Jump to content

MC? the day of my first MC EDD
How to deal with it?


  • Please log in to reply
2 replies to this topic

#1 hillplain

Posted 17 February 2013 - 05:05 PM

Hi Lovely ladies,

Some of you would know my story however I will put it down here to get it out. Hope you don't mind the length....

DH and I have been TTC for 7 years (5 in earnest). We learnt last year that his sperm has some morphology issues (only 2% any good) and the only way was with ICSI/IVF. So not being ones to waste any more time we leapt into the process. First cycle we learnt that I was a poor responder. only 3 eggs, 2 fert and no frosties. Transfered 1 on day 3. Made it to 11.5 weeks and learnt that we had a MMC. Passed a fair porpotion of this at home then D&C.
On to cycle 2 (we were just unlucky) same story. Upped dose of Gonal F and away we go. Same result at 9 weeks, only discovered this 2 days before leaving for New Zealand on a work trip. D&C day after US. Stupid GP didnt send anything off for testing.

Now there is cycle 3. Many tests, no really issues except my thyroid a bit inconsistant. Different drugs to try to get better quality. Result. 6 eggs, 5 fert then rapid deterioration. Transfered 2 at day 3 of not great quality. Nothing frozen.
Got late +ve HPT. BT on the 14/2 (which I didn't get results from until 15/2) shows HCG 90 and terribly low progesterone. Up the dose of progesterone. I have spotted Fri Night, all day Sat and finally a bright red bleed (not a lot though) today.

Whilst I am sadly getting used to the idea of MC my main problem is that the day that I have to have my next BT is tomorrow - the day that I was supposed to be having our first child. My heart is breaking here and I just don't know what to do.

I know deep down that there is nothing that I can do to change nor stop this. I am 36 and my clock is ticking. I am terribly frightened of another cycle and MC but what choice do we really have? I am frightened that if I wait too long that the quality of my eggs will decrease even more and that we will have even less chance. If we cycle again soon I am frightened that we will crack up 4MC in less than 12months. I am frightened that we will never have children and that I don't have the strength to do this.

Thankyou for reading my story.

#2 Princesspeachzz

Posted 18 February 2013 - 08:16 PM

Hill plain, I feel your pain. Am also the same age and similar situation. Ivf. Mc the first after ivf at only 5w, second just shy of 18w. (Complications thru amnio.) Had a third FET in between, but no luck there. Though I still have some frosties. Have only just physically gotten over the most recent MC and I think mentally the best help has been seeing a psychologist. She's been able to help me with the fear of the unknown and has helped me see some hope for the future. (Am right back to square one and hope to do another ivf round in April) I'm so terrified of losing another baby. Don't think I could go thru another funeral. But I know I have to try to see a future or else what's the point of going on. The psychologist has been able to teach me some relaxation techniques to help me cope with the stress. She also gets me to write down my negative thoughts and feelings. I initially felt such pain and loss with no hope for any success in the future. When you write down the negative things, such as this will never work for me, then try to find a more rational positive thought, such it could work for me. By writing down your emotions, then it helps your mind sort out your thoughts and resolve stress.  Maybe your GP could refer you to someone? (Thru the medics mental health plan you can get some Medicare covered sessions). Im also fearful of trying ivf again after this last mc. so desperate to have my first baby and honestly so jealous of my friends who have had success. why can,t it just work for me. But need to find strength to continue this journey. So if you need to talk, pm me. You,re definitely not alone. original.gif

#3 Zanobia

Posted 19 February 2013 - 12:07 PM

Hillplain I know a lot of what you are feeling right now! Our MC EDD was the 1st of March and I'm waiting for the call today to tell me if our first FET worked or not.

After talking to counsellors (from work's program and the SIDS ones) I don't know if I could ever go through a stim cycle again...the fear of another round of OHSS is too much. I'm lucky as I had some frozen ones, though two were lost, I still have the one I hopefully have onboard and 3 others. I would recommend talking to a professional, I know SIDS has a 24 hour bereavement support line that might help you 1300 308 307.

My MC was late and heartbreaking, I still think about it everyday and feel the loss as keenly. DH has moved on, he isn't one to dwell on things, but I am. Apart from him, my parents and this forum, I wont be telling any one else until we hit 16 weeks (if we do, trying to be positive is hard)...

I had my bleeds with my loss and was told that there was no reason to worry, it can be many things (like the progesterone can upset the cervix etc etc)...so here's hoping you are okay and this is your time! I'll be praying for you and hoping we both end up in a nice happier due date buddy group soon.

That your GP didn't follow up properly is sh*tty, I know so many MCs are unexplained (like ours) but when you're already involved in fertility treatment, no evidence should be ignored! Any chance you can see a different GP in the future? It can be hard to find decent proactive ones sometimes.

Please keep writing, here or just for yourself like Princesspeachzz suggested. I did some writing myself and it helped me clarify what I scared of and eventually find a little perspective.


0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Mum shares hilarious story about attempting shower sex

As most parents know, finding time for sex post-kids is one of life's not-so-little challenges.

16 things you'll learn on the preschool party circuit

Kids birthday parties sound fun in the abstract but the reality is they often end up an introverts worst nightmare – forced social interaction in the name of good parenting.

The 92-year-old who's a great-great-great-grandmother

A 92-year-old Canadian woman has become a great-great-great grandmother this week after the family welcomed a baby boy.

The Pramrolla mimics a walk in the park to help your baby get to sleep

Simply put the pram brake on, set the wheels on top of the Pramrolla, plug it in and off they go ... or so they think.

Beyonce shares surreal pregnancy photo shoot

Pop superstar Beyonce on Thursday released a slew of photos of herself posing pregnant and nude.

Airport staff order mum to squeeze her breasts to prove she's lactating

A Singaporean mum of two has spoken about her humiliation at the hands of German airport security guards who ordered her to prove she could breastfeed.

How to keep your baby or toddler safe at home

Child-proofing tips that will ensure your home remains a safe haven for curious toddlers and babies on the move.

Told to get rid of their dogs, this expectant couple took the sweetest photos instead

When the couple conceived their first human child they came under enormous pressure to give up their dogs.

Bereaved parents take baby home for 'family time' after death, thanks to cuddle cot

A bereaved mother has spoken about her decision to take her daughter's body home to spend time as a family before her funeral.

'Get off your phone!': the daycare note that's got people talking

A note posted by a US daycare facility has urged parents to get off their phone when collecting their children:

Babysitter's creative 'hands-free' baby carrier hack

We've all been there – you need to hold the baby, but you also need to eat.

Will these be the most on-trend baby names of 2017?

Nameberry has crunched the numbers, predicting which monikers will see a rise in 2017.

Firefighter adopts the baby he helped deliver

Five years ago firefighter Marc Hadden took an emergency call that changed his life.

Mum shares graphic image to highlight importance of rear-facing car seats for kids

A British safety blogger has shared a graphic photo of the damage a seatbelt can do in a car accident in a bid to persuade more parents to use rear-facing car seats for as long as possible with their kids.

Pharrell Williams and his wife welcome triplets

Now that's a good way to start the new year.

Turn yourself into a child's climbing gym with this wearable vest

It's such a neat idea for those living in high density apartment blocks where children may struggle to get enough physical activity.

Bugaboo unveils its new Bugaboo Bee5

The lightweight and compact Bugaboo Bee has been on the scene for a decade now.

The first few weeks of pregnancy: surreal, scary, exciting

It is okay to be worried, nervous, anxious, in love and happy all at the same time.

 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Articles

Advertisement
 
 
 

From our network

Essential Baby & Toddler Show, presented by Blackmores

3-5 March 2017, Brisbane Convention & Exhibition Centre. Get your FREE ticket now. Save $20.

Your child's fine motor skills: what you should know

There is less of a focus on fine motor skills, but they're just as important as others. (SPONSORED)

5 ways music helps your toddler's development

There are at least five other compelling reasons to get musical around your toddler. (SPONSORED)

 

Free ticket offer

Essential Baby & Toddler Show, presented by Blackmores

3-5 March 2017, Brisbane Convention & Exhibition Centre. Get your FREE ticket now. Save $20.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.