Jump to content

What you wish you knew when you started


  • Please log in to reply
12 replies to this topic

#1 MrsAx

Posted 18 February 2013 - 07:11 AM

For anyone that has learnt a lot along the way, can you please tell me what you wished you knew from the start.  

I am now approaching 12 months and have had one appointment with RE.  I was given clomid to make me ovulate earlier.  On 25mg it made me ovulate late and bleed/spot all follicular stage of cycle.  On 50mg I have bled/spot much worse all cycle.  I have ovulated 1 day early at best,  I ovulate on CD 19-24.  

The RE said clomid for 3 months, then a laproscopy, then IVF.  Its all so medical and i dont know whats wrong.  I have had ultrasound (polycycstic signs but ovulating so not the syndrome), hormones (slightly out of normal range), had deficient Vit D (now on 1000mg pd) and hubby SA "normal" but morphology 6% (is that normal?).  

Are there any other tests etc before going down the medical route?

Edited by MrsAx, 18 February 2013 - 07:15 AM.


#2 Jessie_T

Posted 18 February 2013 - 08:34 AM

I wish I went to a fs earlier. They did a more through examination of dh sperm and he basically has hardly any useable sperm.

One big word of advise, a fs will only push the medical route if they believe there is a genuine reason. I got offered to go to a fs appointment 12 mo ths ago and decided for the gyno option because I thought it would be to Ivf straight away. I wasted 12 months of our life because more thorough testing wasn't done

#3 Libertine

Posted 18 February 2013 - 01:42 PM

It took me two years ttc DD2 (when I'd had no problems conceiving DD1). I too went to a FS and was given clomid even though my charts clearly showed I was ovulating every month. I also had a hysteroscopy (sp?) to rule out Ashermans.

Tbh it all cost a fair bit of $ and was very stressful. At the time I thought I felt better 'doing something' rather than just waiting but with hindsight it was all a stressful waste of time.

What eventually worked for me, I believe, was changing my diet. I was getting acupuncture which was great for my general well being but it was only when incorporated the dietary changes they recommended (for me that was limited dairy, no gluten,slow cooked food, limited raw) that I fell pregnant. I did a fair bit of reading about how sensitive your hormones etc are and how they can be influenced by what you eat. I think I may be sensitive to gluten. I cut it out, next month I was pregnant. Might have been a coincidence of course! But it 'felt' right.

I'm not saying you should necessarily cut out gluten though! But if you are interested in a more natural, holistic approach maybe you could look into acupuncture and a TCM diagnosis. Nothing to lose!, acupuncture is very relaxing and I used to feel great afterwards.

#4 Glitterz

Posted 18 February 2013 - 01:58 PM

I wish I really knew that trying for #2 with AC would possibly be a longer and more tiring journey compared to #1.

#5 Paddlepop

Posted 18 February 2013 - 02:56 PM

DH and I TTC for 2 years before we used IVF and conceived our DD on our second embryo transfer.

My hormones were normal, regular periods, ultrasounds confirmed ovulation was occurring and uterus appeared healthy with no fibroids and had a normal thickness of lining. My DH's multiple sperm tests were normal. I was 29yo and DH was 31yo when we commenced IVF.

The first 3 FS I went to wanted to do a laparoscopy immediately before doing anything else because they figured that I must have endo or PCOS. I refused because I didn't have the symptoms for either, hence why I saw multiple FS. Instead I had a HSG (hysterosalpingogram) done via my GP and an x-ray place, and it showed that one of my fallopian tubes was completely blocked. I had the procedure repeated a few months later and the result was the same.

When I saw my fourth FS, he was relieved that I hadn't had a lap done because it can cause scarring and cause infertility issues. He prefers to not do them straight away, depending on other test results. He was satisfied with the HSG results indicating a tubal blockage, and concluded that the open tube was probably damaged and nonfunctional. We went straight to IVF, had a failed fresh transfer and then a successful frozen transfer.

If you don't want to have surgery, then don't. Maybe you will need to have exploratory surgery (ie a lap) done at some stage but if you don't want to yet, then don't. There are 2 nonsurgical ways of checking whether your tubes are open but it seems that these are rarely used. They are HSG and HyCoSy. They both involve placing fluid into your uterus via the cervix (and a speculum) and seeing how freely it drains out of the fallopian tubes. HSG is the older and cheaper version done using x-ray, and HyCoSy is the newer, more detailed and more expensive version done using ultrasound.

It is your body. Don't do anything that you don't want to. Maybe you need to take a break for a few months, and then go back to the RE. If you don't feel that your current RE/FS is the right one for you, find a different one. I really didn't like the first 3 I saw. DH and I both liked our 4th one, and the IVF clinic he works with felt "right" to us. If/when we try for another child we will be going back to him and that clinic.

#6 NSG

Posted 18 February 2013 - 07:51 PM

I wish I knew how long it was going to take my body to recover after going off BCP. I would have done it earlier. I would also have not gotten my hopes up so high in the early days. I am much more relaxed now.

#7 *LiMa*

Posted 18 February 2013 - 07:54 PM

That the needles aren't that bad!  I put off IVF for ages because of my severe needle phobia.  It took me an hour to inject myself the first night.  It was no where near as bad as I expected.  I wasted so mich time putting it off based on that fear.

#8 minidiamond

Posted 18 February 2013 - 08:05 PM

1. To make an FS appt much further in advance i.e.. it took me ages to get in to see one & you can always cancel !  Also, if you need to make a follow up appt with an FS after a BFN, try & do it before you even finish the current cycle (if they'll let you).  Or do it as soon as a BFN is known (sorry to be negative, just realistic).  Not all FS-es require a face to face appt.

2. To understand that everyone truly is individual.  Don't compare yourself to anyone else, no matter how similar your stories might be, both IRL & here on forums etc.

3. If you're able to a referral from your FS, get the second 'phase' of BTs, which for most FSs is a series of tests for things like thyroid, etc. after a few BFNs.  Again, not being negative but you're eliminating things & saving time.  It takes 12 vials of blood but it may rule issues in or out immediately.

OP, I am also polycystic but don't have PCOS. Do some googling around that, some ppl reccommend metformin but I don't want to give that advice not being a medical expert (I didn't have it but it's a treatment sometimes used for more overweight ladies with PCOS).  By the same token, make sure the FS takes the polycystic issue into account.  There is a strong school of thought that quantity that's often associated with polycystic ovaries is actually damaging to quality of eggs.  Have a look at this - it's just a blog but it's quite hard to find info on PCO v PCOS (which is the more 'diagnosed' condition)
http://girlgoneprimal.blogspot.com.au/2009...ic-ovaries.html

*preg mentioned*

Good luck ! I had success aged 42, after a number of cycles.

#9 Feral-as-Meggs

Posted 18 February 2013 - 08:05 PM

It's your body, your money and it will be your baby.  It's important to understand what's happening and why, so you have confidence in your treatment.  Note down all your questions as they occur to you, and go through them with the FS.

Plus what Minidiamond said about the appointments.   Suck up to the receptionist.

Edited by meggs1, 18 February 2013 - 08:06 PM.


#10 alright789

Posted 26 February 2013 - 01:08 PM

I think back over my five year journey and there are so many things I wish I knew before I started.

I was referred to a FS early on, after coming off the pill, but I let them dictate what to do too much (well, they are the specialists, aren't they?).  This list is what I'd do differently / wish I'd known:

  • I should have asked more questions and not just blindly followed everything they said
  • Ask if you are a good candidate for each type of treatment, eg. if there are big problems with sperm quality / numbers etc. maybe IUI treatment isn't for you
  • Be realistic about possible outcomes, and ask what the realistic % outcomes may be at their clinic
  • I should never have believed them when they told me "it'll be easy to get you pregnant", "I don't usually make promises, but with you..."  (meaning IVF was a sure thing)  It set me up for a bigger fall each month when I got my BFNs.
  • I wish I hadn't bothered with clomid (easy to say after the fact for me, when it didn't get me pregnant).  For me, being on clomid for so many cycles and having some breaks in between and changing to another FS, meant I was a long time into the journey emotionally, but really hadn't started "trying" yet, by moving on to injectibles
  • At the same time: don't let them push you into treatments you don't want or don't fully understand
  • If the FS doesn't have time to discuss full treatment cycles with you, then ask to speak to the nurses - they are who you will spend the most time with and are usually more generous with information and explaining what comes next / when things will happen
  • Research what problems can cause infertility (in general) and ask them to start ruling them out - if you have a supportive GP they can start with some basic blood tests
  • Take a list of questions with you to FS - if you don't get answers consider changing to a FS who will work with you, and it's important that they respect your beliefs and feelings
  • Let them investigate your fertility issues, with Hycosy / HSG and test sperm etc.
  • I wish I hadn't been afraid of injectibles - I am a master fainter - but now I can have blood tests sitting up (that's a huge deal for me) and the daily shots don't hurt at all
  • Consider starting early with relaxation type endeavours (massage, acupuncture) and look after your general health, even get advice from a respected naturopath (if you're comfortable with that) - they can help with diet, exercise, and supplements.
  • Consider journalling your thoughts - for you - so you can work through your feelings and thoughts.
  • I would have been much kinder to myself
After trying for so long, we were at the end of our journey and had our last fertility treatment cycle - we were done.  I was on metformin and I had an HSG and lipoidal flush in October and in November I got a BFP naturally.  I wasn't "relaxed" at all (everyone told me to just "relax" and it would happen... very annoying advice and the worst possible thing to say to me), I was an emotional wreck.  I'm not suggesting that this was a miracle cure or the reason it happened, but these types of things are worth looking into.  Turns out for me, I also had a thyroid issue, which may have been a problem, but no doctor ever put me on meds or talked to me about it.

Good luck with your journey.  original.gif



#11 gemgirl

Posted 27 February 2013 - 09:48 AM

I agree that the needles were not as bad as I'd expected. I also have a phobia.

Edited by gemgirl, 27 February 2013 - 09:49 AM.


#12 ellebelle

Posted 27 February 2013 - 09:56 AM

Agree with PP about not being afraid to change doctors if you don't feel they are "working with you". Look for one that is willing to try different things.

#13 mez70

Posted 28 February 2013 - 06:54 PM

Warning Pregnancy mentioned..

One thing I wish I had of known and wish I had done differently is not to put my life on "hold" so to speak. In the 3 years I was TTC I was really burnt out in a job, that really was giving me no joy, yet as they "understood" and were great about me taking time off, getting to work late etc I stayed prob a good 12 mths longer than I should. Each week and month I would look at all the internal vacanices and transfers and not go for them as I was sure that would be the month and why start in a new role only top go on Mat leave.... It was only when I finally took the leap and not only transferred into head office, but then even applied for a promotion that I thought I would no way get (and was successful) that I got my much awaited and dreamed for BFP. I am not saying changing jobs,location etc would have made it happen any sooner, but I sure would have been happier and in a better frame of mind which could have only helped.


1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Special offer: The Baby & Toddler Show 2014

At The Baby & Toddler Show, you?ll find everything you need to get ready for your new arrival and guide you through the early weeks and years of parenting.

An open letter to Tony Abbott: please salvage our super

We face financial ruin, but most of us don?t realise it. If we don?t act together to salvage our superannuation, I have no doubt the new GFC will be the Girls? Financial Crisis.

'I'm happy to know I'm changing lives': surrogate mum of two

I know that once the baby is born, I will focus on the gift I have given, and watch the parents with their new child. I can't wait for that day.

Birth trauma and the issue of informed consent

There is a perception that women should just be happy they have a healthy baby in their arms. But for women who experienced birth trauma, there's a lot more to it.

Tips for managing pollen allergies and hayfever

They're simple tips, but they can have a big impact on those who suffer from hayfever and pollen allergies.

Ada Nicodemou shares tribute to her stillborn baby

Just over one month since Ada Nicodemou and her husband lost their second son, the Home and Away star has shared a touching poem for her baby.

Mum causes stir breastfeeding on train

?To the woman breastfeeding her kid on the train. Seriously! On the train?" began the letter of complaint.

10 things they don?t tell you about being pregnant

As I slowly waddle my ever-changing pregnant body towards the finishing line of my due date, it?s becoming increasingly clear there are a lot of things they just don?t tell you about pregnancy.

Overcoming a fear of the dark

A toddler's fear of the dark is very normal, but there are ways parents can help children through this stage in their development.

Kids, TV and movies: how young is too young?

It seems you don't have to throw the TV and iPad out the window - it all boils down to moderation, supervision and interaction.

Video: Baby's first birthday is a special day for mum, too

?A baby?s first birthday is also mum?s first birthday.?

The day Supernanny came to tea

Prince William's favourite celebrity child trainer Jo Frost puts Bryony Gordon and her toddler through their paces.

Tales from the homefront

When you're at work you sort of assume that your house is basically just sitting there quietly doing nothing until you return. However, since spending my days at home, I've learned this couldn't be further from the truth.

The words I hated hearing as new mum

It was less than a week after my son was born that I first heard it - from my mother.

To the pharmacist who sold me baby formula

On the rare occasion I catch sight of you at school, or around town, I think back to our earliest exchange. I?m sure you have no recollection of it at all.

Babies may benefit from autism therapy

Children showing signs of autism don't usually receive early intervention until well into toddlerhood or later, but a new study suggests infants with symptoms of the developmental disorder might benefit from therapy from as early as six months.

Knatalye and Adeline born with an everlasting bond

Knatalye Hope and Adeline Faith are a lot like any other identical twin girls, but there is one dramatic difference: they're joined at the chest and shares several internal organs.

The question this dad wishes he'd asked his wife

I should have seen that my wife wasn't the same person I'd fallen in love with, but we were both too focused on simply trying to get by.

Why we should talk about the deaths of the Hunt children

The deaths are too horrible even to think about. Yet we owe it to the children - Fletcher, Mia and Phoebe Hunt - to think long and hard about it all.

Baby dies of meningococcal weeks after vaccine application denied

A six-month-old girl has died from meningococcal disease just weeks after an application for government funding of a vaccine for the most deadly strain of the virus was rejected.

Finding the right balance when playing with your kids

Being too involved in our children?s play and not allowing our kids enough free time for unstructured activities can mean our kids miss out on the value that play offers.

Creative DIY light shades

The Pop Light light shade comes in a flat pack already made - it's up to you to design it as you'd like.

The battle of iParenting versus imagination

Have we forgotten how to be imaginative, resourceful parents?

Why movement is so important for your baby's growth

Letting your child move as much as possible in the early years ? using all senses, engaging in the real world, preferably outside ? will help them grow up healthier, smarter, calmer and stronger.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Special offer: The Baby & Toddler Show 2014

At The Baby & Toddler Show, you?ll find everything you need to get ready for your new arrival and guide you through the early weeks and years of parenting.

Losing yourself to motherhood

While watching your baby grow into a unique little person is exciting and wondrous, the intensity of meeting everyone else?s needs can ever so sneakily overtake your own needs for self-care.

Tearing during delivery: the facts

Almost all women will experience bruising, grazing or tearing after a vaginal birth. Depending on the degree of tearing, there are various treatments available.

6 tips for a day out with a baby and toddler

Outings can be lots of fun with the kids, but there are inevitable challenges. Here's some information about days out to help you be a little more prepared.

Why I invited a dozen people to watch my son's birth

I sent invitations on burgundy scrapbooking paper stamped with a field of poppies, and told each person why I wanted him or her there. I warned that there would be nudity.

Getting labour started: tips for a natural induction

When your baby?s due date comes and goes without so much as a pop - let alone a bang - it can be disheartening. Mums and a doula share their stories of natural inductions.

7 mistakes old hands make with new babies

As I sat across the table from my friend ? me, a seasoned mother of three; her, a brand new mum ? I thought of all the mistakes an old-hand parent can make when visiting a newborn baby.

That's my boy: a dad's diary of the first 4 months

Unbearable anxiety, unspeakable joy, constant exhaustion and bouts of frustration ... The many shocks of first-time fatherhood resound in a dad's diary of his son's early months.

One of the most important things a new mum can do

Finances may not be as cute as a newborn, but with many women?s working arrangements changing post-baby, monetary matters need attention too.

Single, pregnant - and 51

She first became a mum at 49 - now, two years later, Tracey Khan is pregnant with her second child.

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

 

Reader offer

2 FOR 1 TICKET OFFER

For Shopping, For Advice, For Baby & You. Enjoy a special day out with fabulous shopping from over 200 brands, leading parenting experts offering advice on a range of topics, and amazing children?s entertainment

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.