Jump to content

Partner not invited to wedding
Is this a new phenomenon?


  • Please log in to reply
106 replies to this topic

#1 Milly Molly Mandy

Posted 19 February 2013 - 12:56 PM

Yes, another wedding wdyt.

DH just got a wedding invite which only has his name on it. He presumed it included me as well until I told him that it clearly only has his name and that no I don't think it includes me.

Ok I know that people can invite whoever they want to their wedding, I get that.

What my question is, is this a relatively new phenomenon? We have never had an invite like this before and have been to many weddings.

Not asking for opinions on what he should do. That's already been decided.


#2 EssentialBludger

Posted 19 February 2013 - 01:00 PM

I hear about it lots on EB, never happened to us though. I have an invite on the fridge right now addressed to both of us - I've never met the couple in my life!

#3 Milly Molly Mandy

Posted 19 February 2013 - 01:03 PM

It is a work colleague, I have met her a couple of times.

#4 Oriental lily

Posted 19 February 2013 - 01:03 PM

On EB?
Nope.

In my reality yes.

I have never came across this in my family and social circle but apparently EB says its perfectly fine.

#5 TinyTeddys

Posted 19 February 2013 - 01:04 PM

My DH was invited to a wedding and I wasn't. It was a work college, small wedding and apparently no ones partners were invited. I had never meet them so I wasn't fussed.

#6 April girl

Posted 19 February 2013 - 01:04 PM

This old chestnut! I do find it strange to not invite someone's partner to accompany them to a wedding. I don't know if it's a new phenomenom or anything- it hasn't happened to me but I know I wouldn't go without my husband and nor would he go without me.

#7 kelbelblue

Posted 19 February 2013 - 01:05 PM

QUOTE (moss @ 19/02/2013, 12:59 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I would think it odd but I guess it depends on the context. Is it a work colleague that you don't know? I would still think it a bit odd not to invite a spouse but less odd than a friend who knows you both but did not invite you.


I agree with Moss. Very strange if you both know the couple, understandable if only your husband knows them and they have limited seating, or simply don't want a guest list filled with strangers.
Probably not something I would be upset about if it is the latter.

#8 Beancat

Posted 19 February 2013 - 01:05 PM

Weird, very weird.  I would always invite the partner (ie a real, serious partner, not a 2 month girlfriend/boyfriend) even if I didnt know them, or for that matter had met them.  Very strange - have you had a falling out with the person?

I started seeing someone, (who incidently is about to father my third child and we have been together for 6 years) about  6 weeks before my sisters' wedding.  Neither he or I expected him to be invited


ETA - could it actually be a printing mistake?  Is there some way you can secretly check this out?

Edited by Beancat, 19 February 2013 - 01:06 PM.


#9 Born Slippy

Posted 19 February 2013 - 01:06 PM

I have not had an invite like that personally.

However, I certainly have no expectation to be invited to a wedding where my only connection to the bride and/or groom is through my partner. It is not clear from the OP what the exact situation is.

For that reason this is a general example: if a colleague of my DP (particularly one I'd never met) was getting married, I would not expect to be invited just because I am in a relationship with DP. It would make more sense that DP and other work colleagues were invited, without partners.

#10 item

Posted 19 February 2013 - 01:09 PM

At our wedding, we invited a few work ppl and their partners

BUT

if I were to do it again, I would invite more work colleagues, not invite their partners, and then seat them all together  ph34r.gif



Edited to make sense

Edited by in(s)ane, 19 February 2013 - 01:11 PM.


#11 Hypnic Jerk

Posted 19 February 2013 - 01:09 PM

I wasn't invited to a wedding my boyfriend was a driver at.  I found it quite upsetting as to me our  relationship was everything, and still is.

The next one he was invited as "X and friend".  Again I was rather put out but the bride tracked me down and told me that her friend wrote out the invites and didnt know my name.

Might be worth clarifying.

#12 PixieVee

Posted 19 February 2013 - 01:09 PM

I normally would never invite someone without their partner but I am actually considering it for my colleagues. I don't know, I think when it comes to people from work it's fine.

#13 Born Slippy

Posted 19 February 2013 - 01:09 PM

QUOTE (Milly Molly Mandy @ 19/02/2013, 02:03 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It is a work colleague, I have met her a couple of times.


I would just assume that it is an issue of cost or numbers then. I don't think I'd be fussed, for the reasons I'd stated earlier.

#14 BetteBoop

Posted 19 February 2013 - 01:12 PM

I don't know if it's a new trend or not.

I was invited to a wedding almost 20 years ago without my long term boyfriend. I've gone to many weddings since then on my own, including weddings for family members and workmates.

I don't see an issue with it but then DH and I have fairly independent social lives.

#15 Gudrun

Posted 19 February 2013 - 01:21 PM

Nothing new about it.   If people wish to celebrate with a maximum of people they know well within their budget then they invite only the people they know well.


I really enjoyed a wedding of a work colleague about 20 years ago where he specifically told us that the invite was only for the colleagues not their partners.   We were sat at one big table and had an absolute ball.   One bloke turned down the invite because his wife wasn't invited.   So he missed out on all the fun.

#16 epl0822

Posted 19 February 2013 - 01:24 PM

Honestly - I don't see what the big deal is. My DH goes to plenty of social events without me, and I without him. If DH's friend wants him there but not me I'm happy to have an evening to myself. What is it about weddings that couples feel like they have to go joined at the hip? It's not like your DH is going there alone to hook up with a bridesmaid?

#17 Anonymous12

Posted 19 February 2013 - 01:27 PM

I completely understand it from a work colleague perspective. Weddings are expensive, I am sure they would love to have work colleagues and their partners, but maybe they can't afford it so the compromise is colleagues only? Otherwise the other compromise would be no colleagues.

When a friend of mine from work was getting married I offered not to bring my husband along because I knew they were struggling with the guest list. I am close to her, DH isn't.

#18 Miss Kiwi

Posted 19 February 2013 - 01:29 PM

QUOTE (Gudrun @ 19/02/2013, 02:21 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Nothing new about it.   If people wish to celebrate with a maximum of people they know well within their budget then they invite only the people they know well.


I really enjoyed a wedding of a work colleague about 20 years ago where he specifically told us that the invite was only for the colleagues not their partners.   We were sat at one big table and had an absolute ball.   One bloke turned down the invite because his wife wasn't invited.   So he missed out on all the fun.


This!
I don't see the big deal if other work colleagues were invited without their partners. Is this the case OP?

I take it from your last sentence in your post about you have already decided what to do so you don't need advice on that. Does that mean your husband is declining the invite because you are not invited?
That is a real shame if that's the case.

I don't know why people get so upset about these kinda of things, no kids at weddings etc. it's their wedding and they should be able to invite whom they choose:)!


#19 Fenrir

Posted 19 February 2013 - 01:31 PM

QUOTE
I don't know if it's a new trend or not.

Neither do I but it would never occur to me to NOT invite a partner, especially if you know they are in a long term relationship or are married.



#20 4ngiebella

Posted 19 February 2013 - 01:32 PM

The latest wedding invite that came to my partner was addressed to him and his best friend with my name written underneath as an afterthought. I haven't stopped laughing since we received it hehe

#21 #YKG

Posted 19 February 2013 - 01:33 PM

Nope not new has been going on for years.

TBH meeting someone a couple of times does not a friend make. Your husband obviously has a good enough relationship with his co worker to be invited.  

At the end of the days its the couples decision and dont understand the huffing and puffing from people with the "they where invited but what about me?!" comes across as childish. And yes i have been to weddings as the only one out of a coupke invited and being the one that wasnt invited. Why would you want to go to a strangers wedding anyway.

#22 Mrs Dinosaurus

Posted 19 February 2013 - 01:34 PM

I would not do that but I have been invited to a wedding without my partner.

I knew they wanted a small wedding and they didn't know my partner well so we were OK with it.

Then her brother rang up to tell her she was a selfish cow (apparently she hadn't invited her SIL either!!) so DP got an invite original.gif

Hilarious, even with our DPs there were u/20 people there including some random couple who used the only loo to have noisy sex preventing anyone else going for quite a while (and then some of us had to wait until we left because were a bit ikky with the whole thought of it!)

Anyway - IMO it is OK if it's a small wedding where it's something like immediate family and friends and everyone knows each other (I would put work colleagues together and assume your DP isn't the only one from work going). But when people are married, it's a biggish wedding and people don't know a lot of other people then you got to give them someone to sit with, talk to, dance with and feel comfortable with - you don't want your wedding to feel like a night long boring as hell, god these people are rude thing for one or two friends.

#23 MrsLexiK

Posted 19 February 2013 - 01:35 PM

A girl I worked with only invited myself, not my DH (though he was DB then) I didn't even give it a second thought, there was 6 invite and 4 of us where either in de factos or long term relationships none of us thought it was unusal.  Our partners had all meet her but only a handful of times.  DH had a wedding on that same weekend as it turned out, I cannot remember if I was invited or not but I had never actually meet these people before because they lived interstate.  

In the end it would have been weird if I had gone (I am thinking I was probably invited but only because my BIL was in the wedding and my SIL was invited and all other mates did not have their wives going only my BIL, as the wives got to look after the kids for the weekend) as I had no idea who they were nor did I really know (expect for DH and my SIL) anyone else who would have been catching up with each other. I also got an invite to one of DH's close friend's weddings after only dating DH for a short time.  I was surprised to be invited honestly, but I think the key here is close friend.

#24 Milly Molly Mandy

Posted 19 February 2013 - 01:37 PM

Thanks all, so not totally a new thing, and not a growing trend either by the sounds of it.

Epl0822 it is no big deal. Not sure where my OP suggests my fear of DH hooking up with the bridesmaid but you are free to read into it whatever you want.



#25 Lady Grey-Mare

Posted 19 February 2013 - 01:40 PM

QUOTE (Milly Molly Mandy @ 19/02/2013, 01:56 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Yes, another wedding wdyt.

DH just got a wedding invite which only has his name on it. He presumed it included me as well until I told him that it clearly only has his name and that no I don't think it includes me.

Ok I know that people can invite whoever they want to their wedding, I get that.

What my question is, is this a relatively new phenomenon? We have never had an invite like this before and have been to many weddings.

Not asking for opinions on what he should do. That's already been decided.



Don't leave us in suspense. Is he going or not?




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

The day my daughter almost drowned

We had six adults standing there, so I felt like I could relax a bit. After all, what could go wrong with so much supervision?

Sydney siege survivor names baby after victim Katrina Dawson

A Sydney barrister who survived the Lindt cafe siege has named her newborn daughter after her best friend who died in the tragedy.

Banishing bloat

How to avoid a bloated tummy

Here are some foods to eat in order to escape feeling ghastly and gassy.

The great new picture book for anxious kids

My son is a worrier by nature. I learnt long ago that it was completely pointless to say to him "Don't worry about it!".

Budget stripped more than $15b from families

The combined impact of the two budgets for low and middle income people was "devastating", new analysis by the Australian Council of Social Service shows.

Pregnant women urged to get flu shots

As the winter chill starts to arrive, NSW Health is urging pregnant women to get their flu shots.

65-year-old gives birth to quadruplets

A 65-year-old German woman, who already has 13 children, has given birth to quadruplets.

What you need to know about pregnancy and health insurance

It's not just waiting periods that couples need to consider - there are other factors to consider when thinking about health insurance.

Yummy mummy

Nicole Trunfio breastfeeds baby on Elle magazine cover

Australian model Nicole Trunfio has taken the concept of multitasking to a fashionable new level for Elle Australia.

Warnings after baby girl died while sleeping in bouncer

Parents have been warned about the dangers of letting babies sleep in bouncers and swings following the death of a three-month-old girl.

Coping with fatigue as a parent

Sleep deprivation is a real hazard of caring for a baby. But there are ways to manage the challenges of fatigue better.

A very 21st century issue: parents, parks and smart phones

It's not all the parents, and it's not all the time, but there is often at least one doing it. And sometimes, that 'one' is me.

Appliances

Faulty washing machines linked to house fires

More than 80,000 faulty Samsung washing machines pose a fire threat in homes throughout Australia despite a nationwide recall of the machines.

'I had a lotus birth and I loved it'

Lotus birthing is not all that common, but for a number of women it feels like the most natural thing to do.

7 things you might not know about postnatal depression

Despite its widespread nature, there is still a great amount of mystery surrounding PND - and it's important to try unravelling as much of that as we can.

Is your family's car part of the world's biggest safety recall?

More than 50 million vehicles recalled for potentially lethal airbag fault - is your car affected?

Why drinking water can be deadly for babies

H2O is one of the necessities of life, but for babies a seemingly harmless amount of water can be fatal.

Mother-in-law faceplants during proposal

He had it all planned: a romantic proposal on a windswept beach. The whole family would be there so they'd all be able to celebrate the joyous moment together.

A preschooler suddenly goes mute - and it's not just shyness

When our son stopped talking, our sense of loss was painful and acute.

The mums who ask for a 'wife bonus'

They run their homes like domestic CEOs and work tirelessly to improve their family's social standing. And now, according to a new book, they want an annual perk from their husbands.

Woman shares photo of dimple on breast to warn others of cancer risk

A widely-shared Facebook photograph of a British woman's breast has raised awareness of a more subtle breast cancer symptom.

Starting a family despite a low sperm count

"I'd never really failed a test - how could I fail this particularly manly test?"

It's official: we must better protect our kids from toxic lead exposure

New guidelines have been released, aimed at reducing children's harmful exposure to lead. But they still don't go far enough.

Trouble-shooting toddler social skills

Chances are your toddler's behaviour is all completely normal - but here's how to tackle some common social problems.

Helping your first-born welcome a sibling

We did sigh with joy at the arrival of a royal princess - but, mostly, we sighed with pity at the sight of Prince George being taken to meet her.

Farewell, daytime nap

I've been in denial and I'm not too proud to beg, but it appears I must accept the fact that you have gone. I need to let you go.

The identical triplets who are one in 50 million

The father of identical triplets born in a Texas hospital says his three daughters, including conjoined twins, are "a miracle" sent by God.

Seven questions you should be asking about your health cover

If the last time you assessed your health cover was five years ago, there?s a chance it may no longer suit your needs. To ensure it?s still right for your family, click here for seven questions to ask.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

How to use gas effectively in labour

Many women in labour don't use gas effectively and suffer more side effects than benefits. Here's how to get the most out of this pain relief option.

'He has gastro but that's okay, right?': sick kid etiquette

We cannot place all children who are sick in a bubble till they recover, but we can give other parents a choice about exposing their kids to them.

Ada Nicodemou: 'I can never be completely happy again'

Home and Away actress Ada Nicodemou has opened up about the loss of her stillborn baby.

10 things to consider when you're thinking about trying for a baby

Before you start tracking your menstrual cycle and reading up on the best positions to get pregnant, there are a few other things you may want to consider.

How special surgery and IVF can create a post-vasectomy baby

Cricket legend Glenn McGrath and his second wife Sara are expecting their first child together, thanks to IVF and a delicate surgical sperm retrieval process that helped the couple to conceive.

Belle Gibson's mother 'disgusted and embarrassed'

The mother of disgraced wellness blogger Belle Gibson has accused her daughter of lying about her childhood in an attempt to garner public sympathy.

Doctor's mobile phone 'left inside c-section mum'

A new mum claims a doctor left his mobile phone inside her after delivering her baby via caesarean section.

I'm a mum and I'm following my dreams

I want my kids to know that no matter what happens in life, you can still be who it is that you've always wanted to be.

Those first daycare days

I had this innate 'mum' moment the other day.

'If one person had listened, my life would have been so different'

Katherine's father will die in prison for the horrifying sexual abuse of his daughter. Yet she is the one with the true life sentence.

This new plan undermines breastfeeding and baby health at everyone's expense

Mothers, babies, the health system and the wider society are going to pay the price of this new budget.

Couple to celebrate terminally ill baby's birthday in unique way

Baby Jai Bishop has lived at Starship Hospital for the past seven months, with his parents flying back and forth from Hokitika, 1100km away, to be by his side.

Life On Mars

It's men who need 'retraining', not women

We are all responsible for our own behaviour. Telling victims to harden up is wrong.

Baby Gammy's dad tries to claim charity money

The biological father of baby Gammy has reportedly tried to access charity money raised for the little boy's medical costs.

Where are the childcare places?

It?s all very well to encourage women to work if they choose to, but how can the measures lead to increased workforce participation when women are once again left holding the baby?

The pain of not having babies and not knowing why

After seven years of wishing, hoping, crying, punching pillows and shouting "why me?!", the end result is more than I ever thought possible.

Getting your family finances in order

Whether you're after a new car for a growing family, a bigger house, or are just fixing up your finances, here are the basics on borrowing.

Mum shares graphic selfie to warn against tanning

A mum has shared a graphic photo of her skin cancer treatment as a warning to others.

Does parenthood make us happier?

We can certainly gain higher levels of happiness when we become parents, but the trick is to not get overwhelmed by the pressures of raising our kids.

No, having a dog is not like having a human child

It's obvious these people dote on their pets, but they're barking up the wrong tree.

 

Top baby names

Baby Names

The numbers are in and we can now bring you the 2014 top baby name list for Australia.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.