Jump to content

What would you do about this situation?
FINAL UPDATE Post 128


  • Please log in to reply
126 replies to this topic

#1 notorico

Posted 16 February 2013 - 10:36 AM

DSs school gives hampers to a handful of families at Christmas. The teachers decide who could benefit from one either because they are struggling financially or they are having a difficult time. Just before Christmas I got an email from DS teacher to say he had been chosen to receive a hamper. He had been off school for the whole of December as he had surgery at the beginning of the month (his 4th surgery in 5 months). She said she would drop it into us, she had been to our house before to drop in work etc other times when DS had been away from school. She only lives around the corner so she said she would drop it in before Christmas.

Christmas came and went and we heard nothing from her for weeks. Then an email saying she was out of the country for another few days and would drop it on a particular date. I emailed her back saying that would be great see you then. That date came and went and nothing.

Now a friend of mine works at the same school and she had told me the hamper is quite significant in value and was outraged that we hadn't received it. By this time I was over the whole thing wishing DS had never been chosen and was quite prepared to forget about it, and write the whole thing off. Obviously the teacher isn't the person I thought she was.

When school went back I had to go in for a meeting to update on DS current medical situation, and I spent the whole time stressing that these people would think I was rude for not thanking them for the hamper, but reluctant to bring it up. I thought about thanking them for the hamper so it was just over and done with but I had no idea what was in it so didn't want to get caught out. I didn't want to say I didn't get it because don't really won't to get the teacher, who had been great with DS, into trouble.

DH thinks I am stressing about nothing, and he is probably right but the whole thing has left me anxious. The school/students go to a great deal of effort to put together these hampers and I feel it should be acknowledged but I hate to cause problems. What would you do?

Edited by notorico, 10 April 2013 - 06:34 PM.


#2 yodie86

Posted 16 February 2013 - 10:39 AM

I would let the school know that you have not received the hamper and they can follow up with the teacher who was meant to bring it to you. Perhaps attach the email correspondence between you and the teacher about when it will be delivered etc.

That is appalling if the teacher has kept it for herself.

#3 Cacti

Posted 16 February 2013 - 10:44 AM

I'd let the school know that you hadn't received it.

#4 blackcat20

Posted 16 February 2013 - 10:45 AM

QUOTE (yodie86 @ 16/02/2013, 10:39 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I would let the school know that you have not received the hamper and they can follow up with the teacher who was meant to bring it to you. Perhaps attach the email correspondence between you and the teacher about when it will be delivered etc.

That is appalling if the teacher has kept it for herself.


I'd do this too. If so much effort is put into it, then it's disappointing that you haven't received it.

#5 tintoela

Posted 16 February 2013 - 10:47 AM

I would definately let the school know you didn't get it.  What if the same thing happens again and the next person also doesn't say anything.

#6 LynnyP

Posted 16 February 2013 - 10:50 AM

Just ask the teacher what happened, if you aren't satisfied with the answer - go to the school.

#7 Fr0g

Posted 16 February 2013 - 10:51 AM

I'd probably say I didn't receive it either.  It won't come across as ungrateful, or greedy, or wrong - they saw a need to help you out, told you they would, and one individual let the team down.  

I mean this in the nicest possible way: I truly hope by the end of this year, you'll not be worthy of another hamper, OP!

#8 HRH Countrymel

Posted 16 February 2013 - 10:52 AM

Has your friend said anything?  I think she should possibly channel her outrage into some investigation for you.


#9 Kitty Fantastico

Posted 16 February 2013 - 10:52 AM

I too would let them know casually that you never received the hamper. It's not an accusation, just a statement of fact.

#10 *lightning

Posted 16 February 2013 - 10:53 AM

I would let them know you didn't receive the hamper. The teacher might be very busy and forgot about it.

I think it would be unlikely that the teacher kept it but if she has it is something the school should know about.

#11 epl0822

Posted 16 February 2013 - 10:57 AM

I would email the teacher and say something like, "I thought we were meeting on x date - did I get it wrong?" If she doesn't reply within a few days go to the school and say you didn't receive the hamper, if there was some kind of miscommunication/misunderstanding that's alright, but thank you for their thoughts anyway.

#12 Soontobegran

Posted 16 February 2013 - 10:59 AM

I would ask the teacher who was meant to drop it off to you. Is there a chance she left it at the front door and it was stolen?
I would guage her response and then speak to the principal if you are not satisfied. The school families have donated these goods with good faith that they will reach those people whom are deserving.

I see where your DH is coming from but I think the school community needs to know that their school can be trusted so I would not let it go.

#13 aidensmum

Posted 16 February 2013 - 11:01 AM

Could there have been a mix-up and it was left at your front door cos you weren't home and it was stolen? It is very poor form not to get it to you the day it went home though. Who goes overseas before delivering a Xmas hamper that your employer and the school community has trusted you to deliver?

#14 PatG

Posted 16 February 2013 - 11:11 AM

Could your friend who works at the school make a casual comment to someone saying that she'd been chatting to you and asked about the hamper and you told her you had never received it?  That way it's not you who has to bring it up.  I would hope that someone would then contact you to ask what had happened.

#15 happygurl06

Posted 16 February 2013 - 11:20 AM

I would speak to/ email the teacher.  She may have left it at the door?  Put it away and forgot about it?

A school mum offered hand me downs for my DS and weeks went by without them turning up.  She saw me walking one day and asked how I liked the clothes!!  She dropped them off at my next door neighbors house instead.  Lucky for me after several attempts at knocking on their door and notes in their mail box I caught them home.  They still had them... Three huge boxes worth.

#16 Lifesgood

Posted 16 February 2013 - 11:28 AM

QUOTE (countrymel @ 16/02/2013, 11:52 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Has your friend said anything?  I think she should possibly channel her outrage into some investigation for you.

This was what I was thinking

#17 Julie3Girls

Posted 16 February 2013 - 11:42 AM

Do you still have the email on your computer?  If you do, I would reply to the email.
Hi x, just thought I'd follow up on this, as you never dropped the hamper off.  I've been feeling terrible, thinking I must look terrible ungrateful to the school for not having said thank you, but I wasn't sure if there was a misunderstanding?

And yes, if she doesn't reply to you, I'd mention it to the school, along the same lines.

Edited by Julie3Girls, 16 February 2013 - 11:43 AM.


#18 MissingInAction

Posted 16 February 2013 - 02:02 PM

I would say something.  Not because I felt like I deserved the hamper but because if  the teacher had it and didn't give it to me and I didn't get it then WHAT HAPPENED?!  The issue isn't about getting the hamper (i'd be well and truly over it by now) but rather that somebody would actually steal/keep something that is NOT theirs!!




#19 notorico

Posted 17 February 2013 - 06:45 AM

Thanks for that. I will call my friend today and see if she has heard anything. Depending on what she says I will either email the teacher (feeling a bit nervous about this) or speak to the school.

#20 ~sydblue~

Posted 17 February 2013 - 06:54 AM

QUOTE (notorico @ 17/02/2013, 07:45 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Thanks for that. I will call my friend today and see if she has heard anything. Depending on what she says I will either email the teacher (feeling a bit nervous about this) or speak to the school.

Speak to the school. If the teacher has kept it for herself, then who knows what else she has been up to.

If it is not reported, then someone else who may need it more may not get theirs if she thinks she can get away with it.

Hopefully she has misplaced it and just can't find it.

#21 Guest_*SnowFlower*_*

Posted 17 February 2013 - 06:59 AM

Don't say thank you for a hamper you haven't recieved!. The teacher sounds like miss unreliable.

#22 wish*upon*a*star

Posted 17 February 2013 - 07:29 AM

I would attempt one more time with the teacher (by email so I had a record) and if I had no luck I would forward all the correspondance to the school.

#23 JustBeige

Posted 17 February 2013 - 02:37 PM

QUOTE (strawberrypie7 @ 17/02/2013, 08:29 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I would attempt one more time with the teacher (by email so I had a record) and if I had no luck I would forward all the correspondance to the school.

This is what I would do also.  

Is it the P&C (or similar) that does the organising of this?  If so, you can contact them and let them know it hasnt turned up.

#24 TheGreenSheep

Posted 18 February 2013 - 01:22 PM

How did you go OP?

#25 Erma Gerd

Posted 18 February 2013 - 01:34 PM

I'd email the teacher and offer to go and collect it.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Special Ticket Offer, Save $8!

The Essential Baby & Toddler Show is back this April! Save $8 off the door price for a limited time only!

Finding baby name inspiration in unusual places

Sometimes the greatest baby name ideas come from the most unexpected places, as these EB members show.

The case for inducing at 37 weeks

While we often think of pregnancy as a 40 week affair, experts agree that 37 weeks is actually “full term". So is there an argument for inducing all births at 37 weeks?

Does controlled crying really work?

Controlled-crying techniques may help some babies sleep through the night, but for many exhausted new parents, it's just a recipe for more tears all round.

How I taught my infant to use a toilet

As people become more aware of these benefits, I hope more parents will practice this method, so we can cut down on nappies and improve baby bonding.

'I thought it was impossible': Emily Symons pregnant at 45

Aussie actress Emily Symons has announced she is pregnant with her first baby.

Shallow water blackout kills fit, healthy dad

A little girl will grow up without her father after the fit and healthy 34-year-old passed away while doing something he had practised his whole life.

Afternoon naps may be bad for toddlers' sleep

You could be doing yourself a disservice by encouraging your toddler to have an afternoon nap, according to new research.

Best gifts for newborns, new mums and christenings

We've compiled a guide to some of the most popular presents for newborns and new mums, and for christenings and naming days.

Jaime King to be a mum again

Actress Jaime King is pregnant with her second child, giving 16-month-old James a sibling.

Nannies should receive government funding

The Abbott government should extend funding to nannies, and direct childcare payments to low and middle income families, a landmark study on childcare has found. 

Common skin irritations in newborns (and how to treat them)

As many as one in two newborn babies suffer from skin irritations in their first few weeks. So what are the most common rashes and irritations to look out for?

10 wall decals for the nursery or playroom

Wall decals are the answer to creating a beautiful nursery or children's space without lifting a paint brush, a spirit level or even a hammer.

Preschooler walks 2.4km home alone

Three-year-old Cain Trainor headed off home after his first day at a new preschool without telling anyone.

Video: Why mums get nothing done

In spite of being in an almost constant state of motion while looking after the kids and trying to keep things together at home, it can seem as though parents have managed to get nothing on the to-do list done by the end of the day.

The middle name game

The middle name is no longer an afterthought, and parents' inspiration comes from many places.

Have a baby or your money back - but there's a catch

A new IVF scheme offers couples the chance to fall pregnant and give birth - or get their money back. But there's more to it than you might think.

A rare glimpse inside the womb

A baby born still inside the amniotic sac gave US doctors a rare glimpse at life inside the womb.

Battered mum forced to write to her attacker ex in jail

Three years ago Jason Hughes viciously attacked his ex-partner. Now she has to write to him three times a year.

Woman pleads not guilty to ultrasound scam

A West Australian woman will fight allegations that she scammed expectant mums by selling them fake ultrasound pictures of babies.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Brain damaged mum receives compensation

A Sydney mother who suffered brain damage when she was hit by a car while pushing her newborn baby in a pram has reached a confidential out-of-court settlement with the driver's insurance company.

Indigenous midwives break down the barriers

A culturally sensitive midwifery service has gained the trust and respect of Aboriginal women.

The Katering Show's next big delivery

Most mums-to-be plan to take things easy and perhaps have a little break from work as the birth of their baby draws near. Not Kate McCartney.

53 creative pregnancy announcements

Announcing that you're expecting can be a time to express your creativity, sense of humour and imagination. Check out how other parents and parents-to-be have broken the news to friends and family.

Why I have mixed feelings about Cindy Crawford's leaked photo

Last week an un-retouched photo of model Cindy Crawford surfaced, showing the 48-year-old mother-of -two posing in underwear.

How to create a Peppa Pig pancake

Thought your toddler could not love pancakes any more than they already do? How about if the breakfast treat came in the shape of every two-year-old's favourite cartoon character?

'It's a little life, not a little loss': pregnancy after miscarriage

I thought I was never going to be able to have a successful pregnancy. I decided that I wasn't going to form an emotional attachment with this baby.

Bonds Baby Search 2015: what you need to know

February 18 marks the start of one of the most prolific annual baby competitions in Australia: the Bonds Baby Search. And this year is going to be more special than ever.

Who will manage your Facebook account when you're gone?

This is not something that people like to talk about, but Facebook has announced that it will grant users more control over what happens to their pages after they die.

Struggling mum of four wins $188 million

Mother of four Marie Holmes was financially struggling after quitting her jobs at Walmart and McDonald's in order to care for her children.

Pregnant obese women a 'relatively new problem', coroner hears

A first-time mother whose daughter died hours after her frightening birth insists she was never told of the risks of being obese and pregnant.

'I'm angry as hell': the story behind mum's passionate vaccination plea

She has labelled parents who do not vaccinate their children "misinformed imbeciles" - and for that, she makes no apologies.

IKEA hacks for the nursery and kids' rooms

Are you one of those that know the whole IKEA catalogue by heart? Love their stuff but want to personalise it? Here's some inspiration to help you realise the potential of IKEA furniture and fittings.

8 different kinds of tantrums

I never thought I’d say this, but for a brief moment last week, Kim Kardashian and I had something in common: both our kids had public tantrums.

Polycystic ovary syndrome: symptoms, treatment and your fertility

Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) is the most common female hormonal condition, affecting roughly one in 12 Australian women.

What's the best position for giving birth?

If doing it on your back is out, what's the best position for labour and birth?

Wife forgives snake catcher husband for car surprise

With Valentine's Day coming up, Nat Gilbert could be forgiven for thinking her husband might be planning a surprise for her.

Kids who meet milestones at their own pace

We usually only hear the success stories: tales of the two-year-old who’s talking, running and completely toilet trained. But other stories need to be told too.

Ruby shines as Bonds Baby

Sarah Kiss has a word of advice for proud mums and dads who are keen to enter their babies in this year's Bonds Baby Search Competition - just have fun.

Why dads should go to sleep school

If your family needs to go to sleep school, go with them. You are part of that family and you are part of the solution.

36 baby names inspired by food and drinks

A French court may have ruled out Nutella as a baby name, but that doesn't have to stop you from taking inspiration from the supermarket (or bottle shop). See what parents in the US have chosen for their delicious little ones.

Clever breastfeeding products

Check out this range of products designed to help make your breastfeeding journey more enjoyable, manageable and convenient.

 

Win a KitchenAid Mixer

Let's celebrate 300,000 fans on Facebook

To celebrate, and to thank our amazing fans, we?re giving away a KitchenAid Artisan Tilt-Head Stand Mixer.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.