Jump to content

Dealing with a jealous dog


  • Please log in to reply
6 replies to this topic

#1 Electric_Blue

Posted 21 February 2013 - 08:50 AM

Hi all,

Hoping someone may have some advice for a situation I'm in. My son is 4 weeks old today and of course he takes up a lot of my time. Especially since I am adjusting to my new life as a mum. Everything has been going mostly well...although the breastfeeding has been a bit of a nightmare...but I think it's improving.

I also have 2 dogs...a Pug x Boston Terrier named Dexter and a pure bred Pug named Rogue. Dexter is 4 years old and Rogue is 3 years old.

My DH and I bought a house in South East Melbourne nearly 4 years ago. My DH was working and living in Portland with his parents (which is a 4.5hr drive from Melbourne) So I lived in the house we bought on my own with Dexter. It was just he and I for 3 months.
My DH was made redundant due to the GFC and moved into our house. Suddenly Dexter no longer had me all to himself. Dexter wasn't too impressed but he got over it.

As my DH and I worked full time and were not home a lot we decided (okay, I nagged DH) to get another dog. So we bought home Rogue. I wouldn't say Dexter was really jealous then...but it was another change for him. He and Rogue play and look after each other. But DH clearly has a soft spot with Rogue (he loves Pugs and she's a pure bred where Dexter isn't) but I made sure Dexter was given attention from me. DH would come home from work and pick up Rogue and play with her. He would also play with Dexter but it's pretty obvious that Rogue is the favourite. But that was okay...Dexter was mine.

However, I've now got a baby and Dexter's not happy. He hasn't shown aggression towards the baby in any way shape or form. But he went to bite my friends 2 year old the other day (mind you she was unintentionally digging her foot into his back) I went to bed and took Dexter with me and when DH came to bed he went to pick up Dexter to take him into his own bed (dogs sleep in the laundry) and Dexter growled at him.
When I am breastfeeding Rogue will lie down next to me...and Dexter will lie in my lap. Of course this isn't ideal so I kick them both off me.

I'm not sure what to do to make Dexter feel a bit more at ease with this change. I understand that once upon a time it was just he and I and it's gone from DH, to another dog and now a baby. Those changes must be really big for him. My DH did bring home a baby blanket from the hospital for the dogs to sniff so I am sure they knew what was going on...

Does anyone have any suggestions? When DS is down I do try and spend some time with Dexter...mostly just sitting on the couch with him in my lap. And for those who don't know...Pugs are lap dogs.

Thanks

Edited by Electric_Blue, 21 February 2013 - 08:51 AM.


#2 Feral*Spikey*

Posted 21 February 2013 - 09:20 AM

I'd probably have posted this in the Pets Forum - or at least started a second thread. Most of us dog training people don't usually hang out in the 'your family' bit. I am looking after a sick child this morning, so just cruisin' EB. Otherwise I totally would have missed this!

Part of your issue seems to be that your dogs haven't really been treated as 'dogs', rather, they've been your substitute children or family. It also sounds like you haven't prepared them for your new arrival.

What I would encourage you to do is get a dog behaviouralist to visit you in your home, and help you to retrain both your dogs. One of the stand out things is that your dogs sit at the same level, or even on you, and that means (to a dog) that they are 'in charge', not you. Which also means (to a dog) its okay to correct human behaviour - by biting, nipping and growling. You need a behaviouralist, to get your 'in charge' back, and to make it a pleasant experience for all concerned.

First off, the best place to start is with your DH taking over the doggy-related chores, and encouraging more doggy play. He needs to build a rapport with your dog, and the best way to do that is via their tummies. wink.gif Get him to use treats, and to practice skills such as sit, down, stay etc - and reward with small bits of food for good behaviour.

There are some additional rules that need to be imposed on your household.

1. No picking up dogs. When you pick up a dog, your elevate its status, possibly above your own. A dog is not a toy or a handbag. 4-on-the-floor is the goal, except when helping an animal into the car. A dog has legs, it can walk. Even pugs. Especially pugs.

2. No dogs on furniture or laps. Ever. A dog's correct place is at your feet. Yeah, I know, little dogs seem so cute and they don't take up much space, and they're almost cat-like on your lap. But, in allowing a dog on the furniture and in your lap, you are sabotaging your 'in charge', and giving it to the dog. Again, lots of rewards for being on the floor. Get them a special blanket or cushion, and reward them for sitting nicely at your feet. Remember, you can chat to the dog while BFing, and this will encourage the dogs to see it as their job (ie, sitting at your feet while you BF).  No dog is a 'lap dog'. Ever. Not if you intend to have children or other animals in your lap, and relationships with other people. YOu should not be putting this dog in your lap, even when you are not BFing. You are causing the dog to think it has the right to your person, and at some point, you may be putting your baby at risk. So please stop doing this. Pat the dog while it is on the floor.

3.Dog gets fed last. Doggy dinner occurs after ALL of the humans have eaten. Not before, and they never ever should get scraps directly from the table. Or the coffee table. Yep, again, this tells the dog that their status is lower than everyone else.

4. Dogs go through doors AFTER people. A dog should sit and wait for a command to go out, if you're not going out as well, and should only go through a door after you have. I'm personally slack on this one - but my dogs know I'm in charge, so I don't really need to amend my routine. You probably do, because your dogs don't understand that they aren't really in charge.

5. Dogs get attention AFTER the people are finished their activities. Doggy attention-seeking behaviour is to be ignored.

I am sure that a visiting behaviouralist will give you additional things for your dog's personal quirks, but these are the top 4 that are always on the list.

There is a great brochure about Kids N Dogs, that's worth a read.

I would be putting the dogs away when you have very young visitors. Its pretty easy to injure small dogs, even accidentally, and even when you are supervising them, as you've discovered. What's more, a dog that bites is in danger of being on the receiving end of a PTS order from the Council, if the council receives more than one complaint. The thing which concerns me is that your dog chose not to move away from the child, but rather, it chose to bite it. If it had bitten a child because it was being hurt and couldn't avoid it (ie, cornered), I would be less concerned about the possibility of it happening again, but your dog is a risk without a lot of work on your behalf. There is every reason you should expect that it will bite your child, in the same circumstances unless you teach it how to be a proper dog.

Okay, enough from me - hopefully you have enough to get started. Good luck, and if you want further advice, PM me, or find me in Pets.

Edited by *Spikey*, 21 February 2013 - 09:23 AM.


#3 Purelle

Posted 21 February 2013 - 09:50 AM

Great advice spikey. I'm going to start using this at home as well. original.gif

#4 Electric_Blue

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:22 PM

Thanks Spikey,

I was actually going to mention I may have posted this in the wrong area...there's so many threads I often get confused! Thanks for your advice though....it's great. And you're right they were treated like children rather than animals...

#5 PurpleNess

Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:32 PM

Pugs are dogs just like any other dogs & should be treated as such...there is no such thing as a lap dog & that's where your problems begin.
Spikey is the resident expert on here so do listen to her advice & it will assist  you no end.
You can still love your dogs but they need to understand they are dogs , not humans, with a different set of rules, they'll still love you but the adjustment will take time.

Good Luck, be firm & consistent with your messages & they'll do just fine :-)

#6 Cirrus

Posted 21 February 2013 - 01:55 PM

Hi There,
Good luck with the regime change in your household. My dog has been getting worse with dominance behaviour with other dogs - so a few weeks ago I decided to help him know his place.
Not allowed on couch, must wait for command before he eats, must not pull on lead - etc.

The hardest part is some of these are losses (eg I now have to get on the ground if I want a cuddle and I have to ignore his demands for attention occasionally) - but it is clear from improvement in his behaviour that this stable structure is best for him and other dogs and therefore me!

The growling you mention is very worrying. Your dog thinks that bed is a throne and he has a right to it!
That could be a safety issue with visiting children.
He need to be demoted from prince to family-dog!
Dogs love prectability and those with a clear place in the pack (family-dog) can relax more.

The other important responsibility you have to your pet is to give him the exercise he needs. This will also make for a calmer dog - and one you feel less guilty towards, reducing spoiling behaviour.

Good luck !





#7 Feral*Spikey*

Posted 21 February 2013 - 06:08 PM

Completely off topic,

But DD is totally enjoying singing along to Icehouse's Electric Blue. Now I can't get the song out of my head!

If you ever post in the wrong spot, you can ask the Mods to move it for you, they're pretty good like that. Don't forget to update us with your progress. original.gif




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

WIN a $500 Visa debit card

Are you a parent? Simply take our survey for your chance to win a $500 pre-paid VISA debit card.

Breastfeeding doesn't make you a better mum - feeding your baby does

Given my immense dislike of Hopkins and her opinions, I was genuinely shocked to discover that last week she actually said something that I agreed with.

'Toni, another baby has died': the anguish of watching governments fail our babies

It has been six years since whooping cough claimed the life of four-week-old Dana McCaffery. Her parents are angry that lessons learnt weren't enough to save other babies.

Longer breastfeeding linked to higher IQ

A study of 3500 infants has found that babies who are breastfed grow up to be more intelligent and wealthy.

The 2015 flu vaccine: what's new, who should get it

For certain members of the community, catching flu can lead to severe illness or death. A vaccination can be lifesaving.

Dealing with a nappy escape artist

I hear about the tots that have a penchant for ripping their nappies off and the odd one that even smears the brown stuff on the walls and fine home furnishings, and I shudder.

Hospital apologises for 'traumatising' baby mix-up

St Vincent's Hospital has apologised "unreservedly" for a baby mix-up that left one new mum traumatised.

Tips for flying with a baby

Travelling with kids requires a whole other set of skills - ones that I have learned through (sometimes unfortunate) trial and error.

How to stay calm in an emergency

I’m not expecting you to be as calm as you might be right now. What I mean is that if your panic levels are through the roof during a stressful situation, let’s bring them down to just under the ceiling.

Toddler gets 'drunk' after cranberry juice mix-up

A toddler was taken to hospital after a waitress served her sangria instead of cranberry juice at a US restaurant.

We need to stop using this word when we talk about childbirth

Is it shaming to point out that women are often being let down in birth?

The certificate helping parents deal with pregnancy loss

For some people, this certificate will offer a sense of validation that their child was acknowledged as being here and now gone, and will help them with life post-loss.

Grieving families give warnings after toddler deaths

Two Queensland families are grieving the loss of their toddler sons after the boys drowned in separate incidents last week.

The phenomenon of phantom pregnancy kicks

'Phantom pregnancy kicks’ are encountered by many mums months - or even years - after their pregnancy is over.

The health insurance advice you can't afford to ignore

There's one simple switch that could save you hundreds of dollars a year in private health insurance.

4D scans show how smoking affects babies still in the womb

The harmful effects of smoking during pregnancy on unborn babies may be seen in tiny movements in their faces using 4D ultrasound scans, research has found.

How to babyproof your job interview

Once upon a time, I was a fan of job interviews. That all changed after I'd switched careers, had a baby and decided to spend the first year at home with her.

Sign up to our 30 days of #PlayIQ challenge

Sign up to receive 30 amazing tips and ideas for play with baby during the month of April and submit a picture or tip on our social wall for a chance to win an amazing Fisher-Price prize pack.

The most dangerous toddler food trends

Pete Evans' paleo cookbook for kids caused a storm, but there are plenty of other unsafe food trends for babies and toddlers.

Infection killed new mum of twins

Modern medicine could not save 19-year-old Sophie Burgess who died 48 hours after giving birth to twins in the UK.

Win a Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom prize pack

To celebrate the April 1 release of Holly's Magic Wand on DVD and Digital, we are giving away five DVD packs featuring the newest installment of Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom Holly's Magic Wand and many more hours of family entertainment! Enter Now!

Special Ticket Offer, Save $8!

The Essential Baby & Toddler Show is back this April! Save $8 off the door price for a limited time only!

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Sign up to our 30 days of #PlayIQ challenge

Sign up to receive 30 amazing tips and ideas for play with baby during the month of April and submit a picture or tip on our social wall for a chance to win an amazing Fisher-Price prize pack.

Man faces jail after giving woman abortion pill smoothie

A Norwegian man is facing jail after putting abortion pills in his ex-girlfriend's smoothie, causing her to have a miscarriage.

'He's a blessing': family of baby born without eyes

Jordy Jackson was born without eyes. He has anophthalmia, which affects one in every 100,000 babies born.

Win one of 5 Cadbury Easter Hampers

With Easter fast approaching, Cadbury are giving away 5 Cadbury Easter Hampers. Enter Now!

Super fit model Sarah Stage defends her pregnancy body

Model Sarah Stage has defended her pregnancy body after critics claimed her slim figure at eight-and-a-half months pregnant wasn't "normal".

Win a Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom and Peppa Pig prize pack

To celebrate the April 1 release of Holly's Magic Wand on DVD and Digital, Essential Baby and Entertainment One are giving away five bumper DVD packs featuring the newest installment of Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom Holly's Magic Wand and many more hours of family entertainment! Enter Now!

Why I post breastfeeding photos online

I love to take pictures of my children. In some of the pictures, my younger son is nursing.

The day I broke my baby

There are things I wish I didn't know. I wish I didn't know that companies make tiny braces, small enough to hold necks no bigger than a wrist.

The place just for dads of multiples

When a couple discovers they're expecting multiples, the dad can sometimes be almost forgotten in all the excitement and preparation. But one group offers a space just for dads of twins and higher-order multiples.

Brave mum calls for domestic violence law reform

A brave mum of two has shared details of the harrowing attacks she suffered at the hands of her partner in a bid to help other victims of domestic violence.

Why I had the new test for Down syndrome

Early last year I turned 35, and having just found out I was pregnant, I opted to have the new test for Down syndrome.

Geeky baby gear

If your family is more into Star Wars, gaming and the periodic table than most, you might want to check out these geek-chic baby items.

2015: the year of the sheep

According to the Chinese zodiac, babies born in the year of the sheep are creative and enjoy spending quiet time with their own thoughts.

Breakthrough genetic testing now available in Australia

Pregnant women will for the first time have access to locally analysed, accurate, non-invasive pre-natal genetic testing when the first Australian clinic to offer the services opens its doors next week.

Grandbabies: the babies born looking old

Not a day under 65 and a lifetime of struggle! That's the look of these newborns, who look adorably older than their real age. Social networking site Reddit recently featured user submissions of adorable grandbabies, here are our favourites.

Family kicked off flight after toddler seatbelt drama

An entire family was kicked off a Cathay Pacific flight when a misbehaving toddler refused to put his seatbelt on.

Stolen baby found after 17 years

A baby stolen from her mother's arms shortly after birth has been found through an astonishing coincidence.

53 creative pregnancy announcements

Announcing that you're expecting can be a time to express your creativity, sense of humour and imagination. Check out how other parents and parents-to-be have broken the news to friends and family.

IKEA hacks for the nursery and kids' rooms

Are you one of those that know the whole IKEA catalogue by heart? Love their stuff but want to personalise it? Here's some inspiration to help you realise the potential of IKEA furniture and fittings.

36 baby names inspired by food and drinks

A French court may have ruled out Nutella as a baby name, but that doesn't have to stop you from taking inspiration from the supermarket (or bottle shop). See what parents in the US have chosen for their delicious little ones.

Clever breastfeeding products

Check out this range of products designed to help make your breastfeeding journey more enjoyable, manageable and convenient.

 

Sign up now!

30 days of #PlayIQ challenge

Receive a daily email from Essential Baby during April with great play tips and ideas, then submit your baby at play photos to our Playwall, Instagram or Twitter for your chance to win.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.