Jump to content

Did four kids push you over the edge?


  • Please log in to reply
19 replies to this topic

#1 thelms

Posted 20 February 2013 - 08:35 AM

I have three beautiful children (5, 3 & 1yrs) and can't get the thought of number four out of my head.

I work part time (stressful at times), DH has a great job that whilst it can be stressful, it's not too demanding time wise, he is home a fair bit.

Life is hectic but doable and enjoyable most of the time.

I am worried that if we have a forth baby it may push us over the edge (trying to juggle house, work, school etc)... I would expect the first year to be difficult but after that do things settle down? Is four a lot more work than three?

What's your experience?



#2 MotherClucker

Posted 20 February 2013 - 08:42 AM

Yes but only because 3 & 4 came at the same time and I had a 1 and 3 year old at the time roll2.gif

I still went back for #5 though so it couldnt of been that traumatising.

I think where there is a will, there is a way. You will be fine. I am guessing you have up and down days now and the same will apply when/if #4 comes.  

You have some nice gaps. I say go for it original.gif

#3 lactasticmama

Posted 20 February 2013 - 08:48 AM

Nope, I've managed fine. My 3 were 5, 3 & 18mths when #4 came along. (Now 6, almost 4, 2 & 6mths).

It's been no more hard work than it was with 3. You kinda just gotta deal & get on with it. The older 2 are pretty good at helping if I needed (especially my 6yr old), so it's not as full on. We all adjusted pretty quickly, and after a few days it was like #4 had always been with us.

I'm eager for #5, but that won't be for another 5 years, IF I manage to convince the husband.

#4 crazyhappy

Posted 20 February 2013 - 11:07 AM

hasn't pushed me over the edge yet - however our 4th child is only 3 months old. I expect it will get harder when he is on the move.

I haven't found it more work in terms of household work, I am used to being woken overnight and already needed to be organised with 3 kids to make sure we all got to where we need to go on time. The things I have found difficult aren't really because he is the 4th child, but just because he hates the car and screams when I have to take the other kids to swimming etc.

4 is my limit though, I know that I would feel to stretched with more and I like to be able to spend time with each child indivdually. I guess everyone has different limits. My DH and I are so happy to have 4 and its perfect for us even though its very busy.

#5 gizboo

Posted 20 February 2013 - 11:13 AM

Nope. I found 4 to be easier then 3!
#4 is turning 2yo tomorrow and we survived unscathed so far original.gif

DD2 turned up 3wks after DD1 started school (so all were under 5yo at one point), so we had to balance out school runs, with other activities. I think we were lucky in that she has always been pretty easy going. No edges in sight, so far!

#6 SummerStar

Posted 20 February 2013 - 03:06 PM

I've managed. And it's easy enough because I have older children who help out alot. But she has by far been my most difficult child, though I wouldn't be with out her now, I probably wouldn't have gone again had I known... If that makes sense.
Couldn't imagine life without her now though.
She's cured me of ever contemplating any more though... That's for sure.

Edited by SummerStar, 20 February 2013 - 03:07 PM.


#7 CafeCat

Posted 20 February 2013 - 03:09 PM

We have five so four must have been okay  wink.gif

One thing I have realised is when they were younger things were a lot easier to manage. This year with five kids across three different schools and all with differing interests/sports/activities plus two full time working parents things are starting to get a little stretched. I think I may be looking over the edge of that cliff for a soft landing place some day soon - I don't think I could get a more diverse lot of kids if I tried.

#8 emwill

Posted 20 February 2013 - 03:16 PM

No, it's a really nice balance in our house, we were blessed with 2 boys and 2 girls and although there are large age gaps between them, they always have another sibling to play with, ask for help, snuggle with etc.
I only wish the age gaps hadn't been so big (just they way it turned out for us - no reason other than that) as it feels like we play 'deja vu' with the younger two after having done it with the older two. Some days it feels like my life is on repeat original.gif

Edited by emwill, 20 February 2013 - 03:18 PM.


#9 KBM

Posted 20 February 2013 - 03:36 PM

I struggle with 3!  But DH is fifo so, half the time, Im doing it by myself.

Now that older two are nearly 8 and 6, its the bickering and argueing that drives me batty.  I think I liked it better when they were babies, waking me every 2 hours, changing horrible pooey nappies and not being able to do anything for themselves.

I think you know in yourself what your own personality is like and how much you can handle without going nuts.

#10 bec4

Posted 22 February 2013 - 11:05 AM

No, but 5 did.  rolleyes.gif

I think it is just because they are so far apart in age and all have different interests and lots of sports etc.  Some days I want to just jump off the cliff.


Our oldest isn't even living at home anymore, I don't know whether this has made is harder or easier.

Bec

Edited by bec4, 22 February 2013 - 11:06 AM.


#11 kabailz13

Posted 22 February 2013 - 11:31 AM

We made the jump from 3 to 5 with our twins.

When they were born, the others were 2, just 5 and 9 (4 kids 5yrs and under). It has been hard at times and not as enjoyable as it was when the other kids were little but I believe that is more to do with their being twins than the 4th or 5th child.

Lately I've even found myself wondering about #6!!! OMG someone shoot me Tounge1.gif

#12 podg

Posted 22 February 2013 - 11:49 AM

It certainly has us teetering. While our marriage is solid and I wouldn't choose a kid to send back, four under 6 is a very busy and challenging time. I spend most of my time running just to keep on top, my house is a mess (round the edges), and if I was to get sick I don't know how we'd cope.

Last week the car had to go in, we spent most of Thursday at the doctor's and my washing machine was on the blink all week. I had a bit of a cry on the Friday evening when I hadn't managed to bake a cake for DH's birthday, it had been very stressful.

#13 thelms

Posted 22 February 2013 - 12:06 PM

Thank you for your experiences...

I think we will gamble it and pray we don't get twins!!

#14 Bam1

Posted 22 February 2013 - 01:26 PM

QUOTE (thelms @ 22/02/2013, 01:06 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Thank you for your experiences...

I think we will gamble it and pray we don't get twins!!


Pray hard!  I don't think #4 would have pushed us over the edge if he hadn't brought #5 as well!

#15 FeralLIfeHacker

Posted 22 February 2013 - 11:58 PM

No #4 was a delight and easy peasy, somewhere around #5 or 6 I lost the plot laugh.gif .  Probably didn't help that 5 and 6 were only 13 months apart.  I was just saying to someone today that there are whole periods of time during that stage that I don't even remember ohmy.gif

#16 mumandboys

Posted 23 February 2013 - 05:24 AM

I have 4, I was like you, yearning for a 4th.  Mine are similarly spaced to yours.

I'm struggling to stretch myself across the 4 kids and their different needs.  I often worry that I'm not meeting anyone's needs (and I only have two in school).

My youngest will turn 3 this year, and as a PP said, I think it actually gets busier as they get older - which is scary, quite frankly.

Having said all that, I don't have any regrets, and I no longer yearn for another.  So I take that as a sign that #4 was meant to be!

#17 kabailz13

Posted 23 February 2013 - 05:07 PM

QUOTE (thelms @ 22/02/2013, 10:06 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Thank you for your experiences...

I think we will gamble it and pray we don't get twins!!


hehehe I started a thread the month before I got pregnant with our twins asking how many people really have twins as #4 and #5 Tounge1.gif

Good luck! biggrin.gif

#18 Rolex

Posted 24 February 2013 - 07:12 AM

QUOTE (kabailz13 @ 23/02/2013, 05:07 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
hehehe I started a thread the month before I got pregnant with our twins asking how many people really have twins as #4 and #5 Tounge1.gif

Good luck! biggrin.gif

Hahahaha, I remember that Kelly!!  
(I am under a new username now wink.gif )

I have #4 on the way now but my other kids will be 12, 10, 8.  Hopefully everything will fall into place!

#19 SummerStar

Posted 24 February 2013 - 07:14 AM

That's a similar age gap to my kids, it's way easier in my opinion than having them all close together. I have friends with them all close and they are more flat out than I am.
But what I'm finding is there's always someone there to entertain the youngest but when it's just me and her it can be a bit trying. I can't give her the constant attention the kids can because I have stuff to do around the house too.

#20 librablonde

Posted 24 February 2013 - 07:24 AM

For me, once I had more than 3 kids, 2 extra ones made no real difference to the chaos. So now we have 5 and it's great. Very hard, messy, loud, sticky,  maddening, exhausting... but great original.gif




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Video: 10-week-old baby sounds like she says 'I love you'

It’s mixed in amongst garbled baby talk, but this 10-week-old's apparent attempt at telling her parents that she loves them has made her an internet star.

I only enjoyed pregnancy after booking my caesarean

To say I became obsessed is something of an understatement. Everywhere I went I found cause to be reminded of my impending pain.

When your bundle doesn't bring immediate joy

One mum says joy is very a personal feeling and expecting all new mums to feel it in the months after their baby born may do more harm than good.

Lessons learned from my toddler

Blogger Kiran Chug explains why she is going to let her toddler make more decisions for himself.

Family welcomes first baby girl in more than 100 years

The Silverton family has heard the phrase "it's a girl" for the first time in four generations.

When a community of kindness steps in

In future when someone I care for, or even someone I barely know, is experiencing a difficult time, I will not overthink it. I'll follow my heart.

Mum in Business: Jac Bowie

Jac Bowie is the founder of Business in Heels, one of the fastest growing women’s networking events in Australia. She shares her story, including how she juggles work with a young family, and ways to work smarter.

What not to say to a mum of twins

Being a mum of identical twin boys stirs up great interest and fascination. It also opens itself up to nosy, invasive questions, as well as huge assumptions.

The mums suing over unplanned babies

A mother-of-five who calls her two youngest sons "miracle babies" is just one of many mums seeking financial compensation for their children's unplanned conceptions.

Video: Dad sings 'Hallelujah' to his daughter every year

It's a gorgeous song to begin with, but this dad's version of Hallelujah, sung for his young daughter, is especially touching.

Constipation in babies when starting solids

While starting solids can be frustrating and messy (yet also fun!), introducing solids can also play havoc on tiny digestive systems.

Parents reunited with baby snatched from hospital

A mother whose newborn baby was snatched from hospital has spoken of her joy and relief at getting her daughter back.

In defence of the bumpie

Are bumpies - bump selfies - really "exhibitionism of the weirdest kind"?

Life on the other side of the fence: Why I'm child-free and quite content

Acknowledging that motherhood isn't a bed of roses – to begrudge lack of time, sleep, money and spontaneity – is sacrilegious and a no-no, especially by mother superior-types.

'Go the F*** to Sleep' author's new book for frustrated parents

A sequel is coming soon to the 2011 hit book 'Go the F*** to Sleep' - and this time, it's about mealtimes.

Win a $200 Pumpkin Patch voucher

Fill out this quick survey and tell us in 25 words or less your best pregnancy or parenting tip - you'll go in the draw to win a $200 Pumpkin Patch voucher.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Losing yourself to motherhood

While watching your baby grow into a unique little person is exciting and wondrous, the intensity of meeting everyone else?s needs can ever so sneakily overtake your own needs for self-care.

Tearing during delivery: the facts

Almost all women will experience bruising, grazing or tearing after a vaginal birth. Depending on the degree of tearing, there are various treatments available.

6 tips for a day out with a baby and toddler

Outings can be lots of fun with the kids, but there are inevitable challenges. Here's some information about days out to help you be a little more prepared.

Why I invited a dozen people to watch my son's birth

I sent invitations on burgundy scrapbooking paper stamped with a field of poppies, and told each person why I wanted him or her there. I warned that there would be nudity.

Getting labour started: tips for a natural induction

When your baby?s due date comes and goes without so much as a pop - let alone a bang - it can be disheartening. Mums and a doula share their stories of natural inductions.

7 mistakes old hands make with new babies

As I sat across the table from my friend ? me, a seasoned mother of three; her, a brand new mum ? I thought of all the mistakes an old-hand parent can make when visiting a newborn baby.

That's my boy: a dad's diary of the first 4 months

Unbearable anxiety, unspeakable joy, constant exhaustion and bouts of frustration ... The many shocks of first-time fatherhood resound in a dad's diary of his son's early months.

One of the most important things a new mum can do

Finances may not be as cute as a newborn, but with many women?s working arrangements changing post-baby, monetary matters need attention too.

In defence of the bumpie

Are bumpies really "exhibitionism of the weirdest kind", as one writer has claimed?

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

 

My Wellbeing

Making time for me

We look at your wellbeing, covering health, relationships, beauty and fashion, mind and body.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.