Jump to content

Another wedding question


  • Please log in to reply
25 replies to this topic

#1 Nofliesonme

Posted 25 February 2013 - 01:34 PM

So as previously stated we are running off and having a small wedding etc, many friends and family aren't coming and many will not be able to make it to the gathering we have a few weeks later..

I don't want gifts etc but know many people will still want to wish us well etc.

If I include a blank card and a message that reads.


Because you couldn't be with us on our special day,
We thought you might like to wish us well, anyway.
Enclosed is a blank card just for you, to write
your well wishes for us two.
Write what you wish, write what you may,
to be stuck in a book forever and a day.

If this is something you'd like to do
Please post card back to the following address:



Is that too forward. I figure it implies we only want the card back and it would be a lovely keepsake for us if they did return it.

#2 PurpleNess

Posted 25 February 2013 - 01:37 PM

I've never heard of this before but if your friends & family have RSVP's that they can't attend etc then I don't see the harm...although most caring individuals I'd think may send a card regardless.

#3 Fossy

Posted 25 February 2013 - 01:43 PM

Id just let them pick their own card, I love reading all the cards and finding one that suits the couple. Much more personal I think.

#4 epl0822

Posted 25 February 2013 - 01:44 PM

You'll probably receive cards from your friends and family anyway. If somebody asks you what you want for your wedding you could say you'd love to receive a nice card to make a booklet, or you could get a close friend to organise it for you. But it seems unnecessary to send people notes essentially asking them to "please write us a card."

#5 spellfall

Posted 25 February 2013 - 01:46 PM

I would prefer a message along the lines if 'we're sorry you couldn't make it to our special day. If you would like to, please enclose a message and post to XXX'



#6 Threelittleducks

Posted 25 February 2013 - 01:47 PM

I'm a little confused by the timeline....

Is it - You invite someone, they RSVP and decline, you then send them a card asking for well wishes?

If this is the case then I think it is a little odd.

Normally when we are unable to attend a wedding, I send a lovely card wishing them well with a note declining the invitation. Then, if we are close to the couple, a gift follows closer to the time.

I don't like the idea of being pressured or made to feel obliged to send a note with well wishes.

Good luck.

#7 niggles

Posted 25 February 2013 - 01:48 PM

I'd avoid the phrase 'wish us well' as it's one that's become synonymous with the option of giving money instead of a gift and I don't think you want to imply that.

#8 emlis22

Posted 25 February 2013 - 01:53 PM

I agree that it sounds like you're still asking for money.

#9 zzgirl

Posted 25 February 2013 - 02:00 PM

I don't like the idea.  If I received that it would sound to me like you want me to send the card back with money in it.  (which I would normally do if I wasn't attending a wedding anyway with a card).  So I kind of see it as you are being a bit pushy???  If someone wants to send you a card and a message, they will.  Otherwise its kind of like you are pushing the point.

#10 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 25 February 2013 - 02:02 PM

Never heard of this before.  It's a nice thought, from your perspective.  However, I suspect people who want to send you a card will do so, off their own bat, without any prompting.  Otherwise, you are putting your friends under a bit of pressure to perform as expected, IMO.

If you do go ahead with this, include a self-addressed stamped envelope.  You might as well go the whole way and make sure you get the note returned.

QUOTE (niggles @ 25/02/2013, 01:48 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'd avoid the phrase 'wish us well' as it's one that's become synonymous with the option of giving money instead of a gift and I don't think you want to imply that.

agree

#11 9ferals

Posted 25 February 2013 - 02:09 PM

Personally I wouldn't do it that way.
As you aren't having many people at your wedding itself, I'm guessing you are sending out an announcement rather than an invitation.  In which case I think you only need to announce the fact that you are married and then leave it up to people to decide for themselves just how they want to "wish you well".

It seems a bit contrived to ask people to send you something - if they aren't at either celebration and don't choose to send a card or anything else, they they probably aren't close enough to matter if they are included in your memory book.

#12 Nofliesonme

Posted 25 February 2013 - 02:12 PM

All good then, yes I have sent out Cards inviting people to a gathering after our wedding..... A few weeks after. Today I received 12 phone calls from people who can not attend as they all live too far away....they said they will return their RSVP in the mail but because they all know my phone number though they'd ring... ( I would assume that's why they rang ) lol. Anyways I was sitting here and just thought oh maybe I could make a book of cards etc.... I'm sure they still want to give us their best wishes for the future....

But obviously it seems as though that idea is on the out. And definitely don't want to imply that we want money... I didnt think it implied that but obviously by thE majority rule it does original.gif

Thanks anyway

ETA I took a previous Ebers advice and sent out announcements advising we are getting married on a particular date at a small private gathering...I also included the invite to the get together on ..... Of April.

Edited by thunda, 25 February 2013 - 02:15 PM.


#13 Littleone84

Posted 25 February 2013 - 02:35 PM

If people want to send you well wishes or a card they will.

I think its rude and also seems like a Wishing Well money grab for those that cant make it.

#14 Ice Queen

Posted 25 February 2013 - 02:40 PM

Odd.  I wouldn't like it and would assume it was wanting a cheque put with the card.  

I am a grown mature adult and like to choose my own cards and decide whether I want to write a message.  I don't need someone telling me to do it.  

Sorry I know you mean well but I really really dont like it and would probably throw it in the bin in a huff.

#15 FeralCrazyMum

Posted 25 February 2013 - 02:58 PM

It sounds like a cute idea in theory, but in reality, it's not. Those who want to wish you well will do so.

ETA: maybe the OP got the idea from the old acceptance cards ... I have memories of wedding invitations with their own acceptance cards that you sent back and these were often kept by brides. Bit late for that since you've already sent invites though.

Edited by CrazySingleMum, 25 February 2013 - 03:00 PM.


#16 Lyn29

Posted 25 February 2013 - 03:26 PM

.

Edited by bye, 29 March 2013 - 02:18 PM.


#17 Nofliesonme

Posted 25 February 2013 - 07:03 PM

Thanks, I don't have parents to ask so hence I turn to eB. Lol I'm sure they can steer me in a direction that's acceptable. Lol

So will just pop their cards in a box instead...why does everyone assume people want gifts or money just because they got married...some of us genuinely have no interest in that original.gif

Edited by thunda, 25 February 2013 - 07:05 PM.


#18 NSG

Posted 25 February 2013 - 07:10 PM

QUOTE (niggles @ 25/02/2013, 02:48 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'd avoid the phrase 'wish us well' as it's one that's become synonymous with the option of giving money instead of a gift and I don't think you want to imply that.


Agreed.

#19 Guest_GreyMatter_*

Posted 25 February 2013 - 07:19 PM

Sounds nice in theory and I can see the idea, but if I got something like that I'd think that the couple were looking for money.

QUOTE (thunda @ 25/02/2013, 08:03 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Thanks, I don't have parents to ask so hence I turn to eB. Lol I'm sure they can steer me in a direction that's acceptable. Lol

So will just pop their cards in a box instead...why does everyone assume people want gifts or money just because they got married...some of us genuinely have no interest in that original.gif


I don't assume that people want gifts or money and depending on who the couple was I'd probably send something anyway, but it just seems a little "proactive" (for want of a better word).

#20 eachschoolholidays

Posted 25 February 2013 - 07:19 PM

I would find it very odd.  I definitely wouldn't recommend it.  Keep the ones you receive, but don't ask people to send them!

#21 Ice Queen

Posted 25 February 2013 - 07:28 PM

QUOTE (thunda @ 25/02/2013, 05:03 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
So will just pop their cards in a box instead...why does everyone assume people want gifts or money just because they got married...some of us genuinely have no interest in that original.gif


I kept all my wedding cards in a box and it is lovely.  I read through them only recently when we moved house and it brought a smile to my face.  I also have boxes for the cards from when both my bubs were born.
biggrin.gif

#22 Nofliesonme

Posted 25 February 2013 - 07:29 PM

I too have kept the cards from when all kids were born

#23 Feral-as-Meggs

Posted 25 February 2013 - 07:35 PM

OP I get what you are driving at.  You want people to know you value them, and give them the chance to participate, even though they can't be at the wedding.

I'd get prints of your favourite photo(s) from the wedding (an informal one if you havent got the official "photographer" ones back) and send them to everyone who couldn't be there.  I guarantee you'll get cards/emails/FB comments and you can print them for your album.

#24 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 25 February 2013 - 08:52 PM

QUOTE (meggs1 @ 25/02/2013, 07:35 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
OP I get what you are driving at.  You want people to know you value them, and give them the chance to participate, even though they can't be at the wedding.

I'd get prints of your favourite photo(s) from the wedding (an informal one if you havent got the official "photographer" ones back) and send them to everyone who couldn't be there.  I guarantee you'll get cards/emails/FB comments and you can print them for your album.

I like this suggestion.   biggrin.gif

#25 zrello

Posted 25 February 2013 - 09:22 PM

I actually like the idea in theory.  When we married, all of dh's family was overseas.  We asked for them to write a message to be shared at the wedding & these were read out by the bridesmaids like the telegrams in the old days.  You could read out the best ones & make a display board of the rest with the guest book.  You could ask people with Something along the lines of, we would like you to still be part of our special day... Perhaps get your mother or bridesmaids to write to those not coming & ask if they wanted to send a message for the day? That may take away the possible cash in a card feeling.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

For and against

Should Blue Ivy have been at the VMAs?

Many were quick to condemn Beyonce and Jay Z after appearing on stage at the MTV Video Music Awards with their two-year-old daughter, but others thought it was a sweet family moment. What do you think?

Toddler attacked at gym creche

Two-year-old girl Eva Ness was left with a black eye and bite marks on her face and body after an altercation with an older child at a health club's child-minding facilities. Now her parents are calling for the centre to be closed.

Pregnancy a tricky matter of timing for FIFO couples

Manipulating rosters, coordinating 'conjugal' visits, working on site with your partner; getting pregnant can prove stressful for FIFO workers.

WIN a $100 RedBalloon for Dad

Enter now for your chance to win 1 of 5 $100 RedBalloon experience vouchers. Helping you make Dad's Day EXTRA HAPPY.

Carseats have twice as many germs as a toilet

Most parents know their child's carseat is not always squeaky clean, but they might not realise just how dirty it really is.

Doctors remove foetus from 'medical marvel' after 36 years

Doctors in India have removed the skeleton of a foetus that had been inside a woman for 36 years.

Nine months in six seconds: new parents' Vine clip a hit

We?ve seen some memorable time-lapse pregnancy and birth announcement videos before. Now one new couple has taken it to the extreme, capturing it all in just a six-second Vine video.

Sonia Kruger speaks of baby joy

Celebrity mum-to-be Sonia Kruger has spoken candidly about using donor eggs and IVF to fall pregnant at age 48.

Dressing to not impress: life through the eyes of a three-year-old

When it comes to getting dressed, my three-year-old has only one criterion: ?I don?t want to look beautiful.? And now I've worked out why.

Special nappies made with love for angel babies

Angel Baby Nappies make and provide tiny bereavement cloth nappies for pre-term stillborn babies and premature babies who pass away in the NICU.

Inside the brain of a tantruming toddler

What's going on in your child's mind in the lead-up to a tantrum? And what?s the best way to respond?

5 secrets to a long-lasting relationship

When it comes to keeping your relationship strong, it?s what you do - and not what you want - that really matters.

When 'furbabies' meet real babies

I am obsessed with my dogs, and can't imagine loving them any less once my baby arrives. But that doesn't stop everyone from telling me I will.

The least popular baby names of 2013

Looking for a baby name that?s nowhere near the top 10 ? or even the top 1000? Try the bottom five.

'I was so sleep deprived I crashed my car'

There are no laws regulating driving while tired, but statistics show that driver fatigue is one of the top three contributors to the road toll.

Why are there so few sexy maternity bras?

Rather than feeling ashamed of their post-baby bodies, women should be free to buy lingerie that makes them look attractive and pretty - no matter what stage of life they're in.

Toddler Alliyah one step closer to first trip home

She has lived the first 14 months of her life in a hospital intensive care unit, but Alliyah Broadby's parents hope to finally take their little girl home with them.

'Put people before IVF profits': IVF pioneer Alan Trounson

IVF could be done for hundreds of dollars in Australia instead of $8500 if clinics stopped charging what ''the market will handle'', a pioneer of the technology says.

Expectant parents urged to swap the pub for bub

Nearly one in five women drink while pregnant, but a current campaign is trying to drive down that unhealthy statistic.

Nutella supplies threatened by bad weather

There's bad news for fans of Nutella, the gooey, chocolatey hazelnut spread.

The cost of growing your own vegies

Does it make financial sense to grow your own veggies, or are you better off ordering produce from the local food co-op?

Breastfeeding mums less likely to suffer from PND, but all need support

A new study has shown the a complex relationship between a mother?s intention to breastfeed, her ability to do so, and postnatal depression.

Win back some precious time and get FREE coupons

Membership to eBay's Bubs? Corner is free and includes a $10 coupon to spend on nappies each month - a win for multitasking mums!

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win back some precious time and get FREE coupons

Membership to eBay's Bubs? Corner is free and includes a $10 coupon to spend on nappies each month - a win for multitasking mums!

Do you suffer from Precious Firstborn Syndrome?

Testing ?no more tears? shampoo in your own eyes, warming cucumber sticks so they're not cold straight from the fridge, waking a sleeping baby to check they?re still breathing: these are all symptoms of Precious Firstborn Syndrome.

Ezra's tragic death not in vain, mum says

Little Ezra was a "Harry Houdini" who loved trying to escape the family home. Now, after his tragic death, his parents are doing what they can to help others.

7 mistakes old hands make with new babies

As I sat across the table from my friend ? me, a seasoned mother of three; her, a brand new mum ? I thought of all the mistakes an old-hand parent can make when visiting a newborn baby.

Video: When adults act like children

Ever wondered what would happen if adults were allowed to act like children? This dad's hilarious video clip will give you an idea of what life would be like.

Mums hit hardest as flu cases skyrocket

The number of confirmed cases of influenza in Australia has doubled the number for the same time last year - and women are 25 per cent more likely to get it.

The mum who had four babies in nine months

Feeling exhausted due to the demands of caring for a baby? Imagine the life of this mum, who gave birth to three boys and one girl in just nine months.

Everything baby at Big W

Lowest prices on everything baby, only at Big W. Sale starts August 4 and ends August 20 2014.

Smiggle is painting the town red!

We have 3 Red Smiggle prize packs to give away! Enter by posting a photo of something red to your Instagram.

Going viral

Mum gives birth at school

After four decades in the industry, pest controller John Birkett couldn't believe what he found in one woman's bedroom.

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

 

Mind, body, beauty, life

Making time for me

We look at your wellbeing, covering health, relationships, beauty and fashion, mind and body.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.