Jump to content

kindergartener being violent


  • Please log in to reply
4 replies to this topic

#1 carolleigh

Posted 22 February 2013 - 08:52 PM

Why would a little 5 yo boy suddenly start showing aggression to classmates and peers and how do I respond to it?
It is in the form of kicking and punching and seems unprovoked and random. He seems to find it amusing and despite warnings and threats it continues. We have talked about keeping hands to ourselves and gone through the empathetic reasoning but to no avail. He has been at big school 3 weeks and is beginning to become known for all the wrong reasons.

How should I manage it? What to do from here?

#2 cinnabubble

Posted 22 February 2013 - 09:08 PM

Can you approach his teacher and seek her advice?

#3 baddmammajamma

Posted 23 February 2013 - 11:48 AM

Hi carolleigh:

I'm sure this is very stressful for you!

The first thing I'd be doing is sitting down with your son's teacher, as cinnabubble suggested, and seeing if he/she has any insights and suggestions. I imagine that most experienced teachers of young children have seen behavior like this from some kids.

Does your son have a "currency?" I took a quick check of your post history & it sounds like he's a dinosaur fan. Perhaps you can put together some VERY simple behavioral guidelines (with him & his teacher), like 3-4 core, easy to understand goals. Reward with dinosaur stickers for every period of school that he follows the rules. Reinforce with a small treat (doesn't have to be food or a toy -- could be time together in the pool, or computer time, etc.) either at the day if he reaches a certain level. Both you & the teacher should try to "catch him being good" and praise him for THAT behavior regularly.

On a different note, have you ever consulted with a good developmental paediatrician or child psych? I ask because it seems you've voiced concerns in the past about defiant/unmanageable behavior -- I appreciate that it's so hard to tell what's normal "bad" behavior in a 3, 4, 5 year old -- but at the same time, it would be a shame for your son to get a reputation for all the wrong reasons if there are actually underlying causes for his behavior. I offer this with my "ADHD Mum" hat on. original.gif  

I have found that schools & teachers can be very collaborative when they feel as if the parents are aware of/concerned about their child's poor behavior and have an open mind about the possibility of other issues (rather than just saying "Oh, boys will be boys" or "The teacher should know how to address this.")

Good luck sorting everything out. I hope your son settles in well soon.


#4 DrFeral

Posted 23 February 2013 - 01:35 PM

BMJ is right on this one (as she usually is). I've seen similar behaviour end up with a diagnosis which really improved things for the child and their family. Not saying that this is your little boy's issue but that you should work with your child's teacher to work out what is happening before it gets any worse.

#5 elizabethany

Posted 23 February 2013 - 01:53 PM

Have there been any repercussions for his violence?  Warnings and threats only work if they are followed through.

As there are no obvious triggers, I would look at either a medical condition (including psych), or if there needs to be a change in parenting techniques.




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Why we tend to hold our babies on our left side

On which side of your body do you carry or cradle your baby? If you answered "left" then you're not alone.

Taking fish oil in pregnancy may prevent childhood asthma

Women who took omega-3 fatty acid supplements (fish oil supplements) in pregnancy reduced the risk of their children developing asthma by almost one third.

Mum, dad and son all share a birthday

Luke and Hillary Gardner never have a problem remembering each other's birthday.

Mum shares the bittersweet truth about pregnancy after miscarriage

A mother's candid and heartfelt reflections about pregnancy after miscarriage are providing comfort to other women.

16 simple ways to make your baby smarter

What's the best way to mentally stimulate your baby? It doesn't take a genius - just a loving, involved parent.

Your blood pressure could predict baby's sex even before conception

The average blood pressure of mother could suggest a baby's sex before it even exists, a study has found.

The breastfeeding photo that says it all

Ashley Rockill was lucky enough to have her birth photographer on hand to capture a precious moment.

13 pregnancy superstitions from across the globe

In honour of Black Friday, let's explore 13 of the strangest pregnancy superstitions from across the globe.

I'm a stay-at-home mum, and I'm sending my son to daycare

When you become a mum you give birth to a beautiful baby, but you also give birth to guilt.

Mum gives birth to 'Incredible Hulk' 6.4kg baby

An American mother was shocked when she gave to a 6.4kg (14lb 1oz) baby last month.

Mum demands $530 for daughter's shoes after playdate

A mum has made a pretty bold move by demanding $532 for a pair of her daughter's shoes that were damaged at another family's house. 

A toddler's guide to helping around the house

If a toddler was to write a guide to 'help' you with the household chores, it would go something like this.

The breast pump you can use on the go

The game-changing breast pump promises to make life easier all round.

'Mum, don't be mad but I've just had a baby'

A teen mum has shared her birth story – and her shock at not knowing she was pregnant until her baby's head emerged.

No, Senator, childcare workers don't just wipe noses and stop fights

The only thing childcare workers spend their time doing is "wiping noses and stopping the kids from killing each other"? Not quite.

'I wanted to be the birth mum so much'

When people say "aren't you lucky that there are two of you, that you can switch?" I give them a tight smile.

6 myths about breastfeeding toddlers

Although breastfeeding a toddler isn't for everybody, if you choose to nurse beyond babyhood you can expect some strong reactions.

 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Articles

Advertisement
 
 
 

From our network

Your child's fine motor skills: what you should know

There is less of a focus on fine motor skills, but they're just as important as others. (SPONSORED)

5 ways music helps your toddler's development

There are at least five other compelling reasons to get musical around your toddler. (SPONSORED)

 

Baby Names

Unusual Celeb Baby Names

Click through the gallery to read the details and see some of the most memorable monikers in show biz families.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.