Jump to content

How close is too close together?
WDYK


  • Please log in to reply
23 replies to this topic

#1 Guest_Marquise_*

Posted 25 February 2013 - 04:34 PM

So I've just had my first child, 3 weeks ago, and yes, I am buggered and exhausted. But I'm also an old mum (about to turn 40), and the experience of having my daughter (after being quite sure for most of my life that I wouldn't have kids) has made me realise how much I DON'T want her to be an only child.
Is it crazy for us to be considering another one straight away? It took me a year to fall pregnant, and I think it will be harder this time.
advice?

#2 frizzle

Posted 25 February 2013 - 04:38 PM

Not at all. I would get the all clear from your dr and start when I was ready.  At your age (which is only a year older than me by the way) I would seek help after ttc for 6 months. Don't try for a year.

Edited by frizzle, 25 February 2013 - 04:38 PM.


#3 Guest_Marquise_*

Posted 25 February 2013 - 04:42 PM

thanks.

bit worried that it might kill me - people seem to freak out at an 18 month gap, let alone something closer. Have you done it?

#4 .:Natty:.

Posted 25 February 2013 - 04:42 PM

12month gap here, whilst not planned and it was a complete shock, it works. I didn't know any different and every baby stage just seemed like a long long stage. Its a scary thought but you cope, you have no other choice. I now have a 4yr gap between 1 &3  and honestly I still prefer the closer age gap.
Its hard work and you are tired but it is worth it original.gif

#5 Guest_Marquise_*

Posted 25 February 2013 - 04:44 PM

how do you handle the feeding? are 2 arms enough? Do they sleep in tandem?

#6 Feral Madam Mim

Posted 25 February 2013 - 04:46 PM

I bumped into the woman I shared a room with after the birth of DS1 3 weeks after his first birthday, she was on her way home from hospital after having her second (so her children were 1 year 2 weeks apart), it was what worked for her and her family. If you want another and don't want to wait then go for it (obviously after getting the all clear from your Dr)  original.gif

#7 .:Natty:.

Posted 25 February 2013 - 04:51 PM

QUOTE (Marquise @ 25/02/2013, 05:44 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
how do you handle the feeding? are 2 arms enough? Do they sleep in tandem?



Sometimes two arms aren't enough lol, but you get very good at juggling.

Sleep wise dd1 was a very good sleeper so she used to still have two day sleeps when dd2 was born. I had them on a very strict routine, I needed it more for me then them. Some nights you felt like you never got to bed, but I think its like that with bigger gaps as well (still feel like that often with the three especially when sickness comes visiting lol).

Feeding wise, you do feel like you are constantly dishing out food, my supply didn't last with dd2 (we moved 2 days after she was born so lots of stress) so she was bottle fed, so I never really had to factor tandem feeds ect, but I have heard others do it fine.

#8 oliboli

Posted 25 February 2013 - 04:53 PM

I am an older mum too - had my first at 39 and second at 40 - 11 1/2 months between the two.  It certainly wasn't planned that way but just happened, and I am so glad it did.  Everyone told me it would be hard (especially my charming MIL who told me it was terrible that I was pregnant again and that I would not cope and would end up in a mental institution! - suffice to say our relationship has been extremely frosty ever since!).  My kids are best friends and are playing together outside as we speak. I would have had a third with the same age difference, but it didn't happen for us unfortunately.

#9 copham

Posted 25 February 2013 - 04:54 PM

My DH and his sister are 11 months apart in age.

My sister and I are 14 months apart in age.

My DD was born 4th Oct 2010, my DS was born 17th Oct 2011 and this baby will be 4th April 2013. My body has its moments where it hates me I swear but it's doable. Make sure you check with your OB/GP that there are no reasons not to TTC so soon.

#10 Guest_Marquise_*

Posted 25 February 2013 - 05:02 PM

I think we'd have to keep trying for another one so soon a secret from PIL. They'd descend on us with criticism and worries.

It's the growing up together thing as friends I'd like. I love that your kids can do that. 11 months - is that too young to have been jealous when the 2nd child came along?

#11 oliboli

Posted 25 February 2013 - 05:09 PM

My DS does not remember life without his sister, and yes - he was far too young to become jealous of her when she was born.

#12 Rosiebubs

Posted 25 February 2013 - 05:18 PM

QUOTE (Marquise @ 25/02/2013, 05:02 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
11 months - is that too young to have been jealous when the 2nd child came along?


I reckon.  We have a 20 month age gap between DS and DD, and I didn't see any signs of jealousy.  A few regressions to babyhood (e.g. wanting to be carried, spoon fed), but that was it.

#13 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 25 February 2013 - 06:43 PM

We started trying to conceive our second when DS was 6 months old. Unfortunately it took longer than planned. DS was easy baby (apart from his sleep) and so far an easy toddler, so we wanted another one sooner as thought if the next one is more difficult it would be easier to cope.

We will end up having a 21 month gap.

I have friends with closer age gaps (13 months and 18 months) and they cope fine.

#14 CalEliKat

Posted 25 February 2013 - 06:48 PM

15 month age gap with our first 2.  I actually found it incredibly easy, baby number 2 fell into baby number 1's rountine easily and it was very cruisy for me.  However when DD2 arrived 22 months later maybe that was a bit of a stretch.

#15 Feral Grey Mare

Posted 25 February 2013 - 06:54 PM

An ex-neighbour of ours had Number One, who was 6 weeks prem and was pregnant with Number Two before One came home. But thet's not all.....Number Two turned out to be Numbers Two and Three. Three babies under 12 months. It was a nightmare for the first two or three years but now that they are teenagers the early years seem like a walk in the park.

If I were you I would just go for it as soon as your doctor gives you the OK.

#16 Monket

Posted 25 February 2013 - 06:57 PM

I had my first child at 41 and my second at 42.  They are 14 months apart.  DD was not planned (after extensive IVF to make DS) and I was less than happy about finding out I was pregnant when he was still a baby.  Now, it really doesn't matter.  

The first year had some truly awful moments but some great moments also.  They are now fabulous together and I am so glad that the age gap is not huge.  They are polar opposites and can fight like cats and dogs but can be equally as loving too, no different to siblings with a larger gap.  I love how they are into the same things at the same time and can truly share a childhood.  As I am so old, I also love that they will have each other when they no longer have us!

If it feels right, go for it!

#17 au*lit

Posted 25 February 2013 - 08:02 PM

I went to school with three girls, one older sister and twins twelve months younger. That would be hard.

I know someone who got pregnant when her first was 6 weeks old. Both babies were prem, so there's only about a 9 month gap. It's been hard for her, basically having two babies just at different stages. Now that the younger one is moving into toddlerhood it's getting easier.

#18 lilwonder

Posted 25 February 2013 - 09:34 PM

12month age gap between youngest two here totally unplanned but wouldn't change it for the world! Never had any jealousy issues as DS was way too young, insanely busy but worth it. In your situation I don't see why not, if you are ready go for it as soon as you get the all clear.

Oh FWIW the pregnancy was actually one of the hardest parts for me though it was very difficult having back/pelvis problems and lugging around a heavy son who couldn't walk yet

#19 **Tiger*Feral**

Posted 25 February 2013 - 09:42 PM

I have heard of a 7 month gap ( second child was premature). That is too close.

#20 *mylittleprince*

Posted 25 February 2013 - 09:48 PM

If time isn't on your side, then I say go for it. All age gaps have pros and cons. I have a 3 year old and 4 month old twins. All my faily live overseas. You just cope because you have too! I'm loving this stage of life.

#21 roses99

Posted 25 February 2013 - 09:49 PM

Given your age and the fact that you know you want another baby, I think you should just go for it.

Forget about what other people say to discourage you. There are advantages and disadvantages either way.

Just do whatever you can to set up some support. For instance, you might decide to put your older child in daycare for two days a week when the new baby comes along. Although I had a bigger age gap, my son's two days of care were a lifesaver in those early days - for both of us! It meant he could do all the painting and cooking and activities that I didn't have the energy to set up for him and it gave me time at home with my newborn (you know, to actually sleep when the baby sleeps!) If your budget allows it, I'd also invest in a cleaner or even consider having an in-home nanny for a few hours a week to help out.

#22 CallMeFeral

Posted 25 February 2013 - 10:03 PM

If you think it will take a while to fall pregnant, start as soon as you can.

Mine have a 13 month gap (DS was an accident). It was ridiculously hard work for the first 12-18 months of his life, but it's been a dream since then - they entertain each other, have a constant companion, play together, I get to spend all day on EB wink.gif  But no seriously, I think after that baby stage, 2 is as easy as 1 (lots of variables at play of course, it depends what they are like and whether they get along). And if you know you want more than one and it may take a while, I would absolutely start straight away because it probably won't be that close a gap anyway. And if it is - it will be hard for a little while - but you'll get through it and then it will be EXCELLENT. original.gif

#23 FeralLIfeHacker

Posted 25 February 2013 - 10:12 PM

I have a 13 month gap between 2 of mine, didn't plan to be pg when dd was 4 months old but that's how it worked out.  There were some crazy days that's for sure but overall great and really good now they are 3 and 4!

#24 ~river song~

Posted 25 February 2013 - 10:22 PM

I have a 14 month gap. The early days of #2 are very very hazy and I was in survival mode. Its gotten a bit easier in some ways now. The best bit is they play together and keep each other entertained which is handy.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Clever panda fakes pregnancy

News that a giant panda was pregnant prompted much excitement, but it appears there were never any cubs on the way.

'I survived placenta percreta'

When writing her birth plan, Simone Pavil included an item most women wouldn?t even think about: what should happen if she was put on life support. The mum had the potentially fatal condition placenta accreta.

Managing personal space as a mum

In the midst of the early parenting years, our bodies and minds can seemingly be overtaken by our offspring. How can we balance our need for personal space with the needs of our children?

'If love could have saved you, you'd have never left'

The words "spontaneous abortion" on the hospital paperwork really got to me. My baby died; I didn't spontaneously decide to abort him.

15 classic Aussie ads

Watch some of the classic Australian ads of the 80s, 90s and 00s, and remember the catchphrases and jingles we all used to know so well ...

For and against

Should Blue Ivy have been at the VMAs?

Many were quick to condemn Beyonce and Jay Z after appearing on stage at the MTV Video Music Awards with their two-year-old daughter, but others thought it was a sweet family moment. What do you think?

Toddler attacked at gym creche

Two-year-old girl Eva Ness was left with a black eye and bite marks on her face and body after an altercation with an older child at a health club's child-minding facilities. Now her parents are calling for the centre to be closed.

Pregnancy a tricky matter of timing for FIFO couples

Manipulating rosters, coordinating 'conjugal' visits, working on site with your partner; getting pregnant can prove stressful for FIFO workers.

WIN a $100 RedBalloon for Dad

Enter now for your chance to win 1 of 5 $100 RedBalloon experience vouchers. Helping you make Dad's Day EXTRA HAPPY.

Carseats have twice as many germs as a toilet

Most parents know their child's carseat is not always squeaky clean, but they might not realise just how dirty it really is.

Doctors remove foetus from 'medical marvel' after 36 years

Doctors in India have removed the skeleton of a foetus that had been inside a woman for 36 years.

Nine months in six seconds: new parents' Vine clip a hit

We?ve seen some memorable time-lapse pregnancy and birth announcement videos before. Now one new couple has taken it to the extreme, capturing it all in just a six-second Vine video.

Sonia Kruger speaks of baby joy

Celebrity mum-to-be Sonia Kruger has spoken candidly about using donor eggs and IVF to fall pregnant at age 48.

Dressing to not impress: life through the eyes of a three-year-old

When it comes to getting dressed, my three-year-old has only one criterion: ?I don?t want to look beautiful.? And now I've worked out why.

Special nappies made with love for angel babies

Angel Baby Nappies make and provide tiny bereavement cloth nappies for pre-term stillborn babies and premature babies who pass away in the NICU.

Inside the brain of a tantruming toddler

What's going on in your child's mind in the lead-up to a tantrum? And what?s the best way to respond?

5 secrets to a long-lasting relationship

When it comes to keeping your relationship strong, it?s what you do - and not what you want - that really matters.

When 'furbabies' meet real babies

I am obsessed with my dogs, and can't imagine loving them any less once my baby arrives. But that doesn't stop everyone from telling me I will.

The least popular baby names of 2013

Looking for a baby name that?s nowhere near the top 10 ? or even the top 1000? Try the bottom five.

'I was so sleep deprived I crashed my car'

There are no laws regulating driving while tired, but statistics show that driver fatigue is one of the top three contributors to the road toll.

Win back some precious time and get FREE coupons

Membership to eBay's Bubs? Corner is free and includes a $10 coupon to spend on nappies each month - a win for multitasking mums!

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

WIN a $100 RedBalloon for Dad

Enter now for your chance to win 1 of 5 $100 RedBalloon experience vouchers. Helping you make Dad's Day EXTRA HAPPY.

Win back some precious time and get FREE coupons

Membership to eBay's Bubs? Corner is free and includes a $10 coupon to spend on nappies each month - a win for multitasking mums!

Do you suffer from Precious Firstborn Syndrome?

Testing ?no more tears? shampoo in your own eyes, warming cucumber sticks so they're not cold straight from the fridge, waking a sleeping baby to check they?re still breathing: these are all symptoms of Precious Firstborn Syndrome.

Ezra's tragic death not in vain, mum says

Little Ezra was a "Harry Houdini" who loved trying to escape the family home. Now, after his tragic death, his parents are doing what they can to help others.

7 mistakes old hands make with new babies

As I sat across the table from my friend ? me, a seasoned mother of three; her, a brand new mum ? I thought of all the mistakes an old-hand parent can make when visiting a newborn baby.

Video: When adults act like children

Ever wondered what would happen if adults were allowed to act like children? This dad's hilarious video clip will give you an idea of what life would be like.

Mums hit hardest as flu cases skyrocket

The number of confirmed cases of influenza in Australia has doubled the number for the same time last year - and women are 25 per cent more likely to get it.

The mum who had four babies in nine months

Feeling exhausted due to the demands of caring for a baby? Imagine the life of this mum, who gave birth to three boys and one girl in just nine months.

Everything baby at Big W

Lowest prices on everything baby, only at Big W. Sale starts August 4 and ends August 20 2014.

Going viral

Weirdest pregnancy products

From pee stick keepers to stylish sick bags, there are some very strange inventions out there for pregnant women.

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

 

Mind, body, beauty, life

Making time for me

We look at your wellbeing, covering health, relationships, beauty and fashion, mind and body.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.