Jump to content

What would you do about this situation?
FINAL UPDATE Post 128


  • Please log in to reply
126 replies to this topic

#1 notorico

Posted 16 February 2013 - 10:36 AM

DSs school gives hampers to a handful of families at Christmas. The teachers decide who could benefit from one either because they are struggling financially or they are having a difficult time. Just before Christmas I got an email from DS teacher to say he had been chosen to receive a hamper. He had been off school for the whole of December as he had surgery at the beginning of the month (his 4th surgery in 5 months). She said she would drop it into us, she had been to our house before to drop in work etc other times when DS had been away from school. She only lives around the corner so she said she would drop it in before Christmas.

Christmas came and went and we heard nothing from her for weeks. Then an email saying she was out of the country for another few days and would drop it on a particular date. I emailed her back saying that would be great see you then. That date came and went and nothing.

Now a friend of mine works at the same school and she had told me the hamper is quite significant in value and was outraged that we hadn't received it. By this time I was over the whole thing wishing DS had never been chosen and was quite prepared to forget about it, and write the whole thing off. Obviously the teacher isn't the person I thought she was.

When school went back I had to go in for a meeting to update on DS current medical situation, and I spent the whole time stressing that these people would think I was rude for not thanking them for the hamper, but reluctant to bring it up. I thought about thanking them for the hamper so it was just over and done with but I had no idea what was in it so didn't want to get caught out. I didn't want to say I didn't get it because don't really won't to get the teacher, who had been great with DS, into trouble.

DH thinks I am stressing about nothing, and he is probably right but the whole thing has left me anxious. The school/students go to a great deal of effort to put together these hampers and I feel it should be acknowledged but I hate to cause problems. What would you do?

Edited by notorico, 10 April 2013 - 06:34 PM.


#2 yodie86

Posted 16 February 2013 - 10:39 AM

I would let the school know that you have not received the hamper and they can follow up with the teacher who was meant to bring it to you. Perhaps attach the email correspondence between you and the teacher about when it will be delivered etc.

That is appalling if the teacher has kept it for herself.

#3 Cacti

Posted 16 February 2013 - 10:44 AM

I'd let the school know that you hadn't received it.

#4 blackcat20

Posted 16 February 2013 - 10:45 AM

QUOTE (yodie86 @ 16/02/2013, 10:39 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I would let the school know that you have not received the hamper and they can follow up with the teacher who was meant to bring it to you. Perhaps attach the email correspondence between you and the teacher about when it will be delivered etc.

That is appalling if the teacher has kept it for herself.


I'd do this too. If so much effort is put into it, then it's disappointing that you haven't received it.

#5 tintoela

Posted 16 February 2013 - 10:47 AM

I would definately let the school know you didn't get it.  What if the same thing happens again and the next person also doesn't say anything.

#6 LynnyP

Posted 16 February 2013 - 10:50 AM

Just ask the teacher what happened, if you aren't satisfied with the answer - go to the school.

#7 Fr0g

Posted 16 February 2013 - 10:51 AM

I'd probably say I didn't receive it either.  It won't come across as ungrateful, or greedy, or wrong - they saw a need to help you out, told you they would, and one individual let the team down.  

I mean this in the nicest possible way: I truly hope by the end of this year, you'll not be worthy of another hamper, OP!

#8 HRH Countrymel

Posted 16 February 2013 - 10:52 AM

Has your friend said anything?  I think she should possibly channel her outrage into some investigation for you.


#9 Kitty Fantastico

Posted 16 February 2013 - 10:52 AM

I too would let them know casually that you never received the hamper. It's not an accusation, just a statement of fact.

#10 *lightning

Posted 16 February 2013 - 10:53 AM

I would let them know you didn't receive the hamper. The teacher might be very busy and forgot about it.

I think it would be unlikely that the teacher kept it but if she has it is something the school should know about.

#11 epl0822

Posted 16 February 2013 - 10:57 AM

I would email the teacher and say something like, "I thought we were meeting on x date - did I get it wrong?" If she doesn't reply within a few days go to the school and say you didn't receive the hamper, if there was some kind of miscommunication/misunderstanding that's alright, but thank you for their thoughts anyway.

#12 Soontobegran

Posted 16 February 2013 - 10:59 AM

I would ask the teacher who was meant to drop it off to you. Is there a chance she left it at the front door and it was stolen?
I would guage her response and then speak to the principal if you are not satisfied. The school families have donated these goods with good faith that they will reach those people whom are deserving.

I see where your DH is coming from but I think the school community needs to know that their school can be trusted so I would not let it go.

#13 aidensmum

Posted 16 February 2013 - 11:01 AM

Could there have been a mix-up and it was left at your front door cos you weren't home and it was stolen? It is very poor form not to get it to you the day it went home though. Who goes overseas before delivering a Xmas hamper that your employer and the school community has trusted you to deliver?

#14 PatG

Posted 16 February 2013 - 11:11 AM

Could your friend who works at the school make a casual comment to someone saying that she'd been chatting to you and asked about the hamper and you told her you had never received it?  That way it's not you who has to bring it up.  I would hope that someone would then contact you to ask what had happened.

#15 happygurl06

Posted 16 February 2013 - 11:20 AM

I would speak to/ email the teacher.  She may have left it at the door?  Put it away and forgot about it?

A school mum offered hand me downs for my DS and weeks went by without them turning up.  She saw me walking one day and asked how I liked the clothes!!  She dropped them off at my next door neighbors house instead.  Lucky for me after several attempts at knocking on their door and notes in their mail box I caught them home.  They still had them... Three huge boxes worth.

#16 Lifesgood

Posted 16 February 2013 - 11:28 AM

QUOTE (countrymel @ 16/02/2013, 11:52 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Has your friend said anything?  I think she should possibly channel her outrage into some investigation for you.

This was what I was thinking

#17 Julie3Girls

Posted 16 February 2013 - 11:42 AM

Do you still have the email on your computer?  If you do, I would reply to the email.
Hi x, just thought I'd follow up on this, as you never dropped the hamper off.  I've been feeling terrible, thinking I must look terrible ungrateful to the school for not having said thank you, but I wasn't sure if there was a misunderstanding?

And yes, if she doesn't reply to you, I'd mention it to the school, along the same lines.

Edited by Julie3Girls, 16 February 2013 - 11:43 AM.


#18 MissingInAction

Posted 16 February 2013 - 02:02 PM

I would say something.  Not because I felt like I deserved the hamper but because if  the teacher had it and didn't give it to me and I didn't get it then WHAT HAPPENED?!  The issue isn't about getting the hamper (i'd be well and truly over it by now) but rather that somebody would actually steal/keep something that is NOT theirs!!




#19 notorico

Posted 17 February 2013 - 06:45 AM

Thanks for that. I will call my friend today and see if she has heard anything. Depending on what she says I will either email the teacher (feeling a bit nervous about this) or speak to the school.

#20 ~sydblue~

Posted 17 February 2013 - 06:54 AM

QUOTE (notorico @ 17/02/2013, 07:45 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Thanks for that. I will call my friend today and see if she has heard anything. Depending on what she says I will either email the teacher (feeling a bit nervous about this) or speak to the school.

Speak to the school. If the teacher has kept it for herself, then who knows what else she has been up to.

If it is not reported, then someone else who may need it more may not get theirs if she thinks she can get away with it.

Hopefully she has misplaced it and just can't find it.

#21 Guest_*SnowFlower*_*

Posted 17 February 2013 - 06:59 AM

Don't say thank you for a hamper you haven't recieved!. The teacher sounds like miss unreliable.

#22 wish*upon*a*star

Posted 17 February 2013 - 07:29 AM

I would attempt one more time with the teacher (by email so I had a record) and if I had no luck I would forward all the correspondance to the school.

#23 JustBeige

Posted 17 February 2013 - 02:37 PM

QUOTE (strawberrypie7 @ 17/02/2013, 08:29 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I would attempt one more time with the teacher (by email so I had a record) and if I had no luck I would forward all the correspondance to the school.

This is what I would do also.  

Is it the P&C (or similar) that does the organising of this?  If so, you can contact them and let them know it hasnt turned up.

#24 TheGreenSheep

Posted 18 February 2013 - 01:22 PM

How did you go OP?

#25 Erma Gerd

Posted 18 February 2013 - 01:34 PM

I'd email the teacher and offer to go and collect it.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Ada Nicodemou: 'I can never be completely happy again'

Home and Away actress Ada Nicodemou has opened up about the loss of her stillborn baby.

10 things to consider when you're thinking about trying for a baby

Before you start tracking your menstrual cycle and reading up on the best positions to get pregnant, there are a few other things you may want to consider.

Baby Gammy's dad tries to claim charity money

The biological father of baby Gammy has reportedly tried to access charity money raised for the little boy's medical costs.

How special surgery and IVF can create a post-vasectomy baby

Cricket legend Glenn McGrath and his second wife Sara are expecting their first child together, thanks to IVF and a delicate surgical sperm retrieval process that helped the couple to conceive.

Belle Gibson's mother 'disgusted and embarrassed'

The mother of disgraced wellness blogger Belle Gibson has accused her daughter of lying about her childhood in an attempt to garner public sympathy.

Life On Mars

It's men who need 'retraining', not women

We are all responsible for our own behaviour. Telling victims to harden up is wrong.

Doctor's mobile phone 'left inside c-section mum'

A new mum claims a doctor left his mobile phone inside her after delivering her baby via caesarean section.

I'm a mum and I'm following my dreams

I want my kids to know that no matter what happens in life, you can still be who it is that you've always wanted to be.

Those first daycare days

I had this innate 'mum' moment the other day.

'If one person had listened, my life would have been so different'

Katherine's father will die in prison for the horrifying sexual abuse of his daughter. Yet she is the one with the true life sentence.

Couple to celebrate terminally ill baby's birthday in unique way

Baby Jai Bishop has lived at Starship Hospital for the past seven months, with his parents flying back and forth from Hokitika, 1100km away, to be by his side.

This new plan undermines breastfeeding and baby health at everyone's expense

Mothers, babies, the health system and the wider society are going to pay the price of this new budget.

Trying to understand why your baby is upset

Working out what?s underlying your baby's fussiness can be a case of trial and error. Here are a few common causes and how you can remedy each one.

When those you love judge your parenting

In today's society, never has it been harder to parent without judgment. But what about when judgment is coming from closer to home?

Don't play the victim blame game with family violence

It's not a woman's job to teach violent men how to behave.

11 truths about having two under two

When I told my mothers? group that my husband and I had started trying for our second baby they told me I was crazy. Now I can see why.

'How do you say goodbye to someone you've only just started to get to know?'

New mum Sarah Sutton was faced with a shattering scenario no person should have to endure.

It's a ... boy! Couple welcomes son number 13

"It's a boy!" That's the phrase Kateri Schwandt has heard in labour delivery ward for the 13th time in her life.

Six reasons to go for a walk

Can't find time to get to the gym? It could be just as beneficial to put your baby in the stroller and go for a walk.

Seven questions you should be asking about your health cover

If the last time you assessed your health cover was five years ago, there?s a chance it may no longer suit your needs. To ensure it?s still right for your family, click here for seven questions to ask.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Where are the childcare places?

It?s all very well to encourage women to work if they choose to, but how can the measures lead to increased workforce participation when women are once again left holding the baby?

The pain of not having babies and not knowing why

After seven years of wishing, hoping, crying, punching pillows and shouting "why me?!", the end result is more than I ever thought possible.

Getting your family finances in order

Whether you're after a new car for a growing family, a bigger house, or are just fixing up your finances, here are the basics on borrowing.

Mum shares graphic selfie to warn against tanning

A mum has shared a graphic photo of her skin cancer treatment as a warning to others.

Does parenthood make us happier?

We can certainly gain higher levels of happiness when we become parents, but the trick is to not get overwhelmed by the pressures of raising our kids.

No, having a dog is not like having a human child

It's obvious these people dote on their pets, but they're barking up the wrong tree.

Toddler styling

Seven things my toddler taught me about my home

My standards at home were never that high but having a two-year-old has taught me to be cool with chaos.

Australia's top baby names of 2014

The numbers have been crunched and it's official: Australian parents are having a bit of an 'O' moment.

How to set up the perfect nursery for your baby

You'll soon be meeting your baby, but you've got one big task to get done first: setting up a comfy, calming nursery you'll both be able to enjoy.

Childcare rebate: tougher rules for stay-at-home mums

A new form of activity testing will be introduced to ensure the highest subsidies go to parents who contribute the most to the workforce.

The women who desperately need more support in pregnancy

For women suffering from chronic morning sickness or hyperemesis gravidarum, pregnancy can be the roller coaster from hell.

When labour doesn't happen and you're induced

I never actually went into labour - so by 42 weeks I was booked in for induction.

Mum's grief for triplets inspires change

The death of Sophie Smith's triplet baby boys has motivated the half-marathon mother and her team to raise $1.25 million for charity.

The best advice for treating head lice

Just like a horror movie ... THEY'RE BAAAAAACK. So what works in treating and avoiding head lice and nits?

Overdue and over it

A watched womb never labours ... or at least mine didn't.

Parenting an early walker

Watching your child take their first wobbly steps is one of the best parenting highs you'll ever experience. But with that high comes a new reality.

Baby-led weaning worked for us

My baby wasn't interested in food - until we tried something new. Now she's eating it all, and it often comes from my plate.

'Paralysed bride' becomes a mum

Rachelle Friedman Chapman was preparing to marry the man of her dreams when tragedy struck four years ago.

 

Top baby names

Baby Names

The numbers are in and we can now bring you the 2014 top baby name list for Australia.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.