Jump to content

RSVP Etiquette
Should I chase RSVPs?


  • Please log in to reply
37 replies to this topic

#1 crd

Posted 23 February 2013 - 11:28 PM

Hi all,

I apologise if this topic has already been thrashed out, I don't spend that much time on EB.

I was just after a little help before I commit a social faux pas.

If you don't RSVP, would that mean you've genuinely forgotten, can go and wouldn't mind a reminder. Would it mean you can't go but you wouldn't mind being chased up, or would it mean you are available, really don't want to go and you are hoping that if you ignore it, it will go away  happy.gif

I guess I'm wondering, should I chase people that haven't given a RSVP by the required date, or should I assume they are not coming? Would you think it rude if someone hassled you for a response?

Thanks for your help!

#2 Black Velvet

Posted 23 February 2013 - 11:45 PM

I chase up those who haven't RSVPed. I think they are the rude ones (unless they have genuinely forgotten).

#3 envs

Posted 23 February 2013 - 11:53 PM

I am terrible with RSVP. My phone and the invite never seem to be in the dame place when I am able to send the RSVP....

I hate talking on the phone, but feel bad just texting a response, so I procrastinate...until RSVP time comes and goes

Please don't think people like me are being rude intentionally and it would be very welcome to receive a reminder : )

#4 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 23 February 2013 - 11:56 PM

I think it's rude not to make the effort to RSVP, so if people don't bother RSVPing I just count them as not coming.

#5 NotBitzerMaloney

Posted 24 February 2013 - 12:06 AM

Could be any of those, so do a no pressure "just verifying you can't make it" follow up, if you want to.

#6 Gudrun

Posted 24 February 2013 - 12:21 AM

It just means they haven't answered and they should have.  If you need to know numbers then you'll need to chase them up.  They may or may not intend coming or if they're like my sister and just don't RSVP at all to keep the options open.  (Not charming,  wink.gif )

#7 Mozzie1

Posted 24 February 2013 - 12:40 AM

I chased everyone who didn't RSVP to our wedding. Turns out one of my best friends never got his invite, and assumed he hadn't made the cut! Always follow up.

#8 JustBeige

Posted 24 February 2013 - 05:47 AM

Depends on the event, but I usually chase if its a catered or numbered event.

Its incredibly rude to not rsvp, there is no excuse when you have received  an invitation. Unfortunately it happens a lot these days.

#9 seayork2002

Posted 24 February 2013 - 09:04 AM

I would hope I would remember but if not I would have no issues at all with a reminder I would just reply then, I guess if you are not sure only chase if you need to know for number sake (so you don't have to pay for no shows) just assume they are not showing, if you do chase and they have a problem with that then they really are rude!

#10 Guest_Dinah_Harris_*

Posted 24 February 2013 - 09:09 AM

I assume they are not coming.   If they can't be bothered RSVP'ing, in all honesty,  I don't want them there.

#11 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 24 February 2013 - 09:10 AM

OP, if you have mobile phone numbers of the people who haven't responded yet, just send a quick text saying that you haven't yet heard from them but need to have firm numbers, are they coming or not.

You'll probably get a few apologies along with the quick reply RSVPs

QUOTE (envs @ 23/02/2013, 11:53 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I am terrible with RSVP. My phone and the invite never seem to be in the dame place when I am able to send the RSVP....

I hate talking on the phone, but feel bad just texting a response, so I procrastinate...until RSVP time comes and goes

Please don't think people like me are being rude intentionally and it would be very welcome to receive a reminder : )

I prefer text RSVPs, that way I just check my phone to see who has said yes or no.  And it's better to text than not to RSVP.

#12 EsmeLennox

Posted 24 February 2013 - 09:12 AM

I assume they aren't coming, but in my case it would genuinely mean I have forgotten, so you could call me and say 'you coming or what?' And then I would go 'oh bugger, totally forgot, I am soooo sorry...'

Does that help you...no, didn't think so...

#13 wish*upon*a*star

Posted 24 February 2013 - 09:13 AM

QUOTE (Dinah_Harris @ 24/02/2013, 10:09 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I assume they are not coming.   If they can't be bothered RSVP'ing, in all honesty,  I don't want them there.


Me too,I find people not RSVPing really rude. I don't remind people, if they can't find the few minutes to reply why should I chase them up.

#14 Sunny003

Posted 24 February 2013 - 09:14 AM

I'd call/text & ask. Better that than to have non rsvp'ers show up on the day

#15 Bel Rowley

Posted 24 February 2013 - 09:25 AM

I text or email to check, I know sometimes people genuinely forget, meaning to RSVP but losing track of the date. For something like a wedding I do think it's extremely rude, when numbers are so important. For a casual birthday party at home I'm not too fussed and would allow for enough food etc in case they happen to show.

#16 Fr0g

Posted 24 February 2013 - 09:28 AM

I follow up with a text.

They're invited in the first place because I actually want them at my function/ party - it's easy to flick a quick text;"Hi xxxx, hoping you can make it to my party this Saturday, please let me know if you can, cheers, Frog".

Edited by FrogIsAFrogIsAFrog, 24 February 2013 - 09:29 AM.


#17 niggles

Posted 24 February 2013 - 09:31 AM

I really appreciate the reminder if I've forgotten to RSVP but don't expect it. I would also be happy for the host to assume I'm not coming, since I haven't told them I am coming. I don't tend to show up without RSVPing but I am notorious for forgetting to RSVP early.

#18 yellowtulips74

Posted 24 February 2013 - 09:35 AM

When one of my daughters was little, we had a party at home and I couldn't remember if one girl (let's call her Mary) had rsvp'd or not -lots of mums would stop me at the school gate and rsvp verbally - and I just couldn't remember so I made sure there were enough supplies.  Home party, didn't really matter.

BUT, 30 minutes before the party one of the other mums realised her twins had two invitations - one was for both twins and the other was for Mary!  They'd had a playdate after school the day the invitations went out, and Mary had taken her invite out of the parent communication folder and left it at the twins' house.

So they never got it!  The twins' mum called Mary's mum but with 30 minutes notice they weren't able to come.  I WISH I'd checked!!

At our new school they have a policy - ALL invitations must be mailed or emailed directly.  Good policy!

But I would still check because you never know if the invitation actually arrived.

#19 Chchgirl

Posted 24 February 2013 - 09:41 AM

After the many years experience I have had with kids parties and lack of rsvp's, I never chase them up. I don't have phone numbers to chase them up anyway.

I assume if somebody doesn't let me know, they are not coming. I have only had one person turn up after years of parties, with a sibling as well. They got a good earful!

#20 CallMeFeral

Posted 24 February 2013 - 09:47 AM

RSVP for me means I've either forgotten it's on, or have actually bookmarked it and am planning to go, but have forgotten to say so. If I know I can't go, I usually reply straight away. Even if I don't want to go, I would reply no with a made up excuse.
So if I haven't replied, follow up is very welcome!

#21 ginger72

Posted 24 February 2013 - 09:50 AM

QUOTE (Mozzie1 @ 24/02/2013, 01:40 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I chased everyone who didn't RSVP to our wedding. Turns out one of my best friends never got his invite, and assumed he hadn't made the cut! Always follow up.

This happened to me as well.  I posted invitations to my wedding just before Christmas, and two or three got lost in the Christmas mail.  So a few good friends thought they weren't invited - terribly embarrassing!

It's definitely worth chasing RSVPs.  I don't believe everyone who forgets to RSVP is rude - people are just so busy these days it slips their minds.

#22 Spa Gonk

Posted 24 February 2013 - 12:10 PM

In terms of kids parties, I have discovered people not rsvping means they are not coming.  I have sent my kids to school with a note or these kids, just reminding them that the party is on in a few days and I have not heard if they are coming, please ring me to let me know either way.  I had one parent ring who had misplaced the invite, but still heard nothing from the others.

Even though I do home parties, I still get annoyed.  It means I am doing all the catering and organising, and really have eater things to do than make up party bags and party activities for people who won't be there.

#23 Chchgirl

Posted 24 February 2013 - 01:16 PM

I think weddings and christenings are different, I had everyone rsvp either way to mine but I would give them a reminder as I would know who I am inviting and all are close.

#24 Ally'smum

Posted 24 February 2013 - 01:41 PM

We have had people not receive invitations from us and wouldn't have known if I hadn't chased them up.

Similarly we were invited to an engagement party, never received the invitation and the people hosting it didn't follow up with us, just assumed we were too rude to rsvp.

I would always follow up because you never know what has happened, no need to assume the worst of anyone!


We have had people not receive invitations from us and wouldn't have known if I hadn't chased them up.

Similarly we were invited to an engagement party, never received the invitation and the people hosting it didn't follow up with us, just assumed we were too rude to rsvp.

I would always follow up because you never know what has happened, no need to assume the worst of anyone!


#25 Lyra

Posted 24 February 2013 - 04:01 PM

QUOTE (Bel Rowley @ 24/02/2013, 10:25 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I text or email to check, I know sometimes people genuinely forget, meaning to RSVP but losing track of the date. For something like a wedding I do think it's extremely rude, when numbers are so important. For a casual birthday party at home I'm not too fussed and would allow for enough food etc in case they happen to show.



I'm like this too




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Wondersuit heaven: Bonds & Disney launch exclusive collection

Bonds and Disney fans with babies to buy for will be celebrating this news. Bonds and Disney have just released collaboration Wondersuits.

Perth hospital mistakes cancerous tumour for "behavioural issues"

When Naomi Holly, a mother of three, noticed her eight-month-old daughter Nora, was having difficulty crawling and standing up as normal, she knew there was something wrong.

Piano playing dad soothes son to sleep in moments

There's nothing more frustrating, or distressing to a parent than a sick child who can't  - or won't got to sleep. 

Lucky escape for mum and bub after snake found in couch

Perth mother Laurie Rushton Dyble was sitting on a recliner chair in her home holding her six-month-old son when her husband suddenly told her to get up and leave the room.

When your partner misses the birth

While no one wants their partner to miss their baby’s birth, it can happen. Here’s what to do if you find yourself in that situation.

Motherhood challenge: smug or just a bit of fun?

The #motherhoodchallenge sounds harmless, doesn't it? Some women disagree.

Who's the mum? Family photo goes viral

Last year, it was "The Dress". This year, it is a family photo that is breaking the internet.

5 easy meditation practices for beginners

So who's with me? You know meditating is one of the best things you can possibly do for yourself.

Woman to go on trial for being a bad housewife

An Italian woman could face up to six years in jail after her husband accused her of not doing enough cooking and cleaning at home.

Is the latest advice on women and drinking over the top?

While most expectant mums know to stop drinking when they’re pregnant, experts now warn women should stop drinking earlier than that. Is this necessary?

How household chores can double as a workout

If there's less than a slim chance you'll find time to get out for a jog or to hit the gym today, take heart in knowing that household chores contribute to the calorie equation.

I have no idea what I'm doing - and that's okay

Why don't we talk about the fact that when everything goes right, we may still feel completely lost, and certain that we have failed?

Dad warns of hair tourniquet danger after baby almost loses toe

A shocked father has shared his family's experience in a bid to warn other parents about the dangers of hair becoming entangled around a baby's toe.

Town welcomes first baby in 28 years

Since the 1980s, the Italian town of Ostana had not seen the birth of a single baby.

How to start teaching your kids road safety

It's something that can be taught as early as possible and reinforced as they get older and more mobile - even from toddlerhood.

Just announced: Bugaboo Cameleon³ Classic+ Collection update

Meet the brand new understated chic model from Bugaboo.

The emotional moment a mum hears her late son's heartbeat

It's been two and a half years since Heather Clark's seven-month-old son Lukas passed away.

Nine reasons why you have 'brain fog'

One minute your productivity is skyrocketing and the next you're sitting there trying to focus – just like that you draw blank, your brain, mush.

I had a caesarean and it was beautiful

Guess what? Despite not pushing him out, I cried, and my heart skipped, and I felt the rush of love and pride when I saw him for the first time.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Penny Wong

'The most hurtful argument in the marriage equality debate'

Labor frontbencher Penny Wong is used to to hearing arguments against same-sex marriage. But for Australia's most prominent gay politician, one hurts more than others.

Does exercise have to be fun to work?

Some things in life are inherently served with a big scoop of fun: balloons, bubbles, cupcakes to name but a few, but exercise?

Hair dye gives woman second-degree burns

She wanted a fresh colour for 2016, but instead she got chemical burns.

Kelly Slater saves mum and toddler from 'freak wave'

A Perth family has thanked US surfing "legend" Kelly Slater after the star saved a mother and a young toddler from "a freak wave" in Hawaii.

Apple recalls millions of power adapters

Tech giant instigates massive international recall of power point adapters due to risk of electric shock.

Toddler's adorable alphabet goes viral

It's impossible not to share this little boy's excitement  about the alphabet.

Tot's nighttime waking saves family's life

Like all tired parents, Monique and Kyle Ruppel were looking forward to the day their 15-month-old daughter Celia would start sleeping through the night. 

Australian mum gives birth to quintuplets

An Australian mum who has shared the ups and downs of carrying quintuplets has welcomed her five babies into the world.

Dad of four girls faints at gender reveal for fifth baby

It was all too much excitement for this dad.

The simple way you can help your baby's language development

The way parents respond to their child's babbling can shape how their infants communicate.

Zika virus is 'spreading explosively': WHO

The World Health Organization announced that it will convene an emergency meeting about Zika.

National database recommended for child protection cases

Baby Ebony was repeatedly failed by the agencies tasked with her protection before her horrific death at the hands of her father, South Australia's deputy coroner says.

Hospitals put babies at risk by ignoring policy on elective caesareans

Thirty-eight weeks or 39? Non-medical factors are pushing women to have elective caesareans earlier than official guidelines - and hospitals are playing along.

Police help deliver baby on busy roadside

Two police officers delivered more than a traffic fine by the side of a busy Melbourne road yesterday.

1D's Louis Tomlinson shares first photo of baby

One Direction's Louis Tomlinson has posted the first picture of his baby boy, Freddie, on social media.

 

FREE TICKET

See Hi-5 LIVE in Melbourne!

Get your ticket to The Essential Baby & Toddler Show - register online now!

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.