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Changing another child's underwear
At a birthday party


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71 replies to this topic

#1 Scarlett O

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:46 PM

I went to a birthday party the other day for a 6 year old. Most of the parents left the kids there, but I stayed. (Yes I'm a helicopter parent - partly because DS is allergic to nuts, and partly because I just am blush.gif ).

Anyway one of the little boys (around 6 yo) told the host mum that he'd had "an accident" (no. 2) and she took him to the toilet and changed him, taking off his underwear, cleaning him up etc. I thought it was nice of her to do that, as the poor little guy would have been uncomfortable otherwise.

However I was thinking later what I would do if I was the host mum. I don't know if I would be that comfortable doing it - partly due to the "ick" factor, but mainly because I'd be worried the parent of the child would think it was not appropriate when they found out later??

WDYT? Would you change another child if you were the host mum? What would you think if you were the parent of the child? I'm not sure what to think - I'm in two minds about it.

#2 mumandboys

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:48 PM

I'd feel a bit uncomfortable with doing that. But I would do it.  Because the alternative is worse, surely?

I tend to drop and run, but I don't think I'd leave my child at a party if they were likely to have an accident.  Hopefully the other mum at least pre-warned the host mum?

#3 Especially*K*

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:50 PM

What is the alternative..? Letting the kid run around in cr.a.ppy pants? How embarrassing for them!! Yes, i'd change him.

#4 protart roflcoptor

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:51 PM

IMO it's more inappropriate to leave the child with faeces in their pants.

And at 6 they were probably able to handle most of the cleaning of themselves by themselves under supervision while the host mum bagged the offending undies etc.

Why do we have to overthink every little thing????



#5 librablonde

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:51 PM

I'd have no issue with that if it needed to be done. A bum is a bum to me.

#6 ~BumbleBeeeee~

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:52 PM

I think it would be more inappropriate to leave the child in soiled pants, but I do get what you're saying...but if they were handed a bag of dirty clothes then surely the parents must know that it was out of neccessity that their child was changed, not because the host mum was Mrs McDodgy and was being inappropriate?

I would like to think that the parents of the child who had the accident would be thankful that their child was not left to be smelly, uncomfortable, and potentially teased by other kids.

If it were me (and my child had the accident) I would most likely take my bag of soiled clothes home to wash and thank the host mother for caring for my child enough to change him/her original.gif

Edited by ~BumbleBeeeee~, 21 February 2013 - 12:54 PM.


#7 BadCat

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:53 PM

Of course I'd help him get changed.  Although at 6 I would think he'd be able to take care of most of it himself.

#8 Gegemite

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:53 PM

Of course I'd clean up a child who had soiled them self. What's the alternative? Let him sit around in sh*tty jocks so he can smell and potentially beĀ teased by other kids?

If you're that paranoid a quick call to the parent to check it's OK. That said I'd be pretty shocked if a parent told me I couldn't clean up their child.

#9 Bunsen the feral

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:53 PM

If the child is left in your care, can't do it themselves and it needs to be done for the well being of the child then, yes, you do it.

#10 tibs

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:54 PM

I think I'd call the child's mum and see if she wanted to come back herself or if she was happy with someone else tending to it.  This is why as a host and dropper I always exchange numbers - I'd hate for something to go wrong - injury etc - and not be able to be in touch.

#11 Isolabella

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:55 PM

Like PP I would help.

If it was my child I would be thankful mum helped.

But then again I don't see everyone around me as being a moment away from jail for crimes,

I would've see more problems with leaving child with crappy undies in terms of smell, social problems and potential to leak out.



#12 Taff

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:55 PM

No, I wouldn't  dare change the child without phoning the parent to let her/him know that the child has had a little acciident - I'd  offer to change the child if they can't get back to the party of course, but I'd never change the child without the parents permission.

Kind regards

#13 Kay1

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:55 PM

Yuck I'd hate to be the one to have to do it LOL. But if someone else changed my child I'd feel nothing but sympathy and gratitude!

#14 Julie3Girls

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:57 PM

If you trusted someone enough to leave your child in their care, then I would expect you would trust them enough to give the appropriate level of help in that circumstance.

Personally, at age 6, I would have seen if they could clean themselves up - giving them some wet wipes to do the job.  But if there was no way they could do it, then of course I would help.

#15 ELKO

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:57 PM

If that was my child or I was the host I would be happy for the clean up to happen.

Though at that age I would be encouraging the child to clean themselves with me supervising and assisting (passing wipes, bagging dirty clothes etc) so that I hopefully would not be actually touching the child in any way that could be thought of as innapropriate.

#16 Therese

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:57 PM

I would think that when you are the adult in charge that you just change and clean up the child.

I agree that at 6 the child (with supervision) would be able to clean up most of it anyway.

#17 Beancat

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:58 PM

Of course i'd do it.  The host did the right thing OP (ImO).  If it were my child I be quite cross if the host didn't change him, or at least ring me.  I'd be very greatful that she changed him.

BTW, my son has just been diagnosed with 4 nut allergies so I'll probably be staying around at parties when he is 6 too original.gif


#18 GoneWithTheWhinge

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:59 PM

I'd have just done it and handed over the bag containing the undies at pickup without making a big deal out of it.

If someone had had to help my child like that I would have been extremely grateful that they were kind enough to do that without worrying about whether she should or shouldn't.



#19 Leela321

Posted 21 February 2013 - 01:01 PM

I would assume that the child can clean and change himself. I would provide new underwear but I wouldn't clean the child up unless I knew the parents well.

#20 Feral-as-Meggs

Posted 21 February 2013 - 01:02 PM

Yes, if the child was happy for me to do so.  If they wanted me to call their mum I would do that instead.  



#21 PattiODoors

Posted 21 February 2013 - 01:02 PM

QUOTE (librablonde @ 21/02/2013, 01:51 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'd have no issue with that if it needed to be done. A bum is a bum to me.


This and I have done as well.

I would much rather have a child clean and comfortable than sitting around in dirty, squelchy undies feeling awkward and getting a sore bum.




#22 annie13

Posted 21 February 2013 - 01:06 PM

Wouldn't think twice about it. I am surprised people would.

#23 ekbaby

Posted 21 February 2013 - 01:08 PM

Yes I would definitely change them, I wouldn't think I needed to ring the parents first.

#24 spear_maiden

Posted 21 February 2013 - 01:11 PM

QUOTE (Julie3Girls @ 21/02/2013, 12:57 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
If you trusted someone enough to leave your child in their care, then I would expect you would trust them enough to give the appropriate level of help in that circumstance.



QUOTE (meggs1 @ 21/02/2013, 01:02 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Yes, if the child was happy for me to do so.  If they wanted me to call their mum I would do that instead.


Yup, and yup.

yes, yes poo is gross but of course you'd help a child in that predicament.  I would think all the umming and ahhing and hesitation could make a potentially embarassing situation for the kid worse, so yup I'd just smile, say "oops, let's find you some spare pants", pass them the wipes and say "I'm just here if you need a little help".

#25 BetteBoop

Posted 21 February 2013 - 01:16 PM

I don't know. I feel uncomfortable changing other peoples' kids when their parents haven't told the child that it's okay. It's not a very good message for me to give that child.

I help with swimming at DDs school. I'm happy to help the kids put their swimming caps and goggles on, but generally don't touch the undies.

I would probably encourage him to use the toilet and bathroom and only get involved if it was bad news.






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