Jump to content

RSVP Etiquette
Should I chase RSVPs?


  • Please log in to reply
37 replies to this topic

#1 crd

Posted 23 February 2013 - 11:28 PM

Hi all,

I apologise if this topic has already been thrashed out, I don't spend that much time on EB.

I was just after a little help before I commit a social faux pas.

If you don't RSVP, would that mean you've genuinely forgotten, can go and wouldn't mind a reminder. Would it mean you can't go but you wouldn't mind being chased up, or would it mean you are available, really don't want to go and you are hoping that if you ignore it, it will go away  happy.gif

I guess I'm wondering, should I chase people that haven't given a RSVP by the required date, or should I assume they are not coming? Would you think it rude if someone hassled you for a response?

Thanks for your help!

#2 Black Velvet

Posted 23 February 2013 - 11:45 PM

I chase up those who haven't RSVPed. I think they are the rude ones (unless they have genuinely forgotten).

#3 envs

Posted 23 February 2013 - 11:53 PM

I am terrible with RSVP. My phone and the invite never seem to be in the dame place when I am able to send the RSVP....

I hate talking on the phone, but feel bad just texting a response, so I procrastinate...until RSVP time comes and goes

Please don't think people like me are being rude intentionally and it would be very welcome to receive a reminder : )

#4 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 23 February 2013 - 11:56 PM

I think it's rude not to make the effort to RSVP, so if people don't bother RSVPing I just count them as not coming.

#5 NotBitzerMaloney

Posted 24 February 2013 - 12:06 AM

Could be any of those, so do a no pressure "just verifying you can't make it" follow up, if you want to.

#6 Gudrun

Posted 24 February 2013 - 12:21 AM

It just means they haven't answered and they should have.  If you need to know numbers then you'll need to chase them up.  They may or may not intend coming or if they're like my sister and just don't RSVP at all to keep the options open.  (Not charming,  wink.gif )

#7 Feral Mozzie

Posted 24 February 2013 - 12:40 AM

I chased everyone who didn't RSVP to our wedding. Turns out one of my best friends never got his invite, and assumed he hadn't made the cut! Always follow up.

#8 JustBeige

Posted 24 February 2013 - 05:47 AM

Depends on the event, but I usually chase if its a catered or numbered event.

Its incredibly rude to not rsvp, there is no excuse when you have received  an invitation. Unfortunately it happens a lot these days.

#9 seayork2002

Posted 24 February 2013 - 09:04 AM

I would hope I would remember but if not I would have no issues at all with a reminder I would just reply then, I guess if you are not sure only chase if you need to know for number sake (so you don't have to pay for no shows) just assume they are not showing, if you do chase and they have a problem with that then they really are rude!

#10 Guest_Dinah_Harris_*

Posted 24 February 2013 - 09:09 AM

I assume they are not coming.   If they can't be bothered RSVP'ing, in all honesty,  I don't want them there.

#11 Queen Yoda

Posted 24 February 2013 - 09:10 AM

OP, if you have mobile phone numbers of the people who haven't responded yet, just send a quick text saying that you haven't yet heard from them but need to have firm numbers, are they coming or not.

You'll probably get a few apologies along with the quick reply RSVPs

QUOTE (envs @ 23/02/2013, 11:53 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I am terrible with RSVP. My phone and the invite never seem to be in the dame place when I am able to send the RSVP....

I hate talking on the phone, but feel bad just texting a response, so I procrastinate...until RSVP time comes and goes

Please don't think people like me are being rude intentionally and it would be very welcome to receive a reminder : )

I prefer text RSVPs, that way I just check my phone to see who has said yes or no.  And it's better to text than not to RSVP.

#12 EsmeLennox

Posted 24 February 2013 - 09:12 AM

I assume they aren't coming, but in my case it would genuinely mean I have forgotten, so you could call me and say 'you coming or what?' And then I would go 'oh bugger, totally forgot, I am soooo sorry...'

Does that help you...no, didn't think so...

#13 wish*upon*a*star

Posted 24 February 2013 - 09:13 AM

QUOTE (Dinah_Harris @ 24/02/2013, 10:09 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I assume they are not coming.   If they can't be bothered RSVP'ing, in all honesty,  I don't want them there.


Me too,I find people not RSVPing really rude. I don't remind people, if they can't find the few minutes to reply why should I chase them up.

#14 Sunny003

Posted 24 February 2013 - 09:14 AM

I'd call/text & ask. Better that than to have non rsvp'ers show up on the day

#15 Bel Rowley

Posted 24 February 2013 - 09:25 AM

I text or email to check, I know sometimes people genuinely forget, meaning to RSVP but losing track of the date. For something like a wedding I do think it's extremely rude, when numbers are so important. For a casual birthday party at home I'm not too fussed and would allow for enough food etc in case they happen to show.

#16 Fr0g

Posted 24 February 2013 - 09:28 AM

I follow up with a text.

They're invited in the first place because I actually want them at my function/ party - it's easy to flick a quick text;"Hi xxxx, hoping you can make it to my party this Saturday, please let me know if you can, cheers, Frog".

Edited by FrogIsAFrogIsAFrog, 24 February 2013 - 09:29 AM.


#17 niggles

Posted 24 February 2013 - 09:31 AM

I really appreciate the reminder if I've forgotten to RSVP but don't expect it. I would also be happy for the host to assume I'm not coming, since I haven't told them I am coming. I don't tend to show up without RSVPing but I am notorious for forgetting to RSVP early.

#18 yellowtulips74

Posted 24 February 2013 - 09:35 AM

When one of my daughters was little, we had a party at home and I couldn't remember if one girl (let's call her Mary) had rsvp'd or not -lots of mums would stop me at the school gate and rsvp verbally - and I just couldn't remember so I made sure there were enough supplies.  Home party, didn't really matter.

BUT, 30 minutes before the party one of the other mums realised her twins had two invitations - one was for both twins and the other was for Mary!  They'd had a playdate after school the day the invitations went out, and Mary had taken her invite out of the parent communication folder and left it at the twins' house.

So they never got it!  The twins' mum called Mary's mum but with 30 minutes notice they weren't able to come.  I WISH I'd checked!!

At our new school they have a policy - ALL invitations must be mailed or emailed directly.  Good policy!

But I would still check because you never know if the invitation actually arrived.

#19 Chchgirl

Posted 24 February 2013 - 09:41 AM

After the many years experience I have had with kids parties and lack of rsvp's, I never chase them up. I don't have phone numbers to chase them up anyway.

I assume if somebody doesn't let me know, they are not coming. I have only had one person turn up after years of parties, with a sibling as well. They got a good earful!

#20 CallMeFeral

Posted 24 February 2013 - 09:47 AM

RSVP for me means I've either forgotten it's on, or have actually bookmarked it and am planning to go, but have forgotten to say so. If I know I can't go, I usually reply straight away. Even if I don't want to go, I would reply no with a made up excuse.
So if I haven't replied, follow up is very welcome!

#21 ginger72

Posted 24 February 2013 - 09:50 AM

QUOTE (Mozzie1 @ 24/02/2013, 01:40 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I chased everyone who didn't RSVP to our wedding. Turns out one of my best friends never got his invite, and assumed he hadn't made the cut! Always follow up.

This happened to me as well.  I posted invitations to my wedding just before Christmas, and two or three got lost in the Christmas mail.  So a few good friends thought they weren't invited - terribly embarrassing!

It's definitely worth chasing RSVPs.  I don't believe everyone who forgets to RSVP is rude - people are just so busy these days it slips their minds.

#22 Spa Gonk

Posted 24 February 2013 - 12:10 PM

In terms of kids parties, I have discovered people not rsvping means they are not coming.  I have sent my kids to school with a note or these kids, just reminding them that the party is on in a few days and I have not heard if they are coming, please ring me to let me know either way.  I had one parent ring who had misplaced the invite, but still heard nothing from the others.

Even though I do home parties, I still get annoyed.  It means I am doing all the catering and organising, and really have eater things to do than make up party bags and party activities for people who won't be there.

#23 Chchgirl

Posted 24 February 2013 - 01:16 PM

I think weddings and christenings are different, I had everyone rsvp either way to mine but I would give them a reminder as I would know who I am inviting and all are close.

#24 Ally'smum

Posted 24 February 2013 - 01:41 PM

We have had people not receive invitations from us and wouldn't have known if I hadn't chased them up.

Similarly we were invited to an engagement party, never received the invitation and the people hosting it didn't follow up with us, just assumed we were too rude to rsvp.

I would always follow up because you never know what has happened, no need to assume the worst of anyone!


We have had people not receive invitations from us and wouldn't have known if I hadn't chased them up.

Similarly we were invited to an engagement party, never received the invitation and the people hosting it didn't follow up with us, just assumed we were too rude to rsvp.

I would always follow up because you never know what has happened, no need to assume the worst of anyone!


#25 Lyra

Posted 24 February 2013 - 04:01 PM

QUOTE (Bel Rowley @ 24/02/2013, 10:25 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I text or email to check, I know sometimes people genuinely forget, meaning to RSVP but losing track of the date. For something like a wedding I do think it's extremely rude, when numbers are so important. For a casual birthday party at home I'm not too fussed and would allow for enough food etc in case they happen to show.



I'm like this too




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Get your FREE Baby & Toddler Show ticket!

Get your free ticket to the Sydney Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27 - register online now.

Win Love Child Season 1 & 2 on DVD

To celebrate the release of Love Child Season 2 on DVD from July 9, Essential Baby and Universal Sony Pictures Home Entertainment are giving away Love Child Season 1 & 2 on DVD to 13 lucky winners.

10 things I wish my pre-baby self knew

I look back at my pre-baby self and laugh at how ridiculously easy I actually had it. I remember complaining about how tired I was and how little time I had.

Creative ways to store your child's art

Ideas for storing your child's artworks have moved on from sticking them to the fridge door before guiltily dumping them in the bin.

Child abuse ignored because 'it's not your children': Waleed Aly

Waleed Aly takes apart the immigration law that's designed to "protect politicians"

How a newborn niece changed star Australian basketballer's life

In August 2013 star basketball Abby Bishop was 24-years-old and in the prime of her sporting career.

Guilt is my new shadow

No one warned me that when I gave birth there would be an additional side order of guilt.

12 brilliant Ikea hacks for kids’ rooms

Check out these creative upcycling ideas that transform regular Ikea items into something special for your little ones.

Child's nightmare about 'man with a light' turned out to be real

For three days, a three-year-old boy had been saying there was "a man with a light" outside his window at night.

Toilet truths after giving birth

The thought of going to the toilet after giving birth is often feared, but there are ways to make it less painful.

Woman asks strangers for $1 million to stop her having an abortion

An anonymous woman is taking an extreme moral and ethical stand by seeking $1 million in donations to prevent her going ahead with a planned abortion.

How a woman's dying wish made another woman a mum

"I kind of think about, 'What did I do beforehand? What kept me so busy back then?' Because now I'm really busy."

The parenting do-over: what six parents did differently second time around

In playgrounds across Australia, you can hear parents lamenting, "When we have our next baby I swear I won't be doing THAT again".

A solo birth, a wasp swarm and a forest fire: mum and baby's amazing story of survival

Desperate, out of petrol and low on food, a new mother lit a fire in the hope of attracting attention.

Boy found on swing died of hypothermia and dehydration, autopsy finds

The story was chilling and heartbreaking: a three-year-old boy was found dead in a Southern Maryland park, his mother pushing him on the swing.

Child's play and laughter help battle fatigue

Feeling fatigued? Uh-huh, thought as much. Join the queue.

Dad shares entertaining 'how to hold a baby' clip

For many new dads, their own child is the first baby they have ever held. So one dad has posted an instructive YouTube video titled "How to Hold a Baby".

The Australian baby with 100,000 Facebook fans

She may be only eight months old, but Egypt has already amassed more than 100,000 fans and received a letter from royalty - Hollywood royalty that is.

Tongue tie: what you need to know

Tongue and lip tie can lead to many problems for babies - and their parents. Here are the signs of tongue tie and how it's treated.

My daughter is small but that doesn't matter

My daughter may be small, but it's my job as her parent to refocus back where it belongs - on who she is as a person

Wet wipes linked to rise in allergic reactions

The government has issued a health warning after a rise in allergic skin reactions has been linked to a preservative found in some wet wipes.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

27 funny ultrasound pictures

Ultrasounds give you a look at your growing baby ... and sometimes what appears to their womb-buddy, or your bub in an amusing position.

What all parents should know about safe babywearing

A picture of Ryan Reynolds always gets the girls talking, and a recently shared photo has done exactly that - but this time, it's for all the wrong reasons.

Baby's head shape reveals potentially fatal condition

Thinking her baby just had an unusually shaped head, a mother was shocked to discover it was instead linked to a dangerous condition.

Why IVF success rates may not be what you think

Transparency, accountability and responsibilityare essential measures to protect IVF vulnerable patients.

Mother-in-law 'from hell' inspires survival guide

The happily ever after Nicola Milan had imagined wasn't to be – and she blames her mother-in-law.

Owning a pair of nail scissors does not make me a hairdresser

It's been a whole year since sleeping in until 10am. A whole year since having a peaceful shower.

The 83 children who were tragically let down in the last decade

Over a 10-year period, 83 children died from domestic violence abuse in NSW, with three quarters of the victims aged five years or under, the NSW Ombudsman has revealed.

Is it reasonable to expect your partner to give up drinking in pregnancy?

From the moment that I fell pregnant with my son, I realised just how much my life had already started to change.

Stroke victim joins class action against makers of popular contraceptive pill

"I was terrified I would always be this way. The pill needs to come with a much higher warning."

Sexy time

Why you should get excited about scheduling sex

Unfortunately, the belief that sex should always be spontaneous is a myth. It just isn't.

When newborn photoshoots get messy

When it comes to newborn photoshoots, it is all about the timing.

Expert Q&A: Gross motor skill development in toddlers and preschoolers

Dr Katie Heathershaw answers questions about jumping, toe walking, riding a bike and being pigeon toed.

'Samuel is our firstborn, and he will never be forgotten'

Having lost their firstborn at one day old, the Carrolls were overjoyed to welcome their daughter Isobel into the world a year later.

Dad takes miraculous catch while feeding baby

One American father has taken multitasking to a new level at a Cubs-Dodgers baseball game at Wrigley Field.

Name your baby Quinoa, win a $10K gift card

Choosing a name for your little bundle of joy is always a major decision. It can be something traditional, trendy, creative … or inspired by the menu of your favourite chain restaurant.

On the 10th anniversary of my son's death

This day marks a significant day. Today marks 10 years since I lost my son Kai.

'Help - my toddler hits me!'

My toddler has started hitting when he gets frustrated, is feeling ignored, or just thinks it might be fun.

The top 6 misleading parenting terms

From 'morning sickness' to 'the terrible twos', there are many parenting terms that are misleading.

When 'good' nannies go bad

While most nannies take pride in their work, there can be some who have a hidden side.

Woman hospitalised for skinny jeans injury

Beware: skinny jeans might be bad for your health.

Gauze seeding: the bacteria-breeding birth trend

A number of women having caesarean deliveries are now taking steps to give their baby a better 'microbiome' start in life.

Jimmy Fallon writes new children's book for dads

Jimmy Fallon, host of NBC's The Tonight Show, recently wrote a children's book about every father's secret wish for their baby's first word to be "dada" - not "mama".

28 names for babies born in winter

Looking for some baby name inspiration for a bub born during the colder months? Here are 28 options from around the world to consider.

 

FREE TICKET

Get your FREE ticket to the Baby & Toddler Show

Get your free ticket to the Sydney Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27 - register online now.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.