Jump to content

Another wedding question


  • Please log in to reply
25 replies to this topic

#1 Nofliesonme

Posted 25 February 2013 - 01:34 PM

So as previously stated we are running off and having a small wedding etc, many friends and family aren't coming and many will not be able to make it to the gathering we have a few weeks later..

I don't want gifts etc but know many people will still want to wish us well etc.

If I include a blank card and a message that reads.


Because you couldn't be with us on our special day,
We thought you might like to wish us well, anyway.
Enclosed is a blank card just for you, to write
your well wishes for us two.
Write what you wish, write what you may,
to be stuck in a book forever and a day.

If this is something you'd like to do
Please post card back to the following address:



Is that too forward. I figure it implies we only want the card back and it would be a lovely keepsake for us if they did return it.

#2 PurpleNess

Posted 25 February 2013 - 01:37 PM

I've never heard of this before but if your friends & family have RSVP's that they can't attend etc then I don't see the harm...although most caring individuals I'd think may send a card regardless.

#3 Fossy

Posted 25 February 2013 - 01:43 PM

Id just let them pick their own card, I love reading all the cards and finding one that suits the couple. Much more personal I think.

#4 epl0822

Posted 25 February 2013 - 01:44 PM

You'll probably receive cards from your friends and family anyway. If somebody asks you what you want for your wedding you could say you'd love to receive a nice card to make a booklet, or you could get a close friend to organise it for you. But it seems unnecessary to send people notes essentially asking them to "please write us a card."

#5 insertnamehere

Posted 25 February 2013 - 01:46 PM

I would prefer a message along the lines if 'we're sorry you couldn't make it to our special day. If you would like to, please enclose a message and post to XXX'



#6 Threelittleducks

Posted 25 February 2013 - 01:47 PM

I'm a little confused by the timeline....

Is it - You invite someone, they RSVP and decline, you then send them a card asking for well wishes?

If this is the case then I think it is a little odd.

Normally when we are unable to attend a wedding, I send a lovely card wishing them well with a note declining the invitation. Then, if we are close to the couple, a gift follows closer to the time.

I don't like the idea of being pressured or made to feel obliged to send a note with well wishes.

Good luck.

#7 niggles

Posted 25 February 2013 - 01:48 PM

I'd avoid the phrase 'wish us well' as it's one that's become synonymous with the option of giving money instead of a gift and I don't think you want to imply that.

#8 emlis22

Posted 25 February 2013 - 01:53 PM

I agree that it sounds like you're still asking for money.

#9 zzgirl

Posted 25 February 2013 - 02:00 PM

I don't like the idea.  If I received that it would sound to me like you want me to send the card back with money in it.  (which I would normally do if I wasn't attending a wedding anyway with a card).  So I kind of see it as you are being a bit pushy???  If someone wants to send you a card and a message, they will.  Otherwise its kind of like you are pushing the point.

#10 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 25 February 2013 - 02:02 PM

Never heard of this before.  It's a nice thought, from your perspective.  However, I suspect people who want to send you a card will do so, off their own bat, without any prompting.  Otherwise, you are putting your friends under a bit of pressure to perform as expected, IMO.

If you do go ahead with this, include a self-addressed stamped envelope.  You might as well go the whole way and make sure you get the note returned.

QUOTE (niggles @ 25/02/2013, 01:48 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'd avoid the phrase 'wish us well' as it's one that's become synonymous with the option of giving money instead of a gift and I don't think you want to imply that.

agree

#11 9ferals

Posted 25 February 2013 - 02:09 PM

Personally I wouldn't do it that way.
As you aren't having many people at your wedding itself, I'm guessing you are sending out an announcement rather than an invitation.  In which case I think you only need to announce the fact that you are married and then leave it up to people to decide for themselves just how they want to "wish you well".

It seems a bit contrived to ask people to send you something - if they aren't at either celebration and don't choose to send a card or anything else, they they probably aren't close enough to matter if they are included in your memory book.

#12 Nofliesonme

Posted 25 February 2013 - 02:12 PM

All good then, yes I have sent out Cards inviting people to a gathering after our wedding..... A few weeks after. Today I received 12 phone calls from people who can not attend as they all live too far away....they said they will return their RSVP in the mail but because they all know my phone number though they'd ring... ( I would assume that's why they rang ) lol. Anyways I was sitting here and just thought oh maybe I could make a book of cards etc.... I'm sure they still want to give us their best wishes for the future....

But obviously it seems as though that idea is on the out. And definitely don't want to imply that we want money... I didnt think it implied that but obviously by thE majority rule it does original.gif

Thanks anyway

ETA I took a previous Ebers advice and sent out announcements advising we are getting married on a particular date at a small private gathering...I also included the invite to the get together on ..... Of April.

Edited by thunda, 25 February 2013 - 02:15 PM.


#13 Littleone84

Posted 25 February 2013 - 02:35 PM

If people want to send you well wishes or a card they will.

I think its rude and also seems like a Wishing Well money grab for those that cant make it.

#14 Ice Queen

Posted 25 February 2013 - 02:40 PM

Odd.  I wouldn't like it and would assume it was wanting a cheque put with the card.  

I am a grown mature adult and like to choose my own cards and decide whether I want to write a message.  I don't need someone telling me to do it.  

Sorry I know you mean well but I really really dont like it and would probably throw it in the bin in a huff.

#15 FeralCrazyMum

Posted 25 February 2013 - 02:58 PM

It sounds like a cute idea in theory, but in reality, it's not. Those who want to wish you well will do so.

ETA: maybe the OP got the idea from the old acceptance cards ... I have memories of wedding invitations with their own acceptance cards that you sent back and these were often kept by brides. Bit late for that since you've already sent invites though.

Edited by CrazySingleMum, 25 February 2013 - 03:00 PM.


#16 Lyn29

Posted 25 February 2013 - 03:26 PM

.

Edited by bye, 29 March 2013 - 02:18 PM.


#17 Nofliesonme

Posted 25 February 2013 - 07:03 PM

Thanks, I don't have parents to ask so hence I turn to eB. Lol I'm sure they can steer me in a direction that's acceptable. Lol

So will just pop their cards in a box instead...why does everyone assume people want gifts or money just because they got married...some of us genuinely have no interest in that original.gif

Edited by thunda, 25 February 2013 - 07:05 PM.


#18 Lots of stripes

Posted 25 February 2013 - 07:10 PM

QUOTE (niggles @ 25/02/2013, 02:48 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'd avoid the phrase 'wish us well' as it's one that's become synonymous with the option of giving money instead of a gift and I don't think you want to imply that.


Agreed.

#19 Guest_GreyMatter_*

Posted 25 February 2013 - 07:19 PM

Sounds nice in theory and I can see the idea, but if I got something like that I'd think that the couple were looking for money.

QUOTE (thunda @ 25/02/2013, 08:03 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Thanks, I don't have parents to ask so hence I turn to eB. Lol I'm sure they can steer me in a direction that's acceptable. Lol

So will just pop their cards in a box instead...why does everyone assume people want gifts or money just because they got married...some of us genuinely have no interest in that original.gif


I don't assume that people want gifts or money and depending on who the couple was I'd probably send something anyway, but it just seems a little "proactive" (for want of a better word).

#20 eachschoolholidays

Posted 25 February 2013 - 07:19 PM

I would find it very odd.  I definitely wouldn't recommend it.  Keep the ones you receive, but don't ask people to send them!

#21 Ice Queen

Posted 25 February 2013 - 07:28 PM

QUOTE (thunda @ 25/02/2013, 05:03 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
So will just pop their cards in a box instead...why does everyone assume people want gifts or money just because they got married...some of us genuinely have no interest in that original.gif


I kept all my wedding cards in a box and it is lovely.  I read through them only recently when we moved house and it brought a smile to my face.  I also have boxes for the cards from when both my bubs were born.
biggrin.gif

#22 Nofliesonme

Posted 25 February 2013 - 07:29 PM

I too have kept the cards from when all kids were born

#23 Feral-as-Meggs

Posted 25 February 2013 - 07:35 PM

OP I get what you are driving at.  You want people to know you value them, and give them the chance to participate, even though they can't be at the wedding.

I'd get prints of your favourite photo(s) from the wedding (an informal one if you havent got the official "photographer" ones back) and send them to everyone who couldn't be there.  I guarantee you'll get cards/emails/FB comments and you can print them for your album.

#24 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 25 February 2013 - 08:52 PM

QUOTE (meggs1 @ 25/02/2013, 07:35 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
OP I get what you are driving at.  You want people to know you value them, and give them the chance to participate, even though they can't be at the wedding.

I'd get prints of your favourite photo(s) from the wedding (an informal one if you havent got the official "photographer" ones back) and send them to everyone who couldn't be there.  I guarantee you'll get cards/emails/FB comments and you can print them for your album.

I like this suggestion.   biggrin.gif

#25 zrello

Posted 25 February 2013 - 09:22 PM

I actually like the idea in theory.  When we married, all of dh's family was overseas.  We asked for them to write a message to be shared at the wedding & these were read out by the bridesmaids like the telegrams in the old days.  You could read out the best ones & make a display board of the rest with the guest book.  You could ask people with Something along the lines of, we would like you to still be part of our special day... Perhaps get your mother or bridesmaids to write to those not coming & ask if they wanted to send a message for the day? That may take away the possible cash in a card feeling.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

WIN an exclusive performance from Sam Moran!

To celebrate the release of children?s musical series Play Along with Sam, out now on DVD, we?re giving one lucky parent the chance to have Sam perform at their child?s pre-school or day care!

Toddler freed after getting trapped in escalator

A shopping centre escalator needed to be pulled apart to free a toddler's trapped hand.

Why I'm kind of excited about my daughter's nits

Is it weird to say that I am secretly thrilled to find that my daughter Edie has nits?

Baby born at 10:11 on 12-13-14

Well, it's actually 13-12-14 to us over here. But still, Clare Elizabeth Keane's consecutive numerical birth time is pretty special.

On holding tightly and loving fiercely

We can't live in fear. This post is about Christmas and how at this time we should be celebrating life and grateful for what we have: our loved ones who we cherish fiercely.

Babies, relatives and coping with Christmas day

Everyone will love your baby but your baby may not be so happy to be passed around a lot of new people - nor may you want to feed with an audience.

Why I won't be posting pictures of my baby on Facebook

There are pros and cons to this policy.

The myths and truths of gender swaying

Here are a few popular methods hopeful parents-to-be use to try to get a baby of their preferred gender – and what an expert says about whether they really work.

10 easy DIY Christmas decoration ideas

It's officially time to get into the Christmas spirit. Why not branch out when you put up your tree this year and add a personal touch with a few DIY decorations? We've found the perfect easy-to-make ways to put more festive fever into your home.

The dangerous new trend of glucose challenge test refusal

A dangerous trend is seeing more mothers-to-be declining a relatively simple and painless test to check for gestational diabetes.

Office of Fair Trading reveals naughty toys ahead of Christmas

The Office of Fair Trading has pulled seven toys from shelves ahead of Christmas after they fail safety tests.

Video: Baby boy's trouble with twins

These twin girls will no doubt have fun fooling people in years to come, but nobody will be as confused as baby Landon.

Long-term reversible male contraceptive on its way

Men could soon have access to an injectable long-term contraceptive which works in a similar way to a vasectomy but promises to be easily reversed.

'I tried to kill my baby': one mum's story

After bathing and dressing her three-month-old son, Amanda had a rare moment alone with her baby.

Attack of the 'mummy brain'

I feel that almost every day, someone in my life - be they a friend, family member or complete stranger - feels the need to excuse my behaviour as I have other things on my mind.

Mum of baby who fell ill after drinking raw milk speaks out

A Melbourne mother has described how her son turned grey when he became seriously ill after drinking raw milk.

Australian divorce rate lowest since 1976

Modern newlyweds are now well into their 30s and marriage still offers something powerful a new book argues.

The aftermath of a traumatic birth experience

In Australia, 30 per cent of women find their birth experience traumatic, with 6 per cent going on to develop post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Young mum burns 'from inside-out'

A young mum is in intensive care after she took a friend's antibiotic and wound up with an ailment that is burning her body 'from the inside-out'.

The disagreement that can break a relationship

If he doesn't change his mind, all I can hope is that I will. It would be a waste to spend the rest of my marriage mourning a baby that never was.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Co-sleeping or no-sleeping? Mum videos worst nap ever

One mother's futile attempt to sleep in caught on camera in a hilarious - and very cute - video.

Why children misbehave during the festive season

While we all like to imagine the holiday season as being a fun, loving and bonding experience; often our reality is quiet different.

I was fat-shamed by my doctor

The fear of being weighed is the most significant factor in women cancelling medical appointments - and now weight-shaming has happened to me.

End of an era: no more childcare

As we reach the end of 2014, we're closing the book on many things for another year, most notably childcare. Our last child has attended childcare for the very last time.

WIN an exclusive performance from Sam Moran!

To celebrate the release of children?s musical series Play Along with Sam, out now on DVD, we?re giving one lucky parent the chance to have Sam perform at their child?s pre-school or day care!

The 7-year itch is more like the 10-year itch: study

Contrary to popular belief, making it past the seven-year mark doesn't mean your marriage will be smooth sailing from there on.

Should children be forced to sit on Santa's lap?

We teach kids it’s okay to say no if they don’t feel safe, so why do some parents force their children to climb in to Santa's lap?

Stop telling us that parenting gets harder

I’m sure that parenting will get harder. But life isn’t exactly smooth sailing for many of us right now, either.

Baby born weighing almost 14 pounds

Yes, the bouncing baby girl was born by caesarean section. And mum says no more kids.

The dummy debate

I'm the first to admit that when I used to see tiny babies with dummies in their mouths, I thought "Hmm, lazy parenting." And now I apologise.

'I thought I was an only child'

Imagine meeting your double at a school sports event, or regularly being mistaken for someone you haven't met. Separated twins Margaret and Joy tell their story.

Carers admit to force-feeding children

As Sydney grieves the loss of Sydney siege victims Katrina Dawson and Tori Johnson, reports have suggested that both died as heroes.

 

How many weeks til Christmas?

On your To-Do list

Get the "Santa" shopping done without the kids in tow.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.