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My weird 4yo
Anyone else got one too?


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12 replies to this topic

#1 lafonda

Posted 16 February 2013 - 12:17 PM

This is kind of fluff and kind of a serious question.

DS turned 4 in December. The last month or so he has been acting kind of bizarre, I'm not sure if it's normal for all kids, normal for boys, or if I have a strange child.

He will tell you things that he says happened, but didn't, he's not lying, he really believes it. I suspect maybe he is just starting to remember his dreams.

His imagination has gone into overdrive. Strange stories about going to the pub for a beer on his own. Really fascinated by aliens. The aliens caused a bruise on his arm, because they tried to eat his skin, but they don't talk to him.  

Will tell one person something, but no one else because he would rather it stay a secret. That person isn't the same all the time.

Has become clingy. Towards everyone, just does not like to be alone.

Is really tired, wakes up between midnight and 1am every night and takes ages to go back to sleep. Will go back to sleep on the couch, just has to be near you.

There is more, but this is getting long.

So tell me, normal or not?

Thank you

#2 seepi

Posted 16 February 2013 - 12:31 PM

My 4 year old tells constant stories about his friend from daycare who he hasnt' seen in 5  months since he moved daycares.

He says this kid told him how things work, or where things are, or how to do things, and he went camping with him, and went to his house  none of it has ever happened. I thought maybe he was remembering dreams, or it is what he wished had happened. He tells it as if it really happened, but I'm never quite sure if he really thinks it did happen.

Mine is all centred around this friend though, who has almost morphed into an imaginary friend. Yours sounds a bit more involved.

#3 lafonda

Posted 16 February 2013 - 04:14 PM

Thanks for your reply PP.

Anyone else ?

#4 Mmmcheese

Posted 16 February 2013 - 04:28 PM

I'm a kindergarten teacher and I get told some pretty tall stories! I asked one child how her weekend was and got a long, involved story about her brother breaking his leg. He looked fine when he came with mum to pick her up! Asked the mum about it, and he's never had a broken leg! Tall stories happen at this age. I think it's to do with not quite understanding the difference between fact and fiction.

#5 baddmammajamma

Posted 16 February 2013 - 04:39 PM

Hi lafonda:

As I am apt to do, I took a mega-quick peek back at your post history & remembered that your son is also a particularly fussy eater.

You know that my default position is "When in doubt, check it out." If you aren't quite sure whether your son is just a little bit quirky, or whether these things -- the food sensitivities, the elaborate stories, the clinginess -- are somehow related, it wouldn't hurt to get a professional opinion.

Poor little guy sounds freaked out about something. That would be reason enough for me to have him speak to someone who can help him through this patch.

#6 lafonda

Posted 17 February 2013 - 09:31 AM

Thanks BMJ - what am I best to do? Get a referral to a Pediatrician?

What type of thing would they do?

#7 baddmammajamma

Posted 17 February 2013 - 09:55 AM

Hi lafonda:

I usually encourage parents who have "niggling concerns" to get things checked out with a good developmental paed (your GP can refer you).These are specialist paeds who are experts in childhood development and can look across all aspects of your son's profile (physical, behavioural, cognitive, etc.) and see if there are any issues.

Having said that, a developmental paed isn't typically the one actually providing the hands-on therapies and support if there *ARE* issues, like anxiety or compulsive behavior.

Thus, your best bet (in my non-expert opinion) is to take a two-pronged approach (as these professionals quite often work as a team):

1) Consider seeing a good child psychologist, who can help you figure out what might be driving your son's behaviour and help you come up with ways to mitigate some of the challenges (the clinginess, the restlessness). I don't know where you are located, but if you are in Sydney, I would be happy to pass along the names of some practices who support "quirky" kids. original.gif  The wait for a psychologist is likely to be less than with a developmental paed.

2) Also put your name down with a good developmental paed (again, your GP can refer you). Dev paeds almost always have long waiting lists, regardless of whether they are public or private -- so getting the ball rolling there gives you options for the future. If your son outgrows his current issues by the time the appointment rolls around, then you can just cancel. But if things continue to be a bit stressful, especially as you approach the start of school, it's great to have a medical/developmental specialist on your side ready to assess/advise.

For the record, I love quirky kids and don't believe in trying to fundamentally trying to alter their fabric! But when a child has quirks that might be getting in the way of their daily happy functioning, I am a big fan of getting professional guidance.

Edited by baddmammajamma, 17 February 2013 - 10:01 AM.


#8 stressnless9

Posted 17 February 2013 - 10:10 AM

i had an imaginary friend, i could describe her,would talk to her, she needed a seat at the table/car etc. i still remember what she looked like. i had trouble sleeping, would sleep walk, would be frightened, would end up in my parents room all the time and have no idea why i was there, would just sit there staring at them etc (pretty sure i freaked them out all the time) i do wonder if they thought i was a little crazy or something was wrong as we had a large family and i was the only one like this!

i have had a few people say to me (one a clairvoyant) that they very much doubt this was an imaginary friend. I remember moving  house...and my imaginary friend never came with me to the new house. I still find it weird i remember so much about this imaginary friend, although i don't really have an opinion on what she was, i started kindy around that time and maybe that just brought me back to reality? who knows!

I wouldnt worry a hell of a lot right now. SS has a crazy imagination......fell off his bike and scratched his chest but told everyone his brother stabbed him, fell out of the tree but told me the bad man pushed him (only just turned 3) his stories are always 100% NOT true and i wonder where he would ever come up with such stories, but they listen to so much adults,tv,radios etc and i think they find it hard to work out whats real and whats just a story? he is always dead set its true i find his stories have gotten worse since his older brother start full time school....

#9 bloodorange

Posted 06 March 2013 - 12:02 PM

My son is weird/quirky but as BMJ puts it if their are other issues you are concerned about, they may go hand in hand.
My son has issues with foods due to their smells/textures/look.   Doesnt like strong smells, doesnt like handling certain things (again due to texture), certain loud noises scare him (hand dryer).
Is very emotional, cry's for no reason sometimes, very aggressive, bites, scratches, swears and obsessive compulsive behaviours which cause the "bad behaviour" if we interrupt him, telling him to finish what he's doing etc.
Has problems with some motor skills like dressing/undressing, clumsy, many of these negatives start up the many tantrums brought on from frustration of not being perfect at everything.
He's a bit socially awkward, will go up to anyone and stand really close to them and start babbling off about his obsessions.
He's also good at making up stories, once opened up and told us he had an imaginary friend that kept talking to him, but it was a secret and we're not to mention it to anyone, very articulate, at two was assessed at being 1 1/2 yr ahead , joker, wicked sense of humour, has an amazing memory and good at art.

After a referral to OT from develop paed they advised he had sensory processing issues.  We did about 3 sessions of therapy and then I stopped due to finances.  I try to read up and help him where i can.  Some of the issues are really getting out of hand  (behaviour) so we may go back to paed for updated advice.

So yeah if there's more to just weird check it out so you are more aware.

#10 baddmammajamma

Posted 07 March 2013 - 05:45 PM

bloodorange:

You changed your name! I thought your story sounded familiar & when I checked your post history, I figured out why.

At the risk of being super ballsy, I urge you to seek a second opinion re Aspergers or some related issue. I know that the first paed who saw your son, what, 1.5 years ago didn't think so  -- but when I read your update above & the fact that your son is still struggling and that things are getting out of hand, my Asperger mamma bell goes "Ding, ding, ding."

I'm sharing this link below for the benefit of other parents of "weird" kids (I have a major soft spot for them!)
http://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/bhcv2/b...'s_syndrome

As several of us mentioned in your original thread, it is not uncommon for Aspergers/high functioning autism to slip by some doctors. With school on the horizon, the sooner you get a thorough read on what is going on with your son, the better.

I'm really sorry to hear that he is still struggling in some areas. It's hard when you just don't know exactly what's causing the issues.

One thought -- you might want to consider seeing a good clinical psych. Developmental paeds are great at looking across the child's entire developmental profile, but a psych will actually help you develop and implement behavioral management strategies. Plus, if you see a psych who is well versed in ASD, you can have your son assessed by the psych (required in VIC for a formal diagnosis of ASD anyway). In our experience, our daughter's psychologists have always done the deepest probing in the ASD assessments (my daughter has had three formal assessments, due to our moving internationally).

Good luck getting some answers.


#11 item

Posted 07 March 2013 - 06:38 PM

Blood Orange:  I hope you get back to your paed (or a different developmental paed soon).  

Your little one sounds a lot like my son who was dx'd PDD-NOS. He is 3 1/2 now, or 4?  If 4, you've still got 10 months before kindergarten (unless you can delay entry? in which case you'd have another year) to work intensively on his skills and ability to cope.  Do it now, while you still have the opportunity to receive and spend the 12k from the government.

...

Oh bugger it, I was going to be diplomatic but the dev paed you saw sounds like he got caught up in your childs gifts when s/he should have been paying attention to your sons challenges.  Please try to find a different dev paed, or a clinical psych - one who specialises in ASD.  It really sounds like your son could do with some intensive help, label or no label.  If you get the label, you get some cash.  Sad state of affairs that not every child who needs help gets it, but from your description I would be thoroughly re-investigating any possibility of an ASD dx, if only to have a crack at getting the HCWA package.

#12 bloodorange

Posted 09 March 2013 - 10:13 PM

Oh thanks BMJ and Insane for your attention to my post on Lafondas issues as well.
I am going to definitely have our DS4yr old seen by a clinical psych .  I am always saying to myself, and husband and those close to me that there is definitely something wrong. There has to be an explanation as to why so many things are just so difficult to deal with.   At this age you always hear , that kids are difficult and its typical of his age group. My husband thinks he's a typical 4 yr old and that he'll grow out of many of the issues. However he does agree his aggressive behaviour is getting out of control and ONLY because of this has agreed to seek help.
If you or anyone have tried and tested names I'd be very greatful to get a hold of them.
Im located in inner north melbourne suburbs so anything around the city or this side would be great.

thanks again

#13 baddmammajamma

Posted 09 March 2013 - 10:25 PM

bloodorange:
I will PM you some recs. You might also want to start a separate thread either here or on the SNs/Disabilities board, asking for Melbourne-specific recs. I can almost guarantee that you will feel better once you start to get some real answers.




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