Jump to content

What would you do about this situation?
FINAL UPDATE Post 128


  • Please log in to reply
132 replies to this topic

#1 notorico

Posted 16 February 2013 - 10:36 AM

DSs school gives hampers to a handful of families at Christmas. The teachers decide who could benefit from one either because they are struggling financially or they are having a difficult time. Just before Christmas I got an email from DS teacher to say he had been chosen to receive a hamper. He had been off school for the whole of December as he had surgery at the beginning of the month (his 4th surgery in 5 months). She said she would drop it into us, she had been to our house before to drop in work etc other times when DS had been away from school. She only lives around the corner so she said she would drop it in before Christmas.

Christmas came and went and we heard nothing from her for weeks. Then an email saying she was out of the country for another few days and would drop it on a particular date. I emailed her back saying that would be great see you then. That date came and went and nothing.

Now a friend of mine works at the same school and she had told me the hamper is quite significant in value and was outraged that we hadn't received it. By this time I was over the whole thing wishing DS had never been chosen and was quite prepared to forget about it, and write the whole thing off. Obviously the teacher isn't the person I thought she was.

When school went back I had to go in for a meeting to update on DS current medical situation, and I spent the whole time stressing that these people would think I was rude for not thanking them for the hamper, but reluctant to bring it up. I thought about thanking them for the hamper so it was just over and done with but I had no idea what was in it so didn't want to get caught out. I didn't want to say I didn't get it because don't really won't to get the teacher, who had been great with DS, into trouble.

DH thinks I am stressing about nothing, and he is probably right but the whole thing has left me anxious. The school/students go to a great deal of effort to put together these hampers and I feel it should be acknowledged but I hate to cause problems. What would you do?

Edited by notorico, 10 April 2013 - 06:34 PM.


#2 yodie86

Posted 16 February 2013 - 10:39 AM

I would let the school know that you have not received the hamper and they can follow up with the teacher who was meant to bring it to you. Perhaps attach the email correspondence between you and the teacher about when it will be delivered etc.

That is appalling if the teacher has kept it for herself.

#3 Cacti

Posted 16 February 2013 - 10:44 AM

I'd let the school know that you hadn't received it.

#4 blackcat20

Posted 16 February 2013 - 10:45 AM

QUOTE (yodie86 @ 16/02/2013, 10:39 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I would let the school know that you have not received the hamper and they can follow up with the teacher who was meant to bring it to you. Perhaps attach the email correspondence between you and the teacher about when it will be delivered etc.

That is appalling if the teacher has kept it for herself.


I'd do this too. If so much effort is put into it, then it's disappointing that you haven't received it.

#5 tintoela

Posted 16 February 2013 - 10:47 AM

I would definately let the school know you didn't get it.  What if the same thing happens again and the next person also doesn't say anything.

#6 LynnyP

Posted 16 February 2013 - 10:50 AM

Just ask the teacher what happened, if you aren't satisfied with the answer - go to the school.

#7 Fr0g

Posted 16 February 2013 - 10:51 AM

I'd probably say I didn't receive it either.  It won't come across as ungrateful, or greedy, or wrong - they saw a need to help you out, told you they would, and one individual let the team down.  

I mean this in the nicest possible way: I truly hope by the end of this year, you'll not be worthy of another hamper, OP!

#8 CountryFeral

Posted 16 February 2013 - 10:52 AM

Has your friend said anything?  I think she should possibly channel her outrage into some investigation for you.


#9 Kitty Fantastico

Posted 16 February 2013 - 10:52 AM

I too would let them know casually that you never received the hamper. It's not an accusation, just a statement of fact.

#10 *lightning

Posted 16 February 2013 - 10:53 AM

I would let them know you didn't receive the hamper. The teacher might be very busy and forgot about it.

I think it would be unlikely that the teacher kept it but if she has it is something the school should know about.

#11 epl0822

Posted 16 February 2013 - 10:57 AM

I would email the teacher and say something like, "I thought we were meeting on x date - did I get it wrong?" If she doesn't reply within a few days go to the school and say you didn't receive the hamper, if there was some kind of miscommunication/misunderstanding that's alright, but thank you for their thoughts anyway.

#12 Soontobegran

Posted 16 February 2013 - 10:59 AM

I would ask the teacher who was meant to drop it off to you. Is there a chance she left it at the front door and it was stolen?
I would guage her response and then speak to the principal if you are not satisfied. The school families have donated these goods with good faith that they will reach those people whom are deserving.

I see where your DH is coming from but I think the school community needs to know that their school can be trusted so I would not let it go.

#13 aidensmum

Posted 16 February 2013 - 11:01 AM

Could there have been a mix-up and it was left at your front door cos you weren't home and it was stolen? It is very poor form not to get it to you the day it went home though. Who goes overseas before delivering a Xmas hamper that your employer and the school community has trusted you to deliver?

#14 PatG

Posted 16 February 2013 - 11:11 AM

Could your friend who works at the school make a casual comment to someone saying that she'd been chatting to you and asked about the hamper and you told her you had never received it?  That way it's not you who has to bring it up.  I would hope that someone would then contact you to ask what had happened.

#15 happygurl06

Posted 16 February 2013 - 11:20 AM

I would speak to/ email the teacher.  She may have left it at the door?  Put it away and forgot about it?

A school mum offered hand me downs for my DS and weeks went by without them turning up.  She saw me walking one day and asked how I liked the clothes!!  She dropped them off at my next door neighbors house instead.  Lucky for me after several attempts at knocking on their door and notes in their mail box I caught them home.  They still had them... Three huge boxes worth.

#16 LifesGood

Posted 16 February 2013 - 11:28 AM

QUOTE (countrymel @ 16/02/2013, 11:52 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Has your friend said anything?  I think she should possibly channel her outrage into some investigation for you.

This was what I was thinking

#17 Julie3Girls

Posted 16 February 2013 - 11:42 AM

Do you still have the email on your computer?  If you do, I would reply to the email.
Hi x, just thought I'd follow up on this, as you never dropped the hamper off.  I've been feeling terrible, thinking I must look terrible ungrateful to the school for not having said thank you, but I wasn't sure if there was a misunderstanding?

And yes, if she doesn't reply to you, I'd mention it to the school, along the same lines.

Edited by Julie3Girls, 16 February 2013 - 11:43 AM.


#18 MissingInAction

Posted 16 February 2013 - 02:02 PM

I would say something.  Not because I felt like I deserved the hamper but because if  the teacher had it and didn't give it to me and I didn't get it then WHAT HAPPENED?!  The issue isn't about getting the hamper (i'd be well and truly over it by now) but rather that somebody would actually steal/keep something that is NOT theirs!!




#19 notorico

Posted 17 February 2013 - 06:45 AM

Thanks for that. I will call my friend today and see if she has heard anything. Depending on what she says I will either email the teacher (feeling a bit nervous about this) or speak to the school.

#20 ~sydblue~

Posted 17 February 2013 - 06:54 AM

QUOTE (notorico @ 17/02/2013, 07:45 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Thanks for that. I will call my friend today and see if she has heard anything. Depending on what she says I will either email the teacher (feeling a bit nervous about this) or speak to the school.

Speak to the school. If the teacher has kept it for herself, then who knows what else she has been up to.

If it is not reported, then someone else who may need it more may not get theirs if she thinks she can get away with it.

Hopefully she has misplaced it and just can't find it.

#21 Guest_*SnowFlower*_*

Posted 17 February 2013 - 06:59 AM

Don't say thank you for a hamper you haven't recieved!. The teacher sounds like miss unreliable.

#22 wish*upon*a*star

Posted 17 February 2013 - 07:29 AM

I would attempt one more time with the teacher (by email so I had a record) and if I had no luck I would forward all the correspondance to the school.

#23 JustBeige

Posted 17 February 2013 - 02:37 PM

QUOTE (strawberrypie7 @ 17/02/2013, 08:29 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I would attempt one more time with the teacher (by email so I had a record) and if I had no luck I would forward all the correspondance to the school.

This is what I would do also.  

Is it the P&C (or similar) that does the organising of this?  If so, you can contact them and let them know it hasnt turned up.

#24 TheGreenSheep

Posted 18 February 2013 - 01:22 PM

How did you go OP?

#25 Erma Gerd

Posted 18 February 2013 - 01:34 PM

I'd email the teacher and offer to go and collect it.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Christina Aguilera announces daughter's name

Christina Aguilera and her fiance, Matt Rutler, have welcomed their daughter into the world.

Couple caught in surrogacy crackdown

An Australian couple caught up in Thailand's surrogacy crackdown have said many parents are distraught and facing dire financial difficulties as are they are unable to bring their surrogate-born babies home.

'Tired' mum dies of undiagnosed diabetes

New mum Nicky Rigby thought her exhaustion was due to the demands of looking after her baby. But the 26-year-old was seriously ill with diabetes, and died due to her condition not being diagnosed.

5 co-sleeping myths busted

In case you are co-sleeping with your baby, and all the ?helpful? advice from others is sending you down the slippery slope of self-doubt, let?s bust a few myths on the topic.

When pregnancy takes you down memory lane

One mum-to-be discovers pregnancy hormones can give rise to some surprising emotions.

What?s your love language?

The secret to making your partner feel special is to know which language of love they favour ? and it?s the same for your kids, too.

Returning to exercise after a caesarean

I had my daughter four months ago via caesarean, and I want to get back into exercise. What are some good first steps I can take?

20 signs of a great relationship

The secret to a perfect relationship is admitting you are wrong after an argument, five kisses a day and sex twice a week, a new survey suggests.

Video: emotional 60-second Robin Williams tribute

Take a minute to remember some of the greatest films of your childhood ... and have a few tissues close at hand.

The realities of escaping domestic violence

?Why doesn?t she just leave?? is the common question people ask when trying to understand domestic violence. For many, leaving the relationship is far from straightforward.

Home truths: the DIY dos and don'ts

A professional renovator gives advice on which jobs you should do yourself, and which you should outsource.

Parenting lessons I?ve yet to learn

Instead of writing about the stuff I do know since becoming a mum, I thought I'd share some of the things I don't. These are the lessons that motherhood hasn't taught me.

Will I be wrecked 'down there' after birth?

Did you worry about how you would look "down there" after giving birth? This mum-to-be found plenty of women willing to share their knowledge.

The new weekend playgroup for working mums

Playgroups are great for kids and parents alike - but the downside is that they often meet during the week, leaving working mums out of the loop.

Letting your toddler be the boss at bedtime

Sick of spending hours trying to get your toddler to sleep? These experts say giving your child more of a say at bedtime might be the answer.

7 mistakes old hands make with new babies

As I sat across the table from my friend ? me, a seasoned mother of three; her, a brand new mum ? I thought of all the mistakes an old-hand parent can make when visiting a newborn baby.

Ezra's tragic death not in vain, mum says

Little Ezra was a "Harry Houdini" who loved trying to escape the family home. Now, after his tragic death, his parents are doing what they can to help others.

Consulting 'Dr Google' when you're pregnant

We're all guilty of turning to the internet for a quick answer when we need medical advice, but Dr Google should be approached with caution - especially when you're pregnant.

Win back some precious time and get FREE coupons

Membership to eBay's Bubs? Corner is free and includes a $10 coupon to spend on nappies each month - a win for multitasking mums!

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win back some precious time and get FREE coupons

Membership to eBay's Bubs? Corner is free and includes a $10 coupon to spend on nappies each month - a win for multitasking mums!

Do you suffer from Precious Firstborn Syndrome?

Testing ?no more tears? shampoo in your own eyes, warming cucumber sticks so they're not cold straight from the fridge, waking a sleeping baby to check they?re still breathing: these are all symptoms of Precious Firstborn Syndrome.

Ezra's tragic death not in vain, mum says

Little Ezra was a "Harry Houdini" who loved trying to escape the family home. Now, after his tragic death, his parents are doing what they can to help others.

7 mistakes old hands make with new babies

As I sat across the table from my friend ? me, a seasoned mother of three; her, a brand new mum ? I thought of all the mistakes an old-hand parent can make when visiting a newborn baby.

Video: When adults act like children

Ever wondered what would happen if adults were allowed to act like children? This dad's hilarious video clip will give you an idea of what life would be like.

Mums hit hardest as flu cases skyrocket

The number of confirmed cases of influenza in Australia has doubled the number for the same time last year - and women are 25 per cent more likely to get it.

The mum who had four babies in nine months

Feeling exhausted due to the demands of caring for a baby? Imagine the life of this mum, who gave birth to three boys and one girl in just nine months.

Everything baby at Big W

Lowest prices on everything baby, only at Big W. Sale starts August 4 and ends August 20 2014.

Smiggle is painting the town red!

We have 3 Red Smiggle prize packs to give away! Enter by posting a photo of something red to your Instagram.

Mum gives birth at school

Chinese manufacturers tap into the cute factor with tree-grown babies.

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

 

Mind, body, beauty, life

Making time for me

We look at your wellbeing, covering health, relationships, beauty and fashion, mind and body.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.