Jump to content

How would you reply?


  • Please log in to reply
13 replies to this topic

#1 *-*

Posted 24 February 2013 - 04:35 PM

I need a little help original.gif

I received an email from my employer today (small business, less than 20 staff) - Lovely lady, in her mid 60's - DH also works for this company.  My employers grand daughter is our childrens baby sitter.  We regularly have her on a Monday after school, to sit the children.  This is not a love job, it's a paid job.

Anyway, one of the paragraphs in the email stated:

"Would you be able to work later on Tuesday?? Do you want to see if H is free?"

Now, rightly or wrongly, this has gotten my back up a little.  

The baby sitting is an agreement between H and us - not our employer, despite her being the grandmother.

Secondly, by her "offering" H's services, she is assuming that I can work should my kids be taken care of, and that I can afford to pay her.

The simple fact is, I cannot afford to pay the sitter for those extra hours (my hours will be juggled, so  I wont be working/paid for extra hours) - but I need a tactful way to advise her of this, and also advise her that the care arrangements of my children, and My availability to work is my responsibility, not hers.

Can anyone offer any suggestions?


#2 PatG

Posted 24 February 2013 - 04:43 PM

Hmm, I'm not sure.  

Saying you can't work the alternate hours is pretty straightforward (and you don't have to give a reason, if she presses I guess you could say prior family commitments).

Can you tell her something about H being an independent young lady who wouldn't like to think that her family had any influence on her work, therefore please don't discuss your childcare arrangements with her?

#3 FeralHez

Posted 24 February 2013 - 04:52 PM

What Madam Protart said.

#4 Mianta

Posted 24 February 2013 - 05:01 PM

Is there more to this situation? Is she generally a bit overbearing as an employer?

Tbh, I think you are over thinking it a bit. She sounds like she is trying to make it a win win situation. She sees that her grand daughter can babysit for you, you get to work and make money, she gets the shift covered.

Just decline politely. No need to over analyse the situation.



#5 Escapin

Posted 24 February 2013 - 05:02 PM

Unless you can use it as an opportunity to ask for a pay rise (so that it would be worth it to work Tues arvo) then I think M.Protart's response is the way to go.

#6 *-*

Posted 24 February 2013 - 05:28 PM

QUOTE (Mianta @ 24/02/2013, 06:01 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Is there more to this situation? Is she generally a bit overbearing as an employer?


There is more - there always is, isn't there?  

It would take me a long time to type it all out but to best sum it up, I think I need to put my foot down a little now.  I get paid for 20 hours a week, but of late, I am working more and more hours... these get written in a book - for me to use in lieu.  This doesn't bother me, it works well, I prefer to know my incommings and outgoings each week.  Only, I'm not getting the opportunity to use the "in lieu" hours... there is always something happening.

Generally speaking, her heart is in the right spot, but she has a bit of a habit of rail roading, and of late, she has been taking a lot of time out for herself - leaving me to hold the fort (as I am the only one left in the office some times, with no key to lock the door and divert the phone).  And quite frankly, I am starting to feel a little used.  

So, I need to be polite, but firm in my answer.  



#7 Madnesscraves

Posted 24 February 2013 - 05:35 PM

Dear X,

Due to prior commitments on this day, I am unable to work. Thanks for the offer. Ill see you on X day.

Regards, YZ.

She really does not need to know what these commitments are. As an employer, it's none of her businesses.


Edited by Madnesscraves, 24 February 2013 - 05:39 PM.


#8 No-pants Agnodice

Posted 24 February 2013 - 05:41 PM

Even with the extra info, I'm not seeing the huge issue.

I think it was a throwaway line, not some deeply manipulative suggestion that you can't manage your family or should hire her granddaughter for longer hours.

#9 Mrs Mc

Posted 24 February 2013 - 05:47 PM

It probably was a genuine offer, but I can see where you are coming from.   Can you use this opportunity to ask if it's possible to get paid some of you TIL hours. We do this for my staff.  
I would say, I can work this Tuesday but have been meaning to discus the amount of TIL I have built up as seeing as we are so busy would it be possible if I "cashed " some in, this would certainly help me cover the cost of H babysitting

Sincer her email wasn't very formal I work respond on the same level and not make it a formal response.

#10 LambChop

Posted 24 February 2013 - 07:24 PM

I would handle it quite differently than others have said, I would say

"Can you please confirm that you are offering me a permanent increase of hours on top of my 20 hours a week to stay longer on Tuesdays ?  This allows me to determine whether I can afford the extra care I would need for the children in order to be available".



#11 BornToLove

Posted 24 February 2013 - 07:40 PM

I would send a brief message back declining to work Tuesday by email tonight (PPs wording was perfect).

The next time you are in I would have a further conversation about your work hours and how best to handle the changes in workflow so that there is sufficient coverage when she needs to take time away from the business.

#12 Feralishous

Posted 25 February 2013 - 01:31 AM

QUOTE (Madame Protart @ 24/02/2013, 02:46 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
If it's a once off, I would leave off any reference to H being available.  Sounds like she was just being nice, although inappropriate.  As for the rest, I would say I had a prior arrangement.

This. and if she pressed about the 'engagement' Id reply "we take 'boardgame tuesdays' very seriously in our family!"

#13 madmother

Posted 25 February 2013 - 04:43 AM

I like Lambchop's response, but only if you want the extra permanently (never ask for what you could well be granted if you don't want it), otherwise Madnesscraves is right. No need to elaborate, your private business is just that, private.

I would also start submitting the in lieu leave. Just little by little. Use it for appointments or whatever, again, you do not need to explain as you are entitled to it, but it may mean better relations if you offered a reason.

Another thought: let it accumulate and take it like annual leave like in one block?

Edited by madmother, 25 February 2013 - 04:43 AM.


#14 *-*

Posted 26 February 2013 - 01:00 PM

Well.. Here I am, at work.

Thanks for the advice.  It was more wording I needed help with.

As luck would have it - Babysitter was sick yesterday, so have worked 9-3 Yesterday and today (School hours, and kids are in School) - And just told her I had other commitments.  

Once at work today, I mentioned that while I was thankful for the offer, it would be a best for me to organise care for my children, and that an answer of "no" didn't always mean it was a child care issue (her look was perplexed with this one LOL).





1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Heartwarming prank gives single mum the house she was hired to clean

Cara Simmons arrived at work to clean a large and beautiful house in time for a party planned for that evening. It was soon hers.

Why we should stop telling new parents to 'enjoy every moment'

A few weeks ago, some dear friends of mine had their first baby. As the proud dad texted me a picture I had to fight the natural instinct to say “Enjoy every moment!”

Transgender dad breastfeeds his babies

A transgender man who breastfed his first baby - despite having his breasts removed as part of his transformation from female to male - has now had a second child.

Couple face $1 million medical bill and bankruptcy after babymoon birth

A Canadian couple were slammed with a million dollar medical bill after their daughter was prematurely during their babymoon.

Win one of 5 Little Tikes Cozy Coupe Sport

Australia?s No 1 selling car is now available in a Sports model and we have 5 to give away to some lucky Essential Baby families.

Cigarettes, junk food dominate supermarket sales growth

One in every five dollars spent at supermarkets goes on cigarettes or junk food, according to industry data.

Teacher under fire for breastfeeding in class

There is no doubt mums have a right to continue breastfeeding after they have returned to work, but one teacher in the US has taken it to the extreme.

Video: Baby sniffs beardless dad to make sure it's him

She looks him up and down and then touches his chin, but baby Lindsey still isn't sure this clean-shaven man is her dad.

The tragedy of losing a favourite teddy bear

We were green and uninitiated, perhaps a little naïve when it came to the favourite toy responsibility.

It's possible to workout while pregnant

Medical experts say intense fitness routines can be done safely during pregnancy - if the mums-to-be follow some guidelines.

Baby for Asher Keddie and Vincent Fantauzzo

Fans followed every step of her on-screen pregnancy in Offspring, now Asher Keddie is going to be a mum in real life too.

What parents really want for their kids

Are our hopes, dreams and expectations for our children what they really need?

'I had a feeling something was seriously wrong': the fight for Kaden's diagnosis

Before even giving birth, Katie Myers' maternal instincts warned her something was wrong with her baby.

When your pregnancy causes a relationship rift

Some dads-to-be don't miss a beat when their partner is pregnant; others struggle with a range of issues and can become withdrawn, right when their support is needed most.

Couple uses group photo trick to announce pregnancy to loved ones

Katharine and Kris Camilli devised a clever trick to immortalise their family and friends' reaction to their exciting pregnancy news.

Why Tracey Spicer has given up make-up

"After 30 years on television, I had become what I despised: a painted doll who spent an hour a day and close to $200 a week putting on a mask."

Empowering bikini photo of 46-year-old mum goes viral

When a group of teenagers made rude remarks about her body as she walked past them in a bikini at the local beach, Julie Cross refused to cover up.

Devastated widow discovers she's pregnant the day before husband's funeral

They had been trying to conceive a baby for seven years. Tragically Kristy Kirchner found out she was pregnant the day before her husband Royce's funeral.

Win a family pass to Disney Live!

We have 4 family passes to give away to see Disney Live! presents Three Classic Fairy Tales, touring Australia this December/January.

Gabriella Goat sues Peppa Pig

Every toddler's favourite television pig is being sued by an Italian woman who shares a name with a Peppa Pig character.

Meet the Mpregs, the male pregnancy enthusiasts

"Men can't have babies - that's something only women can do! But our community is full of like-minded people who wish otherwise."

Your new motherhood survival kit

Forget about the bright, pretty baby things - while you're in survival mode, all you'll need are the essentials.

More than 100,000 cars recalled globally after death of pregnant woman

The announcement of a mass recall comes as Malaysian police investigate the death of pregnant woman in July.

I had a 'good baby' but still suffered from postnatal depression

I had a much wanted precious baby girl, a 'good baby' who slept well, self settled and was mostly content. It just seemed implausible to think I could succumb to depression.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win one of 5 Little Tikes Cozy Coupe Sport

Australia?s No 1 selling car is now available in a Sports model and we have 5 to give away to some lucky Essential Baby families.

Join PADDINGTON on the red carpet!

To celebrate the release of PADDINGTON, we are giving five lucky winners the chance to win a family pass to the exclusive Australian Premiere in Sydney on December 7!

Knowing you are one of the lucky ones

I am secure, confident and strong, but the responsibility of protecting my children can almost bring me undone.

Why I am so emotional now I have kids?

There are so many ways in which parenthood changes us as women, but one of the most noticeable, for me, has been the changing state of my emotions.

Baby survives despite sharing womb with 'foreign body'

Baby Maia was conceived against the odds, only to find she was sharing a womb with an ominous "foreign body".

Video: Baby shows dog how to jump - or vice versa

They say dog is man's best friend, but this playful pooch seems to have chosen a jumping baby as her number one buddy.

10 ways to soothe a crying baby

New paernts can get frustrated when their newborn gets fussy and can't settle down. When you're feeling overwhelmed, try some of these simple tips to help soothe your baby.

20 baby names that are becoming more popular every year

The data-lovers at nameberry.com have been at it again – this time, they’ve discovered the names that are continually rising up the ranks, ready to take out some top spots in the next few years.

10 great meals to make for new parents

Ideally, you want to give food that isn’t expensive to make, isn't too difficult to create, and freezes well; stews, bakes, soups and pasta sauces are perfect.

'It's not you, it's me': Boston bombing survivor mum to have leg amputated

Rebekah DiMartino is going through a break-up. She even wrote a farewell love letter. But it's not to her husband.

What it's like to go through early menopause

In a cruel twist, Carla had been breastfeeding and perimenopausal at the same time. But she's far from the only one to go through menopause early.

Restaurant served alcohol to two-year-old

Busy restaurants can be forgiven for getting food and drink orders mixed up from time to time, but not when the confusion leads to a two-year-old being served an alcoholic cocktail instead of the child-friendly beverage they ordered.

Julia Morris tells of miscarriage on a flight

Julia Morris has spoken about the devastation of suffering a miscarriage while on an international flight.

Woman's survival after birth 'a story of two miracles'

A US mother is home and tending to her new baby less than a month after surviving without a pulse for 45 minutes.

Eating ice may give mental boost to the iron deficient: study

A new study proposes that, like a strong cup of coffee, ice may give those with insufficient iron a much-needed mental boost.

Tiny lives in caring hands: Thank U NICU Day

Each year in Australia, over 40,000 newborns need the help of a special care nursery or neonatal intensive care unit. One day a year, the staff are honoured by the parents they help through those dark days.

I paid $50,000 to have a girl

This time my husband and I hadn't taken any chances. We had paid $50,000 and travelled 13,000 kilometres to make sure the baby growing inside me was female.

Weird pregnancy products

Some pregnancy products come to market and are just awesome. Others just leave you scratching your head.

Dear firstborn, I'm sorry

Being a first-time mum is tough for so many reasons – particularly because you really have no idea what you're doing.

A trace of sesame could kill my son

Helen Richardson son's had two anaphylactic reactions in a month. It's traumatic for everyone.

When you know before the test says yes

It wasn't a pregnancy test or missed period that told me I was pregnant with my second baby; it was too early for those things. A doner kebab told me I was going to be a mum again.

What not to do when your partner is in labour

Robbie Williams stole the show during his wife Ayda's labour, pretty much demonstrating everything on the "what not to do when your partner is in labour" list.

Best maternity swimwear and beach cover-ups

Thinking about a tropical babymoon but have nothing to wear? Here are some great swimwear and beach cover-up options for mums-to-be.

Dad breastfeeds his babies

Trevor Macdonald has now been pregnant twice, and is successfully breastfeeding his newest family member.

 

How many weeks til Christmas?

On your To-Do list

Get the "Santa" shopping done without the kids in tow.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.