Jump to content

Changing another child's underwear
At a birthday party


  • Please log in to reply
71 replies to this topic

#1 Mamma_mia

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:46 PM

I went to a birthday party the other day for a 6 year old. Most of the parents left the kids there, but I stayed. (Yes I'm a helicopter parent - partly because DS is allergic to nuts, and partly because I just am blush.gif ).

Anyway one of the little boys (around 6 yo) told the host mum that he'd had "an accident" (no. 2) and she took him to the toilet and changed him, taking off his underwear, cleaning him up etc. I thought it was nice of her to do that, as the poor little guy would have been uncomfortable otherwise.

However I was thinking later what I would do if I was the host mum. I don't know if I would be that comfortable doing it - partly due to the "ick" factor, but mainly because I'd be worried the parent of the child would think it was not appropriate when they found out later??

WDYT? Would you change another child if you were the host mum? What would you think if you were the parent of the child? I'm not sure what to think - I'm in two minds about it.

#2 mumandboys

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:48 PM

I'd feel a bit uncomfortable with doing that. But I would do it.  Because the alternative is worse, surely?

I tend to drop and run, but I don't think I'd leave my child at a party if they were likely to have an accident.  Hopefully the other mum at least pre-warned the host mum?

#3 Especially*K*

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:50 PM

What is the alternative..? Letting the kid run around in cr.a.ppy pants? How embarrassing for them!! Yes, i'd change him.

#4 protart roflcoptor

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:51 PM

IMO it's more inappropriate to leave the child with faeces in their pants.

And at 6 they were probably able to handle most of the cleaning of themselves by themselves under supervision while the host mum bagged the offending undies etc.

Why do we have to overthink every little thing????



#5 librablonde

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:51 PM

I'd have no issue with that if it needed to be done. A bum is a bum to me.

#6 ~BumbleBeeeee~

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:52 PM

I think it would be more inappropriate to leave the child in soiled pants, but I do get what you're saying...but if they were handed a bag of dirty clothes then surely the parents must know that it was out of neccessity that their child was changed, not because the host mum was Mrs McDodgy and was being inappropriate?

I would like to think that the parents of the child who had the accident would be thankful that their child was not left to be smelly, uncomfortable, and potentially teased by other kids.

If it were me (and my child had the accident) I would most likely take my bag of soiled clothes home to wash and thank the host mother for caring for my child enough to change him/her original.gif

Edited by ~BumbleBeeeee~, 21 February 2013 - 12:54 PM.


#7 BadCat

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:53 PM

Of course I'd help him get changed.  Although at 6 I would think he'd be able to take care of most of it himself.

#8 Gegemite

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:53 PM

Of course I'd clean up a child who had soiled them self. What's the alternative? Let him sit around in sh*tty jocks so he can smell and potentially be teased by other kids?

If you're that paranoid a quick call to the parent to check it's OK. That said I'd be pretty shocked if a parent told me I couldn't clean up their child.

#9 Bunsen the feral

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:53 PM

If the child is left in your care, can't do it themselves and it needs to be done for the well being of the child then, yes, you do it.

#10 tibs

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:54 PM

I think I'd call the child's mum and see if she wanted to come back herself or if she was happy with someone else tending to it.  This is why as a host and dropper I always exchange numbers - I'd hate for something to go wrong - injury etc - and not be able to be in touch.

#11 IsolaBella

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:55 PM

Like PP I would help.

If it was my child I would be thankful mum helped.

But then again I don't see everyone around me as being a moment away from jail for crimes,

I would've see more problems with leaving child with crappy undies in terms of smell, social problems and potential to leak out.



#12 Taff

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:55 PM

No, I wouldn't  dare change the child without phoning the parent to let her/him know that the child has had a little acciident - I'd  offer to change the child if they can't get back to the party of course, but I'd never change the child without the parents permission.

Kind regards

#13 Kay1

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:55 PM

Yuck I'd hate to be the one to have to do it LOL. But if someone else changed my child I'd feel nothing but sympathy and gratitude!

#14 Julie3Girls

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:57 PM

If you trusted someone enough to leave your child in their care, then I would expect you would trust them enough to give the appropriate level of help in that circumstance.

Personally, at age 6, I would have seen if they could clean themselves up - giving them some wet wipes to do the job.  But if there was no way they could do it, then of course I would help.

#15 ELKO

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:57 PM

If that was my child or I was the host I would be happy for the clean up to happen.

Though at that age I would be encouraging the child to clean themselves with me supervising and assisting (passing wipes, bagging dirty clothes etc) so that I hopefully would not be actually touching the child in any way that could be thought of as innapropriate.

#16 Therese

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:57 PM

I would think that when you are the adult in charge that you just change and clean up the child.

I agree that at 6 the child (with supervision) would be able to clean up most of it anyway.

#17 Beancat

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:58 PM

Of course i'd do it.  The host did the right thing OP (ImO).  If it were my child I be quite cross if the host didn't change him, or at least ring me.  I'd be very greatful that she changed him.

BTW, my son has just been diagnosed with 4 nut allergies so I'll probably be staying around at parties when he is 6 too original.gif


#18 GoneWithTheWhinge

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:59 PM

I'd have just done it and handed over the bag containing the undies at pickup without making a big deal out of it.

If someone had had to help my child like that I would have been extremely grateful that they were kind enough to do that without worrying about whether she should or shouldn't.



#19 Leela321

Posted 21 February 2013 - 01:01 PM

I would assume that the child can clean and change himself. I would provide new underwear but I wouldn't clean the child up unless I knew the parents well.

#20 Feral-as-Meggs

Posted 21 February 2013 - 01:02 PM

Yes, if the child was happy for me to do so.  If they wanted me to call their mum I would do that instead.  



#21 Funky Cold Ribena

Posted 21 February 2013 - 01:02 PM

QUOTE (librablonde @ 21/02/2013, 01:51 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'd have no issue with that if it needed to be done. A bum is a bum to me.


This and I have done as well.

I would much rather have a child clean and comfortable than sitting around in dirty, squelchy undies feeling awkward and getting a sore bum.




#22 annie13

Posted 21 February 2013 - 01:06 PM

Wouldn't think twice about it. I am surprised people would.

#23 ekbaby

Posted 21 February 2013 - 01:08 PM

Yes I would definitely change them, I wouldn't think I needed to ring the parents first.

#24 Studybug

Posted 21 February 2013 - 01:11 PM

QUOTE (Julie3Girls @ 21/02/2013, 12:57 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
If you trusted someone enough to leave your child in their care, then I would expect you would trust them enough to give the appropriate level of help in that circumstance.



QUOTE (meggs1 @ 21/02/2013, 01:02 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Yes, if the child was happy for me to do so.  If they wanted me to call their mum I would do that instead.


Yup, and yup.

yes, yes poo is gross but of course you'd help a child in that predicament.  I would think all the umming and ahhing and hesitation could make a potentially embarassing situation for the kid worse, so yup I'd just smile, say "oops, let's find you some spare pants", pass them the wipes and say "I'm just here if you need a little help".

#25 BetteBoop

Posted 21 February 2013 - 01:16 PM

I don't know. I feel uncomfortable changing other peoples' kids when their parents haven't told the child that it's okay. It's not a very good message for me to give that child.

I help with swimming at DDs school. I'm happy to help the kids put their swimming caps and goggles on, but generally don't touch the undies.

I would probably encourage him to use the toilet and bathroom and only get involved if it was bad news.






1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

WIN a $500 Visa debit card

Are you a parent? Simply take our survey for your chance to win a $500 pre-paid VISA debit card.

Breastfeeding doesn't make you a better mum - feeding your baby does

Given my immense dislike of Hopkins and her opinions, I was genuinely shocked to discover that last week she actually said something that I agreed with.

'Toni, another baby has died': the anguish of watching governments fail our babies

It has been six years since whooping cough claimed the life of four-week-old Dana McCaffery. Her parents are angry that lessons learnt weren't enough to save other babies.

Longer breastfeeding linked to higher IQ

A study of 3500 infants has found that babies who are breastfed grow up to be more intelligent and wealthy.

The 2015 flu vaccine: what's new, who should get it

For certain members of the community, catching flu can lead to severe illness or death. A vaccination can be lifesaving.

Dealing with a nappy escape artist

I hear about the tots that have a penchant for ripping their nappies off and the odd one that even smears the brown stuff on the walls and fine home furnishings, and I shudder.

Hospital apologises for 'traumatising' baby mix-up

St Vincent's Hospital has apologised "unreservedly" for a baby mix-up that left one new mum traumatised.

Tips for flying with a baby

Travelling with kids requires a whole other set of skills - ones that I have learned through (sometimes unfortunate) trial and error.

How to stay calm in an emergency

I’m not expecting you to be as calm as you might be right now. What I mean is that if your panic levels are through the roof during a stressful situation, let’s bring them down to just under the ceiling.

Toddler gets 'drunk' after cranberry juice mix-up

A toddler was taken to hospital after a waitress served her sangria instead of cranberry juice at a US restaurant.

We need to stop using this word when we talk about childbirth

Is it shaming to point out that women are often being let down in birth?

The certificate helping parents deal with pregnancy loss

For some people, this certificate will offer a sense of validation that their child was acknowledged as being here and now gone, and will help them with life post-loss.

Grieving families give warnings after toddler deaths

Two Queensland families are grieving the loss of their toddler sons after the boys drowned in separate incidents last week.

The phenomenon of phantom pregnancy kicks

'Phantom pregnancy kicks’ are encountered by many mums months - or even years - after their pregnancy is over.

The health insurance advice you can't afford to ignore

There's one simple switch that could save you hundreds of dollars a year in private health insurance.

4D scans show how smoking affects babies still in the womb

The harmful effects of smoking during pregnancy on unborn babies may be seen in tiny movements in their faces using 4D ultrasound scans, research has found.

How to babyproof your job interview

Once upon a time, I was a fan of job interviews. That all changed after I'd switched careers, had a baby and decided to spend the first year at home with her.

Sign up to our 30 days of #PlayIQ challenge

Sign up to receive 30 amazing tips and ideas for play with baby during the month of April and submit a picture or tip on our social wall for a chance to win an amazing Fisher-Price prize pack.

The most dangerous toddler food trends

Pete Evans' paleo cookbook for kids caused a storm, but there are plenty of other unsafe food trends for babies and toddlers.

Infection killed new mum of twins

Modern medicine could not save 19-year-old Sophie Burgess who died 48 hours after giving birth to twins in the UK.

Win a Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom prize pack

To celebrate the April 1 release of Holly's Magic Wand on DVD and Digital, we are giving away five DVD packs featuring the newest installment of Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom Holly's Magic Wand and many more hours of family entertainment! Enter Now!

Special Ticket Offer, Save $8!

The Essential Baby & Toddler Show is back this April! Save $8 off the door price for a limited time only!

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Sign up to our 30 days of #PlayIQ challenge

Sign up to receive 30 amazing tips and ideas for play with baby during the month of April and submit a picture or tip on our social wall for a chance to win an amazing Fisher-Price prize pack.

Man faces jail after giving woman abortion pill smoothie

A Norwegian man is facing jail after putting abortion pills in his ex-girlfriend's smoothie, causing her to have a miscarriage.

'He's a blessing': family of baby born without eyes

Jordy Jackson was born without eyes. He has anophthalmia, which affects one in every 100,000 babies born.

Win one of 5 Cadbury Easter Hampers

With Easter fast approaching, Cadbury are giving away 5 Cadbury Easter Hampers. Enter Now!

Super fit model Sarah Stage defends her pregnancy body

Model Sarah Stage has defended her pregnancy body after critics claimed her slim figure at eight-and-a-half months pregnant wasn't "normal".

Win a Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom and Peppa Pig prize pack

To celebrate the April 1 release of Holly's Magic Wand on DVD and Digital, Essential Baby and Entertainment One are giving away five bumper DVD packs featuring the newest installment of Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom Holly's Magic Wand and many more hours of family entertainment! Enter Now!

Why I post breastfeeding photos online

I love to take pictures of my children. In some of the pictures, my younger son is nursing.

The day I broke my baby

There are things I wish I didn't know. I wish I didn't know that companies make tiny braces, small enough to hold necks no bigger than a wrist.

The place just for dads of multiples

When a couple discovers they're expecting multiples, the dad can sometimes be almost forgotten in all the excitement and preparation. But one group offers a space just for dads of twins and higher-order multiples.

Brave mum calls for domestic violence law reform

A brave mum of two has shared details of the harrowing attacks she suffered at the hands of her partner in a bid to help other victims of domestic violence.

Why I had the new test for Down syndrome

Early last year I turned 35, and having just found out I was pregnant, I opted to have the new test for Down syndrome.

Geeky baby gear

If your family is more into Star Wars, gaming and the periodic table than most, you might want to check out these geek-chic baby items.

2015: the year of the sheep

According to the Chinese zodiac, babies born in the year of the sheep are creative and enjoy spending quiet time with their own thoughts.

Breakthrough genetic testing now available in Australia

Pregnant women will for the first time have access to locally analysed, accurate, non-invasive pre-natal genetic testing when the first Australian clinic to offer the services opens its doors next week.

Grandbabies: the babies born looking old

Not a day under 65 and a lifetime of struggle! That's the look of these newborns, who look adorably older than their real age. Social networking site Reddit recently featured user submissions of adorable grandbabies, here are our favourites.

Family kicked off flight after toddler seatbelt drama

An entire family was kicked off a Cathay Pacific flight when a misbehaving toddler refused to put his seatbelt on.

Stolen baby found after 17 years

A baby stolen from her mother's arms shortly after birth has been found through an astonishing coincidence.

53 creative pregnancy announcements

Announcing that you're expecting can be a time to express your creativity, sense of humour and imagination. Check out how other parents and parents-to-be have broken the news to friends and family.

IKEA hacks for the nursery and kids' rooms

Are you one of those that know the whole IKEA catalogue by heart? Love their stuff but want to personalise it? Here's some inspiration to help you realise the potential of IKEA furniture and fittings.

36 baby names inspired by food and drinks

A French court may have ruled out Nutella as a baby name, but that doesn't have to stop you from taking inspiration from the supermarket (or bottle shop). See what parents in the US have chosen for their delicious little ones.

Clever breastfeeding products

Check out this range of products designed to help make your breastfeeding journey more enjoyable, manageable and convenient.

 

Sign up now!

30 days of #PlayIQ challenge

Receive a daily email from Essential Baby during April with great play tips and ideas, then submit your baby at play photos to our Playwall, Instagram or Twitter for your chance to win.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.