Jump to content

Twins - do you invite both to parties?


  • Please log in to reply
45 replies to this topic

#1 Lifesgood

Posted 23 February 2013 - 10:09 AM

If your 7 y/o child is friends with one child of a set of twins (or more), do you invite both twins to your child's party (assuming it is a small party with only 5-6 close friends invited).

And as an aside point - do twins usually bring one gift between them or one each? (Not because I want my child to get more gifts, in fact I'd prefer no gifts, just asking out of curiosity).

#2 Kreme

Posted 23 February 2013 - 10:15 AM

My daughter is friends with a twin. Last year we invited both to her party but the "other" twin already had a party on and couldn't attend. So I can't tell you about the presents. But DD went to their party and we bought them separate presents, cards and different wrapping paper.

When I spoke to the twins' mum she said that they don't expect both to be invited but it's nice when it happens. DD was inviting about 15 girls so an extra one didn't matter. If numbers were restricted I would let DD choose who to invite.

#3 Tobias'smum

Posted 23 February 2013 - 10:16 AM

Would you invite the siblings of other children? If not theres your answer just because they are twins doesnt mean they have to go every where together

At 7 there mum should be able to explain why one was invited with out the other

#4 kpingitquiet

Posted 23 February 2013 - 10:16 AM

If on friendly terms with the other twin, I'd probably invite both. If, however, one twin was virtually unknown to my child, I'd only invite the one they considered a friend. Now, younger than 7 or 8, I'd probably invite both as they might be too young to understand why they weren't included.

No clue about gifts.

#5 bakesgirls

Posted 23 February 2013 - 10:18 AM

No I don't. I invite the child my child is friends with. The twins are siblings, not one in the same. I feel no more obligation to invite them, than I do the siblings of other children.

As for gifts, I really couldn't say. I know my DD1 buys two gifts, one for each child (as they are two separate people) when she has gone to twin birthdays, but I'm not sure if it is the norm to reciprocate that, as in a gift from each child.

Edited by bakesgirls, 23 February 2013 - 10:21 AM.


#6 Monkey_Mind

Posted 23 February 2013 - 10:24 AM

I haven't had my twins yet, so someone else will probably be in a better position to answer. IMO for a small party if your child is friendlier with one twin than the other personally I'd be ok with it. I think the twin that isn't invited may feel left out though, so I'd explain to the mum it's only an intimate event with limited numbers and you'd understand if the invited twin can't come to avoid any hurt feelings. I'd also give the invite to the mum not the child so she can decide what to do.
In that situation if the mother of the child having the party explained the situation, I'd let my child go and then do something nice with the other twin. I'm expecting b/g twins so I guess it's an easier scenario for me than b/b or g/g twins though.
Re presents; I think if are both are invited then they would both bring presents.

#7 Always amazed!

Posted 23 February 2013 - 10:28 AM

Im a mum of twins and of 2 boys very close in age ( eg mostly same friends same year in school ect)

The present thing.. I buy a gift from each child attending..


As for the inviting thing.. It depends.

As the mum it would make it easier if you invited both for me.
BUT
I wouldnt invite them just because they are twins. I would only invite if they were both somewhat friendly with my child.

#8 Julie3Girls

Posted 23 February 2013 - 10:43 AM

I invite the child they are friends with.

In our case, one time that meant inviting both twins to the party.
The other time, it was only inviting one twin (boy/girl twins).  

In terms if gifts,
When we are inviting, we bring a gift for the name on the invite. So if invited to X and Ys birthday, then my child takes a gift for X and a gift for Y.   If invited to Z's party (which happens to be a shared party with their twin) then I bring s gift for Z.  This was after I rsvp'd and the mother specifically asked us to only bring a gift for Z.

Gifts in return ... The time we invited both twins, they only brought the one gift, and then there was a lovely scene when they arrived - only one gift, so the girls were fighting over who got to carry in the gift and give it to my dd, ended up with one twin in tears when they knocked on the door.  

Oh, and if I am inviting both twins, both children get their own invite, not just one shared invited.

#9 aussiespecial123

Posted 23 February 2013 - 11:22 AM

im a twin.

we used to HATE getting a shared present, even if the value was double as such. we always gave a present each too.

in relation to invites. we preety much both got invited to parties untill highschool with different friendships groups. in our circle of family/friends it would have been considered rude not to invite both.  (however money wasnt an issue or a reason back them to restrict numbers etc)

#10 Lyn29

Posted 23 February 2013 - 11:24 AM

.

Edited by bye, 29 March 2013 - 02:16 PM.


#11 ~BT~

Posted 23 February 2013 - 11:31 AM

No need to invite both.

And we give a present from each child invited, unless its a family friend, then it's just one from our family.

#12 LynnyP

Posted 23 February 2013 - 11:40 AM

Pretty much what Julie3Girls says.

My daughter knows two sets of twins.  As a bit of background, her school has single sex classrooms so all the girls are in one class and the boys in another.  One set of twins is two girls, the other is a boy and a girl.  There are only 16 girls in the class so usually birthdays are the whole class.  She has invited both girl twins and the girl from the other set to her birthday party each time.  The girl twins have invited her to their birthday.  The girl and boy twin had a birthday party at the same place but sent out separate invitations.  I really can't remember if my daughter got two presents from the twins or not but she takes two presents to their party.  To the girl/boy party she took only a present for the girl!

Edited because I misused the sex and completely made the whole post nonsensical(er)

Edited by LynnyP, 23 February 2013 - 12:08 PM.


#13 choccy2

Posted 23 February 2013 - 11:50 AM

If my child was friends with both twins then yes. If not no.
No different than any other siblings.
If i was inviting both I'd give them an invitation each - they are not the same kid so deserve their own invitation.

#14 emnut

Posted 23 February 2013 - 12:04 PM

only if your child is friends with both of the twins.  DS has 2 sets of identical twins he knows - one set he invites both girls as he regularly plays with both, the other he only invites the one he plays with the most.  Both twin parents have indicated this is their preference.

ETA - also agree with the invitation each

Edited by emnut, 23 February 2013 - 12:04 PM.


#15 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 23 February 2013 - 12:15 PM

QUOTE (choccy2 @ 23/02/2013, 11:50 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
If my child was friends with both twins then yes. If not no.
No different than any other siblings.

pretty much this.  We do this now with non-twin siblings - if my child plays with more than one kid from the same family, we tend to invite the children she plays with.  

Next week, both my girls have been invited to 2 parties.  We are shopping this weekend for 4 gifts (the girls each take a present for each birthday child).  I would imagine that as my girls grow up, they will develop their own circle of friends, but at this age, there is still a fair bit of overlap with friends.

I do one invitation per family, name the kids on the invitation.  I figure it's less invitations on the fridge and no different to what I would do for a party invitation for adults (adults from the same family who all live in the same house get one invitation).  I certainly don't expect (or want) two separate invitations for both my kids if they are invited to the same party.  If that's the case, am I supposed to RSVP two times, once for each child?

Upon saying this, when my children were very young (under three) we tended to invited families, rather than individual children.

Edited by YodaTheWrinkledOne, 23 February 2013 - 12:18 PM.


#16 jill1972

Posted 23 February 2013 - 12:16 PM

Because I'm a Mum of twins, I would invite both, especially when they're little.  They're so used to being around each other all the time if one's uninvited they would definitely feel upset (mine would anyway).  I would have them bring a gift each.

If I didn't have twins I don't know if I'd have the same answer.



_________

#17 mumto3princesses

Posted 23 February 2013 - 01:55 PM

From about 7yrs it doesn't matter so much. But at 5 or 6 my twins couldn't deal with one being invited and not the other. I did try once. DH took DD#1 to her activity which took all day so I had no choice but to take DD#3 to the party and try to leave with DD#2. It was awful and she was so upset not to be part of the party with the girls that she thought were her friends too. It would have been different if I was able to leave her with someone while I took DD#3 but I had no choice.

Now that they are older they are ok with only one getting invited but as they have most of the same friends they usually both get invited. They are also used to doing their after school activities seperate now too which makes a difference and they are fine with being apart.

We always do seperate presents and cards. They prefer to give a present that they have picked out themselves. I think we did one present once or twice over the years but it was worth the same as what we would have spent on 2 presents.

And a present each is much appreciated. They had a party once and invited a girl who they thought was both their friends. The girl walked straight past DD#2 to DD#3 said happy birthday, gave her a hug and a present and card. DD#2 would have been happy with a happy birthday, card and even just a $1 present. For a long time afterwards that really bothered her and she kept telling me so and so isn't my friend.

#18 drowninginlego

Posted 23 February 2013 - 02:07 PM

DS has one set of twin as friends. They're only two at the moment and naturally, are bot invited at that age.

As the gift recipient, I'd only expect one gift from the family rather than one from each child. But I'd always give one to each twin (if their mother would let us give gifts. She's a strict no-gifts partier even though she ignores that rule when others have it. biggrin.gif Cheeky monkey).

#19 Illiterati

Posted 23 February 2013 - 02:37 PM

I don't make my kids invite the evil twin. Only the good one.

#20 Illiterati

Posted 23 February 2013 - 02:46 PM

QUOTE (mumto3princesses @ 23/02/2013, 02:55 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
They had a party once and invited a girl who they thought was both their friends. The girl walked straight past DD#2 to DD#3 said happy birthday, gave her a hug and a present and card. DD#2 would have been happy with a happy birthday, card and even just a $1 present. For a long time afterwards that really bothered her and she kept telling me so and so isn't my friend.


How awful for your daughter. I mean how hard is it to pick up a $5 present at Kmart these days? The parents of the other child should have been a little more mindful.  And I agree that when twins are younger you invite both. Even the evil one  tongue.gif


#21 twinmumplus1

Posted 23 February 2013 - 02:46 PM

As a mum of twins -

1.  Invite who they are friends with.  If they aren't really friendly, I wouldn't invite them.  A mum with twins knows that this will occur at some stage, and can have strategies to deal with it original.gif

2.  My boys are an oddity in the twin world - they LOVE shared presents.  When it comes to buying presents, I ask the parent giving the invite if they would like me to bring one or two presents (as in pool money, and get a DS/PS3 type game for example).  Most parents ask for the one.  All good original.gif

#22 Blueberrymummy

Posted 23 February 2013 - 03:21 PM

Twins aren't just like any other siblings, they normally are in the same class, circle of friends and they go through many milestones together being exactly the same age. I would never only invite one twin, I think that is just cruel especially when they are in their primary school years, kids can be very sensitive. Unless my son had a really legitimate problem with one of the "twins" then I might consider it, but generally I would always invite both. What is the big deal about inviting an extra kid? I wouldn't want to be responsible for letting a child feel rejected.

Edited by Blueberrymummy, 23 February 2013 - 03:22 PM.


#23 balletmom4

Posted 23 February 2013 - 03:33 PM

QUOTE (jill1972 @ 23/02/2013, 01:16 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Because I'm a Mum of twins, I would invite both, especially when they're little.  They're so used to being around each other all the time if one's uninvited they would definitely feel upset (mine would anyway).  I would have them bring a gift each.

If I didn't have twins I don't know if I'd have the same answer.



_________



I've got 4yo year old twins and compltely agree with this.

#24 Threelittleducks

Posted 23 February 2013 - 03:40 PM

QUOTE (Blueberrymummy @ 23/02/2013, 03:21 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Twins aren't just like any other siblings, they normally are in the same class, circle of friends and they go through many milestones together being exactly the same age. I would never only invite one twin, I think that is just cruel especially when they are in their primary school years, kids can be very sensitive. Unless my son had a really legitimate problem with one of the "twins" then I might consider it, but generally I would always invite both. What is the big deal about inviting an extra kid? I wouldn't want to be responsible for letting a child feel rejected.



This. I'm a twin Mum too.

I'm interested in how twin Mums deal with the situation of one not being invited too. Of course you can talk about it and plan a fun activity for the one who isn't going to the party....but surely the twin that isn't invited, especially in the younger age bracket, still feels hurt?




#25 mumto3princesses

Posted 23 February 2013 - 04:58 PM

That's true. They aren't just like any other siblings. Its not like a Year 4 child hanging out with her sister in Year 3 or Year 5 and their friends.

They often have the same friends even if they do end up with their own BFF's. Its not like they have a small group of friends and thats it. They will both have quite a few friends from their Year and wont play with exactly the same children each day except maybe their BFF's. In the younger years especially friends tend to be from their class or some other activity that they do at school with the other children. If not from the classroom or playground then they might be their choir friend, dancing friend, recorder friend, PSSA sport friend etc.

And if the school is anything like our school then at some stage over the years even if they are in seperate classes they will probably have been in a class with every child by the time they leave primary school. (They tend to mix them up a lot)

It does hurt if a classmate has a party and only one is invited. And that one girl from their 5th birthday party that didn't even say happy birthday to DD#2 unfortunately has given DD#2 the impression that she isn't her friend. I noticed they were in the same class as her in Year 2 and was surprised neither twin had mentioned she was in their class again when telling me who was in their class. DD#2's answer was I didn't tell you because she's not my friend.

Luckily only one being invited has only happened a few times over the years. When they were in Kindergarten I actually rang and said sorry she can't come. She's a twin and we aren't ready for seperate parties yet etc. That happened a couple of times.

We had one a couple of years ago where again only one got invited and there was tears even at the sight of the invitation in her twin sisters hand. I have to admit I did take the easy way out and make apologies to the parents saying we were "busy" that day. Then there was another one when we really were busy with a gymnastics competition.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Natural pain relief in the early stages of labour

While managing labour pains on your own can be daunting, there are a number of natural pain relief options to help you cope until you are admitted to hospital.

Chinese woman gives birth to quintuplets

After six years of trying for a baby, a couple’s dreams have come true many times over after the mum gave birth to quintuplets this week.

Five-year-old shoots nine-month-old brother dead

A nine-month-old baby boy died on Monday after he was shot in the head by his five-year-old brother in their grandfather's home.

'Is that baby yours?'

She is my daughter. I gave birth to her. I nurse her. But she doesn't have any of my genes.

Episiotomy in childbirth: not just 'a little snip'

Episiotomies have a place in maternity care – and can occasionally save lives – but should not be performed routinely.

Toddler aggression not caused by language delays after all: study

The logic was that children who don’t have the language to fully express themselves will lash out when they’re misunderstood. Not anymore.

Why we chose to adopt a child with Down sydrome

Everyone in foster care (and really in life) has something that makes them more vulnerable. We just know what our son's is.

Object of desire

Curvy mums make clever babies

Scientists appear to have discovered why women have evolved to have more curves than men – shapely thighs and bottoms lead to healthier babies.

'We'll make sure they know how much she loved them'

A first-time mum will never get to hold her four newborns, dying shortly after giving birth to the quadruplets.

The baby names NZ knocked back in 2014

A New Zealander has tried to name their baby Senior Constable but didn't get away with it - and numbering children is also a no-no.

How can you go into labour without knowing you're pregnant?

For most of us, the idea that a woman could carry a child to full-term without knowing she is pregnant is mind-boggling.

Will you get to the hospital in time?

Worrying your baby will be delivered by the roadside is a common concern for many mothers-to-be. So how likely are you to be caught short?

Video: Funny 'Lips Are Moving' parody just for mums

Meghan Trainor's song 'Lips Are Moving' was already a hit, but now it's been turned into a hilarious parody that is set to be very popular with frustrated mums everywhere.

Out with the clutter

Decluttering by the numbers: take the 30-day challenge

Forget the 5:2 diet - Twitter's 30-day declutter challenge will have your house back in shape in no time (well, a month).

Parents, don't be too hard on yourselves

We need to stop damning parents of today, and embrace their appetite for knowledge instead.

Is my baby normal?

There are chubby Buddha babies and there are thin, smaller babies. Neither are right or wrong, they are all 'normal'.

When an older sibling starts school

When one child goes to ‘big school’ and leaves the other behind, it can cause deep upset. Here's how to make the transition easier.

Stray cat saves abandoned baby

They say dogs are man's best friend, but one cat has proven felines can be just as devoted to their human companions.

How strangers are helping a mum's wish come true after her death

A mum of five, Liz Marquez wanted to breastfeed her premmie son for a year. So when she passed away suddenly, her friends - and strangers - stepped in to help.

Win an Octonauts prize pack

To celebrate the launch of Octonauts Live! Operation Reef Shield, a spectacular underwater adventure live on stage, we are giving away an amazing Octonauts prize pack to one lucky fan.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Stars help save choking babies

It's an important lesson to learn, but one that busy new mums and dads might overlook until it's too late.

New Girl star Zooey Deschanel pregnant

Actress Zooey Deschanel is expecting her first child with her producer boyfriend Jacob Pechenik.

16 times 'dad reflexes' saved the day

Of course, in some cases they may be the ones who actually got their child into a precarious position in the first place, but we'll ignore that for now.

Couple's 'non-traditional' pregnancy announcement goes viral

Knowing you are not the father of your pregnant wife's baby would usually indicate a rocky relationship ahead for traditional parents.

The trials and tribulations of identical triplet newborns

Pip Donnelly is still playing spot the difference with her newborn identical triplets, Isabelle, Georgina and Frankie.

Win an Octonauts prize pack

To celebrate the launch of Octonauts Live! Operation Reef Shield, a spectacular underwater adventure live on stage, we are giving away an amazing Octonauts prize pack to one lucky fan.

Earthquake baby thriving five years on

Jenny Alexis is lucky to be alive after spending four days buried in the rubble of the 2010 Haitian earthquake, but now she's a thriving five year old.

Please don't say I'm lucky because I was adopted

On the one hand I was having a regular life with friends and sports and sleepovers and school. But I was also always wondering: Did my mother love me? What was wrong with me?

An open letter to non-parents who offer advice on child-rearing

Kitty, when you’re the parent of my child you’re welcome to wade in with an opinion – but until then, I’d prefer you to have a supportive ear and a glass of wine ready.

Couple arrested over baby gun video

A US couple faces charges after investigators say they found mobile phone videos showing the woman's 12-month-old daughter putting a handgun in her mouth.

NSW Health dumps 10-year limit on frozen embryos

A 10-year time limit on storing frozen embryos that were created with donor sperm has been dropped by the NSW government.

How my happy-go-lucky husband became a monster

Sharan Nicholson-Rogers watched her husband change from a happy-go-lucky police officer into an unpredictable man prone to violent and emotional outbursts.

Dads-to-be experience hormonal changes, too

Dads-to-be experience hormonal changes in line with their pregnant partners, a new study shows.

'They were just doing their job': mum of toddler killed in police chase gone wrong

"They were just doing their job. I feel so sorry for them. It is all just too sad."

Miscarriages to be formally recognised by NSW government

Women who miscarry will be able to obtain an optional "recognition of loss" certificate as a formal recognition of their often heartbreaking loss.

Cafe cubby house 'too noisy' for neighbours

Teenage parties, domestic disputes, or raucous late night pubs are the things that usually come to mind when you think neighbourhood noise complaints.

Dad films baby playing with snake

Most parents would not consider a snake an appropriate playmate for their baby, but a US dad who filmed his daughter playing with a python has defended himself against criticism.

Clever breastfeeding products

Check out this range of products designed to help make your breastfeeding journey more enjoyable, manageable and convenient.

Win with The Boxtrolls

To celebrate the release of The Boxtrolls on 3D Blu-ray, DVD & Digital with UltraViolet, we're giving you the chance to win a Boxtroll stationary package and DVD.

 

School Term 1

Get after-school care sorted

Wait lists too long at OSHC? Use www.findababysitter.com.au to meet local nannies now.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.