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Where is this kid's mother?
Got a stranger's kid here for sleepover...


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61 replies to this topic

#1 sedawson

Posted 22 February 2013 - 09:10 PM

Where are you, 'Jack's' parents? Don't get me wrong, this boy is quite nice, but I have never met you and you have never met me, yet you think it's fine for Jack to have a sleepover at my house even though I don't even have your contact details?

My 9-yr-old has his mate from school sleeping over, and an extra kid has turned up expecting to participate in the party. This kid has his sleeping bag and toothbrush but I've never met him or his parents before and I don't have any contact details. What happens if he has an allergic reaction to something or wants to go home or breaks an arm? Or, seriously, what if I'm just not a good person for this kid to be around? How would they know? Geez some people are weird.

#2 yellowtulips74

Posted 22 February 2013 - 09:13 PM

Oh dear!

Can you ring or sms some other parents to see if anyone else knows him or his family?

#3 Coffeegirl

Posted 22 February 2013 - 09:14 PM

Ask the kid for his phone number.  Ring the  parents.


Just because he's at your house with toothbrush and sleeping bag, does not mean they know he is at your house!

Edited by Coffeegirl, 22 February 2013 - 09:15 PM.


#4 JRA

Posted 22 February 2013 - 09:14 PM

I am surprised you have accepted that.

How did he get to your placed

#5 SCARFACE CLAW

Posted 22 February 2013 - 09:15 PM

WTF? Surely a 9 year old knows his parents' phone number?

#6 EsmeLennox

Posted 22 February 2013 - 09:15 PM

Is it possible that his parents don't know where he's gone? At 9 surely he knows his own address/phone number? I would definitely try and get the details and contact the parents.

And actually, this is probably petty but why are you targeting his mother in your thread title? most kids have two parents and it is not just the mother who bears the brunt of the responsibility of knowing where her offspring are.

Edited by Jemstar, 22 February 2013 - 09:19 PM.


#7 SMforshort

Posted 22 February 2013 - 09:15 PM

My nine year old knows his home phone number.  Can't you ask the boy to ring his parents so you can speak to them?

SM

#8 teejay

Posted 22 February 2013 - 09:16 PM

Wow - some parents!! So how did jack get to your house? Did they just drop him off out the front ohmy.gif . Is he actually a friend of your son?

#9 B.feral3

Posted 22 February 2013 - 09:17 PM

Who did he arrive with and what was their explanation?

#10 libbylu

Posted 22 February 2013 - 09:18 PM

At 9 he should know his home phone number, or at least his address and his parent's last names, so you should be able to look in the white pages even if he doesn't know his phone number.
I would let a 9 year old stay without contacting the parents.  They may have no idea where he is.

#11 SCARFACE CLAW

Posted 22 February 2013 - 09:18 PM

WTF? Surely a 9 year old knows his parents' phone number?

#12 Therese

Posted 22 February 2013 - 09:19 PM

I would be getting his parents phone number and ringing them as well.

#13 KT1978

Posted 22 February 2013 - 09:19 PM

Had a similar thing happen, I ended up calling school to get the kids phone number. But I had no idea if taking her home was the right thing to do seeing as her mum told her to come to our place because she wouldn't be home.   sad.gif


#14 kadoodle

Posted 22 February 2013 - 09:20 PM

QUOTE (SCARFACE CLAW @ 22/02/2013, 10:18 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
WTF? Surely a 9 year old knows his parents' phone number?


My 10yo doesn't.  She has it written down, but can't remember it off the top of her head.  My 8yo can.

Good luck, OP.  What a strange situation!

#15 Coffeegirl

Posted 22 February 2013 - 09:23 PM

Now that I think about it.  DS is 9 and there is no way I'd let hime stay somewhere new without at least a written birthday invitation and meeting the parents!

I think you should put 'Jack' in the car and drive him home.  Tell him he can stay next time.  When he has been formally invited!!!

#16 Squeekums Da Feral

Posted 22 February 2013 - 09:23 PM

what the?
huh.gif

#17 Frockme

Posted 22 February 2013 - 09:24 PM

Where's the father?

#18 sedawson

Posted 22 February 2013 - 09:26 PM

DS, Best Mate, and Random Kid all live very close in one quiet suburb and we have been letting them noofle around in between houses after school so long as they stay together and at least one of them has a phone on them... Certainly wasn't expecting Random Kid to arrive for a sleepover though because, as mentioned, his parents and I haven't 'vetted' each other yet. I did get his parents' contact from Best Mate's mother, but I don't think highly of parents letting their kids sleep at a house they haven't visited.

Yes, Jemstar, you're right, kids have two parents and it's not only a mother's responsibility. Thank you for drawing attention to my error.

#19 Mumsyto2

Posted 22 February 2013 - 09:27 PM

It would be odd if he did not know a parents contact number, but even if not he would surely know his address. Maybe you or your dh could pop around (if he cannot give a phone number) to check his parents know where he is?

#20 FullNest

Posted 22 February 2013 - 09:27 PM

Nope not cool. Either get a phone number or at least a surname and suburb so you can look it up and find out WTF is up with his parents?



#21 EsmeLennox

Posted 22 February 2013 - 09:32 PM

If you know where he lives why not just go down there and check that they actually know where he is? If they do, simply say sorry he can't stay tonight as it wasn't pre-arranged, or if you are happy enough to have him why not say that you we concerned they didn't know where he had gone since you had had no conversation with them about the sleepover? That will probably send them a fairly clear message.

It could also be that his parents just have different ideas to you. When I think back to when I was a child of around this age I was always organising sleepovers at friend's places with the kids doing the asking of each parent, the parents rarely had contact. As long as they knew where the other kid lived it was Ok. I know this all sounds very slack by today's standards and I can't imagine myself allowing my kids to do this, but perhaps the other parents are really laid back and Jack has told them that so and so's mum said it was OK? In which case the parents still need to be told that Jack had not in fact cleared it with you.

You are jumping to conclusions about the parents, you don't know what young Jack has or hasn't told them. Go over and speak to them, then judge!

Edited by Jemstar, 22 February 2013 - 09:33 PM.


#22 FeralFP

Posted 22 February 2013 - 09:32 PM

Re your subject title, what about the father? Is the father not also responsible for their child?

#23 KnightsofNi

Posted 22 February 2013 - 09:40 PM

Sorry, I will come and pick Jack up.

tongue.gif

#24 sedawson

Posted 22 February 2013 - 09:47 PM

QUOTE (Jemstar @ 22/02/2013, 09:32 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
If you know where he lives...

It could also be that his parents just have different ideas to you. When I think back to when I was a child of around this age I was always organising sleepovers at friend's places with the kids doing the asking of each parent, the parents rarely had contact. As long as they knew where the other kid lived it was Ok. I know this all sounds very slack by today's standards and I can't imagine myself allowing my kids to do this, but perhaps the other parents are really laid back and Jack has told them that so and so's mum said it was OK? In which case the parents still need to be told that Jack had not in fact cleared it with you.

You are jumping to conclusions about the parents, you don't know what young Jack has or hasn't told them. Go over and speak to them, then judge!


I don't know where he lives. Jack IS safe here, as it happens - but I know that I'm a safe person, and they don't. That's really my point. I certainly am jumping to conclusions about this child's parents, as it happens. I don't think it's good parenting practice to let your child sleep at the house of people you haven't met. His parents may be 'laid back' and I don't have a problem with chill parents, but this is taking 'chill' to a surprising level, in my opinion.

#25 EsmeLennox

Posted 22 February 2013 - 09:52 PM

QUOTE (sedawson @ 22/02/2013, 07:26 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
DS, Best Mate, and Random Kid all live very close in one quiet suburb and we have been letting them noofle around in between houses after school so long as they stay together and at least one of them has a phone on them... Certainly wasn't expecting Random Kid to arrive for a sleepover though because, as mentioned, his parents and I haven't 'vetted' each other yet. I did get his parents' contact from Best Mate's mother, but I don't think highly of parents letting their kids sleep at a house they haven't visited.

Yes, Jemstar, you're right, kids have two parents and it's not only a mother's responsibility. Thank you for drawing attention to my error.


I thought based on this that you knew where he lived, or at least your son would? And haven't you gotten a contact from the best mate's parents?  If they are going between houses doesn't  one of the kids know where he lives? And seriously, for the love of God, check that his parents actually know the the kid is, for all you know they may be frantic with worry and about to call the police!  Judge all you want, but do the right thing yourself and check with the parents because at the moment you don't bloody know what the situation is with his parents. They might just be slack as anything, but if so don't you want to send a message that what they have done is not Ok with you, or is it more fun to just post on EB about it rather than do something constructive?

And if i am reading your post right and not misunderstanding, if they go between houses  during the day and you haven't met the parents how does that make you any better than them? Bad crap happens during the day just as much as at night.

Edited by Jemstar, 22 February 2013 - 09:58 PM.





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