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Would you drop the day sleeps?

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#1 *CrazyCatLady*

Posted 15 February 2013 - 04:00 PM

My DD is 2 and 4 months. In the past month or so I've noticed that it's really hard for her to get to sleep at night on the days she has slept. She's never been much of a sleeper and her whole life I've been tearing my hair out trying to find ways for her to get the amount of sleep the books say she needs.

Lately she will sleep for 1 - 1.5 hours in the day, and is usually awake by 2 or 2:30. Then at night it will take her 1.5 - 2 hours to go to sleep. This drives me insane.

In the past couple of weeks she's had a few days where she's decided not to have a day sleep. On these days she will usually (but not always) be pretty grumpy while she's getting ready for bed, but go to sleep within 30 mins.

On those nights she will be asleep before 8 and wake up most days at 6:30-7. Obviously it's less sleep if she's taken longer to go down.

So given this situation, would you drop the day sleep? i feel like it's a trade-off for me, I'm reluctant to give up that little bit of peace in the middle of the day (and we're TTC so it'd be nice to be able to nap in the 1st trimester once I do get PG), but I'm not sure if the 2-hour-long bedtime battle is worth it.


#2 XieXie

Posted 15 February 2013 - 04:06 PM

Drop the sleep. My DD dropped hers about the same age, as we had the same problem at bedtime with her lying awake for hours. It's not really fair trying to force her to go to sleep at night when she's just not tired.

#3 LoveMy3Kids

Posted 15 February 2013 - 04:08 PM

We had the same thing happening and dropped the sleep. It worked well. Now she's out like a light most nights not long after going to bed instead of being awake for hours.

#4 cinnabubble

Posted 15 February 2013 - 04:08 PM

I'd drop it. A 10pm sleeptime does nobody any favours.

#5 kirtyw

Posted 15 February 2013 - 04:09 PM

My son (2 and 4 months) is at the same stage.  He fights his day sleep.  If he sleeps (2-3pm) he's awake for at least an hour (asleep by 830 last night... after an hour of 'joy').  If he has no day sleep he's out to the count about 10 seconds after he goes to be at 7.  I am just being selective... he has a nap on monday (as he has swimming lessons that morning and is exhausted).  If he sleeps in until after 730 I won't try for a day sleep.  Up before 7 and I'll try.  Sometime I just organise to be in the car at nap time.. so he has a 30 minute nap.. other than that we have a 'quiet time'. Today we watched a dvd.  Other days we read, draw, or he plays by himself in his brother's room (where the toys are kept!).. With the TTC I don't know... I know I can face an afternoon with a grumpy toddler if I've had a restful evening/night before... I hate the mucking around in bed....  Having said that he does still NEED a nap a few times a week... transition stage!    wacko.gif

#6 Sunshineandsmiles

Posted 15 February 2013 - 04:23 PM

My DD is 2.5 years and I put her down about 1.30 (we did have some issues but was putting her down earlier before) for around an hour and a half, she goes to bed around 7idh and falls asleep by 7.30/7.45. Mostly sleeps till around 6.30. I found changing the time I put her down helped enormously. She gets grumpy if she doesn't have her day sleep.

#7 RunDMC

Posted 15 February 2013 - 04:59 PM

I am in 3 rd trimester so I am trying to do everything possible to preserve the nap. So have in the last few weeks started the following.

DS is 2.8

We do a dedicated active morning activity of at least 45 mins before lunch - swimming, soccer, ride to the park, long walk amongst the other things we need to do- shopping, banking et al.

I find that if he goes straight down after lunch he will go straight to sleep, but if I leave it until 1.30 he will struggle for 30/45 mins before going to sleep. Will sleep 1.5/2 hours. Have to wake him up.

In the evening before dinner we do at least 30 mins (if DH is home they do at least an hour) of bike or scootering in the driveway. Sometimes I am so tired that I sit in the chair calling out 1 2 3 go for him to run up and back.

Then dinner, bath, book, bed. Into bed by 7:15/30/45 and most nights off to sleep within 20 mins after talking or singing to himself. Wakes up 7:00/30/45

#8 Earth-Angel

Posted 17 February 2013 - 07:41 PM

i'm going to agree with RunDMC with the whole excercise thing. I think why kids used to day sleep for longer in the olden days was that they were much more active then most kids are these days. Less activity means less sleep needed for repair and recovery.

My DS who is 32mths old mostly has a day sleep of 1.5-2hours. But we normally walk to playgroup or around the neighbourhood which is a few kms every day and then if he's slept late (which is 3pm) then I usually get DH to take him to the park after dinner and run him around for 30mins before bath and bedtime at 730 and he's generally out in less than 15mins.

#9 Therese

Posted 17 February 2013 - 07:45 PM

I would also drop it. We dropped the day sleep for the same reason and although I missed it, I didn't miss the battle of bedtime that we had when she did have a day sleep.

#10 spannah

Posted 17 February 2013 - 07:51 PM

Could you try just shortening the nap to just one sleep cycle (40-50mins)? Wake her up at that point and see how the evening goes.

#11 Fright bat

Posted 17 February 2013 - 07:59 PM

Keep the sleep. Work on bedtime. This is a phase that will pass. It's not fair to run a child to exhaustion just because adapting your bedtime routine to the changing disciplinary needs of your child is 'too hard'.

Get her out and active in the afternoon. And work on teaching her that bedtime means bedtime and she needs to lie still and go to sleep.

#12 pippityroo

Posted 17 February 2013 - 08:09 PM

I've been having this issue with my daughter who turned 2 last month. It's been hell at night trying to get her to sleep. Especially since I'm the one left to deal with her & the baby who needs to be in bed too (hubby works at night as a baker, and is in bed at 7 to be up for work at 11).

About 6 weeks ago she started playing up at bed time, and it was taking longer to get her to sleep (instead of her usual into bed and straight to sleep). So we dropped her day sleep a week ago, not only to help with night time, but she wasn't sleeping most days anyhow, would play up then as well. She has been coping really well without her nap. But her bed time hasn't improved much. It was better the first few nights, but the last 3 nights has been horrible. Took 3hrs to get her to sleep on Friday, and an hr each last night & tonight. She's fine once she's asleep, just getting there is the problem. Argh!

Anyway, I haven't really got any advice, just wanted you to know you're not alone sad.gif I hope it all improves for you!

#13 Tessied

Posted 17 February 2013 - 08:36 PM

I would drop the sleep, that is what I had to do.

My son would sleep 1.5-2.5 hours during the day no worries, but he wouldn't want to sleep until 9.30/10pm no matter what time the nap was.

I dropped it and he now goes to bed at 7pm within 10 minutes.

#14 Guest_divineM_*

Posted 18 February 2013 - 08:22 AM

Not sure if this will help but it has worked for us. DD is almost 2 and still naps (although it usually is only 1-1.5 hrs). A few weeks ago she started playing up at bedtime. Because I thought it was just that she didn't want to miss out on anything rather than she was not tired, one night I started telling her how it's bedtime for ALL little kids and we went through all her playgroup fiends, daycare fiends and her cousins and each time she asked I would say "Yes, so and so is also sleeping". This seems to calm her down and "accept her fate". we do it every night now.

Edited by divineM, 18 February 2013 - 08:23 AM.

#15 tazcan

Posted 21 February 2013 - 01:17 PM

I dropped the day nap just after DS turned 2. He has always needed much less sleep than the average baby/ toddler and it was turning into a nightmare. Firstly it was hard to get him down for a nap at any time of the day - a big stressful battle. Then he would wake up extremely grumpy and remain that way for an hour or two, and then of course it was very tricky to get him to sleep at night.

Dropping his nap solved everything (apart from the fact that I now get no break for me during the day). Very occasionally if he's very tired he will drop off for a nap in the car on the way back from somewhere at around lunchtime but this hardly ever happens anymore.

'm going to agree with RunDMC with the whole excercise thing. I think why kids used to day sleep for longer in the olden days was that they were much more active then most kids are these days. Less activity means less sleep needed for repair and recovery

While I agree that exercise and activity during the day promotes sleep at night, some kids just need less sleep than others no matter how active they are. My DS is very active throughout the day, never stopping for a minute, and he usually gets 3-4 hours of outdoor play at the local oval or playground, plus kindergym, swimming etc on some days.

Edited by tazcan, 21 February 2013 - 01:18 PM.

#16 Guest_divineM_*

Posted 21 February 2013 - 01:32 PM

QUOTE (tazcan @ 21/02/2013, 02:17 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Very occasionally if he's very tired he will drop off for a nap in the car on the way back from somewhere at around lunchtime but this hardly ever happens anymore.

Tazcan -  at what age did your DS stop dropping off in the car? My DD is turning 2 soon and while she still naps I expect her to stop earlier than her peers as she has always slept less that the rest (of the playgroup for example), but I'm dreading the stage where she will fall asleep inthe car if we are going somewhere at 4pm for example. Did your DS just suddenly start sleeping more at night and so didn't need the day sleep (car or otherwise)?

#17 tazcan

Posted 21 February 2013 - 01:55 PM

Tazcan - at what age did your DS stop dropping off in the car? My DD is turning 2 soon and while she still naps I expect her to stop earlier than her peers as she has always slept less that the rest (of the playgroup for example), but I'm dreading the stage where she will fall asleep inthe car if we are going somewhere at 4pm for example. Did your DS just suddenly start sleeping more at night and so didn't need the day sleep (car or otherwise)?

DS is now about 2.8 yrs and he doesn't often fall asleep in the car now. When I first dropped the daynap he would sometimes fall asleep in the car after the mornings activities on the way home at lunch, but a few times he fell asleep at about 3pm on the way to do the school pick up, (but not usually as it's quite a short journey).

Unfortunately DS didn't start sleeping much more at night - it just got harder and harder to get him to have a nap (he would throw massive tantrums and take anything from 30-60mins to go to sleep) and it would take him up to about 1.5 hours to go to sleep at night - no matter if we put him to bed earlier or later. He now goes to bed between 7 and 7.30pm and wakes up between 5.00 and 6.00am, and has not nap. So he will have anything from 9.5 - 11 hours of sleep in 24 hours.

ETA  - when we first dropped the day nap he started waking up later in the morning which was wonderful - but this only lasted a couple of weeks.

Edited by tazcan, 21 February 2013 - 01:56 PM.

#18 Guest_divineM_*

Posted 21 February 2013 - 02:22 PM

Tazcan - your DS sounds a bit like my DD. While other kids seem to redistribute the sleep when they transition from one stage to the next (for example from 2 naps to one, most in our playgroup slept 2x 1 or 1.5 hours, now sleep 1x 2-2.5 hrs), DD just keeps reducing the total sleep. I have these fantasies that once she drops the nap she will sleep in till 7... but I shouldn't set myself up for dissapointment. I also need to stop looking at anything that talks about "average sleep needs" as it only depresses me.

#19 Natttmumm

Posted 21 February 2013 - 03:54 PM

We have decided to leave DD2 to drop her own sleep. She is asleep by. 830 or 9 pm at night though. So it's not too bad. If it was 10 I would stop the sleep.
Day sleep is 1230 to 2pm.
DD2 is 3.5 years.
Without a sleep she is a nightmare and we all suffer plus I have a newborn so I can't deal with her easily.
I keep thinking she will stop it herself but no - plus she would sleep anywhere daycare, car, home etc so its easy and she asks to go to bed after lunch.

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