Jump to content

3rd baby the hardest

  • Please log in to reply
14 replies to this topic

#1 Funwith3

Posted 19 February 2013 - 10:59 PM

Posted here for traffic...and apart from that I have so many issues I wouldn't know which section to post into!! Sleeping, feeding, babies, venting?

DD3 will be 9 months old in a couple of days. She eats NOTHING as far as solids go. I offer her everything from purees to chunky food, pieces of fruit and veggies, toast, bread, cheese - I have tried everything. She smacks the spoon out of my hand and refuses to open her mouth. She turns her head away. She is definitely not interested in food right now. This has been going on for about a month.

She is exclusively breast fed.

She is in the bottom 5% as far as weight goes. She has just hit 7kg...at 9 months old. She can't afford to not eat!  sad.gif

She doesn't sleep well at night. From the time I put her to bed at 7:30pm throughout the night until the time she wakes at about 6:30am, she wakes about 6 times...I feed her every time she wakes. These wake times might be 8:30pm, 10pm, 1am, 4am etc....I've tried leaving her to cry or comforting her ways other than feeding. My DH has tried settling her. It's traumatic for everyone. Breast feeding works instantly so for the good of the family, I do it.

She has recently has her first tooth pop through. Perhaps there's another one coming? She has a cold at the moment. I could understand not eating whilst teething - but for a whole MONTH!?

I wake up in the morning and I can't even walk in a straight line, I'm that tired. I come good though, by mid morning. But I'm getting colds, bad skin break outs, head aches etc.

So I'm worried about her. I'm worried that because she's not eating, she will become malnourished. I'm worried that she WILL starve herself, despite what everyone says - "baby's won't starve themselves". I'm worried that the non-eating is leading to the non-sleeping. I'm worried that she's teething or in pain, which prevents me from leaving her to cry it out during those night wakes.

I'm not even sure what I'm posting for...but hoping that someone has something magical to say that will be the light at the end of the tunnel. mellow.gif

It's late. I'm tired and a bit delirious!!!  wacko.gif

#2 LovenFire

Posted 19 February 2013 - 11:15 PM

OP, big hugs - you sound like you are doing an amazing job, and are just about at the end if your tether.  Can you try having something like Sustogen which may just help with getting something nourishing into you and hopefully into baby too.

Was your little one eating earlier?  

Perhaps try Bonjela or something on her gums, maybe an hour or so before a meal, just in case her teeth are bugging her.

Also, perhaps just strip her down to a nappy and pop her on the floor or a high chair with a bowl of something like yoghurt and let her put her hands in it and so on.  Maybe after feeling it, she may be inclined to lick and accept?

Do you have any family or close friends wh could watch her for a few hours while you get some sleep?

Lastly, I'm not sure if you have or want to contemplate a move to formula (or indeed, if part of the issue is that your LO doesn't want any part of bottles or formula) but it may be a way of getting a bit more into her?  

Good luck sweetie, hope you find some answers.

#3 *Finn*

Posted 19 February 2013 - 11:23 PM

It's bloody hard work isn't it. And unless you have had a child like this you really can not understand how emotionally draining it is.
My DS was absolute hell from age 7 months to 10 months. He woke hourly, wouldn't drink milk, 20 or 30ml at a time,(at that stage had just switched to formula. He had was still trying out solids but was really not in to it. I was working full time, he was at family day care 3 days, nannys 1 day and home With me 1 day .i cried every god damn day. I felt like crap. Like you we had tried everything. Nothing ever worked, maybe for one night but that was it.

One week on my day off  a friend dropped over, I had only just got him to sleep mid morn and laid down and she woke us both up. I totally lost the plot. Cried and cried. My friend took my son with her and said she would bring him back in a few hrs, and I was to try and get some sleep. First thing I did was ring the dr and make an appoint that afternoon. Then I went to bed!

Anyway to shorten a long story up, I went and saw out GP who checked DS out completely and could find nothing wrong. He gave me the reassurance that I should do whatever i needed through to get some sleep so if that meant feeding him, or sleeping with him then whatever works. I won't last and you will forget about it completely but know there is a light at eh end of the tunnel. Maybe start off with a GP visit to check our out is a good start?


#4 SilverSky

Posted 19 February 2013 - 11:25 PM

Sorry to hear you're having a hard time. I would also suggest formula as well, seems she is hungry and you've tried food so why not formula? Might fill her belly up so she sleeps longer and I'm sure she will show an interest in food soon!

#5 IShallWearMidnight

Posted 20 February 2013 - 12:11 AM

I think this s really normal at this age. Both of mine have been unsettled at this age (my son is nearly 6 months and has just started waking all the time)
Personally I believe 'food before one, is just for fun' and would just offer more feeds in the day, in the hope that the extra calories would reduce night feeds.
If you do choose to give a bottle, Id get your partner to give it in the evening, so you can go to bed and get a decent stretch of sleep.
For us it was only a matter of time, nothing we did made any difference (my DD was mixed fed, and the bottles made zero difference)

#6 ourlittlegirls

Posted 20 February 2013 - 06:10 AM

My DD1 was like that. She didn't eat solids until 15 months, and was 7kgs at 12 months. She didn't sleep through until she was 4, and that was only after we started seeing a sleep paed. It was HARD.

Looking back now (she is 6) I can see that she had an oral sensory issue. We saw a paed, feeding specialist, and they were all puzzled. Then she just slowly started eating from 15 months. She also wouldn't have a bottle, so no formula. It was breast or nothing.

It was HARD. I was a zombie. Still up 6 times a night with a 12 month old.

It might just be a matter of time, easy to say now, I know. Sometimes there is nothing you can do. Do what you can to make sure there are no issues that can be addressed, paed, GP, whatever needed.

DD2 was nothing like that, well, she didn't sleep, but she loves her food.

#7 sophiasmum

Posted 20 February 2013 - 01:55 PM

OP, I would recommend visiting your local baby clinic & they may offer advice or they may refer you elsewhere (tresillian?). First thing that popped to my mind is bub is not eating during the day but making up for it at night with all the milk feeds. That needs addressing first. Good luck, babies ARE hard work no matter what they try to tell you differently.

#8 jewel2

Posted 20 February 2013 - 02:03 PM

Another thing to consider, is one of my children refused food and would not eat.
Months of stress, only to find out later they actually had problem with certain foods.

It could be something simple but if it continues I would also consider allergies, food intolerance also makes for a fussy crying baby.


#9 FeralLIfeHacker

Posted 20 February 2013 - 02:09 PM

Ds is a bit like that, he's 15 mths, he really wasn't interested in solids til around 12 months and now he's just had a nasty headcold and cut 2 molars and he's back to not wanting to eat again. He is quite lean so I do worry about the eating but he is also usually very happy and reaching milestones, I think he's just different to some of my others who gobbled down everything in sight. He's still breastfed because it's the one thing I know he will have.  We co-sleep thankfully so I don't have to get up to him all night, because especially with being sick and teething he's been feeding 6 or more times through the night. I am so tired.    No real advice, it's hard and I feel for you.  I have been using womens and children teething paint and that has helped us a lot.

#10 ednaboo

Posted 20 February 2013 - 03:44 PM

How many breastfeeds does she have in the day?  Can you give her more in the day time?  How about backing off on the solids for a little while?  My firstborn was very reluctant with solids, though not as reluctant as your DD.  From the time I cut down on BF and introduced solids at 6 months up until 18 months of age he only gained less than 1kg.  Luckily, he was chubby at 6 months (9.5kg!) so he never ended up underweight.

Now he is 8yo and is still an incredibly fussy eater, so he obviously has some kind of issue.  But he gets by.

What does your MCHN and GP say?  Has your GP suggested a paediatrician?

Can you nap in the day when she has a nap?  You sound exhausted.

#11 soapy

Posted 20 February 2013 - 03:52 PM

I know it's not everyones cup of tea but after having DS who would only sleep for a couple of hours at a time I didn't have the patience with number 2 (I think I would struggle big time with three). I let DS sleep in bed with me and it meant that we both got sleep. She would still wake up but I could just pat her back to sleep. I would do it again if I had another. Now she is 2.5 and is sleeping in her brothers room and starting to sleep through the night. It hasn't been a long drawn out experience like it was with DS.

#12 pruehp

Posted 20 February 2013 - 03:57 PM

My son did that, and it turned out he was allergic to cow's milk protein. it presented as severe constipation, and he was backed up right to his stomach, (eww!) so he couldn't actually eat anything. I didn't realise because he was still passing small amounts frequently.

Once we sorted it out he slowly stated eating and resumed weight gain, albeit slowly. Only now at 3 has he reached the 50th percentile for height. I am ecstatic that he's recovered - I was worried it would affect his size for life.

Probably not the same issue as you, but take hope in the fact that they she can recover from the small size issue.

#13 Isolabella

Posted 20 February 2013 - 04:48 PM

I had two who had zero interest in solids until 11-12m. Funnily enough they are my best eaters. My 6mo take to solids like a duck is the super fussy eater who won't tough fruit, veggies or meat... Still at 7yrs.

Seek help over the sleep and see MCHN GP if you are concerned about weight.

#14 75etd

Posted 20 February 2013 - 05:57 PM

I'm another that suggests considering food intolerances/allergies. My experience and that of a number of friends is that babies that have trouble sleeping or broken sleep have some sort of food intolerances/allergies. Our combined experiences have been that most  doctors don't believe this to be the case and were of little assistance....

Dairy, gluten, soy and to a lesser extent corn are common culprits.

Good luck with your journey to find out what's causing your little ones disrupted sleep.

#15 Feral-as-Meggs

Posted 20 February 2013 - 07:08 PM

Tresillian residential work on complex sleeping/feeding issues.   You see a paed as part of this.

1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users


Join the Real Mums Test Drive Team

Five new mums will join the Essential Baby Test Drive Team and discover great new baby toys from Fisher-Price & write a review to be published on Essential Baby.

Two children fall from second storey window

Two young boys have been rushed to hospital after falling out a second-storey window of a home in Eastwood.

Victorian Labor to introduce same-sex adoption laws

Thousands of same-sex couples with children will have the right to be jointly recognised as parents by Victorian law.

Sneak peek: Maxomorra bee dress, t-shirt and romper for babies

Cutest snap find on the planet - bee rompers, tees and dresses for babies.

Toddler found two days after going missing

A two-year-old girl who disappeared on Friday night from her great-grandparents' home in rural Ohio was found alive Sunday evening in a nearby field.

Dad builds the ultimate bed for his toddler son

The transition from cot to big kid bed might be a little easier if every toddler had a bed like this one.

Is Woolworths now cheaper than Coles?

Woolworths appears to have taken the upper hand in its price battle with Coles after investing millions of dollars lowering the cost of groceries, according to new figures.

Aussie babies and parents stranded in Nepal after surrogacy ban

Parents say Australian babies are being "kept captive" and cannot come home after a ban on commercial surrogacy in Nepal.

Wannabe dads left behind in IVF debate

If virgin women can become mothers through IVF, maybe we're ready for another miracle - genuine equality for men in the parenting debate.

The health and fitness lessons I've learned

What I once assumed about health and fitness is wrong.

Our angel baby story: Hunter James

I have two children: one living, the next an angel baby.

Newlyweds send bill to no-show guests

Planning a wedding can be stressful – and, as most newlyweds can attest, it can be very costly, too.

Your choice or theirs: the tug-of-war over baby names

They had just decided on a name they both agreed on, but then the grandparents threw in an offer of $10,000 in exchange for choosing something else.

Dad-to-be's tearful reaction to pregnancy news goes viral

After 17 years of trying, this man had given up hope of having a family.

Claire Danes: acting out postnatal depression was difficult

Actress Claire Danes found it difficult pretending to have postnatal depression in Homeland, as she had just become a new mother herself.

The moment a 92-year-old meets her great grandaughter

It's a heart-warming photo this family will treasure forever.

How to prepare for breastfeeding when you're still pregnant

While every woman's breastfeeding journey is different, many hurdles are shared. Knowing what to expect will enable you to make informed decisions if - or when - you meet challenges along the way.

Sneak peek: new Love Mae bamboo dinnerware designs

We do love ourselves some brand new designs in tried and true products. The renowned bamboo dinnerware from Love Mae has just had several more members join the family, in addition to a brand new website.

Mum who killed paedophile gets reduced sentence

A mother-of-five who killed a paedophile has had her jail sentence reduced by a judge who described her case as a "truly exceptional" one.

Sneak peek: Geleeo self-cooling pram & high chair liners

We just spotted Geleeo, a brand new self-cooling pram liner you can buy in time for summer.

Toddler's silent debate with mum about naptime

He might not utter a single word - but this toddler is having a great debate with his mother about nap time.


What's hot on EB

Stella McCartney honours mum with lacy bra

Fashion designer Stella McCartney has honoured her late mum, Linda McCartney, by designing a special bra for post-mastectomy patients.

Don't panic: A granddad midwife's guide for dads-to-be

Mark Harris has helped deliver 500 babies. And he's now telling fathers what to expect.

How to be a calm parent when you're feeling anything but

Being a calm parent takes a lot of work, sometimes more than is obvious to those around us.

The joy and isolation of being a stay-at-home dad

It's cool, kind of like a second childhood. I love him to bits and think, on average, I'm an okay dad. But I also want to talk about the other stuff.

How baby Teddy's short life is helping save thousands of lives

He may have only lived for 100 minutes, but that didn't stop baby Teddy from saving the lives of others.

A heartbreaking trail of missed chances in death of baby forgotten in car

A haunting reminder to stay mindful about babies in cars, especially as we approach summer.

What to do if your baby has tongue-tie

Tongue-tie can cause feeding problems. However once it is diagnosed, the condition can be easily treated.

How to move house without losing your mind

Some people move frequently, while others like to stay put. But everyone finds it stressful.

'She had nowhere to go': how new mum's life began to unravel

The birth of her first child should have been happiest of times for Campsie mother Phuong Cao, but friends say it marked the beginning of when her life began to unravel. 

Women giving birth to a son keep some of his Y chromosomes

It was an experiment doomed to failure - they were looking for male cells in female bodies. And their search was stunningly successful.

Photos: How babies fit in the womb

A gorgeous photo series shows babies in the first hours after their birth - as they were positioned in the womb.

Baby tries to persuade stubborn bulldog to walk, fails

We don't know what he's saying, but this baby has a very clear message for his bulldog pal: let's walk - NOW.

The best toddler gift ever? Nine gender-neutral play kitchen picks

Without a doubt, one of the best gifts for a toddler turning two or three is a play kitchen.

9 easy steps to improve your baby photography

With a few simple tips you can take your images from random happy snaps to lovely clean images that create beautiful lasting memories.



Can't decide?

Check out the Essential Baby Names section for some inspiration

Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.