Jump to content

How would you reply?


  • Please log in to reply
14 replies to this topic

#1 *-*

Posted 24 February 2013 - 04:35 PM

I need a little help original.gif

I received an email from my employer today (small business, less than 20 staff) - Lovely lady, in her mid 60's - DH also works for this company.  My employers grand daughter is our childrens baby sitter.  We regularly have her on a Monday after school, to sit the children.  This is not a love job, it's a paid job.

Anyway, one of the paragraphs in the email stated:

"Would you be able to work later on Tuesday?? Do you want to see if H is free?"

Now, rightly or wrongly, this has gotten my back up a little.  

The baby sitting is an agreement between H and us - not our employer, despite her being the grandmother.

Secondly, by her "offering" H's services, she is assuming that I can work should my kids be taken care of, and that I can afford to pay her.

The simple fact is, I cannot afford to pay the sitter for those extra hours (my hours will be juggled, so  I wont be working/paid for extra hours) - but I need a tactful way to advise her of this, and also advise her that the care arrangements of my children, and My availability to work is my responsibility, not hers.

Can anyone offer any suggestions?


#2 PatG

Posted 24 February 2013 - 04:43 PM

Hmm, I'm not sure.  

Saying you can't work the alternate hours is pretty straightforward (and you don't have to give a reason, if she presses I guess you could say prior family commitments).

Can you tell her something about H being an independent young lady who wouldn't like to think that her family had any influence on her work, therefore please don't discuss your childcare arrangements with her?

#3 Cat People

Posted 24 February 2013 - 04:46 PM

If it's a once off, I would leave off any reference to H being available.  Sounds like she was just being nice, although inappropriate.  As for the rest, I would say I had a prior arrangement.

#4 FeralHez

Posted 24 February 2013 - 04:52 PM

What Madam Protart said.

#5 Mianta

Posted 24 February 2013 - 05:01 PM

Is there more to this situation? Is she generally a bit overbearing as an employer?

Tbh, I think you are over thinking it a bit. She sounds like she is trying to make it a win win situation. She sees that her grand daughter can babysit for you, you get to work and make money, she gets the shift covered.

Just decline politely. No need to over analyse the situation.



#6 Escapin

Posted 24 February 2013 - 05:02 PM

Unless you can use it as an opportunity to ask for a pay rise (so that it would be worth it to work Tues arvo) then I think M.Protart's response is the way to go.

#7 *-*

Posted 24 February 2013 - 05:28 PM

QUOTE (Mianta @ 24/02/2013, 06:01 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Is there more to this situation? Is she generally a bit overbearing as an employer?


There is more - there always is, isn't there?  

It would take me a long time to type it all out but to best sum it up, I think I need to put my foot down a little now.  I get paid for 20 hours a week, but of late, I am working more and more hours... these get written in a book - for me to use in lieu.  This doesn't bother me, it works well, I prefer to know my incommings and outgoings each week.  Only, I'm not getting the opportunity to use the "in lieu" hours... there is always something happening.

Generally speaking, her heart is in the right spot, but she has a bit of a habit of rail roading, and of late, she has been taking a lot of time out for herself - leaving me to hold the fort (as I am the only one left in the office some times, with no key to lock the door and divert the phone).  And quite frankly, I am starting to feel a little used.  

So, I need to be polite, but firm in my answer.  



#8 Madnesscraves

Posted 24 February 2013 - 05:35 PM

Dear X,

Due to prior commitments on this day, I am unable to work. Thanks for the offer. Ill see you on X day.

Regards, YZ.

She really does not need to know what these commitments are. As an employer, it's none of her businesses.


Edited by Madnesscraves, 24 February 2013 - 05:39 PM.


#9 Agnodice the Feral

Posted 24 February 2013 - 05:41 PM

Even with the extra info, I'm not seeing the huge issue.

I think it was a throwaway line, not some deeply manipulative suggestion that you can't manage your family or should hire her granddaughter for longer hours.

#10 Mrs Mc

Posted 24 February 2013 - 05:47 PM

It probably was a genuine offer, but I can see where you are coming from.   Can you use this opportunity to ask if it's possible to get paid some of you TIL hours. We do this for my staff.  
I would say, I can work this Tuesday but have been meaning to discus the amount of TIL I have built up as seeing as we are so busy would it be possible if I "cashed " some in, this would certainly help me cover the cost of H babysitting

Sincer her email wasn't very formal I work respond on the same level and not make it a formal response.

#11 LambChop

Posted 24 February 2013 - 07:24 PM

I would handle it quite differently than others have said, I would say

"Can you please confirm that you are offering me a permanent increase of hours on top of my 20 hours a week to stay longer on Tuesdays ?  This allows me to determine whether I can afford the extra care I would need for the children in order to be available".



#12 BornToLove

Posted 24 February 2013 - 07:40 PM

I would send a brief message back declining to work Tuesday by email tonight (PPs wording was perfect).

The next time you are in I would have a further conversation about your work hours and how best to handle the changes in workflow so that there is sufficient coverage when she needs to take time away from the business.

#13 Feralishous

Posted 25 February 2013 - 01:31 AM

QUOTE (Madame Protart @ 24/02/2013, 02:46 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
If it's a once off, I would leave off any reference to H being available.  Sounds like she was just being nice, although inappropriate.  As for the rest, I would say I had a prior arrangement.

This. and if she pressed about the 'engagement' Id reply "we take 'boardgame tuesdays' very seriously in our family!"

#14 madmother

Posted 25 February 2013 - 04:43 AM

I like Lambchop's response, but only if you want the extra permanently (never ask for what you could well be granted if you don't want it), otherwise Madnesscraves is right. No need to elaborate, your private business is just that, private.

I would also start submitting the in lieu leave. Just little by little. Use it for appointments or whatever, again, you do not need to explain as you are entitled to it, but it may mean better relations if you offered a reason.

Another thought: let it accumulate and take it like annual leave like in one block?

Edited by madmother, 25 February 2013 - 04:43 AM.


#15 *-*

Posted 26 February 2013 - 01:00 PM

Well.. Here I am, at work.

Thanks for the advice.  It was more wording I needed help with.

As luck would have it - Babysitter was sick yesterday, so have worked 9-3 Yesterday and today (School hours, and kids are in School) - And just told her I had other commitments.  

Once at work today, I mentioned that while I was thankful for the offer, it would be a best for me to organise care for my children, and that an answer of "no" didn't always mean it was a child care issue (her look was perplexed with this one LOL).





1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Clever panda fakes pregnancy

News that a giant panda was pregnant prompted much excitement, but it appears there were never any cubs on the way.

'I survived placenta percreta'

When writing her birth plan, Simone Pavil included an item most women wouldn?t even think about: what should happen if she was put on life support. The mum had the potentially fatal condition placenta accreta.

Managing personal space as a mum

In the midst of the early parenting years, our bodies and minds can seemingly be overtaken by our offspring. How can we balance our need for personal space with the needs of our children?

'If love could have saved you, you'd have never left'

The words "spontaneous abortion" on the hospital paperwork really got to me. My baby died; I didn't spontaneously decide to abort him.

15 classic Aussie ads

Watch some of the classic Australian ads of the 80s, 90s and 00s, and remember the catchphrases and jingles we all used to know so well ...

For and against

Should Blue Ivy have been at the VMAs?

Many were quick to condemn Beyonce and Jay Z after appearing on stage at the MTV Video Music Awards with their two-year-old daughter, but others thought it was a sweet family moment. What do you think?

Toddler attacked at gym creche

Two-year-old girl Eva Ness was left with a black eye and bite marks on her face and body after an altercation with an older child at a health club's child-minding facilities. Now her parents are calling for the centre to be closed.

Pregnancy a tricky matter of timing for FIFO couples

Manipulating rosters, coordinating 'conjugal' visits, working on site with your partner; getting pregnant can prove stressful for FIFO workers.

WIN a $100 RedBalloon for Dad

Enter now for your chance to win 1 of 5 $100 RedBalloon experience vouchers. Helping you make Dad's Day EXTRA HAPPY.

Carseats have twice as many germs as a toilet

Most parents know their child's carseat is not always squeaky clean, but they might not realise just how dirty it really is.

Doctors remove foetus from 'medical marvel' after 36 years

Doctors in India have removed the skeleton of a foetus that had been inside a woman for 36 years.

Nine months in six seconds: new parents' Vine clip a hit

We?ve seen some memorable time-lapse pregnancy and birth announcement videos before. Now one new couple has taken it to the extreme, capturing it all in just a six-second Vine video.

Sonia Kruger speaks of baby joy

Celebrity mum-to-be Sonia Kruger has spoken candidly about using donor eggs and IVF to fall pregnant at age 48.

Dressing to not impress: life through the eyes of a three-year-old

When it comes to getting dressed, my three-year-old has only one criterion: ?I don?t want to look beautiful.? And now I've worked out why.

Special nappies made with love for angel babies

Angel Baby Nappies make and provide tiny bereavement cloth nappies for pre-term stillborn babies and premature babies who pass away in the NICU.

Inside the brain of a tantruming toddler

What's going on in your child's mind in the lead-up to a tantrum? And what?s the best way to respond?

5 secrets to a long-lasting relationship

When it comes to keeping your relationship strong, it?s what you do - and not what you want - that really matters.

When 'furbabies' meet real babies

I am obsessed with my dogs, and can't imagine loving them any less once my baby arrives. But that doesn't stop everyone from telling me I will.

The least popular baby names of 2013

Looking for a baby name that?s nowhere near the top 10 ? or even the top 1000? Try the bottom five.

'I was so sleep deprived I crashed my car'

There are no laws regulating driving while tired, but statistics show that driver fatigue is one of the top three contributors to the road toll.

Win back some precious time and get FREE coupons

Membership to eBay's Bubs? Corner is free and includes a $10 coupon to spend on nappies each month - a win for multitasking mums!

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

WIN a $100 RedBalloon for Dad

Enter now for your chance to win 1 of 5 $100 RedBalloon experience vouchers. Helping you make Dad's Day EXTRA HAPPY.

Win back some precious time and get FREE coupons

Membership to eBay's Bubs? Corner is free and includes a $10 coupon to spend on nappies each month - a win for multitasking mums!

Do you suffer from Precious Firstborn Syndrome?

Testing ?no more tears? shampoo in your own eyes, warming cucumber sticks so they're not cold straight from the fridge, waking a sleeping baby to check they?re still breathing: these are all symptoms of Precious Firstborn Syndrome.

Ezra's tragic death not in vain, mum says

Little Ezra was a "Harry Houdini" who loved trying to escape the family home. Now, after his tragic death, his parents are doing what they can to help others.

7 mistakes old hands make with new babies

As I sat across the table from my friend ? me, a seasoned mother of three; her, a brand new mum ? I thought of all the mistakes an old-hand parent can make when visiting a newborn baby.

Video: When adults act like children

Ever wondered what would happen if adults were allowed to act like children? This dad's hilarious video clip will give you an idea of what life would be like.

Mums hit hardest as flu cases skyrocket

The number of confirmed cases of influenza in Australia has doubled the number for the same time last year - and women are 25 per cent more likely to get it.

The mum who had four babies in nine months

Feeling exhausted due to the demands of caring for a baby? Imagine the life of this mum, who gave birth to three boys and one girl in just nine months.

Everything baby at Big W

Lowest prices on everything baby, only at Big W. Sale starts August 4 and ends August 20 2014.

Going viral

Outrage over baby's icy challenge

A man has been reported to child protective services after taking the ALS ice bucket challenge with his 10-month-old granddaughter.

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

 

Mind, body, beauty, life

Making time for me

We look at your wellbeing, covering health, relationships, beauty and fashion, mind and body.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.