Jump to content

Changing another child's underwear
At a birthday party


  • Please log in to reply
71 replies to this topic

#1 Mamma_mia

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:46 PM

I went to a birthday party the other day for a 6 year old. Most of the parents left the kids there, but I stayed. (Yes I'm a helicopter parent - partly because DS is allergic to nuts, and partly because I just am blush.gif ).

Anyway one of the little boys (around 6 yo) told the host mum that he'd had "an accident" (no. 2) and she took him to the toilet and changed him, taking off his underwear, cleaning him up etc. I thought it was nice of her to do that, as the poor little guy would have been uncomfortable otherwise.

However I was thinking later what I would do if I was the host mum. I don't know if I would be that comfortable doing it - partly due to the "ick" factor, but mainly because I'd be worried the parent of the child would think it was not appropriate when they found out later??

WDYT? Would you change another child if you were the host mum? What would you think if you were the parent of the child? I'm not sure what to think - I'm in two minds about it.

#2 mumandboys

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:48 PM

I'd feel a bit uncomfortable with doing that. But I would do it.  Because the alternative is worse, surely?

I tend to drop and run, but I don't think I'd leave my child at a party if they were likely to have an accident.  Hopefully the other mum at least pre-warned the host mum?

#3 Especially*K*

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:50 PM

What is the alternative..? Letting the kid run around in cr.a.ppy pants? How embarrassing for them!! Yes, i'd change him.

#4 protart roflcoptor

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:51 PM

IMO it's more inappropriate to leave the child with faeces in their pants.

And at 6 they were probably able to handle most of the cleaning of themselves by themselves under supervision while the host mum bagged the offending undies etc.

Why do we have to overthink every little thing????



#5 librablonde

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:51 PM

I'd have no issue with that if it needed to be done. A bum is a bum to me.

#6 ~BumbleBeeeee~

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:52 PM

I think it would be more inappropriate to leave the child in soiled pants, but I do get what you're saying...but if they were handed a bag of dirty clothes then surely the parents must know that it was out of neccessity that their child was changed, not because the host mum was Mrs McDodgy and was being inappropriate?

I would like to think that the parents of the child who had the accident would be thankful that their child was not left to be smelly, uncomfortable, and potentially teased by other kids.

If it were me (and my child had the accident) I would most likely take my bag of soiled clothes home to wash and thank the host mother for caring for my child enough to change him/her original.gif

Edited by ~BumbleBeeeee~, 21 February 2013 - 12:54 PM.


#7 BadCat

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:53 PM

Of course I'd help him get changed.  Although at 6 I would think he'd be able to take care of most of it himself.

#8 Gegemite

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:53 PM

Of course I'd clean up a child who had soiled them self. What's the alternative? Let him sit around in sh*tty jocks so he can smell and potentially be teased by other kids?

If you're that paranoid a quick call to the parent to check it's OK. That said I'd be pretty shocked if a parent told me I couldn't clean up their child.

#9 Bunsen the feral

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:53 PM

If the child is left in your care, can't do it themselves and it needs to be done for the well being of the child then, yes, you do it.

#10 tibs

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:54 PM

I think I'd call the child's mum and see if she wanted to come back herself or if she was happy with someone else tending to it.  This is why as a host and dropper I always exchange numbers - I'd hate for something to go wrong - injury etc - and not be able to be in touch.

#11 IsolaBella

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:55 PM

Like PP I would help.

If it was my child I would be thankful mum helped.

But then again I don't see everyone around me as being a moment away from jail for crimes,

I would've see more problems with leaving child with crappy undies in terms of smell, social problems and potential to leak out.



#12 Taff

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:55 PM

No, I wouldn't  dare change the child without phoning the parent to let her/him know that the child has had a little acciident - I'd  offer to change the child if they can't get back to the party of course, but I'd never change the child without the parents permission.

Kind regards

#13 Kay1

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:55 PM

Yuck I'd hate to be the one to have to do it LOL. But if someone else changed my child I'd feel nothing but sympathy and gratitude!

#14 Julie3Girls

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:57 PM

If you trusted someone enough to leave your child in their care, then I would expect you would trust them enough to give the appropriate level of help in that circumstance.

Personally, at age 6, I would have seen if they could clean themselves up - giving them some wet wipes to do the job.  But if there was no way they could do it, then of course I would help.

#15 ELKO

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:57 PM

If that was my child or I was the host I would be happy for the clean up to happen.

Though at that age I would be encouraging the child to clean themselves with me supervising and assisting (passing wipes, bagging dirty clothes etc) so that I hopefully would not be actually touching the child in any way that could be thought of as innapropriate.

#16 Therese

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:57 PM

I would think that when you are the adult in charge that you just change and clean up the child.

I agree that at 6 the child (with supervision) would be able to clean up most of it anyway.

#17 Beancat

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:58 PM

Of course i'd do it.  The host did the right thing OP (ImO).  If it were my child I be quite cross if the host didn't change him, or at least ring me.  I'd be very greatful that she changed him.

BTW, my son has just been diagnosed with 4 nut allergies so I'll probably be staying around at parties when he is 6 too original.gif


#18 GoneWithTheWhinge

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:59 PM

I'd have just done it and handed over the bag containing the undies at pickup without making a big deal out of it.

If someone had had to help my child like that I would have been extremely grateful that they were kind enough to do that without worrying about whether she should or shouldn't.



#19 Leela321

Posted 21 February 2013 - 01:01 PM

I would assume that the child can clean and change himself. I would provide new underwear but I wouldn't clean the child up unless I knew the parents well.

#20 Feral-as-Meggs

Posted 21 February 2013 - 01:02 PM

Yes, if the child was happy for me to do so.  If they wanted me to call their mum I would do that instead.  



#21 Funky Cold Ribena

Posted 21 February 2013 - 01:02 PM

QUOTE (librablonde @ 21/02/2013, 01:51 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'd have no issue with that if it needed to be done. A bum is a bum to me.


This and I have done as well.

I would much rather have a child clean and comfortable than sitting around in dirty, squelchy undies feeling awkward and getting a sore bum.




#22 annie13

Posted 21 February 2013 - 01:06 PM

Wouldn't think twice about it. I am surprised people would.

#23 ekbaby

Posted 21 February 2013 - 01:08 PM

Yes I would definitely change them, I wouldn't think I needed to ring the parents first.

#24 Studybug

Posted 21 February 2013 - 01:11 PM

QUOTE (Julie3Girls @ 21/02/2013, 12:57 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
If you trusted someone enough to leave your child in their care, then I would expect you would trust them enough to give the appropriate level of help in that circumstance.



QUOTE (meggs1 @ 21/02/2013, 01:02 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Yes, if the child was happy for me to do so.  If they wanted me to call their mum I would do that instead.


Yup, and yup.

yes, yes poo is gross but of course you'd help a child in that predicament.  I would think all the umming and ahhing and hesitation could make a potentially embarassing situation for the kid worse, so yup I'd just smile, say "oops, let's find you some spare pants", pass them the wipes and say "I'm just here if you need a little help".

#25 BetteBoop

Posted 21 February 2013 - 01:16 PM

I don't know. I feel uncomfortable changing other peoples' kids when their parents haven't told the child that it's okay. It's not a very good message for me to give that child.

I help with swimming at DDs school. I'm happy to help the kids put their swimming caps and goggles on, but generally don't touch the undies.

I would probably encourage him to use the toilet and bathroom and only get involved if it was bad news.






1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

How a baby can survive alone for days on end

The baby found abandoned in a Sydney drain may have been alone for up to six days without being fed, leaving many asking how he could have survived.

When it begins to look a lot like Christmas

A child's excitement at Christmas time is a beautiful thing, but one dad ponders whether his toddler daughter is getting into the festive mood a bit too soon.

Hospital lets dads the experience some of the pain of childbirth

A new experience is radically altering men's views of childbirth.

Italian doctors questioned over formula bribes

Italian police have placed 12 doctors under house arrest on suspicion of promoting baby milk formula over breastfeeding.

Heartwarming prank gives single mum the house she was hired to clean

Cara Simmons arrived at work to clean a large and beautiful house in time for a party planned for that evening. It was soon hers.

Those special moments of sibling bonding

Every now and then your child does or says something that is truly memorable.

Why we should stop telling new parents to 'enjoy every moment'

A few weeks ago, some dear friends of mine had their first baby. As the proud dad texted me a picture I had to fight the natural instinct to say “Enjoy every moment!”

Baby monitor footage posted online

Footage of Australian babies and children sleeping in their bedrooms are among the images on a Russian site showing live feeds from thousands of homes and businesses around the world.

Did this new dad really hit on his wife's midwife?

Was there really a man who was actually there by his wife’s side as she laboured and gave birth to his child, all while he was making what he perceived to be meaningful eye contact with a midwife?

Keep calm and ignore the Tantrum Trolls

Tantrum Trolls are a small but growing species of predatory bottom-feeders who delight in picking on parents at their most vulnerable.

It's okay to never 'get over' the death of a loved one

The death of children, siblings, and parents has long term impacts on the rest of our lives.

What Mark Latham needs to know about depression and motherhood

In a bizarre bid for relevancy, Former Opposition leader Mark Latham has deduced that because one female journalist had this week light-heartedly thanked antidepressants and caffeine for getting her through a medical degree while raising two small children, that ergo, all 'inner-city feminists' are selfish harridans who despise their offspring.

'We're just trying to keep our child alive': life with FPIES

We have a beautiful seven-month-old son, and his allergy rules our life.

Transgender dad breastfeeds his babies

A transgender man who breastfed his first baby - despite having his breasts removed as part of his transformation from female to male - has now had a second child.

Couple face $1 million medical bill and bankruptcy after babymoon birth

A Canadian couple were slammed with a million dollar medical bill after their daughter was prematurely during their babymoon.

Win one of 5 Little Tikes Cozy Coupe Sport

Australia?s No 1 selling car is now available in a Sports model and we have 5 to give away to some lucky Essential Baby families.

Cigarettes, junk food dominate supermarket sales growth

One in every five dollars spent at supermarkets goes on cigarettes or junk food, according to industry data.

Teacher under fire for breastfeeding in class

There is no doubt mums have a right to continue breastfeeding after they have returned to work, but one teacher in the US has taken it to the extreme.

Video: Baby sniffs beardless dad to make sure it's him

She looks him up and down and then touches his chin, but baby Lindsey still isn't sure this clean-shaven man is her dad.

The tragedy of losing a favourite teddy bear

We were green and uninitiated, perhaps a little naïve when it came to the favourite toy responsibility.

It's possible to workout while pregnant

Medical experts say intense fitness routines can be done safely during pregnancy - if the mums-to-be follow some guidelines.

Baby for Asher Keddie and Vincent Fantauzzo

Fans followed every step of her on-screen pregnancy in Offspring, now Asher Keddie is going to be a mum in real life too.

What parents really want for their kids

Are our hopes, dreams and expectations for our children what they really need?

'I had a feeling something was seriously wrong': the fight for Kaden's diagnosis

Before even giving birth, Katie Myers' maternal instincts warned her something was wrong with her baby.

Win a family pass to Disney Live!

We have 4 family passes to give away to see Disney Live! presents Three Classic Fairy Tales, touring Australia this December/January.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win one of 5 Little Tikes Cozy Coupe Sport

Australia?s No 1 selling car is now available in a Sports model and we have 5 to give away to some lucky Essential Baby families.

Join PADDINGTON on the red carpet!

To celebrate the release of PADDINGTON, we are giving five lucky winners the chance to win a family pass to the exclusive Australian Premiere in Sydney on December 7!

When your pregnancy causes a relationship rift

Some dads-to-be don't miss a beat when their partner is pregnant; others struggle with a range of issues and can become withdrawn, right when their support is needed most.

Couple uses group photo trick to announce pregnancy to loved ones

Katharine and Kris Camilli devised a clever trick to immortalise their family and friends' reactions to their exciting pregnancy news.

Why Tracey Spicer has given up make-up

"After 30 years on television, I had become what I despised: a painted doll who spent an hour a day and close to $200 a week putting on a mask."

Knowing you are one of the lucky ones

I am secure, confident and strong, but the responsibility of protecting my children can almost bring me undone.

Why I am so emotional now I have kids?

There are so many ways in which parenthood changes us as women, but one of the most noticeable, for me, has been the changing state of my emotions.

Baby survives despite sharing womb with 'foreign body'

Baby Maia was conceived against the odds, only to find she was sharing a womb with an ominous "foreign body".

Video: Baby shows dog how to jump - or vice versa

They say dog is man's best friend, but this playful pooch seems to have chosen a jumping baby as her number one buddy.

10 ways to soothe a crying baby

New paernts can get frustrated when their newborn gets fussy and can't settle down. When you're feeling overwhelmed, try some of these simple tips to help soothe your baby.

20 baby names that are becoming more popular every year

The data-lovers at nameberry.com have been at it again – this time, they’ve discovered the names that are continually rising up the ranks, ready to take out some top spots in the next few years.

10 great meals to make for new parents

Ideally, you want to give food that isn’t expensive to make, isn't too difficult to create, and freezes well; stews, bakes, soups and pasta sauces are perfect.

'It's not you, it's me': Boston bombing survivor mum to have leg amputated

Rebekah DiMartino is going through a break-up. She even wrote a farewell love letter. But it's not to her husband.

What it's like to go through early menopause

In a cruel twist, Carla had been breastfeeding and perimenopausal at the same time. But she's far from the only one to go through menopause early.

Weird pregnancy products

Some pregnancy products come to market and are just awesome. Others just leave you scratching your head.

Restaurant served alcohol to two-year-old

Busy restaurants can be forgiven for getting food and drink orders mixed up from time to time, but not when the confusion leads to a two-year-old being served an alcoholic cocktail instead of the child-friendly beverage they ordered.

Julia Morris tells of miscarriage on a flight

Julia Morris has spoken about the devastation of suffering a miscarriage while on an international flight.

Woman's survival after birth 'a story of two miracles'

A US mother is home and tending to her new baby less than a month after surviving without a pulse for 45 minutes.

Best maternity swimwear and beach cover-ups

Thinking about a tropical babymoon but have nothing to wear? Here are some great swimwear and beach cover-up options for mums-to-be.

Model's bath photo 'inappropriate'

It was a seemingly innocent photo of a family in the bath - but Facebook wasn't happy.

 

How many weeks til Christmas?

On your To-Do list

Get the "Santa" shopping done without the kids in tow.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.