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What would you do about this situation?
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#1 notorico

Posted 16 February 2013 - 10:36 AM

DSs school gives hampers to a handful of families at Christmas. The teachers decide who could benefit from one either because they are struggling financially or they are having a difficult time. Just before Christmas I got an email from DS teacher to say he had been chosen to receive a hamper. He had been off school for the whole of December as he had surgery at the beginning of the month (his 4th surgery in 5 months). She said she would drop it into us, she had been to our house before to drop in work etc other times when DS had been away from school. She only lives around the corner so she said she would drop it in before Christmas.

Christmas came and went and we heard nothing from her for weeks. Then an email saying she was out of the country for another few days and would drop it on a particular date. I emailed her back saying that would be great see you then. That date came and went and nothing.

Now a friend of mine works at the same school and she had told me the hamper is quite significant in value and was outraged that we hadn't received it. By this time I was over the whole thing wishing DS had never been chosen and was quite prepared to forget about it, and write the whole thing off. Obviously the teacher isn't the person I thought she was.

When school went back I had to go in for a meeting to update on DS current medical situation, and I spent the whole time stressing that these people would think I was rude for not thanking them for the hamper, but reluctant to bring it up. I thought about thanking them for the hamper so it was just over and done with but I had no idea what was in it so didn't want to get caught out. I didn't want to say I didn't get it because don't really won't to get the teacher, who had been great with DS, into trouble.

DH thinks I am stressing about nothing, and he is probably right but the whole thing has left me anxious. The school/students go to a great deal of effort to put together these hampers and I feel it should be acknowledged but I hate to cause problems. What would you do?

Edited by notorico, 10 April 2013 - 06:34 PM.


#2 yodie86

Posted 16 February 2013 - 10:39 AM

I would let the school know that you have not received the hamper and they can follow up with the teacher who was meant to bring it to you. Perhaps attach the email correspondence between you and the teacher about when it will be delivered etc.

That is appalling if the teacher has kept it for herself.

#3 Cacti

Posted 16 February 2013 - 10:44 AM

I'd let the school know that you hadn't received it.

#4 blackcat20

Posted 16 February 2013 - 10:45 AM

QUOTE (yodie86 @ 16/02/2013, 10:39 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I would let the school know that you have not received the hamper and they can follow up with the teacher who was meant to bring it to you. Perhaps attach the email correspondence between you and the teacher about when it will be delivered etc.

That is appalling if the teacher has kept it for herself.


I'd do this too. If so much effort is put into it, then it's disappointing that you haven't received it.

#5 tintoela

Posted 16 February 2013 - 10:47 AM

I would definately let the school know you didn't get it.  What if the same thing happens again and the next person also doesn't say anything.

#6 LynnyP

Posted 16 February 2013 - 10:50 AM

Just ask the teacher what happened, if you aren't satisfied with the answer - go to the school.

#7 Fr0g

Posted 16 February 2013 - 10:51 AM

I'd probably say I didn't receive it either.  It won't come across as ungrateful, or greedy, or wrong - they saw a need to help you out, told you they would, and one individual let the team down.  

I mean this in the nicest possible way: I truly hope by the end of this year, you'll not be worthy of another hamper, OP!

#8 HRH Countrymel

Posted 16 February 2013 - 10:52 AM

Has your friend said anything?  I think she should possibly channel her outrage into some investigation for you.


#9 Kitty Fantastico

Posted 16 February 2013 - 10:52 AM

I too would let them know casually that you never received the hamper. It's not an accusation, just a statement of fact.

#10 *lightning

Posted 16 February 2013 - 10:53 AM

I would let them know you didn't receive the hamper. The teacher might be very busy and forgot about it.

I think it would be unlikely that the teacher kept it but if she has it is something the school should know about.

#11 epl0822

Posted 16 February 2013 - 10:57 AM

I would email the teacher and say something like, "I thought we were meeting on x date - did I get it wrong?" If she doesn't reply within a few days go to the school and say you didn't receive the hamper, if there was some kind of miscommunication/misunderstanding that's alright, but thank you for their thoughts anyway.

#12 Soontobegran

Posted 16 February 2013 - 10:59 AM

I would ask the teacher who was meant to drop it off to you. Is there a chance she left it at the front door and it was stolen?
I would guage her response and then speak to the principal if you are not satisfied. The school families have donated these goods with good faith that they will reach those people whom are deserving.

I see where your DH is coming from but I think the school community needs to know that their school can be trusted so I would not let it go.

#13 aidensmum

Posted 16 February 2013 - 11:01 AM

Could there have been a mix-up and it was left at your front door cos you weren't home and it was stolen? It is very poor form not to get it to you the day it went home though. Who goes overseas before delivering a Xmas hamper that your employer and the school community has trusted you to deliver?

#14 PatG

Posted 16 February 2013 - 11:11 AM

Could your friend who works at the school make a casual comment to someone saying that she'd been chatting to you and asked about the hamper and you told her you had never received it?  That way it's not you who has to bring it up.  I would hope that someone would then contact you to ask what had happened.

#15 happygurl06

Posted 16 February 2013 - 11:20 AM

I would speak to/ email the teacher.  She may have left it at the door?  Put it away and forgot about it?

A school mum offered hand me downs for my DS and weeks went by without them turning up.  She saw me walking one day and asked how I liked the clothes!!  She dropped them off at my next door neighbors house instead.  Lucky for me after several attempts at knocking on their door and notes in their mail box I caught them home.  They still had them... Three huge boxes worth.

#16 Lifesgood

Posted 16 February 2013 - 11:28 AM

QUOTE (countrymel @ 16/02/2013, 11:52 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Has your friend said anything?  I think she should possibly channel her outrage into some investigation for you.

This was what I was thinking

#17 Julie3Girls

Posted 16 February 2013 - 11:42 AM

Do you still have the email on your computer?  If you do, I would reply to the email.
Hi x, just thought I'd follow up on this, as you never dropped the hamper off.  I've been feeling terrible, thinking I must look terrible ungrateful to the school for not having said thank you, but I wasn't sure if there was a misunderstanding?

And yes, if she doesn't reply to you, I'd mention it to the school, along the same lines.

Edited by Julie3Girls, 16 February 2013 - 11:43 AM.


#18 MissingInAction

Posted 16 February 2013 - 02:02 PM

I would say something.  Not because I felt like I deserved the hamper but because if  the teacher had it and didn't give it to me and I didn't get it then WHAT HAPPENED?!  The issue isn't about getting the hamper (i'd be well and truly over it by now) but rather that somebody would actually steal/keep something that is NOT theirs!!




#19 notorico

Posted 17 February 2013 - 06:45 AM

Thanks for that. I will call my friend today and see if she has heard anything. Depending on what she says I will either email the teacher (feeling a bit nervous about this) or speak to the school.

#20 ~sydblue~

Posted 17 February 2013 - 06:54 AM

QUOTE (notorico @ 17/02/2013, 07:45 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Thanks for that. I will call my friend today and see if she has heard anything. Depending on what she says I will either email the teacher (feeling a bit nervous about this) or speak to the school.

Speak to the school. If the teacher has kept it for herself, then who knows what else she has been up to.

If it is not reported, then someone else who may need it more may not get theirs if she thinks she can get away with it.

Hopefully she has misplaced it and just can't find it.

#21 Guest_*SnowFlower*_*

Posted 17 February 2013 - 06:59 AM

Don't say thank you for a hamper you haven't recieved!. The teacher sounds like miss unreliable.

#22 wish*upon*a*star

Posted 17 February 2013 - 07:29 AM

I would attempt one more time with the teacher (by email so I had a record) and if I had no luck I would forward all the correspondance to the school.

#23 JustBeige

Posted 17 February 2013 - 02:37 PM

QUOTE (strawberrypie7 @ 17/02/2013, 08:29 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I would attempt one more time with the teacher (by email so I had a record) and if I had no luck I would forward all the correspondance to the school.

This is what I would do also.  

Is it the P&C (or similar) that does the organising of this?  If so, you can contact them and let them know it hasnt turned up.

#24 TheGreenSheep

Posted 18 February 2013 - 01:22 PM

How did you go OP?

#25 Erma Gerd

Posted 18 February 2013 - 01:34 PM

I'd email the teacher and offer to go and collect it.




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