Jump to content

Would you leave your 9 yo DS at home?


  • Please log in to reply
88 replies to this topic

#1 *JAC*

Posted 24 February 2013 - 10:27 PM

Hi!
We've already made our decision, but was interested in other people's opinion. My son is quite responsible, quiet & generally does the right thing.

He goes to OSHC every day with his younger sister. She has just started playing netball & a friend has kindly offered to take her home after school & then to training where my DH will pick her up (we both work FT so wouldn't be able to get her to training otherwise).

My DS is not happy about having to go to OSHC by himself. The thought occurred to me to let him walk home after school (we live about 50 metres away), and have him stay home alone for just over an hour until DH gets home.

Would you do it or do you think he's too young?

Edited by *JAC*, 24 February 2013 - 10:29 PM.


#2 Feral Grey Mare

Posted 24 February 2013 - 10:34 PM

I still quake when I have to leave Mr 14 at home by himself as he is a walking accident. If your son is sensible and there are neighbours at close call I would consider your plan.

#3 *Finn*

Posted 24 February 2013 - 10:37 PM

Mmmm. Nope I don't think I would. I don't have a 9 year old child, but several good friends do and there is no way i could picture them staying home by themselves. They have only just started to be allowed to ride their bike to school which is no more than 500mt away.

#4 fooiesmum

Posted 24 February 2013 - 10:38 PM

No, I wouldn't.

#5 lucky 2

Posted 24 February 2013 - 10:51 PM

No I wouldn't OP, he'd be going to oshc if he was my child.
I have less of an issue with the 50m walk home than being home alone, it would be too risky for me. No matter how mature a 9 yo is, he or she is still only 9 and if there was a problem at home he could not be expected to handle it like an adult.

#6 newkie

Posted 24 February 2013 - 10:52 PM

Under those circumstances I would consider it, but there would need to be plans in place for if your DH got caught in traffic on the way home, or needed to stop off and get bread etc. An hour would be my own personal limit on alone time for that age, any more would be pushing it.

I do leave my DS (9) alone, but it's just generally the days when I'm picking up and dropping off his sisters to their after school commitments (all in the same suburb as us, so a maximum of 15/20 min round trip). But then I also have the luxury of my best friend living only 5 houses up the street from me, and her husband (my DH's best friend), works from home, so there is almost always someone about.

#7 Jen1

Posted 24 February 2013 - 10:53 PM

No!!  I would not let my 9 year old at home by himself for more than an hour or even less than that!! I would make him go him go to OSHC even if he didn't like it, and explain to him that they will look after him while you are not there.

If you have made the decision for your family, then why would you ask here??  I would not let a 9 year old child at home by themselves, even if it was for 1 hour!

#8 emnut

Posted 24 February 2013 - 10:56 PM

I leave my 9yo for up to an hour home alone but only if I know that our neighbour is home & she is aware that he is home alone (he can go to her place any time & just send me a text to let me know).  He knows to call us if we aren't home by the time we said we would be and also has several alternate numbers to call if he can't get hold of us & is worried.  

It has not been a sudden hour home alone though - has been done over a 12 month period starting with 5 minutes & with testing him with the rules (such as not answering door).

#9 Terri Coverley

Posted 24 February 2013 - 11:03 PM

Not my children when they were nine.

DS1 I would allow to do that when he was 11.

DS2 is likely to be older than 11 when/if. He is a different child to DS1. Always off with his own thoughts with no concern for what's going on around him (oh like cars and roads and people and stuff).

Every kid is different.

#10 Honey Pot

Posted 24 February 2013 - 11:05 PM

I think I would although I don't have kids that age yet. A neighbour of mine is letting her DS do it a couple of days a week (she works part time).  He is in year 5 and there is no option of OSHC. He knows to come to my house if there is any problems or even if he just wants company. A few other neighbours are aware too so we'll all keep an eye out for him.



#11 4kidlets

Posted 24 February 2013 - 11:08 PM

Em nut has a good point - an hour is a long time if he has no previous experience at this.

I think 9 is ok at home alone for short periods but would be starting with shorter times, like 10 minutes at first.

The 50m walk home alone part does not bother me at all.


#12 au*lit

Posted 24 February 2013 - 11:18 PM

It depends entirely on the circumstances. The child, the back-up (neighbours etc.), the likelihood of your or your DH being delayed. So really, it's hard to say one way or the other. But in some circumstances, yes.

#13 FeralLIfeHacker

Posted 24 February 2013 - 11:35 PM

No, I will occasionally leave dd (12) for a very short time and I never feel comfortable. We have crap neighbours though  dry.gif Could he go to training with your dd, hang around, shoot some baskets, then your dh pick him up? or just go to oshc. Has he been before? He might like it. My kids wish they could go to oshc laugh.gif

#14 Feralishous

Posted 24 February 2013 - 11:41 PM

QUOTE (newkie @ 24/02/2013, 08:52 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Under those circumstances I would consider it, but there would need to be plans in place for if your DH got caught in traffic on the way home, or needed to stop off and get bread etc. An hour would be my own personal limit on alone time for that age, any more would be pushing it.

I do leave my DS (9) alone, but it's just generally the days when I'm picking up and dropping off his sisters to their after school commitments (all in the same suburb as us, so a maximum of 15/20 min round trip). But then I also have the luxury of my best friend living only 5 houses up the street from me, and her husband (my DH's best friend), works from home, so there is almost always someone about.

same here. We are close to the school and Id let DD come home alone for 30 mins

#15 SeaPrincess

Posted 24 February 2013 - 11:51 PM

My sister did when she was 9.

It would depend on the child, and you know your own DS best.

#16 jupiter71

Posted 24 February 2013 - 11:59 PM

Yes assuming at least 1 neighbour was going to be home. I would get him to "check in" with the neighbours, and get them to text me if he didn't check in by say 3:30pm.We live regionally, I would be reluctant if I did not get on with the neighbours. I'd give it a trial run first and an absolute must would be that he was competent in using the phone. WE have let DS9  going on 10 stay home for short periods of time for the last couple of years. My opinion is that kids need to be eased into taking responsibility, you start with short periods of time, and work up.

#17 Expelliarmus

Posted 25 February 2013 - 12:30 AM

No. My 9yo DS who I leave alone for half an hourish would not be walking home and staying for an hour alone. I do not consider that until they are 12.

My DS would get a 'too bad, so sad, you're going to OSHC' response.

Edited by howdo, 25 February 2013 - 12:31 AM.


#18 ~ky~

Posted 25 February 2013 - 12:36 AM

I would and have done. My kids are sensible and we also know all of our neighbours well. I inform one particular neighbour that they will be home alone and as they never go anywhere straight after school (they have two very young children), they are happy for him to come over if he is in any way concerned.

DS just goes inside, gets an apple from the fridge then sits down and watches TV or reads a book. He is so predictable that you can set your clock by him.

Being a FIFO family and having to drop my DH at the airport an hour away at 3pm, I am late home every third thursday. The kids have been perfectly fine. They are now 10yo and 12yo so a little older now.

If I didn't know I could trust them, then they would be going to a neighbours house. They have never given me reason not to trust them.

#19 Fr0g

Posted 25 February 2013 - 06:17 AM

No, I wouldn't do it. My DS (nearly 12) gets himself home 1 or 2 times a week (approx 2km) and is alone for about an hour then. DD goes to OSHC on those days.

I think we started half hour stints at about 10.

Is netball once a week? I'd tell your son to suck it up, he won't be the only 'big kid' in OSHC original.gif



#20 #tootired

Posted 25 February 2013 - 06:21 AM

I would and I do.

#21 Julie3Girls

Posted 25 February 2013 - 06:32 AM

I'd consider it.

Are your talking about 1 or 2 days a week?

I'd have a policy of calling me or dh when he first gets home, just as a check.  Wouldn't really have a problem with an hr time frame.

My 9yr old dd is just starting to spend time at home when I go and drop off her sisters at dance, or if she is home sick ill leave her on the lounge while I do school drop off.  We have ground rules, what to do if its an emergency etc.  and I trust my girls.  My dd1 started with short amounts of time around age 9.

Walking home and doing an hr alone ... If you had been leaving him on his own for short amounts of time leading up to it, and you were both comfortable, I don't see too much of a problem.  
But not if it was everyday of the week.

Oh, and I wouldn't be using the neighbours as a check in ... That is relying on the neighbours to always be home and I don't think that is fair on them.  I would have the neighbours  phone numbers, and if my child didn't check in with personally, I'd be able to ring them and see if someone was home to check on him though.


Edited cause of stupid autocorrect on iPad laughing2.gif

Edited by Julie3Girls, 25 February 2013 - 07:08 AM.


#22 hm6

Posted 25 February 2013 - 06:40 AM

It's not the the being home alone that would worrying nor the fairly short walk - but the combined issue of walking home and then entering an empty house that would make me really think about it. Yes I know neighbours are close by and as neighbours we are all keen to help out but ultimately it isnt the neighbours responsibility to keep your DS safe. After all presumably she/he has a life too. In the end you've made your decision and I would assume you have thought through all the ifs and buts and if you are still ok then that's fine. A 9 yo is still fairly young but it depends on your circumstances.

#23 ~Supernova~

Posted 25 February 2013 - 06:42 AM

QUOTE (Julie3Girls @ 25/02/2013, 07:32 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I would have the newborns phone numbers


Kids are getting phones earlier and earlier these days! Tounge1.gif

I'd also consider it. I'm not so keen on the walking home bit then being alone though. Although having a phone would help to alleviate my concerns.

DD8 was home by herself for the first time last week. She was tired and feeling sick, and I had to get some essentials from the shop. Was gone about a half hour. She laid on the couch and read a book, but she is a quiet, trustworthy kid. So...I guess it would also depend on the child.


#24 DEVOCEAN

Posted 25 February 2013 - 06:46 AM

If the neighbour is home, why can't he just go over there instead of being home alone?

I would never leave a 9yr old home alone for any reason. You may think they are responsible etc., but at that age anything can happen to throw a spanner in the works. If it did, you would also open yourself up to DOCS being called in because he is only 9yrs old.

#25 Super Cat

Posted 25 February 2013 - 06:48 AM

No not at all. Responsible kid or not.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Video: 10-week-old baby sounds like she says 'I love you'

It’s mixed in amongst garbled baby talk, but this 10-week-old's apparent attempt at telling her parents that she loves them has made her an internet star.

I only enjoyed pregnancy after booking my caesarean

To say I became obsessed is something of an understatement. Everywhere I went I found cause to be reminded of my impending pain.

When your bundle doesn't bring immediate joy

One mum says joy is very a personal feeling and expecting all new mums to feel it in the months after their baby born may do more harm than good.

Lessons learned from my toddler

Blogger Kiran Chug explains why she is going to let her toddler make more decisions for himself.

Family welcomes first baby girl in more than 100 years

The Silverton family has heard the phrase "it's a girl" for the first time in four generations.

When a community of kindness steps in

In future when someone I care for, or even someone I barely know, is experiencing a difficult time, I will not overthink it. I'll follow my heart.

Mum in Business: Jac Bowie

Jac Bowie is the founder of Business in Heels, one of the fastest growing women’s networking events in Australia. She shares her story, including how she juggles work with a young family, and ways to work smarter.

What not to say to a mum of twins

Being a mum of identical twin boys stirs up great interest and fascination. It also opens itself up to nosy, invasive questions, as well as huge assumptions.

The mums suing over unplanned babies

A mother-of-five who calls her two youngest sons "miracle babies" is just one of many mums seeking financial compensation for their children's unplanned conceptions.

Video: Dad sings 'Hallelujah' to his daughter every year

It's a gorgeous song to begin with, but this dad's version of Hallelujah, sung for his young daughter, is especially touching.

Constipation in babies when starting solids

While starting solids can be frustrating and messy (yet also fun!), introducing solids can also play havoc on tiny digestive systems.

Parents reunited with baby snatched from hospital

A mother whose newborn baby was snatched from hospital has spoken of her joy and relief at getting her daughter back.

In defence of the bumpie

Are bumpies - bump selfies - really "exhibitionism of the weirdest kind"?

Life on the other side of the fence: Why I'm child-free and quite content

Acknowledging that motherhood isn't a bed of roses – to begrudge lack of time, sleep, money and spontaneity – is sacrilegious and a no-no, especially by mother superior-types.

'Go the F*** to Sleep' author's new book for frustrated parents

A sequel is coming soon to the 2011 hit book 'Go the F*** to Sleep' - and this time, it's about mealtimes.

Win a $200 Pumpkin Patch voucher

Fill out this quick survey and tell us in 25 words or less your best pregnancy or parenting tip - you'll go in the draw to win a $200 Pumpkin Patch voucher.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Losing yourself to motherhood

While watching your baby grow into a unique little person is exciting and wondrous, the intensity of meeting everyone else?s needs can ever so sneakily overtake your own needs for self-care.

Tearing during delivery: the facts

Almost all women will experience bruising, grazing or tearing after a vaginal birth. Depending on the degree of tearing, there are various treatments available.

6 tips for a day out with a baby and toddler

Outings can be lots of fun with the kids, but there are inevitable challenges. Here's some information about days out to help you be a little more prepared.

Why I invited a dozen people to watch my son's birth

I sent invitations on burgundy scrapbooking paper stamped with a field of poppies, and told each person why I wanted him or her there. I warned that there would be nudity.

Getting labour started: tips for a natural induction

When your baby?s due date comes and goes without so much as a pop - let alone a bang - it can be disheartening. Mums and a doula share their stories of natural inductions.

7 mistakes old hands make with new babies

As I sat across the table from my friend ? me, a seasoned mother of three; her, a brand new mum ? I thought of all the mistakes an old-hand parent can make when visiting a newborn baby.

That's my boy: a dad's diary of the first 4 months

Unbearable anxiety, unspeakable joy, constant exhaustion and bouts of frustration ... The many shocks of first-time fatherhood resound in a dad's diary of his son's early months.

One of the most important things a new mum can do

Finances may not be as cute as a newborn, but with many women?s working arrangements changing post-baby, monetary matters need attention too.

In defence of the bumpie

Are bumpies really "exhibitionism of the weirdest kind", as one writer has claimed?

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

 

My Wellbeing

Making time for me

We look at your wellbeing, covering health, relationships, beauty and fashion, mind and body.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.