Jump to content

RSVP Etiquette
Should I chase RSVPs?


  • Please log in to reply
37 replies to this topic

#1 crd

Posted 23 February 2013 - 11:28 PM

Hi all,

I apologise if this topic has already been thrashed out, I don't spend that much time on EB.

I was just after a little help before I commit a social faux pas.

If you don't RSVP, would that mean you've genuinely forgotten, can go and wouldn't mind a reminder. Would it mean you can't go but you wouldn't mind being chased up, or would it mean you are available, really don't want to go and you are hoping that if you ignore it, it will go away  happy.gif

I guess I'm wondering, should I chase people that haven't given a RSVP by the required date, or should I assume they are not coming? Would you think it rude if someone hassled you for a response?

Thanks for your help!

#2 Black Velvet

Posted 23 February 2013 - 11:45 PM

I chase up those who haven't RSVPed. I think they are the rude ones (unless they have genuinely forgotten).

#3 envs

Posted 23 February 2013 - 11:53 PM

I am terrible with RSVP. My phone and the invite never seem to be in the dame place when I am able to send the RSVP....

I hate talking on the phone, but feel bad just texting a response, so I procrastinate...until RSVP time comes and goes

Please don't think people like me are being rude intentionally and it would be very welcome to receive a reminder : )

#4 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 23 February 2013 - 11:56 PM

I think it's rude not to make the effort to RSVP, so if people don't bother RSVPing I just count them as not coming.

#5 NotBitzerMaloney

Posted 24 February 2013 - 12:06 AM

Could be any of those, so do a no pressure "just verifying you can't make it" follow up, if you want to.

#6 Gudrun

Posted 24 February 2013 - 12:21 AM

It just means they haven't answered and they should have.  If you need to know numbers then you'll need to chase them up.  They may or may not intend coming or if they're like my sister and just don't RSVP at all to keep the options open.  (Not charming,  wink.gif )

#7 Mozzie1

Posted 24 February 2013 - 12:40 AM

I chased everyone who didn't RSVP to our wedding. Turns out one of my best friends never got his invite, and assumed he hadn't made the cut! Always follow up.

#8 JustBeige

Posted 24 February 2013 - 05:47 AM

Depends on the event, but I usually chase if its a catered or numbered event.

Its incredibly rude to not rsvp, there is no excuse when you have received  an invitation. Unfortunately it happens a lot these days.

#9 seayork2002

Posted 24 February 2013 - 09:04 AM

I would hope I would remember but if not I would have no issues at all with a reminder I would just reply then, I guess if you are not sure only chase if you need to know for number sake (so you don't have to pay for no shows) just assume they are not showing, if you do chase and they have a problem with that then they really are rude!

#10 Guest_Dinah_Harris_*

Posted 24 February 2013 - 09:09 AM

I assume they are not coming.   If they can't be bothered RSVP'ing, in all honesty,  I don't want them there.

#11 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 24 February 2013 - 09:10 AM

OP, if you have mobile phone numbers of the people who haven't responded yet, just send a quick text saying that you haven't yet heard from them but need to have firm numbers, are they coming or not.

You'll probably get a few apologies along with the quick reply RSVPs

QUOTE (envs @ 23/02/2013, 11:53 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I am terrible with RSVP. My phone and the invite never seem to be in the dame place when I am able to send the RSVP....

I hate talking on the phone, but feel bad just texting a response, so I procrastinate...until RSVP time comes and goes

Please don't think people like me are being rude intentionally and it would be very welcome to receive a reminder : )

I prefer text RSVPs, that way I just check my phone to see who has said yes or no.  And it's better to text than not to RSVP.

#12 EsmeLennox

Posted 24 February 2013 - 09:12 AM

I assume they aren't coming, but in my case it would genuinely mean I have forgotten, so you could call me and say 'you coming or what?' And then I would go 'oh bugger, totally forgot, I am soooo sorry...'

Does that help you...no, didn't think so...

#13 wish*upon*a*star

Posted 24 February 2013 - 09:13 AM

QUOTE (Dinah_Harris @ 24/02/2013, 10:09 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I assume they are not coming.   If they can't be bothered RSVP'ing, in all honesty,  I don't want them there.


Me too,I find people not RSVPing really rude. I don't remind people, if they can't find the few minutes to reply why should I chase them up.

#14 Sunny003

Posted 24 February 2013 - 09:14 AM

I'd call/text & ask. Better that than to have non rsvp'ers show up on the day

#15 Bel Rowley

Posted 24 February 2013 - 09:25 AM

I text or email to check, I know sometimes people genuinely forget, meaning to RSVP but losing track of the date. For something like a wedding I do think it's extremely rude, when numbers are so important. For a casual birthday party at home I'm not too fussed and would allow for enough food etc in case they happen to show.

#16 Fr0g

Posted 24 February 2013 - 09:28 AM

I follow up with a text.

They're invited in the first place because I actually want them at my function/ party - it's easy to flick a quick text;"Hi xxxx, hoping you can make it to my party this Saturday, please let me know if you can, cheers, Frog".

Edited by FrogIsAFrogIsAFrog, 24 February 2013 - 09:29 AM.


#17 niggles

Posted 24 February 2013 - 09:31 AM

I really appreciate the reminder if I've forgotten to RSVP but don't expect it. I would also be happy for the host to assume I'm not coming, since I haven't told them I am coming. I don't tend to show up without RSVPing but I am notorious for forgetting to RSVP early.

#18 yellowtulips74

Posted 24 February 2013 - 09:35 AM

When one of my daughters was little, we had a party at home and I couldn't remember if one girl (let's call her Mary) had rsvp'd or not -lots of mums would stop me at the school gate and rsvp verbally - and I just couldn't remember so I made sure there were enough supplies.  Home party, didn't really matter.

BUT, 30 minutes before the party one of the other mums realised her twins had two invitations - one was for both twins and the other was for Mary!  They'd had a playdate after school the day the invitations went out, and Mary had taken her invite out of the parent communication folder and left it at the twins' house.

So they never got it!  The twins' mum called Mary's mum but with 30 minutes notice they weren't able to come.  I WISH I'd checked!!

At our new school they have a policy - ALL invitations must be mailed or emailed directly.  Good policy!

But I would still check because you never know if the invitation actually arrived.

#19 Chchgirl

Posted 24 February 2013 - 09:41 AM

After the many years experience I have had with kids parties and lack of rsvp's, I never chase them up. I don't have phone numbers to chase them up anyway.

I assume if somebody doesn't let me know, they are not coming. I have only had one person turn up after years of parties, with a sibling as well. They got a good earful!

#20 CallMeFeral

Posted 24 February 2013 - 09:47 AM

RSVP for me means I've either forgotten it's on, or have actually bookmarked it and am planning to go, but have forgotten to say so. If I know I can't go, I usually reply straight away. Even if I don't want to go, I would reply no with a made up excuse.
So if I haven't replied, follow up is very welcome!

#21 ginger72

Posted 24 February 2013 - 09:50 AM

QUOTE (Mozzie1 @ 24/02/2013, 01:40 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I chased everyone who didn't RSVP to our wedding. Turns out one of my best friends never got his invite, and assumed he hadn't made the cut! Always follow up.

This happened to me as well.  I posted invitations to my wedding just before Christmas, and two or three got lost in the Christmas mail.  So a few good friends thought they weren't invited - terribly embarrassing!

It's definitely worth chasing RSVPs.  I don't believe everyone who forgets to RSVP is rude - people are just so busy these days it slips their minds.

#22 Spa Gonk

Posted 24 February 2013 - 12:10 PM

In terms of kids parties, I have discovered people not rsvping means they are not coming.  I have sent my kids to school with a note or these kids, just reminding them that the party is on in a few days and I have not heard if they are coming, please ring me to let me know either way.  I had one parent ring who had misplaced the invite, but still heard nothing from the others.

Even though I do home parties, I still get annoyed.  It means I am doing all the catering and organising, and really have eater things to do than make up party bags and party activities for people who won't be there.

#23 Chchgirl

Posted 24 February 2013 - 01:16 PM

I think weddings and christenings are different, I had everyone rsvp either way to mine but I would give them a reminder as I would know who I am inviting and all are close.

#24 Ally'smum

Posted 24 February 2013 - 01:41 PM

We have had people not receive invitations from us and wouldn't have known if I hadn't chased them up.

Similarly we were invited to an engagement party, never received the invitation and the people hosting it didn't follow up with us, just assumed we were too rude to rsvp.

I would always follow up because you never know what has happened, no need to assume the worst of anyone!


We have had people not receive invitations from us and wouldn't have known if I hadn't chased them up.

Similarly we were invited to an engagement party, never received the invitation and the people hosting it didn't follow up with us, just assumed we were too rude to rsvp.

I would always follow up because you never know what has happened, no need to assume the worst of anyone!


#25 Lyra

Posted 24 February 2013 - 04:01 PM

QUOTE (Bel Rowley @ 24/02/2013, 10:25 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I text or email to check, I know sometimes people genuinely forget, meaning to RSVP but losing track of the date. For something like a wedding I do think it's extremely rude, when numbers are so important. For a casual birthday party at home I'm not too fussed and would allow for enough food etc in case they happen to show.



I'm like this too




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

5 workplace lessons for new parents

Take heart in these principles that will transfer seamlessly from the workplace into your new life as a parent.

Review: The Volvo 2015 XC90 SUV has all the safety features your family needs

The new Volvo XC90 SUV's focus on keeping you safe does not come at the expense of comfort in the XC90.

Kim Kardashian reveals she may have hysterectomy

Kim Kardashian has revealed complications during pregnancy means she might have to have a hysterectomy after the birth of her second child.

Why late night snacks wreak havoc on weight loss

 Loath as you may be to admit it, chances are that at some point you have found yourself in the kitchen late at night, devouring food.

Toddler twins pretend to be asleep to fool mum

They say twins have a unique connection. If this cute clip is anything to go by, these toddler sisters like to use their special bond to try to fool their mother.

Dads who do their share have more sex: study

For women trying to encourage their partners to take more interest in fatherhood, it could be the ultimate incentive.

Think you might have IBS, coeliac disease or Crohn's? Here's what you need to know

Conditions affecting the gastrointestinal tract are common in modern humans, and many are on the rise - including irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), inflammatory bowel disease (IBD) and coeliac disease.

Couple poses for newborn shoot with adorable puppy

Tired of being asked about their baby-making plans, Australian couple Matt and Abby decided to give a creative answer.

Win a Mountain Buggy Swift

To celebrate Essential Baby reaching half a million Facebook fans, we have a Mountain Buggy Swift to giveaway to a lucky fan.

When your toddler disagrees

There comes a time when your child starts having different views to you. I didn't realise that time would come so soon.

The exercises you know you should be doing (but probably aren't)

I bet your to-do list today is long. But somewhere on that massive list, are you making time for your pelvic floor?

How did we have babies before apps came along?

Three months ago, my wife, Chrysta, and I were driving along Melrose Avenue in Los Angeles when she let out a harrowing cry.

This baby really loves the family cat

Some babies get excited when mum or dad come to get them from their cot after a nap.

Woman gives birth after having her own mother's uterus transplanted

In a world first, a healthy baby has been born from the same womb that nurtured his own mother.

Home brand foods contain less salt than pricier rivals

Supermarket home brand foods, long derided as cheap and inferior, contain far lower levels of salt than pricier, branded rivals, new research shows.

Early exposure to peanuts recommended for allergy prevention

A paediatricians' group is recommending that infants at high risk of peanut allergies be given foods containing peanuts before they turn one.

Nannies for hire, wherever you're flying

Ever dreaded the prospect of a long flight, dreaming about how wonderful it would be for a nanny to entertain the kids?

Is it okay to name your baby with a sense of humour?

My husband was sure that Danger was a good option for a boy. And as the pregnancy progressed, it actually started to sound really good.

So hot right now: double-barrelled baby names on the rise

It's one way to make your baby stand out from the pack – giving them not one, but two first names.

Second time around: is it really better the devil you know?

When I fell pregnant with my second child I was, naturally, very excited. Then it all started to come back to me - and I freaked.

Shopping with kids: breaking the pester-power cycle

You're out shopping with your little one and they're incessantly whining that they want a treat. It's easy to say no ... the first time, at least.

Get your FREE Baby & Toddler Show ticket!

Get your free ticket to the Sydney Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27 - register online now.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

The worst 20 minutes of my life

Thirty seconds was all it took to turn a shopping trip into my worst nightmare.

Top baby names for England and Wales in 2014

George has overtaken William in the official rankings of most popular British baby names - and Game of Thrones is still having an impact on parents.

Baseball or baby? Dad's tough choice

What's more important, a baby or a baseball? That's a question this dad seems to struggle with.

Childbirth choices: five star or free?

It's not often you hear the words labour and luxury in the same sentence but for some, a 5-star start to parenthood is exactly what they seek. And with a number of private hospitals now offering packages which include a post-birth stay at a sumptuous first class resort, many mums are choosing to recover in style.

'Where did your boobies go, Mummy?' and other soul-destroying comments from kids

Most women carry a smidge of baby weight after giving birth. If you're lucky enough to have an older child in the house, they can keep you on track with your weight loss goals.

Do you read me, baby?

Is it too soon to be reading to my two-month-old son? If not, what should I read?

Minimising sibling rivalry when you've got a baby

Sibling rivalry is an act of competition, but if your children feel involved and special, this type of jealousy will be minimised.

Will studying on maternity leave take you away from your most important job?

I remember when I was trying to decide if I could combine motherhood and furthering my university education.

Win a Pacapod this Father's Day

To celebrate dads and families, we are giving away a Picos Pack from Pacapod Australia filled with a few extra goodies ENTER NOW

Preschooler hit by car shortly after baby brother's death

A mother has had a frantic race to the hospital after her daughter was hit by a car, just four weeks after her infant son died.

Gay couple and Thai surrogate in custody tug-of-war

A six-month-old baby girl is trapped in the Thai capital in a bitter custody wrangle between her Thai surrogate mother and her biological father.

Couple denied IVF over parenting concerns

A mother of six has been denied access to IVF treatment in order to have another child over concerns about her parenting skills.

The book that promises to put your children to sleep

Exhausted parents from around the world are singing the praises of a "miracle" book which promises to put even the most restless child to sleep in just minutes.

5 things every parent who feels guilty needs to know

Parenthood can make you feel bad, but you're not alone.

Royals criticise 'dangerous' attempts to photograph Prince George

The British royal family criticized paparazzi on Friday for what it called their increasingly dangerous attempts to photograph young Prince George.

'No jab, no play' rule to cover Victorian kindergartens and childcare centres

"Anti-vaxxers" face not being able to send their children to childcare centres or kindergarten if they refuse to have them immunised.

15,000 birthing kits on their way to developing countries

Giving birth in a hospital surrounded by medical experts is tough enough, but some women deliver babies without a clean sheet to lie on.

Photo of premmie 'too graphic', fundraising site says

When their son Jacob was born at just 27 weeks, Christina and Jeff Hinks were thrown into an uncertain world.

The latest Bugaboo collections: cool chevron and runner prams

Bugaboo sure likes to keep things fresh, and with the Australian spring/summer season coming up, there are two new Bugaboo pram releases.

Making room for two in the bed

Mum's room or their own room? Cot or bassinets? Deciding where twins will sleep can be tricky.

 

FREE TICKET

See Hi-5 LIVE in Sydney!

Get your free ticket to The Essential Baby & Toddler Show and save $20 - register online now!

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.