Jump to content

Those that have had a caesarean


  • Please log in to reply
36 replies to this topic

#1 Bwok~Bwok

Posted 22 February 2013 - 12:10 PM

*I have no idea where to put this*

My niece is having a caesarean next week – she will be 36 weeks (or 37 weeks) pg. They have booked her in as the baby has shown limited growth and there is low amniotic fluid.

This will be her 2nd caesarean – the first was an emergency and was put under for it. But she suffers from anxiety and is becoming really anxious, and I can see her anxiety getting worse the closer she gets to the day. It’s the operation that is freaking her out the most – she’s petrified of the needle going into her back and that she will feel them cutting.

As you can see from my sig, I have no experience in this. I managed to calm her down last night and now she wants me to call her each day because "she feels better when I talk to you" - it's always been like that between us (her Mum is going in with her and I’m the ‘back up’). Her Mum isn’t helping her with keeping her calm (she makes it about herself – always has, always will) and I think my niece isn’t very confident her mother will help – hence why she has made me her ‘back up’!

So can anyone tell me what I can say to her to help? She is having a pre-op appointment next week and I’ve told her to discuss it all with them on the day – let them know she suffers from anxiety, they may be able to give her a calmative on the day? I'll try and see if I can go in with her on her Pre-Op appointment so I can speak for her as she tends to not tell them how she feels incase they think she's a 'freak' - and her mother will most probably talk to them about how 'she' will feel on the day rolleyes.gif !


Thanks!

#2 Riotproof

Posted 22 February 2013 - 12:17 PM

I think she just needs to tell them how she's feeling, they'll know how to reassure her. When I had my epidural, I had been induced and was contracting, but I held onto my husband's shoulders and focused completely on him. They do test to make sure it's taken effect before starting, and they manage the amount of drugs so as to keep the aenasthetic up.


#3 cinnabubble

Posted 22 February 2013 - 12:27 PM

A colleague's partner had anxiety issues relating to birth to such an extent that she had a caesarian under a general. She would have had the caesarian anyway, but the general was due to extreme anxiety. Maybe that's an option.

#4 Threelittleducks

Posted 22 February 2013 - 12:28 PM

I had an emergency c-section with epidural.

I was warned by my OB that I would feel no pain, but experience a sensation like someone was rummaging around in a handbag....just in my belly. And this is exactly how I would describe it too.

Is there a partner that can support her? I was under the impression that during a c-section you are only able to have one support person in the room with you?

My suggestions would be for you to get her to make a list of questions for her care provider.

She may find it helpful to ask her OB for a step by step description about what will occur. Including how she will feel, pain relief options and asking what will happen once the baby is born and speaking with the paed ahead of time. The baby may well need to go to Special Care if they are of low weight etc and they should already have an expectation in place about this.

Your niece should also be clear with her mother about what she wants.

E.g. My husband stayed with the babies and went with them to Special Care; which meant I was by myself once they were delivered. And went to recovery alone. This was my wish that our children were not alone.

Your niece may be able to take her baby to recovery with her. She might want to see the placenta when it is delivered.

She should also think about what she wants to do with BFing, especially if the baby does not yet have a suck reflex. A paed should be able to given an idea of what to expect at 36ish weeks.

If the baby does need special care, a tour of the unit before delivery will be immensely helpful to her...especially when she is down in recovery by herself.

I personally find that having a plan in place, an idea of the different things that may happen, reduces anxiety.

Best wishes.

#5 noi'mnot

Posted 22 February 2013 - 12:32 PM

I had an emergency c-section so I'm not sure if I'll be totally helpful, but here are my thoughts.

I would presume that the hospital will be used to these kinds of anxieties, and very much able to deal with them. Honestly, the thought of a needle going in to my back and being cut open while awake is terrifying!!!

Perhaps it would help her to read some positive birth stories about caesareans? I'm sure you could find them in the relevant part of the forum here, or elsewhere on the internet. I'm pretty sure that her concerns are very very common, and would have been shared by many other women, so it shouldn't be hard to find some stories that talk about the journey through anxiety and the surgery itself. It is something that I (a very non-anxious person) was terrified of at the time, and the nurses and particularly the anaesthetist were brilliant at allaying my fears.

Apart from this, I think just being there as a sounding board and somebody for her to talk her feelings out to will be such a valuable thing. I think you're a great aunty. original.gif

#6 bokchok

Posted 22 February 2013 - 12:33 PM

I felt the same with my c section but doctors were reassuring....I have a very low pain threshold and was so scared - but with my spinal it didn't hurt at all and worked in seconds and they constantly monitor - and its minutes and baby is out - it is scary but I am sure she will be ok...but yeah she should share her fears so they can reassure and comfort her...I had a ces as I was THAT terrified of a VB with anxiety

as a PP suggested a general may be an option if the anxiety is that bad

#7 JBH

Posted 22 February 2013 - 12:41 PM

I too had an unexpected emergency c section and then a scheduled c section. I was also anxious. The thing that helped me was my caregivers know I was anxious. It was in my notes so the anaesthetist knew.  He couldn't have been more reassuring. He gave me gas to calm me down while he did the spinal. He also agreed that he wouldn't cut until he'd done a "test poke" with a sharp object to make sure it didn't hurt. I also hate needles and I felt s lot better once I knew the difference between the spinal (for my planned c section) and the epidural I'd had previously.

#8 Madnesscraves

Posted 22 February 2013 - 12:48 PM

I think I was borderline hysterical when I was told I needed a cs. Speaking to nurses and the OB helped, sort of... What helped most was just having my husband just chat about other things other than the impending cs.

It didn't hurt. As PP said its like some one rummaging in my handbag. It was painless. Even the epi was painless.

Just get her to keep informing her carers of her anxiety.

All the best luck OP!

#9 Domestic Goddess

Posted 22 February 2013 - 12:59 PM

I had an elective cesarean. Because it was elective and not an emergency, things were quite relaxed and amicable.

When you go to the pre-op appointment, I would discuss what procedures they use when closing up.
Preferably ask if they could use internal stitches and steristrips on the outside instead of staples. Staples take longer to heal and leave a hideous scar. The steristrips left nothing. You have to look really close to see my scar.

I would also have a good chat with the anesthetist who will be on duty at that time and tell him/her about the anxiety. He/she will discuss options on how to deal with the anxiety (like giving some gas like a pp mentioned) and will also discuss what kind of anesthetics are available, what the risks are, etc.

I personally, chose for a spinal and not an epidural as an epi lasts longer and that would mean it would be harder for me to get moving as soon as possible.
I have a crook back and the longer I stay rigid, the worse my back is going to freeze up. So with the spinal I got moving and walking within 12 hours of the surgery. Another bonus is that breastfeeding is heaps easier when you have movement in your legs.
Also, spinal is just a 1 off injection where as an epi is a drip that is stuck there throughout the whole procedure.

The anesthetist talked me through everything he was doing which made me feel a bit more at ease and I did not feel the needle go in as he first numbed the area before giving the spinal.
I really didn't feel a thing, just some light tugging.

Oh and just 1 important thing..... If she does not want to see the surgeons cutting her open and all that.... Do NOT look into the light above your head. They can work like a mirror ;)
I personally was intrigued and found it a truly miraculous experience. Especially the moment they took him out as I had been so worried about him the 3 weeks leading up to his birth.
He had a 75% risk of stilbirth, so yeah, when he started to scream (hasn't stopped with that one 3 years later), it made me bawl my eyes out lol. Im such a sook   :rolleyes:

#10 Jillian75

Posted 22 February 2013 - 01:01 PM

With my second child I had a caesarean.  I was going to have an epidural so my husband could be there with me.  He really wanted to be there.  


While preparing for the epidural, I had a panic attack whenever the doctors explained to me what they would be doing.  I had the epidural no problems, but once I was wheeled into the room I had another panic attack and they ended up putting me under.

With the twins I told them I wanted to go under a general due to the panic attacks which they had no problem with.

Honestly, if she is that worried now, I would simply insist on the general anaesthetic (sp) .  
For me, no amount of talking was going to calm me down ph34r.gif



#11 Julie3Girls

Posted 22 February 2013 - 01:01 PM

Tell her to talk to her doctor, let them know how stressed she is.

And while I know from experience that is doesn't really help, because it is hard to believe it until you have been through it ...  it really IS going to be ok.  The staff during a csection are wonderful, they are very aware that you are awake.  I was very stressed with my first (breech baby no labour) but the anaesthetist, hjs assistant and the midwife were fantastic, chatting to me the whole time, placing bets on whether the baby would be a boy or a girl, taking photos for us.  And once your baby is in your arms, you really do tune out what else is going on behind the screen.

Tell her to talk to her dr about keeping the baby with her through to recovery ... Some hospitals do this, depending on who else in recovery and if they have enough midwives available for one to stay with you in recovery.

#12 lilmissmars

Posted 22 February 2013 - 01:04 PM

My anxiety about being awake for a c section has been so bad that I have had my second two (first was an emergency under ga) under a general as I was unable to be calmed down.
I requested it and the drs saw how anxious I was and agreed it was much safer than having me awake and stressed out.

If her anxiety is that bad maybe a ga is an option?

My issues were not so much about an epidural or spinal but were to do with being awake while having the surgery. It's honestly the most terrifying thing I can think of and there is still no convincing me that it's not that scary.
I'm honestly quite jealous of those that have been fine with it. I would have loved to see my babies right after they came out.

Edited by lilmissmars, 22 February 2013 - 01:06 PM.


#13 Bwok~Bwok

Posted 22 February 2013 - 01:25 PM

I thought I'd add that she asked for a General and they advised against it! I don't know why?

She's been sick throughout the pg - and been hospitalised a couple of times because of dehydration, (she's lost alot of weight) so I don't know if it has something to do with that?

Edited by Bwok~Bwok, 22 February 2013 - 01:26 PM.


#14 Domestic Goddess

Posted 22 February 2013 - 01:26 PM

Those who had a general anesthetic, did you manage to breastfeed successfully after you woke up?
The anesthetist told me that having a ga, will make it harder to breastfeed as it can delay or completely stop your milk from coming in........

I think perhaps she should ask for a spinal/epi, but make them aware of her anxiety and the chance that she might have to get a GA in the end.....

#15 ~~Cleopatra~~

Posted 22 February 2013 - 01:48 PM

QUOTE
I thought I'd add that she asked for a General and they advised against it! I don't know why?


The recovery is longer and you do miss those early moments with your baby.

I had a GA for my emergency ceaser and a spinal for my elective. I found being awake very unpleasant (as did my cousin who did have GA's for last 3 after being awake for the first). That said I wouldn't have missed the early moments for anything and for me that made the unpleasantness worthwhile (it was worse for me as I did have my tubes done at the same time so it took longer). If she is very anxious the experience of being awake could be very difficult for her and I think she should discuss again the GA.

Breastfeeding - I cant really say due to the circumstances of the first birth, we were seperated for 16 hours and it did take us a few weeks to establish feeding. For my 2nd one we breastfed in recovery original.gif

#16 IsolaBella

Posted 22 February 2013 - 02:03 PM

QUOTE (Domestic Goddess @ 22/02/2013, 02:26 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Those who had a general anesthetic, did you manage to breastfeed successfully after you woke up?
The anesthetist told me that having a ga, will make it harder to breastfeed as it can delay or completely stop your milk from coming in........

I think perhaps she should ask for a spinal/epi, but make them aware of her anxiety and the chance that she might have to get a GA in the end.....



My sister had a full on emerg GA cs. She ended up in ICU, bubs in NICU. Didn't BF her bubs for a week didn't even see him for five days.

Her milk came in day 2 (mine was day 5) and had no troubles BFing.



#17 Ferelsmegz

Posted 22 February 2013 - 02:24 PM

OMG - I was pretty much the same with my CS - first one was a emergency and I was under, second time I went in and it was all planned and my surgical team were AMAZING.. totally put my mind at ease.

You have a local before the epidural so you dont really feel it.. and they test your legs with ice before they cut to make sure you cant feel.

Sure there is an amount of scary as it is out of your control... but I can say that the birth of my DD was a much better experience then my DS - I got to see her straight away and heard her first cries etc - ALL things I missed before... for me it was the next day before I could hold him as it took ages for me to wake up properly and i was scared of dropping him but with DD as soon as I was out of recovery she was in my arms... comparitivly my second CS with an epidural was an amazing experiance.

PM me if you want to know anything specific.

Good luck to your niece!

#18 Ferelsmegz

Posted 22 February 2013 - 02:26 PM

Oh and I couldnt BF with the GA... it took 5 - yes 5 days for my milk to come in.... and sadly the midwives had made me express to the point of bleeding because they didnt believe I had no milk - so when it finally did come in i was way too much pain

#19 purple_daisy

Posted 22 February 2013 - 02:29 PM

Perhaps you could talk about the short amount of time she will have to wait until she meets the baby. So when she talks about being scared of the needle and the surgery you could talk about how quickly the five minutes will pass until the baby is out (once the surgery starts) and how happy she will feel then.
Perhaps suggest a mantra for her to focus on while she is getting the needle or lying on the table such as a little song/rhyme she could silently say to herself with the baby's name in it, or something that focusses on the surgery being the means to an end such as 'The needle means the surgery won't hurt, the surgery won't take long, the surgery is so I can meet my baby, my baby is totally worth it' or something along those lines? Not sure if that would be remotely helpful to your niece, but can't hurt to try!

#20 Duck-o-lah

Posted 22 February 2013 - 02:33 PM

QUOTE
I personally find that having a plan in place, an idea of the different things that may happen, reduces anxiety.
Absolutely. I am having a scheduled CS following a horrible emergency CS. Once I had made the decision to have a CS I was hit with a wave of anxiety regarding the surgery, spinal, and all manner of things associated with it! I have found the best cure for my anxiety is completely understanding what will be happening minute-by-minute on the day, in the best and worse case scenarios. I have asked loads of questions so hopefully there will be no suprises.

The other thing that helped was reading through others experiences, pop in to the 'caesarean' forum here and maybe copy some of the positive experiences for her to read?

I would definitely discuss the anxiety issue with her health carers, I'm sure they have dealt with a wide spectrum of anxiety and have procedures in place to help.

In regards to the GA, I had a GA for DS's birth and I am doing everything in my power to avoid having it happen again. I had it about midday and I was out for the rest of the night. They wheeled me in to meet DS but I hardly remember it sad.gif I had difficulty establishing BFing, but DS was not well, so I don't know if that had more to do with it. The thing about GA's is that the baby gets the anaesthetic in their system too so they can be born very groggy. I know everyone is different, but that was my experience. Sure if the risks of having mum so stressed and anxious about the surgery outweigh the risks of the GA I'm sure this is an option that can be discussed.

You sound like you're already doing heaps to help her deal with the anxiety, it's amazing how much difference one person can make original.gif

#21 Domestic Goddess

Posted 22 February 2013 - 02:35 PM

QUOTE (lsolaBella @ 22/02/2013, 03:03 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
My sister had a full on emerg GA cs. She ended up in ICU, bubs in NICU. Didn't BF her bubs for a week didn't even see him for five days.

Her milk came in day 2 (mine was day 5) and had no troubles BFing.


Ah ok. I guess specific cases only. Good to know original.gif

#22 tle

Posted 22 February 2013 - 02:38 PM

I've had 4 c-sections and for me the worst part was getting the spinal, but even that wasn't too bad. It was just uncomfortable trying to bend right over when you have such a big belly.

The c-section itself was easy. At one of my births I was busy chatting away to one of the nurse and then asked the ob if we were nearly ready to start. He gave me a very strange look and within a few minutes lifted up my baby boy. I didn't even realise he'd already begun.



#23 angel2010

Posted 22 February 2013 - 02:43 PM

My c-section was such a positive experience! Not much discomfort with needle,not much sensation of tugging- more like butterflies on tummy!

The anesthetist said "we're not here to have an operation... We're here to have a baby!" they played music and our footy team's song as our son was born followed by 'whatta man'!!! We were all laughing and smiling.

I was not in much pain afterwards and recovery was fine!

Might be lucky, but it was really lovely experience. hugs to your neice

#24 Starrydawn

Posted 22 February 2013 - 02:49 PM

I am a person who needs to deep breathe through a blood test let alone anything else. I don't care about needles it is blood and veins that make me hyperventilate.

So you can imagine having a drip being induced then having a caesarean was not my idea of a good time. But it really was quite calming. I barely felt the epi too busy deep breathing through a contraction lol. Then you feel nothing. The anaesthetist  was great. I was waiting for it to start and he says well they are getting the baby now. So really felt nothing.


If she feels too anxious definitely keep talking to people.


#25 tibs

Posted 22 February 2013 - 03:11 PM

I've had 3 elective c-secs.  Can you ask for her to be first on the list for the day because I can tell you first hand nothing is worse for anxiety than waiting around in a hospital for your turn, feels like forever and your mind goes to all the possible things that can go wrong.  First up = less time for anxiety to build.  Good luck original.gif




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

WIN an exclusive performance from Sam Moran!

To celebrate the release of children?s musical series Play Along with Sam, out now on DVD, we?re giving one lucky parent the chance to have Sam perform at their child?s pre-school or day care!

The myths and truths of gender swaying

Here are a few popular methods hopeful parents-to-be use to try to get a baby of their preferred gender – and what an expert says about whether they really work.

10 easy DIY Christmas decoration ideas

It's officially time to get into the Christmas spirit. Why not branch out when you put up your tree this year and add a personal touch with a few DIY decorations? We've found the perfect easy-to-make ways to put more festive fever into your home.

The dangerous new trend of glucose challenge test refusal

A dangerous trend is seeing more mothers-to-be declining a relatively simple and painless test to check for gestational diabetes.

Office of Fair Trading reveals naughty toys ahead of Christmas

The Office of Fair Trading has pulled seven toys from shelves ahead of Christmas after they fail safety tests.

Video: Baby boy's trouble with twins

These twin girls will no doubt have fun fooling people in years to come, but nobody will be as confused as baby Landon.

Long-term reversible male contraceptive on its way

Men could soon have access to an injectable long-term contraceptive which works in a similar way to a vasectomy but promises to be easily reversed.

'I tried to kill my baby': one mum's story

After bathing and dressing her three-month-old son, Amanda had a rare moment alone with her baby.

Attack of the 'mummy brain'

I feel that almost every day, someone in my life - be they a friend, family member or complete stranger - feels the need to excuse my behaviour as I have other things on my mind.

Mum of baby who fell ill after drinking raw milk speaks out

A Melbourne mother has described how her son turned grey when he became seriously ill after drinking raw milk.

Australian divorce rate lowest since 1976

Modern newlyweds are now well into their 30s and marriage still offers something powerful a new book argues.

The aftermath of a traumatic birth experience

In Australia, 30 per cent of women find their birth experience traumatic, with 6 per cent going on to develop post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Young mum burns 'from inside-out'

A young mum is in intensive care after she took a friend's antibiotic and wound up with an ailment that is burning her body 'from the inside-out'.

The disagreement that can break a relationship

If he doesn't change his mind, all I can hope is that I will. It would be a waste to spend the rest of my marriage mourning a baby that never was.

Co-sleeping or no-sleeping? Mum videos worst nap ever

One mother's futile attempt to sleep in caught on camera in a hilarious - and very cute - video.

Why children misbehave during the festive season

While we all like to imagine the holiday season as being a fun, loving and bonding experience; often our reality is quiet different.

I was fat-shamed by my doctor

The fear of being weighed is the most significant factor in women cancelling medical appointments - and now weight-shaming has happened to me.

End of an era: no more childcare

As we reach the end of 2014, we're closing the book on many things for another year, most notably childcare. Our last child has attended childcare for the very last time.

The 7-year itch is more like the 10-year itch: study

Contrary to popular belief, making it past the seven-year mark doesn't mean your marriage will be smooth sailing from there on.

Stop telling us that parenting gets harder

I’m sure that parenting will get harder. But life isn’t exactly smooth sailing for many of us right now, either.

Should children be forced to sit on Santa's lap?

We teach kids it’s okay to say no if they don’t feel safe, so why do some parents force their children to climb in to Santa's lap?

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Baby born weighing almost 14 pounds

Yes, the bouncing baby girl was born by caesarean section. And mum says no more kids.

The dummy debate

I'm the first to admit that when I used to see tiny babies with dummies in their mouths, I thought "Hmm, lazy parenting." And now I apologise.

WIN an exclusive performance from Sam Moran!

To celebrate the release of children?s musical series Play Along with Sam, out now on DVD, we?re giving one lucky parent the chance to have Sam perform at their child?s pre-school or day care!

'I thought I was an only child'

Imagine meeting your double at a school sports event, or regularly being mistaken for someone you haven't met. Separated twins Margaret and Joy tell their story.

Mums reveal their nappy bag essentials

Ever wondered what other mums carry in their nappy bags? We have, so we asked mums to tell us their must-have nappy bag items.

Toddler died because he wasn't given antibiotics soon enough

A 15-month-old boy would almost certainly be alive today if doctors had given him antibiotics sooner, a coroner has ruled.

VIDEO: moment a toddler falls on to train tracks in Melbourne

Shocking footage has emerged capturing the moment a pram carrying a toddler rolled off a platform and onto train tracks in suburban Melbourne.

Sold on natural birth? Read the fine print

In the excitement and anticipation of a first pregnancy, I ignored the fine print: some women, some of the time.

Child with alcoholic mum who drank while pregnant won't win pay-out

A young child is not entitled to criminal injuries compensation after her mother drank excessively while pregnant.

Superbugs killing India's babies, posing wider threat

A deadly epidemic that could have global implications is quietly sweeping India, tens of thousands of newborns dying because antibiotics no longer work.

Can you teach a toddler to sleep in?

Parents share their tips on getting their early risers to sleep in, even for just a little bit longer.

Keeping your relationship on track as new parents

About 70 per cent of couples experience a slump in their relationship within three years of having a baby. Here's how we tried to get back on track.

America's favourite baby names of 2014

Americans are turning to television, Netflix and sports for ideas for what to name their wee ones.

Carers admit to force-feeding children

As Sydney grieves the loss of Sydney siege victims Katrina Dawson and Tori Johnson, reports have suggested that both died as heroes.

 

How many weeks til Christmas?

On your To-Do list

Get the "Santa" shopping done without the kids in tow.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.