Jump to content

how to stop people from asking


  • Please log in to reply
65 replies to this topic

#1 anna_garny

Posted 20 February 2013 - 07:19 PM

Seriously.

Every. Single. Person in our immediate and extended families, as well as co-workers and random acquaintances have been asking, immediately after the 'do you know what you're having' (answer - a baby, according to the scans, but I was really hoping for a velociraptor) they've been asking 'what names have you got picked out?'

Then they get annoyed/p*ssy/offended that neither Ace or myself will tell them!

How do we stop people from trying to guilt us into telling them what names we have picked out?

Or, what techniques did/do you use to deflect this kind of crap?

#2 Lyra

Posted 20 February 2013 - 07:21 PM

Come up with a really ridiculous name and when they go 'really? are you serious?' say 'no, I just wanted to see the look on your face'

Honestly, you can't stop anyone from asking but you can have fun with them when they do wink.gif

#3 kerilyntaryn

Posted 20 February 2013 - 07:21 PM

I just answer a healthy baby and we will find out the gender at birth and say we are still working on the names

#4 CCLady

Posted 20 February 2013 - 07:21 PM

"We really have no idea so far!"

Don't get sh*tty, just lie original.gif

#5 causeway

Posted 20 February 2013 - 07:24 PM

Q.What are you having?
A. Well it isn't a puppy!

This worked for us!

#6 CCLady

Posted 20 February 2013 - 07:26 PM

QUOTE
Come up with a really ridiculous name and when they go 'really? are you serious?' say 'no, I just wanted to see the look on your face'


Yes! Ours we're 'Ferdinand Rex or Apple Shirley'. My own mother was convinced in the end!

#7 Bluemakede

Posted 20 February 2013 - 07:28 PM

If you figure it out let me know. I have told the same people time and time again that we have a list but nothing is decided, and they'll know when we know (ie after the baby has been born). But every time I see them I get asked again what our name choice is, or what names we have on the list.

Edited by Bluemakede, 20 February 2013 - 07:28 PM.


#8 R2B2

Posted 20 February 2013 - 07:29 PM

Just tell them you didn't find out the gender, and you haven't worked out names original.gif


#9 Ingrid the Swan

Posted 20 February 2013 - 07:30 PM

I agree with PPs - either give them a decoy name and stick with it (leave them guessing if you really will call the baby Murgatroyd, or pick names that hugely clash with your surname then change the subject or leave the conversation before they figure it out), or say you haven't decided and won't til the birth.

Decoy names are fun though - and once you tell the biggest family gossip then nobody else in the family will dare to ask for fear of having to fake their own reaction to something horrid.

#10 LittleC

Posted 20 February 2013 - 07:33 PM

When I get asked the "do you know what you're having' question and I don't tell them, they get annoyed like as if it's actually any of their business to begin with.

A woman at work asked a few weeks ago and this was the convo.

her : "so did you find out what you're having?"
Me: "yep"
Her:"well, what is it?"
Me: "a baby. we only found out for ourselves, keeping it a surprise for everyone else"
Her "oh.. well they (the ultrasonographer) can always be wrong anyway"

Funny how when you're pregnant you become public domain.

haven't had anyone ask about names yet..

Edited by LittleC, 20 February 2013 - 07:34 PM.


#11 Bunsen the feral

Posted 20 February 2013 - 07:38 PM

"Actually, we were thinking of naming the baby after you..."

Works particularly well with people you hardly know, they can't get out of there fast enough.



#12 Feral-as-Meggs

Posted 20 February 2013 - 07:40 PM

I said "oh i don't know, what do you think would be nice?"   No one suggested DS name, but it was interesting to hear people's ideas.

#13 Gudrun

Posted 20 February 2013 - 07:42 PM

Just shrug your shoulders and say, 'Dunno'.  As often as you have to.


If they go on then, 'Nup'.

#14 Juki

Posted 20 February 2013 - 07:42 PM

Tell them that you aren't finding out the sex and for names something awful like Shaniqua or Shanaynay if it it a girl and Smokey River or Purple Genie if it is a boy.

#15 Funky Cold Ribena

Posted 20 February 2013 - 07:44 PM

I told people we were finding out gender at the birth, which was true anyway.
As for names, I said we didn't have a clue so throw some ideas at me, even though we did have an idea of what we liked.

#16 Phoenix Blue

Posted 20 February 2013 - 07:45 PM

Honestly, those questions are standard baby chat chat questions. The people who are asking probably don't care. I don't. I just ask because it's polite and expected.

If this gets you worked up, you're going to be in for a whole lot of fun when the baby comes... "Is she a good baby? How's your milk? Is she sleeping through?" Joy.



#17 kerilyntaryn

Posted 20 February 2013 - 07:46 PM

or say after the baby is born we'll know the gender and we'll see what name fits the baby

#18 LittleFinch

Posted 20 February 2013 - 07:46 PM

I told people: We're not sharing names as we don't want other people's opinions - it's hard enough for the two of us to agree on a name let alone if everyone else put in their 2 cents worth.

I like the idea of a decoy name though

#19 1&Twins

Posted 20 February 2013 - 07:47 PM

We didn't find out gender nor tell anyone our name choices and when asked simply said it's a surprise and that is that!

#20 Yogurtbliss

Posted 20 February 2013 - 07:54 PM

I am a teacher, so on a daily basis had over 150 teenagers suggesting names! I used decoys that were plausible, Max for a boy, Mary for a girl. They go well with our surname and are names we like, but wouldn't use, so they were appeased. When bub arrived we gave him the real name we had chosen all along.

#21 The Old Feral

Posted 20 February 2013 - 08:00 PM

QUOTE (Jbonnett @ 20/02/2013, 08:54 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I am a teacher, so on a daily basis had over 150 teenagers suggesting names! I used decoys that were plausible, Max for a boy, Mary for a girl. They go well with our surname and are names we like, but wouldn't use, so they were appeased. When bub arrived we gave him the real name we had chosen all along.


LOL your decoy names were our actual choices for DS1!

#22 namie

Posted 20 February 2013 - 08:15 PM

QUOTE (Phoenix Blue @ 20/02/2013, 08:45 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Honestly, those questions are standard baby chat chat questions. The people who are asking probably don't care. I don't. I just ask because it's polite and expected.

But that's just it, I don't think it is polite, or expected. I don't think it's a necessary part of baby chat.

When asked I just said we had no ideas yet and that the baby would most likely be called Baby Surname, or maybe Babette Surname if a girl, if we couldn't agree on anything else.

#23 Imaginary friend

Posted 20 February 2013 - 08:18 PM

QUOTE (Phoenix Blue @ 20/02/2013, 07:45 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Honestly, those questions are standard baby chat chat questions. The people who are asking probably don't care. I don't. I just ask because it's polite and expected.


I agree.

I dont think pregnant women become public domain - its just a standard small talk question - bit like How is your new job, How are you enjoying retirement, How was your holiday, did you have a nice Christmas, anything else obvious and relevant.


Either say: We havent decided/ We're Keeping it a surprise/make up a plausible or implausibe decoy/ share the actual name. shrug.gif

#24 Loz07

Posted 20 February 2013 - 08:35 PM

I once had someone say to me, dead pan, when I asked:
"Well we're a big beleveer that if you're going to call a baby by a nickname, then you should just call them that to start with. So if it's a boy were thinking Dazza, and if it's a girl we're thinking Shazza".

I'm sure the look on my face was priceless as I tried not to show my horror/laugh. Then she laughed biggrin.gif

We went with 'we have a shortlist/ there's a few we're debating' etc, or we also did a PPs suggestion 'we really like <insert their name> actually'. Not too many people will bag their own name biggrin.gif

PS - no offence to any Shazza's or Dazza's wink.gif

#25 Avogadro

Posted 20 February 2013 - 08:41 PM

When I was asked "what are you having" I liked to respond with "Well we're hoping for a baby, but a puppy would be nice - we've already got one at home so another would fit right in."

Names?  "Well like Jack for a boy, and Alice for a girl" (not at all the names we had chosen wink.gif )




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

How to talk about your pregnancy at work

The workplace isn't always a friendly place for pregnant women. Yet working women inclined to conceal a pregnancy from prying coworkers may be better off opening up and carrying on, according to a new study.

Tell us your story to win!

To celebrate Mother's Day this year we are giving you the chance to win one of five great prizes simply by telling us your story.

Where to get help to help your baby sleep

There is so much pressure about having a baby who sleeps 'all night' , it's no wonder you worry about your baby if she wakes in the night.

Vintage baby names having a comeback

What makes some names have comebacks while others silently fade into oblivion? A few factors come into play.

When your partner doesn't want you to breastfeed

Dads can have many reasons for not wanting their partners to breastfeed their baby, but both parents should learn more about it before making a final decision.

Model mum Sarah Stage shares post-baby selfie

Most new mums would recoil at the thought, but Sarah Stage has shared a post-pregnancy selfie just four days after giving birth.

I'll admit it: I have last child parenting fatigue

If you're a new mum and feeling ignored by the older mum/the old hand/the has-been, please know, it's not you, it's me. Blame the last child parenting fatigue.

Exhaustion is not the same as tiredness

Having a new baby isn't tiring - it can be downright exhausting.

Five posterior babies, four home births

I was on a high. I'd done it all by myself with no help from anyone.

Mum's list of birthday gift demands goes viral

We're big fans of kids' birthday parties - but this is one bash we're glad we didn't get an invite to.

Kate Middleton to receive 'loyalty discount' for second birth

Everybody loves a bargain - including the Duchess of Cambridge.

Fish & chip shop owner's sad note goes viral

A lengthy note put on the window of a fish & chip shop has gone viral due to the writer's serious doubts about the romance of travel.

Pregnant women need good nutrition advice, not judgment

Pregnant women are under pressure to do all the "right things" to have a healthy child. It results in women feeling judged about their decisions.

When your child wants you to have another baby

Giving your child a sibling when you don't want to have another baby can be a complex issue.

William Tyrrell's mum speaks out: 'We hope he is still alive'

The mother of missing toddler William Tyrrell says she has a vision that somebody "picked him up and moved him on ... that's the only way ... to explain for him not to be there".

Family comes first for 23-year-old Tommy Connolly

Most 23-year-old blokes spend their hard earned cash on fun times with mates or romantic dinners with their girlfriend, but not Tommy Connolly.

Newborn all-girl quintuplets 'doing great'

The first all-female quintuplets born in the United States were delivered last week, at 28 weeks and two days.

Model mum's big baby silences critics

He may be less than a week old, but baby James Hunter has already helped his model mum silence her critics.

Jammy, Hula Hoop, Rage: Reddit reveals most unusual baby names

A recent Reddit thread has revealed some of the more creative names in the world.

Woman awakens from coma, learns she gave birth

A US woman awakened this week from a four-month-long coma that doctors had feared would be permanent and learned that she had given birth to a baby boy, according to her family.

'Give us a break': mum sent shocking letter over Facebook baby pics

Posting a lot of baby photos doesn't make you a bad person. It may make your Facebook feed a little irritating, but it doesn't make you a bad person.

In defense of the dads who do so much

It's time to shift the focus off what dads aren’t doing and shine it on what they are.

The modern cloth nappies too cute to cover up

If you're only just joining the modern cloth nappy movement, or would like to spruce up your collection, we have to introduce you to Designer Bums.

How breastfeeding can affect your libido

When you’ve just had a baby, having sex isn’t usually top priority. In fact, for a lot of women it rates about as appealing as changing another dirty nappy.

Should pregnant women be allowed to use 'parent and child' car parking spots?

Is it acceptable to use these car parking spots when pregnant? How many of us would admit to doing it?

Healthy baby from sperm taken 48 hours after a man died

Fertility doctors have described their "most extraordinary case" - creating a healthy baby from sperm taken 48 hours after a man had died.

Sign up to our 30 days of #PlayIQ challenge

Sign up to receive 30 amazing tips and ideas for play with baby during the month of April and submit a picture or tip on our social wall for a chance to win an amazing Fisher-Price prize pack.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Last chance to win a year's supply of toys

You have less than a week left to win your child one of five Fisher-Price toy packs valued at over $600 each - hurry, enter today!

Childcare is a big problem, but there's more to it

Let’s keep talking about these issues and not allow them to be put into a neat little box that’s labelled ‘Fix childcare and everything is solved’.

Pink's awesome response to body-shaming trolls

When trolls felt the need to comment on 35-year-old singer-songwriter Pink's weight, her answer was an awesome ode to body love.

Fertility clinic offers egg donors $5000

A national chain of fertility clinics is offering egg donors a $5000 payment to cover their expenses, a first for Australia which is raising concerns the money could act as an inducement.

Baby boy abandoned in India amid fresh surrogacy concerns

Australian officials could do nothing to stop an Australian couple from abandoning their baby son, born through surrogacy in India, after they decided they did not want to bring him to Australia.

Herd immunity and community responsibility: how free-riders can make kids suffer

Individual choice works for haircuts and handbags, but not for preventing infectious diseases that kill kids.

Photographer captures 'unexpected beauty' of birth

If there is one thing Leilani Rogers knows about childbirth, it is that no two deliveries are ever the same.

Expectations vs the reality of making a toddler's clothes

Note to self: less sewing, more life. Not the party dress, but the party. The toddler, as usual, has it all figured out.

Mum meets 'dead' daughter 49 years after birth

In 1965, Zella Jackson-Price was told her premature baby girl had died shortly after birth.

How pregnancy probiotics can help you and your baby

New research suggests that taking specific pregnancy probiotics could be the answer to a range of common pregnancy side effects.

53 creative pregnancy announcements

Announcing that you're expecting can be a time to express your creativity, sense of humour and imagination. Check out how other parents and parents-to-be have broken the news to friends and family.

IKEA hacks for the nursery and kids' rooms

Are you one of those that know the whole IKEA catalogue by heart? Love their stuff but want to personalise it? Here's some inspiration to help you realise the potential of IKEA furniture and fittings.

36 baby names inspired by food and drinks

A French court may have ruled out Nutella as a baby name, but that doesn't have to stop you from taking inspiration from the supermarket (or bottle shop). See what parents in the US have chosen for their delicious little ones.

 

ENTER NOW!

Win a year's worth of toys

Last week to submit a picture of your baby at play for your chance to win. Visit the Play Wall to view our recent entries.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.