Jump to content

how to stop people from asking


  • Please log in to reply
65 replies to this topic

#1 anna_garny

Posted 20 February 2013 - 07:19 PM

Seriously.

Every. Single. Person in our immediate and extended families, as well as co-workers and random acquaintances have been asking, immediately after the 'do you know what you're having' (answer - a baby, according to the scans, but I was really hoping for a velociraptor) they've been asking 'what names have you got picked out?'

Then they get annoyed/p*ssy/offended that neither Ace or myself will tell them!

How do we stop people from trying to guilt us into telling them what names we have picked out?

Or, what techniques did/do you use to deflect this kind of crap?

#2 Lyra

Posted 20 February 2013 - 07:21 PM

Come up with a really ridiculous name and when they go 'really? are you serious?' say 'no, I just wanted to see the look on your face'

Honestly, you can't stop anyone from asking but you can have fun with them when they do wink.gif

#3 kerilyntaryn

Posted 20 February 2013 - 07:21 PM

I just answer a healthy baby and we will find out the gender at birth and say we are still working on the names

#4 CCLady

Posted 20 February 2013 - 07:21 PM

"We really have no idea so far!"

Don't get sh*tty, just lie original.gif

#5 causeway

Posted 20 February 2013 - 07:24 PM

Q.What are you having?
A. Well it isn't a puppy!

This worked for us!

#6 CCLady

Posted 20 February 2013 - 07:26 PM

QUOTE
Come up with a really ridiculous name and when they go 'really? are you serious?' say 'no, I just wanted to see the look on your face'


Yes! Ours we're 'Ferdinand Rex or Apple Shirley'. My own mother was convinced in the end!

#7 Bluemakede

Posted 20 February 2013 - 07:28 PM

If you figure it out let me know. I have told the same people time and time again that we have a list but nothing is decided, and they'll know when we know (ie after the baby has been born). But every time I see them I get asked again what our name choice is, or what names we have on the list.

Edited by Bluemakede, 20 February 2013 - 07:28 PM.


#8 R2B2

Posted 20 February 2013 - 07:29 PM

Just tell them you didn't find out the gender, and you haven't worked out names original.gif


#9 Ingrid the Swan

Posted 20 February 2013 - 07:30 PM

I agree with PPs - either give them a decoy name and stick with it (leave them guessing if you really will call the baby Murgatroyd, or pick names that hugely clash with your surname then change the subject or leave the conversation before they figure it out), or say you haven't decided and won't til the birth.

Decoy names are fun though - and once you tell the biggest family gossip then nobody else in the family will dare to ask for fear of having to fake their own reaction to something horrid.

#10 LittleC

Posted 20 February 2013 - 07:33 PM

When I get asked the "do you know what you're having' question and I don't tell them, they get annoyed like as if it's actually any of their business to begin with.

A woman at work asked a few weeks ago and this was the convo.

her : "so did you find out what you're having?"
Me: "yep"
Her:"well, what is it?"
Me: "a baby. we only found out for ourselves, keeping it a surprise for everyone else"
Her "oh.. well they (the ultrasonographer) can always be wrong anyway"

Funny how when you're pregnant you become public domain.

haven't had anyone ask about names yet..

Edited by LittleC, 20 February 2013 - 07:34 PM.


#11 Bunsen the feral

Posted 20 February 2013 - 07:38 PM

"Actually, we were thinking of naming the baby after you..."

Works particularly well with people you hardly know, they can't get out of there fast enough.



#12 Feral-as-Meggs

Posted 20 February 2013 - 07:40 PM

I said "oh i don't know, what do you think would be nice?"   No one suggested DS name, but it was interesting to hear people's ideas.

#13 Gudrun

Posted 20 February 2013 - 07:42 PM

Just shrug your shoulders and say, 'Dunno'.  As often as you have to.


If they go on then, 'Nup'.

#14 Juki

Posted 20 February 2013 - 07:42 PM

Tell them that you aren't finding out the sex and for names something awful like Shaniqua or Shanaynay if it it a girl and Smokey River or Purple Genie if it is a boy.

#15 Funky Cold Ribena

Posted 20 February 2013 - 07:44 PM

I told people we were finding out gender at the birth, which was true anyway.
As for names, I said we didn't have a clue so throw some ideas at me, even though we did have an idea of what we liked.

#16 Phoenix Blue

Posted 20 February 2013 - 07:45 PM

Honestly, those questions are standard baby chat chat questions. The people who are asking probably don't care. I don't. I just ask because it's polite and expected.

If this gets you worked up, you're going to be in for a whole lot of fun when the baby comes... "Is she a good baby? How's your milk? Is she sleeping through?" Joy.



#17 kerilyntaryn

Posted 20 February 2013 - 07:46 PM

or say after the baby is born we'll know the gender and we'll see what name fits the baby

#18 LittleFinch

Posted 20 February 2013 - 07:46 PM

I told people: We're not sharing names as we don't want other people's opinions - it's hard enough for the two of us to agree on a name let alone if everyone else put in their 2 cents worth.

I like the idea of a decoy name though

#19 Etienne

Posted 20 February 2013 - 07:47 PM

We didn't find out gender nor tell anyone our name choices and when asked simply said it's a surprise and that is that!

#20 Yogurtbliss

Posted 20 February 2013 - 07:54 PM

I am a teacher, so on a daily basis had over 150 teenagers suggesting names! I used decoys that were plausible, Max for a boy, Mary for a girl. They go well with our surname and are names we like, but wouldn't use, so they were appeased. When bub arrived we gave him the real name we had chosen all along.

#21 The Old Feral

Posted 20 February 2013 - 08:00 PM

QUOTE (Jbonnett @ 20/02/2013, 08:54 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I am a teacher, so on a daily basis had over 150 teenagers suggesting names! I used decoys that were plausible, Max for a boy, Mary for a girl. They go well with our surname and are names we like, but wouldn't use, so they were appeased. When bub arrived we gave him the real name we had chosen all along.


LOL your decoy names were our actual choices for DS1!

#22 namie

Posted 20 February 2013 - 08:15 PM

QUOTE (Phoenix Blue @ 20/02/2013, 08:45 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Honestly, those questions are standard baby chat chat questions. The people who are asking probably don't care. I don't. I just ask because it's polite and expected.

But that's just it, I don't think it is polite, or expected. I don't think it's a necessary part of baby chat.

When asked I just said we had no ideas yet and that the baby would most likely be called Baby Surname, or maybe Babette Surname if a girl, if we couldn't agree on anything else.

#23 4kidlets

Posted 20 February 2013 - 08:18 PM

QUOTE (Phoenix Blue @ 20/02/2013, 07:45 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Honestly, those questions are standard baby chat chat questions. The people who are asking probably don't care. I don't. I just ask because it's polite and expected.


I agree.

I dont think pregnant women become public domain - its just a standard small talk question - bit like How is your new job, How are you enjoying retirement, How was your holiday, did you have a nice Christmas, anything else obvious and relevant.


Either say: We havent decided/ We're Keeping it a surprise/make up a plausible or implausibe decoy/ share the actual name. shrug.gif

#24 Loz07

Posted 20 February 2013 - 08:35 PM

I once had someone say to me, dead pan, when I asked:
"Well we're a big beleveer that if you're going to call a baby by a nickname, then you should just call them that to start with. So if it's a boy were thinking Dazza, and if it's a girl we're thinking Shazza".

I'm sure the look on my face was priceless as I tried not to show my horror/laugh. Then she laughed biggrin.gif

We went with 'we have a shortlist/ there's a few we're debating' etc, or we also did a PPs suggestion 'we really like <insert their name> actually'. Not too many people will bag their own name biggrin.gif

PS - no offence to any Shazza's or Dazza's wink.gif

#25 Avogadro

Posted 20 February 2013 - 08:41 PM

When I was asked "what are you having" I liked to respond with "Well we're hoping for a baby, but a puppy would be nice - we've already got one at home so another would fit right in."

Names?  "Well like Jack for a boy, and Alice for a girl" (not at all the names we had chosen wink.gif )




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Win $1000 with Sea-Bands!

Three lucky fans can win a Sea-Band prize pack valued at over $1000 each, which includes two Sea-Bands plus a $1000 Eftpos gift card!

Misery loves Facebook

Facebook users are often criticised for only showing the positive, fun parts of their lives. But what about when it swings the other way, when someone uses it for the purposes of ranting about their children all the time, never posting anything positive?

Toddler's adorable impersonation of pregnant mum

Little Ellis has noticed his mum is walking differently lately, and his impersonation of her is hilarious.

'Forgotten baby syndrome' can happen to any one of us

When my third child was two months old, I strapped her into her car seat, then promptly forgot all about her. But she survived, unharmed, because it was winter, and I was lucky.

Join the Real Mums Test Drive Team

Five mums or mums-to-be will join the EB Test Drive Team and discover great items at an exclusive Big W event. (Sydney only.)

Ten things I've learned about motherhood

Never take a good night's sleep for granted. There is no logic like toddler logic. Standing on Lego hurts every time. These are the truths of parenthood.

Parenting past the toddler years: what's next?

Your baby has grown into a toddler, and now your toddler is fast approaching the preschooler stage. What can you expect as a parent?

Tips on what to pack in your hospital bag

Before giving birth I read countless lists, ended up overpacking just a little, and now know what I'll actually want to pack next time.

New app keeps tabs on your kids at childcare

Popular new technology lets parents know what their children are up to at childcare - but not everyone is a fan.

21 things I love about newborns

There?s an irresistible magic about newborns. Of course they're not all smiles and rainbows, but they are undeniably cute and remarkable in so, so many ways.

Kid-friendly hairdressers: who says haircuts can?t be fun?

I?ve found some salons who boast setups ideal for children ? you name it, they?ve thought of it. All are designed to make haircuts fun rather than stressful.

Labour pain relief may reduce risk of postnatal depression: study

Postnatal depression is a complex condition, but researchers say pain relief during labour may help some women.

Why we need better support for men after miscarriage

In a recent study, 85 per cent of men admitted feeling sadness after their partner miscarried, but almost half said they didn't share their feelings at all. What can be done to help them?

Mum in business: Kristy Chong

Kristy Chong is the managing director of Australian-made Modibodi underwear and a mum to Lucas, 6, Jason, 4, and Isaac, 6 months. She shares her advice for other mums thinking about starting their own businesses.

From toddler to preschooler: a developmental roadmap

So your toddler is growing up and will soon be entering the preschooler years. Here are a few ways to frame their development that will help you understand what?s going in those beautiful, funny, clever little heads of theirs.

Mum sacrifices an eye for her unborn baby

Motherhood is full of sacrifices, but this woman has made a life-altering one - and her baby hasn't even been born.

A grandparent by any other name

A growing number of grandparents are shunning tradition and going against conventional names - but a grandparent by any other name still gives the same awesome cuddles and kisses.

Photographer captures the beauty of adoption

The love of a family is usually tough to capture on camera. This is an exception.

When labour just doesn't happen

After three healthy kids, I can?t help feeling I?ve been a little ripped off. I missed out on something I had always wanted to experience, and now I?ll never get the chance.

Be careful what you say, your baby is listening

The importance of speaking to your baby even if they are not old enough to answer back has been highlighted by new research.

Share the little things that make you smile

We're giving away a Mountain Buggy nano, the ultimate travel stroller - and here are some of the great entries so far.

Win a Mountain Buggy nano

We?re giving away the new Mountain Buggy Nano - the lightweight travel buggy! So show us the little things that make you smile for your chance to win.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win a Mountain Buggy nano

We?re giving away the new Mountain Buggy Nano - the lightweight travel buggy! So show us the little things that make you smile for your chance to win.

Be careful what you say, your baby is listening

The importance of speaking to your baby even if they are not old enough to answer back has been highlighted by new research.

Win $1000 with Sea-Bands!

Three lucky fans can win a Sea-Band prize pack valued at over $1000 each, which includes two Sea-Bands plus a $1000 Eftpos gift card!

The beautiful moment a baby was born at the side of a road

It's not where she expected to give birth, but mum Corrine Cinatl is delighted that her daughter's roadside arrival was captured in a series of beautiful photos.

Doctor sings first Happy Birthday to newborns

His job is to deliver babies, but this US obstetrician also has a unique way of celebrating the miracle of life.

Join the Real Mums Test Drive Team

Five mums or mums-to-be will join the EB Test Drive Team and discover great items at an exclusive Big W event. (Sydney only.)

The Nappy Collective starts new drive

It's that time of year when the dedicated volunteers at The Nappy Collective do their bit to help out mums and children in need - and they need your help.

Baby shower cake wrecks

From misshapen cake babies to questionable text, from odd colour choices to internal organ recreation, these are the baby shower cakes that taste forgot.

Photographer captures the beauty of adoption

The love of a family is usually tough to capture on camera. This is an exception.

Pregnancy progression photo ideas

Want to record your pregnancy as your belly grows? Here are some creative, fun ideas for photo shoots along the way.

The myths and facts about "normal" breastfeeding

When it comes to successful breastfeeding, there is a wide variety to what is "normal", according to new research.

Tin can craft and DIY ideas

Got a few old formula, Milo or coffee cans around the house? Use these fantastic upcycling ideas to create items for around the house and yard.

Dads meet their newborn for the first time

Emotional photos of two fathers meeting their newborn son have resonated with viewers worldwide, attracting thousands of Facebook likes and shares.

Skin safety isn't just a summer worry

Lax about the slip slop slap with your kids as weather turns cooler? Here's a reminder as to why we have to remain vigilant for our children?s future health.

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

Creative sleeping baby photoshoots

See how some parents and photographers have captured sleeping babies in unusual positions and using different props.

DIY kitchen and food hacks

DIY your way to a better kitchen and make cooking easier with our clever hacks. (Some content reproduced with permission from mashable.com.)

Winter warmers for babies and toddlers

Your baby or toddler will be nice and snug in these beautiful and fun winter pieces. Most are hand-made or knitted, and they're all designed to keep your little one toastie - and adorable!

 

Mind, body, beauty, life

Making time for me

We look at your wellbeing, covering health, relationships, beauty and fashion, mind and body.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.