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visiting unannounced when you know the host is sick

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25 replies to this topic

#1 IShallWearMidnight

Posted 24 February 2013 - 11:57 PM

Normally I dont mind people dropping by.
But I have a bad cold, and despite knowing I was sick, DHs aunty and uncle (his mums brother and sister) dropped by today 'for a cuppa'
I was laying down with DD and DH told them at the door "you know we are sick, right?" and they still invited themselves in.
He didnt offer them drinks, or even a seat, just stood and chatted for a few minutes.
Im so tempted to post on facebook that we have been diagnosed with something nasty, and they need to go get tested now dev (6).gif
WDYT? Would you make a social call to someone who was ill? (as opposed to dropping in to offer a meal or help out with the kids)

#2 *lightning

Posted 25 February 2013 - 12:07 AM

No because we have six people in our household and when one child gets sick it takes weeks to go through them all.

#3 surburbanfunk

Posted 25 February 2013 - 12:12 AM

No I think it's very rude and for them to just ignore your dh is even ruder still. No one wants to entertain ppl when they are sick.

#4 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 25 February 2013 - 12:16 AM

I think it's rude.

#5 au*lit

Posted 25 February 2013 - 12:17 AM

Unless I was bringing soup or some other helpful thing - no.

Your DH did the right thing by not inviting them in or offering anything.

#6 Jenks

Posted 25 February 2013 - 12:30 AM

Very rude, I bet they wouldn't appreciate it if the situation was around the other way.

#7 JustBeige

Posted 25 February 2013 - 06:53 AM

Yes they are and your DH did the right thing by just having a quick chat at the door.

#8 CallMeFeral

Posted 25 February 2013 - 07:00 AM

I wouldn't expect people to avoid me just for a cold, and no, I wouldn't consider it rude.
As long as they didn't expect me to cook for them or something.

#9 HRH Countrymel

Posted 25 February 2013 - 07:02 AM

With close friends I visit when they are sick - that way they can loll on the couch/go and have a nap while I feed and wash and entertain their children for a while.

They do the same for me - but it is an established thing in our friendships.

If you turn up expecting to be waited on and entertained then yes it is very rude.

When my Mum was having her cancer treatment she took to simply not answering the door/getting out of bed as she was having so many (caring and well meaning ) visitors and she really just wanted to rest and NOT talk about cancer!
Her close friends knew to a) let themselves in and b) announce "I have a great story!" or "Something hilarious happened yesterday I think you'll enjoy it!" on their way in... and to feed and water themselves!

#10 LynnyP

Posted 25 February 2013 - 07:06 AM

I don't like people dropping in unannounced when I have woken up feeling like I am in a Pepsi Max ad so people dropping in when I am sick are not shown the inside of the door.  I don't know them so I don't know if it is rude or not, they might be like my brother in law and mother who love some company when they are sick.  I certainly wouldn't do it.

#11 MrsLexiK

Posted 25 February 2013 - 07:13 AM

For a cold wouldn't bother me if someone visited and I wouldn't not go some where if the other person had a cold either. I had a very lovely friend come visit me last year when I had whopping cough (after the contiguous period) it was a godsend.

#12 MGB

Posted 25 February 2013 - 08:36 AM

[quote name='CallMeProtart' date='25/02/2013, 08:00 AM' post='15353630']
I wouldn't expect people to avoid me just for a cold, and no, I wouldn't consider it rude.
As long as they didn't expect me to cook for them or something.

^^ This

I probably wouldn't call in on someone who was sick though unless it was to help out.

#13 Therese

Posted 25 February 2013 - 08:44 AM

I think it is rude too.

#14 TheGreenSheep

Posted 25 February 2013 - 08:45 AM

QUOTE (CallMeProtart @ 25/02/2013, 08:00 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I wouldn't expect people to avoid me just for a cold, and no, I wouldn't consider it rude.
As long as they didn't expect me to cook for them or something.

Me too

#15 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 25 February 2013 - 08:50 AM

QUOTE (trishalishous @ 24/02/2013, 11:57 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
WDYT? Would you make a social call to someone who was ill? (as opposed to dropping in to offer a meal or help out with the kids)


Have dropped off a meal, etc during a flying stop.  But never walked in expecting a cuppa and a chat

#16 Cranky Kitten

Posted 25 February 2013 - 09:00 AM

I'm a hibernator when I'm sick so I wouldn't dream of calling in on someone else - unless it was to drop off food and then make myself scarce again.

Not sure how I'd react to people rocking up even after I'd said don't come, I'm sick - I'd probably stumble to the door looking terrible and answer with "you just woke me up. Please go away I want to go back to sleep"

#17 archythepeasant

Posted 25 February 2013 - 09:08 AM

Depends on how bad the cold is.  Often people with colds keep doing what they normally do with a cold, so they may have thought it was that sort of cold?  They may also have thought that your DH meant 'are you worried about catching a cold?', rather than ''go away'.

FTR, I prefer to hibernate with a bad cold.  Often it isn't an option, with friends of our the kids coming and going, and their parents, too, for drop-off and pick-up, so I end up socialising and spreading germs like Typhoid Mary.

#18 jill1972

Posted 25 February 2013 - 09:19 AM

I don't get why they would want to come in & risk catching your illness.  My relatives normally run a mile if we mention we're sick!  They must be really bored.


#19 Poss and Soss

Posted 25 February 2013 - 09:47 AM

I didn't need to get to the when the host is sick. You had me at the visiting unannounced. Unless you're at the door with some groceries or a hot meal then yes it's rude.

#20 Jane Jetson

Posted 25 February 2013 - 10:15 AM

I don't like unannounced visitors full stop, so people showing up when I'm sick would just be an extra helping of rude.

#21 *melrose*

Posted 25 February 2013 - 10:32 AM

No i would never do that! I think they were being really rude.

#22 starfire

Posted 25 February 2013 - 10:49 AM

If the visitor was dropping off soup/food or visiting to help out - then I don't see it as rude.

But if it was just a 'oh hello, we just wanted to drop in to say hi' while knowing that we were sick, I would definitely be peeved off as the last thing I want to do is entertain guests while feeling like death as they can always visit any other time.

Luckily we don't have this problem as everyone always rings or texts us to check beforehand if they are ok to visit. biggrin.gif

#23 Squeekums Da Feral

Posted 25 February 2013 - 10:49 AM

Well I dont like unannounced visitors at all.
I would be furious if someone rocked up while I they knew I was sick and expected a cheery chat and cuppa.

Well I dont like unannounced visitors at all.
I would be furious if someone rocked up while I they knew I was sick and expected a cheery chat and cuppa.

#24 Etcetera

Posted 25 February 2013 - 11:56 AM

I think it's extremely rude.
But then, my mum, dad, sister, BIL and 18mo niece all decided to rock up the day after I got out of hospital with DD. When we were still in bed. And apparently I'm rude and selfish because we made them feel unwelcome.

#25 FeralProudSwahili

Posted 25 February 2013 - 12:04 PM

It's rude and inconsiderate.

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