Jump to content

How would you reply?


  • Please log in to reply
14 replies to this topic

#1 *-*

Posted 24 February 2013 - 04:35 PM

I need a little help original.gif

I received an email from my employer today (small business, less than 20 staff) - Lovely lady, in her mid 60's - DH also works for this company.  My employers grand daughter is our childrens baby sitter.  We regularly have her on a Monday after school, to sit the children.  This is not a love job, it's a paid job.

Anyway, one of the paragraphs in the email stated:

"Would you be able to work later on Tuesday?? Do you want to see if H is free?"

Now, rightly or wrongly, this has gotten my back up a little.  

The baby sitting is an agreement between H and us - not our employer, despite her being the grandmother.

Secondly, by her "offering" H's services, she is assuming that I can work should my kids be taken care of, and that I can afford to pay her.

The simple fact is, I cannot afford to pay the sitter for those extra hours (my hours will be juggled, so  I wont be working/paid for extra hours) - but I need a tactful way to advise her of this, and also advise her that the care arrangements of my children, and My availability to work is my responsibility, not hers.

Can anyone offer any suggestions?


#2 PatG

Posted 24 February 2013 - 04:43 PM

Hmm, I'm not sure.  

Saying you can't work the alternate hours is pretty straightforward (and you don't have to give a reason, if she presses I guess you could say prior family commitments).

Can you tell her something about H being an independent young lady who wouldn't like to think that her family had any influence on her work, therefore please don't discuss your childcare arrangements with her?

#3 Great Dame

Posted 24 February 2013 - 04:46 PM

If it's a once off, I would leave off any reference to H being available.  Sounds like she was just being nice, although inappropriate.  As for the rest, I would say I had a prior arrangement.

#4 HezzaB

Posted 24 February 2013 - 04:52 PM

What Madam Protart said.

#5 Mianta

Posted 24 February 2013 - 05:01 PM

Is there more to this situation? Is she generally a bit overbearing as an employer?

Tbh, I think you are over thinking it a bit. She sounds like she is trying to make it a win win situation. She sees that her grand daughter can babysit for you, you get to work and make money, she gets the shift covered.

Just decline politely. No need to over analyse the situation.



#6 Escapin

Posted 24 February 2013 - 05:02 PM

Unless you can use it as an opportunity to ask for a pay rise (so that it would be worth it to work Tues arvo) then I think M.Protart's response is the way to go.

#7 *-*

Posted 24 February 2013 - 05:28 PM

QUOTE (Mianta @ 24/02/2013, 06:01 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Is there more to this situation? Is she generally a bit overbearing as an employer?


There is more - there always is, isn't there?  

It would take me a long time to type it all out but to best sum it up, I think I need to put my foot down a little now.  I get paid for 20 hours a week, but of late, I am working more and more hours... these get written in a book - for me to use in lieu.  This doesn't bother me, it works well, I prefer to know my incommings and outgoings each week.  Only, I'm not getting the opportunity to use the "in lieu" hours... there is always something happening.

Generally speaking, her heart is in the right spot, but she has a bit of a habit of rail roading, and of late, she has been taking a lot of time out for herself - leaving me to hold the fort (as I am the only one left in the office some times, with no key to lock the door and divert the phone).  And quite frankly, I am starting to feel a little used.  

So, I need to be polite, but firm in my answer.  



#8 Madnesscraves

Posted 24 February 2013 - 05:35 PM

Dear X,

Due to prior commitments on this day, I am unable to work. Thanks for the offer. Ill see you on X day.

Regards, YZ.

She really does not need to know what these commitments are. As an employer, it's none of her businesses.


Edited by Madnesscraves, 24 February 2013 - 05:39 PM.


#9 agnodice

Posted 24 February 2013 - 05:41 PM

Even with the extra info, I'm not seeing the huge issue.

I think it was a throwaway line, not some deeply manipulative suggestion that you can't manage your family or should hire her granddaughter for longer hours.

#10 Mrs Mc

Posted 24 February 2013 - 05:47 PM

It probably was a genuine offer, but I can see where you are coming from.   Can you use this opportunity to ask if it's possible to get paid some of you TIL hours. We do this for my staff.  
I would say, I can work this Tuesday but have been meaning to discus the amount of TIL I have built up as seeing as we are so busy would it be possible if I "cashed " some in, this would certainly help me cover the cost of H babysitting

Sincer her email wasn't very formal I work respond on the same level and not make it a formal response.

#11 LambChop

Posted 24 February 2013 - 07:24 PM

I would handle it quite differently than others have said, I would say

"Can you please confirm that you are offering me a permanent increase of hours on top of my 20 hours a week to stay longer on Tuesdays ?  This allows me to determine whether I can afford the extra care I would need for the children in order to be available".



#12 BornToLove

Posted 24 February 2013 - 07:40 PM

I would send a brief message back declining to work Tuesday by email tonight (PPs wording was perfect).

The next time you are in I would have a further conversation about your work hours and how best to handle the changes in workflow so that there is sufficient coverage when she needs to take time away from the business.

#13 trishalishous

Posted 25 February 2013 - 01:31 AM

QUOTE (Madame Protart @ 24/02/2013, 02:46 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
If it's a once off, I would leave off any reference to H being available.  Sounds like she was just being nice, although inappropriate.  As for the rest, I would say I had a prior arrangement.

This. and if she pressed about the 'engagement' Id reply "we take 'boardgame tuesdays' very seriously in our family!"

#14 madmother

Posted 25 February 2013 - 04:43 AM

I like Lambchop's response, but only if you want the extra permanently (never ask for what you could well be granted if you don't want it), otherwise Madnesscraves is right. No need to elaborate, your private business is just that, private.

I would also start submitting the in lieu leave. Just little by little. Use it for appointments or whatever, again, you do not need to explain as you are entitled to it, but it may mean better relations if you offered a reason.

Another thought: let it accumulate and take it like annual leave like in one block?

Edited by madmother, 25 February 2013 - 04:43 AM.


#15 *-*

Posted 26 February 2013 - 01:00 PM

Well.. Here I am, at work.

Thanks for the advice.  It was more wording I needed help with.

As luck would have it - Babysitter was sick yesterday, so have worked 9-3 Yesterday and today (School hours, and kids are in School) - And just told her I had other commitments.  

Once at work today, I mentioned that while I was thankful for the offer, it would be a best for me to organise care for my children, and that an answer of "no" didn't always mean it was a child care issue (her look was perplexed with this one LOL).





1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Australia's top baby names of 2013

Essential Baby has compiled the data available from government records around the country to bring you the list of Australia's top baby names of 2013.

Sara James: fighting for my daughter

Sara James was a high-profile New York journalist, but it was her own daughter's story which raised the most questions.

Siblings and best of friends

I know we'll have some tense moments. I know there will be arguments. But I also know these two will always have this most beautiful bond.

In defence of mums on the phone

I know news stories always attract a range of opinions, and I know they're a place for people to have an anonymous dig in. However, I also know that this mum bashing has to stop.

Rescue dog Zoey and BFF Jasper star in adorable pics

Photographer, self-professed "crazy dog lady" and mum Grace Chon takes photos of rescue dog Zoey and her 10-month-old son Jasper together. The results are just too cute. See more on Instagram @thegracechon.

Pregnancy essentials for the second and third trimesters

So you're through the first trimester of pregnancy - congratulations! Here are some tips for getting through the next six months as comfortably and happily as possible.

Coles Easter eggs recalled due to presence of tree nuts

An allergic reaction has lead to the urgent recall of a variety of Coles brand Easter eggs.

The ultimate travel stroller: the Mountain Buggy nano

We tried the Mountain Buggy nano and give it an enthusiastic thumbs up. As the ultimate travel stroller, it's practical, has great features, and looks fab, too.

Why I love the small age gap between my kids

Six months after our son turned one, we welcomed son number two into our lives. Yes, the small age gap had been planned - and there are things I love and hate about that small gap.

Parents warned about posting kids' photos online

Parents could be putting their kids at risk by posting images and information online which give away personal details, such as where they go to school and which parks they frequent.

Easter gifts for babies, no chocolate in sight!

If this is your little one?s first Easter you might want to mark the occasion with something a little extra special. Here are 10 Easter gift ideas, which won't harm little teeth.

Mum's the word when it comes to baby news

The arrival of a baby is big news, but friends and family need to understand it is not their news to share.

What?s in your parenting toolbox?

So often as parents, we don?t really talk about our ?parenting toolboxes?. But you need to be aware of what you and your partner are working with, and to decide what does and doesn't fit in your lives.

Classroom pregnancy prank goes viral

An American college professor has had to rethink his strict rule about answering cell phones in class after being the victim of an April Fools' prank that has gone viral.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win the brand new phil&teds vibe

Check out the good looking new release of the Vibe 3 and the Verve 4-wheeler inline strollers. To celebrate their release, we have a Vibe with double kit to give away.

Baby sleep

From birth to one year and beyond, read about baby sleep, soothing techniques, routines, and sleep school experiences.

Australia's top baby names of 2013

Essential Baby has compiled the data available from government records around the country to bring you the list of Australia's top baby names of 2013.

Video: Dad turns son into action movie hero

Many kids would love to be an action movie hero in real life, but very few will ever be able to see themselves in movies like these.

Toilet training in winter

There?s no need to stop thinking about toilet training just because the temperature is dropping: winter is a good a time as any to start the process.

What do you do all day?

It's the question all new mothers dread. For Kate Fridkis, it's a question that strikes to the heart of what it is to be a woman.

Easter gifts for babies, no chocolate in sight!

If this is your little one?s first Easter you might want to mark the occasion with something a little extra special. Here are 10 Easter gift ideas, which won't harm little teeth.

Video: Baby starts his day with a dance party

Few people start their day the same way this little guy does ? dancing, smiling, and generally having an awesome time.

IKEA announces bed canopy recall

IKEA has recalled its range of bed canopies designed to suspend above children?s beds following reported cases of injuries and entanglement.

 

Free Printable Activities

Keeping little hands busy

Free printable acitivity pages like colouring in, cutting, word finders, mazes, maths activities and puzzles.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.