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How did you feel when your baby/toddler weaned?
19 replies to this topic
Posted 16 February 2013 - 10:32 PM
I think my breastfeeding journey with DS is about to end. We are down to one feed during the day before his nap and one feed at night before bed. Sometimes he doesnt have boob for his day nap though. He was a complete boobaholic so I never thought this day would come.
I don't actually think I have any milk at the moment and he doesn't suckle for long, just latches on and then falls asleep.
I have found being pregnant and breastfeeding mostly painful but it has improved over the last few weeks.
I was talking to a couple of mums, one who has a boy who is a month older than mine and she said she will be "devastated" when her son weans and at the moment she loves the fact that his main source of food is still breastmilk (he is 17 months).
Another mum said she felt sad but wasn't heartbroken when her 19 month old weaned.
If you had asked me a few months ago I would have said "I can't ****ing wait to finish breastfeeding" because DS was latched on all night, waking 2 hourly, needed to be fed to sleep and still feeding ten million times a day and night, plus the pain meant I was completely fed up.
Now that his sleep has improved and we aren't feeding much, I wonder if I should just wean him completely as I probably could get him to sleep without boob. I'm not devastated that our journey is ending but I there is something holding me back from weaning. I'm not sure what.
How did you feel when your breastfeeding journey ended? How old was your baby/toddler?
Posted 16 February 2013 - 10:41 PM
I loved our breastfeeding journey, however I opened an expensive bottle of champagne when it ended at 14 months. We did not pre plan it, we had reduced to the bedtime feed as I went back to work at 11 months and one night we just read stories instead and sort of forgot. Like a natural end.
Did drink a lot of wine the week after
Posted 16 February 2013 - 10:44 PM
DD is 25 months and is on one feed a day. At Christmas time she was demanding to be fed all the time and I was absolutely driving me insane. I had to start weaning her through the day otherwise it was tantrum after tantrum plus I had the idea in my head that I would like to wean her around 2. I then cut her morning feed which was a lot easier in comparison. I am still hanging on to this last feed as much as her I think! I do plan to cut out her night feed by the middle of the year. I feel sad about weaning her, rather like the feeling when I think of her going to school or something like that. It is more to do with the realisation she is growing up and no longer a baby.
Posted 16 February 2013 - 10:56 PM
My son recently weaned himself at just a smidge over 21 months. He had been down to a feed before bed and a morning feed for a few months, then fairly abruptly stopped his night feed and had only a morning feed for a couple of months, and then abruptly stopped his morning feed and hasn't looked back.
I had some mixed emotions, but overall it was a positive experience. We had a very tough start to breastfeeding and I worked damned hard and had a lot of great support to establish it. I had very much wanted to make it to two years as per the WHO guidelines, so felt a little disappointed, but used the time when he was dropping feeds to 'prepare' myself that we would likely not be getting to the two year mark. (I generally don't deal well with not meeting goals I set for myself- parenting has been a challenge haha!) I think some bum advice I received from a baby clinic nurse when he started solids may have had a flow on effect which resulted in the weaning prior to tow years, and I made my peace with the idea that I did the best I could with the info I had at the time.
My overwhelming feeling though, is being pleased that he had stopped in his own time, when it must have felt right for him. Now that he's done, I'm also noticing a small but distinct change in feeling like my body is just mine again- no worrying about what I'm eating or drinking or putting on my skin etc. And also enjoying a little less physical drain, as I think even when it was only once a day it still put another demand on my energy levels, although small.
I hope that helps. Congrats on feeding this far
Posted 16 February 2013 - 11:03 PM
I struggled to BF my first baby and I was sad to stop at 5 months, but it was definitely the right decision. I weaned #2 at 11 months so that I could have a minor operation, which didn't end up happening then because I found out I was pregnant with #3 just beforehand. I BF #3 to 17 months. By that stage, it was a morning feed and an evening feed, and one day when she fussed over the morning feed, I just thought that I'd had enough. At that point, I'd been pregnant and/or breast feeding for over 3.5 years and I was ready. I gave her one more short feed about 3 days later (for my benefit, not hers) and that was it.
Posted 16 February 2013 - 11:09 PM
I didn't care either way - with all three. It was a non event really.
Posted 16 February 2013 - 11:13 PM
DS is 12 months and I can't see myself weaning any time soon. Just today he came down with a bit of a cold/flu and I was so thankful I was still breastfeeding! Or yesterday, when he crawled under the dining table and then abruptly stood up, slamming his head into the tabletop, I put him on the boob before we had a chance to start screaming, and no tears! It's just such a magic cure-all.
And to be honest, I love how he snuggles into me, all curled in, still such a baby. I know I will miss these quiet, snuggly times! He never stops otherwise.
Posted 17 February 2013 - 07:22 PM
My son is dropping his last feed (bedtime). Refused it about a week ago, and fell asleep easily. Wanted it again for 5 nights, said no last night, cried for an hour (despite cuddling, patting etc) then asked for it and fell asleep, refused tonight, cried but finally settled with patting. I'm happy/sad for the usual reasons, but also really upset that we are back to crying at bedtime. It does my head in.
Posted 17 February 2013 - 07:30 PM
DS fed until i was 6 months pregnant, and then DD fed until 17-ish months, so i spent a good 4.5 years being either pregnant, breastfeeding or a combo of both, and i was ready to have my body back
Posted 17 February 2013 - 07:32 PM
I was very surprised how emotional I was. I reluctantly weaned at 14 months to go back for more IVF. I felt anxious the whole week leading up to our final feed. It was his lunchtime BF that he always fed to sleep for. I cried throughout the feed, he fell asleep in my arms and when I put him in his cot I walked out of the room and sobbed. We really struggled at the start and I honestly, truly loathed breastfeeding. I could never have imagined how much I would come to treasure it and how very sad I would feel 14 months later at our very last feed. It was a very bittersweet moment.
Posted 17 February 2013 - 08:59 PM
My DS weaned himself at around 14 months (I was in the second trimester of pregnancy #2). I cried my eyes out, but that could have been the hormones adding to the emotion! I was sad, but I had another baby on the way so I knew it wouldn't be long before I'd be breastfeeding again.
My DD is now 12 months (and I'm 24 weeks pg with #3) and I think she's losing interest so will probably wean herself in the next month or two.
I think I'll be fine this time around, but when my last baby weans.... BIG tears, it will be a sad day and I'm not looking forward to it.
Posted 17 February 2013 - 09:04 PM
Hmmm....kind of a non-event for me, too.
I wanted to breastfeed until DD was two years old. Turns out that I got pregnant at a time which coincided with her happily forgetting about feeds, so we've fully weaned now at 22 months old. I'm happy with that and feel like I've pretty much met my goal.
Edited by aleithaki, 17 February 2013 - 09:05 PM.
Posted 17 February 2013 - 09:08 PM
I had a radioactive treatment which effectively rendered my breast milk undrinkable. DS was 16 months and I burst into tears. My health was also poor, so I was emotionally low.
DD was 14 months and self weaned; I loved feeding but was ok for it to end. I thought I'd be more emotional, but after feeding for almost 3 years and being pregnant for 18 months.... I liked my body back!
Posted 17 February 2013 - 09:23 PM
I was so happy when I stopped BF'ding. I felt like I had my body back and could think about me for a change. DS was much happier as well and always loved his bottles so it made things a lot easier when I stopped feeding him myself.
Posted 17 February 2013 - 09:24 PM
My hormones went crackerdog and I ended up with PND each time. DS2 is down to one feed - at bedtime - and as much as I'd like to end it, I'm dreading how my body will react.
Posted 17 February 2013 - 10:14 PM
Mixed feelings for me, I was in the grip of depression and dd suddenly refused to breastfeed at 8 months of age, for the weeks I tried to get her back on the breast I felt so sad and frightened too (she wouldn't take bottle or cup so had milk in all food).
I ended up continuing to express and give her my milk and my feelings changed over time, I got used to not breast feeding, up till then I had limited other settling techniques other than the breast.
Over time my confidence grew and I felt I had learned lots of new ways to relate to dd and enjoyed not breast feeding in one way, seeing her eventually take a cup and eat well.
But there is still some residual sadness at how weaning happened, at what could have been.
Once I stopped expressing it was another layer of freedom that I also appreciated.
Mixed feelings and responses.
All the best Sunnycat.
Posted 17 February 2013 - 10:35 PM
I thought I'd be more sad than I was actually.
But it was a LONG drawn out process starting at me cutting down her feeds bit by bit then her stopping asking for the last feed eventually.
My daughter was always asking for it but i KNEW she didn't NEED to BF every 2 hours when she was 18 months old, it was a habit for her in some ways, and me too I guess.
I started by cutting night feeds at 18 months, then cut her down to 4 feeds a day, then 3 then 2 over the course of 9 or so months. till she was down to one feed first thing in the morning.
This last Christmas she didn't ask for a feed every day, maybe 2 or 3 times a week, then after new year, I said no, she's nearly 3, she doesn't need milk from me anymore and it was done.
I did enjoy our breast feeding journey, it was really easy for me and her, and I won't be having anymore babies, but it was time to end it and we're ok
She only asked for a feed maybe 3 times after I decided to fully stop, and she got over it within a minute or 2 each time so I knew she was good to wean fully.
All up, I think it took me 12 months easy to fully wean her so it wasn't sudden or unexpected.
She'll be 3 in April. I fed her longer than I was going to, I was going to stop at 2, but we both enjoyed it so I kept going.
Posted 17 February 2013 - 10:38 PM
I was definitely sad for at least 2 weeks. I worried about how it would affect the bond between DD and I.
If you get sad, just remind yourself that you'll have another little baby to feed soon. It will be a brief reprieve so enjoy it while you can
Posted 17 February 2013 - 10:44 PM
It's nice to read other people's experiences.
I think I could push DS to stop if I really wanted to, sometimes I am finding it really painful and I don't actually think I have any milk at the moment anyway. I'm not devastated but I feel like I should be sadder than I am. I think if he were my last I might be more sad but I think I'll be doing this all over again in a few months so maybe that's why I'm kind of "meh" about it.
We've had a really easy breastfeeding journey and we a incredibly close, but I don't think our bond has anything to do with our breastfeeding as DS is a really affectionate and cuddly little boy.
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