Naming after a person/tradition?
, Feb 24 2013 11:14 PM
28 replies to this topic
Posted 24 February 2013 - 11:14 PM
I really love the idea of using the middle name of a child to honor or acknowledge someone in the family. This was easy with DD as "Mae" is the middle name of DH's mother, grandmother and great grandmother and I love the name.
We are expecting another daughter soon and as much as I would like to honor my side of the family this time, I really dislike my mothers names. Sindy is her first name, Susan is middle name. Yuck on both counts.
I am not at all close to either of my grandmothers (barely know them) or any of my aunts so would not use their names either.
DH thinks it doesnt matter if we dont like the name since its only the middle and we should use one of my mum's names anyway. But I'm leaning towards just picking a name we actually like even if it doesn't mean anything....
WDYT? Did anyone use a family name they didn't like and regret it? Or did it never bother you again?
Edited by JBaby, 24 February 2013 - 11:53 PM.
Posted 24 February 2013 - 11:21 PM
Susan is lovely. Classic.
What are your grandmother's names? Even if you were not close, it is still acknowledging your side of the family. What about your name or your middle name as DD2's middle name? Or your maiden name?
Edited by BloomLuka, 24 February 2013 - 11:25 PM.
Posted 24 February 2013 - 11:38 PM
Well I haven't chosen a name I don't like, but I do have one child whose middle name is after an aunt who was very dear to me and one child just has a middle name that I love, not after anyone special. So I think pick whatever you like.
Posted 24 February 2013 - 11:42 PM
I really like Susan but I wouldn't use a name I didn't like.
Posted 24 February 2013 - 11:49 PM
Just a thought, have you considered 'Susannah' instead? It has a certain je ne sais quoi over Susan. Otherwise, I wouldn't worry about and just tell people you picked the name because it was pretty/character in a book etc.
Posted 24 February 2013 - 11:50 PM
I like Susan. If you don't like it, what about Suzanne or Susannah, or another variant?
I like the idea of using family names, but only if you like them.
My DS has a family name as his middle name. It's not a name I would have chosen but it's not awful. More importantly it meant a lot to my DH and ILs.
Most of the children in my extended family have middle names that are family names. I think it's nice to have that connection to generations past.
If we have another child it's likely the middle name will be a family name. The potential only issue I have is that MIL's name is quite long and if we had a daughter I wouldn't want two long given names together.
Posted 24 February 2013 - 11:51 PM
What about Susie?
Or something to do with them eg Sydney, Adelaide, June (if born in those places / month) Etc
Posted 25 February 2013 - 05:55 AM
We have used family names as middle names. DD2 has DH's mother's name. It's not the greatest name but she passed away before we were even married and it was important to him that we honor her and I was happy to do so.
DD1 has a feminine variation of my grandfather's name. Is this something you could consider? Or you could use your mother's or grandmother's maiden name? Or simply use your first/middle name?
Posted 25 February 2013 - 06:04 AM
What about Cynthia, which is kind of like an elongated version of Cindy? It's still kind of honouring her, but not using the exact same name.
Posted 25 February 2013 - 06:18 AM
I like gem girls idea - your mums favourite flower / precious stone / birthplace / birth month.
I certainly couldn't acknowledge one side of the family and not the other.
Posted 25 February 2013 - 06:27 AM
In DH family the first born boy gets the fathers name as a middle name, so we stuck to that with DS. Lucky I like DH's name as a middle name.
In my family, the first born boy has the same name as the father but since I'm not a boy, I'm not following that. My grandfather, father, little brother and his son all have the same name - I think its quite sweet. My mum's side also have a female tradition that the first born girl gets "Elizabeth" as a middle name, and we will follow that if we have a girl.
Posted 25 February 2013 - 06:53 AM
I certainly couldn't acknowledge one side of the family and not the other.
My elder sister has our maternal grandmother's name as her first name and a maternal aunt's name as her second.
I have a maternal aunt's name as my second name.
Our paternal side seemed to cope without any rancour!
I wouldn't use a name you disliked - if you feel you 'must' even the tally sheet (I obviously don't) I would chose something that has meaning (aka gemgirl
's ideas) but isn't the names you don't like.
Imagine trying to explain to your future sulky daughter when she is saying "I HATE my middle name!" and having to reply "Yeah I don't like it either!"
Posted 25 February 2013 - 08:23 AM
My daughters are named after their paternal and maternal grandmothers (middle names).
TBH, I'm not crazy about DD2's middle name (she is named after my mother) and ordinarily , i would never consider it.
However, we (DH and i) wanted to honour the memory of our mothers.
Also, i felt it important to maintain a link with the maternal lines as I took my husband's name upon marriage.
Both names suit the girls - i have no regrets.
Posted 25 February 2013 - 08:28 AM
I don't think the MN needs to be a swoon name but I wouldn't put a name in there that I violently disliked. I would want my side of the family represented somehow though.
I don't like the MN to overshadow or compete with the FN. It is important for me that the two names work together and that the whole thing has some sibling synchronicity.
No other rules! So choose a name that fits well and has the reason that you like it and/or it represents family.
I would look at your own given names and family name. I would also consider:
Phoebe Lucinda = mellifluous
Edited by Gudrun, 25 February 2013 - 08:38 AM.
Posted 25 February 2013 - 08:30 AM
All of our children have middle names that refer to one of their great grandparents. They are not names that I would have chosen if it didn't have family significance.
My children are still youngish but they get a kick out of their names having 'history'.
Posted 25 February 2013 - 08:40 AM
My favourite "long form" for Sindy/Cindy would be Lucinda. Jacinda isn't bad either.
I don't mind Susan - it reminds me of Narnia - but I love Susannah.
I have heard of people honouring their mothers by naming their daughter after her favourite flower. I always assume this counts on her favourite flower being something like Lily or Marguerite, and not Ranunculus or, in my mother's case, probably Hyacinth.
Posted 25 February 2013 - 08:47 AM
DS has a middle name that I am not a fan of. It has been used for the last 3 generations in DH's family, so it was something DH wanted to continue, and it wasn't important enough for me to make it an issue.
Could you use your mum's maiden name as a middle name instead? Or even her married name.
Posted 25 February 2013 - 08:54 AM
I like using family names but wouldn't use a name I hated.
DS1's MN is DH's father's name. I don't love it and it wouldn't have made my Top 100, but it was important to DH. It goes well with his first name and has grown on me.
DS2 has my brother's name as his MN. I love my dad dearly, but couldn't use his name as a middle due to DS2's first name choice.
Posted 25 February 2013 - 09:01 AM
My children have middle names after family members. They are not names I would choose just because but I like them due to the history and so do the children. They have the exact same name even if it is not the traditional spelling, Eg Izobell instead of Isabel. I don't see the point of naming a child after someone if you use a variant or similar name. IMO either do it or don't.
If you don't like the name maybe another way to include your mum is for her to choose the middle name. Come up with a top 5 list of first name / middle name combo's you and DH like and let her choose the combo.
Posted 25 February 2013 - 09:02 AM
My mum, DD and I all share the same middle name, it is my Great Granmother's middle name. I like the connection we all have.
Could your mother's maiden name be used as a middle name? Maiden names as middle names is also quite common in my family tree.
Posted 25 February 2013 - 09:11 AM
Lucky for me my mother and MIL have the same name. It's now DD's middle name and we covered both families in one hit so are safe to use whatever we like for the next baby!
MIL refused to use family names for her kids so that meant we could do the same and she had to right to complain
Posted 25 February 2013 - 09:13 AM
My daughter has her great grandads name which was his fathers name and his grandads name too! I would love to have used either my mothers or grandmothers name as a MN but having ursula or ingaborg would not have matched her first name.
Btw my daughters name is Sydney!
Posted 25 February 2013 - 09:16 AM
DD1 has my mums middle name which is Jane, while I don't love it, it's certainly not a terrible name so when we had DD2 we decided to be fair that she would get MIL's middle name which is Dawn, I really dislike the name for some reason but its never been an issue I just made sure I absolutely loved her first name. Plus side is both Nannas were proud as punch
Posted 25 February 2013 - 09:38 AM
I would like to honour my wonderful mother when/if DP and I have a daughter. She hates her name so I searched for a derivative we could all like, without much luck. Last year my DP starting calling her a nickname - Josie. Well it has really stuck, he calls her this all the time (she lives with us). I asked her if she liked it and she loves it. We all do. The only problem is my DP loves phonetic spelling so he spells it Jozy and he has also gotten my mother attached to that spelling. When I write it down as Josie I get told off.
In summary, can you use a nickname of your mother's (first or middle name or even one that is not related to her name) as a middle name? Other options include using their birth stone or flower as a middle name, a derivative (perhaps an international variation), a long-form version of the name, letting them pick the middle name etc. Good luck and Congratulations OP.
Edited by Neriah, 25 February 2013 - 09:39 AM.
Posted 25 February 2013 - 09:43 AM
We used family names for our children's middle names but only because we actually liked them and wanted to. I wouldn't do it if you didn't like the names unless you felt very strongly that you wanted to honor someone. Or, like PPs said, find a name that is similar, like Lucinda (which is lovely).
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