Jump to content

Help me get my head together...


  • Please log in to reply
5 replies to this topic

#1 4ngiebella

Posted 24 February 2013 - 07:47 AM

Hi everyone,

I've been posting in here a little bit lately and have just come across such supportive and wonderful people that this is where I wanted to turn first to get my head around the latest piece of news that has rocked the boat somewhat.

As you know, the real estate called this week to say the house is going on the market, I had to go to a friend's funeral on Friday and every day life happening...

The latest is that I am pregnant. We had one accident this month and I took the morning after pill right away. Apparently it wasn't enough so I'm about 6 weeks pregnant. I knew something was up because even though I have irregular periods at best, I was getting very sick like I did when I had morning sickness.

So this will be my 4th child. And our 5th counting my step son. We only have him half the time so I guess the real question is, how did everyone cope with 5 kids!

To be honest I never really wanted a large family. And my youngest is 6 months old. The others are 5 and 7. Eek!!!

#2 deedee70

Posted 25 February 2013 - 01:33 PM

Just saw this, off to pick up kids from school but big hugs and you'll be surprised how easily you will cope!! Trust me!  biggrin.gif
Congratulations!!  biggrin.gif

#3 Nofliesonme

Posted 25 February 2013 - 07:09 PM

You will cope, you always cope no matter what.... I'm sure in a few months your perspective will change. Good luck OP

#4 nessrose

Posted 26 February 2013 - 08:03 PM

Hi there,

We didn't set out to have a big family.We have 5 kids who are aged 7, 5 year old twins, 3 and 10 months.

Like you, our #4 was the result of a little accident, then a failed morning after pill attempt! She turned out to be such a blessing that we decided on a #5!

It's amazing how organised you become with lots of kids. You will surprise yourself. Congratulations and just enjoy the pregnancy. It's funny what life throws at us sometimes.

#5 librablonde

Posted 26 February 2013 - 09:14 PM

I had a similar expansion of my family at a fast rate: 4 years ago I was single and a foster carer to 2 kids, I then met my DP who had 2 young DS's, then 2 more siblings to my foster kids were born and placed in foster care with me, then I moved in with my DP and her kids 8 months ago. So I went from 3 people in my family to 8 people in the space of 4 years. Sometimes I still reel from the shock of it all, but most of the time it's great. You really do learn to adjust very quickly and change your priorities. For example: my 2 eldest foster kids used to have a bath, story and special wind-down time with me every single night. Now they bathe 2-3 times a week and getting a bedtime story less often. My house used to be very clean and orderly, now it's cluttered and tidy but not always clean. I used to have much more time for social events and "me" time, now I have very little of that time.

However, I wouldn't change it for anything. Our family is large, loud and we love each other. More kids means more squabbles to sort out but more kids to play with. I now drive a 8-seater van instead of my groovy little vintage car but I can fit so much stuff in that van when I need to when I get some great time to do "fun shopping". I couldn't fit awesome op-shop furniture finds in my old car.  Now my kids crave one-on-one time with me and our time together is extremely valued by them. They rarely ruin that time with naughty behaviour and we have brilliant memories of that time. When I do a head-count of all the kids trailing along with me when we're walking along the street I feel totally satisfied and happy that everyone is where they should be and that this is our life. It's not easy, rarely cruisey, but always interesting.

OP, I think you can cope with 5 kids if you set your mind to it and just choose to let yourself and your priorities change. The problems start when parents think their life isn't going to change that much and resent having a large family when it does. You will probably have a less tidy house, you may have to stretch your dollars further, you might not drive a cool car. But so what?? I think a large family is what you make it: either something fun and loving or something fraught and stressful. You can do it, OP. Set yourself up some excellent routines now, set some goals for the next 7.5 months before the baby arrives and make sure you have supportive family and friends around you if possible. It's very do-able.

#6 4ngiebella

Posted 27 February 2013 - 09:36 AM

QUOTE (librablonde @ 26/02/2013, 09:14 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I had a similar expansion of my family at a fast rate: 4 years ago I was single and a foster carer to 2 kids, I then met my DP who had 2 young DS's, then 2 more siblings to my foster kids were born and placed in foster care with me, then I moved in with my DP and her kids 8 months ago. So I went from 3 people in my family to 8 people in the space of 4 years. Sometimes I still reel from the shock of it all, but most of the time it's great. You really do learn to adjust very quickly and change your priorities. For example: my 2 eldest foster kids used to have a bath, story and special wind-down time with me every single night. Now they bathe 2-3 times a week and getting a bedtime story less often. My house used to be very clean and orderly, now it's cluttered and tidy but not always clean. I used to have much more time for social events and "me" time, now I have very little of that time.

However, I wouldn't change it for anything. Our family is large, loud and we love each other. More kids means more squabbles to sort out but more kids to play with. I now drive a 8-seater van instead of my groovy little vintage car but I can fit so much stuff in that van when I need to when I get some great time to do "fun shopping". I couldn't fit awesome op-shop furniture finds in my old car.  Now my kids crave one-on-one time with me and our time together is extremely valued by them. They rarely ruin that time with naughty behaviour and we have brilliant memories of that time. When I do a head-count of all the kids trailing along with me when we're walking along the street I feel totally satisfied and happy that everyone is where they should be and that this is our life. It's not easy, rarely cruisey, but always interesting.

OP, I think you can cope with 5 kids if you set your mind to it and just choose to let yourself and your priorities change. The problems start when parents think their life isn't going to change that much and resent having a large family when it does. You will probably have a less tidy house, you may have to stretch your dollars further, you might not drive a cool car. But so what?? I think a large family is what you make it: either something fun and loving or something fraught and stressful. You can do it, OP. Set yourself up some excellent routines now, set some goals for the next 7.5 months before the baby arrives and make sure you have supportive family and friends around you if possible. It's very do-able.


Oh thank you so much. I made an appointment this morning with a counselling service to try and get my head around this. I'm still freaking out so much and with little support from family and friends I've been leaning toward a medical termination but everything you just said was how I imagined a big family could be. I know it can be a romantic notion at times but I also think family = love. And I think about how wonderful having 5 children will be at every stage in my life. Imagine all the wonderful grandchildren!!!

But I'm getting ahead of myself. Thank you for your post. It was JUST what I needed to hear to gain back a bit of positivity xxx




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Win $1000 with Sea-Bands!

Three lucky fans can win a Sea-Band prize pack valued at over $1000 each, which includes two Sea-Bands plus a $1000 Eftpos gift card!

Misery loves Facebook

Facebook users are often criticised for only showing the positive, fun parts of their lives. But what about when it swings the other way, when someone uses it for the purposes of ranting about their children all the time, never posting anything positive?

Toddler's adorable impersonation of pregnant mum

Little Ellis has noticed his mum is walking differently lately, and his impersonation of her is hilarious.

'Forgotten baby syndrome' can happen to any one of us

When my third child was two months old, I strapped her into her car seat, then promptly forgot all about her. But she survived, unharmed, because it was winter, and I was lucky.

Join the Real Mums Test Drive Team

Five mums or mums-to-be will join the EB Test Drive Team and discover great items at an exclusive Big W event. (Sydney only.)

Ten things I've learned about motherhood

Never take a good night's sleep for granted. There is no logic like toddler logic. Standing on Lego hurts every time. These are the truths of parenthood.

Parenting past the toddler years: what's next?

Your baby has grown into a toddler, and now your toddler is fast approaching the preschooler stage. What can you expect as a parent?

Tips on what to pack in your hospital bag

Before giving birth I read countless lists, ended up overpacking just a little, and now know what I'll actually want to pack next time.

New app keeps tabs on your kids at childcare

Popular new technology lets parents know what their children are up to at childcare - but not everyone is a fan.

21 things I love about newborns

There?s an irresistible magic about newborns. Of course they're not all smiles and rainbows, but they are undeniably cute and remarkable in so, so many ways.

Kid-friendly hairdressers: who says haircuts can?t be fun?

I?ve found some salons who boast setups ideal for children ? you name it, they?ve thought of it. All are designed to make haircuts fun rather than stressful.

Labour pain relief may reduce risk of postnatal depression: study

Postnatal depression is a complex condition, but researchers say pain relief during labour may help some women.

Why we need better support for men after miscarriage

In a recent study, 85 per cent of men admitted feeling sadness after their partner miscarried, but almost half said they didn't share their feelings at all. What can be done to help them?

Mum in business: Kristy Chong

Kristy Chong is the managing director of Australian-made Modibodi underwear and a mum to Lucas, 6, Jason, 4, and Isaac, 6 months. She shares her advice for other mums thinking about starting their own businesses.

From toddler to preschooler: a developmental roadmap

So your toddler is growing up and will soon be entering the preschooler years. Here are a few ways to frame their development that will help you understand what?s going in those beautiful, funny, clever little heads of theirs.

Mum sacrifices an eye for her unborn baby

Motherhood is full of sacrifices, but this woman has made a life-altering one - and her baby hasn't even been born.

A grandparent by any other name

A growing number of grandparents are shunning tradition and going against conventional names - but a grandparent by any other name still gives the same awesome cuddles and kisses.

Photographer captures the beauty of adoption

The love of a family is usually tough to capture on camera. This is an exception.

When labour just doesn't happen

After three healthy kids, I can?t help feeling I?ve been a little ripped off. I missed out on something I had always wanted to experience, and now I?ll never get the chance.

Be careful what you say, your baby is listening

The importance of speaking to your baby even if they are not old enough to answer back has been highlighted by new research.

Share the little things that make you smile

We're giving away a Mountain Buggy nano, the ultimate travel stroller - and here are some of the great entries so far.

Win a Mountain Buggy nano

We?re giving away the new Mountain Buggy Nano - the lightweight travel buggy! So show us the little things that make you smile for your chance to win.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win a Mountain Buggy nano

We?re giving away the new Mountain Buggy Nano - the lightweight travel buggy! So show us the little things that make you smile for your chance to win.

Be careful what you say, your baby is listening

The importance of speaking to your baby even if they are not old enough to answer back has been highlighted by new research.

Win $1000 with Sea-Bands!

Three lucky fans can win a Sea-Band prize pack valued at over $1000 each, which includes two Sea-Bands plus a $1000 Eftpos gift card!

The beautiful moment a baby was born at the side of a road

It's not where she expected to give birth, but mum Corrine Cinatl is delighted that her daughter's roadside arrival was captured in a series of beautiful photos.

Doctor sings first Happy Birthday to newborns

His job is to deliver babies, but this US obstetrician also has a unique way of celebrating the miracle of life.

Join the Real Mums Test Drive Team

Five mums or mums-to-be will join the EB Test Drive Team and discover great items at an exclusive Big W event. (Sydney only.)

The Nappy Collective starts new drive

It's that time of year when the dedicated volunteers at The Nappy Collective do their bit to help out mums and children in need - and they need your help.

Baby shower cake wrecks

From misshapen cake babies to questionable text, from odd colour choices to internal organ recreation, these are the baby shower cakes that taste forgot.

Photographer captures the beauty of adoption

The love of a family is usually tough to capture on camera. This is an exception.

Pregnancy progression photo ideas

Want to record your pregnancy as your belly grows? Here are some creative, fun ideas for photo shoots along the way.

The myths and facts about "normal" breastfeeding

When it comes to successful breastfeeding, there is a wide variety to what is "normal", according to new research.

Tin can craft and DIY ideas

Got a few old formula, Milo or coffee cans around the house? Use these fantastic upcycling ideas to create items for around the house and yard.

Dads meet their newborn for the first time

Emotional photos of two fathers meeting their newborn son have resonated with viewers worldwide, attracting thousands of Facebook likes and shares.

Skin safety isn't just a summer worry

Lax about the slip slop slap with your kids as weather turns cooler? Here's a reminder as to why we have to remain vigilant for our children?s future health.

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

Creative sleeping baby photoshoots

See how some parents and photographers have captured sleeping babies in unusual positions and using different props.

DIY kitchen and food hacks

DIY your way to a better kitchen and make cooking easier with our clever hacks. (Some content reproduced with permission from mashable.com.)

Winter warmers for babies and toddlers

Your baby or toddler will be nice and snug in these beautiful and fun winter pieces. Most are hand-made or knitted, and they're all designed to keep your little one toastie - and adorable!

 

Mind, body, beauty, life

Making time for me

We look at your wellbeing, covering health, relationships, beauty and fashion, mind and body.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.