Jump to content

RSVP Etiquette
Should I chase RSVPs?


  • Please log in to reply
38 replies to this topic

#1 crd

Posted 23 February 2013 - 11:28 PM

Hi all,

I apologise if this topic has already been thrashed out, I don't spend that much time on EB.

I was just after a little help before I commit a social faux pas.

If you don't RSVP, would that mean you've genuinely forgotten, can go and wouldn't mind a reminder. Would it mean you can't go but you wouldn't mind being chased up, or would it mean you are available, really don't want to go and you are hoping that if you ignore it, it will go away  happy.gif

I guess I'm wondering, should I chase people that haven't given a RSVP by the required date, or should I assume they are not coming? Would you think it rude if someone hassled you for a response?

Thanks for your help!

#2 Mrs Bouquet

Posted 23 February 2013 - 11:45 PM

I chase up those who haven't RSVPed. I think they are the rude ones (unless they have genuinely forgotten).

#3 envs

Posted 23 February 2013 - 11:53 PM

I am terrible with RSVP. My phone and the invite never seem to be in the dame place when I am able to send the RSVP....

I hate talking on the phone, but feel bad just texting a response, so I procrastinate...until RSVP time comes and goes

Please don't think people like me are being rude intentionally and it would be very welcome to receive a reminder : )

#4 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 23 February 2013 - 11:56 PM

I think it's rude not to make the effort to RSVP, so if people don't bother RSVPing I just count them as not coming.

#5 NotBitzerMaloney

Posted 24 February 2013 - 12:06 AM

Could be any of those, so do a no pressure "just verifying you can't make it" follow up, if you want to.

#6 Gudrun

Posted 24 February 2013 - 12:21 AM

It just means they haven't answered and they should have.  If you need to know numbers then you'll need to chase them up.  They may or may not intend coming or if they're like my sister and just don't RSVP at all to keep the options open.  (Not charming,  wink.gif )

#7 Feral Mozzie

Posted 24 February 2013 - 12:40 AM

I chased everyone who didn't RSVP to our wedding. Turns out one of my best friends never got his invite, and assumed he hadn't made the cut! Always follow up.

#8 JustBeige

Posted 24 February 2013 - 05:47 AM

Depends on the event, but I usually chase if its a catered or numbered event.

Its incredibly rude to not rsvp, there is no excuse when you have received  an invitation. Unfortunately it happens a lot these days.

#9 seayork2002

Posted 24 February 2013 - 09:04 AM

I would hope I would remember but if not I would have no issues at all with a reminder I would just reply then, I guess if you are not sure only chase if you need to know for number sake (so you don't have to pay for no shows) just assume they are not showing, if you do chase and they have a problem with that then they really are rude!

#10 Guest_Dinah_Harris_*

Posted 24 February 2013 - 09:09 AM

I assume they are not coming.   If they can't be bothered RSVP'ing, in all honesty,  I don't want them there.

#11 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 24 February 2013 - 09:10 AM

OP, if you have mobile phone numbers of the people who haven't responded yet, just send a quick text saying that you haven't yet heard from them but need to have firm numbers, are they coming or not.

You'll probably get a few apologies along with the quick reply RSVPs

QUOTE (envs @ 23/02/2013, 11:53 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I am terrible with RSVP. My phone and the invite never seem to be in the dame place when I am able to send the RSVP....

I hate talking on the phone, but feel bad just texting a response, so I procrastinate...until RSVP time comes and goes

Please don't think people like me are being rude intentionally and it would be very welcome to receive a reminder : )

I prefer text RSVPs, that way I just check my phone to see who has said yes or no.  And it's better to text than not to RSVP.

#12 EsmeLennox

Posted 24 February 2013 - 09:12 AM

I assume they aren't coming, but in my case it would genuinely mean I have forgotten, so you could call me and say 'you coming or what?' And then I would go 'oh bugger, totally forgot, I am soooo sorry...'

Does that help you...no, didn't think so...

#13 wish*upon*a*star

Posted 24 February 2013 - 09:13 AM

QUOTE (Dinah_Harris @ 24/02/2013, 10:09 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I assume they are not coming.   If they can't be bothered RSVP'ing, in all honesty,  I don't want them there.


Me too,I find people not RSVPing really rude. I don't remind people, if they can't find the few minutes to reply why should I chase them up.

#14 Sunny003

Posted 24 February 2013 - 09:14 AM

I'd call/text & ask. Better that than to have non rsvp'ers show up on the day

#15 Bel Rowley

Posted 24 February 2013 - 09:25 AM

I text or email to check, I know sometimes people genuinely forget, meaning to RSVP but losing track of the date. For something like a wedding I do think it's extremely rude, when numbers are so important. For a casual birthday party at home I'm not too fussed and would allow for enough food etc in case they happen to show.

#16 Fr0g

Posted 24 February 2013 - 09:28 AM

I follow up with a text.

They're invited in the first place because I actually want them at my function/ party - it's easy to flick a quick text;"Hi xxxx, hoping you can make it to my party this Saturday, please let me know if you can, cheers, Frog".

Edited by FrogIsAFrogIsAFrog, 24 February 2013 - 09:29 AM.


#17 niggles

Posted 24 February 2013 - 09:31 AM

I really appreciate the reminder if I've forgotten to RSVP but don't expect it. I would also be happy for the host to assume I'm not coming, since I haven't told them I am coming. I don't tend to show up without RSVPing but I am notorious for forgetting to RSVP early.

#18 yellowtulips74

Posted 24 February 2013 - 09:35 AM

When one of my daughters was little, we had a party at home and I couldn't remember if one girl (let's call her Mary) had rsvp'd or not -lots of mums would stop me at the school gate and rsvp verbally - and I just couldn't remember so I made sure there were enough supplies.  Home party, didn't really matter.

BUT, 30 minutes before the party one of the other mums realised her twins had two invitations - one was for both twins and the other was for Mary!  They'd had a playdate after school the day the invitations went out, and Mary had taken her invite out of the parent communication folder and left it at the twins' house.

So they never got it!  The twins' mum called Mary's mum but with 30 minutes notice they weren't able to come.  I WISH I'd checked!!

At our new school they have a policy - ALL invitations must be mailed or emailed directly.  Good policy!

But I would still check because you never know if the invitation actually arrived.

#19 Chchgirl

Posted 24 February 2013 - 09:41 AM

After the many years experience I have had with kids parties and lack of rsvp's, I never chase them up. I don't have phone numbers to chase them up anyway.

I assume if somebody doesn't let me know, they are not coming. I have only had one person turn up after years of parties, with a sibling as well. They got a good earful!

#20 CallMeFeral

Posted 24 February 2013 - 09:47 AM

RSVP for me means I've either forgotten it's on, or have actually bookmarked it and am planning to go, but have forgotten to say so. If I know I can't go, I usually reply straight away. Even if I don't want to go, I would reply no with a made up excuse.
So if I haven't replied, follow up is very welcome!

#21 ginger72

Posted 24 February 2013 - 09:50 AM

QUOTE (Mozzie1 @ 24/02/2013, 01:40 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I chased everyone who didn't RSVP to our wedding. Turns out one of my best friends never got his invite, and assumed he hadn't made the cut! Always follow up.

This happened to me as well.  I posted invitations to my wedding just before Christmas, and two or three got lost in the Christmas mail.  So a few good friends thought they weren't invited - terribly embarrassing!

It's definitely worth chasing RSVPs.  I don't believe everyone who forgets to RSVP is rude - people are just so busy these days it slips their minds.

#22 Spa Gonk

Posted 24 February 2013 - 12:10 PM

In terms of kids parties, I have discovered people not rsvping means they are not coming.  I have sent my kids to school with a note or these kids, just reminding them that the party is on in a few days and I have not heard if they are coming, please ring me to let me know either way.  I had one parent ring who had misplaced the invite, but still heard nothing from the others.

Even though I do home parties, I still get annoyed.  It means I am doing all the catering and organising, and really have eater things to do than make up party bags and party activities for people who won't be there.

#23 Chchgirl

Posted 24 February 2013 - 01:16 PM

I think weddings and christenings are different, I had everyone rsvp either way to mine but I would give them a reminder as I would know who I am inviting and all are close.

#24 Ally'smum

Posted 24 February 2013 - 01:41 PM

We have had people not receive invitations from us and wouldn't have known if I hadn't chased them up.

Similarly we were invited to an engagement party, never received the invitation and the people hosting it didn't follow up with us, just assumed we were too rude to rsvp.

I would always follow up because you never know what has happened, no need to assume the worst of anyone!


We have had people not receive invitations from us and wouldn't have known if I hadn't chased them up.

Similarly we were invited to an engagement party, never received the invitation and the people hosting it didn't follow up with us, just assumed we were too rude to rsvp.

I would always follow up because you never know what has happened, no need to assume the worst of anyone!


#25 Lyra

Posted 24 February 2013 - 04:01 PM

QUOTE (Bel Rowley @ 24/02/2013, 10:25 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I text or email to check, I know sometimes people genuinely forget, meaning to RSVP but losing track of the date. For something like a wedding I do think it's extremely rude, when numbers are so important. For a casual birthday party at home I'm not too fussed and would allow for enough food etc in case they happen to show.



I'm like this too




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Clever panda fakes pregnancy

News that a giant panda was pregnant prompted much excitement, but it appears there were never any cubs on the way.

'I survived placenta percreta'

When writing her birth plan, Simone Pavil included an item most women wouldn?t even think about: what should happen if she was put on life support. The mum had the potentially fatal condition placenta accreta.

Managing personal space as a mum

In the midst of the early parenting years, our bodies and minds can seemingly be overtaken by our offspring. How can we balance our need for personal space with the needs of our children?

'If love could have saved you, you'd have never left'

The words "spontaneous abortion" on the hospital paperwork really got to me. My baby died; I didn't spontaneously decide to abort him.

15 classic Aussie ads

Watch some of the classic Australian ads of the 80s, 90s and 00s, and remember the catchphrases and jingles we all used to know so well ...

For and against

Should Blue Ivy have been at the VMAs?

Many were quick to condemn Beyonce and Jay Z after appearing on stage at the MTV Video Music Awards with their two-year-old daughter, but others thought it was a sweet family moment. What do you think?

Toddler attacked at gym creche

Two-year-old girl Eva Ness was left with a black eye and bite marks on her face and body after an altercation with an older child at a health club's child-minding facilities. Now her parents are calling for the centre to be closed.

Pregnancy a tricky matter of timing for FIFO couples

Manipulating rosters, coordinating 'conjugal' visits, working on site with your partner; getting pregnant can prove stressful for FIFO workers.

WIN a $100 RedBalloon for Dad

Enter now for your chance to win 1 of 5 $100 RedBalloon experience vouchers. Helping you make Dad's Day EXTRA HAPPY.

Carseats have twice as many germs as a toilet

Most parents know their child's carseat is not always squeaky clean, but they might not realise just how dirty it really is.

Doctors remove foetus from 'medical marvel' after 36 years

Doctors in India have removed the skeleton of a foetus that had been inside a woman for 36 years.

Nine months in six seconds: new parents' Vine clip a hit

We?ve seen some memorable time-lapse pregnancy and birth announcement videos before. Now one new couple has taken it to the extreme, capturing it all in just a six-second Vine video.

Sonia Kruger speaks of baby joy

Celebrity mum-to-be Sonia Kruger has spoken candidly about using donor eggs and IVF to fall pregnant at age 48.

Dressing to not impress: life through the eyes of a three-year-old

When it comes to getting dressed, my three-year-old has only one criterion: ?I don?t want to look beautiful.? And now I've worked out why.

Special nappies made with love for angel babies

Angel Baby Nappies make and provide tiny bereavement cloth nappies for pre-term stillborn babies and premature babies who pass away in the NICU.

Inside the brain of a tantruming toddler

What's going on in your child's mind in the lead-up to a tantrum? And what?s the best way to respond?

5 secrets to a long-lasting relationship

When it comes to keeping your relationship strong, it?s what you do - and not what you want - that really matters.

When 'furbabies' meet real babies

I am obsessed with my dogs, and can't imagine loving them any less once my baby arrives. But that doesn't stop everyone from telling me I will.

The least popular baby names of 2013

Looking for a baby name that?s nowhere near the top 10 ? or even the top 1000? Try the bottom five.

'I was so sleep deprived I crashed my car'

There are no laws regulating driving while tired, but statistics show that driver fatigue is one of the top three contributors to the road toll.

Win back some precious time and get FREE coupons

Membership to eBay's Bubs? Corner is free and includes a $10 coupon to spend on nappies each month - a win for multitasking mums!

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

WIN a $100 RedBalloon for Dad

Enter now for your chance to win 1 of 5 $100 RedBalloon experience vouchers. Helping you make Dad's Day EXTRA HAPPY.

Win back some precious time and get FREE coupons

Membership to eBay's Bubs? Corner is free and includes a $10 coupon to spend on nappies each month - a win for multitasking mums!

Do you suffer from Precious Firstborn Syndrome?

Testing ?no more tears? shampoo in your own eyes, warming cucumber sticks so they're not cold straight from the fridge, waking a sleeping baby to check they?re still breathing: these are all symptoms of Precious Firstborn Syndrome.

Ezra's tragic death not in vain, mum says

Little Ezra was a "Harry Houdini" who loved trying to escape the family home. Now, after his tragic death, his parents are doing what they can to help others.

7 mistakes old hands make with new babies

As I sat across the table from my friend ? me, a seasoned mother of three; her, a brand new mum ? I thought of all the mistakes an old-hand parent can make when visiting a newborn baby.

Video: When adults act like children

Ever wondered what would happen if adults were allowed to act like children? This dad's hilarious video clip will give you an idea of what life would be like.

Mums hit hardest as flu cases skyrocket

The number of confirmed cases of influenza in Australia has doubled the number for the same time last year - and women are 25 per cent more likely to get it.

The mum who had four babies in nine months

Feeling exhausted due to the demands of caring for a baby? Imagine the life of this mum, who gave birth to three boys and one girl in just nine months.

Everything baby at Big W

Lowest prices on everything baby, only at Big W. Sale starts August 4 and ends August 20 2014.

Going viral

Weirdest pregnancy products

From pee stick keepers to stylish sick bags, there are some very strange inventions out there for pregnant women.

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

 

Mind, body, beauty, life

Making time for me

We look at your wellbeing, covering health, relationships, beauty and fashion, mind and body.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.