Jump to content

6 month old at funeral


  • Please log in to reply
24 replies to this topic

#1 4ngiebella

Posted 20 February 2013 - 11:50 AM

A good friend of ours died last Friday. His funeral is this Friday. Our boys will be in school but try as I might I cannot get a sitter for our little daughter.

Do you think it's ok for me to take her with us? She is a very quiet baby and I would obviously go outside with her if she got noisy but as I only go to funerals of those very close I don't know what the norm is.

We both want to go to the funeral and ideally we wouldn't take the lady baby with us but unless one of us don't go, this is the only way.

I guess I'm just hoping people will reassure me that it's ok. This week has already been so hard. I had hoped my support network might be a little more understanding and help me out sad.gif

#2 Phasmatis angelam

Posted 20 February 2013 - 11:52 AM

So sorry for your loss.

Yes, absolutely take your DD with you.

#3 Mianta

Posted 20 February 2013 - 11:52 AM

I think it's fine. I'm sorry for your loss sad.gif

#4 Chaos in stereo

Posted 20 February 2013 - 11:54 AM

Yes you can take a baby, but IME be prepared for one of you to spend the whole thing outside with bubs.

#5 Floral Arrangement

Posted 20 February 2013 - 11:55 AM

Yes I do think it is ok. Our baby son slept through my grandmother's funeral. My cousin's baby son was also not a problem. I think it is an important funeral for you to attend.

#6 4ngiebella

Posted 20 February 2013 - 11:58 AM

Thank you so much. He was a good man taken too young (42). We just really want to be able to give our respects and say goodbye. He deserves that

#7 Chchgirl

Posted 20 February 2013 - 12:00 PM

I would think so. I didn't mind little or big kids at my dh's funeral, I think your bub should be fine...

Sorry for your loss as well xx

#8 Bel Rowley

Posted 20 February 2013 - 12:00 PM

I agree with Chaos, I would take the baby but be prepared that someone might have to take the baby out. I was very fortunate when I took 7 month old DD to my grandfather's funeral, that a family friend was there to take her out when she started screaming. I was doing a reading and couldn't walk out (plus of course didn't want to).

Very sorry about your friend sad.gif.

#9 Mumsyto2

Posted 20 February 2013 - 12:02 PM

Absolutely. Just sit at the back near the exit door so that if bubs starts wailing one of you can take her out until she is settled then come back in.

I've taken my kids to all funerals I have been to as they have all pertained to family but I would have had no issue taking them to a friends funeral either. To be honest I found that as babies they were no problem, it was the toddler phase that was as they get bored and want to runa round which is inappropriate. When they are older it seemed to be okay as they then moved into a morbid fascination about the whole thing.

#10 Jamelex

Posted 20 February 2013 - 12:05 PM

I'm sorry for your loss.

When DS was a similar age, I had to take him to my aunt's funeral. He slept in the car on the way there and I gave him a feed on arrival so he was happy and settled. We sat at the end of a row next to the side exit and I had his dummy in reach also. We didn't have any problems.

#11 MintyBiscuit

Posted 20 February 2013 - 12:05 PM

I think it's fine. I'd just stand up the back and pop outside at the first sign of any crankiness.

Sorry for your loss sad.gif

#12 elizabethany

Posted 20 February 2013 - 12:11 PM

I took my DS to a funeral at 5 days old, and another at 22 months.  The second one was more of a problem, because he wanted to wriggle and call out.  At 6 months, I can't see a big problem so long as you are willing to take steps to keep noise down or take him outside if you can't.

We fed DS during both services, it is harder to be noisy when your mouth is full.

#13 Mrs Bunny

Posted 20 February 2013 - 12:13 PM

We took our daughter to my aunt's funeral when she was about 3 mths old. I would say get there early, give a feed before hand, take a quiet toy, sit in the back row. Standing at the back for the whole service will be too much for you holding a 6 mth old (esp if you are dressed in heels) and everyone will offer you their seat anyhow, so pick a seat in the back row so you can slip out if necessary.

Funerals are important rituals in grieving and children shouldn't be excluded from them as IMO they need to learn about such rituals, particularly if they are grieving too. Obviously a 6 mth old isn't learning or grieving at this stage, but they are still part of the context. Peace be with you on Friday.

#14 SlinkyMalinki

Posted 20 February 2013 - 12:20 PM

I think it's fine, I agree with finding a seat up the back.

#15 4ngiebella

Posted 20 February 2013 - 12:20 PM

Thank you for the wonderful ideas. It's at 11 which is her nap time anyway so I'm hoping like mad that she will want to have a cuddle and a sleep and giving her a feed is a brilliant idea. I will hold off to get her vaccinations next week just in case as well.

I agree Mrs Bunny. I couldn't have said it better. Thank you original.gif

#16 Bluenomi

Posted 20 February 2013 - 12:29 PM

I've taken DD to a funeral around the same age. They actually had a special parents room which was sound proof so they couldn't hear DD but I could still hear the service. It was handy when she got upset and I couldn't calm her, I ducked in there.

#17 glasnost

Posted 20 February 2013 - 12:32 PM

I agree with everyone else, I think that it is fine as long as you are prepared to go outside if bubs starts crying.

Sorry for your loss OP.

#18 HubbaBubbaMumma

Posted 20 February 2013 - 12:37 PM

Sorry for your loss.

I took my then 4 month old to my aunts funeral. His dad stayed at home with our DD who was 20 months old. I just sat near the back so I was a,e to pop out if needed. I fed him during the service and all was fine. Absolutely you should take your little one.

#19 Carmie

Posted 20 February 2013 - 12:52 PM

Last year my dad died and I took my 13mth old, 4yo, 5yo and 7yo. My 13mth old cried through a section of it and a family friend went to take him out but my mum wanted him to stay.

6wks before my dad died my pop died and we also took the 13mth old, 5yo and 7yo (the 4yo didnt want to come) and they were fine, but this one they got a little bored with and DH took the 13mth old out near the end but they had a video link to outside incase you needed to take the kids out you were still able to hear and see what was going on.

#20 The Falcon

Posted 20 February 2013 - 01:00 PM

I agree it is fine. The last funeral we went to was for a good friends Mum, we didn't take the children and our friend and his family told us they wished we had

#21 LittleMissPink

Posted 20 February 2013 - 01:09 PM

I took my then 4 month old to my Aunties funeral, she was fine in the pram, and when she got upset, I had my brother's girlfriend take her outside.

Edited by LittleMissPink, 20 February 2013 - 01:09 PM.


#22 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 20 February 2013 - 03:11 PM

We took my one-month old and my 20-month old to my Dad's funeral.  A couple of other people brought their babies along.  It was no problem.  And a lot of the older people loved seeing young ones at the funeral - circle of life and all that.

Edited by YodaTheWrinkledOne, 20 February 2013 - 03:11 PM.


#23 Feral-as-Meggs

Posted 20 February 2013 - 03:17 PM

It is fine (and I think expected) that a babe in arms will come with the parents.  My DS sadly came to 3 funerals in his first year.  I sort of engineered the day to get him to sleep in his pram or have a feed during the service though.

#24 opethmum

Posted 20 February 2013 - 03:19 PM

I offer my condolences to you at this sad time.
Absolutely it is fine take your baby, I think funerals should be for everyone who loved your friend, age IME is irrelevant and most people I know would hate for you not to attend because of your baby. Go but be prepared to have aids to soothe a grumpy baby and maybe sit near the door


#25 Lauren Bell

Posted 20 February 2013 - 03:28 PM

Sorry for your loss and yes I think it's fine to take your daughter with you.

I had a close friend die early last year and DH talked me out of taking my then 9 month old (she'll probably cry an ruin it) he said. I really regret not going :-( DH is an idiot.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Tot meets his heroes, falls apart with excitement

Two-year-old Quincy finished his potty training last week, and as part of his reward he was able to meet his idols.

Beautiful in our eyes: Georgia's story

I will never deny the fact that grief has a place when you give birth to a child who brings a set of circumstances very different to what you imagined. Because for nine months, I thought I knew my Georgie.

'It's been phenomenal': widower dad of quads thankful for support

There was nothing Erica and Carlos wanted more than a baby.

Vin Diesel names daughter after actor Paul Walker

The actor said there was "no other person" he was thinking about when he chose the name.

How midwives can help women who experience domestic violence

More than half of women who live with abusive partners experience violence during pregnancy.

Mum describes giving birth during Cyclone Pam

A new mother was told she must flee Port Vila hospital with her baby as Cyclone Pam bore down.

6 signs you're done having babies

There were a few signs I'm never going back to the land of maternity jeans, breast pumps and bassinets.

Marta Dusseldorp reveals breastfeeding cost her an acting job

Australian actress Marta Dusseldorp has revealed she was forced to withdraw from a Sydney Theatre Company production because a director did not approve of her breast feeding.

Female celebs (or their babies) with traditionally male names

Looking for a name that's a little bit different for a girl? Turn to names that have been traditionally used for males, as these celebs (or their parents) did.

'If you're anti-immunisation ... take a look at this picture of my son'

Greg Hughes is "an absolute shell of a man" as he and his wife Catherine struggle to come to terms with the loss of their newborn son Riley to whooping cough.

How an extrovert can raise an introvert

Introverts are often misunderstood as shy, and sometimes even rude. A timid child can be difficult to build rapport with, but it's important we nurture their sensitive natures.

Sheryl Sandberg's advice

'Choreplay': Help out at home to get more sex, Sandberg tells men

Forget foreplay. The new and improved route to intercourse is "choreplay" - it's good for your spouse, good for your house, and comes with the imprimatur of feminist du jour Sheryl Sandberg.

How to play with your baby

The first time your child learns a new skill at playtime is very exciting - for both you and your baby! Play is important to your child's development for a variety of reasons - here are some simple ideas for you to try at home.

I'm a single mother by choice

For me, being the best mother I can be means being a mum alone, at least for now. Thinking of my friends with inadequate partners, I wonder why more people don’t choose single motherhood.

Awkward wedding photos

Weird poses, surprise photobombs, bizarre editing: these are the wedding photos that should have never seen the light of day.

Four-week-old baby Riley Hughes dies of whooping cough

The mother of a four-week-old Perth baby who died after contracting whooping cough says her family has been left devastated by the loss of her "gorgeous, sweet" son.

Win a Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom prize pack

To celebrate the April 1 release of Holly's Magic Wand on DVD and Digital, we are giving away five DVD packs featuring the newest installment of Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom Holly's Magic Wand and many more hours of family entertainment! Enter Now!

Oh boy! Video shows family's reaction to baby surprise

Little Peyton Williams thought she was getting a baby sister named Charlee. But the two-year-old has had to settle for a doll dressed in pink after her baby "sister" turned out to be a boy.

How to help build up your baby's immune system

We all know that having a strong immune system is the best way to stay healthy – but what can we do to help it along?

'Nick, you need to call an ambulance': home birth mum's tragic death

A Melbourne mum who died after the home birth of her baby pleaded with her husband to call an ambulance because she felt she was going to die, the Victorian Coroners Court has heard.

When dads believe their baby doesn't 'like' them

Q: My two-month-old baby doesn't like me. He's perfectly content with my wife, but when I try to hold him, he gets upset and cries. I've backed off a little, thinking that he just needs a little time to get used to me, but that doesn't seem to be working. I'm starting to think I'm just not a very good dad. Is it too late for me to build a relationship with my baby?

When was the last time a stranger praised your parenting?

Wouldn’t it be great to get some nice feedback every now and then? After all, everyone likes to hear positive praise, particularly when it comes to parenting.

Special Ticket Offer, Save $8!

The Essential Baby & Toddler Show is back this April! Save $8 off the door price for a limited time only!

15 names on the verge of extinction

If you're looking to revive an older name, or don’t want anything near the top 1000 list, check out these rare monikers for your unique baby.

5 characteristics of great dads

It’s great to see a generation of dads who are more actively involved with caring, nurturing and loving their kids.

Why doesn't Australia have more breast milk banks?

When there’s no question that milk banks are important, why don’t we have more of them in Australia?

Carrie Bickmore announces birth of daughter

Television personality Carrie Bickmore has given birth to her second child.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Sign up to our 30 days of #PlayIQ challenge

Sign up to receive 30 amazing tips and ideas for play with baby during the month of April and submit a picture or tip on our social wall for a chance to win an amazing Fisher-Price prize pack.

Man faces jail after giving woman abortion pill smoothie

A Norwegian man is facing jail after putting abortion pills in his ex-girlfriend's smoothie, causing her to have a miscarriage.

'He's a blessing': family of baby born without eyes

Jordy Jackson was born without eyes. He has anophthalmia, which affects one in every 100,000 babies born.

Win one of 5 Cadbury Easter Hampers

With Easter fast approaching, Cadbury are giving away 5 Cadbury Easter Hampers. Enter Now!

Super fit model Sarah Stage defends her pregnancy body

Model Sarah Stage has defended her pregnancy body after critics claimed her slim figure at eight-and-a-half months pregnant wasn't "normal".

Win a Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom and Peppa Pig prize pack

To celebrate the April 1 release of Holly's Magic Wand on DVD and Digital, Essential Baby and Entertainment One are giving away five bumper DVD packs featuring the newest installment of Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom Holly's Magic Wand and many more hours of family entertainment! Enter Now!

Why I post breastfeeding photos online

I love to take pictures of my children. In some of the pictures, my younger son is nursing.

The day I broke my baby

There are things I wish I didn't know. I wish I didn't know that companies make tiny braces, small enough to hold necks no bigger than a wrist.

The place just for dads of multiples

When a couple discovers they're expecting multiples, the dad can sometimes be almost forgotten in all the excitement and preparation. But one group offers a space just for dads of twins and higher-order multiples.

Brave mum calls for domestic violence law reform

A brave mum of two has shared details of the harrowing attacks she suffered at the hands of her partner in a bid to help other victims of domestic violence.

Why I had the new test for Down syndrome

Early last year I turned 35, and having just found out I was pregnant, I opted to have the new test for Down syndrome.

Geeky baby gear

If your family is more into Star Wars, gaming and the periodic table than most, you might want to check out these geek-chic baby items.

2015: the year of the sheep

According to the Chinese zodiac, babies born in the year of the sheep are creative and enjoy spending quiet time with their own thoughts.

Breakthrough genetic testing now available in Australia

Pregnant women will for the first time have access to locally analysed, accurate, non-invasive pre-natal genetic testing when the first Australian clinic to offer the services opens its doors next week.

Grandbabies: the babies born looking old

Not a day under 65 and a lifetime of struggle! That's the look of these newborns, who look adorably older than their real age. Social networking site Reddit recently featured user submissions of adorable grandbabies, here are our favourites.

Family kicked off flight after toddler seatbelt drama

An entire family was kicked off a Cathay Pacific flight when a misbehaving toddler refused to put his seatbelt on.

Stolen baby found after 17 years

A baby stolen from her mother's arms shortly after birth has been found through an astonishing coincidence.

53 creative pregnancy announcements

Announcing that you're expecting can be a time to express your creativity, sense of humour and imagination. Check out how other parents and parents-to-be have broken the news to friends and family.

IKEA hacks for the nursery and kids' rooms

Are you one of those that know the whole IKEA catalogue by heart? Love their stuff but want to personalise it? Here's some inspiration to help you realise the potential of IKEA furniture and fittings.

36 baby names inspired by food and drinks

A French court may have ruled out Nutella as a baby name, but that doesn't have to stop you from taking inspiration from the supermarket (or bottle shop). See what parents in the US have chosen for their delicious little ones.

Clever breastfeeding products

Check out this range of products designed to help make your breastfeeding journey more enjoyable, manageable and convenient.

 

Sign up now!

30 days of #PlayIQ challenge

Receive a daily email from Essential Baby during April with great play tips and ideas, then submit your baby at play photos to our Playwall, Instagram or Twitter for your chance to win.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.