Jump to content

kindergartener being violent

  • Please log in to reply
4 replies to this topic

#1 carolleigh

Posted 22 February 2013 - 08:52 PM

Why would a little 5 yo boy suddenly start showing aggression to classmates and peers and how do I respond to it?
It is in the form of kicking and punching and seems unprovoked and random. He seems to find it amusing and despite warnings and threats it continues. We have talked about keeping hands to ourselves and gone through the empathetic reasoning but to no avail. He has been at big school 3 weeks and is beginning to become known for all the wrong reasons.

How should I manage it? What to do from here?

#2 cinnabubble

Posted 22 February 2013 - 09:08 PM

Can you approach his teacher and seek her advice?

#3 baddmammajamma

Posted 23 February 2013 - 11:48 AM

Hi carolleigh:

I'm sure this is very stressful for you!

The first thing I'd be doing is sitting down with your son's teacher, as cinnabubble suggested, and seeing if he/she has any insights and suggestions. I imagine that most experienced teachers of young children have seen behavior like this from some kids.

Does your son have a "currency?" I took a quick check of your post history & it sounds like he's a dinosaur fan. Perhaps you can put together some VERY simple behavioral guidelines (with him & his teacher), like 3-4 core, easy to understand goals. Reward with dinosaur stickers for every period of school that he follows the rules. Reinforce with a small treat (doesn't have to be food or a toy -- could be time together in the pool, or computer time, etc.) either at the day if he reaches a certain level. Both you & the teacher should try to "catch him being good" and praise him for THAT behavior regularly.

On a different note, have you ever consulted with a good developmental paediatrician or child psych? I ask because it seems you've voiced concerns in the past about defiant/unmanageable behavior -- I appreciate that it's so hard to tell what's normal "bad" behavior in a 3, 4, 5 year old -- but at the same time, it would be a shame for your son to get a reputation for all the wrong reasons if there are actually underlying causes for his behavior. I offer this with my "ADHD Mum" hat on. original.gif  

I have found that schools & teachers can be very collaborative when they feel as if the parents are aware of/concerned about their child's poor behavior and have an open mind about the possibility of other issues (rather than just saying "Oh, boys will be boys" or "The teacher should know how to address this.")

Good luck sorting everything out. I hope your son settles in well soon.

#4 DrFeral

Posted 23 February 2013 - 01:35 PM

BMJ is right on this one (as she usually is). I've seen similar behaviour end up with a diagnosis which really improved things for the child and their family. Not saying that this is your little boy's issue but that you should work with your child's teacher to work out what is happening before it gets any worse.

#5 elizabethany

Posted 23 February 2013 - 01:53 PM

Have there been any repercussions for his violence?  Warnings and threats only work if they are followed through.

As there are no obvious triggers, I would look at either a medical condition (including psych), or if there needs to be a change in parenting techniques.

0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users


The device that allows you to bottle feed and use your phone at the same time

"It dawned on me that I could do some catch-up work while he fed, but I needed something to help me hold a bottle and my smartphone."

Mum posts photo of c-section scar to prove she gave birth

A new mum angered by people suggesting women who deliver their babies via caesarean section have not "given birth" has challenged that misconception by sharing a photograph of her scar.

Olivia Wilde and Jason Sudeikis welcome daughter

Actress Olivia Wilde and her fiance Jason Sudeikis are parents again.

Nurse cuts off part of newborn's finger

A newborn baby is without the tip of one finger after a nurse accidentally cut it off with scissors.

See the new Thomas & Friends clothing range for girls

It's a long overdue move for kids and parents alike.

Finally, someone's come up with a way to stop doona thieves

If you've ever shared a bed with a dyed-in-the-wool doona stealer you'll know how frustrating it can be.

Family rituals to make mealtimes easier: mums share their tips

Special rituals, as well as favourite cutlery and plates, can make dinner times less challenging and a lot more fun!

Toddler pours entire bag of dog biscuits down the toilet

Most mums of toddlers have a funny horror story about the time they turned their back for 30 seconds only to find mayhem on their return.

Surgeons successfully separate 13-month-old twins conjoined at head

Surgeons at a New York City hospital have separated a pair of 13-month-old boys who were congenitally joined at the head, completing a rare operation that carried a risk of death and severe brain damage, their mother said.

'Do I call the parents or an exorcist?'

Babies can sometimes get themselves into unusual positions while sleeping, but this youngster has the makings of an acrobat.

The complicated grief of losing your babies

In the park near our house my partner and I have a bench. We paid to have it put there last year after our twin boys Fred and John died.

How the way you’re born and fed can affect your immune system

Vaginal or caesarean, bottle- or breastfed: it all influences our gut microbes and future health.

Depression made me a crummy friend - but I'm working on it

Getting well and falling in love with my son has brought a feeling words simply can't describe. But I didn't expect it to be a little heartbreaking, too.

Mountain Buggy Bagrider makes travel so much easier with baby

Haven't we all needed more hands when travelling with babies and toddlers?

'I look like a troll!': mum shares postpartum hair regrowth woes

Rather than hiding her postpartum hair regrowth, author Giovana Fletcher has photographed and shared it.

A police officer saved a baby's life, forever changing his own

With his bald head, light goatee and bulging arms covered in dark tattoos, Officer Kenneth Knox is an imposing figure.

The tandem breastfeeding photo that got a mum's Facebook account shut down

A mother of six from the US claims that Facebook disabled her account because she posted a photograph of herself tandem breastfeeding a stranger's baby along with her own.


Top 5 Articles


What's hot on EB

Win a Hawaii beachfront resort holiday for two!

Enter now for your chance to win 1 of 4 trips for two to Hawaii, staying at Outrigger resorts in Waikiki.


Vintage Toys

The toys of your childhood

Take a trip down memory lane with these vinage and retro toys that you may have had in your childhood or your parent's childhood.

Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.