Jump to content

Help me get my head together...


  • Please log in to reply
5 replies to this topic

#1 4ngiebella

Posted 24 February 2013 - 07:47 AM

Hi everyone,

I've been posting in here a little bit lately and have just come across such supportive and wonderful people that this is where I wanted to turn first to get my head around the latest piece of news that has rocked the boat somewhat.

As you know, the real estate called this week to say the house is going on the market, I had to go to a friend's funeral on Friday and every day life happening...

The latest is that I am pregnant. We had one accident this month and I took the morning after pill right away. Apparently it wasn't enough so I'm about 6 weeks pregnant. I knew something was up because even though I have irregular periods at best, I was getting very sick like I did when I had morning sickness.

So this will be my 4th child. And our 5th counting my step son. We only have him half the time so I guess the real question is, how did everyone cope with 5 kids!

To be honest I never really wanted a large family. And my youngest is 6 months old. The others are 5 and 7. Eek!!!

#2 deedee70

Posted 25 February 2013 - 01:33 PM

Just saw this, off to pick up kids from school but big hugs and you'll be surprised how easily you will cope!! Trust me!  biggrin.gif
Congratulations!!  biggrin.gif

#3 Nofliesonme

Posted 25 February 2013 - 07:09 PM

You will cope, you always cope no matter what.... I'm sure in a few months your perspective will change. Good luck OP

#4 nessrose

Posted 26 February 2013 - 08:03 PM

Hi there,

We didn't set out to have a big family.We have 5 kids who are aged 7, 5 year old twins, 3 and 10 months.

Like you, our #4 was the result of a little accident, then a failed morning after pill attempt! She turned out to be such a blessing that we decided on a #5!

It's amazing how organised you become with lots of kids. You will surprise yourself. Congratulations and just enjoy the pregnancy. It's funny what life throws at us sometimes.

#5 librablonde

Posted 26 February 2013 - 09:14 PM

I had a similar expansion of my family at a fast rate: 4 years ago I was single and a foster carer to 2 kids, I then met my DP who had 2 young DS's, then 2 more siblings to my foster kids were born and placed in foster care with me, then I moved in with my DP and her kids 8 months ago. So I went from 3 people in my family to 8 people in the space of 4 years. Sometimes I still reel from the shock of it all, but most of the time it's great. You really do learn to adjust very quickly and change your priorities. For example: my 2 eldest foster kids used to have a bath, story and special wind-down time with me every single night. Now they bathe 2-3 times a week and getting a bedtime story less often. My house used to be very clean and orderly, now it's cluttered and tidy but not always clean. I used to have much more time for social events and "me" time, now I have very little of that time.

However, I wouldn't change it for anything. Our family is large, loud and we love each other. More kids means more squabbles to sort out but more kids to play with. I now drive a 8-seater van instead of my groovy little vintage car but I can fit so much stuff in that van when I need to when I get some great time to do "fun shopping". I couldn't fit awesome op-shop furniture finds in my old car.  Now my kids crave one-on-one time with me and our time together is extremely valued by them. They rarely ruin that time with naughty behaviour and we have brilliant memories of that time. When I do a head-count of all the kids trailing along with me when we're walking along the street I feel totally satisfied and happy that everyone is where they should be and that this is our life. It's not easy, rarely cruisey, but always interesting.

OP, I think you can cope with 5 kids if you set your mind to it and just choose to let yourself and your priorities change. The problems start when parents think their life isn't going to change that much and resent having a large family when it does. You will probably have a less tidy house, you may have to stretch your dollars further, you might not drive a cool car. But so what?? I think a large family is what you make it: either something fun and loving or something fraught and stressful. You can do it, OP. Set yourself up some excellent routines now, set some goals for the next 7.5 months before the baby arrives and make sure you have supportive family and friends around you if possible. It's very do-able.

#6 4ngiebella

Posted 27 February 2013 - 09:36 AM

QUOTE (librablonde @ 26/02/2013, 09:14 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I had a similar expansion of my family at a fast rate: 4 years ago I was single and a foster carer to 2 kids, I then met my DP who had 2 young DS's, then 2 more siblings to my foster kids were born and placed in foster care with me, then I moved in with my DP and her kids 8 months ago. So I went from 3 people in my family to 8 people in the space of 4 years. Sometimes I still reel from the shock of it all, but most of the time it's great. You really do learn to adjust very quickly and change your priorities. For example: my 2 eldest foster kids used to have a bath, story and special wind-down time with me every single night. Now they bathe 2-3 times a week and getting a bedtime story less often. My house used to be very clean and orderly, now it's cluttered and tidy but not always clean. I used to have much more time for social events and "me" time, now I have very little of that time.

However, I wouldn't change it for anything. Our family is large, loud and we love each other. More kids means more squabbles to sort out but more kids to play with. I now drive a 8-seater van instead of my groovy little vintage car but I can fit so much stuff in that van when I need to when I get some great time to do "fun shopping". I couldn't fit awesome op-shop furniture finds in my old car.  Now my kids crave one-on-one time with me and our time together is extremely valued by them. They rarely ruin that time with naughty behaviour and we have brilliant memories of that time. When I do a head-count of all the kids trailing along with me when we're walking along the street I feel totally satisfied and happy that everyone is where they should be and that this is our life. It's not easy, rarely cruisey, but always interesting.

OP, I think you can cope with 5 kids if you set your mind to it and just choose to let yourself and your priorities change. The problems start when parents think their life isn't going to change that much and resent having a large family when it does. You will probably have a less tidy house, you may have to stretch your dollars further, you might not drive a cool car. But so what?? I think a large family is what you make it: either something fun and loving or something fraught and stressful. You can do it, OP. Set yourself up some excellent routines now, set some goals for the next 7.5 months before the baby arrives and make sure you have supportive family and friends around you if possible. It's very do-able.


Oh thank you so much. I made an appointment this morning with a counselling service to try and get my head around this. I'm still freaking out so much and with little support from family and friends I've been leaning toward a medical termination but everything you just said was how I imagined a big family could be. I know it can be a romantic notion at times but I also think family = love. And I think about how wonderful having 5 children will be at every stage in my life. Imagine all the wonderful grandchildren!!!

But I'm getting ahead of myself. Thank you for your post. It was JUST what I needed to hear to gain back a bit of positivity xxx




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Meet the latest baby giving the internet hair envy

"As a bald man, I'm very proud of my 2-month-old's hair," wrote new dad Brian Gorham, 32, along with a photo he shared to reddit.

Woman hits back after shop assistant labels her engagement ring as 'pathetic'

A US woman has been applauded worldwide for sharing a photo of her modest, US$130 engagement ring after a shop assistant labelled it "pathetic".

Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher welcome baby boy

Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher welcomed their second child, USA TODAY has confirmed.

After his grandkids moved away, this grandpa came up with a beautiful way to stay in touch

Chan Jae, a 75-year-old man from Korea, missed his grandsons terribly when they moved overseas.

20 gorgeous Christmas stocking and sack options

It seems every year that Christmas-themed goodies for kids get less tacky and more stylish.

Dad's genius hack for how to go shopping with a baby

A dad has shared his genius hack for tackling Christmas shopping with toddlers.

How I gave birth far too drug-free for my own liking

I certainly wasn't shy about medication. In fact, my policy on this was, in the immortal words of Britney Spears, "Gimme gimme more".

Christmas-inspired names for your December baby

Due during the festive season, or just have a love of Christmas?

Three-year-old mistakes policeman for Santa, so naturally he goes along with it

When an adorable three-year-old spotted a white haired gentleman in a restaurant she naturally assumed he was Santa Claus.

To VBAC or not to VBAC?

"If, after careful assessment by their maternity care provider, there seems to be no reason why a woman shouldn't be offered a chance at VBAC, then the opportunity should be provided."

Baby tries broccoli for the first time, immediately regrets it

It's probably fair to say that broccoli is an acquired taste.

'I didn't think I'd have pimples as a grown-up ... then I fell pregnant'

As specialists treat more adults for acne, Lucy Sheref reveals the emotional cost of years spent struggling with the condition.

Stranger's act of kindness helps overwhelmed mum in supermarket

A random act of kindness from a stranger in the supermarket brought a mum to tears, exactly when she needed it most.

21 adorable Christmas outfits for your baby

December 25 is just around the corner, and it's the perfect opportunity to dress your bub in a sweet festive outfit.

 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Articles

Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

What pregnancy is really like: mums share their honest opinions

We asked real women what surprised them during their pregnancy. They've shared their experiences in the hope of preparing the rest of us better for the ride

The truth about big-headed babies

Research suggests that big headed babies become more intelligent than their smaller peers. One mum shares the positives and negatives of having a big headed baby.

How to encourage your baby's gross motor development skills

There are some everyday things that parents can do to improve gross motor skills and coordination.

'My baby's extra thumb saved her life'

A mum whose daughter was born with an extra thumb says that the extra digit saved her life.

He gave her his liver, she gave him her heart

Heather Krueger and Chris Dempsey's origin story began in a darker place than most: with stage 4 liver cancer.

Toilet training from birth? It is possible

This method, called elimination communication (EC or assisted infant toilet training), is becoming increasingly popular in the West.

Watch hilarious montage of strangest pregnancy questions on Yahoo Answers

Some of the strangest questions about pregnancy - and some of the most bizarre spelling - have made for a hilarious video.

How to reduce your chances of perineal tearing in birth

The use of heat packs, along with other aspects of clinical care, can reduce your risk of tearing in birth.

 

Baby Names

Unusual Celeb Baby Names

Click through the gallery to read the details and see some of the most memorable monikers in show biz families.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.