Jump to content

You know you are a parent when...

  • Please log in to reply
20 replies to this topic

#1 *concerned*

Posted 15 February 2013 - 08:59 PM

I was just having a shower and when I went to get the shampoo I found a piece of plastic toast from the kids cooking toys in there too. It barely registered, then I realised that it would only not register with a parent and had a chuckle.

So give us your ending to the topic title... other ones I thought of were:

- you hear a noise that wakes you up and instead of thinking "Is someone breaking in?' you think "What's wrong with the baby?"
- Easter is a perfectly legitimate time for the kids to have chocolate for dinner  ph34r.gif

#2 podg

Posted 15 February 2013 - 09:03 PM

When there's someone looking into the gap between the bowl and the seat saying ' Look (sister) I think I can see mummy's poo coming!'

#3 Marchioness Flea

Posted 15 February 2013 - 09:04 PM

Your husband inserts a disc into this computer and it doesn't work, so he opens the drive thingy and an old credit card comes out.
Our daughter went through a phase of sticking things into slots...heater vents, computer disc drives, you get the picture.

#4 Rach_V

Posted 15 February 2013 - 09:07 PM

... you find yourself wandering around the house randomly singing "We're riding in a hellllllliiiiiicopter, the rotor blades go wocka, wocka, wocka, etc etc."

... a trip to the supermarket minus the kids is as good as a trip to any day spa!

... It's NYE and YOU'RE the designated driver for your OWN parents!!!

#5 MintyBiscuit

Posted 15 February 2013 - 09:07 PM

You're stupidly proud when one of the first words your child has learned context for is poo

#6 ~Nic~

Posted 15 February 2013 - 09:07 PM

QUOTE (*concerned* @ 15/02/2013, 09:59 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
- Easter is a perfectly legitimate time for the kids to have chocolate for dinner  breakfastph34r.gif

... you know that most mornings, you will need to avoid the lego / matchbox car booby trap that your 3yo has left on the floor next to the bed.

#7 Black Velvet

Posted 15 February 2013 - 09:09 PM

You hear a kid call out Mum in the shops and you automatically turn around even when your kids aren't with you.

#8 Mumof32b!

Posted 15 February 2013 - 09:10 PM

You hold out your hands to catch vomit without breaking the conversation you are having at the time  sick.gif

#9 Loz07

Posted 15 February 2013 - 09:10 PM

You check on your child/baby playing when they stop making noise, not when you can hear them having a whinge/grizzle.... wink.gif

#10 Cranky Kitten

Posted 15 February 2013 - 09:11 PM

...you don't bat an eyelid at the statement (accompanied by much gagging and coughing from child) "well, don't stick your foot so far down your throat then!" coming from your husband at bath-time.

Or you open your bag to find your keys, but instead pull out 3 matchbox cars, a tube of teething gel and a half chewed piece of toast before you find them.

#11 *concerned*

Posted 15 February 2013 - 09:14 PM

I remembered another one I forgot to add...

- when you can't find your mobile phone and looking in the decorative pot with sticks in it is a legitimate place to look...

#12 iheartu

Posted 15 February 2013 - 09:16 PM

You rock an imaginary infant, while standing in a shop/cafe/pub.

All manner of poo talk is normal.

10pm is a late night.

#13 opethmum

Posted 15 February 2013 - 09:21 PM

Poo does not scare you no matter how it is presented.

When you hear a child cry you think "thank goodness it's not mine" and when it is "oh gosh damn it"

The fifteen minute conversation you have with your DD why daddy/mummy does not need help with going to the toilet results in being told by said child that you like cleaning up pooey nappies.

When you do not require weight measures any more because you compare them to your child's size.

When getting to bed before 8:30 is a good night.

When you are at work/anywhere sans child humming the tunes of your child's toys and their favourite songs.

#14 Alacritous~Andy

Posted 15 February 2013 - 09:22 PM

QUOTE (iheartu @ 15/02/2013, 09:16 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
You rock an imaginary infant, while standing in a shop/cafe/pub.

All manner of poo talk is normal.

10pm is a late night.

I caught myself patting the "bottom" of a bag of flour while waiting at the checkout once.

#15 ~Mintie~

Posted 15 February 2013 - 09:23 PM

- when you have had poo floating in your bath (thanks bath buddy!)
- when you've had milky snot drip into your mouth ( holding baby up above my head, wriggling him about and obviously not enough attention to detail..)

#16 alxase

Posted 15 February 2013 - 09:30 PM

Packing for a holiday becomes a week long ordeal with several lists involved and you still forget something.
You haven't added a photo of yourself on Facebook since you became a mum but you have clogged up everyone's news feed with a bazillion photos of your kids.

#17 dogma

Posted 15 February 2013 - 09:37 PM

When you wake up with one arm and one leg hanging off the side of the bed while your pint sized sleeping partner is spreadeagled across 7/8ths of it... When you're so used to listening to the Wiggles that you have it on even when by yourself... When you'll sing and dance on a public street to entertain same pint sized poppet... When you hear yourself saying "we are not going to the park unless you put your knickers on"...

#18 surprizzzed

Posted 15 February 2013 - 09:38 PM

You need to go to the toilet and you automatically start walking to the parent's room at the shopping centre even though you're alone (I did this today!)

#19 FlamingoG

Posted 15 February 2013 - 09:42 PM

When you find yourself complimenting the 'good farting' going on.

And when internet shopping is all about finding baby clothes not handbags.

#20 Flaxen

Posted 15 February 2013 - 09:49 PM

Having your child sleep through the night is a godsend, but strangely annoying too, because you still wake up at the usual times they wake up, then cant get back to sleep cause you are thinking, "any minute now, any minute now...."  (It took a good two weeks of DD sleeping through the night before i stopped waking up myself.)

When out and about, the smell of a pooey nappy fills you with dread and you secretly hope its your friends child who needs changing, not yours  ph34r.gif

The back seat of your car is unrecognisable- and slightly resembles the toybox thats coincidentally empty, with the addition of kicked-off tiny shoes, socks and and the half eaten bit of toast from yesterday.

Getting excited over shoe shopping is no longer related to a new pair of heels on sale, rather a pair of functional childrens shoes, in the right size, and costing less than your last petrol reciept.

#21 ~nikki~

Posted 16 February 2013 - 02:10 AM

When your in a hotel for a romantic night without the kids, take of your bra to get in the spa and a dummy falls out!

1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users


Newborn baby found in a nativity scene

Police are trying to trace a woman who abandoned a baby boy in the manger of a church nativity scene.

Life would be harder without my kids

The Humans of New York Facebook page is well known for sharing touching, real stories from one of the world's biggest cities – and it's just hit the heart of parents everywhere.

Mum dresses as Wonder Woman for last day of chemo

A Brisbane mum dressed up as a superhero to celebrate the end of her chemotherapy and created a moment her family will remember forever.

How a raisin can predict a toddler's IQ

All you need to assess a child's future intelligence is a plastic cup and a raisin, according to new research.

Former Hi-5 member's cannabis hope

Former Hi-5 star Tim Harding hopes a cannabis-derived drug will help control his daughter's epilepsy, which sees the four-year-old suffering between 50 and 100 seizures a day.

The top 5 reasons your toddler throws a tantrum

Whilst to the outside world little people may appear to have it easy, it's actually not always the case – just ask any toddler who's had their toast cut up the wrong way.

Glenn McGrath thought he'd lost his wife and baby

Australian cricket ledged Glen McGrath has spoken about the moment he thought he might lose his wife, Sara and their baby daughter, Madison.


Inside my Centrelink nightmare

Mother Bec Smith has been trying for months to access Centrelink payments. A "serious error" is preventing her.

Warnings over push for hourly childcare billing

Australia's peak childcare body has called for caution around the Turnbull government's push for childcare centres to charge parents by the hour, not by the day.

Cate Blanchett thought about adopting for years

Cate Blanchett says her recent adoption of a baby girl had nothing to do with wanting a daughter after having three sons.

Kate Walsh: 'I can't have kids'

Grey's Anatomy star Kate Walsh has revealed she is unable to have children because she has experienced early menopause.

The parasite that could boost fertility

The Tsimane women of Bolivia are often revered as among the most fertile in the world - on average having 10 children in their lifetimes -- but some are even more fertile than others.

Family may sue cousin over genetics

A Melbourne couple is suing the Royal Children's Hospital for failing to diagnose a genetic disorder in their first child - an error they allege caused them to have another child with severe disabilities.

Strange things mums have done in labour

While most women in labour focus on the upcoming birth of their baby, some women do more interesting things.

Michael Clarke reveals baby's name

When Michael Clarke said he was wrapped around the finger of his little princess, he wasn't joking.

The logistics of breastfeeding twins

Our life is more or less divided into neat four hour parcels of time and it's hard to get much of anything done in the time between feeds.

How to stop people ruining Christmas

We can make a conscious effort about how we react to those curly Christmas day scenarios that can send us up the wall, or should we say chimney.

Lots of formula offers for desperate mum

The mum who was down to her last three tins of baby formula said she had received hundreds of calls and offers to send her formula.

Surviving breast cancer while pregnant

It was last thing Rebecca O'Donnell expected at 30 weeks' pregnant. One morning, while putting on her bra, she felt a pea-sized lump in her right breast.

Cot sheet brands for the nursery

With so many awesome cot sheet options these days, we thought we'd put together a list of go-to brands for you to seek out for your baby's bed.


What's hot on EB

How I survived breast cancer while pregnant

It was last thing Rebecca O'Donnell expected at 30 weeks' pregnant. One morning, while putting on her bra, she felt a pea-sized lump in her right breast.

Grieving father's letter to Bataclan terrorists: "...this little boy will threaten you by being happy and free"

A grieving father whose wife was killed in the attacks on the Bataclan Theatre last weekend has written an open letter to her killers.

5 challenges of motherhood - and how to see them differently

Despite the smiles, the sloppy kisses and the pure magic children bring to our lives, it's hard to deny that motherhood can be tough.

4 challenges of being a new dad - and how to face them

Becoming a parent is challenging – and that applies to both mums and dads.

My battle against antenatal and postnatal depression

I was five months pregnant when I realised I needed help.

Children swapped at birth will not be returned to biological parents

A boy and girl accidentally swapped on the day they were born will stay with the families who have raised them, a South African court has ruled.

A quarter of men believe they get 'man periods'

A British study has revealed one in four men believe they have a monthly cycle.

Baby deposit

How much do you need to save for a 'baby deposit'?

It's fairly straightforward to calculate a house deposit, but how much money do you need to save up for a baby?

Dad's beautiful note to his wife, a nurse

To anyone else it might just look like a picture of a mum having a nap with her toddler.

'I was a complete schmuck': Mike Baird opens up about his wife's postnatal depression

When his wife Kerryn was not well following the birth of their daughter, NSW Premier Mike Baird buried himself in his work.

Mum's desperate plea as whooping cough alert issued

A desperate mother has shared a heart-breaking video of her baby struggling to cope with a coughing fit caused by pertussis.

Coffee could help you live longer

New US research found people who report drinking three to five cups of coffee a day are less likely to die prematurely from heart disease, suicide, diabetes or Parkinson's disease.

The joy and dread of playdates

To live vicariously through your child is to rediscover anxieties you thought dead and buried.

Sick baby could die without scarce special formula, mum says

Lizzie Cann is down to her last three tins of a special formula in short supply.

Adorable toddler's strop foiled by squeaky shoes

We're probably all familiar with the pouty bottom lip and tightly crossed arms of a tot mid-strop.

More sex during World Cup created more baby boys

More sex during South Africa's World Cup meant a disproportionately high number of boys were born nine months later, a new study has found.

Win one of two ABC Shop prize packs in time for Christmas

What a boon it would be to have your toddler's Christmas gifts covered this year. We have two awesome ABC Shop prize packs to give away to two lucky winners.

Do fitness challenges really work?

Fitness challenges aren't new. There's Michelle Bridges 12WBT and a bunch of other programs if you really want to lose weight.

What are pregnant women Googling?

Pregnancy is a huge change for any woman, so it's natural we'll have questions - and turn to Google to ask them.



Can't decide?

Check out the Essential Baby Names section for some inspiration

Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.