Jump to content

Help for an elderly relative


  • Please log in to reply
6 replies to this topic

#1 MintyBiscuit

Posted 18 February 2013 - 12:23 PM

I have an 88 year old grandmother who I'm starting to get quite concerned about, and I'm not sure where to start with getting some assistance for her. She lives alone about ten minutes away from me, and has done since my grandfather passed away almost six years ago. Both her sons passed away over ten years ago, so there's no parent/child relationship to deal with this sort of thing. My aunt and myself keep an eye on things and keep in regular touch with her, and we both see her about once every week or so.

Basically, she's starting to get extremely forgetful. Conversations with her involve her repeating herself almost constantly, and she seems to have no realisation that she's doing it. She's starting to lose track of dates a little bit as well. She is incredibly stubborn though, and fiercely independent. I don't really know where to start as far as working out if she needs assistance, what assistance she can get, and convincing her to take it.

Has anyone had experience in these sort of situations, or know where I can start? We're in Sydney.

Thank you original.gif

#2 9ferals

Posted 18 February 2013 - 12:32 PM

Oh dear, it's so hard when someone is on their own and things start to change.
If she is willing to do something, I would start with her GP and see if he can refer to her local Aged Care Assessment Team (not sure if they've changed their name, but I'm pretty sure there should be someone who can come and visit her at home and look as how she is doing and what issues might affect her safety and ability to stay at home.
If she isn't willing to start that process herself, then I would call her GP (if you know who that is) or if you don't, then maybe call her local council and see what Senior's services they have available. Really, you need to get her into the system so she can get assistance if she needs it.

I've just read your post again and note that she's very stubborn, that can make it tricky!  
You might like to call the Alzheimer's association in her area - not that I'm saying she has Alzheimer's but they are likely to know what kind of services might help and may have some tips on how to approach her and get her linked in with some more support.

Good luck

#3 Therese

Posted 18 February 2013 - 12:36 PM

I would start with her GP too.

Good luck, it's such a tricky thing to deal with.

#4 Froger

Posted 18 February 2013 - 12:40 PM

Yes, I agree with Rubybelle, she has good suggestions. In NSW the GP can organise an assessment team to come out and see what sort of services the elderly person is in need of. Also the GP can do stuff like organise with the council to have the garbage bin taken out and brought back in - sometimes even little things like this make a tremendous difference. It all helps.

Also Legacy have welfare services. They can organise for a welfare worker to come out and see how the person is doing, offer some suggestions and some practical help.

Edited by SarahM72, 18 February 2013 - 12:44 PM.


#5 qak

Posted 18 February 2013 - 12:45 PM

Local councils sometimes have a community/senior welfare person.  My Dad has them to organise things for him.

#6 blenheim

Posted 18 February 2013 - 01:07 PM

The very first step would be taking her to the GP to have a full health assessment done - including a dementia screen.  Memory changes are not a normal part of ageing - sometimes it can be as simple as a nutritional deficiency or it can also be the onset of dementia.  Many people live at home alone with memory changes, the key is to get in early to optimise safety and reduce risks.  

Once the dementia screening and health assessment has been done, a call to the local council for Home Services and perhaps a referral to ACAT (which can be made by anyone - but your grandmother has to consent) might be useful.

I often used to explain it as trying to make sure someone safely lives at home for as long as possible.

#7 MintyBiscuit

Posted 18 February 2013 - 03:55 PM

Thanks all

I had a feeling the GP was the right place to start. Getting her consent is going to be the tricky part - she is either deeply in denial or genuinely doesn't think anything is wrong. Just last week she misplaced her credit card and couldn't understand why we were at her to call and report it. It was found safe in her house, but the what ifs are starting to scare me. She's in a pretty good financial position compared to many her age, and if it came to needing care it could be paid for, but I worry about her doing silly things with money and it not b ring there when she needs it.

Sorry, that got a  bit rambling. I'm also p*ssed off that its all on me and my aunt, but that's another story. I'll check into what council offers and find some info on the ACAT stuff, then talk to my aunt about our next step




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Chrissy Teigen's pride about daughter's adorable first word

Chrissy Teigen and John Legend have celebrated their 11-month-old baby Luna's first word with an adorable Instagram post.

The photo that sums up how dads REALLY feel during labour

A new mum shared a hilarious photo of her partner during labour that lots of dads will relate to.

You can never hold your baby too much, says study

From the world of super obvious science comes the news that you can never hold your baby too much.

Babies called Romeo and Juliet born hours apart in the same hospital

Two mums gave birth in adjoining hospital rooms a few hours apart. They had never met, and had each chosen their baby's name earlier in the pregnancy.

Mum organises 'nurse-in' protest at IKEA

It's hard to believe than in 2017 mums are still receiving flak for breastfeeding in public, but that's what one US mum claims happened in IKEA.

Will 'How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids' be a best-seller?

Author Jancee Dunn hopes her new book will help mums deal with the stresses that parenthood can place on an otherwise happy relationship.

The dad who was taunted for taking paternity leave

They imagined that while I was away, I would be glued to the couch, beer in hand. In no way would I actually be helping my wife.

Photographer surprises couple with rainbow baby shoot

The prettiest and most unexpected maternity shoot for a much-wanted rainbow baby.

Mum's funny solution for finding 'me time' with a toddler in tow

If you've ever been in possession of a toddler, you'll know that it's next to impossible to get anything done.

Qualities my three-year-old has that I admire

My three-year-old daughter is one of the strongest little women that I know. As I watch her grow into this amazing person, I can't help but feel accomplished and proud.

'You need to be present': John Legend on supporting a partner with PND

Singer John Legend has opened up about supporting wife Chrissy Teigen through postnatal depression.

The seven types of 'parent sleep'

The question, "Did you sleep well last night?" should be easy to answer. Either a yes (if you're lucky), or a no.

'Anxiety hit me like a ton of bricks'

Tammin Sursok has written an essay sharing her personal experience with postnatal anxiety.

11 things to do to protect your mental health while breastfeeding

Whether breastfeeding is going well or you are finding it harder than you expected, taking care of you needs to be a priority.

Couple announces they're both expecting - three weeks apart

Being pregnant at the same time as your best friend means double the excitement.

Why Dax Shepard was 'impressed' when his daughter swore for the first time

Actor and comedian, Dax Shepard has given a hilarious recap of the lengths he'll go to get, and keep, his kids asleep.

Video captures beautiful breech caesarean birth

A new life is brought gently into the world with tender and expert hands.

Mum warns of vacuum danger after toddler injured

Every parent knows toddlers can move fast, now one mum is warning about the dangers of allowing small children anywhere near vacuum cleaners.

 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Articles

Advertisement
 
 
 

From our network

Win 1 of 10 awesome Peppa Pig prize packs

Who loves Peppa? We have 10 packs to give away - including family passes to see the brand new movie, in cinemas March 16!

Essential Baby & Toddler Show, presented by Blackmores

28th - 30th April, 2017, Melbourne Royal Exhibition Building, Carlton. Get your FREE ticket now. Save $20.

 

Free ticket offer

Essential Baby & Toddler Show, presented by Blackmores

28th - 30th April, 2017, Melbourne Royal Exhibition Building, Carlton. Get your FREE ticket now. Save $20.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.