Jump to content

Changing another child's underwear
At a birthday party


  • Please log in to reply
71 replies to this topic

#1 Scarlett O

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:46 PM

I went to a birthday party the other day for a 6 year old. Most of the parents left the kids there, but I stayed. (Yes I'm a helicopter parent - partly because DS is allergic to nuts, and partly because I just am blush.gif ).

Anyway one of the little boys (around 6 yo) told the host mum that he'd had "an accident" (no. 2) and she took him to the toilet and changed him, taking off his underwear, cleaning him up etc. I thought it was nice of her to do that, as the poor little guy would have been uncomfortable otherwise.

However I was thinking later what I would do if I was the host mum. I don't know if I would be that comfortable doing it - partly due to the "ick" factor, but mainly because I'd be worried the parent of the child would think it was not appropriate when they found out later??

WDYT? Would you change another child if you were the host mum? What would you think if you were the parent of the child? I'm not sure what to think - I'm in two minds about it.

#2 mumandboys

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:48 PM

I'd feel a bit uncomfortable with doing that. But I would do it.  Because the alternative is worse, surely?

I tend to drop and run, but I don't think I'd leave my child at a party if they were likely to have an accident.  Hopefully the other mum at least pre-warned the host mum?

#3 Especially*K*

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:50 PM

What is the alternative..? Letting the kid run around in cr.a.ppy pants? How embarrassing for them!! Yes, i'd change him.

#4 protart roflcoptor

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:51 PM

IMO it's more inappropriate to leave the child with faeces in their pants.

And at 6 they were probably able to handle most of the cleaning of themselves by themselves under supervision while the host mum bagged the offending undies etc.

Why do we have to overthink every little thing????



#5 librablonde

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:51 PM

I'd have no issue with that if it needed to be done. A bum is a bum to me.

#6 ~BumbleBeeeee~

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:52 PM

I think it would be more inappropriate to leave the child in soiled pants, but I do get what you're saying...but if they were handed a bag of dirty clothes then surely the parents must know that it was out of neccessity that their child was changed, not because the host mum was Mrs McDodgy and was being inappropriate?

I would like to think that the parents of the child who had the accident would be thankful that their child was not left to be smelly, uncomfortable, and potentially teased by other kids.

If it were me (and my child had the accident) I would most likely take my bag of soiled clothes home to wash and thank the host mother for caring for my child enough to change him/her original.gif

Edited by ~BumbleBeeeee~, 21 February 2013 - 12:54 PM.


#7 BadCat

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:53 PM

Of course I'd help him get changed.  Although at 6 I would think he'd be able to take care of most of it himself.

#8 Gegemite

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:53 PM

Of course I'd clean up a child who had soiled them self. What's the alternative? Let him sit around in sh*tty jocks so he can smell and potentially be teased by other kids?

If you're that paranoid a quick call to the parent to check it's OK. That said I'd be pretty shocked if a parent told me I couldn't clean up their child.

#9 Bunsen the feral

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:53 PM

If the child is left in your care, can't do it themselves and it needs to be done for the well being of the child then, yes, you do it.

#10 tibs

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:54 PM

I think I'd call the child's mum and see if she wanted to come back herself or if she was happy with someone else tending to it.  This is why as a host and dropper I always exchange numbers - I'd hate for something to go wrong - injury etc - and not be able to be in touch.

#11 Isolabella

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:55 PM

Like PP I would help.

If it was my child I would be thankful mum helped.

But then again I don't see everyone around me as being a moment away from jail for crimes,

I would've see more problems with leaving child with crappy undies in terms of smell, social problems and potential to leak out.



#12 Taff

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:55 PM

No, I wouldn't  dare change the child without phoning the parent to let her/him know that the child has had a little acciident - I'd  offer to change the child if they can't get back to the party of course, but I'd never change the child without the parents permission.

Kind regards

#13 Kay1

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:55 PM

Yuck I'd hate to be the one to have to do it LOL. But if someone else changed my child I'd feel nothing but sympathy and gratitude!

#14 Julie3Girls

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:57 PM

If you trusted someone enough to leave your child in their care, then I would expect you would trust them enough to give the appropriate level of help in that circumstance.

Personally, at age 6, I would have seen if they could clean themselves up - giving them some wet wipes to do the job.  But if there was no way they could do it, then of course I would help.

#15 ELKO

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:57 PM

If that was my child or I was the host I would be happy for the clean up to happen.

Though at that age I would be encouraging the child to clean themselves with me supervising and assisting (passing wipes, bagging dirty clothes etc) so that I hopefully would not be actually touching the child in any way that could be thought of as innapropriate.

#16 Therese

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:57 PM

I would think that when you are the adult in charge that you just change and clean up the child.

I agree that at 6 the child (with supervision) would be able to clean up most of it anyway.

#17 Beancat

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:58 PM

Of course i'd do it.  The host did the right thing OP (ImO).  If it were my child I be quite cross if the host didn't change him, or at least ring me.  I'd be very greatful that she changed him.

BTW, my son has just been diagnosed with 4 nut allergies so I'll probably be staying around at parties when he is 6 too original.gif


#18 GoneWithTheWhinge

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:59 PM

I'd have just done it and handed over the bag containing the undies at pickup without making a big deal out of it.

If someone had had to help my child like that I would have been extremely grateful that they were kind enough to do that without worrying about whether she should or shouldn't.



#19 Leela321

Posted 21 February 2013 - 01:01 PM

I would assume that the child can clean and change himself. I would provide new underwear but I wouldn't clean the child up unless I knew the parents well.

#20 Feral-as-Meggs

Posted 21 February 2013 - 01:02 PM

Yes, if the child was happy for me to do so.  If they wanted me to call their mum I would do that instead.  



#21 PattiODoors

Posted 21 February 2013 - 01:02 PM

QUOTE (librablonde @ 21/02/2013, 01:51 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'd have no issue with that if it needed to be done. A bum is a bum to me.


This and I have done as well.

I would much rather have a child clean and comfortable than sitting around in dirty, squelchy undies feeling awkward and getting a sore bum.




#22 annie13

Posted 21 February 2013 - 01:06 PM

Wouldn't think twice about it. I am surprised people would.

#23 ekbaby

Posted 21 February 2013 - 01:08 PM

Yes I would definitely change them, I wouldn't think I needed to ring the parents first.

#24 spear_maiden

Posted 21 February 2013 - 01:11 PM

QUOTE (Julie3Girls @ 21/02/2013, 12:57 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
If you trusted someone enough to leave your child in their care, then I would expect you would trust them enough to give the appropriate level of help in that circumstance.



QUOTE (meggs1 @ 21/02/2013, 01:02 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Yes, if the child was happy for me to do so.  If they wanted me to call their mum I would do that instead.


Yup, and yup.

yes, yes poo is gross but of course you'd help a child in that predicament.  I would think all the umming and ahhing and hesitation could make a potentially embarassing situation for the kid worse, so yup I'd just smile, say "oops, let's find you some spare pants", pass them the wipes and say "I'm just here if you need a little help".

#25 BetteBoop

Posted 21 February 2013 - 01:16 PM

I don't know. I feel uncomfortable changing other peoples' kids when their parents haven't told the child that it's okay. It's not a very good message for me to give that child.

I help with swimming at DDs school. I'm happy to help the kids put their swimming caps and goggles on, but generally don't touch the undies.

I would probably encourage him to use the toilet and bathroom and only get involved if it was bad news.






1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Wondersuit heaven: Bonds & Disney launch exclusive collection

Bonds and Disney fans with babies to buy for will be celebrating this news. Bonds and Disney have just released collaboration Wondersuits.

Town welcomes first baby in 28 years

Since the 1980s, the Italian town of Ostana had not seen the birth of a single baby.

Great-great-grandma delivers great grandchild in her own home

''I've delivered calves, lambs, dogs and cats, but nothing like this.'' This 'Super Gran' calmly peeled the amniotic sac over her great-grandson's head before discovering the umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck ... twice.

How to start teaching your kids road safety

It's something that can be taught as early as possible and reinforced as they get older and more mobile - even from toddlerhood.

Just announced: Bugaboo Cameleon³ Classic+ Collection update

Meet the brand new understated chic model from Bugaboo.

The emotional moment a mum hears her late son's heartbeat

It's been two and a half years since Heather Clark's seven-month-old son Lukas passed away.

Nine reasons why you have 'brain fog'

One minute your productivity is skyrocketing and the next you're sitting there trying to focus – just like that you draw blank, your brain, mush.

I had a caesarean and it was beautiful

Guess what? Despite not pushing him out, I cried, and my heart skipped, and I felt the rush of love and pride when I saw him for the first time.

Microcephaly still a mysterious condition around the world

For parents, having a child with microcephaly can mean a life of uncertainty.

7 baby firsts you won't see on milestone charts

Here are a few 'other' baby firsts you may not have been expecting, but you'll want to be ready for.

Why it's important to vaccinate on time

My son was born on the 1 July 2014. It's a fabulous birthday, don't you think? Not only does the first of July ring in a new financial year, but it also means we've hit the year's half way mark.

Naturopath treatment allegedly left baby "days from death"

A naturopath whose treatment of a baby boy allegedly led to the infant being severely ill has pleaded not guilty to charges against her. 

Andy Murray's emotional speech to pregnant wife after Australian Open

A teary-eyed Andy Murray promised pregnant wife Kim he'd be on the next plane home after his turbulent two weeks at the Australian Open came to an end.

This toddler and his duck BFF will melt your heart

A small boy in the US has struck up a quacking good friendship with an unlikely companion ... his pet duck. 

Great news for coffee drinkers - caffeine is good for your heart

Researchers have found that, contrary to prior belief, caffeine does not cause health-threatening heart palpitations.

I always wanted children - but I've found other ways to be maternal

I've always been one of the most maternal women I know.

When only one parent wants to know the gender

For some couples you either both want to know the gender of your unborn baby, or you don't. For others, it's not that simple.

'No jab no play' could hurt disadvantaged children, experts fear

Tough new "no jab no play" laws could hurt children who have not been immunised due to family dysfunction, poverty, or poor access to medical support, experts warn.

Zika virus: Airlines offer refunds to pregnant women

Airlines and cruise companies across the world are offering refunds or travel credits to pregnant women who are scheduled to visit countries struck by the devastating Zika virus.

#meditateonthis: Mums fight back against PND ignorance

Not all women will require medication, but many will. And there isn't and shouldn't be any shame in that.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Penny Wong

'The most hurtful argument in the marriage equality debate'

Labor frontbencher Penny Wong is used to to hearing arguments against same-sex marriage. But for Australia's most prominent gay politician, one hurts more than others.

Does exercise have to be fun to work?

Some things in life are inherently served with a big scoop of fun: balloons, bubbles, cupcakes to name but a few, but exercise?

Hair dye gives woman second-degree burns

She wanted a fresh colour for 2016, but instead she got chemical burns.

Kelly Slater saves mum and toddler from 'freak wave'

A Perth family has thanked US surfing "legend" Kelly Slater after the star saved a mother and a young toddler from "a freak wave" in Hawaii.

Apple recalls millions of power adapters

Tech giant instigates massive international recall of power point adapters due to risk of electric shock.

Toddler's adorable alphabet goes viral

It's impossible not to share this little boy's excitement  about the alphabet.

Tot's nighttime waking saves family's life

Like all tired parents, Monique and Kyle Ruppel were looking forward to the day their 15-month-old daughter Celia would start sleeping through the night. 

Australian mum gives birth to quintuplets

An Australian mum who has shared the ups and downs of carrying quintuplets has welcomed her five babies into the world.

Dad of four girls faints at gender reveal for fifth baby

It was all too much excitement for this dad.

The simple way you can help your baby's language development

The way parents respond to their child's babbling can shape how their infants communicate.

Zika virus is 'spreading explosively': WHO

The World Health Organization announced that it will convene an emergency meeting about Zika.

National database recommended for child protection cases

Baby Ebony was repeatedly failed by the agencies tasked with her protection before her horrific death at the hands of her father, South Australia's deputy coroner says.

Hospitals put babies at risk by ignoring policy on elective caesareans

Thirty-eight weeks or 39? Non-medical factors are pushing women to have elective caesareans earlier than official guidelines - and hospitals are playing along.

Police help deliver baby on busy roadside

Two police officers delivered more than a traffic fine by the side of a busy Melbourne road yesterday.

1D's Louis Tomlinson shares first photo of baby

One Direction's Louis Tomlinson has posted the first picture of his baby boy, Freddie, on social media.

 

FREE TICKET

Free first aid demonstrations daily

Get your free ticket to the Essential Baby & Toddler Show and save $20 - register online now!

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.