Jump to content

Twins - do you invite both to parties?


  • Please log in to reply
45 replies to this topic

#1 Lifesgood

Posted 23 February 2013 - 10:09 AM

If your 7 y/o child is friends with one child of a set of twins (or more), do you invite both twins to your child's party (assuming it is a small party with only 5-6 close friends invited).

And as an aside point - do twins usually bring one gift between them or one each? (Not because I want my child to get more gifts, in fact I'd prefer no gifts, just asking out of curiosity).

#2 Kreme

Posted 23 February 2013 - 10:15 AM

My daughter is friends with a twin. Last year we invited both to her party but the "other" twin already had a party on and couldn't attend. So I can't tell you about the presents. But DD went to their party and we bought them separate presents, cards and different wrapping paper.

When I spoke to the twins' mum she said that they don't expect both to be invited but it's nice when it happens. DD was inviting about 15 girls so an extra one didn't matter. If numbers were restricted I would let DD choose who to invite.

#3 Tobias'smum

Posted 23 February 2013 - 10:16 AM

Would you invite the siblings of other children? If not theres your answer just because they are twins doesnt mean they have to go every where together

At 7 there mum should be able to explain why one was invited with out the other

#4 kpingitquiet

Posted 23 February 2013 - 10:16 AM

If on friendly terms with the other twin, I'd probably invite both. If, however, one twin was virtually unknown to my child, I'd only invite the one they considered a friend. Now, younger than 7 or 8, I'd probably invite both as they might be too young to understand why they weren't included.

No clue about gifts.

#5 bakesgirls

Posted 23 February 2013 - 10:18 AM

No I don't. I invite the child my child is friends with. The twins are siblings, not one in the same. I feel no more obligation to invite them, than I do the siblings of other children.

As for gifts, I really couldn't say. I know my DD1 buys two gifts, one for each child (as they are two separate people) when she has gone to twin birthdays, but I'm not sure if it is the norm to reciprocate that, as in a gift from each child.

Edited by bakesgirls, 23 February 2013 - 10:21 AM.


#6 Monkey_Mind

Posted 23 February 2013 - 10:24 AM

I haven't had my twins yet, so someone else will probably be in a better position to answer. IMO for a small party if your child is friendlier with one twin than the other personally I'd be ok with it. I think the twin that isn't invited may feel left out though, so I'd explain to the mum it's only an intimate event with limited numbers and you'd understand if the invited twin can't come to avoid any hurt feelings. I'd also give the invite to the mum not the child so she can decide what to do.
In that situation if the mother of the child having the party explained the situation, I'd let my child go and then do something nice with the other twin. I'm expecting b/g twins so I guess it's an easier scenario for me than b/b or g/g twins though.
Re presents; I think if are both are invited then they would both bring presents.

#7 Always amazed!

Posted 23 February 2013 - 10:28 AM

Im a mum of twins and of 2 boys very close in age ( eg mostly same friends same year in school ect)

The present thing.. I buy a gift from each child attending..


As for the inviting thing.. It depends.

As the mum it would make it easier if you invited both for me.
BUT
I wouldnt invite them just because they are twins. I would only invite if they were both somewhat friendly with my child.

#8 Julie3Girls

Posted 23 February 2013 - 10:43 AM

I invite the child they are friends with.

In our case, one time that meant inviting both twins to the party.
The other time, it was only inviting one twin (boy/girl twins).  

In terms if gifts,
When we are inviting, we bring a gift for the name on the invite. So if invited to X and Ys birthday, then my child takes a gift for X and a gift for Y.   If invited to Z's party (which happens to be a shared party with their twin) then I bring s gift for Z.  This was after I rsvp'd and the mother specifically asked us to only bring a gift for Z.

Gifts in return ... The time we invited both twins, they only brought the one gift, and then there was a lovely scene when they arrived - only one gift, so the girls were fighting over who got to carry in the gift and give it to my dd, ended up with one twin in tears when they knocked on the door.  

Oh, and if I am inviting both twins, both children get their own invite, not just one shared invited.

#9 aussiespecial123

Posted 23 February 2013 - 11:22 AM

im a twin.

we used to HATE getting a shared present, even if the value was double as such. we always gave a present each too.

in relation to invites. we preety much both got invited to parties untill highschool with different friendships groups. in our circle of family/friends it would have been considered rude not to invite both.  (however money wasnt an issue or a reason back them to restrict numbers etc)

#10 Lyn29

Posted 23 February 2013 - 11:24 AM

.

Edited by bye, 29 March 2013 - 02:16 PM.


#11 ~BT~

Posted 23 February 2013 - 11:31 AM

No need to invite both.

And we give a present from each child invited, unless its a family friend, then it's just one from our family.

#12 LynnyP

Posted 23 February 2013 - 11:40 AM

Pretty much what Julie3Girls says.

My daughter knows two sets of twins.  As a bit of background, her school has single sex classrooms so all the girls are in one class and the boys in another.  One set of twins is two girls, the other is a boy and a girl.  There are only 16 girls in the class so usually birthdays are the whole class.  She has invited both girl twins and the girl from the other set to her birthday party each time.  The girl twins have invited her to their birthday.  The girl and boy twin had a birthday party at the same place but sent out separate invitations.  I really can't remember if my daughter got two presents from the twins or not but she takes two presents to their party.  To the girl/boy party she took only a present for the girl!

Edited because I misused the sex and completely made the whole post nonsensical(er)

Edited by LynnyP, 23 February 2013 - 12:08 PM.


#13 choccy2

Posted 23 February 2013 - 11:50 AM

If my child was friends with both twins then yes. If not no.
No different than any other siblings.
If i was inviting both I'd give them an invitation each - they are not the same kid so deserve their own invitation.

#14 emnut

Posted 23 February 2013 - 12:04 PM

only if your child is friends with both of the twins.  DS has 2 sets of identical twins he knows - one set he invites both girls as he regularly plays with both, the other he only invites the one he plays with the most.  Both twin parents have indicated this is their preference.

ETA - also agree with the invitation each

Edited by emnut, 23 February 2013 - 12:04 PM.


#15 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 23 February 2013 - 12:15 PM

QUOTE (choccy2 @ 23/02/2013, 11:50 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
If my child was friends with both twins then yes. If not no.
No different than any other siblings.

pretty much this.  We do this now with non-twin siblings - if my child plays with more than one kid from the same family, we tend to invite the children she plays with.  

Next week, both my girls have been invited to 2 parties.  We are shopping this weekend for 4 gifts (the girls each take a present for each birthday child).  I would imagine that as my girls grow up, they will develop their own circle of friends, but at this age, there is still a fair bit of overlap with friends.

I do one invitation per family, name the kids on the invitation.  I figure it's less invitations on the fridge and no different to what I would do for a party invitation for adults (adults from the same family who all live in the same house get one invitation).  I certainly don't expect (or want) two separate invitations for both my kids if they are invited to the same party.  If that's the case, am I supposed to RSVP two times, once for each child?

Upon saying this, when my children were very young (under three) we tended to invited families, rather than individual children.

Edited by YodaTheWrinkledOne, 23 February 2013 - 12:18 PM.


#16 jill1972

Posted 23 February 2013 - 12:16 PM

Because I'm a Mum of twins, I would invite both, especially when they're little.  They're so used to being around each other all the time if one's uninvited they would definitely feel upset (mine would anyway).  I would have them bring a gift each.

If I didn't have twins I don't know if I'd have the same answer.



_________

#17 mumto3princesses

Posted 23 February 2013 - 01:55 PM

From about 7yrs it doesn't matter so much. But at 5 or 6 my twins couldn't deal with one being invited and not the other. I did try once. DH took DD#1 to her activity which took all day so I had no choice but to take DD#3 to the party and try to leave with DD#2. It was awful and she was so upset not to be part of the party with the girls that she thought were her friends too. It would have been different if I was able to leave her with someone while I took DD#3 but I had no choice.

Now that they are older they are ok with only one getting invited but as they have most of the same friends they usually both get invited. They are also used to doing their after school activities seperate now too which makes a difference and they are fine with being apart.

We always do seperate presents and cards. They prefer to give a present that they have picked out themselves. I think we did one present once or twice over the years but it was worth the same as what we would have spent on 2 presents.

And a present each is much appreciated. They had a party once and invited a girl who they thought was both their friends. The girl walked straight past DD#2 to DD#3 said happy birthday, gave her a hug and a present and card. DD#2 would have been happy with a happy birthday, card and even just a $1 present. For a long time afterwards that really bothered her and she kept telling me so and so isn't my friend.

#18 Drowninginferal

Posted 23 February 2013 - 02:07 PM

DS has one set of twin as friends. They're only two at the moment and naturally, are bot invited at that age.

As the gift recipient, I'd only expect one gift from the family rather than one from each child. But I'd always give one to each twin (if their mother would let us give gifts. She's a strict no-gifts partier even though she ignores that rule when others have it. biggrin.gif Cheeky monkey).

#19 Illiterati

Posted 23 February 2013 - 02:37 PM

I don't make my kids invite the evil twin. Only the good one.

#20 Illiterati

Posted 23 February 2013 - 02:46 PM

QUOTE (mumto3princesses @ 23/02/2013, 02:55 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
They had a party once and invited a girl who they thought was both their friends. The girl walked straight past DD#2 to DD#3 said happy birthday, gave her a hug and a present and card. DD#2 would have been happy with a happy birthday, card and even just a $1 present. For a long time afterwards that really bothered her and she kept telling me so and so isn't my friend.


How awful for your daughter. I mean how hard is it to pick up a $5 present at Kmart these days? The parents of the other child should have been a little more mindful.  And I agree that when twins are younger you invite both. Even the evil one  tongue.gif


#21 twinmumplus1

Posted 23 February 2013 - 02:46 PM

As a mum of twins -

1.  Invite who they are friends with.  If they aren't really friendly, I wouldn't invite them.  A mum with twins knows that this will occur at some stage, and can have strategies to deal with it original.gif

2.  My boys are an oddity in the twin world - they LOVE shared presents.  When it comes to buying presents, I ask the parent giving the invite if they would like me to bring one or two presents (as in pool money, and get a DS/PS3 type game for example).  Most parents ask for the one.  All good original.gif

#22 Blueberrymummy

Posted 23 February 2013 - 03:21 PM

Twins aren't just like any other siblings, they normally are in the same class, circle of friends and they go through many milestones together being exactly the same age. I would never only invite one twin, I think that is just cruel especially when they are in their primary school years, kids can be very sensitive. Unless my son had a really legitimate problem with one of the "twins" then I might consider it, but generally I would always invite both. What is the big deal about inviting an extra kid? I wouldn't want to be responsible for letting a child feel rejected.

Edited by Blueberrymummy, 23 February 2013 - 03:22 PM.


#23 balletmom4

Posted 23 February 2013 - 03:33 PM

QUOTE (jill1972 @ 23/02/2013, 01:16 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Because I'm a Mum of twins, I would invite both, especially when they're little.  They're so used to being around each other all the time if one's uninvited they would definitely feel upset (mine would anyway).  I would have them bring a gift each.

If I didn't have twins I don't know if I'd have the same answer.



_________



I've got 4yo year old twins and compltely agree with this.

#24 Threelittleducks

Posted 23 February 2013 - 03:40 PM

QUOTE (Blueberrymummy @ 23/02/2013, 03:21 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Twins aren't just like any other siblings, they normally are in the same class, circle of friends and they go through many milestones together being exactly the same age. I would never only invite one twin, I think that is just cruel especially when they are in their primary school years, kids can be very sensitive. Unless my son had a really legitimate problem with one of the "twins" then I might consider it, but generally I would always invite both. What is the big deal about inviting an extra kid? I wouldn't want to be responsible for letting a child feel rejected.



This. I'm a twin Mum too.

I'm interested in how twin Mums deal with the situation of one not being invited too. Of course you can talk about it and plan a fun activity for the one who isn't going to the party....but surely the twin that isn't invited, especially in the younger age bracket, still feels hurt?




#25 mumto3princesses

Posted 23 February 2013 - 04:58 PM

That's true. They aren't just like any other siblings. Its not like a Year 4 child hanging out with her sister in Year 3 or Year 5 and their friends.

They often have the same friends even if they do end up with their own BFF's. Its not like they have a small group of friends and thats it. They will both have quite a few friends from their Year and wont play with exactly the same children each day except maybe their BFF's. In the younger years especially friends tend to be from their class or some other activity that they do at school with the other children. If not from the classroom or playground then they might be their choir friend, dancing friend, recorder friend, PSSA sport friend etc.

And if the school is anything like our school then at some stage over the years even if they are in seperate classes they will probably have been in a class with every child by the time they leave primary school. (They tend to mix them up a lot)

It does hurt if a classmate has a party and only one is invited. And that one girl from their 5th birthday party that didn't even say happy birthday to DD#2 unfortunately has given DD#2 the impression that she isn't her friend. I noticed they were in the same class as her in Year 2 and was surprised neither twin had mentioned she was in their class again when telling me who was in their class. DD#2's answer was I didn't tell you because she's not my friend.

Luckily only one being invited has only happened a few times over the years. When they were in Kindergarten I actually rang and said sorry she can't come. She's a twin and we aren't ready for seperate parties yet etc. That happened a couple of times.

We had one a couple of years ago where again only one got invited and there was tears even at the sight of the invitation in her twin sisters hand. I have to admit I did take the easy way out and make apologies to the parents saying we were "busy" that day. Then there was another one when we really were busy with a gymnastics competition.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

How to talk about your pregnancy at work

The workplace isn't always a friendly place for pregnant women. Yet working women inclined to conceal a pregnancy from prying coworkers may be better off opening up and carrying on, according to a new study.

Tell us your story to win!

To celebrate Mother's Day this year we are giving you the chance to win one of five great prizes simply by telling us your story.

Where to get help to help your baby sleep

There is so much pressure about having a baby who sleeps 'all night' , it's no wonder you worry about your baby if she wakes in the night.

Vintage baby names having a comeback

What makes some names have comebacks while others silently fade into oblivion? A few factors come into play.

When your partner doesn't want you to breastfeed

Dads can have many reasons for not wanting their partners to breastfeed their baby, but both parents should learn more about it before making a final decision.

Model mum Sarah Stage shares post-baby selfie

Most new mums would recoil at the thought, but Sarah Stage has shared a post-pregnancy selfie just four days after giving birth.

I'll admit it: I have last child parenting fatigue

If you're a new mum and feeling ignored by the older mum/the old hand/the has-been, please know, it's not you, it's me. Blame the last child parenting fatigue.

Exhaustion is not the same as tiredness

Having a new baby isn't tiring - it can be downright exhausting.

Five posterior babies, four home births

I was on a high. I'd done it all by myself with no help from anyone.

Mum's list of birthday gift demands goes viral

We're big fans of kids' birthday parties - but this is one bash we're glad we didn't get an invite to.

Kate Middleton to receive 'loyalty discount' for second birth

Everybody loves a bargain - including the Duchess of Cambridge.

Fish & chip shop owner's sad note goes viral

A lengthy note put on the window of a fish & chip shop has gone viral due to the writer's serious doubts about the romance of travel.

Pregnant women need good nutrition advice, not judgment

Pregnant women are under pressure to do all the "right things" to have a healthy child. It results in women feeling judged about their decisions.

When your child wants you to have another baby

Giving your child a sibling when you don't want to have another baby can be a complex issue.

William Tyrrell's mum speaks out: 'We hope he is still alive'

The mother of missing toddler William Tyrrell says she has a vision that somebody "picked him up and moved him on ... that's the only way ... to explain for him not to be there".

Family comes first for 23-year-old Tommy Connolly

Most 23-year-old blokes spend their hard earned cash on fun times with mates or romantic dinners with their girlfriend, but not Tommy Connolly.

Newborn all-girl quintuplets 'doing great'

The first all-female quintuplets born in the United States were delivered last week, at 28 weeks and two days.

Model mum's big baby silences critics

He may be less than a week old, but baby James Hunter has already helped his model mum silence her critics.

Jammy, Hula Hoop, Rage: Reddit reveals most unusual baby names

A recent Reddit thread has revealed some of the more creative names in the world.

Woman awakens from coma, learns she gave birth

A US woman awakened this week from a four-month-long coma that doctors had feared would be permanent and learned that she had given birth to a baby boy, according to her family.

'Give us a break': mum sent shocking letter over Facebook baby pics

Posting a lot of baby photos doesn't make you a bad person. It may make your Facebook feed a little irritating, but it doesn't make you a bad person.

In defense of the dads who do so much

It's time to shift the focus off what dads aren’t doing and shine it on what they are.

The modern cloth nappies too cute to cover up

If you're only just joining the modern cloth nappy movement, or would like to spruce up your collection, we have to introduce you to Designer Bums.

How breastfeeding can affect your libido

When you’ve just had a baby, having sex isn’t usually top priority. In fact, for a lot of women it rates about as appealing as changing another dirty nappy.

Should pregnant women be allowed to use 'parent and child' car parking spots?

Is it acceptable to use these car parking spots when pregnant? How many of us would admit to doing it?

Healthy baby from sperm taken 48 hours after a man died

Fertility doctors have described their "most extraordinary case" - creating a healthy baby from sperm taken 48 hours after a man had died.

Sign up to our 30 days of #PlayIQ challenge

Sign up to receive 30 amazing tips and ideas for play with baby during the month of April and submit a picture or tip on our social wall for a chance to win an amazing Fisher-Price prize pack.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Last chance to win a year's supply of toys

You have less than a week left to win your child one of five Fisher-Price toy packs valued at over $600 each - hurry, enter today!

Childcare is a big problem, but there's more to it

Let’s keep talking about these issues and not allow them to be put into a neat little box that’s labelled ‘Fix childcare and everything is solved’.

Pink's awesome response to body-shaming trolls

When trolls felt the need to comment on 35-year-old singer-songwriter Pink's weight, her answer was an awesome ode to body love.

Fertility clinic offers egg donors $5000

A national chain of fertility clinics is offering egg donors a $5000 payment to cover their expenses, a first for Australia which is raising concerns the money could act as an inducement.

Baby boy abandoned in India amid fresh surrogacy concerns

Australian officials could do nothing to stop an Australian couple from abandoning their baby son, born through surrogacy in India, after they decided they did not want to bring him to Australia.

Herd immunity and community responsibility: how free-riders can make kids suffer

Individual choice works for haircuts and handbags, but not for preventing infectious diseases that kill kids.

Photographer captures 'unexpected beauty' of birth

If there is one thing Leilani Rogers knows about childbirth, it is that no two deliveries are ever the same.

Expectations vs the reality of making a toddler's clothes

Note to self: less sewing, more life. Not the party dress, but the party. The toddler, as usual, has it all figured out.

Mum meets 'dead' daughter 49 years after birth

In 1965, Zella Jackson-Price was told her premature baby girl had died shortly after birth.

How pregnancy probiotics can help you and your baby

New research suggests that taking specific pregnancy probiotics could be the answer to a range of common pregnancy side effects.

53 creative pregnancy announcements

Announcing that you're expecting can be a time to express your creativity, sense of humour and imagination. Check out how other parents and parents-to-be have broken the news to friends and family.

IKEA hacks for the nursery and kids' rooms

Are you one of those that know the whole IKEA catalogue by heart? Love their stuff but want to personalise it? Here's some inspiration to help you realise the potential of IKEA furniture and fittings.

36 baby names inspired by food and drinks

A French court may have ruled out Nutella as a baby name, but that doesn't have to stop you from taking inspiration from the supermarket (or bottle shop). See what parents in the US have chosen for their delicious little ones.

 

ENTER NOW!

Win a year's worth of toys

Last week to submit a picture of your baby at play for your chance to win. Visit the Play Wall to view our recent entries.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.