Jump to content
3rd baby the hardest
14 replies to this topic
Posted 19 February 2013 - 10:59 PM
Posted here for traffic...and apart from that I have so many issues I wouldn't know which section to post into!! Sleeping, feeding, babies, venting?
DD3 will be 9 months old in a couple of days. She eats NOTHING as far as solids go. I offer her everything from purees to chunky food, pieces of fruit and veggies, toast, bread, cheese - I have tried everything. She smacks the spoon out of my hand and refuses to open her mouth. She turns her head away. She is definitely not interested in food right now. This has been going on for about a month.
She is exclusively breast fed.
She is in the bottom 5% as far as weight goes. She has just hit 7kg...at 9 months old. She can't afford to not eat!
She doesn't sleep well at night. From the time I put her to bed at 7:30pm throughout the night until the time she wakes at about 6:30am, she wakes about 6 times...I feed her every time she wakes. These wake times might be 8:30pm, 10pm, 1am, 4am etc....I've tried leaving her to cry or comforting her ways other than feeding. My DH has tried settling her. It's traumatic for everyone. Breast feeding works instantly so for the good of the family, I do it.
She has recently has her first tooth pop through. Perhaps there's another one coming? She has a cold at the moment. I could understand not eating whilst teething - but for a whole MONTH!?
I wake up in the morning and I can't even walk in a straight line, I'm that tired. I come good though, by mid morning. But I'm getting colds, bad skin break outs, head aches etc.
So I'm worried about her. I'm worried that because she's not eating, she will become malnourished. I'm worried that she WILL starve herself, despite what everyone says - "baby's won't starve themselves". I'm worried that the non-eating is leading to the non-sleeping. I'm worried that she's teething or in pain, which prevents me from leaving her to cry it out during those night wakes.
I'm not even sure what I'm posting for...but hoping that someone has something magical to say that will be the light at the end of the tunnel.
It's late. I'm tired and a bit delirious!!!
Posted 19 February 2013 - 11:15 PM
OP, big hugs - you sound like you are doing an amazing job, and are just about at the end if your tether. Can you try having something like Sustogen which may just help with getting something nourishing into you and hopefully into baby too.
Was your little one eating earlier?
Perhaps try Bonjela or something on her gums, maybe an hour or so before a meal, just in case her teeth are bugging her.
Also, perhaps just strip her down to a nappy and pop her on the floor or a high chair with a bowl of something like yoghurt and let her put her hands in it and so on. Maybe after feeling it, she may be inclined to lick and accept?
Do you have any family or close friends wh could watch her for a few hours while you get some sleep?
Lastly, I'm not sure if you have or want to contemplate a move to formula (or indeed, if part of the issue is that your LO doesn't want any part of bottles or formula) but it may be a way of getting a bit more into her?
Good luck sweetie, hope you find some answers.
Posted 19 February 2013 - 11:23 PM
It's bloody hard work isn't it. And unless you have had a child like this you really can not understand how emotionally draining it is.
My DS was absolute hell from age 7 months to 10 months. He woke hourly, wouldn't drink milk, 20 or 30ml at a time,(at that stage had just switched to formula. He had was still trying out solids but was really not in to it. I was working full time, he was at family day care 3 days, nannys 1 day and home With me 1 day .i cried every god damn day. I felt like crap. Like you we had tried everything. Nothing ever worked, maybe for one night but that was it.
One week on my day off a friend dropped over, I had only just got him to sleep mid morn and laid down and she woke us both up. I totally lost the plot. Cried and cried. My friend took my son with her and said she would bring him back in a few hrs, and I was to try and get some sleep. First thing I did was ring the dr and make an appoint that afternoon. Then I went to bed!
Anyway to shorten a long story up, I went and saw out GP who checked DS out completely and could find nothing wrong. He gave me the reassurance that I should do whatever i needed through to get some sleep so if that meant feeding him, or sleeping with him then whatever works. I won't last and you will forget about it completely but know there is a light at eh end of the tunnel. Maybe start off with a GP visit to check our out is a good start?
Posted 19 February 2013 - 11:25 PM
Sorry to hear you're having a hard time. I would also suggest formula as well, seems she is hungry and you've tried food so why not formula? Might fill her belly up so she sleeps longer and I'm sure she will show an interest in food soon!
Posted 20 February 2013 - 12:11 AM
I think this s really normal at this age. Both of mine have been unsettled at this age (my son is nearly 6 months and has just started waking all the time)
Personally I believe 'food before one, is just for fun' and would just offer more feeds in the day, in the hope that the extra calories would reduce night feeds.
If you do choose to give a bottle, Id get your partner to give it in the evening, so you can go to bed and get a decent stretch of sleep.
For us it was only a matter of time, nothing we did made any difference (my DD was mixed fed, and the bottles made zero difference)
Posted 20 February 2013 - 06:10 AM
My DD1 was like that. She didn't eat solids until 15 months, and was 7kgs at 12 months. She didn't sleep through until she was 4, and that was only after we started seeing a sleep paed. It was HARD.
Looking back now (she is 6) I can see that she had an oral sensory issue. We saw a paed, feeding specialist, and they were all puzzled. Then she just slowly started eating from 15 months. She also wouldn't have a bottle, so no formula. It was breast or nothing.
It was HARD. I was a zombie. Still up 6 times a night with a 12 month old.
It might just be a matter of time, easy to say now, I know. Sometimes there is nothing you can do. Do what you can to make sure there are no issues that can be addressed, paed, GP, whatever needed.
DD2 was nothing like that, well, she didn't sleep, but she loves her food.
Posted 20 February 2013 - 01:55 PM
OP, I would recommend visiting your local baby clinic & they may offer advice or they may refer you elsewhere (tresillian?). First thing that popped to my mind is bub is not eating during the day but making up for it at night with all the milk feeds. That needs addressing first. Good luck, babies ARE hard work no matter what they try to tell you differently.
Posted 20 February 2013 - 02:03 PM
Another thing to consider, is one of my children refused food and would not eat.
Months of stress, only to find out later they actually had problem with certain foods.
It could be something simple but if it continues I would also consider allergies, food intolerance also makes for a fussy crying baby.
Posted 20 February 2013 - 02:09 PM
Ds is a bit like that, he's 15 mths, he really wasn't interested in solids til around 12 months and now he's just had a nasty headcold and cut 2 molars and he's back to not wanting to eat again. He is quite lean so I do worry about the eating but he is also usually very happy and reaching milestones, I think he's just different to some of my others who gobbled down everything in sight. He's still breastfed because it's the one thing I know he will have. We co-sleep thankfully so I don't have to get up to him all night, because especially with being sick and teething he's been feeding 6 or more times through the night. I am so tired. No real advice, it's hard and I feel for you. I have been using womens and children teething paint and that has helped us a lot.
Posted 20 February 2013 - 03:44 PM
How many breastfeeds does she have in the day? Can you give her more in the day time? How about backing off on the solids for a little while? My firstborn was very reluctant with solids, though not as reluctant as your DD. From the time I cut down on BF and introduced solids at 6 months up until 18 months of age he only gained less than 1kg. Luckily, he was chubby at 6 months (9.5kg!) so he never ended up underweight.
Now he is 8yo and is still an incredibly fussy eater, so he obviously has some kind of issue. But he gets by.
What does your MCHN and GP say? Has your GP suggested a paediatrician?
Can you nap in the day when she has a nap? You sound exhausted.
Posted 20 February 2013 - 03:52 PM
I know it's not everyones cup of tea but after having DS who would only sleep for a couple of hours at a time I didn't have the patience with number 2 (I think I would struggle big time with three). I let DS sleep in bed with me and it meant that we both got sleep. She would still wake up but I could just pat her back to sleep. I would do it again if I had another. Now she is 2.5 and is sleeping in her brothers room and starting to sleep through the night. It hasn't been a long drawn out experience like it was with DS.
Posted 20 February 2013 - 03:57 PM
My son did that, and it turned out he was allergic to cow's milk protein. it presented as severe constipation, and he was backed up right to his stomach, (eww!) so he couldn't actually eat anything. I didn't realise because he was still passing small amounts frequently.
Once we sorted it out he slowly stated eating and resumed weight gain, albeit slowly. Only now at 3 has he reached the 50th percentile for height. I am ecstatic that he's recovered - I was worried it would affect his size for life.
Probably not the same issue as you, but take hope in the fact that they she can recover from the small size issue.
Posted 20 February 2013 - 04:48 PM
I had two who had zero interest in solids until 11-12m. Funnily enough they are my best eaters. My 6mo take to solids like a duck is the super fussy eater who won't tough fruit, veggies or meat... Still at 7yrs.
Seek help over the sleep and see MCHN GP if you are concerned about weight.
Posted 20 February 2013 - 05:57 PM
I'm another that suggests considering food intolerances/allergies. My experience and that of a number of friends is that babies that have trouble sleeping or broken sleep have some sort of food intolerances/allergies. Our combined experiences have been that most doctors don't believe this to be the case and were of little assistance....
Dairy, gluten, soy and to a lesser extent corn are common culprits.
Good luck with your journey to find out what's causing your little ones disrupted sleep.
Posted 20 February 2013 - 07:08 PM
Tresillian residential work on complex sleeping/feeding issues. You see a paed as part of this.
0 user(s) are reading this topic
0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users
Three-year-old boy Roo likes to wear tutus and, until now, it hasn't been a problem.
CHILDREN as young as three are being enrolled in "chief executive courses" in China as pushy parents become obsessed with giving their offspring an advantage over their young peers.
Pinky Mckay joins us again at the Essential Baby & Toddler Show presented by Blackmores with her expert baby settling advice. Register now for your free ticket.
"And just in my head, I'm a father myself, and I couldn't sit there and let him ... I couldn't let him sit in that."
An Olympian has sold his medal to help fund cancer treatment for a 3-year-old boy.
From the outside it looked like Allison Goldstein was blissfully happy. She had a new baby, a loving husband, and was part of a close knit-family.
Pre-book & Save 50%. Get your tickets now for Kidtopia Festival. 7-9 October 2016 Parramatta Park, Sydney.
Ducking to the shops for some groceries is a whole other ballgame once you have a baby.
While our second baby was very much wanted, I wondered if I could love another baby as much as I loved my first.
It's a heartbreaking video that's difficult to watch, but that's just what Sydney mum of two Sandra wants people to do.
A new generation of mums is resisting the pressure to be "perfect" - and revelling in their naughty side?
It can be frustrating, worrying, and turn into a battle of wills - but it doesn't have to be like that
Despite being a dog owner and a parent, I've never been able to relate to the idea that the two have many similarities – until now.
When photographer mum Laura Izumikawa puts her baby daughter down to sleep, the last thing on her mind is rest.
Needless to say, the last thing any mum wants is for someone to loudly knock on the door and wake their sleeping cherub.
A new mum has shared photos of her caesarean section scar to prove she did not "take the easy way out" when giving birth to her son.
Leanne went into labour on July 28, and remarkably, her twin sister Natalie soon followed.
Toddlers just love to ride on anything with wheels but will often reject the pram once they can walk.
It's time to start prioritising our own health, as well as the health of our children, to avoid longer lasting health challenges.
A guide to making your home a safer place for little ones.
The drowning of a Hobart toddler has prompted a coroner to remind the community that even inflatable and portable pools must be fenced.
"Nothing stops the clinginess - he cries when I put him down, no matter how long I hold him."
A 23-year-old mother is suing her GP and the public health system for thousands of dollars to support her son after her termination went wrong.
Top 5 Articles
"I often have strangers coming over to me when I'm out asking bluntly what's wrong with my leg. I often just laugh now and tell them I've been attacked by a shark and walk off, it definitely stumps people."
They feared they would never get to be parents, but a same sex couple is now adjusting to life with newborn triplets.
Here are the the pros and cons of giving antibiotics to young babies.
The birth of a baby is always a special occasion, but one couple who welcomed their first child earlier this week had more reason to celebrate than most.
Show and tell has been around for donkey's years. Well, at least since I was a kid, and according to my own children, I'm pretty old.
A baby was rescued from a house fire after her family's loyal dog used his body to shield the little girl from the flames.
What to expect when living with an older baby or toddler - and how to manage the chaos.
I tried to prove to my single friends that I was the same I'd always been. But marriage did change me - and motherhood has, too
A mum was ushered out of an US department store's underwear section after discreetly breastfeeding her baby.
Bethanie Millar didn't believe in miracles - until baby Evelie was born, that is.
It was a simple act of kindness, but one that made an exhausted mother's day.
When a couple is trying to conceive it is easy for a woman to become obsessed about when she ovulates.
When Bri Dow learnt that she was expecting, she immediately knew she wanted to break the news to her husband Brandon in a special way.
Like all one-year-olds, Evelyn Moore is keen to get moving and explore the world around her. But a battle with aggressive cancer left the little girl paralysed from the waist down.
There's something about motherhood that turns even the most reluctant photographer into a keen shutterbug as they strive to capture all the best moments of life with a baby.
It's the poop story that's been shared hundreds of thousands of times around the world.
A recent long commute for a job reminded me there are some potential positives to the experience.
SYDNEY SHOW - 23-25 Sept
The Essential Baby & Toddler Show, presented by Blackmores, will be held in Sydney on 23-25 September. Register for your free ticket now to save $20!