Jump to content

Help me get my head together...


  • Please log in to reply
5 replies to this topic

#1 4ngiebella

Posted 24 February 2013 - 07:47 AM

Hi everyone,

I've been posting in here a little bit lately and have just come across such supportive and wonderful people that this is where I wanted to turn first to get my head around the latest piece of news that has rocked the boat somewhat.

As you know, the real estate called this week to say the house is going on the market, I had to go to a friend's funeral on Friday and every day life happening...

The latest is that I am pregnant. We had one accident this month and I took the morning after pill right away. Apparently it wasn't enough so I'm about 6 weeks pregnant. I knew something was up because even though I have irregular periods at best, I was getting very sick like I did when I had morning sickness.

So this will be my 4th child. And our 5th counting my step son. We only have him half the time so I guess the real question is, how did everyone cope with 5 kids!

To be honest I never really wanted a large family. And my youngest is 6 months old. The others are 5 and 7. Eek!!!

#2 deedee70

Posted 25 February 2013 - 01:33 PM

Just saw this, off to pick up kids from school but big hugs and you'll be surprised how easily you will cope!! Trust me!  biggrin.gif
Congratulations!!  biggrin.gif

#3 Nofliesonme

Posted 25 February 2013 - 07:09 PM

You will cope, you always cope no matter what.... I'm sure in a few months your perspective will change. Good luck OP

#4 nessrose

Posted 26 February 2013 - 08:03 PM

Hi there,

We didn't set out to have a big family.We have 5 kids who are aged 7, 5 year old twins, 3 and 10 months.

Like you, our #4 was the result of a little accident, then a failed morning after pill attempt! She turned out to be such a blessing that we decided on a #5!

It's amazing how organised you become with lots of kids. You will surprise yourself. Congratulations and just enjoy the pregnancy. It's funny what life throws at us sometimes.

#5 librablonde

Posted 26 February 2013 - 09:14 PM

I had a similar expansion of my family at a fast rate: 4 years ago I was single and a foster carer to 2 kids, I then met my DP who had 2 young DS's, then 2 more siblings to my foster kids were born and placed in foster care with me, then I moved in with my DP and her kids 8 months ago. So I went from 3 people in my family to 8 people in the space of 4 years. Sometimes I still reel from the shock of it all, but most of the time it's great. You really do learn to adjust very quickly and change your priorities. For example: my 2 eldest foster kids used to have a bath, story and special wind-down time with me every single night. Now they bathe 2-3 times a week and getting a bedtime story less often. My house used to be very clean and orderly, now it's cluttered and tidy but not always clean. I used to have much more time for social events and "me" time, now I have very little of that time.

However, I wouldn't change it for anything. Our family is large, loud and we love each other. More kids means more squabbles to sort out but more kids to play with. I now drive a 8-seater van instead of my groovy little vintage car but I can fit so much stuff in that van when I need to when I get some great time to do "fun shopping". I couldn't fit awesome op-shop furniture finds in my old car.  Now my kids crave one-on-one time with me and our time together is extremely valued by them. They rarely ruin that time with naughty behaviour and we have brilliant memories of that time. When I do a head-count of all the kids trailing along with me when we're walking along the street I feel totally satisfied and happy that everyone is where they should be and that this is our life. It's not easy, rarely cruisey, but always interesting.

OP, I think you can cope with 5 kids if you set your mind to it and just choose to let yourself and your priorities change. The problems start when parents think their life isn't going to change that much and resent having a large family when it does. You will probably have a less tidy house, you may have to stretch your dollars further, you might not drive a cool car. But so what?? I think a large family is what you make it: either something fun and loving or something fraught and stressful. You can do it, OP. Set yourself up some excellent routines now, set some goals for the next 7.5 months before the baby arrives and make sure you have supportive family and friends around you if possible. It's very do-able.

#6 4ngiebella

Posted 27 February 2013 - 09:36 AM

QUOTE (librablonde @ 26/02/2013, 09:14 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I had a similar expansion of my family at a fast rate: 4 years ago I was single and a foster carer to 2 kids, I then met my DP who had 2 young DS's, then 2 more siblings to my foster kids were born and placed in foster care with me, then I moved in with my DP and her kids 8 months ago. So I went from 3 people in my family to 8 people in the space of 4 years. Sometimes I still reel from the shock of it all, but most of the time it's great. You really do learn to adjust very quickly and change your priorities. For example: my 2 eldest foster kids used to have a bath, story and special wind-down time with me every single night. Now they bathe 2-3 times a week and getting a bedtime story less often. My house used to be very clean and orderly, now it's cluttered and tidy but not always clean. I used to have much more time for social events and "me" time, now I have very little of that time.

However, I wouldn't change it for anything. Our family is large, loud and we love each other. More kids means more squabbles to sort out but more kids to play with. I now drive a 8-seater van instead of my groovy little vintage car but I can fit so much stuff in that van when I need to when I get some great time to do "fun shopping". I couldn't fit awesome op-shop furniture finds in my old car.  Now my kids crave one-on-one time with me and our time together is extremely valued by them. They rarely ruin that time with naughty behaviour and we have brilliant memories of that time. When I do a head-count of all the kids trailing along with me when we're walking along the street I feel totally satisfied and happy that everyone is where they should be and that this is our life. It's not easy, rarely cruisey, but always interesting.

OP, I think you can cope with 5 kids if you set your mind to it and just choose to let yourself and your priorities change. The problems start when parents think their life isn't going to change that much and resent having a large family when it does. You will probably have a less tidy house, you may have to stretch your dollars further, you might not drive a cool car. But so what?? I think a large family is what you make it: either something fun and loving or something fraught and stressful. You can do it, OP. Set yourself up some excellent routines now, set some goals for the next 7.5 months before the baby arrives and make sure you have supportive family and friends around you if possible. It's very do-able.


Oh thank you so much. I made an appointment this morning with a counselling service to try and get my head around this. I'm still freaking out so much and with little support from family and friends I've been leaning toward a medical termination but everything you just said was how I imagined a big family could be. I know it can be a romantic notion at times but I also think family = love. And I think about how wonderful having 5 children will be at every stage in my life. Imagine all the wonderful grandchildren!!!

But I'm getting ahead of myself. Thank you for your post. It was JUST what I needed to hear to gain back a bit of positivity xxx




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Mum shares hilarious story about attempting shower sex

As most parents know, finding time for sex post-kids is one of life's not-so-little challenges.

16 things you'll learn on the preschool party circuit

Kids birthday parties sound fun in the abstract but the reality is they often end up an introverts worst nightmare – forced social interaction in the name of good parenting.

The 92-year-old who's a great-great-great-grandmother

A 92-year-old Canadian woman has become a great-great-great grandmother this week after the family welcomed a baby boy.

The Pramrolla mimics a walk in the park to help your baby get to sleep

Simply put the pram brake on, set the wheels on top of the Pramrolla, plug it in and off they go ... or so they think.

Beyonce shares surreal pregnancy photo shoot

Pop superstar Beyonce on Thursday released a slew of photos of herself posing pregnant and nude.

Airport staff order mum to squeeze her breasts to prove she's lactating

A Singaporean mum of two has spoken about her humiliation at the hands of German airport security guards who ordered her to prove she could breastfeed.

How to keep your baby or toddler safe at home

Child-proofing tips that will ensure your home remains a safe haven for curious toddlers and babies on the move.

Told to get rid of their dogs, this expectant couple took the sweetest photos instead

When the couple conceived their first human child they came under enormous pressure to give up their dogs.

Bereaved parents take baby home for 'family time' after death, thanks to cuddle cot

A bereaved mother has spoken about her decision to take her daughter's body home to spend time as a family before her funeral.

'Get off your phone!': the daycare note that's got people talking

A note posted by a US daycare facility has urged parents to get off their phone when collecting their children:

Babysitter's creative 'hands-free' baby carrier hack

We've all been there – you need to hold the baby, but you also need to eat.

Will these be the most on-trend baby names of 2017?

Nameberry has crunched the numbers, predicting which monikers will see a rise in 2017.

Firefighter adopts the baby he helped deliver

Five years ago firefighter Marc Hadden took an emergency call that changed his life.

Mum shares graphic image to highlight importance of rear-facing car seats for kids

A British safety blogger has shared a graphic photo of the damage a seatbelt can do in a car accident in a bid to persuade more parents to use rear-facing car seats for as long as possible with their kids.

Pharrell Williams and his wife welcome triplets

Now that's a good way to start the new year.

Turn yourself into a child's climbing gym with this wearable vest

It's such a neat idea for those living in high density apartment blocks where children may struggle to get enough physical activity.

Bugaboo unveils its new Bugaboo Bee5

The lightweight and compact Bugaboo Bee has been on the scene for a decade now.

The first few weeks of pregnancy: surreal, scary, exciting

It is okay to be worried, nervous, anxious, in love and happy all at the same time.

 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Articles

Advertisement
 
 
 

From our network

Essential Baby & Toddler Show, presented by Blackmores

3-5 March 2017, Brisbane Convention & Exhibition Centre. Get your FREE ticket now. Save $20.

Your child's fine motor skills: what you should know

There is less of a focus on fine motor skills, but they're just as important as others. (SPONSORED)

5 ways music helps your toddler's development

There are at least five other compelling reasons to get musical around your toddler. (SPONSORED)

 

Free ticket offer

Essential Baby & Toddler Show, presented by Blackmores

3-5 March 2017, Brisbane Convention & Exhibition Centre. Get your FREE ticket now. Save $20.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.