Jump to content

Baby no#3 Homebirth Story (longish read!)
There is a previous stillbirth mentioned near the end


  • Please log in to reply
5 replies to this topic

#1 EoinCuinn

Posted 14 February 2013 - 07:36 PM

Hey guys (and ladies that read here)

We had baby girl no#3 yesterday. That now makes a 4yr old, a 2yr old and a 1 day old. Not bad going. Pretty sure we'll stop there. Life is certainly only going to get more interesting from here!

Our first two were born in hospital. Our first was, after much consideration and a lot of information processing, a completely unnecessary Cesarean.

Our second was an attempted homebirth, that ended up in a transfer after a serious amount of meconium in the waters when they broke. That transfer also ended up in a cesarean, but unlike the first one, this one became a necessity. Again, there was a lot more information gathering, and a lot of steps discovered that could have prevented this one, but only if we started the those steps earlier in the whole process.

Now I'll be dead set honest here. I was indoctrinated in the whole "doctor is always right" syndrome leading up to the first one, and I left the hospital solid in my mind the obs / peads had it right.

Retrospective education and long thoughts soon dispelled that myth. There were so many things they got wrong leading up to, and during that process that were wrong it's not funny.

This time around we did everything the right way. My wife followed better eating protocols. We looked up, and tried great positioning techniques, she went to Bowen, Acupuncture, you name it.

When my wife went into labor, we told no one except our doula. When she got to our house, we then told no one but our midwives. The only person who had any idea was my MIL when she came and got our kids in the morning, about 4 hrs before she gave birth. 12 hrs of labour, and we had our gorgeous new addition in our house. I think I rang my mother about 4 hours later and told her.

I will tell you right now that watching my wife giving birth in our house, with our lovely midwives and doula with us,was exhilarating. Nothing will ever compare to it. Nothing.

The hospital system of doctor fueled intervention has robbed us, and so many other people like us, leaving empty experiences that can rarely be fully recovered from, where low risk pregnancies have cascaded into unnecessary steps to get that baby out.

I'm not after a debate/argument/opinions in reply to this. Everyone has different sides to this. I've met with and talked to people who have said I was endangering my unborn child, and I've had other people congratulate me on the wise choice we have made. At the end of the day I believe we had a greater chance of a healthier outcome by having our baby at home.

The most common argument here is "how would you feel if the worst happened? What if you baby died at home, and you could have saved her at the hospital?" We've had a stillbirth, a 20wk gestation premature rupture of the membranes. It sucked. It still sucked. But it means I have some measure of what it is like to bury a baby. It didn't put me off the homebirth. Statistically, our homebirth, after two prior cesareans, is STILL safer than giving birth in a hospital. The one statistic that gets put out there, the increased risk of uterine rupture, is so insignificant against the risks of a repeat c section it's not funny. Have a quick google for maternal death rates in hospital vs maternal death rates at midwife attended homebirths. We went into this process with clear knowledge that, should the worst outcome be the result, we had made informed choices, and would live with them.

One final note.

I've been out today. Not to visit my wife and new baby in a noisy hospital with some strange face checking on my wife every 30 mins. I took my kids to playgroup and preschool while my wife relaxed at home with our new daughter. They are currently asleep on the couch. Last night we all slept in our bed, in our comfortable house, with our other two girls nearby in their rooms. Bliss.

If your other half comes to you and suggests a homebirth, don't do what I did our first child. Go for it.



#2 RealityBites

Posted 14 February 2013 - 07:45 PM

Thank you for sharing this, just what I needed to read tonight.

Congratulations on the birth of your baby, and on a wonderful birth experience. My lovely birth is still my best memory, five years on  original.gif

ETA Sorry I didn't realise this was in the Dad's Zone section, but well done on being a supportive partner and enlightened male!

#3 tadpole-bean

Posted 14 February 2013 - 07:47 PM

Congratulations! I too realised the joy of homebirthing our 3rd child. Wonderful! I wanted to with my first two babes as well but alas due to gestational diabetes, my birthcenter midwives were not able to provide that care. The birthcenter is also a wonderful antenatal/delivery care.

I recall how content and rested I was, to be able to sleep with my baby in my own bed and best of all my husband and sons were not robbed of that special bonding either. Enjoy this special time.

#4 Mumsyto2

Posted 14 February 2013 - 08:16 PM

Congrats on the new addition !

QUOTE (EoinCuinn @ 14/02/2013, 07:36 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
The one statistic that gets put out there, the increased risk of uterine rupture, is so insignificant against the risks of a repeat c section it's not funny. Have a quick google for maternal death rates in hospital vs maternal death rates at midwife attended homebirths.

I am assuming that you have taken into account that maternal death rates in hospitals will ALWAYS be significantly higher than midwife attended home births due to the fact that high risk women attend hospitals rather than have homebirths. That skews the statistics somewhat and leaves you comparing apples with oranges so I'm not sure what your point is there.

The only way you can possibly compare maternal death rates (or anything outcome for that matter) in hospitals vs midwife attended home births properly is to compare the stats for midwife attended home births vs the stats for women in hospital who would be eligible for a home birth i.e. an equivalent subset with no complicating factors that would make them more predisposed to certain outcomes - then you are truly comparing apples with apples rather than apples with oranges if that makes sense. As far as I am aware no such stats currently exist to differentiate the outcomes of subsets of patients with predetermined risks in the hospital system as it would be a logistical nightmare to generate. Given this it really is very unfair to say that women with no predetermined risk factors have a chance of better or worse outcome in this regard in either the hospital system or the homebirth situation.

#5 EoinCuinn

Posted 14 February 2013 - 08:57 PM

QUOTE (Mumsyto2 @ 14/02/2013, 09:16 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Congrats on the new addition !

Given this it really is very unfair to say that women with no predetermined risk factors have a chance of better or worse outcome in this regard in either the hospital system or the homebirth situation.


I agree exactly what you are saying here, and further up with the comparison with apples and oranges, and I can see where you are going, and you are dead on correct.

I guess though what it could be fair to say (and this is the true point of contention from the medical side of things) is you are far more likely to have unnecessary intervention with the hospital situation, which in itself leads to poorer/ unsatisfactory outcomes for mother and child. However you are right, there never will be stats on that. More to that, there could possibly be no study done on the physiological differences between the two.

On the opposite extreme, what this situation leads to is people insisting on homebirths with NO support because they now have a distrust of the medical system, and there are some in that number who are a genuine high risk.

I have read great stories and sides from both sides of the coin, and everyone has legitimate arguments and views. There are close friends of mine who went for elective c sections, and are happy with their choice, and believe that they made the right one. I would never go to them and suggest they were nuts, and in return they have never told me I was nuts for choosing a homebirth, which I love them for. Each to their own, and at the end of the day, that's where it stops. Every mother should be able to have their babies where and how they want.

Thanks for your comments, I appreciate the constructive nature of them.

#6 deejie

Posted 14 February 2013 - 09:04 PM

Congratulations on the birth of your daughter  wub.gif

Our DS2 was born at home. DS1 was born in hospital (standard, run of the mill low risk pregnancy) and I only just managed to avoid a C/S by the skin of my teeth. Still ended up with forceps though which damaged a facial nerve in DS1's cheek sad.gif  I realised in hindsight how poorly managed and intervention ridden DS1's birth was.

I agree, there is nothing better than birthing in your home environment where you feel safe, you ARE safe and you are with people you know and trust.

Unlike you, my DH was (let's just say) not as supportive of homebirth to begin with. Having now seen it and being able to compare hospital versus home, he is a convert wink.gif

Enjoy this special time.

ETA-- whoops realised this was in Dad Chat!

Edited by deejie, 14 February 2013 - 09:05 PM.





1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Exclusive Black Friday Sale!

Get over 40% off selected products, including prams, baby carriers, cloth nappies, sleeping bags and much more! 24 hours only, on May 6 - register now for your special code.

Kelly Clarkson shares first photos of son

Kelly Clarkson has shown off the first photos of her son, Remington Alexander Blackstock.

5 childbirth myths that need to be busted

Birth is an unpredictable, mysterious process that intrigues us all, and there is a lot of misinformation out there.

Mum of three fatally shot by toddler while driving

A US mother has been shot by her toddler while driving on a highway in Wisconsin.

All you need is one minute to work out

The seven-minute-work out is old news. Research shows the effectiveness of going hell-for-leather for just one minute.

Pregnant women needed to join diabetes study

Pregnant woman in country Australia will help Adelaide researchers figure out why cases of type 1 diabetes have doubled over the past two decades.

Just announced: the Mountain Buggy Unirider

It's the perfect solution to combat those toddler meltdowns when they no longer want to be in a pram but can't walk long distances.

Authorities euthanise dog that fatally bit a newborn baby

A pit bull mix that fatally bit a 3-day-old infant last week has been euthanised, authorities said.

The push for Medicare to fund lactation consultants

While meeting with a lactation consultant can make an enormous difference to a new mother, it's not a service that is available through the public health system.

Why it's perfectly natural to dislike other people's children

Members of a popular forum are fiercely debating whether it is acceptable to dislike a friend's child.

Woman gives birth on plane, names baby after airline

A pregnant woman who unexpectedly gave birth on a flight has named her new baby after the airline, Jetstar.

Heartwarming photos show the joy of adoption after foster care

Children living in foster care can feel like their future is less than clear. But that uncertainty disappears the day they are adopted by their "forever family" 

'Oh my god, it's a baby!' Mum shocked to give birth

When the cramps started to kick in, Klara Dollan just assumed a painful period was starting.

Mum's Facebook plea: 'Help me find my daughter's father'

Kerryn has a unusual present planned for daughter Imi's 13th birthday celebrations - she hopes to be able to be able to give the soon-to-be the teenager her first ever photo of her dad.

Is it possible for your house to be too clean?

Our houses are cleaner than ever before. But how clean is too clean? Could a sterile home be putting your family's health at risk?

Millions of Monkeys: puzzles that grow with your toddler

Here's a puzzle that grows with them; the Puzzle Grow Pack by Millions of Monkeys.

Baby names from Britpop

If you grew up in the 90s you might want to look to the genre of Britpop music for baby name inspiration.

What to eat and drink when you have gastro

When you catch a bug that causes acute infectious gastroenteritis (gastro), your stomach and intestinal tract become inflamed, causing diarrhoea, nausea, vomiting, abdominal cramping and pain. The last thing you probably feel like doing is eating.

'To this day, I owe her my life'

Would I have survived if I hadn't crossed that street?

Why baby Sonny needs you to vaccinate your children

Caitlin is a firm believer in the importance of immunisation to protect children from harmful and deadly diseases.

Five-year-old's photo captures beauty of motherhood

There is no make-up or special outfits and hairdos, but the five-year-old boy who took this picture captured the essence of motherhood as well as any professional photographer.

Babies know whether you are naughty or nice

Studies have shown that infants in the first months of life try to avoid dealing with social wrongdoers - for example, sharing less with them and helping them less - and they expect others to, too.

 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Articles

Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

The babies who are one in 70 million

Bethani Webb was excited to find out she was pregnant, but the first time mum did not realise she was carrying four babies not one.

Exclusive Black Friday Sale!

Get over 40% off selected products, including prams, baby carriers, cloth nappies, sleeping bags and much more! 24 hours only, on May 6 - register now for your special code.

Cafe offers breastfeeding mums a free cup of tea

A Sydney cafe is offering breastfeeding mums free cups of tea in a bid to show support for the right of women to nurse their babies wherever they choose.

To snip or not to snip? When the decision is not clear cut

Jamie Oliver, who considered a vasectomy, is to be a father again. A fellow dad reflects on his own decision 11 years ago

Doctors stunned by rare twins born almost six weeks apart

To everyone's surprise, Kristen Miller "kept doing better each day", keeping her second baby safe.

Baby book ideas for modern parents

Before my son was born I was given a lovely baby book full of blank pages waiting to be filled with weights and heights and first words.

The adorable smile of a baby seeing his mum clearly for the first time

There is no doubt seeing their child smile for the first time is an unforgettable moment for parents everywhere.

Mum tells how toddler 'nearly hung himself' in cot mishap

When Alison Johnson put her 18-month-old Caleb down for a nap, she had no reason to believe her son was in any danger.

Babies are still switched at birth? Yes, it can happen

All my panic and tears aside, my biggest question looking back is about the kind of security measures used in the maternity ward.

Doctors slammed for taking selfie with newborn

Everyone who visits a mum in hospital in the days following childbirth wants to get a photo with the new baby.

ergoPouch Twosie Sleepsuit for winter breastfeeding

Finally, there's a way to keep warm while breastfeeding through winter.

Health check: How long does sex 'normally' last?

What to do with this information? My advice would be to try not to think about it during the throes of passion.

When breastfeeding sucks: fixing common problems

From niplash to tight boobs, biting to milk supply issues, Pinky McKay looks at common breastfeeding issues and how to solve them.

10 things I've learnt in my first six months with twins

Six months on we're all still alive, and the more we get to know each other the easier the days become.

Mum's loving kiss leaves baby fighting for life

Kirsty Carrington thought nothing of giving her newborn son a kiss, little did she know it would leave the baby fighting for life.

When doing chores is your new 'me time'

After children, 'me time' looks a little different.

Get going: 14 travel strollers for families on the move

A stroller can make or break travelling with a baby or toddler. Here are 15 great single travel stroller options.

10 ways toddlers are terrific

It always pays to remind yourself of how terrific toddlers can be - they're little like this for such a short time

 

ENTER NOW

Do your kids love bananas?

This is the comp for you! We have $800 worth of Myer gift cards and boxes of Australian Bananas to be won. Entry is simple: just post a pic of your little one enjoying a banana in the comments of the FB post to enter.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.