Jump to content
6 month old at funeral
24 replies to this topic
Posted 20 February 2013 - 11:50 AM
A good friend of ours died last Friday. His funeral is this Friday. Our boys will be in school but try as I might I cannot get a sitter for our little daughter.
Do you think it's ok for me to take her with us? She is a very quiet baby and I would obviously go outside with her if she got noisy but as I only go to funerals of those very close I don't know what the norm is.
We both want to go to the funeral and ideally we wouldn't take the lady baby with us but unless one of us don't go, this is the only way.
I guess I'm just hoping people will reassure me that it's ok. This week has already been so hard. I had hoped my support network might be a little more understanding and help me out
Posted 20 February 2013 - 11:52 AM
So sorry for your loss.
Yes, absolutely take your DD with you.
Posted 20 February 2013 - 11:54 AM
Yes you can take a baby, but IME be prepared for one of you to spend the whole thing outside with bubs.
Posted 20 February 2013 - 11:55 AM
Yes I do think it is ok. Our baby son slept through my grandmother's funeral. My cousin's baby son was also not a problem. I think it is an important funeral for you to attend.
Posted 20 February 2013 - 11:58 AM
Thank you so much. He was a good man taken too young (42). We just really want to be able to give our respects and say goodbye. He deserves that
Posted 20 February 2013 - 12:00 PM
I would think so. I didn't mind little or big kids at my dh's funeral, I think your bub should be fine...
Sorry for your loss as well xx
Posted 20 February 2013 - 12:00 PM
I agree with Chaos, I would take the baby but be prepared that someone might have to take the baby out. I was very fortunate when I took 7 month old DD to my grandfather's funeral, that a family friend was there to take her out when she started screaming. I was doing a reading and couldn't walk out (plus of course didn't want to).
Very sorry about your friend .
Posted 20 February 2013 - 12:02 PM
Absolutely. Just sit at the back near the exit door so that if bubs starts wailing one of you can take her out until she is settled then come back in.
I've taken my kids to all funerals I have been to as they have all pertained to family but I would have had no issue taking them to a friends funeral either. To be honest I found that as babies they were no problem, it was the toddler phase that was as they get bored and want to runa round which is inappropriate. When they are older it seemed to be okay as they then moved into a morbid fascination about the whole thing.
Posted 20 February 2013 - 12:05 PM
I'm sorry for your loss.
When DS was a similar age, I had to take him to my aunt's funeral. He slept in the car on the way there and I gave him a feed on arrival so he was happy and settled. We sat at the end of a row next to the side exit and I had his dummy in reach also. We didn't have any problems.
Posted 20 February 2013 - 12:05 PM
I think it's fine. I'd just stand up the back and pop outside at the first sign of any crankiness.
Sorry for your loss
Posted 20 February 2013 - 12:11 PM
I took my DS to a funeral at 5 days old, and another at 22 months. The second one was more of a problem, because he wanted to wriggle and call out. At 6 months, I can't see a big problem so long as you are willing to take steps to keep noise down or take him outside if you can't.
We fed DS during both services, it is harder to be noisy when your mouth is full.
Posted 20 February 2013 - 12:13 PM
We took our daughter to my aunt's funeral when she was about 3 mths old. I would say get there early, give a feed before hand, take a quiet toy, sit in the back row. Standing at the back for the whole service will be too much for you holding a 6 mth old (esp if you are dressed in heels) and everyone will offer you their seat anyhow, so pick a seat in the back row so you can slip out if necessary.
Funerals are important rituals in grieving and children shouldn't be excluded from them as IMO they need to learn about such rituals, particularly if they are grieving too. Obviously a 6 mth old isn't learning or grieving at this stage, but they are still part of the context. Peace be with you on Friday.
Posted 20 February 2013 - 12:20 PM
I think it's fine, I agree with finding a seat up the back.
Posted 20 February 2013 - 12:20 PM
Thank you for the wonderful ideas. It's at 11 which is her nap time anyway so I'm hoping like mad that she will want to have a cuddle and a sleep and giving her a feed is a brilliant idea. I will hold off to get her vaccinations next week just in case as well.
I agree Mrs Bunny. I couldn't have said it better. Thank you
Posted 20 February 2013 - 12:29 PM
I've taken DD to a funeral around the same age. They actually had a special parents room which was sound proof so they couldn't hear DD but I could still hear the service. It was handy when she got upset and I couldn't calm her, I ducked in there.
Posted 20 February 2013 - 12:32 PM
I agree with everyone else, I think that it is fine as long as you are prepared to go outside if bubs starts crying.
Sorry for your loss OP.
Posted 20 February 2013 - 12:37 PM
Sorry for your loss.
I took my then 4 month old to my aunts funeral. His dad stayed at home with our DD who was 20 months old. I just sat near the back so I was a,e to pop out if needed. I fed him during the service and all was fine. Absolutely you should take your little one.
Posted 20 February 2013 - 12:52 PM
Last year my dad died and I took my 13mth old, 4yo, 5yo and 7yo. My 13mth old cried through a section of it and a family friend went to take him out but my mum wanted him to stay.
6wks before my dad died my pop died and we also took the 13mth old, 5yo and 7yo (the 4yo didnt want to come) and they were fine, but this one they got a little bored with and DH took the 13mth old out near the end but they had a video link to outside incase you needed to take the kids out you were still able to hear and see what was going on.
Posted 20 February 2013 - 01:00 PM
I agree it is fine. The last funeral we went to was for a good friends Mum, we didn't take the children and our friend and his family told us they wished we had
Posted 20 February 2013 - 01:09 PM
I took my then 4 month old to my Aunties funeral, she was fine in the pram, and when she got upset, I had my brother's girlfriend take her outside.
Edited by LittleMissPink, 20 February 2013 - 01:09 PM.
Posted 20 February 2013 - 03:11 PM
We took my one-month old and my 20-month old to my Dad's funeral. A couple of other people brought their babies along. It was no problem. And a lot of the older people loved seeing young ones at the funeral - circle of life and all that.
Edited by YodaTheWrinkledOne, 20 February 2013 - 03:11 PM.
Posted 20 February 2013 - 03:17 PM
It is fine (and I think expected) that a babe in arms will come with the parents. My DS sadly came to 3 funerals in his first year. I sort of engineered the day to get him to sleep in his pram or have a feed during the service though.
Posted 20 February 2013 - 03:19 PM
I offer my condolences to you at this sad time.
Absolutely it is fine take your baby, I think funerals should be for everyone who loved your friend, age IME is irrelevant and most people I know would hate for you not to attend because of your baby. Go but be prepared to have aids to soothe a grumpy baby and maybe sit near the door
Posted 20 February 2013 - 03:28 PM
Sorry for your loss and yes I think it's fine to take your daughter with you.
I had a close friend die early last year and DH talked me out of taking my then 9 month old (she'll probably cry an ruin it) he said. I really regret not going :-( DH is an idiot.
1 user(s) are reading this topic
0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users
At just 37 years of age, with two young sons, Vicki was diagnosed with inflammatory breast cancer. Now her family wants all women to know the symptoms.
Pregnancy and birth is an intriguing process no matter where you are in the world. One soon-to-be father gleans wisdom from a new guide.
It’s not surprising that IVF is often seen as a negative journey towards the ultimate positive, but having a glass-half-full approach can make a big difference to the experience.
A mum explains why she and her husband are choosing to gift their leftover embryos to help strangers achieve their dream of parenthood.
Just as every baby is unique, so is every pregnancy. And that means morning sickness can vary a lot, too.
Why is it that the word ‘mumsy’ has connotations of such a negative nature – but seems to be the only other option apart from ‘yummy’?
As the waiting game of late pregnancy continues, this mum considers a few things that might hurry things up a little.
It has been a little over a month since William Tyrell disappeared from his grandmother's home, 33 long sleepless nights for his family as they mourn the absence of their cheeky young boy.
Babies born in the summer are much more likely to suffer from mood swings when they grow up, while those born in the winter are less likely to become irritable adults, scientists claim.
Suddenly single with a baby and an 11-year-old son, Tara O?Connell developed an app to improve the lives of mothers who were similarly overwhelmed.
As soon as your baby enters the world, everything else takes a back seat - even the necessities of daily life such as eating are severely compromised, right when you need energy the most.
The Live Lighter campaign will take people inside the human body to show the internal dangers of being overweight.
A new mum's first month of motherhood didn't pan out as expected when she lost a family member weeks after her baby's birth.
Facebook and Apple are hoping to provide women with the freedom to build their careers without the added pressure of having children at or by a certain age.
The idea of making a 'pregnancy contract' with your partner may sound a bit silly at first, but it can help make the transition to parenthood a lot smoother.
Burping babies vs burpees – yes, new mums and personal trainers live in different worlds. But they can work together - once you find the right match for you and your lifestyle.
Police say that an incident in which a man pulled on a woman?s pram while walking a popular Sydney route late last month was a misunderstanding.
Three weeks ago, my auntie, a midwife, developed a fever. Sitting here in Sydney basked in Australian sunshine, that shouldn't be big news.
One mum shares her frightening experience and vows to never take her health for granted again.
Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.
Top 5 Articles
Capture life more easily with the Canon Powershot D30. Shockproof, waterproof and dustproof, you can take it almost anywhere and shoot beautiful images, time after time. Enter now!
I am five years into this parenting gig and I’ve learnt that sleepless nights and changing dirty nappies are child’s play.
It's nice to celebrate a child making the shift from nappies to 'big kid' undies, but do we really need a semi-realistic used toilet cake to do it? Here are some of the best and worst cakes parents have used at 'potty parties' around the world.
Plan ahead - and do it now - to ensure festive season expenses don't break the bank.
A sequel is coming soon to the 2011 hit book 'Go the F*** to Sleep' - and this time, it's about mealtimes.
Handmade crafts to decorate and personalise your child's next birthday - from banners to cake decorations, we've got gorgeous party finds from Etsy.
Creative and practical storage ideas for the kids' toys and books can also add some stylish decor to your home. Visit babyology.com.au for more stylish modern finds for hip kids & parents.
I have a chronic illness nobody likes to discuss, as it involves toilet talk. But it needs to be talked about.
Maybe the mum I saw in that waiting room, seemingly disconnected from her baby, doesn’t have the support she needs.
Starting a family doesn't always mean moving into a bigger house - not yet, anyway.
What's in a name?
Looking for a classic name, or an unusual name? Our Baby Name Finder is for you, search or browse to refine your shortlist.