Jump to content

Would you leave your 9 yo DS at home?


  • Please log in to reply
88 replies to this topic

#1 *JAC*

Posted 24 February 2013 - 10:27 PM

Hi!
We've already made our decision, but was interested in other people's opinion. My son is quite responsible, quiet & generally does the right thing.

He goes to OSHC every day with his younger sister. She has just started playing netball & a friend has kindly offered to take her home after school & then to training where my DH will pick her up (we both work FT so wouldn't be able to get her to training otherwise).

My DS is not happy about having to go to OSHC by himself. The thought occurred to me to let him walk home after school (we live about 50 metres away), and have him stay home alone for just over an hour until DH gets home.

Would you do it or do you think he's too young?

Edited by *JAC*, 24 February 2013 - 10:29 PM.


#2 Lady Grey-Mare

Posted 24 February 2013 - 10:34 PM

I still quake when I have to leave Mr 14 at home by himself as he is a walking accident. If your son is sensible and there are neighbours at close call I would consider your plan.

#3 *Finn*

Posted 24 February 2013 - 10:37 PM

Mmmm. Nope I don't think I would. I don't have a 9 year old child, but several good friends do and there is no way i could picture them staying home by themselves. They have only just started to be allowed to ride their bike to school which is no more than 500mt away.

#4 fooiesmum

Posted 24 February 2013 - 10:38 PM

No, I wouldn't.

#5 lucky 2

Posted 24 February 2013 - 10:51 PM

No I wouldn't OP, he'd be going to oshc if he was my child.
I have less of an issue with the 50m walk home than being home alone, it would be too risky for me. No matter how mature a 9 yo is, he or she is still only 9 and if there was a problem at home he could not be expected to handle it like an adult.

#6 newkie

Posted 24 February 2013 - 10:52 PM

Under those circumstances I would consider it, but there would need to be plans in place for if your DH got caught in traffic on the way home, or needed to stop off and get bread etc. An hour would be my own personal limit on alone time for that age, any more would be pushing it.

I do leave my DS (9) alone, but it's just generally the days when I'm picking up and dropping off his sisters to their after school commitments (all in the same suburb as us, so a maximum of 15/20 min round trip). But then I also have the luxury of my best friend living only 5 houses up the street from me, and her husband (my DH's best friend), works from home, so there is almost always someone about.

#7 Jen1

Posted 24 February 2013 - 10:53 PM

No!!  I would not let my 9 year old at home by himself for more than an hour or even less than that!! I would make him go him go to OSHC even if he didn't like it, and explain to him that they will look after him while you are not there.

If you have made the decision for your family, then why would you ask here??  I would not let a 9 year old child at home by themselves, even if it was for 1 hour!

#8 emnut

Posted 24 February 2013 - 10:56 PM

I leave my 9yo for up to an hour home alone but only if I know that our neighbour is home & she is aware that he is home alone (he can go to her place any time & just send me a text to let me know).  He knows to call us if we aren't home by the time we said we would be and also has several alternate numbers to call if he can't get hold of us & is worried.  

It has not been a sudden hour home alone though - has been done over a 12 month period starting with 5 minutes & with testing him with the rules (such as not answering door).

#9 Terri Coverley

Posted 24 February 2013 - 11:03 PM

Not my children when they were nine.

DS1 I would allow to do that when he was 11.

DS2 is likely to be older than 11 when/if. He is a different child to DS1. Always off with his own thoughts with no concern for what's going on around him (oh like cars and roads and people and stuff).

Every kid is different.

#10 Honey Pot

Posted 24 February 2013 - 11:05 PM

I think I would although I don't have kids that age yet. A neighbour of mine is letting her DS do it a couple of days a week (she works part time).  He is in year 5 and there is no option of OSHC. He knows to come to my house if there is any problems or even if he just wants company. A few other neighbours are aware too so we'll all keep an eye out for him.



#11 Imaginary friend

Posted 24 February 2013 - 11:08 PM

Em nut has a good point - an hour is a long time if he has no previous experience at this.

I think 9 is ok at home alone for short periods but would be starting with shorter times, like 10 minutes at first.

The 50m walk home alone part does not bother me at all.


#12 au*lit

Posted 24 February 2013 - 11:18 PM

It depends entirely on the circumstances. The child, the back-up (neighbours etc.), the likelihood of your or your DH being delayed. So really, it's hard to say one way or the other. But in some circumstances, yes.

#13 FeralLIfeHacker

Posted 24 February 2013 - 11:35 PM

No, I will occasionally leave dd (12) for a very short time and I never feel comfortable. We have crap neighbours though  dry.gif Could he go to training with your dd, hang around, shoot some baskets, then your dh pick him up? or just go to oshc. Has he been before? He might like it. My kids wish they could go to oshc laugh.gif

#14 IShallWearMidnight

Posted 24 February 2013 - 11:41 PM

QUOTE (newkie @ 24/02/2013, 08:52 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Under those circumstances I would consider it, but there would need to be plans in place for if your DH got caught in traffic on the way home, or needed to stop off and get bread etc. An hour would be my own personal limit on alone time for that age, any more would be pushing it.

I do leave my DS (9) alone, but it's just generally the days when I'm picking up and dropping off his sisters to their after school commitments (all in the same suburb as us, so a maximum of 15/20 min round trip). But then I also have the luxury of my best friend living only 5 houses up the street from me, and her husband (my DH's best friend), works from home, so there is almost always someone about.

same here. We are close to the school and Id let DD come home alone for 30 mins

#15 SeaPrincess

Posted 24 February 2013 - 11:51 PM

My sister did when she was 9.

It would depend on the child, and you know your own DS best.

#16 jupiter71

Posted 24 February 2013 - 11:59 PM

Yes assuming at least 1 neighbour was going to be home. I would get him to "check in" with the neighbours, and get them to text me if he didn't check in by say 3:30pm.We live regionally, I would be reluctant if I did not get on with the neighbours. I'd give it a trial run first and an absolute must would be that he was competent in using the phone. WE have let DS9  going on 10 stay home for short periods of time for the last couple of years. My opinion is that kids need to be eased into taking responsibility, you start with short periods of time, and work up.

#17 Expelliarmus

Posted 25 February 2013 - 12:30 AM

No. My 9yo DS who I leave alone for half an hourish would not be walking home and staying for an hour alone. I do not consider that until they are 12.

My DS would get a 'too bad, so sad, you're going to OSHC' response.

Edited by howdo, 25 February 2013 - 12:31 AM.


#18 ~ky~

Posted 25 February 2013 - 12:36 AM

I would and have done. My kids are sensible and we also know all of our neighbours well. I inform one particular neighbour that they will be home alone and as they never go anywhere straight after school (they have two very young children), they are happy for him to come over if he is in any way concerned.

DS just goes inside, gets an apple from the fridge then sits down and watches TV or reads a book. He is so predictable that you can set your clock by him.

Being a FIFO family and having to drop my DH at the airport an hour away at 3pm, I am late home every third thursday. The kids have been perfectly fine. They are now 10yo and 12yo so a little older now.

If I didn't know I could trust them, then they would be going to a neighbours house. They have never given me reason not to trust them.

#19 Fr0g

Posted 25 February 2013 - 06:17 AM

No, I wouldn't do it. My DS (nearly 12) gets himself home 1 or 2 times a week (approx 2km) and is alone for about an hour then. DD goes to OSHC on those days.

I think we started half hour stints at about 10.

Is netball once a week? I'd tell your son to suck it up, he won't be the only 'big kid' in OSHC original.gif



#20 #tootired

Posted 25 February 2013 - 06:21 AM

I would and I do.

#21 Julie3Girls

Posted 25 February 2013 - 06:32 AM

I'd consider it.

Are your talking about 1 or 2 days a week?

I'd have a policy of calling me or dh when he first gets home, just as a check.  Wouldn't really have a problem with an hr time frame.

My 9yr old dd is just starting to spend time at home when I go and drop off her sisters at dance, or if she is home sick ill leave her on the lounge while I do school drop off.  We have ground rules, what to do if its an emergency etc.  and I trust my girls.  My dd1 started with short amounts of time around age 9.

Walking home and doing an hr alone ... If you had been leaving him on his own for short amounts of time leading up to it, and you were both comfortable, I don't see too much of a problem.  
But not if it was everyday of the week.

Oh, and I wouldn't be using the neighbours as a check in ... That is relying on the neighbours to always be home and I don't think that is fair on them.  I would have the neighbours  phone numbers, and if my child didn't check in with personally, I'd be able to ring them and see if someone was home to check on him though.


Edited cause of stupid autocorrect on iPad laughing2.gif

Edited by Julie3Girls, 25 February 2013 - 07:08 AM.


#22 hm6

Posted 25 February 2013 - 06:40 AM

It's not the the being home alone that would worrying nor the fairly short walk - but the combined issue of walking home and then entering an empty house that would make me really think about it. Yes I know neighbours are close by and as neighbours we are all keen to help out but ultimately it isnt the neighbours responsibility to keep your DS safe. After all presumably she/he has a life too. In the end you've made your decision and I would assume you have thought through all the ifs and buts and if you are still ok then that's fine. A 9 yo is still fairly young but it depends on your circumstances.

#23 ~Supernova~

Posted 25 February 2013 - 06:42 AM

QUOTE (Julie3Girls @ 25/02/2013, 07:32 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I would have the newborns phone numbers


Kids are getting phones earlier and earlier these days! Tounge1.gif

I'd also consider it. I'm not so keen on the walking home bit then being alone though. Although having a phone would help to alleviate my concerns.

DD8 was home by herself for the first time last week. She was tired and feeling sick, and I had to get some essentials from the shop. Was gone about a half hour. She laid on the couch and read a book, but she is a quiet, trustworthy kid. So...I guess it would also depend on the child.


#24 DEVOCEAN

Posted 25 February 2013 - 06:46 AM

If the neighbour is home, why can't he just go over there instead of being home alone?

I would never leave a 9yr old home alone for any reason. You may think they are responsible etc., but at that age anything can happen to throw a spanner in the works. If it did, you would also open yourself up to DOCS being called in because he is only 9yrs old.

#25 Super Cat

Posted 25 February 2013 - 06:48 AM

No not at all. Responsible kid or not.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Ada Nicodemou: 'I can never be completely happy again'

Home and Away actress Ada Nicodemou has opened up about the loss of her stillborn baby.

10 things to consider when you're thinking about trying for a baby

Before you start tracking your menstrual cycle and reading up on the best positions to get pregnant, there are a few other things you may want to consider.

Baby Gammy's dad tries to claim charity money

The biological father of baby Gammy has reportedly tried to access charity money raised for the little boy's medical costs.

How special surgery and IVF can create a post-vasectomy baby

Cricket legend Glenn McGrath and his second wife Sara are expecting their first child together, thanks to IVF and a delicate surgical sperm retrieval process that helped the couple to conceive.

Belle Gibson's mother 'disgusted and embarrassed'

The mother of disgraced wellness blogger Belle Gibson has accused her daughter of lying about her childhood in an attempt to garner public sympathy.

Life On Mars

It's men who need 'retraining', not women

We are all responsible for our own behaviour. Telling victims to harden up is wrong.

Doctor's mobile phone 'left inside c-section mum'

A new mum claims a doctor left his mobile phone inside her after delivering her baby via caesarean section.

I'm a mum and I'm following my dreams

I want my kids to know that no matter what happens in life, you can still be who it is that you've always wanted to be.

Those first daycare days

I had this innate 'mum' moment the other day.

'If one person had listened, my life would have been so different'

Katherine's father will die in prison for the horrifying sexual abuse of his daughter. Yet she is the one with the true life sentence.

Couple to celebrate terminally ill baby's birthday in unique way

Baby Jai Bishop has lived at Starship Hospital for the past seven months, with his parents flying back and forth from Hokitika, 1100km away, to be by his side.

This new plan undermines breastfeeding and baby health at everyone's expense

Mothers, babies, the health system and the wider society are going to pay the price of this new budget.

Trying to understand why your baby is upset

Working out what?s underlying your baby's fussiness can be a case of trial and error. Here are a few common causes and how you can remedy each one.

When those you love judge your parenting

In today's society, never has it been harder to parent without judgment. But what about when judgment is coming from closer to home?

Don't play the victim blame game with family violence

It's not a woman's job to teach violent men how to behave.

11 truths about having two under two

When I told my mothers? group that my husband and I had started trying for our second baby they told me I was crazy. Now I can see why.

'How do you say goodbye to someone you've only just started to get to know?'

New mum Sarah Sutton was faced with a shattering scenario no person should have to endure.

It's a ... boy! Couple welcomes son number 13

"It's a boy!" That's the phrase Kateri Schwandt has heard in labour delivery ward for the 13th time in her life.

Six reasons to go for a walk

Can't find time to get to the gym? It could be just as beneficial to put your baby in the stroller and go for a walk.

Seven questions you should be asking about your health cover

If the last time you assessed your health cover was five years ago, there?s a chance it may no longer suit your needs. To ensure it?s still right for your family, click here for seven questions to ask.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Where are the childcare places?

It?s all very well to encourage women to work if they choose to, but how can the measures lead to increased workforce participation when women are once again left holding the baby?

The pain of not having babies and not knowing why

After seven years of wishing, hoping, crying, punching pillows and shouting "why me?!", the end result is more than I ever thought possible.

Getting your family finances in order

Whether you're after a new car for a growing family, a bigger house, or are just fixing up your finances, here are the basics on borrowing.

Mum shares graphic selfie to warn against tanning

A mum has shared a graphic photo of her skin cancer treatment as a warning to others.

Does parenthood make us happier?

We can certainly gain higher levels of happiness when we become parents, but the trick is to not get overwhelmed by the pressures of raising our kids.

No, having a dog is not like having a human child

It's obvious these people dote on their pets, but they're barking up the wrong tree.

Toddler styling

Seven things my toddler taught me about my home

My standards at home were never that high but having a two-year-old has taught me to be cool with chaos.

Australia's top baby names of 2014

The numbers have been crunched and it's official: Australian parents are having a bit of an 'O' moment.

How to set up the perfect nursery for your baby

You'll soon be meeting your baby, but you've got one big task to get done first: setting up a comfy, calming nursery you'll both be able to enjoy.

Childcare rebate: tougher rules for stay-at-home mums

A new form of activity testing will be introduced to ensure the highest subsidies go to parents who contribute the most to the workforce.

The women who desperately need more support in pregnancy

For women suffering from chronic morning sickness or hyperemesis gravidarum, pregnancy can be the roller coaster from hell.

When labour doesn't happen and you're induced

I never actually went into labour - so by 42 weeks I was booked in for induction.

Mum's grief for triplets inspires change

The death of Sophie Smith's triplet baby boys has motivated the half-marathon mother and her team to raise $1.25 million for charity.

The best advice for treating head lice

Just like a horror movie ... THEY'RE BAAAAAACK. So what works in treating and avoiding head lice and nits?

Overdue and over it

A watched womb never labours ... or at least mine didn't.

Parenting an early walker

Watching your child take their first wobbly steps is one of the best parenting highs you'll ever experience. But with that high comes a new reality.

Baby-led weaning worked for us

My baby wasn't interested in food - until we tried something new. Now she's eating it all, and it often comes from my plate.

'Paralysed bride' becomes a mum

Rachelle Friedman Chapman was preparing to marry the man of her dreams when tragedy struck four years ago.

 

Top baby names

Baby Names

The numbers are in and we can now bring you the 2014 top baby name list for Australia.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.