Jump to content

6 month old at funeral


  • Please log in to reply
24 replies to this topic

#1 4ngiebella

Posted 20 February 2013 - 11:50 AM

A good friend of ours died last Friday. His funeral is this Friday. Our boys will be in school but try as I might I cannot get a sitter for our little daughter.

Do you think it's ok for me to take her with us? She is a very quiet baby and I would obviously go outside with her if she got noisy but as I only go to funerals of those very close I don't know what the norm is.

We both want to go to the funeral and ideally we wouldn't take the lady baby with us but unless one of us don't go, this is the only way.

I guess I'm just hoping people will reassure me that it's ok. This week has already been so hard. I had hoped my support network might be a little more understanding and help me out sad.gif

#2 Ange remplie

Posted 20 February 2013 - 11:52 AM

So sorry for your loss.

Yes, absolutely take your DD with you.

#3 Mianta

Posted 20 February 2013 - 11:52 AM

I think it's fine. I'm sorry for your loss sad.gif

#4 Chaos in stereo

Posted 20 February 2013 - 11:54 AM

Yes you can take a baby, but IME be prepared for one of you to spend the whole thing outside with bubs.

#5 FloralArrangement

Posted 20 February 2013 - 11:55 AM

Yes I do think it is ok. Our baby son slept through my grandmother's funeral. My cousin's baby son was also not a problem. I think it is an important funeral for you to attend.

#6 4ngiebella

Posted 20 February 2013 - 11:58 AM

Thank you so much. He was a good man taken too young (42). We just really want to be able to give our respects and say goodbye. He deserves that

#7 Chchgirl

Posted 20 February 2013 - 12:00 PM

I would think so. I didn't mind little or big kids at my dh's funeral, I think your bub should be fine...

Sorry for your loss as well xx

#8 Bel Rowley

Posted 20 February 2013 - 12:00 PM

I agree with Chaos, I would take the baby but be prepared that someone might have to take the baby out. I was very fortunate when I took 7 month old DD to my grandfather's funeral, that a family friend was there to take her out when she started screaming. I was doing a reading and couldn't walk out (plus of course didn't want to).

Very sorry about your friend sad.gif.

#9 Mumsyto2

Posted 20 February 2013 - 12:02 PM

Absolutely. Just sit at the back near the exit door so that if bubs starts wailing one of you can take her out until she is settled then come back in.

I've taken my kids to all funerals I have been to as they have all pertained to family but I would have had no issue taking them to a friends funeral either. To be honest I found that as babies they were no problem, it was the toddler phase that was as they get bored and want to runa round which is inappropriate. When they are older it seemed to be okay as they then moved into a morbid fascination about the whole thing.

#10 Jamelex

Posted 20 February 2013 - 12:05 PM

I'm sorry for your loss.

When DS was a similar age, I had to take him to my aunt's funeral. He slept in the car on the way there and I gave him a feed on arrival so he was happy and settled. We sat at the end of a row next to the side exit and I had his dummy in reach also. We didn't have any problems.

#11 MintyBiscuit

Posted 20 February 2013 - 12:05 PM

I think it's fine. I'd just stand up the back and pop outside at the first sign of any crankiness.

Sorry for your loss sad.gif

#12 elizabethany

Posted 20 February 2013 - 12:11 PM

I took my DS to a funeral at 5 days old, and another at 22 months.  The second one was more of a problem, because he wanted to wriggle and call out.  At 6 months, I can't see a big problem so long as you are willing to take steps to keep noise down or take him outside if you can't.

We fed DS during both services, it is harder to be noisy when your mouth is full.

#13 Mrs Bunny

Posted 20 February 2013 - 12:13 PM

We took our daughter to my aunt's funeral when she was about 3 mths old. I would say get there early, give a feed before hand, take a quiet toy, sit in the back row. Standing at the back for the whole service will be too much for you holding a 6 mth old (esp if you are dressed in heels) and everyone will offer you their seat anyhow, so pick a seat in the back row so you can slip out if necessary.

Funerals are important rituals in grieving and children shouldn't be excluded from them as IMO they need to learn about such rituals, particularly if they are grieving too. Obviously a 6 mth old isn't learning or grieving at this stage, but they are still part of the context. Peace be with you on Friday.

#14 RainyDays

Posted 20 February 2013 - 12:20 PM

I think it's fine, I agree with finding a seat up the back.

#15 4ngiebella

Posted 20 February 2013 - 12:20 PM

Thank you for the wonderful ideas. It's at 11 which is her nap time anyway so I'm hoping like mad that she will want to have a cuddle and a sleep and giving her a feed is a brilliant idea. I will hold off to get her vaccinations next week just in case as well.

I agree Mrs Bunny. I couldn't have said it better. Thank you original.gif

#16 Bluenomi

Posted 20 February 2013 - 12:29 PM

I've taken DD to a funeral around the same age. They actually had a special parents room which was sound proof so they couldn't hear DD but I could still hear the service. It was handy when she got upset and I couldn't calm her, I ducked in there.

#17 glasnost

Posted 20 February 2013 - 12:32 PM

I agree with everyone else, I think that it is fine as long as you are prepared to go outside if bubs starts crying.

Sorry for your loss OP.

#18 HubbaBubbaMumma

Posted 20 February 2013 - 12:37 PM

Sorry for your loss.

I took my then 4 month old to my aunts funeral. His dad stayed at home with our DD who was 20 months old. I just sat near the back so I was a,e to pop out if needed. I fed him during the service and all was fine. Absolutely you should take your little one.

#19 Carmie

Posted 20 February 2013 - 12:52 PM

Last year my dad died and I took my 13mth old, 4yo, 5yo and 7yo. My 13mth old cried through a section of it and a family friend went to take him out but my mum wanted him to stay.

6wks before my dad died my pop died and we also took the 13mth old, 5yo and 7yo (the 4yo didnt want to come) and they were fine, but this one they got a little bored with and DH took the 13mth old out near the end but they had a video link to outside incase you needed to take the kids out you were still able to hear and see what was going on.

#20 The Falcon

Posted 20 February 2013 - 01:00 PM

I agree it is fine. The last funeral we went to was for a good friends Mum, we didn't take the children and our friend and his family told us they wished we had

#21 LittleMissPink

Posted 20 February 2013 - 01:09 PM

I took my then 4 month old to my Aunties funeral, she was fine in the pram, and when she got upset, I had my brother's girlfriend take her outside.

Edited by LittleMissPink, 20 February 2013 - 01:09 PM.


#22 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 20 February 2013 - 03:11 PM

We took my one-month old and my 20-month old to my Dad's funeral.  A couple of other people brought their babies along.  It was no problem.  And a lot of the older people loved seeing young ones at the funeral - circle of life and all that.

Edited by YodaTheWrinkledOne, 20 February 2013 - 03:11 PM.


#23 Feral-as-Meggs

Posted 20 February 2013 - 03:17 PM

It is fine (and I think expected) that a babe in arms will come with the parents.  My DS sadly came to 3 funerals in his first year.  I sort of engineered the day to get him to sleep in his pram or have a feed during the service though.

#24 opethmum

Posted 20 February 2013 - 03:19 PM

I offer my condolences to you at this sad time.
Absolutely it is fine take your baby, I think funerals should be for everyone who loved your friend, age IME is irrelevant and most people I know would hate for you not to attend because of your baby. Go but be prepared to have aids to soothe a grumpy baby and maybe sit near the door


#25 Lauren Bell

Posted 20 February 2013 - 03:28 PM

Sorry for your loss and yes I think it's fine to take your daughter with you.

I had a close friend die early last year and DH talked me out of taking my then 9 month old (she'll probably cry an ruin it) he said. I really regret not going :-( DH is an idiot.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

What you need to know about ovulation tests

Most people who are trying to get pregnant know that the best time to conceive is in the few days after ovulation.

Surviving a miscarriage at sea

A cruise with your family is among the most absurd settings for a miscarriage, but it is certainly not the worst.

Mum of three denied tubal ligation because she's 'too young'

A 22-year-old woman who is pregnant with her third child has had her requests for a tubal ligation denied because doctors believe she is too young.

Slapped cheek syndrome a danger for pregnant women

When a pregnant woman is infected, the likelihood that her foetus will be infected is about 50 per cent.

The signs and symptoms of ovulation

If you're hoping to conceive, one of the most important things you need to know about is ovulation.

We all know 'mum guilt' - but what about 'dad guilt'?

I remember the first time I felt mum guilt, within days of having my first child. The feeling was so intense I rang my own mum to debrief, hoping she'd tell me I wouldn't feel this way very often.

Kristen Bell urges mums to be their own superhero

When it comes to motherhood, actress Kristen Bell is her own superhero and she thinks other mums should be too.

Pram review: GB Pockit travel stroller

In a world of ever-shrinking gadgets, it's no surprise prams are getting smaller. We put the record-holding GB Pockit through its paces.

The beautiful Bombol Bouncer is back

The gorgeous Bombol Bouncer is back - and boasts two chic new colours to boot.

Gadgets and accessories for wine lovers

Looking for a gift for the wine lover in your life - or just something for yourself?

Free ticket offer

Pinky Mckay joins us again at the Essential Baby & Toddler Show presented by Blackmores with her expert baby settling advice. Register now for your free ticket.

The adventure doesn't have to stop: here's how to travel with baby

The best part about our outdoor adventures? It makes my husband and I better parents, since we're happier while adventuring.

Woman crashes car to save mum and baby's life

A good samaritan saved a mother and baby from being seriously injured by crashing her own car into theirs.

Should you tell your boss about your postnatal depression?

Returning to work after having a baby can be daunting, and when you're experiencing postnatal depression or anxiety it can seem even more overwhelming.

TV noise can slow toddler word learning, study finds

Background noise from the radio or TV might be making it harder for your toddler to learn learn new words.

Teresa Palmer on her molar pregnancy and 'unsexy' conception

Teresa Palmer is basking in pregnancy glow as she awaits the arrival of her new baby.

 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Articles

Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

For the festival lover in all of us

Pre-book & Save 50%. Get your tickets now for Kidtopia Festival. 7-9 October 2016 Parramatta Park, Sydney.

Why drinking water can be deadly for babies

H2O is one of the necessities of life, but for babies a seemingly harmless amount of water can be fatal.

5 ways having a baby is different when you have older children

So much parenting advice is geared towards having your first baby, but what's it like having a baby when you already have children?

You can now make your own plush Falkor

Fans of The NeverEnding Story – of which there are certainly plenty – went crazy for these plush Falkors when they first went on sale last year.

Baby steps

10 things that will actually happen after having a baby

I thought I had prepared myself for motherhood. Then my baby girl arrived and knocked everything flat.

Having a baby: expectations vs reality

People love to warn you about what to expect when having a baby, but they can be way off when it comes to the reality.

Are we having fun yet? Thinking positively as a parent

Motherhood is wonderful ... except when it sucks.

The adorable smile of a baby seeing his mum clearly for the first time

There is no doubt seeing their child smile for the first time is an unforgettable moment for parents everywhere.

When breastfeeding doesn't go with the flow

Breast is best, except when it's not. And in our case, it most definitely wasn't.

'If you don't vaccinate your kids you're a bloody idiot'

The photos are heartbreaking and almost too difficult to look at, but Kayley Burke is begging other parents to take notice.

Why pregnant women should eat chocolate

In news that will make expectant mums jump for joy - and reach for a block of Cadbury - scientists have revealed chocolate could provide health benefits during pregnancy.

The baby born with an incredible head of hair

If you're in any way challenged in the follicle department, prepare to feel a jolt of envy - at a two-month-old baby.

The push for Medicare to fund lactation consultants

While meeting with a lactation consultant can make an enormous difference to a new mother, it's not a service that is available through the public health system.

Parents, this is how to cut grapes to avoid choking

One mum has learnt a harrowing lesson about the best way to cut grapes to make it safe for toddlers and little kids to eat.

Three truths about C-section mums

Lately I've been thinking about the caesarean stories and the brave women who birth their children with strength and beauty.

Help! My baby will only sleep in my arms

It's stressful to be the one who is holding your baby most of the day, but it's even more stressful to wonder, 'am I doing something wrong? Or am I creating bad habits?'

 

Free ticket offer

Essential Baby & Toddler Show - Sydney

The Essential Baby & Toddler Show, presented by Blackmores, will be held in Sydney on 23-25 September. Register for your free ticket now to save $20!

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.