Jump to content

Dealing with a jealous dog


  • Please log in to reply
6 replies to this topic

#1 Electric_Blue

Posted 21 February 2013 - 08:50 AM

Hi all,

Hoping someone may have some advice for a situation I'm in. My son is 4 weeks old today and of course he takes up a lot of my time. Especially since I am adjusting to my new life as a mum. Everything has been going mostly well...although the breastfeeding has been a bit of a nightmare...but I think it's improving.

I also have 2 dogs...a Pug x Boston Terrier named Dexter and a pure bred Pug named Rogue. Dexter is 4 years old and Rogue is 3 years old.

My DH and I bought a house in South East Melbourne nearly 4 years ago. My DH was working and living in Portland with his parents (which is a 4.5hr drive from Melbourne) So I lived in the house we bought on my own with Dexter. It was just he and I for 3 months.
My DH was made redundant due to the GFC and moved into our house. Suddenly Dexter no longer had me all to himself. Dexter wasn't too impressed but he got over it.

As my DH and I worked full time and were not home a lot we decided (okay, I nagged DH) to get another dog. So we bought home Rogue. I wouldn't say Dexter was really jealous then...but it was another change for him. He and Rogue play and look after each other. But DH clearly has a soft spot with Rogue (he loves Pugs and she's a pure bred where Dexter isn't) but I made sure Dexter was given attention from me. DH would come home from work and pick up Rogue and play with her. He would also play with Dexter but it's pretty obvious that Rogue is the favourite. But that was okay...Dexter was mine.

However, I've now got a baby and Dexter's not happy. He hasn't shown aggression towards the baby in any way shape or form. But he went to bite my friends 2 year old the other day (mind you she was unintentionally digging her foot into his back) I went to bed and took Dexter with me and when DH came to bed he went to pick up Dexter to take him into his own bed (dogs sleep in the laundry) and Dexter growled at him.
When I am breastfeeding Rogue will lie down next to me...and Dexter will lie in my lap. Of course this isn't ideal so I kick them both off me.

I'm not sure what to do to make Dexter feel a bit more at ease with this change. I understand that once upon a time it was just he and I and it's gone from DH, to another dog and now a baby. Those changes must be really big for him. My DH did bring home a baby blanket from the hospital for the dogs to sniff so I am sure they knew what was going on...

Does anyone have any suggestions? When DS is down I do try and spend some time with Dexter...mostly just sitting on the couch with him in my lap. And for those who don't know...Pugs are lap dogs.

Thanks

Edited by Electric_Blue, 21 February 2013 - 08:51 AM.


#2 Feral*Spikey*

Posted 21 February 2013 - 09:20 AM

I'd probably have posted this in the Pets Forum - or at least started a second thread. Most of us dog training people don't usually hang out in the 'your family' bit. I am looking after a sick child this morning, so just cruisin' EB. Otherwise I totally would have missed this!

Part of your issue seems to be that your dogs haven't really been treated as 'dogs', rather, they've been your substitute children or family. It also sounds like you haven't prepared them for your new arrival.

What I would encourage you to do is get a dog behaviouralist to visit you in your home, and help you to retrain both your dogs. One of the stand out things is that your dogs sit at the same level, or even on you, and that means (to a dog) that they are 'in charge', not you. Which also means (to a dog) its okay to correct human behaviour - by biting, nipping and growling. You need a behaviouralist, to get your 'in charge' back, and to make it a pleasant experience for all concerned.

First off, the best place to start is with your DH taking over the doggy-related chores, and encouraging more doggy play. He needs to build a rapport with your dog, and the best way to do that is via their tummies. wink.gif Get him to use treats, and to practice skills such as sit, down, stay etc - and reward with small bits of food for good behaviour.

There are some additional rules that need to be imposed on your household.

1. No picking up dogs. When you pick up a dog, your elevate its status, possibly above your own. A dog is not a toy or a handbag. 4-on-the-floor is the goal, except when helping an animal into the car. A dog has legs, it can walk. Even pugs. Especially pugs.

2. No dogs on furniture or laps. Ever. A dog's correct place is at your feet. Yeah, I know, little dogs seem so cute and they don't take up much space, and they're almost cat-like on your lap. But, in allowing a dog on the furniture and in your lap, you are sabotaging your 'in charge', and giving it to the dog. Again, lots of rewards for being on the floor. Get them a special blanket or cushion, and reward them for sitting nicely at your feet. Remember, you can chat to the dog while BFing, and this will encourage the dogs to see it as their job (ie, sitting at your feet while you BF).  No dog is a 'lap dog'. Ever. Not if you intend to have children or other animals in your lap, and relationships with other people. YOu should not be putting this dog in your lap, even when you are not BFing. You are causing the dog to think it has the right to your person, and at some point, you may be putting your baby at risk. So please stop doing this. Pat the dog while it is on the floor.

3.Dog gets fed last. Doggy dinner occurs after ALL of the humans have eaten. Not before, and they never ever should get scraps directly from the table. Or the coffee table. Yep, again, this tells the dog that their status is lower than everyone else.

4. Dogs go through doors AFTER people. A dog should sit and wait for a command to go out, if you're not going out as well, and should only go through a door after you have. I'm personally slack on this one - but my dogs know I'm in charge, so I don't really need to amend my routine. You probably do, because your dogs don't understand that they aren't really in charge.

5. Dogs get attention AFTER the people are finished their activities. Doggy attention-seeking behaviour is to be ignored.

I am sure that a visiting behaviouralist will give you additional things for your dog's personal quirks, but these are the top 4 that are always on the list.

There is a great brochure about Kids N Dogs, that's worth a read.

I would be putting the dogs away when you have very young visitors. Its pretty easy to injure small dogs, even accidentally, and even when you are supervising them, as you've discovered. What's more, a dog that bites is in danger of being on the receiving end of a PTS order from the Council, if the council receives more than one complaint. The thing which concerns me is that your dog chose not to move away from the child, but rather, it chose to bite it. If it had bitten a child because it was being hurt and couldn't avoid it (ie, cornered), I would be less concerned about the possibility of it happening again, but your dog is a risk without a lot of work on your behalf. There is every reason you should expect that it will bite your child, in the same circumstances unless you teach it how to be a proper dog.

Okay, enough from me - hopefully you have enough to get started. Good luck, and if you want further advice, PM me, or find me in Pets.

Edited by *Spikey*, 21 February 2013 - 09:23 AM.


#3 Purelle

Posted 21 February 2013 - 09:50 AM

Great advice spikey. I'm going to start using this at home as well. original.gif

#4 Electric_Blue

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:22 PM

Thanks Spikey,

I was actually going to mention I may have posted this in the wrong area...there's so many threads I often get confused! Thanks for your advice though....it's great. And you're right they were treated like children rather than animals...

#5 PurpleNess

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:32 PM

Pugs are dogs just like any other dogs & should be treated as such...there is no such thing as a lap dog & that's where your problems begin.
Spikey is the resident expert on here so do listen to her advice & it will assist  you no end.
You can still love your dogs but they need to understand they are dogs , not humans, with a different set of rules, they'll still love you but the adjustment will take time.

Good Luck, be firm & consistent with your messages & they'll do just fine :-)

#6 Cirrus

Posted 21 February 2013 - 01:55 PM

Hi There,
Good luck with the regime change in your household. My dog has been getting worse with dominance behaviour with other dogs - so a few weeks ago I decided to help him know his place.
Not allowed on couch, must wait for command before he eats, must not pull on lead - etc.

The hardest part is some of these are losses (eg I now have to get on the ground if I want a cuddle and I have to ignore his demands for attention occasionally) - but it is clear from improvement in his behaviour that this stable structure is best for him and other dogs and therefore me!

The growling you mention is very worrying. Your dog thinks that bed is a throne and he has a right to it!
That could be a safety issue with visiting children.
He need to be demoted from prince to family-dog!
Dogs love prectability and those with a clear place in the pack (family-dog) can relax more.

The other important responsibility you have to your pet is to give him the exercise he needs. This will also make for a calmer dog - and one you feel less guilty towards, reducing spoiling behaviour.

Good luck !





#7 Feral*Spikey*

Posted 21 February 2013 - 06:08 PM

Completely off topic,

But DD is totally enjoying singing along to Icehouse's Electric Blue. Now I can't get the song out of my head!

If you ever post in the wrong spot, you can ask the Mods to move it for you, they're pretty good like that. Don't forget to update us with your progress. original.gif




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Show us your DUPLO creations to win!

We love to see the cool creations kids build when they play with LEGO DUPLO. Enter and share a picture of your childs creation for a chance to WIN 1 of 10 LEGO DUPLO prize packs worth over $100 each.

Jammy, Hula Hoop, Rage: Reddit reveals most unusual baby names

A recent Reddit thread has revealed some of the more creative names in the world.

Woman awakens from coma, learns she gave birth

A US woman awakened this week from a four-month-long coma that doctors had feared would be permanent and learned that she had given birth to a baby boy, according to her family.

'Give us a break': mum sent shocking letter over Facebook baby pics

Posting a lot of baby photos doesn't make you a bad person. It may make your Facebook feed a little irritating, but it doesn't make you a bad person.

In defense of the dads who do so much

It's time to shift the focus off what dads aren’t doing and shine it on what they are.

The modern cloth nappies too cute to cover up

If you're only just joining the modern cloth nappy movement, or would like to spruce up your collection, we have to introduce you to Designer Bums.

How breastfeeding can affect your libido

When you’ve just had a baby, having sex isn’t usually top priority. In fact, for a lot of women it rates about as appealing as changing another dirty nappy.

Should pregnant women be allowed to use 'parent and child' car parking spots?

Is it acceptable to use these car parking spots when pregnant? How many of us would admit to doing it?

Healthy baby from sperm taken 48 hours after a man died

Fertility doctors have described their "most extraordinary case" - creating a healthy baby from sperm taken 48 hours after a man had died.

Anti-vaccination mum's seven children contract whooping cough

A Canadian woman who had declined to have her children immunised against pertussis, better known as whooping cough, has changed her position now that all seven of her children have come down with the disease.

How pregnancy probiotics can help you and your baby

New research suggests that taking specific pregnancy probiotics could be the answer to a range of common pregnancy side effects.

Childcare is a big problem, but there's more to it

Let’s keep talking about these issues and not allow them to be put into a neat little box that’s labelled ‘Fix childcare and everything is solved’.

Pink's awesome response to body-shaming trolls

When trolls felt the need to comment on 35-year-old singer-songwriter Pink's weight, her answer was an awesome ode to body love.

Fertility clinic offers egg donors $5000

A national chain of fertility clinics is offering egg donors a $5000 payment to cover their expenses, a first for Australia which is raising concerns the money could act as an inducement.

Baby boy abandoned in India amid fresh surrogacy concerns

Australian officials could do nothing to stop an Australian couple from abandoning their baby son, born through surrogacy in India, after they decided they did not want to bring him to Australia.

Herd immunity and community responsibility: how free-riders can make kids suffer

Individual choice works for haircuts and handbags, but not for preventing infectious diseases that kill kids.

Photographer captures 'unexpected beauty' of birth

If there is one thing Leilani Rogers knows about childbirth, it is that no two deliveries are ever the same.

Expectations vs the reality of making a toddler's clothes

Note to self: less sewing, more life. Not the party dress, but the party. The toddler, as usual, has it all figured out.

Mum meets 'dead' daughter 49 years after birth

In 1965, Zella Jackson-Price was told her premature baby girl had died shortly after birth.

Sign up to our 30 days of #PlayIQ challenge

Sign up to receive 30 amazing tips and ideas for play with baby during the month of April and submit a picture or tip on our social wall for a chance to win an amazing Fisher-Price prize pack.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Sign up to our 30 days of #PlayIQ challenge

Sign up to receive 30 amazing tips and ideas for play with baby during the month of April and submit a picture or tip on our social wall for a chance to win an amazing Fisher-Price prize pack.

Tips for flying with a baby

Travelling with kids requires a whole other set of skills - ones that I have learned through (sometimes unfortunate) trial and error.

How to stay calm in an emergency

I’m not expecting you to be as calm as you might be right now. What I mean is that if your panic levels are through the roof during a stressful situation, let’s bring them down to just under the ceiling.

Toddler gets 'drunk' after cranberry juice mix-up

A toddler was taken to hospital after a waitress served her sangria instead of cranberry juice at a US restaurant.

Show us your toddlers LEGO DUPLO creations

We love to see the cool creations kids build when they play with LEGO DUPLO. Enter and share a picture of your childs creation for a chance to WIN 1 of 10 LEGO DUPLO prize packs worth over $100 each.

We need to stop using this word when we talk about childbirth

Is it shaming to point out that women are often being let down in birth?

The certificate helping parents deal with pregnancy loss

For some people, this certificate will offer a sense of validation that their child was acknowledged as being here and now gone, and will help them with life post-loss.

The phenomenon of phantom pregnancy kicks

'Phantom pregnancy kicks’ are encountered by many mums months - or even years - after their pregnancy is over.

The health insurance advice you can't afford to ignore

There's one simple switch that could save you hundreds of dollars a year in private health insurance.

4D scans show how smoking affects babies still in the womb

The harmful effects of smoking during pregnancy on unborn babies may be seen in tiny movements in their faces using 4D ultrasound scans, research has found.

The most dangerous toddler food trends

Pete Evans' paleo cookbook for kids caused a storm, but there are plenty of other unsafe food trends for babies and toddlers.

Infection killed new mum of twins

Modern medicine could not save 19-year-old Sophie Burgess who died 48 hours after giving birth to twins in the UK.

How to babyproof your job interview

Once upon a time, I was a fan of job interviews. That all changed after I'd switched careers, had a baby and decided to spend the first year at home with her.

Grieving families give warnings after toddler deaths

Two Queensland families are grieving the loss of their toddler sons after the boys drowned in separate incidents last week.

Man faces jail after giving woman abortion pill smoothie

A Norwegian man is facing jail after putting abortion pills in his ex-girlfriend's smoothie, causing her to have a miscarriage.

'He's a blessing': family of baby born without eyes

Jordy Jackson was born without eyes. He has anophthalmia, which affects one in every 100,000 babies born.

Super fit model Sarah Stage defends her pregnancy body

Model Sarah Stage has defended her pregnancy body after critics claimed her slim figure at eight-and-a-half months pregnant wasn't "normal".

Why I post breastfeeding photos online

I love to take pictures of my children. In some of the pictures, my younger son is nursing.

The day I broke my baby

There are things I wish I didn't know. I wish I didn't know that companies make tiny braces, small enough to hold necks no bigger than a wrist.

Geeky baby gear

If your family is more into Star Wars, gaming and the periodic table than most, you might want to check out these geek-chic baby items.

Grandbabies: the babies born looking old

Not a day under 65 and a lifetime of struggle! That's the look of these newborns, who look adorably older than their real age. Social networking site Reddit recently featured user submissions of adorable grandbabies, here are our favourites.

53 creative pregnancy announcements

Announcing that you're expecting can be a time to express your creativity, sense of humour and imagination. Check out how other parents and parents-to-be have broken the news to friends and family.

IKEA hacks for the nursery and kids' rooms

Are you one of those that know the whole IKEA catalogue by heart? Love their stuff but want to personalise it? Here's some inspiration to help you realise the potential of IKEA furniture and fittings.

36 baby names inspired by food and drinks

A French court may have ruled out Nutella as a baby name, but that doesn't have to stop you from taking inspiration from the supermarket (or bottle shop). See what parents in the US have chosen for their delicious little ones.

Clever breastfeeding products

Check out this range of products designed to help make your breastfeeding journey more enjoyable, manageable and convenient.

 

SIGN UP NOW!

Win a year's worth of toys

Receive a daily email from Essential Baby for just the month of April with great play tips and ideas, then submit your baby at play photos to our Playwall, Instagram or Twitter for your chance to win.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.