Jump to content

Baby no#3 Homebirth Story (longish read!)
There is a previous stillbirth mentioned near the end


  • Please log in to reply
5 replies to this topic

#1 EoinCuinn

Posted 14 February 2013 - 07:36 PM

Hey guys (and ladies that read here)

We had baby girl no#3 yesterday. That now makes a 4yr old, a 2yr old and a 1 day old. Not bad going. Pretty sure we'll stop there. Life is certainly only going to get more interesting from here!

Our first two were born in hospital. Our first was, after much consideration and a lot of information processing, a completely unnecessary Cesarean.

Our second was an attempted homebirth, that ended up in a transfer after a serious amount of meconium in the waters when they broke. That transfer also ended up in a cesarean, but unlike the first one, this one became a necessity. Again, there was a lot more information gathering, and a lot of steps discovered that could have prevented this one, but only if we started the those steps earlier in the whole process.

Now I'll be dead set honest here. I was indoctrinated in the whole "doctor is always right" syndrome leading up to the first one, and I left the hospital solid in my mind the obs / peads had it right.

Retrospective education and long thoughts soon dispelled that myth. There were so many things they got wrong leading up to, and during that process that were wrong it's not funny.

This time around we did everything the right way. My wife followed better eating protocols. We looked up, and tried great positioning techniques, she went to Bowen, Acupuncture, you name it.

When my wife went into labor, we told no one except our doula. When she got to our house, we then told no one but our midwives. The only person who had any idea was my MIL when she came and got our kids in the morning, about 4 hrs before she gave birth. 12 hrs of labour, and we had our gorgeous new addition in our house. I think I rang my mother about 4 hours later and told her.

I will tell you right now that watching my wife giving birth in our house, with our lovely midwives and doula with us,was exhilarating. Nothing will ever compare to it. Nothing.

The hospital system of doctor fueled intervention has robbed us, and so many other people like us, leaving empty experiences that can rarely be fully recovered from, where low risk pregnancies have cascaded into unnecessary steps to get that baby out.

I'm not after a debate/argument/opinions in reply to this. Everyone has different sides to this. I've met with and talked to people who have said I was endangering my unborn child, and I've had other people congratulate me on the wise choice we have made. At the end of the day I believe we had a greater chance of a healthier outcome by having our baby at home.

The most common argument here is "how would you feel if the worst happened? What if you baby died at home, and you could have saved her at the hospital?" We've had a stillbirth, a 20wk gestation premature rupture of the membranes. It sucked. It still sucked. But it means I have some measure of what it is like to bury a baby. It didn't put me off the homebirth. Statistically, our homebirth, after two prior cesareans, is STILL safer than giving birth in a hospital. The one statistic that gets put out there, the increased risk of uterine rupture, is so insignificant against the risks of a repeat c section it's not funny. Have a quick google for maternal death rates in hospital vs maternal death rates at midwife attended homebirths. We went into this process with clear knowledge that, should the worst outcome be the result, we had made informed choices, and would live with them.

One final note.

I've been out today. Not to visit my wife and new baby in a noisy hospital with some strange face checking on my wife every 30 mins. I took my kids to playgroup and preschool while my wife relaxed at home with our new daughter. They are currently asleep on the couch. Last night we all slept in our bed, in our comfortable house, with our other two girls nearby in their rooms. Bliss.

If your other half comes to you and suggests a homebirth, don't do what I did our first child. Go for it.



#2 RealityBites

Posted 14 February 2013 - 07:45 PM

Thank you for sharing this, just what I needed to read tonight.

Congratulations on the birth of your baby, and on a wonderful birth experience. My lovely birth is still my best memory, five years on  original.gif

ETA Sorry I didn't realise this was in the Dad's Zone section, but well done on being a supportive partner and enlightened male!

#3 tadpole-bean

Posted 14 February 2013 - 07:47 PM

Congratulations! I too realised the joy of homebirthing our 3rd child. Wonderful! I wanted to with my first two babes as well but alas due to gestational diabetes, my birthcenter midwives were not able to provide that care. The birthcenter is also a wonderful antenatal/delivery care.

I recall how content and rested I was, to be able to sleep with my baby in my own bed and best of all my husband and sons were not robbed of that special bonding either. Enjoy this special time.

#4 Mumsyto2

Posted 14 February 2013 - 08:16 PM

Congrats on the new addition !

QUOTE (EoinCuinn @ 14/02/2013, 07:36 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
The one statistic that gets put out there, the increased risk of uterine rupture, is so insignificant against the risks of a repeat c section it's not funny. Have a quick google for maternal death rates in hospital vs maternal death rates at midwife attended homebirths.

I am assuming that you have taken into account that maternal death rates in hospitals will ALWAYS be significantly higher than midwife attended home births due to the fact that high risk women attend hospitals rather than have homebirths. That skews the statistics somewhat and leaves you comparing apples with oranges so I'm not sure what your point is there.

The only way you can possibly compare maternal death rates (or anything outcome for that matter) in hospitals vs midwife attended home births properly is to compare the stats for midwife attended home births vs the stats for women in hospital who would be eligible for a home birth i.e. an equivalent subset with no complicating factors that would make them more predisposed to certain outcomes - then you are truly comparing apples with apples rather than apples with oranges if that makes sense. As far as I am aware no such stats currently exist to differentiate the outcomes of subsets of patients with predetermined risks in the hospital system as it would be a logistical nightmare to generate. Given this it really is very unfair to say that women with no predetermined risk factors have a chance of better or worse outcome in this regard in either the hospital system or the homebirth situation.

#5 EoinCuinn

Posted 14 February 2013 - 08:57 PM

QUOTE (Mumsyto2 @ 14/02/2013, 09:16 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Congrats on the new addition !

Given this it really is very unfair to say that women with no predetermined risk factors have a chance of better or worse outcome in this regard in either the hospital system or the homebirth situation.


I agree exactly what you are saying here, and further up with the comparison with apples and oranges, and I can see where you are going, and you are dead on correct.

I guess though what it could be fair to say (and this is the true point of contention from the medical side of things) is you are far more likely to have unnecessary intervention with the hospital situation, which in itself leads to poorer/ unsatisfactory outcomes for mother and child. However you are right, there never will be stats on that. More to that, there could possibly be no study done on the physiological differences between the two.

On the opposite extreme, what this situation leads to is people insisting on homebirths with NO support because they now have a distrust of the medical system, and there are some in that number who are a genuine high risk.

I have read great stories and sides from both sides of the coin, and everyone has legitimate arguments and views. There are close friends of mine who went for elective c sections, and are happy with their choice, and believe that they made the right one. I would never go to them and suggest they were nuts, and in return they have never told me I was nuts for choosing a homebirth, which I love them for. Each to their own, and at the end of the day, that's where it stops. Every mother should be able to have their babies where and how they want.

Thanks for your comments, I appreciate the constructive nature of them.

#6 deejie

Posted 14 February 2013 - 09:04 PM

Congratulations on the birth of your daughter  wub.gif

Our DS2 was born at home. DS1 was born in hospital (standard, run of the mill low risk pregnancy) and I only just managed to avoid a C/S by the skin of my teeth. Still ended up with forceps though which damaged a facial nerve in DS1's cheek sad.gif  I realised in hindsight how poorly managed and intervention ridden DS1's birth was.

I agree, there is nothing better than birthing in your home environment where you feel safe, you ARE safe and you are with people you know and trust.

Unlike you, my DH was (let's just say) not as supportive of homebirth to begin with. Having now seen it and being able to compare hospital versus home, he is a convert wink.gif

Enjoy this special time.

ETA-- whoops realised this was in Dad Chat!

Edited by deejie, 14 February 2013 - 09:05 PM.





1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

How I learnt to relax about routines

After many routine-led, tough years, we've realised that being parenting isn't about being perfect. It isn't about following a schedule to a T.

Should you have a third child or not?

I thought our family had been complete with our two boys. I had no idea how much I needed my daughter until she was here.

Helping a toddler embrace an adopted sibling

A single parent by choice, I am preparing to adopt a second baby from Morocco. And I face a special challenge.

When pregnancy messes with your self-esteem

Pregnancy doesn't make all women feel beautiful. It certainly doesn't raise every woman's self-esteem.

Join us in The BIG nappy change

Introducing the new Coles Little Explorer Nappies! You can confidently rely on Coles Little Explorer nappies at each stage of your child's growth, so take the Big Nappy Change and try new Coles Little Explorer nappies for yourself!

Robbie Williams live tweets wife's labour

And the award for most patient woman in labour goes to ... Robbie Williams' wife, Ayda Field.

Vaccine ignorance is deadly and contagious

In the absence of credible, strong political leadership, paranoia about disease can go viral.

Parenting differently based on birth order

All children have unique personalities, but keeping birth order in mind could help when parenting.

How to get rid of the mum guilt

Motherhood and guilt seem to go hand in hand, but there are ways to focus

Paid parental leave scheme grinds to a halt

The future of Prime Minister Tony Abbott's paid parental leave scheme appears to be up in the air, despite the fact it is due to begin in less than nine months.

The devastation of foetal alcohol spectrum disorders

No one's sure how many Australians are affected by foetal alcohol spectrum disorders, but the consequences for those who are can be devastating.

The pros and cons of finding out the sex of your unborn baby

It’s often one of the biggest choices parents make during the course of their pregnancy; to find out, or not to find out, the sex of their baby before it’s born.

Toddler's awesome dress up month

Two-year-old Willow and her photographer mum, Gina Lee, made October "Dress Up Willow Month". She posted photos of Willow's costumes on her Instagram account, and her creative takes on popular culture are simply adorable.

Childhood around the world

It can be easy to assume our ideas around childhood are universal, but they are particular to where we live, as these practices show.

Best picks for baby and toddler shoes

Here's a great selection of footwear from pre-walker to walker ensuring comfort and style for growing feet.

I lost my wife and daughters to Ebola - then it came for my son

Sunday, September 21, is a day I will never forget.

The 'yucky' illness that took over my life

I have a chronic illness nobody likes to discuss. It involves toilet talk, and probably caused my miscarriage. But it needs to be talked about.

Prenatal testing: the facts

Prenatal testing is done to check if a baby has certain medical conditions before birth. Here is some important information about what the tests are for and the risks involved.

5 things to do with your baby?s old clothes

Did you think your only option for your baby?s old clothes was to pack them away or give them to the Salvos? Think again.

Why it's possible to not realise you're pregnant until the baby arrives

After hearing about 'surprise babies' born to mums who didn't know they were pregnant, it's common to ask "how did she not realise?" But experts say it's entirely possible for it to happen.

'My miracle is finally here'

How has the world continued on its pace when mine has been altered so drastically?

Dairy can help older women fall pregnant: study

Ice cream may be the ultimate comfort food, but a study suggests it could also help older women to have children.

Megan Gale goes topless for 'sexiest people' cover

Six months after a heavily pregnant Megan Gale posed nude for Marie Claire, the glowing new mum has gone topless for the cover of another magazine.

A new perspective on life from living with two diseases

A mother shares her personal story about the difficulty of living with two conditions, one of which stops her from being able to see her daughter's face.

Warning about Children's Panadol dosage

The Therapeutic Goods Administration has issued a safety advisory warning parents about confusion when using the dosing syringe supplied with Children's Panadol.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Take 'The Coles Big Nappy Change' Challenge

You could become part of our Test Drive team and win one of 200 packs of Coles Little Explorer Nappies as part of our 5-day challenge.

Win 1 of 5 Canon Powershot D30 cameras

Capture life more easily with the Canon Powershot D30. Shockproof, waterproof and dustproof, you can take it almost anywhere and shoot beautiful images, time after time. Enter now!

16 parenting truths you won't find in the baby books

I am five years into this parenting gig and I’ve learnt that sleepless nights and changing dirty nappies are child’s play.

Best and worst potty party cakes

It's nice to celebrate a child making the shift from nappies to 'big kid' undies, but do we really need a semi-realistic used toilet cake to do it? Here are some of the best and worst cakes parents have used at 'potty parties' around the world.

7 tips for a financially festive Christmas

Plan ahead - and do it now - to ensure festive season expenses don't break the bank.

'Go the F*** to Sleep' author's new book for frustrated parents

A sequel is coming soon to the 2011 hit book 'Go the F*** to Sleep' - and this time, it's about mealtimes.

Great birthday party buys from Etsy

Handmade crafts to decorate and personalise your child's next birthday - from banners to cake decorations, we've got gorgeous party finds from Etsy.

Join us in The BIG nappy change

Introducing the new Coles Little Explorer Nappies! You can confidently rely on Coles Little Explorer nappies at each stage of your child's growth, so take the Big Nappy Change and try new Coles Little Explorer nappies for yourself!

Creative storage ideas for the kids' rooms

Creative and practical storage ideas for the kids' toys and books can also add some stylish decor to your home. Visit babyology.com.au for more stylish modern finds for hip kids & parents.

Weird trend

Couple has five babies in 14 months

Julie and David Grygla weren't sure they'd ever have kids - but their dreams have now well and truly come true.

To the mum in the doctor's waiting room

Maybe the mum I saw in that waiting room, seemingly disconnected from her baby, doesn’t have the support she needs.

10 space-saving nursery ideas

Starting a family doesn't always mean moving into a bigger house - not yet, anyway.

 

What's in a name?

Baby Names

Looking for a classic name, or an unusual name? Our Baby Name Finder is for you, search or browse to refine your shortlist.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.