Jump to content

Forming friendships


  • Please log in to reply
10 replies to this topic

#1 nicknick

Posted 26 February 2013 - 10:27 AM

DS (3.4yrs) started Preschool this year and has been going for 4 weeks. He loves going, runs in the gates in the morning and very happy to send me on my way. This morning I was chatting to his teacher and one of the things we discussed was friendships, she commented that he is happy being part of the group but isn't forming direct relationships. To me I didn't even think at this early stage it would be commented on, but she mentioned it so is flagging it to me but I was interested to hear from others about how long it took to form friendships in Preschool. Also is there anything you did to help him/her develop the friendships?

#2 tibs

Posted 26 February 2013 - 10:48 AM

My 3 year old DD just started preschool and she is the same, I would say that is normal for this age.  Plus it has only been 4 weeks!  I remember when my son started preschool he was the same but certainly by the second half of the year he had his definite friends that he played with.

#3 nicknick

Posted 26 February 2013 - 10:53 AM

Thanks tibs, yes I was very taken aback this morning that she mentioned this - I really wouldn't think after a month he would be required to have a bunch of friends and that he was playing with the group was the important thing. We have a parent meeting next week so will certainly do a little more digging on expectations then..... Thank you again for letting me know about your DD.  original.gif

#4 DontKnow2015

Posted 26 February 2013 - 11:02 AM

Still fairly common to be doing side by side play rather than playing directly with other children...  I would not worry....

#5 boatiebabe

Posted 26 February 2013 - 11:10 AM

I would also be surprised by that comment from the child care worker.

I would think at 3 there would still be a lot of side by side play but not direct friendships after only 4 weeks in a new centre.

I don't think either of mine started forming close one on one friendships until at least 4 at day care.

Sometimes even at 'big school' it might take until Year 1 or 2 for them to find besties.

#6 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 26 February 2013 - 11:17 AM

At 3.5 yo, I think it would be common for new kids to take at least a few months (3-6 months) before they actively seek out someone to play along side or with.  Happy enough to play along side most kids at that age, but would imagine it might take a few months before they actively pick a friend to play with.

#7 josh2003

Posted 26 February 2013 - 11:32 AM

I've been worrying about the same thing, so it's a relief to hear it's quite common.

My son, who is 3.5, has been going to daycare 3 days per week since he was one. He is really shy, and I've been worrying lately about whether he is making any friends. He talks about a couple of kids being his friends, but when I watch him, he seems to just hover around them and play, rather than play directly with them.

Our oldest son had a best friend (a girl!) from the beginning all the way up until they started school, and they were inseparable, but our second just seems to be different.

He does have a "proper" friend (our neighbour's daughter), but she is 6, so I think he's been able to connect with her because she instigates it.

#8 nicknick

Posted 26 February 2013 - 11:48 AM

Thanks for the feedback, I must say I was surprised with how easy it is to take him - he is a routine man and thought the new environment this year would have really challenged him so have been quite surprised he adapted so qucikly as I said happily says goodbye to me everyday.

I thought at 3 it's still common to have side-by-side play, this morning as I was talking to the teacher (or felt like being told off by her - maybe just me thinking that) he happily put himself in the middle of a group of kids and played with the water. I understand if he wasn't interested at all being around them it might be a different case. I would also think every child is going to be different as you all mentio, some Im sure might make quick friends. To add to how bad I was feeling 1/2 way through the discussion DD decided to vomit all over me...

Josh it's really hard I know, you just want the best for them. I might also watch a little more next week after leaving him, I can put myself in the trees a little - maybe just need to add the camourflage paint to hide myself.  original.gif

Thanks again  original.gif

Edited by nicknick, 26 February 2013 - 11:50 AM.


#9 Bbtimes2

Posted 26 February 2013 - 07:50 PM

My DS1 is almost 9 and still doesn't have a best friend. He is really popular and gets invited to all the parties (even for children I have never heard of!) and always has someone inviting him over for a playdate.
DS2 is has just turned 5 and it wasn't until this year that he even had a friend. He is much more a one on one kind of kid.

I think some kids just like to drift between groups and are more than happy, while others prefer to have certain people they play with.
I wouldn't worry. Your son obviously loves preschool and is getting along with all the other kids so in my book he is doing great.

#10 nicknick

Posted 27 February 2013 - 09:33 AM

Thanks Bbtimes2, I do agree with your comments.

I don't know, dropped him off this morning and he was his happy self going - same as I watched him he was playing a chasing game with another boy (who was a little older and faster, he couldn't actually catch him  biggrin.gif ) then went to the rope climbing area with some other kids. He puts himself in the middle of it all so really think this comment was a little strange from his teacher yesterday.

Thanks for all of the feedback, really does make you feel better hearing others stories and puts it all into perspective.  original.gif

#11 tiggy2

Posted 27 February 2013 - 09:45 AM

Sounds perfectly normal.

If you do want to cultivate specific friendships organise some one on one playdates with a few of the kids and see who he seems to click with (and which mums you like!)

If you don't get to chat with the other mums you can put a note in the child's pocket thingy where they put the kinder newsletters.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

What you need to know about ovulation tests

Most people who are trying to get pregnant know that the best time to conceive is in the few days after ovulation.

Surviving a miscarriage at sea

A cruise with your family is among the most absurd settings for a miscarriage, but it is certainly not the worst.

Mum of three denied tubal ligation because she's 'too young'

A 22-year-old woman who is pregnant with her third child has had her requests for a tubal ligation denied because doctors believe she is too young.

Slapped cheek syndrome a danger for pregnant women

When a pregnant woman is infected, the likelihood that her foetus will be infected is about 50 per cent.

The signs and symptoms of ovulation

If you're hoping to conceive, one of the most important things you need to know about is ovulation.

We all know 'mum guilt' - but what about 'dad guilt'?

I remember the first time I felt mum guilt, within days of having my first child. The feeling was so intense I rang my own mum to debrief, hoping she'd tell me I wouldn't feel this way very often.

Kristen Bell urges mums to be their own superhero

When it comes to motherhood, actress Kristen Bell is her own superhero and she thinks other mums should be too.

Pram review: GB Pockit travel stroller

In a world of ever-shrinking gadgets, it's no surprise prams are getting smaller. We put the record-holding GB Pockit through its paces.

The beautiful Bombol Bouncer is back

The gorgeous Bombol Bouncer is back - and boasts two chic new colours to boot.

Gadgets and accessories for wine lovers

Looking for a gift for the wine lover in your life - or just something for yourself?

Free ticket offer

Pinky Mckay joins us again at the Essential Baby & Toddler Show presented by Blackmores with her expert baby settling advice. Register now for your free ticket.

The adventure doesn't have to stop: here's how to travel with baby

The best part about our outdoor adventures? It makes my husband and I better parents, since we're happier while adventuring.

Woman crashes car to save mum and baby's life

A good samaritan saved a mother and baby from being seriously injured by crashing her own car into theirs.

Should you tell your boss about your postnatal depression?

Returning to work after having a baby can be daunting, and when you're experiencing postnatal depression or anxiety it can seem even more overwhelming.

TV noise can slow toddler word learning, study finds

Background noise from the radio or TV might be making it harder for your toddler to learn learn new words.

Teresa Palmer on her molar pregnancy and 'unsexy' conception

Teresa Palmer is basking in pregnancy glow as she awaits the arrival of her new baby.

 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Articles

Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

For the festival lover in all of us

Pre-book & Save 50%. Get your tickets now for Kidtopia Festival. 7-9 October 2016 Parramatta Park, Sydney.

Why drinking water can be deadly for babies

H2O is one of the necessities of life, but for babies a seemingly harmless amount of water can be fatal.

5 ways having a baby is different when you have older children

So much parenting advice is geared towards having your first baby, but what's it like having a baby when you already have children?

You can now make your own plush Falkor

Fans of The NeverEnding Story – of which there are certainly plenty – went crazy for these plush Falkors when they first went on sale last year.

Baby steps

10 things that will actually happen after having a baby

I thought I had prepared myself for motherhood. Then my baby girl arrived and knocked everything flat.

Having a baby: expectations vs reality

People love to warn you about what to expect when having a baby, but they can be way off when it comes to the reality.

Are we having fun yet? Thinking positively as a parent

Motherhood is wonderful ... except when it sucks.

The adorable smile of a baby seeing his mum clearly for the first time

There is no doubt seeing their child smile for the first time is an unforgettable moment for parents everywhere.

When breastfeeding doesn't go with the flow

Breast is best, except when it's not. And in our case, it most definitely wasn't.

'If you don't vaccinate your kids you're a bloody idiot'

The photos are heartbreaking and almost too difficult to look at, but Kayley Burke is begging other parents to take notice.

Why pregnant women should eat chocolate

In news that will make expectant mums jump for joy - and reach for a block of Cadbury - scientists have revealed chocolate could provide health benefits during pregnancy.

The baby born with an incredible head of hair

If you're in any way challenged in the follicle department, prepare to feel a jolt of envy - at a two-month-old baby.

The push for Medicare to fund lactation consultants

While meeting with a lactation consultant can make an enormous difference to a new mother, it's not a service that is available through the public health system.

Parents, this is how to cut grapes to avoid choking

One mum has learnt a harrowing lesson about the best way to cut grapes to make it safe for toddlers and little kids to eat.

Three truths about C-section mums

Lately I've been thinking about the caesarean stories and the brave women who birth their children with strength and beauty.

Help! My baby will only sleep in my arms

It's stressful to be the one who is holding your baby most of the day, but it's even more stressful to wonder, 'am I doing something wrong? Or am I creating bad habits?'

 

Free ticket offer

Essential Baby & Toddler Show - Sydney

The Essential Baby & Toddler Show, presented by Blackmores, will be held in Sydney on 23-25 September. Register for your free ticket now to save $20!

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.