At my house DS is well behaved typical 9 yrs old behaviours but nothing big, however his father and him just bounce off each other. XH has. GF who DS hates he says she smacks him when naughty and yells at him which she confirmed she did but so does my XH. Last year there was an incident which got DHS involved they got support services in place to help deal an manage DS behaviour at their house. But once they had them a month XH stopped being involved and I kept pushing for them to be more involved in making him go to appointment. Thought this time I have asked DS if he want to live back with me but every time it's NO dad lets me play my play station and stay up late at your house I have rules and early bed times. This hurts so bad we don't have court orders I have tried to keep him here but XH called the police and because his listed under his care with centerlink he had to go back and police told me to go to court. Which I would but I cannot afford it he gets legal aid because he refused to work.
He spends his days sleeping and smoking while DS is at the house sometimes without supervision, DHS knows this and still discharged them from their service. Last week I got yet another call DS keeps running away you need to come get him so I go have a meeting with all of them and once again DS is returned to XH. Now after all this time his contacted child support saying he wants them to collect from I me, until now we had a private arrangement we each have a child therefor neither of us pay each other. The assessment is I pay him $90 a week he has to pay me $1.25 a week. I have never asked him to pay for anything even when i had them 100%, this year i paid for DS school books and uniform cause he said he couldnt afford it and i didnt want DS going to school looking like a hobo. Its so hard I just don't know what to do. I would love DS to come back here but then we had issues on how to get him to school the local school he used to go to and where DD goes and my mum walks her wont take him and we both start work at 7am I cannot quit my job I cannot find before school care for a 9 yr old. I am stressed to the max my heart hurts because I want nothing more than to help DS but XH just makes it do hard!
I'm not sure what I am asking but any advise is welcome I've got the flame suit one no doubt ill need as someone will say I'm a bad mother. Through this DD is just ticking along she is starting to get pushed aside every weekend he is meant to see her she hasn't been there in 6 weeks. Honestly I like she doesn't go but not fair on her.
Anyway anything is welcome
Edited by Anon2003, 21 February 2013 - 08:02 PM.