Edited by Yours+Mine+1, 29 May 2014 - 11:42 PM.
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12 replies to this topic
Posted 21 February 2013 - 10:42 PM
Go to court and get some orders in place and get your son back before his life is completely screwed. I have a 9 year old boy. Couldn't imagine him going through all that crap.
Posted 21 February 2013 - 11:06 PM
Find the money for court this is your son we are talking about, if it means you eat 2 minute noodles for a year then so be it. I know I would do what ever it took to get my son back if he was in that sort of environment.
Posted 21 February 2013 - 11:15 PM
I was reading and you kind of lost me at the part where you couldn't take your son to important appointments because you had work. Yep, it would be more convenient if he took him, but that's not happening.
You need to start taking him, and you need to go to court. Step up.
Posted 21 February 2013 - 11:35 PM
Sounds like your son really needs to be out of that environment. If DOCS got involved it must be pretty bad. The schooling, money and work issues sound difficult, but they seem like secondary concerns at the moment. It sounds like your son is at risk if he is being left unsupervised, his mental health needs aren't being met and there are potentially issues to do with poverty if his dad has a very limited income. Maybe your son has behavioural and possibly mental health issues because of the dad and the environment, rather than necessarily being innately difficult.
I don't think it's such a big issue if your daughter isn't having regular contact with her dad. Her dad's place sounds like a pretty bad environment for a child right at the moment.
It sounds like you're the only one at the moment who is in a position to advocate for your son and make sure he's OK.
Posted 22 February 2013 - 06:12 AM
I agree, get legal advice.
DS seems better in your care. Sounds like your XH is being a childish 9yo too instead of a parent.
You know in your heart, it's hard work to get him back but he's your son and you want whats best for him.
Besides Legal Aid, try and find a local Women's Centre, they can offer support and help you find legal advice and other services that you can use. You don't have to do it alone.
Posted 22 February 2013 - 06:25 AM
If he is running away, report it to DOCS. If he is complaining about being hit, or your XH is complaining he 'can't handle him', call DOCS. Get him back on the radar.
Phone the family court and ask them what you need to do to get parenting orders. It may not be as costly as you think.
Posted 22 February 2013 - 06:52 AM
Go to the family court. Ask if there are any pro bono lawyers that can help - there are plenty of legal advice centres around where you can see a lawyer for free. Even if you have to go a few times.
If you make enough noise, ask for help enough, someone will help you. Even if you have to fill our forms yourself, google information about what to put in them .... you need to do it. Help your son as that sounds like an absolutely tragic situation that is just on the decline.
Posted 22 February 2013 - 06:53 AM
Do what you have to do - everything else comes second.
if I dont work we dont eat/pay rent/live I have zero help from centerlink apart from a pittace of FTB.
Go down to centre link and make an appointment with a social worker. Tell them you are quitting your job to take care of this situation. You will almost surely get payments and information on other services available. Make an appointment with a financial counsellor if you don't know how your going to cope of limited income - get a strict budget in place. Once you have care arrangement sorted you can go back to work. For now, your son is more important than staying off benefits.
Posted 23 February 2013 - 07:38 AM
Given you currently don't get barely any ftb then: if you reduced work hours or went part-time you would have a lower pay and that may qualify you for higher ftb and rent assistance so you may actually not be too much worse off dropping a day or so of work.
Posted 23 February 2013 - 09:38 AM
I would also be trying to get your son back.
right now he is a difficult 9 year old. If things dont' get under control a bit more for him, he will soon be an off the rails teenager, and it is very hard to get control back then.
seize the moment and try to do something now to sort this out and get your son a stable environment.
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