Jump to content

Extremely clingy 4 year old


  • Please log in to reply
4 replies to this topic

#1 bmieke

Posted 21 February 2013 - 09:00 AM

Not sure if anyone can help here. It is just that I am so over my daughters behaviour and I have to get it out.

DD is now 4, but has always been a bit of a clingy child. She started preschool at the beginning of last year and cried hysterically every morning, and started up again in the afternoons every day that she attended for the first term (2 days a week). But then it stopped. She was happy, she had friends, everything was good. She also started swimming lessons in that time, absolutely loved it. And she was doing dancing one morning a week, which she loved because 3 of her friends also attended.

Then last October (I think), DH and I were attending a concert and my mum offered to have my kids overnight (their first ever sleep over)....... DD, DS (7) and my niece (also 7). Since then, DD has completely regressed..... Crying at preschool, crying and refusing to swim at swimming lessons and crying and refusing to dance at dancing. I am over it. The other day, she fell asleep in the afternoon and DH arrive home, so I asked him to stay with her while I picked up DS from dancing. When she woke up and found I was not home she lost it.

We have one year til she starts school and I am starting to worry that we are going to have a crappy year, and then she won't separate at school.

Just wondering if anyone has any suggestions on helping her separate again. Just so you know, I don't give in to her..... Eg when she cracked it at swimming last week, she stayed in the pool crying for the lesson rather than getting her out. And her dance teachers and preschool teachers are lovely, so I have no fears in leaving her somewhere that I feel is a safe environment.

#2 CharliMarley

Posted 21 February 2013 - 09:10 AM

I think you need to give in to her, as she is obviously suffering badly from separation anxiety and by being hard on her is only going to make her terribly unhappy and she will remember this time for the rest of her life. I was one of those clingy children and you just have to wait until they grow out of it and get more confidence. Be kind to her. bbighug.gif

#3 Cat People

Posted 21 February 2013 - 09:11 AM

If it was me, I would withdraw her from the non-essential activities until she gains her confidence back.  I don't see the point in doing them if she's upset and not enjoying it.

Lots of reassurance, 'love bombing' - basically just smother her until she feels the confidence to go out on her own again.  IME, trying to push them into things, to push them into independence when they're not ready, makes it worse and they become more clingy.  FWIW ds attends a class with 3-6 yr olds and it's quite common - there a few 3-4 yr olds who have a real struggle separating from mum.



#4 wombat

Posted 21 February 2013 - 09:16 AM

Unfortunately I think some kids are just like that, and try as you might no matter what you do school next year may not be fun for her or you.  My DD was very similar and 7 years on, whilst she has no problems going to school, activities etc, she wouls still rather hang with me on weekends.  A lot is in the personality I think.  It doesn't help that society as a whole places stupid amounts of pressure on us to all raise, independant, self sufficient kids by the time they start school. some kids get there by 5, some not til 15. I honestly don't think we get much say in it.  Good luck.

#5 Jenferal

Posted 21 February 2013 - 02:47 PM

I don't see how leaving her in the pool crying for the whole lesson is doing her any good, let alone the other students.
Maybe she;s scared of the water as well, I was and it took me about 30 years to get over mum making me do swimming lessons every January.





1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

How to tell if your child has a speech or language problem

 Left untreated, children who start school with speech and language difficulties face an increased risk of reading and writing difficulties, more bullying, poorer peer relationships and less enjoyment of school. So, what should parents expect of children at different ages?

Finding your tribe as a new mum

How was my renegade mother's group different from my first? They were my kind of people. My tribe.

Following your child's emotional roadmap

Psychologist Angharad Candlin will guide parents through their child's emotional development during her seminar at the Essential Baby and Toddler Show in Sydney this weekend.

Delivery room surprises: when gender predictions are wrong

Out of all the questions asked of mums-to-be, “Do you know what you're having?” would be right up there in popularity. Sometimes,

The fertility battle we don't talk about

“You’re nowhere near menopausal,” my doctor cheerily informed me, and my heart sank. I don’t want to live with worry about pregnancy anymore.

'My morning sickness was so bad I'm not having any more kids'

“All the horrible stuff was totally worth it to have my son. But there is absolutely no way I could go through it all again.”

The 'no children' wedding invite

It was the wedding of one of my oldest and dearest friends, and she had invited me to be her bridesmaid. It was quite an honour. But there was one problem.

Baby Dylan recovering well after spending five days alone

 For up to five days he lay alone after his mother died of a suspected drug overdose, but eight-month-old Dylan Micallef has made an incredible recovery.

Win a $200 Pumpkin Patch voucher

Fill out this quick survey and tell us in 25 words or less your best pregnancy or parenting tip - you'll go in the draw to win a $200 Pumpkin Patch voucher.

The mystery of William Tyrell, little boy lost

The question remains: How does a little boy simply vanish without a trace?

Woman fights off robber, then gives birth

A thief in the US got more than he bargained for when he try to rob a woman who was nine months pregnant because he figured she would be an easy target.

Video: Two-year-old tells mum off for laughing at her

This little girl is not happy that her mum started laughing during her performance - so she tells her exactly how she feels about it.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Losing yourself to motherhood

While watching your baby grow into a unique little person is exciting and wondrous, the intensity of meeting everyone else?s needs can ever so sneakily overtake your own needs for self-care.

Tearing during delivery: the facts

Almost all women will experience bruising, grazing or tearing after a vaginal birth. Depending on the degree of tearing, there are various treatments available.

6 tips for a day out with a baby and toddler

Outings can be lots of fun with the kids, but there are inevitable challenges. Here's some information about days out to help you be a little more prepared.

Why I invited a dozen people to watch my son's birth

I sent invitations on burgundy scrapbooking paper stamped with a field of poppies, and told each person why I wanted him or her there. I warned that there would be nudity.

Getting labour started: tips for a natural induction

When your baby?s due date comes and goes without so much as a pop - let alone a bang - it can be disheartening. Mums and a doula share their stories of natural inductions.

7 mistakes old hands make with new babies

As I sat across the table from my friend ? me, a seasoned mother of three; her, a brand new mum ? I thought of all the mistakes an old-hand parent can make when visiting a newborn baby.

That's my boy: a dad's diary of the first 4 months

Unbearable anxiety, unspeakable joy, constant exhaustion and bouts of frustration ... The many shocks of first-time fatherhood resound in a dad's diary of his son's early months.

One of the most important things a new mum can do

Finances may not be as cute as a newborn, but with many women?s working arrangements changing post-baby, monetary matters need attention too.

Does this baby say 'I love you'?

She's only 10 weeks old, but this baby is already dividing people around the world.

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

 

My Wellbeing

Making time for me

We look at your wellbeing, covering health, relationships, beauty and fashion, mind and body.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.