Jump to content

MC? the day of my first MC EDD
How to deal with it?


  • Please log in to reply
2 replies to this topic

#1 hillplain

Posted 17 February 2013 - 05:05 PM

Hi Lovely ladies,

Some of you would know my story however I will put it down here to get it out. Hope you don't mind the length....

DH and I have been TTC for 7 years (5 in earnest). We learnt last year that his sperm has some morphology issues (only 2% any good) and the only way was with ICSI/IVF. So not being ones to waste any more time we leapt into the process. First cycle we learnt that I was a poor responder. only 3 eggs, 2 fert and no frosties. Transfered 1 on day 3. Made it to 11.5 weeks and learnt that we had a MMC. Passed a fair porpotion of this at home then D&C.
On to cycle 2 (we were just unlucky) same story. Upped dose of Gonal F and away we go. Same result at 9 weeks, only discovered this 2 days before leaving for New Zealand on a work trip. D&C day after US. Stupid GP didnt send anything off for testing.

Now there is cycle 3. Many tests, no really issues except my thyroid a bit inconsistant. Different drugs to try to get better quality. Result. 6 eggs, 5 fert then rapid deterioration. Transfered 2 at day 3 of not great quality. Nothing frozen.
Got late +ve HPT. BT on the 14/2 (which I didn't get results from until 15/2) shows HCG 90 and terribly low progesterone. Up the dose of progesterone. I have spotted Fri Night, all day Sat and finally a bright red bleed (not a lot though) today.

Whilst I am sadly getting used to the idea of MC my main problem is that the day that I have to have my next BT is tomorrow - the day that I was supposed to be having our first child. My heart is breaking here and I just don't know what to do.

I know deep down that there is nothing that I can do to change nor stop this. I am 36 and my clock is ticking. I am terribly frightened of another cycle and MC but what choice do we really have? I am frightened that if I wait too long that the quality of my eggs will decrease even more and that we will have even less chance. If we cycle again soon I am frightened that we will crack up 4MC in less than 12months. I am frightened that we will never have children and that I don't have the strength to do this.

Thankyou for reading my story.

#2 Princesspeachzz

Posted 18 February 2013 - 08:16 PM

Hill plain, I feel your pain. Am also the same age and similar situation. Ivf. Mc the first after ivf at only 5w, second just shy of 18w. (Complications thru amnio.) Had a third FET in between, but no luck there. Though I still have some frosties. Have only just physically gotten over the most recent MC and I think mentally the best help has been seeing a psychologist. She's been able to help me with the fear of the unknown and has helped me see some hope for the future. (Am right back to square one and hope to do another ivf round in April) I'm so terrified of losing another baby. Don't think I could go thru another funeral. But I know I have to try to see a future or else what's the point of going on. The psychologist has been able to teach me some relaxation techniques to help me cope with the stress. She also gets me to write down my negative thoughts and feelings. I initially felt such pain and loss with no hope for any success in the future. When you write down the negative things, such as this will never work for me, then try to find a more rational positive thought, such it could work for me. By writing down your emotions, then it helps your mind sort out your thoughts and resolve stress.  Maybe your GP could refer you to someone? (Thru the medics mental health plan you can get some Medicare covered sessions). Im also fearful of trying ivf again after this last mc. so desperate to have my first baby and honestly so jealous of my friends who have had success. why can,t it just work for me. But need to find strength to continue this journey. So if you need to talk, pm me. You,re definitely not alone. original.gif

#3 Zanobia

Posted 19 February 2013 - 12:07 PM

Hillplain I know a lot of what you are feeling right now! Our MC EDD was the 1st of March and I'm waiting for the call today to tell me if our first FET worked or not.

After talking to counsellors (from work's program and the SIDS ones) I don't know if I could ever go through a stim cycle again...the fear of another round of OHSS is too much. I'm lucky as I had some frozen ones, though two were lost, I still have the one I hopefully have onboard and 3 others. I would recommend talking to a professional, I know SIDS has a 24 hour bereavement support line that might help you 1300 308 307.

My MC was late and heartbreaking, I still think about it everyday and feel the loss as keenly. DH has moved on, he isn't one to dwell on things, but I am. Apart from him, my parents and this forum, I wont be telling any one else until we hit 16 weeks (if we do, trying to be positive is hard)...

I had my bleeds with my loss and was told that there was no reason to worry, it can be many things (like the progesterone can upset the cervix etc etc)...so here's hoping you are okay and this is your time! I'll be praying for you and hoping we both end up in a nice happier due date buddy group soon.

That your GP didn't follow up properly is sh*tty, I know so many MCs are unexplained (like ours) but when you're already involved in fertility treatment, no evidence should be ignored! Any chance you can see a different GP in the future? It can be hard to find decent proactive ones sometimes.

Please keep writing, here or just for yourself like Princesspeachzz suggested. I did some writing myself and it helped me clarify what I scared of and eventually find a little perspective.


1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Get your FREE Baby & Toddler Show ticket!

Get your free ticket to the Sydney Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27 - register online now.

Win Love Child Season 1 & 2 on DVD

To celebrate the release of Love Child Season 2 on DVD from July 9, Essential Baby and Universal Sony Pictures Home Entertainment are giving away Love Child Season 1 & 2 on DVD to 13 lucky winners.

10 things I wish my pre-baby self knew

I look back at my pre-baby self and laugh at how ridiculously easy I actually had it. I remember complaining about how tired I was and how little time I had.

Creative ways to store your child's art

Ideas for storing your child's artworks have moved on from sticking them to the fridge door before guiltily dumping them in the bin.

Child abuse ignored because 'it's not your children': Waleed Aly

Waleed Aly takes apart the immigration law that's designed to "protect politicians"

How a newborn niece changed star Australian basketballer's life

In August 2013 star basketball Abby Bishop was 24-years-old and in the prime of her sporting career.

Guilt is my new shadow

No one warned me that when I gave birth there would be an additional side order of guilt.

12 brilliant Ikea hacks for kids’ rooms

Check out these creative upcycling ideas that transform regular Ikea items into something special for your little ones.

Child's nightmare about 'man with a light' turned out to be real

For three days, a three-year-old boy had been saying there was "a man with a light" outside his window at night.

Toilet truths after giving birth

The thought of going to the toilet after giving birth is often feared, but there are ways to make it less painful.

Woman asks strangers for $1 million to stop her having an abortion

An anonymous woman is taking an extreme moral and ethical stand by seeking $1 million in donations to prevent her going ahead with a planned abortion.

How a woman's dying wish made another woman a mum

"I kind of think about, 'What did I do beforehand? What kept me so busy back then?' Because now I'm really busy."

The parenting do-over: what six parents did differently second time around

In playgrounds across Australia, you can hear parents lamenting, "When we have our next baby I swear I won't be doing THAT again".

A solo birth, a wasp swarm and a forest fire: mum and baby's amazing story of survival

Desperate, out of petrol and low on food, a new mother lit a fire in the hope of attracting attention.

Boy found on swing died of hypothermia and dehydration, autopsy finds

The story was chilling and heartbreaking: a three-year-old boy was found dead in a Southern Maryland park, his mother pushing him on the swing.

Child's play and laughter help battle fatigue

Feeling fatigued? Uh-huh, thought as much. Join the queue.

Dad shares entertaining 'how to hold a baby' clip

For many new dads, their own child is the first baby they have ever held. So one dad has posted an instructive YouTube video titled "How to Hold a Baby".

The Australian baby with 100,000 Facebook fans

She may be only eight months old, but Egypt has already amassed more than 100,000 fans and received a letter from royalty - Hollywood royalty that is.

Tongue tie: what you need to know

Tongue and lip tie can lead to many problems for babies - and their parents. Here are the signs of tongue tie and how it's treated.

My daughter is small but that doesn't matter

My daughter may be small, but it's my job as her parent to refocus back where it belongs - on who she is as a person

Wet wipes linked to rise in allergic reactions

The government has issued a health warning after a rise in allergic skin reactions has been linked to a preservative found in some wet wipes.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

27 funny ultrasound pictures

Ultrasounds give you a look at your growing baby ... and sometimes what appears to their womb-buddy, or your bub in an amusing position.

What all parents should know about safe babywearing

A picture of Ryan Reynolds always gets the girls talking, and a recently shared photo has done exactly that - but this time, it's for all the wrong reasons.

Baby's head shape reveals potentially fatal condition

Thinking her baby just had an unusually shaped head, a mother was shocked to discover it was instead linked to a dangerous condition.

Why IVF success rates may not be what you think

Transparency, accountability and responsibilityare essential measures to protect IVF vulnerable patients.

Mother-in-law 'from hell' inspires survival guide

The happily ever after Nicola Milan had imagined wasn't to be – and she blames her mother-in-law.

Owning a pair of nail scissors does not make me a hairdresser

It's been a whole year since sleeping in until 10am. A whole year since having a peaceful shower.

The 83 children who were tragically let down in the last decade

Over a 10-year period, 83 children died from domestic violence abuse in NSW, with three quarters of the victims aged five years or under, the NSW Ombudsman has revealed.

Is it reasonable to expect your partner to give up drinking in pregnancy?

From the moment that I fell pregnant with my son, I realised just how much my life had already started to change.

Stroke victim joins class action against makers of popular contraceptive pill

"I was terrified I would always be this way. The pill needs to come with a much higher warning."

Sexy time

Why you should get excited about scheduling sex

Unfortunately, the belief that sex should always be spontaneous is a myth. It just isn't.

When newborn photoshoots get messy

When it comes to newborn photoshoots, it is all about the timing.

Expert Q&A: Gross motor skill development in toddlers and preschoolers

Dr Katie Heathershaw answers questions about jumping, toe walking, riding a bike and being pigeon toed.

'Samuel is our firstborn, and he will never be forgotten'

Having lost their firstborn at one day old, the Carrolls were overjoyed to welcome their daughter Isobel into the world a year later.

Dad takes miraculous catch while feeding baby

One American father has taken multitasking to a new level at a Cubs-Dodgers baseball game at Wrigley Field.

Name your baby Quinoa, win a $10K gift card

Choosing a name for your little bundle of joy is always a major decision. It can be something traditional, trendy, creative … or inspired by the menu of your favourite chain restaurant.

On the 10th anniversary of my son's death

This day marks a significant day. Today marks 10 years since I lost my son Kai.

'Help - my toddler hits me!'

My toddler has started hitting when he gets frustrated, is feeling ignored, or just thinks it might be fun.

The top 6 misleading parenting terms

From 'morning sickness' to 'the terrible twos', there are many parenting terms that are misleading.

When 'good' nannies go bad

While most nannies take pride in their work, there can be some who have a hidden side.

Woman hospitalised for skinny jeans injury

Beware: skinny jeans might be bad for your health.

Gauze seeding: the bacteria-breeding birth trend

A number of women having caesarean deliveries are now taking steps to give their baby a better 'microbiome' start in life.

Jimmy Fallon writes new children's book for dads

Jimmy Fallon, host of NBC's The Tonight Show, recently wrote a children's book about every father's secret wish for their baby's first word to be "dada" - not "mama".

28 names for babies born in winter

Looking for some baby name inspiration for a bub born during the colder months? Here are 28 options from around the world to consider.

 

FREE TICKET

Get your FREE ticket to the Baby & Toddler Show

Get your free ticket to the Sydney Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27 - register online now.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.