Jump to content

I know there's no good time but...
Baby vs New Job


  • Please log in to reply
18 replies to this topic

#1 k-lo

Posted 19 February 2013 - 07:45 PM

So we've just started TTC this year - I'm just in my first TWW so very early days.

A few weeks ago an opportunity came up at work for a new job at work; interesting sounding work and a bit of a sideways step but maybe will mean more in the future. So I applied and I have a second interview on Friday.

I'm just feeling stressed about the timing. If I conceive straight away, I'll be off on mat leave within the year and I'd feel awful. I know it could take months (or longer) to conceive, AND I might not even get the job, but I'm just wondering what everyone thinks.

If I get a BFP on this cycle; do you think I should disclose it straight away or withdraw my application? Or just continue on and see what happens???



#2 KACM

Posted 19 February 2013 - 07:52 PM

I would continue at this point. If you're offered the job after a BFP, you can discuss it with the relevant person then. They may well appreciate your honesty (then again they may not). Don't deny yourself an opportunity when, as you say, it may take many months to conceive.

Having said that though - good luck with your TWW!!!

#3 Duck-o-lah

Posted 19 February 2013 - 07:52 PM

If it sounds really interesting I'd go for it! It would be too bad if you didn't even apply and it took you a while to conceive.

I applied for a new job after over a year ttc, suprise suprise I found out I was pg the day I started. They have been very supportive.

As for disclosing the news, I think that's something you can approach at the time.

Good luck on both fronts!

#4 seaside_feral

Posted 19 February 2013 - 08:01 PM

I think the best thing is to continue living your life while TTC, you don't know how long it might take (hopefully not long for your sake!) but I think the whole experience will be less stressful if you don't out your life on hold while trying. Good luck OP!

#5 libbylu

Posted 19 February 2013 - 08:07 PM

After suffering a miscarriage at 7 weeks and learning that one in four pregnancies end in miscarriage, I am against disclosing a pregnancy to ones employer before 12 weeks.  As far as I am concerned you are only semi-pregnant before that point and it makes sense to only share the news with your nearest and dearest.
Also, it takes the average fertile couple 7 months to conceive, so I wouldn't use up too much time worrying about it if I were you.

#6 busy&happy

Posted 19 February 2013 - 08:10 PM

A couple of years ago I applied for a job (which I was successful) and had been trying to conceive. Little did I know that I was just pregnant. As I didn't start the position for several weeks this coincided with me more or less finding out I was pregnant. I felt a little guilty but started the job anyway because you don't know what could happen. When I was over 12 weeks I informed my employer. My advice is live your life and worry about the what if's when they happen.

Edited by busy&happy, 19 February 2013 - 08:12 PM.


#7 Queen Yoda

Posted 19 February 2013 - 08:58 PM

QUOTE (KACMum @ 19/02/2013, 07:52 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I would continue at this point. If you're offered the job after a BFP, you can discuss it with the relevant person then. They may well appreciate your honesty (then again they may not). Don't deny yourself an opportunity when, as you say, it may take many months to conceive.

Having said that though - good luck with your TWW!!!

agree with this. Life happens when it does.  Just go with it and see what happens.  No need to script your life before it happens.

#8 katiebear26

Posted 19 February 2013 - 09:08 PM

OP i interview a lot of people through my job and i have to say that i would love to knoe if my preferred candidate was in early pregnancy stages when i was appointing her...

BUT -

if you do tell them you run the risk of them choosing someone else. if you are PG, and if the job is in the same company then you would i assume have spent enough time there by the time you were due to be eligible for unpaid mat leave, or paid leave if they offer it. therefore TBH i wouldn't tell them until you normally would - e.g. 12 weeks - then they have to deal with replacing you but at least you know there was no discrimination.

as much as i would like to think everyone would be good and not discriminate, a lot of people still do.

if you know the hiring manager really well and trust them then you can be honest that you are TTC, maybe leave it at that. then it's not a huge shock when it does happen (fingers crossed for you!!)  but you feel safe doing so.

#9 Musk Sticks

Posted 19 February 2013 - 09:10 PM

I left my job to move when I married DH.
I was hesitant to find work initially because I would have felt bad if I conceived just after starting the job.
So, I didn't work for the first year of our marriage.
I was lucky enough to find my almost dream job and was fortunate enough to conceive DS after a little more than 2 years of TTC.

So, I would say hope for the best, but don't pass up opportunities because you 'might' be pregnant.

#10 k-lo

Posted 21 February 2013 - 07:06 AM

Thanks everyone for your kind words and advice. Its true, there are just too many 'what ifs' to worry at this point.
My employer has been very good to me, so I'd like to do the right thing by them, but I don't want to run around telling everyone my life plans so soon...


#11 leisamd

Posted 21 February 2013 - 07:14 AM

I applied for a promotion before I had kids, I got it and started just as I found out I was pregnant.  I didn't tell them until 16 weeks.  I'd previously miscarried so was wary of telling anyone.  They were surprised and a little annoyed at first (I was about the 5th person in the team to fall pregnant!  whoops...) but were supportive in the end.  

Not much they can do about it, it's one of those things that neither you nor the employer can predict.

#12 Gentrified

Posted 21 February 2013 - 07:19 AM

Go for both.

Your worry actually happened to me - I applied, accepted and started a new dream job and found out the day after I accepted it that I was pregnant!

I kept it a secret until 10 weeks (when I came clean because I had to take time off to go to the hospital to check out some bleeding). I don't believe you should tell earlier because it would jeopardise your chances and miscarriage rates are so high anyway.

My awesome employer was disappointed but understood that we didn't quite expect to fall pregnant so soon and that I was already pregnant unknowingly when I took the job so it was just weird timing.

My boss was really supportive and I enjoyed the best 8 months' work of my life before leaving to have my baby. It was totally worth it for me (I have way more confidence after finally having a job I loved) and for my company (my short-term presence contributed a lot to the company and got them through a tough spot between long-term employees).

My approach was to work really hard during the 8 months and try to 'thank' my boss for being so supportive by being a brilliant member of the team (of course when pregnancy got too much it was fine for me to step back). This approach helped eliminate any bad feelings from the company. It was obvious I was still valuable for the time that I was there.

Don't hesitate on either front - you just don't know whether the job or the baby will come first - and if they both come at the same time, it will work itself out anyway. :-)


PS - A few other employees were hired and quit again in the time that I was there, so if you can stay for at least 8 months, that's actually a lot more stable than a lot of people in the working world anyway.

#13 julzely

Posted 21 February 2013 - 07:21 AM

I've got a job interview on Monday at a new company and I'm currently 5 weeks pregnant.  I'm not going to stress unless I actually get the job, then I need to decided if I tell them when they offer me the job, or wait till 12 weeks.  Talk about bad timing, but this is a dream job for me. Sadly I won't be eligible for maternity leave with the new company which I would get if I stay with my current one.

#14 ~Winter~

Posted 21 February 2013 - 08:04 AM

I'm waiting to hear back about an interview within my current company. It's a good promotion and if I get it we will be waiting until close to a year in the position to ttc. I want to give it my all for the first year at least I need to get my health sorted first as well. I wouldn't tell the employer until you have reached 12 weeks

#15 AmberNut

Posted 21 February 2013 - 08:17 AM

I implore you NOT to do what I have done. I too had some choices to make regarding my career whilst TTC. I chose the conservative approach in not changing jobs because I just might go on maternity leave soon.
The result... my life has been on hold now for 5 years...
A very wise IVF counselor recently told me that TTC is something that you do along side life.
Based on my experience, I'd say go for it, if you happen to conceive then mores the better.
Good luck with your career and TTC!

#16 kpingitquiet

Posted 21 February 2013 - 08:55 AM

I wouldn't even worry about notifying them til 12wks+. Unless there is a physical component to the job that means pregnancy would be an issue? It's not their business.

#17 GenWhy

Posted 21 February 2013 - 09:51 AM

I wouldn't tell them. I told my employer when I was 8 weeks pregnant with my first because I was being placed in a different area. The result was that I got shifted to the most boring position possible with no hopes for advancement until I had my baby. I only got 6 weeks paid maternity leave and then 4 weeks of annual leave. When I was returning to work I applied for a different area and got it. Soon after I found out I was pregnant again (complete surprise). I held off telling my employer for 6 months. I was very lucky I didn't have a belly at all. I was promoted when I was 5 months preggers and that's something I guarantee wouldn't have happened if they knew I was pregnant at the time.

My boss was not at all impressed and actually tried to take the promotion off me. A few calls to the union sorted that out but it became an unpleasant place to work. I transferred to a better position when I came back from maternity leave around 12 weeks later and was specifically asked if I'd "completed my family" when I did the interview. I said yes and got the job. Unfortunately discrimination is still out there OP. I wouldn't jeopardize your chances by telling.

#18 Mumsyto2

Posted 21 February 2013 - 10:03 AM

QUOTE (katiebear26 @ 19/02/2013, 10:08 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
if you know the hiring manager really well and trust them then you can be honest that you are TTC, maybe leave it at that. then it's not a huge shock when it does happen (fingers crossed for you!!)  but you feel safe doing so.

I actually find this to be some of the weirdest advice I have ever read - no offence but it really is.
Who in their right mind would tell a prospective employer they are TTC??? The underlying thing at the core is that it is absolutley none of their business no matter how much you 'trust' them and it has absolutely nothing to do with whether you are the best candidate for the job in regards to legislation re hiring staff and discrimination.

#19 Bel Rowley

Posted 21 February 2013 - 10:57 AM

I would go for the job and not say anything to your employers until at least 12 weeks, if you happen to become pregnant. You are under no obligation to tell them, and I would hate for my chances of advancement to be jeopardised because of a pregnancy I deserved. If you become pregnant you cross that bridge when you come to it.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Tell us what you think

to WIN 1 of 2 $500 Coles/Myer gift cards

Dealing with a toddler's morning tantrums

Your schedule is not important to your two-year-old, and you cannot convince her otherwise. So what can you do?

Child in suitcase 'could have died eight years ago'

A child whose remains were dumped in a suitcase in the South Australian bush is believed to have been a girl aged between two-and-a-half to four.

MP breastfeeds baby during parliamentary session

An Argentinian mum and politician has caused a stir on social media after being filmed breastfeeding her baby.

My baby's first seizure

It was 1am on a cold winter's night when I woke suddenly to the screams of my 12-month-old son. Our lives were about to change forever.

Portable pools 'more dangerous than permanent ones'

Inflatable and portable children's pools may be required to be sold with compulsory fencing to prevent backyard drownings, with some experts even floating the idea of a ban.

Heartbreaking moment mum kisses her one-week-old goodbye

At 11.07am on April 2 this year, Sarah Marriott welcomed baby Sebastian into the world.

The amazing Tee Pee bed and kid-friendly Frankie Bunk bed

These kids' beds definitely fit the brief of providing personality and personal space for little people who are moving up in the world.

The funny things kids say when you're pregnant

Since becoming noticeably pregnant, my son has taken more of an interest in the sibling he'll soon have.

The real problem with having one child

In this age of political correctness, it seems the one subject still subject to discrimination is that of the Only Child.

Six-week-old baby found dead, believed stabbed

A neighbour heard a child screaming before a baby was found dead, believed to have been stabbed, in a house in Newcastle.

The fire hazard in more than 70,000 Australian homes

So far, 206 Samsung washing machines have caught fire and some have exploded. But many remain in people's homes.

How having a baby can bring on OCD

We all know that having a baby can turn your life upside down - and it can also bring a raft of new anxieties and worries.

IVF gender selection being considered for Australian parents

Couples using IVF may be able to choose the gender of their babies and women could be financially compensated for donating their eggs.

The best age to get married (according to the latest study)

Not too young, and not too old. That's reportedly the best age to get married. Not everyone agrees.

Yes, you can get pregnant before your period returns post-baby

After giving birth, the last thing you want to think about is contraception. But you can get pregnant before your period comes back.

Fellow diner rewards mum after toddler's tantrum

Parents of toddlers everywhere know the feeling. After working up the courage to take your child out for lunch or dinner in public you are rewarded with a mid-meal meltdown. 

IKEA begins massive safety campaign after two toddler deaths

Two children were killed when pieces from their Malm furniture line tipped over.

Beaneasy: sweet nursery furniture with a twist

If you're looking to introduce an organic element into your baby's nursery but want to step away from natural timber, we have the perfect alternative.

A dad's guide to hyperemesis

I am in no way qualified to advise women on how to cope with hyperemesis, but I've learnt some lessons that might be worth sharing with other partners.

Woman adopts best friend's four daughters after cancer tragedy

Best friends share everything - and for these two life-long friends, that includes family.

Baby Leo's mum excluded from $500K trust 'for her own protection'

Samuel Forrest didn't want his wife as a trustee of their baby Leo's half million dollar trust for her own "protection", it has emerged.

Confirmed: men gain weight when they become dads

Men who become fathers experience weight gain and an increase in body mass index, a measurement of body fat based on height and weight, according to a new, large-scale study

Carer investigated over washing machine photo posted 'for a laugh'

She said the photo of a boy with Down syndrome in a washing machine was taken just for fun, but no one else was laughing.

Mum's premature labour nightmare after high tea salmonella outbreak

An opulent high tea at a luxury Melbourne hotel has left 44 people with salmonella poisoning - including a pregnant woman, who went into early labour.

The day my son started a fire

Would you know what to do in a fire emergency? How safe is your home and family?

Prince George celebrates second birthday

Prince George's second birthday has been marked by the release of an official picture showing the toddler smiling as he is held by his proud beaming father.

Which beauty treatments are safe in pregnancy?

Is it safe to use fake tan, hair dye and nail varnish during pregnancy?

The five ways I know my 'baby' is no longer a baby

The truth is, I can no longer deny that my walking, babbling, somewhat-independent little miss is no longer a bona fide 'baby'.

Review: Cybex Platinum PRIAM pram

I'm not usually one who believes in love at first sight but that's exactly what happened when I first saw the Cybex PRIAM.

Get your FREE Baby & Toddler Show ticket!

Get your free ticket to the Sydney Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27 - register online now.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Tell us what you think

to WIN 1 of 2 $500 Coles/Myer gift cards

Why I'm choosing to be a single mother right from the start

I believe that you get out of families what you put into them, and I will give mine my all.

Mother and baby units are a necessity for mental health, not a luxury

I have had two postnatal psychotic episodes. The first when my eldest child was six weeks old, and another after my second child was born.

30 French baby names

French names are always in fashion, but a few have risen in popularity in recent years.

New mum's Spanish maternity nightmare

A British woman who gave birth in Spain has told of her ordeal after spending weeks trying to convince medics the baby girl was hers.

Preparing Rover to be a good dog with baby

Some friends of ours say that it's dangerous to have a dog around a newborn and that we should start looking for a new home for him. Is it?

Company offers to ship working mums' breast milk home

First Apple and Facebook announced they would pay $20,000 towards the cost of their female employees freezing their eggs, now IBM in the US has come up with an innovative new policy aimed at retaining female employees.

Prince William speaks of his pride at wife Kate and 'little joy of heaven' Charlotte

The Duke of Cambridge opened up about family life and his plans for the future in an interview to mark his first day as an air ambulance pilot.

'Glowing' eye saves baby Mason's life

A simple photo taken in front of an evening fire gave new mother Sarah Bowers the power to save her baby's life. 

Parenting and decision overload

Of all the advice people told me before having a baby, no one warned me about the amount of decisions involved.

Proof that toddlers can't be left unsupervised - ever

Parents of toddlers all know the moment when realise your child is being suspiciously quiet. It can only mean one thing - trouble!

Meet Jeremy Ryan, The Voice contestant with seven kids

If you have trouble recalling the ages of Jeremy Ryan's seven children on The Voice, you're not alone. So does he.

Baby's adorable reaction to wearing glasses for the first time

Getting glasses can be a formative moment in a person's life.

Police officer buys supplies for family after mum of six caught shoplifting

When a mum of six was caught shoplifting nappies, clothes and shoes for her kids, the last thing she expected was for a stranger to pay for her haul.

Why pregnant women on antidepressants shouldn’t panic about birth defect claims

The risk of having uncontrolled depression is far greater than the small increased risk of birth defects that may be associated with specific antidepressants.

Arrests made over children's birthday party brawl

Police have raided properties and arrested a number of people over a brawl at a child's birthday party at a play centre in Sydney's west.

Family shares awesome drone baby announcement

Looking for a creative way to share some big news? Look to the skies, like this family did.

Young warrior Owen defies doctors' predictions

Little Owen DiCandilo's name means "young warrior", and it's a description that perfectly fits the inspiring 18-month-old

Advice for dads: when to approach your wife for sex

The exhaustion that comes with caring for young children often means romance between parents becomes a thing of the past.

I might be fat, but I don't need saving

I've been fat for pretty much most of life, besides a few crazy moments of being less-fat, but for the most part I've existed on this earth with a little more meat on my bones than desirable.

The rookie mistakes we make as parents

Since the dawn of civilisation, generation after generation of new parents have had to rely on instinct, trial and error - and sometimes get it wrong.

 

FREE TICKET

See Pinky McKay live in Sydney

Get your free ticket to The Essential Baby & Toddler Show and save $20 - register online now!

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.