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Did four kids push you over the edge?


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#1 thelms

Posted 20 February 2013 - 08:35 AM

I have three beautiful children (5, 3 & 1yrs) and can't get the thought of number four out of my head.

I work part time (stressful at times), DH has a great job that whilst it can be stressful, it's not too demanding time wise, he is home a fair bit.

Life is hectic but doable and enjoyable most of the time.

I am worried that if we have a forth baby it may push us over the edge (trying to juggle house, work, school etc)... I would expect the first year to be difficult but after that do things settle down? Is four a lot more work than three?

What's your experience?



#2 MotherClucker

Posted 20 February 2013 - 08:42 AM

Yes but only because 3 & 4 came at the same time and I had a 1 and 3 year old at the time roll2.gif

I still went back for #5 though so it couldnt of been that traumatising.

I think where there is a will, there is a way. You will be fine. I am guessing you have up and down days now and the same will apply when/if #4 comes.  

You have some nice gaps. I say go for it original.gif

#3 lactasticmama

Posted 20 February 2013 - 08:48 AM

Nope, I've managed fine. My 3 were 5, 3 & 18mths when #4 came along. (Now 6, almost 4, 2 & 6mths).

It's been no more hard work than it was with 3. You kinda just gotta deal & get on with it. The older 2 are pretty good at helping if I needed (especially my 6yr old), so it's not as full on. We all adjusted pretty quickly, and after a few days it was like #4 had always been with us.

I'm eager for #5, but that won't be for another 5 years, IF I manage to convince the husband.

#4 crazyhappy

Posted 20 February 2013 - 11:07 AM

hasn't pushed me over the edge yet - however our 4th child is only 3 months old. I expect it will get harder when he is on the move.

I haven't found it more work in terms of household work, I am used to being woken overnight and already needed to be organised with 3 kids to make sure we all got to where we need to go on time. The things I have found difficult aren't really because he is the 4th child, but just because he hates the car and screams when I have to take the other kids to swimming etc.

4 is my limit though, I know that I would feel to stretched with more and I like to be able to spend time with each child indivdually. I guess everyone has different limits. My DH and I are so happy to have 4 and its perfect for us even though its very busy.

#5 gizboo

Posted 20 February 2013 - 11:13 AM

Nope. I found 4 to be easier then 3!
#4 is turning 2yo tomorrow and we survived unscathed so far original.gif

DD2 turned up 3wks after DD1 started school (so all were under 5yo at one point), so we had to balance out school runs, with other activities. I think we were lucky in that she has always been pretty easy going. No edges in sight, so far!

#6 SummerStar

Posted 20 February 2013 - 03:06 PM

I've managed. And it's easy enough because I have older children who help out alot. But she has by far been my most difficult child, though I wouldn't be with out her now, I probably wouldn't have gone again had I known... If that makes sense.
Couldn't imagine life without her now though.
She's cured me of ever contemplating any more though... That's for sure.

Edited by SummerStar, 20 February 2013 - 03:07 PM.


#7 CafeCat

Posted 20 February 2013 - 03:09 PM

We have five so four must have been okay  wink.gif

One thing I have realised is when they were younger things were a lot easier to manage. This year with five kids across three different schools and all with differing interests/sports/activities plus two full time working parents things are starting to get a little stretched. I think I may be looking over the edge of that cliff for a soft landing place some day soon - I don't think I could get a more diverse lot of kids if I tried.

#8 emwill

Posted 20 February 2013 - 03:16 PM

No, it's a really nice balance in our house, we were blessed with 2 boys and 2 girls and although there are large age gaps between them, they always have another sibling to play with, ask for help, snuggle with etc.
I only wish the age gaps hadn't been so big (just they way it turned out for us - no reason other than that) as it feels like we play 'deja vu' with the younger two after having done it with the older two. Some days it feels like my life is on repeat original.gif

Edited by emwill, 20 February 2013 - 03:18 PM.


#9 KBM

Posted 20 February 2013 - 03:36 PM

I struggle with 3!  But DH is fifo so, half the time, Im doing it by myself.

Now that older two are nearly 8 and 6, its the bickering and argueing that drives me batty.  I think I liked it better when they were babies, waking me every 2 hours, changing horrible pooey nappies and not being able to do anything for themselves.

I think you know in yourself what your own personality is like and how much you can handle without going nuts.

#10 bec4

Posted 22 February 2013 - 11:05 AM

No, but 5 did.  rolleyes.gif

I think it is just because they are so far apart in age and all have different interests and lots of sports etc.  Some days I want to just jump off the cliff.


Our oldest isn't even living at home anymore, I don't know whether this has made is harder or easier.

Bec

Edited by bec4, 22 February 2013 - 11:06 AM.


#11 kabailz13

Posted 22 February 2013 - 11:31 AM

We made the jump from 3 to 5 with our twins.

When they were born, the others were 2, just 5 and 9 (4 kids 5yrs and under). It has been hard at times and not as enjoyable as it was when the other kids were little but I believe that is more to do with their being twins than the 4th or 5th child.

Lately I've even found myself wondering about #6!!! OMG someone shoot me Tounge1.gif

#12 podg

Posted 22 February 2013 - 11:49 AM

It certainly has us teetering. While our marriage is solid and I wouldn't choose a kid to send back, four under 6 is a very busy and challenging time. I spend most of my time running just to keep on top, my house is a mess (round the edges), and if I was to get sick I don't know how we'd cope.

Last week the car had to go in, we spent most of Thursday at the doctor's and my washing machine was on the blink all week. I had a bit of a cry on the Friday evening when I hadn't managed to bake a cake for DH's birthday, it had been very stressful.

#13 thelms

Posted 22 February 2013 - 12:06 PM

Thank you for your experiences...

I think we will gamble it and pray we don't get twins!!

#14 Bam1

Posted 22 February 2013 - 01:26 PM

QUOTE (thelms @ 22/02/2013, 01:06 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Thank you for your experiences...

I think we will gamble it and pray we don't get twins!!


Pray hard!  I don't think #4 would have pushed us over the edge if he hadn't brought #5 as well!

#15 FeralLIfeHacker

Posted 22 February 2013 - 11:58 PM

No #4 was a delight and easy peasy, somewhere around #5 or 6 I lost the plot laugh.gif .  Probably didn't help that 5 and 6 were only 13 months apart.  I was just saying to someone today that there are whole periods of time during that stage that I don't even remember ohmy.gif

#16 mumandboys

Posted 23 February 2013 - 05:24 AM

I have 4, I was like you, yearning for a 4th.  Mine are similarly spaced to yours.

I'm struggling to stretch myself across the 4 kids and their different needs.  I often worry that I'm not meeting anyone's needs (and I only have two in school).

My youngest will turn 3 this year, and as a PP said, I think it actually gets busier as they get older - which is scary, quite frankly.

Having said all that, I don't have any regrets, and I no longer yearn for another.  So I take that as a sign that #4 was meant to be!

#17 kabailz13

Posted 23 February 2013 - 05:07 PM

QUOTE (thelms @ 22/02/2013, 10:06 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Thank you for your experiences...

I think we will gamble it and pray we don't get twins!!


hehehe I started a thread the month before I got pregnant with our twins asking how many people really have twins as #4 and #5 Tounge1.gif

Good luck! biggrin.gif

#18 Rolex

Posted 24 February 2013 - 07:12 AM

QUOTE (kabailz13 @ 23/02/2013, 05:07 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
hehehe I started a thread the month before I got pregnant with our twins asking how many people really have twins as #4 and #5 Tounge1.gif

Good luck! biggrin.gif

Hahahaha, I remember that Kelly!!  
(I am under a new username now wink.gif )

I have #4 on the way now but my other kids will be 12, 10, 8.  Hopefully everything will fall into place!

#19 SummerStar

Posted 24 February 2013 - 07:14 AM

That's a similar age gap to my kids, it's way easier in my opinion than having them all close together. I have friends with them all close and they are more flat out than I am.
But what I'm finding is there's always someone there to entertain the youngest but when it's just me and her it can be a bit trying. I can't give her the constant attention the kids can because I have stuff to do around the house too.

#20 librablonde

Posted 24 February 2013 - 07:24 AM

For me, once I had more than 3 kids, 2 extra ones made no real difference to the chaos. So now we have 5 and it's great. Very hard, messy, loud, sticky,  maddening, exhausting... but great original.gif




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