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3rd baby the hardest
14 replies to this topic
Posted 19 February 2013 - 10:59 PM
Posted here for traffic...and apart from that I have so many issues I wouldn't know which section to post into!! Sleeping, feeding, babies, venting?
DD3 will be 9 months old in a couple of days. She eats NOTHING as far as solids go. I offer her everything from purees to chunky food, pieces of fruit and veggies, toast, bread, cheese - I have tried everything. She smacks the spoon out of my hand and refuses to open her mouth. She turns her head away. She is definitely not interested in food right now. This has been going on for about a month.
She is exclusively breast fed.
She is in the bottom 5% as far as weight goes. She has just hit 7kg...at 9 months old. She can't afford to not eat!
She doesn't sleep well at night. From the time I put her to bed at 7:30pm throughout the night until the time she wakes at about 6:30am, she wakes about 6 times...I feed her every time she wakes. These wake times might be 8:30pm, 10pm, 1am, 4am etc....I've tried leaving her to cry or comforting her ways other than feeding. My DH has tried settling her. It's traumatic for everyone. Breast feeding works instantly so for the good of the family, I do it.
She has recently has her first tooth pop through. Perhaps there's another one coming? She has a cold at the moment. I could understand not eating whilst teething - but for a whole MONTH!?
I wake up in the morning and I can't even walk in a straight line, I'm that tired. I come good though, by mid morning. But I'm getting colds, bad skin break outs, head aches etc.
So I'm worried about her. I'm worried that because she's not eating, she will become malnourished. I'm worried that she WILL starve herself, despite what everyone says - "baby's won't starve themselves". I'm worried that the non-eating is leading to the non-sleeping. I'm worried that she's teething or in pain, which prevents me from leaving her to cry it out during those night wakes.
I'm not even sure what I'm posting for...but hoping that someone has something magical to say that will be the light at the end of the tunnel.
It's late. I'm tired and a bit delirious!!!
Posted 19 February 2013 - 11:15 PM
OP, big hugs - you sound like you are doing an amazing job, and are just about at the end if your tether. Can you try having something like Sustogen which may just help with getting something nourishing into you and hopefully into baby too.
Was your little one eating earlier?
Perhaps try Bonjela or something on her gums, maybe an hour or so before a meal, just in case her teeth are bugging her.
Also, perhaps just strip her down to a nappy and pop her on the floor or a high chair with a bowl of something like yoghurt and let her put her hands in it and so on. Maybe after feeling it, she may be inclined to lick and accept?
Do you have any family or close friends wh could watch her for a few hours while you get some sleep?
Lastly, I'm not sure if you have or want to contemplate a move to formula (or indeed, if part of the issue is that your LO doesn't want any part of bottles or formula) but it may be a way of getting a bit more into her?
Good luck sweetie, hope you find some answers.
Posted 19 February 2013 - 11:23 PM
It's bloody hard work isn't it. And unless you have had a child like this you really can not understand how emotionally draining it is.
My DS was absolute hell from age 7 months to 10 months. He woke hourly, wouldn't drink milk, 20 or 30ml at a time,(at that stage had just switched to formula. He had was still trying out solids but was really not in to it. I was working full time, he was at family day care 3 days, nannys 1 day and home With me 1 day .i cried every god damn day. I felt like crap. Like you we had tried everything. Nothing ever worked, maybe for one night but that was it.
One week on my day off a friend dropped over, I had only just got him to sleep mid morn and laid down and she woke us both up. I totally lost the plot. Cried and cried. My friend took my son with her and said she would bring him back in a few hrs, and I was to try and get some sleep. First thing I did was ring the dr and make an appoint that afternoon. Then I went to bed!
Anyway to shorten a long story up, I went and saw out GP who checked DS out completely and could find nothing wrong. He gave me the reassurance that I should do whatever i needed through to get some sleep so if that meant feeding him, or sleeping with him then whatever works. I won't last and you will forget about it completely but know there is a light at eh end of the tunnel. Maybe start off with a GP visit to check our out is a good start?
Posted 19 February 2013 - 11:25 PM
Sorry to hear you're having a hard time. I would also suggest formula as well, seems she is hungry and you've tried food so why not formula? Might fill her belly up so she sleeps longer and I'm sure she will show an interest in food soon!
Posted 20 February 2013 - 12:11 AM
I think this s really normal at this age. Both of mine have been unsettled at this age (my son is nearly 6 months and has just started waking all the time)
Personally I believe 'food before one, is just for fun' and would just offer more feeds in the day, in the hope that the extra calories would reduce night feeds.
If you do choose to give a bottle, Id get your partner to give it in the evening, so you can go to bed and get a decent stretch of sleep.
For us it was only a matter of time, nothing we did made any difference (my DD was mixed fed, and the bottles made zero difference)
Posted 20 February 2013 - 06:10 AM
My DD1 was like that. She didn't eat solids until 15 months, and was 7kgs at 12 months. She didn't sleep through until she was 4, and that was only after we started seeing a sleep paed. It was HARD.
Looking back now (she is 6) I can see that she had an oral sensory issue. We saw a paed, feeding specialist, and they were all puzzled. Then she just slowly started eating from 15 months. She also wouldn't have a bottle, so no formula. It was breast or nothing.
It was HARD. I was a zombie. Still up 6 times a night with a 12 month old.
It might just be a matter of time, easy to say now, I know. Sometimes there is nothing you can do. Do what you can to make sure there are no issues that can be addressed, paed, GP, whatever needed.
DD2 was nothing like that, well, she didn't sleep, but she loves her food.
Posted 20 February 2013 - 01:55 PM
OP, I would recommend visiting your local baby clinic & they may offer advice or they may refer you elsewhere (tresillian?). First thing that popped to my mind is bub is not eating during the day but making up for it at night with all the milk feeds. That needs addressing first. Good luck, babies ARE hard work no matter what they try to tell you differently.
Posted 20 February 2013 - 02:03 PM
Another thing to consider, is one of my children refused food and would not eat.
Months of stress, only to find out later they actually had problem with certain foods.
It could be something simple but if it continues I would also consider allergies, food intolerance also makes for a fussy crying baby.
Posted 20 February 2013 - 02:09 PM
Ds is a bit like that, he's 15 mths, he really wasn't interested in solids til around 12 months and now he's just had a nasty headcold and cut 2 molars and he's back to not wanting to eat again. He is quite lean so I do worry about the eating but he is also usually very happy and reaching milestones, I think he's just different to some of my others who gobbled down everything in sight. He's still breastfed because it's the one thing I know he will have. We co-sleep thankfully so I don't have to get up to him all night, because especially with being sick and teething he's been feeding 6 or more times through the night. I am so tired. No real advice, it's hard and I feel for you. I have been using womens and children teething paint and that has helped us a lot.
Posted 20 February 2013 - 03:44 PM
How many breastfeeds does she have in the day? Can you give her more in the day time? How about backing off on the solids for a little while? My firstborn was very reluctant with solids, though not as reluctant as your DD. From the time I cut down on BF and introduced solids at 6 months up until 18 months of age he only gained less than 1kg. Luckily, he was chubby at 6 months (9.5kg!) so he never ended up underweight.
Now he is 8yo and is still an incredibly fussy eater, so he obviously has some kind of issue. But he gets by.
What does your MCHN and GP say? Has your GP suggested a paediatrician?
Can you nap in the day when she has a nap? You sound exhausted.
Posted 20 February 2013 - 03:52 PM
I know it's not everyones cup of tea but after having DS who would only sleep for a couple of hours at a time I didn't have the patience with number 2 (I think I would struggle big time with three). I let DS sleep in bed with me and it meant that we both got sleep. She would still wake up but I could just pat her back to sleep. I would do it again if I had another. Now she is 2.5 and is sleeping in her brothers room and starting to sleep through the night. It hasn't been a long drawn out experience like it was with DS.
Posted 20 February 2013 - 03:57 PM
My son did that, and it turned out he was allergic to cow's milk protein. it presented as severe constipation, and he was backed up right to his stomach, (eww!) so he couldn't actually eat anything. I didn't realise because he was still passing small amounts frequently.
Once we sorted it out he slowly stated eating and resumed weight gain, albeit slowly. Only now at 3 has he reached the 50th percentile for height. I am ecstatic that he's recovered - I was worried it would affect his size for life.
Probably not the same issue as you, but take hope in the fact that they she can recover from the small size issue.
Posted 20 February 2013 - 04:48 PM
I had two who had zero interest in solids until 11-12m. Funnily enough they are my best eaters. My 6mo take to solids like a duck is the super fussy eater who won't tough fruit, veggies or meat... Still at 7yrs.
Seek help over the sleep and see MCHN GP if you are concerned about weight.
Posted 20 February 2013 - 05:57 PM
I'm another that suggests considering food intolerances/allergies. My experience and that of a number of friends is that babies that have trouble sleeping or broken sleep have some sort of food intolerances/allergies. Our combined experiences have been that most doctors don't believe this to be the case and were of little assistance....
Dairy, gluten, soy and to a lesser extent corn are common culprits.
Good luck with your journey to find out what's causing your little ones disrupted sleep.
Posted 20 February 2013 - 07:08 PM
Tresillian residential work on complex sleeping/feeding issues. You see a paed as part of this.
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