Jump to content

My weird 4yo
Anyone else got one too?


  • Please log in to reply
12 replies to this topic

#1 lafonda

Posted 16 February 2013 - 12:17 PM

This is kind of fluff and kind of a serious question.

DS turned 4 in December. The last month or so he has been acting kind of bizarre, I'm not sure if it's normal for all kids, normal for boys, or if I have a strange child.

He will tell you things that he says happened, but didn't, he's not lying, he really believes it. I suspect maybe he is just starting to remember his dreams.

His imagination has gone into overdrive. Strange stories about going to the pub for a beer on his own. Really fascinated by aliens. The aliens caused a bruise on his arm, because they tried to eat his skin, but they don't talk to him.  

Will tell one person something, but no one else because he would rather it stay a secret. That person isn't the same all the time.

Has become clingy. Towards everyone, just does not like to be alone.

Is really tired, wakes up between midnight and 1am every night and takes ages to go back to sleep. Will go back to sleep on the couch, just has to be near you.

There is more, but this is getting long.

So tell me, normal or not?

Thank you

#2 seepi

Posted 16 February 2013 - 12:31 PM

My 4 year old tells constant stories about his friend from daycare who he hasnt' seen in 5  months since he moved daycares.

He says this kid told him how things work, or where things are, or how to do things, and he went camping with him, and went to his house  none of it has ever happened. I thought maybe he was remembering dreams, or it is what he wished had happened. He tells it as if it really happened, but I'm never quite sure if he really thinks it did happen.

Mine is all centred around this friend though, who has almost morphed into an imaginary friend. Yours sounds a bit more involved.

#3 lafonda

Posted 16 February 2013 - 04:14 PM

Thanks for your reply PP.

Anyone else ?

#4 Mmmcheese

Posted 16 February 2013 - 04:28 PM

I'm a kindergarten teacher and I get told some pretty tall stories! I asked one child how her weekend was and got a long, involved story about her brother breaking his leg. He looked fine when he came with mum to pick her up! Asked the mum about it, and he's never had a broken leg! Tall stories happen at this age. I think it's to do with not quite understanding the difference between fact and fiction.

#5 baddmammajamma

Posted 16 February 2013 - 04:39 PM

Hi lafonda:

As I am apt to do, I took a mega-quick peek back at your post history & remembered that your son is also a particularly fussy eater.

You know that my default position is "When in doubt, check it out." If you aren't quite sure whether your son is just a little bit quirky, or whether these things -- the food sensitivities, the elaborate stories, the clinginess -- are somehow related, it wouldn't hurt to get a professional opinion.

Poor little guy sounds freaked out about something. That would be reason enough for me to have him speak to someone who can help him through this patch.

#6 lafonda

Posted 17 February 2013 - 09:31 AM

Thanks BMJ - what am I best to do? Get a referral to a Pediatrician?

What type of thing would they do?

#7 baddmammajamma

Posted 17 February 2013 - 09:55 AM

Hi lafonda:

I usually encourage parents who have "niggling concerns" to get things checked out with a good developmental paed (your GP can refer you).These are specialist paeds who are experts in childhood development and can look across all aspects of your son's profile (physical, behavioural, cognitive, etc.) and see if there are any issues.

Having said that, a developmental paed isn't typically the one actually providing the hands-on therapies and support if there *ARE* issues, like anxiety or compulsive behavior.

Thus, your best bet (in my non-expert opinion) is to take a two-pronged approach (as these professionals quite often work as a team):

1) Consider seeing a good child psychologist, who can help you figure out what might be driving your son's behaviour and help you come up with ways to mitigate some of the challenges (the clinginess, the restlessness). I don't know where you are located, but if you are in Sydney, I would be happy to pass along the names of some practices who support "quirky" kids. original.gif  The wait for a psychologist is likely to be less than with a developmental paed.

2) Also put your name down with a good developmental paed (again, your GP can refer you). Dev paeds almost always have long waiting lists, regardless of whether they are public or private -- so getting the ball rolling there gives you options for the future. If your son outgrows his current issues by the time the appointment rolls around, then you can just cancel. But if things continue to be a bit stressful, especially as you approach the start of school, it's great to have a medical/developmental specialist on your side ready to assess/advise.

For the record, I love quirky kids and don't believe in trying to fundamentally trying to alter their fabric! But when a child has quirks that might be getting in the way of their daily happy functioning, I am a big fan of getting professional guidance.

Edited by baddmammajamma, 17 February 2013 - 10:01 AM.


#8 stressnless9

Posted 17 February 2013 - 10:10 AM

i had an imaginary friend, i could describe her,would talk to her, she needed a seat at the table/car etc. i still remember what she looked like. i had trouble sleeping, would sleep walk, would be frightened, would end up in my parents room all the time and have no idea why i was there, would just sit there staring at them etc (pretty sure i freaked them out all the time) i do wonder if they thought i was a little crazy or something was wrong as we had a large family and i was the only one like this!

i have had a few people say to me (one a clairvoyant) that they very much doubt this was an imaginary friend. I remember moving  house...and my imaginary friend never came with me to the new house. I still find it weird i remember so much about this imaginary friend, although i don't really have an opinion on what she was, i started kindy around that time and maybe that just brought me back to reality? who knows!

I wouldnt worry a hell of a lot right now. SS has a crazy imagination......fell off his bike and scratched his chest but told everyone his brother stabbed him, fell out of the tree but told me the bad man pushed him (only just turned 3) his stories are always 100% NOT true and i wonder where he would ever come up with such stories, but they listen to so much adults,tv,radios etc and i think they find it hard to work out whats real and whats just a story? he is always dead set its true i find his stories have gotten worse since his older brother start full time school....

#9 bloodorange

Posted 06 March 2013 - 12:02 PM

My son is weird/quirky but as BMJ puts it if their are other issues you are concerned about, they may go hand in hand.
My son has issues with foods due to their smells/textures/look.   Doesnt like strong smells, doesnt like handling certain things (again due to texture), certain loud noises scare him (hand dryer).
Is very emotional, cry's for no reason sometimes, very aggressive, bites, scratches, swears and obsessive compulsive behaviours which cause the "bad behaviour" if we interrupt him, telling him to finish what he's doing etc.
Has problems with some motor skills like dressing/undressing, clumsy, many of these negatives start up the many tantrums brought on from frustration of not being perfect at everything.
He's a bit socially awkward, will go up to anyone and stand really close to them and start babbling off about his obsessions.
He's also good at making up stories, once opened up and told us he had an imaginary friend that kept talking to him, but it was a secret and we're not to mention it to anyone, very articulate, at two was assessed at being 1 1/2 yr ahead , joker, wicked sense of humour, has an amazing memory and good at art.

After a referral to OT from develop paed they advised he had sensory processing issues.  We did about 3 sessions of therapy and then I stopped due to finances.  I try to read up and help him where i can.  Some of the issues are really getting out of hand  (behaviour) so we may go back to paed for updated advice.

So yeah if there's more to just weird check it out so you are more aware.

#10 baddmammajamma

Posted 07 March 2013 - 05:45 PM

bloodorange:

You changed your name! I thought your story sounded familiar & when I checked your post history, I figured out why.

At the risk of being super ballsy, I urge you to seek a second opinion re Aspergers or some related issue. I know that the first paed who saw your son, what, 1.5 years ago didn't think so  -- but when I read your update above & the fact that your son is still struggling and that things are getting out of hand, my Asperger mamma bell goes "Ding, ding, ding."

I'm sharing this link below for the benefit of other parents of "weird" kids (I have a major soft spot for them!)
http://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/bhcv2/b...'s_syndrome

As several of us mentioned in your original thread, it is not uncommon for Aspergers/high functioning autism to slip by some doctors. With school on the horizon, the sooner you get a thorough read on what is going on with your son, the better.

I'm really sorry to hear that he is still struggling in some areas. It's hard when you just don't know exactly what's causing the issues.

One thought -- you might want to consider seeing a good clinical psych. Developmental paeds are great at looking across the child's entire developmental profile, but a psych will actually help you develop and implement behavioral management strategies. Plus, if you see a psych who is well versed in ASD, you can have your son assessed by the psych (required in VIC for a formal diagnosis of ASD anyway). In our experience, our daughter's psychologists have always done the deepest probing in the ASD assessments (my daughter has had three formal assessments, due to our moving internationally).

Good luck getting some answers.


#11 item

Posted 07 March 2013 - 06:38 PM

Blood Orange:  I hope you get back to your paed (or a different developmental paed soon).  

Your little one sounds a lot like my son who was dx'd PDD-NOS. He is 3 1/2 now, or 4?  If 4, you've still got 10 months before kindergarten (unless you can delay entry? in which case you'd have another year) to work intensively on his skills and ability to cope.  Do it now, while you still have the opportunity to receive and spend the 12k from the government.

...

Oh bugger it, I was going to be diplomatic but the dev paed you saw sounds like he got caught up in your childs gifts when s/he should have been paying attention to your sons challenges.  Please try to find a different dev paed, or a clinical psych - one who specialises in ASD.  It really sounds like your son could do with some intensive help, label or no label.  If you get the label, you get some cash.  Sad state of affairs that not every child who needs help gets it, but from your description I would be thoroughly re-investigating any possibility of an ASD dx, if only to have a crack at getting the HCWA package.

#12 bloodorange

Posted 09 March 2013 - 10:13 PM

Oh thanks BMJ and Insane for your attention to my post on Lafondas issues as well.
I am going to definitely have our DS4yr old seen by a clinical psych .  I am always saying to myself, and husband and those close to me that there is definitely something wrong. There has to be an explanation as to why so many things are just so difficult to deal with.   At this age you always hear , that kids are difficult and its typical of his age group. My husband thinks he's a typical 4 yr old and that he'll grow out of many of the issues. However he does agree his aggressive behaviour is getting out of control and ONLY because of this has agreed to seek help.
If you or anyone have tried and tested names I'd be very greatful to get a hold of them.
Im located in inner north melbourne suburbs so anything around the city or this side would be great.

thanks again

#13 baddmammajamma

Posted 09 March 2013 - 10:25 PM

bloodorange:
I will PM you some recs. You might also want to start a separate thread either here or on the SNs/Disabilities board, asking for Melbourne-specific recs. I can almost guarantee that you will feel better once you start to get some real answers.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Special offer: The Baby & Toddler Show 2014

At The Baby & Toddler Show, you?ll find everything you need to get ready for your new arrival and guide you through the early weeks and years of parenting.

An open letter to Tony Abbott: please salvage our super

We face financial ruin, but most of us don?t realise it. If we don?t act together to salvage our superannuation, I have no doubt the new GFC will be the Girls? Financial Crisis.

'I'm happy to know I'm changing lives': surrogate mum of two

I know that once the baby is born, I will focus on the gift I have given, and watch the parents with their new child. I can't wait for that day.

Birth trauma and the issue of informed consent

There is a perception that women should just be happy they have a healthy baby in their arms. But for women who experienced birth trauma, there's a lot more to it.

Tips for managing pollen allergies and hayfever

They're simple tips, but they can have a big impact on those who suffer from hayfever and pollen allergies.

Ada Nicodemou shares tribute to her stillborn baby

Just over one month since Ada Nicodemou and her husband lost their second son, the Home and Away star has shared a touching poem for her baby.

Mum causes stir breastfeeding on train

?To the woman breastfeeding her kid on the train. Seriously! On the train?" began the letter of complaint.

10 things they don?t tell you about being pregnant

As I slowly waddle my ever-changing pregnant body towards the finishing line of my due date, it?s becoming increasingly clear there are a lot of things they just don?t tell you about pregnancy.

Overcoming a fear of the dark

A toddler's fear of the dark is very normal, but there are ways parents can help children through this stage in their development.

Kids, TV and movies: how young is too young?

It seems you don't have to throw the TV and iPad out the window - it all boils down to moderation, supervision and interaction.

Video: Baby's first birthday is a special day for mum, too

?A baby?s first birthday is also mum?s first birthday.?

The day Supernanny came to tea

Prince William's favourite celebrity child trainer Jo Frost puts Bryony Gordon and her toddler through their paces.

Tales from the homefront

When you're at work you sort of assume that your house is basically just sitting there quietly doing nothing until you return. However, since spending my days at home, I've learned this couldn't be further from the truth.

The words I hated hearing as new mum

It was less than a week after my son was born that I first heard it - from my mother.

To the pharmacist who sold me baby formula

On the rare occasion I catch sight of you at school, or around town, I think back to our earliest exchange. I?m sure you have no recollection of it at all.

Babies may benefit from autism therapy

Children showing signs of autism don't usually receive early intervention until well into toddlerhood or later, but a new study suggests infants with symptoms of the developmental disorder might benefit from therapy from as early as six months.

Knatalye and Adeline born with an everlasting bond

Knatalye Hope and Adeline Faith are a lot like any other identical twin girls, but there is one dramatic difference: they're joined at the chest and shares several internal organs.

The question this dad wishes he'd asked his wife

I should have seen that my wife wasn't the same person I'd fallen in love with, but we were both too focused on simply trying to get by.

Why we should talk about the deaths of the Hunt children

The deaths are too horrible even to think about. Yet we owe it to the children - Fletcher, Mia and Phoebe Hunt - to think long and hard about it all.

Baby dies of meningococcal weeks after vaccine application denied

A six-month-old girl has died from meningococcal disease just weeks after an application for government funding of a vaccine for the most deadly strain of the virus was rejected.

Finding the right balance when playing with your kids

Being too involved in our children?s play and not allowing our kids enough free time for unstructured activities can mean our kids miss out on the value that play offers.

Creative DIY light shades

The Pop Light light shade comes in a flat pack already made - it's up to you to design it as you'd like.

The battle of iParenting versus imagination

Have we forgotten how to be imaginative, resourceful parents?

Why movement is so important for your baby's growth

Letting your child move as much as possible in the early years ? using all senses, engaging in the real world, preferably outside ? will help them grow up healthier, smarter, calmer and stronger.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Articles

Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Special offer: The Baby & Toddler Show 2014

At The Baby & Toddler Show, you?ll find everything you need to get ready for your new arrival and guide you through the early weeks and years of parenting.

Losing yourself to motherhood

While watching your baby grow into a unique little person is exciting and wondrous, the intensity of meeting everyone else?s needs can ever so sneakily overtake your own needs for self-care.

Tearing during delivery: the facts

Almost all women will experience bruising, grazing or tearing after a vaginal birth. Depending on the degree of tearing, there are various treatments available.

6 tips for a day out with a baby and toddler

Outings can be lots of fun with the kids, but there are inevitable challenges. Here's some information about days out to help you be a little more prepared.

Why I invited a dozen people to watch my son's birth

I sent invitations on burgundy scrapbooking paper stamped with a field of poppies, and told each person why I wanted him or her there. I warned that there would be nudity.

Getting labour started: tips for a natural induction

When your baby?s due date comes and goes without so much as a pop - let alone a bang - it can be disheartening. Mums and a doula share their stories of natural inductions.

7 mistakes old hands make with new babies

As I sat across the table from my friend ? me, a seasoned mother of three; her, a brand new mum ? I thought of all the mistakes an old-hand parent can make when visiting a newborn baby.

That's my boy: a dad's diary of the first 4 months

Unbearable anxiety, unspeakable joy, constant exhaustion and bouts of frustration ... The many shocks of first-time fatherhood resound in a dad's diary of his son's early months.

One of the most important things a new mum can do

Finances may not be as cute as a newborn, but with many women?s working arrangements changing post-baby, monetary matters need attention too.

Baby survives five days alone

He lay with his mother for up to five days after she died of a suspected drug overdose - and survived.

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

 

Reader offer

2 FOR 1 TICKET OFFER

For Shopping, For Advice, For Baby & You. Enjoy a special day out with fabulous shopping from over 200 brands, leading parenting experts offering advice on a range of topics, and amazing children?s entertainment

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.