Jump to content

visiting unannounced when you know the host is sick


  • Please log in to reply
25 replies to this topic

#1 Feralishous

Posted 24 February 2013 - 11:57 PM

Normally I dont mind people dropping by.
But I have a bad cold, and despite knowing I was sick, DHs aunty and uncle (his mums brother and sister) dropped by today 'for a cuppa'
I was laying down with DD and DH told them at the door "you know we are sick, right?" and they still invited themselves in.
He didnt offer them drinks, or even a seat, just stood and chatted for a few minutes.
Im so tempted to post on facebook that we have been diagnosed with something nasty, and they need to go get tested now dev (6).gif
WDYT? Would you make a social call to someone who was ill? (as opposed to dropping in to offer a meal or help out with the kids)

#2 *lightning

Posted 25 February 2013 - 12:07 AM

No because we have six people in our household and when one child gets sick it takes weeks to go through them all.

#3 countrylivingmum

Posted 25 February 2013 - 12:12 AM

No I think it's very rude and for them to just ignore your dh is even ruder still. No one wants to entertain ppl when they are sick.

#4 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 25 February 2013 - 12:16 AM

I think it's rude.

#5 au*lit

Posted 25 February 2013 - 12:17 AM

Unless I was bringing soup or some other helpful thing - no.

Your DH did the right thing by not inviting them in or offering anything.

#6 Jenks

Posted 25 February 2013 - 12:30 AM

Very rude, I bet they wouldn't appreciate it if the situation was around the other way.


#7 JustBeige

Posted 25 February 2013 - 06:53 AM

Yes they are and your DH did the right thing by just having a quick chat at the door.

#8 CallMeFeral

Posted 25 February 2013 - 07:00 AM

I wouldn't expect people to avoid me just for a cold, and no, I wouldn't consider it rude.
As long as they didn't expect me to cook for them or something.



#9 Country (deci)Mel

Posted 25 February 2013 - 07:02 AM

With close friends I visit when they are sick - that way they can loll on the couch/go and have a nap while I feed and wash and entertain their children for a while.

They do the same for me - but it is an established thing in our friendships.

If you turn up expecting to be waited on and entertained then yes it is very rude.


When my Mum was having her cancer treatment she took to simply not answering the door/getting out of bed as she was having so many (caring and well meaning ) visitors and she really just wanted to rest and NOT talk about cancer!
Her close friends knew to a) let themselves in and b) announce "I have a great story!" or "Something hilarious happened yesterday I think you'll enjoy it!" on their way in... and to feed and water themselves!

#10 LynnyP

Posted 25 February 2013 - 07:06 AM

I don't like people dropping in unannounced when I have woken up feeling like I am in a Pepsi Max ad so people dropping in when I am sick are not shown the inside of the door.  I don't know them so I don't know if it is rude or not, they might be like my brother in law and mother who love some company when they are sick.  I certainly wouldn't do it.

#11 MrsLexiK

Posted 25 February 2013 - 07:13 AM

For a cold wouldn't bother me if someone visited and I wouldn't not go some where if the other person had a cold either. I had a very lovely friend come visit me last year when I had whopping cough (after the contiguous period) it was a godsend.

#12 MGB

Posted 25 February 2013 - 08:36 AM

[quote name='CallMeProtart' date='25/02/2013, 08:00 AM' post='15353630']
I wouldn't expect people to avoid me just for a cold, and no, I wouldn't consider it rude.
As long as they didn't expect me to cook for them or something.


^^ This


I probably wouldn't call in on someone who was sick though unless it was to help out.




#13 Therese

Posted 25 February 2013 - 08:44 AM

I think it is rude too.

#14 TheGreenSheep

Posted 25 February 2013 - 08:45 AM

QUOTE (CallMeProtart @ 25/02/2013, 08:00 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I wouldn't expect people to avoid me just for a cold, and no, I wouldn't consider it rude.
As long as they didn't expect me to cook for them or something.


Me too

#15 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 25 February 2013 - 08:50 AM

QUOTE (trishalishous @ 24/02/2013, 11:57 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
WDYT? Would you make a social call to someone who was ill? (as opposed to dropping in to offer a meal or help out with the kids)

No

Have dropped off a meal, etc during a flying stop.  But never walked in expecting a cuppa and a chat

#16 Cranky Kitten

Posted 25 February 2013 - 09:00 AM

I'm a hibernator when I'm sick so I wouldn't dream of calling in on someone else - unless it was to drop off food and then make myself scarce again.

Not sure how I'd react to people rocking up even after I'd said don't come, I'm sick - I'd probably stumble to the door looking terrible and answer with "you just woke me up. Please go away I want to go back to sleep"

#17 archygrouseferal

Posted 25 February 2013 - 09:08 AM

Depends on how bad the cold is.  Often people with colds keep doing what they normally do with a cold, so they may have thought it was that sort of cold?  They may also have thought that your DH meant 'are you worried about catching a cold?', rather than ''go away'.

FTR, I prefer to hibernate with a bad cold.  Often it isn't an option, with friends of our the kids coming and going, and their parents, too, for drop-off and pick-up, so I end up socialising and spreading germs like Typhoid Mary.

#18 jill1972

Posted 25 February 2013 - 09:19 AM

I don't get why they would want to come in & risk catching your illness.  My relatives normally run a mile if we mention we're sick!  They must be really bored.


_________

#19 Poss and Soss

Posted 25 February 2013 - 09:47 AM

I didn't need to get to the when the host is sick. You had me at the visiting unannounced. Unless you're at the door with some groceries or a hot meal then yes it's rude.

#20 Jane Jetson

Posted 25 February 2013 - 10:15 AM

I don't like unannounced visitors full stop, so people showing up when I'm sick would just be an extra helping of rude.

#21 *melrose*

Posted 25 February 2013 - 10:32 AM

No i would never do that! I think they were being really rude.

#22 starfire

Posted 25 February 2013 - 10:49 AM

If the visitor was dropping off soup/food or visiting to help out - then I don't see it as rude.

But if it was just a 'oh hello, we just wanted to drop in to say hi' while knowing that we were sick, I would definitely be peeved off as the last thing I want to do is entertain guests while feeling like death as they can always visit any other time.

Luckily we don't have this problem as everyone always rings or texts us to check beforehand if they are ok to visit. biggrin.gif

#23 Squeekums Da Feral

Posted 25 February 2013 - 10:49 AM

Well I dont like unannounced visitors at all.
I would be furious if someone rocked up while I they knew I was sick and expected a cheery chat and cuppa.

Well I dont like unannounced visitors at all.
I would be furious if someone rocked up while I they knew I was sick and expected a cheery chat and cuppa.

#24 Etcetera

Posted 25 February 2013 - 11:56 AM

I think it's extremely rude.
But then, my mum, dad, sister, BIL and 18mo niece all decided to rock up the day after I got out of hospital with DD. When we were still in bed. And apparently I'm rude and selfish because we made them feel unwelcome.

#25 FeralProudSwahili

Posted 25 February 2013 - 12:04 PM

It's rude and inconsiderate.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

WIN an exclusive performance from Sam Moran!

To celebrate the release of children?s musical series Play Along with Sam, out now on DVD, we?re giving one lucky parent the chance to have Sam perform at their child?s pre-school or day care!

Toddler freed after getting trapped in escalator

A shopping centre escalator needed to be pulled apart to free a toddler's trapped hand.

Why I'm kind of excited about my daughter's nits

Is it weird to say that I am secretly thrilled to find that my daughter Edie has nits?

Baby born at 10:11 on 12-13-14

Well, it's actually 13-12-14 to us over here. But still, Clare Elizabeth Keane's consecutive numerical birth time is pretty special.

On holding tightly and loving fiercely

We can't live in fear. This post is about Christmas and how at this time we should be celebrating life and grateful for what we have: our loved ones who we cherish fiercely.

Babies, relatives and coping with Christmas day

Everyone will love your baby but your baby may not be so happy to be passed around a lot of new people - nor may you want to feed with an audience.

Why I won't be posting pictures of my baby on Facebook

There are pros and cons to this policy.

The myths and truths of gender swaying

Here are a few popular methods hopeful parents-to-be use to try to get a baby of their preferred gender – and what an expert says about whether they really work.

10 easy DIY Christmas decoration ideas

It's officially time to get into the Christmas spirit. Why not branch out when you put up your tree this year and add a personal touch with a few DIY decorations? We've found the perfect easy-to-make ways to put more festive fever into your home.

The dangerous new trend of glucose challenge test refusal

A dangerous trend is seeing more mothers-to-be declining a relatively simple and painless test to check for gestational diabetes.

Office of Fair Trading reveals naughty toys ahead of Christmas

The Office of Fair Trading has pulled seven toys from shelves ahead of Christmas after they fail safety tests.

Video: Baby boy's trouble with twins

These twin girls will no doubt have fun fooling people in years to come, but nobody will be as confused as baby Landon.

Long-term reversible male contraceptive on its way

Men could soon have access to an injectable long-term contraceptive which works in a similar way to a vasectomy but promises to be easily reversed.

'I tried to kill my baby': one mum's story

After bathing and dressing her three-month-old son, Amanda had a rare moment alone with her baby.

Attack of the 'mummy brain'

I feel that almost every day, someone in my life - be they a friend, family member or complete stranger - feels the need to excuse my behaviour as I have other things on my mind.

Mum of baby who fell ill after drinking raw milk speaks out

A Melbourne mother has described how her son turned grey when he became seriously ill after drinking raw milk.

Australian divorce rate lowest since 1976

Modern newlyweds are now well into their 30s and marriage still offers something powerful a new book argues.

The aftermath of a traumatic birth experience

In Australia, 30 per cent of women find their birth experience traumatic, with 6 per cent going on to develop post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Young mum burns 'from inside-out'

A young mum is in intensive care after she took a friend's antibiotic and wound up with an ailment that is burning her body 'from the inside-out'.

The disagreement that can break a relationship

If he doesn't change his mind, all I can hope is that I will. It would be a waste to spend the rest of my marriage mourning a baby that never was.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Co-sleeping or no-sleeping? Mum videos worst nap ever

One mother's futile attempt to sleep in caught on camera in a hilarious - and very cute - video.

Why children misbehave during the festive season

While we all like to imagine the holiday season as being a fun, loving and bonding experience; often our reality is quiet different.

I was fat-shamed by my doctor

The fear of being weighed is the most significant factor in women cancelling medical appointments - and now weight-shaming has happened to me.

End of an era: no more childcare

As we reach the end of 2014, we're closing the book on many things for another year, most notably childcare. Our last child has attended childcare for the very last time.

WIN an exclusive performance from Sam Moran!

To celebrate the release of children?s musical series Play Along with Sam, out now on DVD, we?re giving one lucky parent the chance to have Sam perform at their child?s pre-school or day care!

The 7-year itch is more like the 10-year itch: study

Contrary to popular belief, making it past the seven-year mark doesn't mean your marriage will be smooth sailing from there on.

Should children be forced to sit on Santa's lap?

We teach kids it’s okay to say no if they don’t feel safe, so why do some parents force their children to climb in to Santa's lap?

Stop telling us that parenting gets harder

I’m sure that parenting will get harder. But life isn’t exactly smooth sailing for many of us right now, either.

Baby born weighing almost 14 pounds

Yes, the bouncing baby girl was born by caesarean section. And mum says no more kids.

The dummy debate

I'm the first to admit that when I used to see tiny babies with dummies in their mouths, I thought "Hmm, lazy parenting." And now I apologise.

'I thought I was an only child'

Imagine meeting your double at a school sports event, or regularly being mistaken for someone you haven't met. Separated twins Margaret and Joy tell their story.

Carers admit to force-feeding children

As Sydney grieves the loss of Sydney siege victims Katrina Dawson and Tori Johnson, reports have suggested that both died as heroes.

 

How many weeks til Christmas?

On your To-Do list

Get the "Santa" shopping done without the kids in tow.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.