A mother shares her personal story about the difficulty of living with two conditions, one of which stops her from being able to see her daughter's face.

Warning about Children's Panadol dosage

The Therapeutic Goods Administration has issued a safety advisory warning parents about confusion when using the dosing syringe supplied with Children's Panadol.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Take 'The Coles Big Nappy Change' Challenge

You could become part of our Test Drive team and win one of 200 packs of Coles Little Explorer Nappies as part of our 5-day challenge.

Win 1 of 5 Canon Powershot D30 cameras

Capture life more easily with the Canon Powershot D30. Shockproof, waterproof and dustproof, you can take it almost anywhere and shoot beautiful images, time after time. Enter now!

16 parenting truths you won't find in the baby books

I am five years into this parenting gig and I’ve learnt that sleepless nights and changing dirty nappies are child’s play.

Best and worst potty party cakes

It's nice to celebrate a child making the shift from nappies to 'big kid' undies, but do we really need a semi-realistic used toilet cake to do it? Here are some of the best and worst cakes parents have used at 'potty parties' around the world.

7 tips for a financially festive Christmas

Plan ahead - and do it now - to ensure festive season expenses don't break the bank.

'Go the F*** to Sleep' author's new book for frustrated parents

A sequel is coming soon to the 2011 hit book 'Go the F*** to Sleep' - and this time, it's about mealtimes.

Great birthday party buys from Etsy

Handmade crafts to decorate and personalise your child's next birthday - from banners to cake decorations, we've got gorgeous party finds from Etsy.

Join us in The BIG nappy change

Introducing the new Coles Little Explorer Nappies! You can confidently rely on Coles Little Explorer nappies at each stage of your child's growth, so take the Big Nappy Change and try new Coles Little Explorer nappies for yourself!

Creative storage ideas for the kids' rooms

Creative and practical storage ideas for the kids' toys and books can also add some stylish decor to your home. Visit babyology.com.au for more stylish modern finds for hip kids & parents.

Thief uses breast milk as weapon

Police are on the hunt for a thief who robbed a pharmacy using her lactation skills.

To the mum in the doctor's waiting room

Maybe the mum I saw in that waiting room, seemingly disconnected from her baby, doesn’t have the support she needs.

10 space-saving nursery ideas

Starting a family doesn't always mean moving into a bigger house - not yet, anyway.

 

What's in a name?

Baby Names

Looking for a classic name, or an unusual name? Our Baby Name Finder is for you, search or browse to refine your shortlist.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.