Jump to content

kindergartener being violent


  • Please log in to reply
4 replies to this topic

#1 carolleigh

Posted 22 February 2013 - 08:52 PM

Why would a little 5 yo boy suddenly start showing aggression to classmates and peers and how do I respond to it?
It is in the form of kicking and punching and seems unprovoked and random. He seems to find it amusing and despite warnings and threats it continues. We have talked about keeping hands to ourselves and gone through the empathetic reasoning but to no avail. He has been at big school 3 weeks and is beginning to become known for all the wrong reasons.

How should I manage it? What to do from here?

#2 cinnabubble

Posted 22 February 2013 - 09:08 PM

Can you approach his teacher and seek her advice?

#3 baddmammajamma

Posted 23 February 2013 - 11:48 AM

Hi carolleigh:

I'm sure this is very stressful for you!

The first thing I'd be doing is sitting down with your son's teacher, as cinnabubble suggested, and seeing if he/she has any insights and suggestions. I imagine that most experienced teachers of young children have seen behavior like this from some kids.

Does your son have a "currency?" I took a quick check of your post history & it sounds like he's a dinosaur fan. Perhaps you can put together some VERY simple behavioral guidelines (with him & his teacher), like 3-4 core, easy to understand goals. Reward with dinosaur stickers for every period of school that he follows the rules. Reinforce with a small treat (doesn't have to be food or a toy -- could be time together in the pool, or computer time, etc.) either at the day if he reaches a certain level. Both you & the teacher should try to "catch him being good" and praise him for THAT behavior regularly.

On a different note, have you ever consulted with a good developmental paediatrician or child psych? I ask because it seems you've voiced concerns in the past about defiant/unmanageable behavior -- I appreciate that it's so hard to tell what's normal "bad" behavior in a 3, 4, 5 year old -- but at the same time, it would be a shame for your son to get a reputation for all the wrong reasons if there are actually underlying causes for his behavior. I offer this with my "ADHD Mum" hat on. original.gif  

I have found that schools & teachers can be very collaborative when they feel as if the parents are aware of/concerned about their child's poor behavior and have an open mind about the possibility of other issues (rather than just saying "Oh, boys will be boys" or "The teacher should know how to address this.")

Good luck sorting everything out. I hope your son settles in well soon.


#4 DrFeral

Posted 23 February 2013 - 01:35 PM

BMJ is right on this one (as she usually is). I've seen similar behaviour end up with a diagnosis which really improved things for the child and their family. Not saying that this is your little boy's issue but that you should work with your child's teacher to work out what is happening before it gets any worse.

#5 elizabethany

Posted 23 February 2013 - 01:53 PM

Have there been any repercussions for his violence?  Warnings and threats only work if they are followed through.

As there are no obvious triggers, I would look at either a medical condition (including psych), or if there needs to be a change in parenting techniques.




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Meet the latest baby giving the internet hair envy

"As a bald man, I'm very proud of my 2-month-old's hair," wrote new dad Brian Gorham, 32, along with a photo he shared to reddit.

Woman hits back after shop assistant labels her engagement ring as 'pathetic'

A US woman has been applauded worldwide for sharing a photo of her modest, US$130 engagement ring after a shop assistant labelled it "pathetic".

Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher welcome baby boy

Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher welcomed their second child, USA TODAY has confirmed.

After his grandkids moved away, this grandpa came up with a beautiful way to stay in touch

Chan Jae, a 75-year-old man from Korea, missed his grandsons terribly when they moved overseas.

20 gorgeous Christmas stocking and sack options

It seems every year that Christmas-themed goodies for kids get less tacky and more stylish.

Dad's genius hack for how to go shopping with a baby

A dad has shared his genius hack for tackling Christmas shopping with toddlers.

How I gave birth far too drug-free for my own liking

I certainly wasn't shy about medication. In fact, my policy on this was, in the immortal words of Britney Spears, "Gimme gimme more".

Christmas-inspired names for your December baby

Due during the festive season, or just have a love of Christmas?

Three-year-old mistakes policeman for Santa, so naturally he goes along with it

When an adorable three-year-old spotted a white haired gentleman in a restaurant she naturally assumed he was Santa Claus.

To VBAC or not to VBAC?

"If, after careful assessment by their maternity care provider, there seems to be no reason why a woman shouldn't be offered a chance at VBAC, then the opportunity should be provided."

Baby tries broccoli for the first time, immediately regrets it

It's probably fair to say that broccoli is an acquired taste.

'I didn't think I'd have pimples as a grown-up ... then I fell pregnant'

As specialists treat more adults for acne, Lucy Sheref reveals the emotional cost of years spent struggling with the condition.

Stranger's act of kindness helps overwhelmed mum in supermarket

A random act of kindness from a stranger in the supermarket brought a mum to tears, exactly when she needed it most.

21 adorable Christmas outfits for your baby

December 25 is just around the corner, and it's the perfect opportunity to dress your bub in a sweet festive outfit.

 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Articles

Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

What pregnancy is really like: mums share their honest opinions

We asked real women what surprised them during their pregnancy. They've shared their experiences in the hope of preparing the rest of us better for the ride

The truth about big-headed babies

Research suggests that big headed babies become more intelligent than their smaller peers. One mum shares the positives and negatives of having a big headed baby.

How to encourage your baby's gross motor development skills

There are some everyday things that parents can do to improve gross motor skills and coordination.

'My baby's extra thumb saved her life'

A mum whose daughter was born with an extra thumb says that the extra digit saved her life.

He gave her his liver, she gave him her heart

Heather Krueger and Chris Dempsey's origin story began in a darker place than most: with stage 4 liver cancer.

Toilet training from birth? It is possible

This method, called elimination communication (EC or assisted infant toilet training), is becoming increasingly popular in the West.

Watch hilarious montage of strangest pregnancy questions on Yahoo Answers

Some of the strangest questions about pregnancy - and some of the most bizarre spelling - have made for a hilarious video.

How to reduce your chances of perineal tearing in birth

The use of heat packs, along with other aspects of clinical care, can reduce your risk of tearing in birth.

 

Baby Names

Unusual Celeb Baby Names

Click through the gallery to read the details and see some of the most memorable monikers in show biz families.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.