Jump to content

What would you do about this situation?
FINAL UPDATE Post 128


  • Please log in to reply
132 replies to this topic

#1 notorico

Posted 16 February 2013 - 10:36 AM

DSs school gives hampers to a handful of families at Christmas. The teachers decide who could benefit from one either because they are struggling financially or they are having a difficult time. Just before Christmas I got an email from DS teacher to say he had been chosen to receive a hamper. He had been off school for the whole of December as he had surgery at the beginning of the month (his 4th surgery in 5 months). She said she would drop it into us, she had been to our house before to drop in work etc other times when DS had been away from school. She only lives around the corner so she said she would drop it in before Christmas.

Christmas came and went and we heard nothing from her for weeks. Then an email saying she was out of the country for another few days and would drop it on a particular date. I emailed her back saying that would be great see you then. That date came and went and nothing.

Now a friend of mine works at the same school and she had told me the hamper is quite significant in value and was outraged that we hadn't received it. By this time I was over the whole thing wishing DS had never been chosen and was quite prepared to forget about it, and write the whole thing off. Obviously the teacher isn't the person I thought she was.

When school went back I had to go in for a meeting to update on DS current medical situation, and I spent the whole time stressing that these people would think I was rude for not thanking them for the hamper, but reluctant to bring it up. I thought about thanking them for the hamper so it was just over and done with but I had no idea what was in it so didn't want to get caught out. I didn't want to say I didn't get it because don't really won't to get the teacher, who had been great with DS, into trouble.

DH thinks I am stressing about nothing, and he is probably right but the whole thing has left me anxious. The school/students go to a great deal of effort to put together these hampers and I feel it should be acknowledged but I hate to cause problems. What would you do?

Edited by notorico, 10 April 2013 - 06:34 PM.


#2 yodie86

Posted 16 February 2013 - 10:39 AM

I would let the school know that you have not received the hamper and they can follow up with the teacher who was meant to bring it to you. Perhaps attach the email correspondence between you and the teacher about when it will be delivered etc.

That is appalling if the teacher has kept it for herself.

#3 Cacti

Posted 16 February 2013 - 10:44 AM

I'd let the school know that you hadn't received it.

#4 blackcat20

Posted 16 February 2013 - 10:45 AM

QUOTE (yodie86 @ 16/02/2013, 10:39 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I would let the school know that you have not received the hamper and they can follow up with the teacher who was meant to bring it to you. Perhaps attach the email correspondence between you and the teacher about when it will be delivered etc.

That is appalling if the teacher has kept it for herself.


I'd do this too. If so much effort is put into it, then it's disappointing that you haven't received it.

#5 tintoela

Posted 16 February 2013 - 10:47 AM

I would definately let the school know you didn't get it.  What if the same thing happens again and the next person also doesn't say anything.

#6 LynnyP

Posted 16 February 2013 - 10:50 AM

Just ask the teacher what happened, if you aren't satisfied with the answer - go to the school.

#7 Fr0g

Posted 16 February 2013 - 10:51 AM

I'd probably say I didn't receive it either.  It won't come across as ungrateful, or greedy, or wrong - they saw a need to help you out, told you they would, and one individual let the team down.  

I mean this in the nicest possible way: I truly hope by the end of this year, you'll not be worthy of another hamper, OP!

#8 Country (deci)Mel

Posted 16 February 2013 - 10:52 AM

Has your friend said anything?  I think she should possibly channel her outrage into some investigation for you.


#9 Kitty Fantastico

Posted 16 February 2013 - 10:52 AM

I too would let them know casually that you never received the hamper. It's not an accusation, just a statement of fact.

#10 *lightning

Posted 16 February 2013 - 10:53 AM

I would let them know you didn't receive the hamper. The teacher might be very busy and forgot about it.

I think it would be unlikely that the teacher kept it but if she has it is something the school should know about.

#11 epl0822

Posted 16 February 2013 - 10:57 AM

I would email the teacher and say something like, "I thought we were meeting on x date - did I get it wrong?" If she doesn't reply within a few days go to the school and say you didn't receive the hamper, if there was some kind of miscommunication/misunderstanding that's alright, but thank you for their thoughts anyway.

#12 Soontobegran

Posted 16 February 2013 - 10:59 AM

I would ask the teacher who was meant to drop it off to you. Is there a chance she left it at the front door and it was stolen?
I would guage her response and then speak to the principal if you are not satisfied. The school families have donated these goods with good faith that they will reach those people whom are deserving.

I see where your DH is coming from but I think the school community needs to know that their school can be trusted so I would not let it go.

#13 aidensmum

Posted 16 February 2013 - 11:01 AM

Could there have been a mix-up and it was left at your front door cos you weren't home and it was stolen? It is very poor form not to get it to you the day it went home though. Who goes overseas before delivering a Xmas hamper that your employer and the school community has trusted you to deliver?

#14 PatG

Posted 16 February 2013 - 11:11 AM

Could your friend who works at the school make a casual comment to someone saying that she'd been chatting to you and asked about the hamper and you told her you had never received it?  That way it's not you who has to bring it up.  I would hope that someone would then contact you to ask what had happened.

#15 happygurl06

Posted 16 February 2013 - 11:20 AM

I would speak to/ email the teacher.  She may have left it at the door?  Put it away and forgot about it?

A school mum offered hand me downs for my DS and weeks went by without them turning up.  She saw me walking one day and asked how I liked the clothes!!  She dropped them off at my next door neighbors house instead.  Lucky for me after several attempts at knocking on their door and notes in their mail box I caught them home.  They still had them... Three huge boxes worth.

#16 Lifesgood

Posted 16 February 2013 - 11:28 AM

QUOTE (countrymel @ 16/02/2013, 11:52 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Has your friend said anything?  I think she should possibly channel her outrage into some investigation for you.

This was what I was thinking

#17 Julie3Girls

Posted 16 February 2013 - 11:42 AM

Do you still have the email on your computer?  If you do, I would reply to the email.
Hi x, just thought I'd follow up on this, as you never dropped the hamper off.  I've been feeling terrible, thinking I must look terrible ungrateful to the school for not having said thank you, but I wasn't sure if there was a misunderstanding?

And yes, if she doesn't reply to you, I'd mention it to the school, along the same lines.

Edited by Julie3Girls, 16 February 2013 - 11:43 AM.


#18 MissingInAction

Posted 16 February 2013 - 02:02 PM

I would say something.  Not because I felt like I deserved the hamper but because if  the teacher had it and didn't give it to me and I didn't get it then WHAT HAPPENED?!  The issue isn't about getting the hamper (i'd be well and truly over it by now) but rather that somebody would actually steal/keep something that is NOT theirs!!




#19 notorico

Posted 17 February 2013 - 06:45 AM

Thanks for that. I will call my friend today and see if she has heard anything. Depending on what she says I will either email the teacher (feeling a bit nervous about this) or speak to the school.

#20 ~sydblue~

Posted 17 February 2013 - 06:54 AM

QUOTE (notorico @ 17/02/2013, 07:45 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Thanks for that. I will call my friend today and see if she has heard anything. Depending on what she says I will either email the teacher (feeling a bit nervous about this) or speak to the school.

Speak to the school. If the teacher has kept it for herself, then who knows what else she has been up to.

If it is not reported, then someone else who may need it more may not get theirs if she thinks she can get away with it.

Hopefully she has misplaced it and just can't find it.

#21 Guest_*SnowFlower*_*

Posted 17 February 2013 - 06:59 AM

Don't say thank you for a hamper you haven't recieved!. The teacher sounds like miss unreliable.

#22 wish*upon*a*star

Posted 17 February 2013 - 07:29 AM

I would attempt one more time with the teacher (by email so I had a record) and if I had no luck I would forward all the correspondance to the school.

#23 JustBeige

Posted 17 February 2013 - 02:37 PM

QUOTE (strawberrypie7 @ 17/02/2013, 08:29 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I would attempt one more time with the teacher (by email so I had a record) and if I had no luck I would forward all the correspondance to the school.

This is what I would do also.  

Is it the P&C (or similar) that does the organising of this?  If so, you can contact them and let them know it hasnt turned up.

#24 TheGreenSheep

Posted 18 February 2013 - 01:22 PM

How did you go OP?

#25 Erma Gerd

Posted 18 February 2013 - 01:34 PM

I'd email the teacher and offer to go and collect it.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

WIN an exclusive performance from Sam Moran!

To celebrate the release of children?s musical series Play Along with Sam, out now on DVD, we?re giving one lucky parent the chance to have Sam perform at their child?s pre-school or day care!

Toddler freed after getting trapped in escalator

A shopping centre escalator needed to be pulled apart to free a toddler's trapped hand.

Why I'm kind of excited about my daughter's nits

Is it weird to say that I am secretly thrilled to find that my daughter Edie has nits?

Baby born at 10:11 on 12-13-14

Well, it's actually 13-12-14 to us over here. But still, Clare Elizabeth Keane's consecutive numerical birth time is pretty special.

On holding tightly and loving fiercely

We can't live in fear. This post is about Christmas and how at this time we should be celebrating life and grateful for what we have: our loved ones who we cherish fiercely.

Babies, relatives and coping with Christmas day

Everyone will love your baby but your baby may not be so happy to be passed around a lot of new people - nor may you want to feed with an audience.

Why I won't be posting pictures of my baby on Facebook

There are pros and cons to this policy.

The myths and truths of gender swaying

Here are a few popular methods hopeful parents-to-be use to try to get a baby of their preferred gender – and what an expert says about whether they really work.

10 easy DIY Christmas decoration ideas

It's officially time to get into the Christmas spirit. Why not branch out when you put up your tree this year and add a personal touch with a few DIY decorations? We've found the perfect easy-to-make ways to put more festive fever into your home.

The dangerous new trend of glucose challenge test refusal

A dangerous trend is seeing more mothers-to-be declining a relatively simple and painless test to check for gestational diabetes.

Office of Fair Trading reveals naughty toys ahead of Christmas

The Office of Fair Trading has pulled seven toys from shelves ahead of Christmas after they fail safety tests.

Video: Baby boy's trouble with twins

These twin girls will no doubt have fun fooling people in years to come, but nobody will be as confused as baby Landon.

Long-term reversible male contraceptive on its way

Men could soon have access to an injectable long-term contraceptive which works in a similar way to a vasectomy but promises to be easily reversed.

'I tried to kill my baby': one mum's story

After bathing and dressing her three-month-old son, Amanda had a rare moment alone with her baby.

Attack of the 'mummy brain'

I feel that almost every day, someone in my life - be they a friend, family member or complete stranger - feels the need to excuse my behaviour as I have other things on my mind.

Mum of baby who fell ill after drinking raw milk speaks out

A Melbourne mother has described how her son turned grey when he became seriously ill after drinking raw milk.

Australian divorce rate lowest since 1976

Modern newlyweds are now well into their 30s and marriage still offers something powerful a new book argues.

The aftermath of a traumatic birth experience

In Australia, 30 per cent of women find their birth experience traumatic, with 6 per cent going on to develop post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Young mum burns 'from inside-out'

A young mum is in intensive care after she took a friend's antibiotic and wound up with an ailment that is burning her body 'from the inside-out'.

The disagreement that can break a relationship

If he doesn't change his mind, all I can hope is that I will. It would be a waste to spend the rest of my marriage mourning a baby that never was.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Co-sleeping or no-sleeping? Mum videos worst nap ever

One mother's futile attempt to sleep in caught on camera in a hilarious - and very cute - video.

Why children misbehave during the festive season

While we all like to imagine the holiday season as being a fun, loving and bonding experience; often our reality is quiet different.

I was fat-shamed by my doctor

The fear of being weighed is the most significant factor in women cancelling medical appointments - and now weight-shaming has happened to me.

End of an era: no more childcare

As we reach the end of 2014, we're closing the book on many things for another year, most notably childcare. Our last child has attended childcare for the very last time.

WIN an exclusive performance from Sam Moran!

To celebrate the release of children?s musical series Play Along with Sam, out now on DVD, we?re giving one lucky parent the chance to have Sam perform at their child?s pre-school or day care!

The 7-year itch is more like the 10-year itch: study

Contrary to popular belief, making it past the seven-year mark doesn't mean your marriage will be smooth sailing from there on.

Should children be forced to sit on Santa's lap?

We teach kids it’s okay to say no if they don’t feel safe, so why do some parents force their children to climb in to Santa's lap?

Stop telling us that parenting gets harder

I’m sure that parenting will get harder. But life isn’t exactly smooth sailing for many of us right now, either.

Baby born weighing almost 14 pounds

Yes, the bouncing baby girl was born by caesarean section. And mum says no more kids.

The dummy debate

I'm the first to admit that when I used to see tiny babies with dummies in their mouths, I thought "Hmm, lazy parenting." And now I apologise.

'I thought I was an only child'

Imagine meeting your double at a school sports event, or regularly being mistaken for someone you haven't met. Separated twins Margaret and Joy tell their story.

Carers admit to force-feeding children

As Sydney grieves the loss of Sydney siege victims Katrina Dawson and Tori Johnson, reports have suggested that both died as heroes.

 

How many weeks til Christmas?

On your To-Do list

Get the "Santa" shopping done without the kids in tow.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.