Jump to content

MC? the day of my first MC EDD
How to deal with it?


  • Please log in to reply
2 replies to this topic

#1 hillplain

Posted 17 February 2013 - 05:05 PM

Hi Lovely ladies,

Some of you would know my story however I will put it down here to get it out. Hope you don't mind the length....

DH and I have been TTC for 7 years (5 in earnest). We learnt last year that his sperm has some morphology issues (only 2% any good) and the only way was with ICSI/IVF. So not being ones to waste any more time we leapt into the process. First cycle we learnt that I was a poor responder. only 3 eggs, 2 fert and no frosties. Transfered 1 on day 3. Made it to 11.5 weeks and learnt that we had a MMC. Passed a fair porpotion of this at home then D&C.
On to cycle 2 (we were just unlucky) same story. Upped dose of Gonal F and away we go. Same result at 9 weeks, only discovered this 2 days before leaving for New Zealand on a work trip. D&C day after US. Stupid GP didnt send anything off for testing.

Now there is cycle 3. Many tests, no really issues except my thyroid a bit inconsistant. Different drugs to try to get better quality. Result. 6 eggs, 5 fert then rapid deterioration. Transfered 2 at day 3 of not great quality. Nothing frozen.
Got late +ve HPT. BT on the 14/2 (which I didn't get results from until 15/2) shows HCG 90 and terribly low progesterone. Up the dose of progesterone. I have spotted Fri Night, all day Sat and finally a bright red bleed (not a lot though) today.

Whilst I am sadly getting used to the idea of MC my main problem is that the day that I have to have my next BT is tomorrow - the day that I was supposed to be having our first child. My heart is breaking here and I just don't know what to do.

I know deep down that there is nothing that I can do to change nor stop this. I am 36 and my clock is ticking. I am terribly frightened of another cycle and MC but what choice do we really have? I am frightened that if I wait too long that the quality of my eggs will decrease even more and that we will have even less chance. If we cycle again soon I am frightened that we will crack up 4MC in less than 12months. I am frightened that we will never have children and that I don't have the strength to do this.

Thankyou for reading my story.

#2 Princesspeachzz

Posted 18 February 2013 - 08:16 PM

Hill plain, I feel your pain. Am also the same age and similar situation. Ivf. Mc the first after ivf at only 5w, second just shy of 18w. (Complications thru amnio.) Had a third FET in between, but no luck there. Though I still have some frosties. Have only just physically gotten over the most recent MC and I think mentally the best help has been seeing a psychologist. She's been able to help me with the fear of the unknown and has helped me see some hope for the future. (Am right back to square one and hope to do another ivf round in April) I'm so terrified of losing another baby. Don't think I could go thru another funeral. But I know I have to try to see a future or else what's the point of going on. The psychologist has been able to teach me some relaxation techniques to help me cope with the stress. She also gets me to write down my negative thoughts and feelings. I initially felt such pain and loss with no hope for any success in the future. When you write down the negative things, such as this will never work for me, then try to find a more rational positive thought, such it could work for me. By writing down your emotions, then it helps your mind sort out your thoughts and resolve stress.  Maybe your GP could refer you to someone? (Thru the medics mental health plan you can get some Medicare covered sessions). Im also fearful of trying ivf again after this last mc. so desperate to have my first baby and honestly so jealous of my friends who have had success. why can,t it just work for me. But need to find strength to continue this journey. So if you need to talk, pm me. You,re definitely not alone. original.gif

#3 Zanobia

Posted 19 February 2013 - 12:07 PM

Hillplain I know a lot of what you are feeling right now! Our MC EDD was the 1st of March and I'm waiting for the call today to tell me if our first FET worked or not.

After talking to counsellors (from work's program and the SIDS ones) I don't know if I could ever go through a stim cycle again...the fear of another round of OHSS is too much. I'm lucky as I had some frozen ones, though two were lost, I still have the one I hopefully have onboard and 3 others. I would recommend talking to a professional, I know SIDS has a 24 hour bereavement support line that might help you 1300 308 307.

My MC was late and heartbreaking, I still think about it everyday and feel the loss as keenly. DH has moved on, he isn't one to dwell on things, but I am. Apart from him, my parents and this forum, I wont be telling any one else until we hit 16 weeks (if we do, trying to be positive is hard)...

I had my bleeds with my loss and was told that there was no reason to worry, it can be many things (like the progesterone can upset the cervix etc etc)...so here's hoping you are okay and this is your time! I'll be praying for you and hoping we both end up in a nice happier due date buddy group soon.

That your GP didn't follow up properly is sh*tty, I know so many MCs are unexplained (like ours) but when you're already involved in fertility treatment, no evidence should be ignored! Any chance you can see a different GP in the future? It can be hard to find decent proactive ones sometimes.

Please keep writing, here or just for yourself like Princesspeachzz suggested. I did some writing myself and it helped me clarify what I scared of and eventually find a little perspective.


1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

WIN an exclusive performance from Sam Moran!

To celebrate the release of children?s musical series Play Along with Sam, out now on DVD, we?re giving one lucky parent the chance to have Sam perform at their child?s pre-school or day care!

Toddler freed after getting trapped in escalator

A shopping centre escalator needed to be pulled apart to free a toddler's trapped hand.

Why I'm kind of excited about my daughter's nits

Is it weird to say that I am secretly thrilled to find that my daughter Edie has nits?

Baby born at 10:11 on 12-13-14

Well, it's actually 13-12-14 to us over here. But still, Clare Elizabeth Keane's consecutive numerical birth time is pretty special.

On holding tightly and loving fiercely

We can't live in fear. This post is about Christmas and how at this time we should be celebrating life and grateful for what we have: our loved ones who we cherish fiercely.

Babies, relatives and coping with Christmas day

Everyone will love your baby but your baby may not be so happy to be passed around a lot of new people - nor may you want to feed with an audience.

Why I won't be posting pictures of my baby on Facebook

There are pros and cons to this policy.

The myths and truths of gender swaying

Here are a few popular methods hopeful parents-to-be use to try to get a baby of their preferred gender – and what an expert says about whether they really work.

10 easy DIY Christmas decoration ideas

It's officially time to get into the Christmas spirit. Why not branch out when you put up your tree this year and add a personal touch with a few DIY decorations? We've found the perfect easy-to-make ways to put more festive fever into your home.

The dangerous new trend of glucose challenge test refusal

A dangerous trend is seeing more mothers-to-be declining a relatively simple and painless test to check for gestational diabetes.

Office of Fair Trading reveals naughty toys ahead of Christmas

The Office of Fair Trading has pulled seven toys from shelves ahead of Christmas after they fail safety tests.

Video: Baby boy's trouble with twins

These twin girls will no doubt have fun fooling people in years to come, but nobody will be as confused as baby Landon.

Long-term reversible male contraceptive on its way

Men could soon have access to an injectable long-term contraceptive which works in a similar way to a vasectomy but promises to be easily reversed.

'I tried to kill my baby': one mum's story

After bathing and dressing her three-month-old son, Amanda had a rare moment alone with her baby.

Attack of the 'mummy brain'

I feel that almost every day, someone in my life - be they a friend, family member or complete stranger - feels the need to excuse my behaviour as I have other things on my mind.

Mum of baby who fell ill after drinking raw milk speaks out

A Melbourne mother has described how her son turned grey when he became seriously ill after drinking raw milk.

Australian divorce rate lowest since 1976

Modern newlyweds are now well into their 30s and marriage still offers something powerful a new book argues.

The aftermath of a traumatic birth experience

In Australia, 30 per cent of women find their birth experience traumatic, with 6 per cent going on to develop post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Young mum burns 'from inside-out'

A young mum is in intensive care after she took a friend's antibiotic and wound up with an ailment that is burning her body 'from the inside-out'.

The disagreement that can break a relationship

If he doesn't change his mind, all I can hope is that I will. It would be a waste to spend the rest of my marriage mourning a baby that never was.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Co-sleeping or no-sleeping? Mum videos worst nap ever

One mother's futile attempt to sleep in caught on camera in a hilarious - and very cute - video.

Why children misbehave during the festive season

While we all like to imagine the holiday season as being a fun, loving and bonding experience; often our reality is quiet different.

I was fat-shamed by my doctor

The fear of being weighed is the most significant factor in women cancelling medical appointments - and now weight-shaming has happened to me.

End of an era: no more childcare

As we reach the end of 2014, we're closing the book on many things for another year, most notably childcare. Our last child has attended childcare for the very last time.

WIN an exclusive performance from Sam Moran!

To celebrate the release of children?s musical series Play Along with Sam, out now on DVD, we?re giving one lucky parent the chance to have Sam perform at their child?s pre-school or day care!

The 7-year itch is more like the 10-year itch: study

Contrary to popular belief, making it past the seven-year mark doesn't mean your marriage will be smooth sailing from there on.

Should children be forced to sit on Santa's lap?

We teach kids it’s okay to say no if they don’t feel safe, so why do some parents force their children to climb in to Santa's lap?

Stop telling us that parenting gets harder

I’m sure that parenting will get harder. But life isn’t exactly smooth sailing for many of us right now, either.

Baby born weighing almost 14 pounds

Yes, the bouncing baby girl was born by caesarean section. And mum says no more kids.

The dummy debate

I'm the first to admit that when I used to see tiny babies with dummies in their mouths, I thought "Hmm, lazy parenting." And now I apologise.

'I thought I was an only child'

Imagine meeting your double at a school sports event, or regularly being mistaken for someone you haven't met. Separated twins Margaret and Joy tell their story.

Carers admit to force-feeding children

As Sydney grieves the loss of Sydney siege victims Katrina Dawson and Tori Johnson, reports have suggested that both died as heroes.

 

How many weeks til Christmas?

On your To-Do list

Get the "Santa" shopping done without the kids in tow.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.