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Help getting a routine

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#1 altered1991

Posted 16 February 2013 - 11:13 PM

Hi Everyone

My partner and I have been having a bit of trouble trying to get our son to start sleeping in his own bed he is 15 months old.
We haven't had him sleeping in his cot since he was about 3 months old, my partner found it easier to breastfeed him while she lay with him and it ended up being the only way to get him to sleep. Now he isn't breastfeeding but he still refuses to go to sleep on his own. When bed time comes around we lay him in the cot hand him his bottle but as soon as we turn away he is on his feet screaming. Family have said you have to let them cry it out but after about 5 minutes hes to the point of dry reaching.
Now we really need him in his cot and in a regular routine as we have baby number 2 due on 31/03/13.
Any help would be greatly appreciated.


#2 Feral-as-Meggs

Posted 17 February 2013 - 12:58 PM

I think you are expecting too much of your little one to make the change all in one go, and with a deadline.  Its a big deal to sleep pn your own, when all you have ever known is sleeping all warm safe and cozy with the people he loves and trusts best.   Of course he's going to protest, cry and get distressed - any sensible person would when they were happy with the way things were, and want them back that way.  

Maybe you could look at a gradual method like this:  


Maybe also contact a sleep school like Tresillian for some phone advice.

#3 Marchioness Flea

Posted 17 February 2013 - 01:16 PM

You can't just dump him in the cot and walk out. That will NEVER work!
Have you got a nightime routine? If not, get one!
For example:
Quiet playtime
Books in his room in dim light. I read 3 books while my 2yr old sits on my lap, or at my feet.
Tell him it's bedtime now and he has to lie down and get to sleep.
Sit with him for a amount of time if he lies down and doesn't stand up. We have a digital clock in our daughter's room and we say we'll stay until the last number is X(5 mins, so if it's 9.20, then the last number will be a 5)
IF he stands up and starts screaming, then you can tell him you'll leave the room. My SiL does that with her son, she tells him she'll sit with him IF he lies quietly and doesn't carry on.

Have a nightlight in case he's scared of the dark.
Tell him (after 5 or 10 mins) that you'll come back to check on him in 5 minutes and KEEP YOUR WORD!
And it will take time, he may also regress a bit with the new baby.

#4 Marchioness Flea

Posted 17 February 2013 - 01:17 PM

Also, can he sleep on the floor in your room on a mattress for a while in transition?
He is going to feel he's been booted out for the baby, which in effect he has, so it won't be easy.

#5 sophiasmum

Posted 18 February 2013 - 11:34 AM

You can ring sleep schools like Tresillian for advice, they might even do a home visit otherwise they can definitely give you advice over the phone. They have been invaluable for all of my babies.

#6 PurpleNess

Posted 19 February 2013 - 12:34 PM

I'd suggest try moving the cot into your room , right up next to mums side of the bed so he can smell, see & hear you. Then once he's sleeping well you can start moving the cot away from the bed & eventually into his own room but it may take several weeks/months so be prepared.

You can not just pop him into his cot & hope for the best, he is scared, confused & has no idea what is going on. Also giving him a bottle in his cot is not recommended.

He's old enough to understand what you are saying to him but you have to guide him & let him know that he's safe etc.
So start with a bed time routine. Dinner, bath, bottle, books, bag ( sleeping bag) then bed.  All through this routine you will be recognizing babies tired cues & acknowledging them 'Yes bubba is tired, just going to have a bottle & some stories then into bed", be sure to repeat this type of thing ' now it's time for stories,then bed etc'

Don't put him into his cot until he is nice a calm, continue t talk him through it ' time for nigh nighs' etc.

You could try sitting next to the cot & singing twinkle twinkle or something similar until he settles, it may take some time but he just need to know that you are there. Keep asking him to lie down & go night nighs in a calm but no nonsense tone.

Be patient & consistent. Good Luck.

#7 ekbaby

Posted 19 February 2013 - 12:47 PM

Great advice up above.

Will your partner be breastfeeding the new baby? If so, could you take over more of the bedtime routine with #1?

We have 2 children (4 yrs and 15 months) and one of us still stays with the 4yr old until he goes to sleep at night- this has just become my partners role since our #2 was born.

Provided that he's had an active day, followed by the same calm pre-bed routine (bath, PJs on, one book in bed, drink of water, then lights out/sleepy music on), and he's well, this usually doesn't take too long.

With a 15 month old I would probably try cuddling them in a rocking chair for a bit, putting them in the cot when sleepy, etc.

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