Jump to content

Twins - do you invite both to parties?


  • Please log in to reply
45 replies to this topic

#1 Lifesgood

Posted 23 February 2013 - 10:09 AM

If your 7 y/o child is friends with one child of a set of twins (or more), do you invite both twins to your child's party (assuming it is a small party with only 5-6 close friends invited).

And as an aside point - do twins usually bring one gift between them or one each? (Not because I want my child to get more gifts, in fact I'd prefer no gifts, just asking out of curiosity).

#2 Kreme

Posted 23 February 2013 - 10:15 AM

My daughter is friends with a twin. Last year we invited both to her party but the "other" twin already had a party on and couldn't attend. So I can't tell you about the presents. But DD went to their party and we bought them separate presents, cards and different wrapping paper.

When I spoke to the twins' mum she said that they don't expect both to be invited but it's nice when it happens. DD was inviting about 15 girls so an extra one didn't matter. If numbers were restricted I would let DD choose who to invite.

#3 Tobias'smum

Posted 23 February 2013 - 10:16 AM

Would you invite the siblings of other children? If not theres your answer just because they are twins doesnt mean they have to go every where together

At 7 there mum should be able to explain why one was invited with out the other

#4 kpingitquiet

Posted 23 February 2013 - 10:16 AM

If on friendly terms with the other twin, I'd probably invite both. If, however, one twin was virtually unknown to my child, I'd only invite the one they considered a friend. Now, younger than 7 or 8, I'd probably invite both as they might be too young to understand why they weren't included.

No clue about gifts.

#5 bakesgirls

Posted 23 February 2013 - 10:18 AM

No I don't. I invite the child my child is friends with. The twins are siblings, not one in the same. I feel no more obligation to invite them, than I do the siblings of other children.

As for gifts, I really couldn't say. I know my DD1 buys two gifts, one for each child (as they are two separate people) when she has gone to twin birthdays, but I'm not sure if it is the norm to reciprocate that, as in a gift from each child.

Edited by bakesgirls, 23 February 2013 - 10:21 AM.


#6 Monkey_Mind

Posted 23 February 2013 - 10:24 AM

I haven't had my twins yet, so someone else will probably be in a better position to answer. IMO for a small party if your child is friendlier with one twin than the other personally I'd be ok with it. I think the twin that isn't invited may feel left out though, so I'd explain to the mum it's only an intimate event with limited numbers and you'd understand if the invited twin can't come to avoid any hurt feelings. I'd also give the invite to the mum not the child so she can decide what to do.
In that situation if the mother of the child having the party explained the situation, I'd let my child go and then do something nice with the other twin. I'm expecting b/g twins so I guess it's an easier scenario for me than b/b or g/g twins though.
Re presents; I think if are both are invited then they would both bring presents.

#7 Always amazed!

Posted 23 February 2013 - 10:28 AM

Im a mum of twins and of 2 boys very close in age ( eg mostly same friends same year in school ect)

The present thing.. I buy a gift from each child attending..


As for the inviting thing.. It depends.

As the mum it would make it easier if you invited both for me.
BUT
I wouldnt invite them just because they are twins. I would only invite if they were both somewhat friendly with my child.

#8 Julie3Girls

Posted 23 February 2013 - 10:43 AM

I invite the child they are friends with.

In our case, one time that meant inviting both twins to the party.
The other time, it was only inviting one twin (boy/girl twins).  

In terms if gifts,
When we are inviting, we bring a gift for the name on the invite. So if invited to X and Ys birthday, then my child takes a gift for X and a gift for Y.   If invited to Z's party (which happens to be a shared party with their twin) then I bring s gift for Z.  This was after I rsvp'd and the mother specifically asked us to only bring a gift for Z.

Gifts in return ... The time we invited both twins, they only brought the one gift, and then there was a lovely scene when they arrived - only one gift, so the girls were fighting over who got to carry in the gift and give it to my dd, ended up with one twin in tears when they knocked on the door.  

Oh, and if I am inviting both twins, both children get their own invite, not just one shared invited.

#9 aussiespecial123

Posted 23 February 2013 - 11:22 AM

im a twin.

we used to HATE getting a shared present, even if the value was double as such. we always gave a present each too.

in relation to invites. we preety much both got invited to parties untill highschool with different friendships groups. in our circle of family/friends it would have been considered rude not to invite both.  (however money wasnt an issue or a reason back them to restrict numbers etc)

#10 Lyn29

Posted 23 February 2013 - 11:24 AM

.

Edited by bye, 29 March 2013 - 02:16 PM.


#11 ~BT~

Posted 23 February 2013 - 11:31 AM

No need to invite both.

And we give a present from each child invited, unless its a family friend, then it's just one from our family.

#12 LynnyP

Posted 23 February 2013 - 11:40 AM

Pretty much what Julie3Girls says.

My daughter knows two sets of twins.  As a bit of background, her school has single sex classrooms so all the girls are in one class and the boys in another.  One set of twins is two girls, the other is a boy and a girl.  There are only 16 girls in the class so usually birthdays are the whole class.  She has invited both girl twins and the girl from the other set to her birthday party each time.  The girl twins have invited her to their birthday.  The girl and boy twin had a birthday party at the same place but sent out separate invitations.  I really can't remember if my daughter got two presents from the twins or not but she takes two presents to their party.  To the girl/boy party she took only a present for the girl!

Edited because I misused the sex and completely made the whole post nonsensical(er)

Edited by LynnyP, 23 February 2013 - 12:08 PM.


#13 choccy2

Posted 23 February 2013 - 11:50 AM

If my child was friends with both twins then yes. If not no.
No different than any other siblings.
If i was inviting both I'd give them an invitation each - they are not the same kid so deserve their own invitation.

#14 emnut

Posted 23 February 2013 - 12:04 PM

only if your child is friends with both of the twins.  DS has 2 sets of identical twins he knows - one set he invites both girls as he regularly plays with both, the other he only invites the one he plays with the most.  Both twin parents have indicated this is their preference.

ETA - also agree with the invitation each

Edited by emnut, 23 February 2013 - 12:04 PM.


#15 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 23 February 2013 - 12:15 PM

QUOTE (choccy2 @ 23/02/2013, 11:50 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
If my child was friends with both twins then yes. If not no.
No different than any other siblings.

pretty much this.  We do this now with non-twin siblings - if my child plays with more than one kid from the same family, we tend to invite the children she plays with.  

Next week, both my girls have been invited to 2 parties.  We are shopping this weekend for 4 gifts (the girls each take a present for each birthday child).  I would imagine that as my girls grow up, they will develop their own circle of friends, but at this age, there is still a fair bit of overlap with friends.

I do one invitation per family, name the kids on the invitation.  I figure it's less invitations on the fridge and no different to what I would do for a party invitation for adults (adults from the same family who all live in the same house get one invitation).  I certainly don't expect (or want) two separate invitations for both my kids if they are invited to the same party.  If that's the case, am I supposed to RSVP two times, once for each child?

Upon saying this, when my children were very young (under three) we tended to invited families, rather than individual children.

Edited by YodaTheWrinkledOne, 23 February 2013 - 12:18 PM.


#16 jill1972

Posted 23 February 2013 - 12:16 PM

Because I'm a Mum of twins, I would invite both, especially when they're little.  They're so used to being around each other all the time if one's uninvited they would definitely feel upset (mine would anyway).  I would have them bring a gift each.

If I didn't have twins I don't know if I'd have the same answer.



_________

#17 mumto3princesses

Posted 23 February 2013 - 01:55 PM

From about 7yrs it doesn't matter so much. But at 5 or 6 my twins couldn't deal with one being invited and not the other. I did try once. DH took DD#1 to her activity which took all day so I had no choice but to take DD#3 to the party and try to leave with DD#2. It was awful and she was so upset not to be part of the party with the girls that she thought were her friends too. It would have been different if I was able to leave her with someone while I took DD#3 but I had no choice.

Now that they are older they are ok with only one getting invited but as they have most of the same friends they usually both get invited. They are also used to doing their after school activities seperate now too which makes a difference and they are fine with being apart.

We always do seperate presents and cards. They prefer to give a present that they have picked out themselves. I think we did one present once or twice over the years but it was worth the same as what we would have spent on 2 presents.

And a present each is much appreciated. They had a party once and invited a girl who they thought was both their friends. The girl walked straight past DD#2 to DD#3 said happy birthday, gave her a hug and a present and card. DD#2 would have been happy with a happy birthday, card and even just a $1 present. For a long time afterwards that really bothered her and she kept telling me so and so isn't my friend.

#18 Hmmhuhwhat

Posted 23 February 2013 - 02:07 PM

DS has one set of twin as friends. They're only two at the moment and naturally, are bot invited at that age.

As the gift recipient, I'd only expect one gift from the family rather than one from each child. But I'd always give one to each twin (if their mother would let us give gifts. She's a strict no-gifts partier even though she ignores that rule when others have it. biggrin.gif Cheeky monkey).

#19 Illiterati

Posted 23 February 2013 - 02:37 PM

I don't make my kids invite the evil twin. Only the good one.

#20 Illiterati

Posted 23 February 2013 - 02:46 PM

QUOTE (mumto3princesses @ 23/02/2013, 02:55 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
They had a party once and invited a girl who they thought was both their friends. The girl walked straight past DD#2 to DD#3 said happy birthday, gave her a hug and a present and card. DD#2 would have been happy with a happy birthday, card and even just a $1 present. For a long time afterwards that really bothered her and she kept telling me so and so isn't my friend.


How awful for your daughter. I mean how hard is it to pick up a $5 present at Kmart these days? The parents of the other child should have been a little more mindful.  And I agree that when twins are younger you invite both. Even the evil one  tongue.gif


#21 twinmumplus1

Posted 23 February 2013 - 02:46 PM

As a mum of twins -

1.  Invite who they are friends with.  If they aren't really friendly, I wouldn't invite them.  A mum with twins knows that this will occur at some stage, and can have strategies to deal with it original.gif

2.  My boys are an oddity in the twin world - they LOVE shared presents.  When it comes to buying presents, I ask the parent giving the invite if they would like me to bring one or two presents (as in pool money, and get a DS/PS3 type game for example).  Most parents ask for the one.  All good original.gif

#22 Blueberrymummy

Posted 23 February 2013 - 03:21 PM

Twins aren't just like any other siblings, they normally are in the same class, circle of friends and they go through many milestones together being exactly the same age. I would never only invite one twin, I think that is just cruel especially when they are in their primary school years, kids can be very sensitive. Unless my son had a really legitimate problem with one of the "twins" then I might consider it, but generally I would always invite both. What is the big deal about inviting an extra kid? I wouldn't want to be responsible for letting a child feel rejected.

Edited by Blueberrymummy, 23 February 2013 - 03:22 PM.


#23 balletmom4

Posted 23 February 2013 - 03:33 PM

QUOTE (jill1972 @ 23/02/2013, 01:16 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Because I'm a Mum of twins, I would invite both, especially when they're little.  They're so used to being around each other all the time if one's uninvited they would definitely feel upset (mine would anyway).  I would have them bring a gift each.

If I didn't have twins I don't know if I'd have the same answer.



_________



I've got 4yo year old twins and compltely agree with this.

#24 Threelittleducks

Posted 23 February 2013 - 03:40 PM

QUOTE (Blueberrymummy @ 23/02/2013, 03:21 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Twins aren't just like any other siblings, they normally are in the same class, circle of friends and they go through many milestones together being exactly the same age. I would never only invite one twin, I think that is just cruel especially when they are in their primary school years, kids can be very sensitive. Unless my son had a really legitimate problem with one of the "twins" then I might consider it, but generally I would always invite both. What is the big deal about inviting an extra kid? I wouldn't want to be responsible for letting a child feel rejected.



This. I'm a twin Mum too.

I'm interested in how twin Mums deal with the situation of one not being invited too. Of course you can talk about it and plan a fun activity for the one who isn't going to the party....but surely the twin that isn't invited, especially in the younger age bracket, still feels hurt?




#25 mumto3princesses

Posted 23 February 2013 - 04:58 PM

That's true. They aren't just like any other siblings. Its not like a Year 4 child hanging out with her sister in Year 3 or Year 5 and their friends.

They often have the same friends even if they do end up with their own BFF's. Its not like they have a small group of friends and thats it. They will both have quite a few friends from their Year and wont play with exactly the same children each day except maybe their BFF's. In the younger years especially friends tend to be from their class or some other activity that they do at school with the other children. If not from the classroom or playground then they might be their choir friend, dancing friend, recorder friend, PSSA sport friend etc.

And if the school is anything like our school then at some stage over the years even if they are in seperate classes they will probably have been in a class with every child by the time they leave primary school. (They tend to mix them up a lot)

It does hurt if a classmate has a party and only one is invited. And that one girl from their 5th birthday party that didn't even say happy birthday to DD#2 unfortunately has given DD#2 the impression that she isn't her friend. I noticed they were in the same class as her in Year 2 and was surprised neither twin had mentioned she was in their class again when telling me who was in their class. DD#2's answer was I didn't tell you because she's not my friend.

Luckily only one being invited has only happened a few times over the years. When they were in Kindergarten I actually rang and said sorry she can't come. She's a twin and we aren't ready for seperate parties yet etc. That happened a couple of times.

We had one a couple of years ago where again only one got invited and there was tears even at the sight of the invitation in her twin sisters hand. I have to admit I did take the easy way out and make apologies to the parents saying we were "busy" that day. Then there was another one when we really were busy with a gymnastics competition.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Wondersuit heaven: Bonds & Disney launch exclusive collection

Bonds and Disney fans with babies to buy for will be celebrating this news. Bonds and Disney have just released collaboration Wondersuits.

Town welcomes first baby in 28 years

Since the 1980s, the Italian town of Ostana had not seen the birth of a single baby.

Great-great-grandma delivers great grandchild in her own home

''I've delivered calves, lambs, dogs and cats, but nothing like this.'' This 'Super Gran' calmly peeled the amniotic sac over her great-grandson's head before discovering the umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck ... twice.

How to start teaching your kids road safety

It's something that can be taught as early as possible and reinforced as they get older and more mobile - even from toddlerhood.

Just announced: Bugaboo Cameleon³ Classic+ Collection update

Meet the brand new understated chic model from Bugaboo.

The emotional moment a mum hears her late son's heartbeat

It's been two and a half years since Heather Clark's seven-month-old son Lukas passed away.

Nine reasons why you have 'brain fog'

One minute your productivity is skyrocketing and the next you're sitting there trying to focus – just like that you draw blank, your brain, mush.

I had a caesarean and it was beautiful

Guess what? Despite not pushing him out, I cried, and my heart skipped, and I felt the rush of love and pride when I saw him for the first time.

Microcephaly still a mysterious condition around the world

For parents, having a child with microcephaly can mean a life of uncertainty.

7 baby firsts you won't see on milestone charts

Here are a few 'other' baby firsts you may not have been expecting, but you'll want to be ready for.

Why it's important to vaccinate on time

My son was born on the 1 July 2014. It's a fabulous birthday, don't you think? Not only does the first of July ring in a new financial year, but it also means we've hit the year's half way mark.

Naturopath treatment allegedly left baby "days from death"

A naturopath whose treatment of a baby boy allegedly led to the infant being severely ill has pleaded not guilty to charges against her. 

Andy Murray's emotional speech to pregnant wife after Australian Open

A teary-eyed Andy Murray promised pregnant wife Kim he'd be on the next plane home after his turbulent two weeks at the Australian Open came to an end.

This toddler and his duck BFF will melt your heart

A small boy in the US has struck up a quacking good friendship with an unlikely companion ... his pet duck. 

Great news for coffee drinkers - caffeine is good for your heart

Researchers have found that, contrary to prior belief, caffeine does not cause health-threatening heart palpitations.

I always wanted children - but I've found other ways to be maternal

I've always been one of the most maternal women I know.

When only one parent wants to know the gender

For some couples you either both want to know the gender of your unborn baby, or you don't. For others, it's not that simple.

'No jab no play' could hurt disadvantaged children, experts fear

Tough new "no jab no play" laws could hurt children who have not been immunised due to family dysfunction, poverty, or poor access to medical support, experts warn.

Zika virus: Airlines offer refunds to pregnant women

Airlines and cruise companies across the world are offering refunds or travel credits to pregnant women who are scheduled to visit countries struck by the devastating Zika virus.

#meditateonthis: Mums fight back against PND ignorance

Not all women will require medication, but many will. And there isn't and shouldn't be any shame in that.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Penny Wong

'The most hurtful argument in the marriage equality debate'

Labor frontbencher Penny Wong is used to to hearing arguments against same-sex marriage. But for Australia's most prominent gay politician, one hurts more than others.

Does exercise have to be fun to work?

Some things in life are inherently served with a big scoop of fun: balloons, bubbles, cupcakes to name but a few, but exercise?

Hair dye gives woman second-degree burns

She wanted a fresh colour for 2016, but instead she got chemical burns.

Kelly Slater saves mum and toddler from 'freak wave'

A Perth family has thanked US surfing "legend" Kelly Slater after the star saved a mother and a young toddler from "a freak wave" in Hawaii.

Apple recalls millions of power adapters

Tech giant instigates massive international recall of power point adapters due to risk of electric shock.

Toddler's adorable alphabet goes viral

It's impossible not to share this little boy's excitement  about the alphabet.

Tot's nighttime waking saves family's life

Like all tired parents, Monique and Kyle Ruppel were looking forward to the day their 15-month-old daughter Celia would start sleeping through the night. 

Australian mum gives birth to quintuplets

An Australian mum who has shared the ups and downs of carrying quintuplets has welcomed her five babies into the world.

Dad of four girls faints at gender reveal for fifth baby

It was all too much excitement for this dad.

The simple way you can help your baby's language development

The way parents respond to their child's babbling can shape how their infants communicate.

Zika virus is 'spreading explosively': WHO

The World Health Organization announced that it will convene an emergency meeting about Zika.

National database recommended for child protection cases

Baby Ebony was repeatedly failed by the agencies tasked with her protection before her horrific death at the hands of her father, South Australia's deputy coroner says.

Hospitals put babies at risk by ignoring policy on elective caesareans

Thirty-eight weeks or 39? Non-medical factors are pushing women to have elective caesareans earlier than official guidelines - and hospitals are playing along.

Police help deliver baby on busy roadside

Two police officers delivered more than a traffic fine by the side of a busy Melbourne road yesterday.

1D's Louis Tomlinson shares first photo of baby

One Direction's Louis Tomlinson has posted the first picture of his baby boy, Freddie, on social media.

 

FREE TICKET

Free first aid demonstrations daily

Get your free ticket to the Essential Baby & Toddler Show and save $20 - register online now!

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.