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how to stop people from asking


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#1 anna_garny

Posted 20 February 2013 - 07:19 PM

Seriously.

Every. Single. Person in our immediate and extended families, as well as co-workers and random acquaintances have been asking, immediately after the 'do you know what you're having' (answer - a baby, according to the scans, but I was really hoping for a velociraptor) they've been asking 'what names have you got picked out?'

Then they get annoyed/p*ssy/offended that neither Ace or myself will tell them!

How do we stop people from trying to guilt us into telling them what names we have picked out?

Or, what techniques did/do you use to deflect this kind of crap?

#2 Lyra

Posted 20 February 2013 - 07:21 PM

Come up with a really ridiculous name and when they go 'really? are you serious?' say 'no, I just wanted to see the look on your face'

Honestly, you can't stop anyone from asking but you can have fun with them when they do wink.gif

#3 kerilyntaryn

Posted 20 February 2013 - 07:21 PM

I just answer a healthy baby and we will find out the gender at birth and say we are still working on the names

#4 CCLady

Posted 20 February 2013 - 07:21 PM

"We really have no idea so far!"

Don't get sh*tty, just lie original.gif

#5 causeway

Posted 20 February 2013 - 07:24 PM

Q.What are you having?
A. Well it isn't a puppy!

This worked for us!

#6 CCLady

Posted 20 February 2013 - 07:26 PM

QUOTE
Come up with a really ridiculous name and when they go 'really? are you serious?' say 'no, I just wanted to see the look on your face'


Yes! Ours we're 'Ferdinand Rex or Apple Shirley'. My own mother was convinced in the end!

#7 Bluemakede

Posted 20 February 2013 - 07:28 PM

If you figure it out let me know. I have told the same people time and time again that we have a list but nothing is decided, and they'll know when we know (ie after the baby has been born). But every time I see them I get asked again what our name choice is, or what names we have on the list.

Edited by Bluemakede, 20 February 2013 - 07:28 PM.


#8 R2B2

Posted 20 February 2013 - 07:29 PM

Just tell them you didn't find out the gender, and you haven't worked out names original.gif


#9 Ingrid the Swan

Posted 20 February 2013 - 07:30 PM

I agree with PPs - either give them a decoy name and stick with it (leave them guessing if you really will call the baby Murgatroyd, or pick names that hugely clash with your surname then change the subject or leave the conversation before they figure it out), or say you haven't decided and won't til the birth.

Decoy names are fun though - and once you tell the biggest family gossip then nobody else in the family will dare to ask for fear of having to fake their own reaction to something horrid.

#10 LittleC

Posted 20 February 2013 - 07:33 PM

When I get asked the "do you know what you're having' question and I don't tell them, they get annoyed like as if it's actually any of their business to begin with.

A woman at work asked a few weeks ago and this was the convo.

her : "so did you find out what you're having?"
Me: "yep"
Her:"well, what is it?"
Me: "a baby. we only found out for ourselves, keeping it a surprise for everyone else"
Her "oh.. well they (the ultrasonographer) can always be wrong anyway"

Funny how when you're pregnant you become public domain.

haven't had anyone ask about names yet..

Edited by LittleC, 20 February 2013 - 07:34 PM.


#11 Bunsen

Posted 20 February 2013 - 07:38 PM

"Actually, we were thinking of naming the baby after you..."

Works particularly well with people you hardly know, they can't get out of there fast enough.



#12 meggs1

Posted 20 February 2013 - 07:40 PM

I said "oh i don't know, what do you think would be nice?"   No one suggested DS name, but it was interesting to hear people's ideas.

#13 Gudrun

Posted 20 February 2013 - 07:42 PM

Just shrug your shoulders and say, 'Dunno'.  As often as you have to.


If they go on then, 'Nup'.

#14 Juki

Posted 20 February 2013 - 07:42 PM

Tell them that you aren't finding out the sex and for names something awful like Shaniqua or Shanaynay if it it a girl and Smokey River or Purple Genie if it is a boy.

#15 hayzee fantayzee

Posted 20 February 2013 - 07:44 PM

I told people we were finding out gender at the birth, which was true anyway.
As for names, I said we didn't have a clue so throw some ideas at me, even though we did have an idea of what we liked.

#16 Phoenix Blue

Posted 20 February 2013 - 07:45 PM

Honestly, those questions are standard baby chat chat questions. The people who are asking probably don't care. I don't. I just ask because it's polite and expected.

If this gets you worked up, you're going to be in for a whole lot of fun when the baby comes... "Is she a good baby? How's your milk? Is she sleeping through?" Joy.



#17 kerilyntaryn

Posted 20 February 2013 - 07:46 PM

or say after the baby is born we'll know the gender and we'll see what name fits the baby

#18 LittleFinch

Posted 20 February 2013 - 07:46 PM

I told people: We're not sharing names as we don't want other people's opinions - it's hard enough for the two of us to agree on a name let alone if everyone else put in their 2 cents worth.

I like the idea of a decoy name though

#19 Etienne

Posted 20 February 2013 - 07:47 PM

We didn't find out gender nor tell anyone our name choices and when asked simply said it's a surprise and that is that!

#20 Yogurtbliss

Posted 20 February 2013 - 07:54 PM

I am a teacher, so on a daily basis had over 150 teenagers suggesting names! I used decoys that were plausible, Max for a boy, Mary for a girl. They go well with our surname and are names we like, but wouldn't use, so they were appeased. When bub arrived we gave him the real name we had chosen all along.

#21 The Old Bag

Posted 20 February 2013 - 08:00 PM

QUOTE (Jbonnett @ 20/02/2013, 08:54 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I am a teacher, so on a daily basis had over 150 teenagers suggesting names! I used decoys that were plausible, Max for a boy, Mary for a girl. They go well with our surname and are names we like, but wouldn't use, so they were appeased. When bub arrived we gave him the real name we had chosen all along.


LOL your decoy names were our actual choices for DS1!

#22 namie

Posted 20 February 2013 - 08:15 PM

QUOTE (Phoenix Blue @ 20/02/2013, 08:45 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Honestly, those questions are standard baby chat chat questions. The people who are asking probably don't care. I don't. I just ask because it's polite and expected.

But that's just it, I don't think it is polite, or expected. I don't think it's a necessary part of baby chat.

When asked I just said we had no ideas yet and that the baby would most likely be called Baby Surname, or maybe Babette Surname if a girl, if we couldn't agree on anything else.

#23 4kidlets

Posted 20 February 2013 - 08:18 PM

QUOTE (Phoenix Blue @ 20/02/2013, 07:45 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Honestly, those questions are standard baby chat chat questions. The people who are asking probably don't care. I don't. I just ask because it's polite and expected.


I agree.

I dont think pregnant women become public domain - its just a standard small talk question - bit like How is your new job, How are you enjoying retirement, How was your holiday, did you have a nice Christmas, anything else obvious and relevant.


Either say: We havent decided/ We're Keeping it a surprise/make up a plausible or implausibe decoy/ share the actual name. shrug.gif

#24 Loz07

Posted 20 February 2013 - 08:35 PM

I once had someone say to me, dead pan, when I asked:
"Well we're a big beleveer that if you're going to call a baby by a nickname, then you should just call them that to start with. So if it's a boy were thinking Dazza, and if it's a girl we're thinking Shazza".

I'm sure the look on my face was priceless as I tried not to show my horror/laugh. Then she laughed biggrin.gif

We went with 'we have a shortlist/ there's a few we're debating' etc, or we also did a PPs suggestion 'we really like <insert their name> actually'. Not too many people will bag their own name biggrin.gif

PS - no offence to any Shazza's or Dazza's wink.gif

#25 Avogadro

Posted 20 February 2013 - 08:41 PM

When I was asked "what are you having" I liked to respond with "Well we're hoping for a baby, but a puppy would be nice - we've already got one at home so another would fit right in."

Names?  "Well like Jack for a boy, and Alice for a girl" (not at all the names we had chosen wink.gif )




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