Jump to content

Baby no#3 Homebirth Story (longish read!)
There is a previous stillbirth mentioned near the end


  • Please log in to reply
5 replies to this topic

#1 EoinCuinn

Posted 14 February 2013 - 07:36 PM

Hey guys (and ladies that read here)

We had baby girl no#3 yesterday. That now makes a 4yr old, a 2yr old and a 1 day old. Not bad going. Pretty sure we'll stop there. Life is certainly only going to get more interesting from here!

Our first two were born in hospital. Our first was, after much consideration and a lot of information processing, a completely unnecessary Cesarean.

Our second was an attempted homebirth, that ended up in a transfer after a serious amount of meconium in the waters when they broke. That transfer also ended up in a cesarean, but unlike the first one, this one became a necessity. Again, there was a lot more information gathering, and a lot of steps discovered that could have prevented this one, but only if we started the those steps earlier in the whole process.

Now I'll be dead set honest here. I was indoctrinated in the whole "doctor is always right" syndrome leading up to the first one, and I left the hospital solid in my mind the obs / peads had it right.

Retrospective education and long thoughts soon dispelled that myth. There were so many things they got wrong leading up to, and during that process that were wrong it's not funny.

This time around we did everything the right way. My wife followed better eating protocols. We looked up, and tried great positioning techniques, she went to Bowen, Acupuncture, you name it.

When my wife went into labor, we told no one except our doula. When she got to our house, we then told no one but our midwives. The only person who had any idea was my MIL when she came and got our kids in the morning, about 4 hrs before she gave birth. 12 hrs of labour, and we had our gorgeous new addition in our house. I think I rang my mother about 4 hours later and told her.

I will tell you right now that watching my wife giving birth in our house, with our lovely midwives and doula with us,was exhilarating. Nothing will ever compare to it. Nothing.

The hospital system of doctor fueled intervention has robbed us, and so many other people like us, leaving empty experiences that can rarely be fully recovered from, where low risk pregnancies have cascaded into unnecessary steps to get that baby out.

I'm not after a debate/argument/opinions in reply to this. Everyone has different sides to this. I've met with and talked to people who have said I was endangering my unborn child, and I've had other people congratulate me on the wise choice we have made. At the end of the day I believe we had a greater chance of a healthier outcome by having our baby at home.

The most common argument here is "how would you feel if the worst happened? What if you baby died at home, and you could have saved her at the hospital?" We've had a stillbirth, a 20wk gestation premature rupture of the membranes. It sucked. It still sucked. But it means I have some measure of what it is like to bury a baby. It didn't put me off the homebirth. Statistically, our homebirth, after two prior cesareans, is STILL safer than giving birth in a hospital. The one statistic that gets put out there, the increased risk of uterine rupture, is so insignificant against the risks of a repeat c section it's not funny. Have a quick google for maternal death rates in hospital vs maternal death rates at midwife attended homebirths. We went into this process with clear knowledge that, should the worst outcome be the result, we had made informed choices, and would live with them.

One final note.

I've been out today. Not to visit my wife and new baby in a noisy hospital with some strange face checking on my wife every 30 mins. I took my kids to playgroup and preschool while my wife relaxed at home with our new daughter. They are currently asleep on the couch. Last night we all slept in our bed, in our comfortable house, with our other two girls nearby in their rooms. Bliss.

If your other half comes to you and suggests a homebirth, don't do what I did our first child. Go for it.



#2 RealityBites

Posted 14 February 2013 - 07:45 PM

Thank you for sharing this, just what I needed to read tonight.

Congratulations on the birth of your baby, and on a wonderful birth experience. My lovely birth is still my best memory, five years on  original.gif

ETA Sorry I didn't realise this was in the Dad's Zone section, but well done on being a supportive partner and enlightened male!

#3 tadpole-bean

Posted 14 February 2013 - 07:47 PM

Congratulations! I too realised the joy of homebirthing our 3rd child. Wonderful! I wanted to with my first two babes as well but alas due to gestational diabetes, my birthcenter midwives were not able to provide that care. The birthcenter is also a wonderful antenatal/delivery care.

I recall how content and rested I was, to be able to sleep with my baby in my own bed and best of all my husband and sons were not robbed of that special bonding either. Enjoy this special time.

#4 Mumsyto2

Posted 14 February 2013 - 08:16 PM

Congrats on the new addition !

QUOTE (EoinCuinn @ 14/02/2013, 07:36 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
The one statistic that gets put out there, the increased risk of uterine rupture, is so insignificant against the risks of a repeat c section it's not funny. Have a quick google for maternal death rates in hospital vs maternal death rates at midwife attended homebirths.

I am assuming that you have taken into account that maternal death rates in hospitals will ALWAYS be significantly higher than midwife attended home births due to the fact that high risk women attend hospitals rather than have homebirths. That skews the statistics somewhat and leaves you comparing apples with oranges so I'm not sure what your point is there.

The only way you can possibly compare maternal death rates (or anything outcome for that matter) in hospitals vs midwife attended home births properly is to compare the stats for midwife attended home births vs the stats for women in hospital who would be eligible for a home birth i.e. an equivalent subset with no complicating factors that would make them more predisposed to certain outcomes - then you are truly comparing apples with apples rather than apples with oranges if that makes sense. As far as I am aware no such stats currently exist to differentiate the outcomes of subsets of patients with predetermined risks in the hospital system as it would be a logistical nightmare to generate. Given this it really is very unfair to say that women with no predetermined risk factors have a chance of better or worse outcome in this regard in either the hospital system or the homebirth situation.

#5 EoinCuinn

Posted 14 February 2013 - 08:57 PM

QUOTE (Mumsyto2 @ 14/02/2013, 09:16 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Congrats on the new addition !

Given this it really is very unfair to say that women with no predetermined risk factors have a chance of better or worse outcome in this regard in either the hospital system or the homebirth situation.


I agree exactly what you are saying here, and further up with the comparison with apples and oranges, and I can see where you are going, and you are dead on correct.

I guess though what it could be fair to say (and this is the true point of contention from the medical side of things) is you are far more likely to have unnecessary intervention with the hospital situation, which in itself leads to poorer/ unsatisfactory outcomes for mother and child. However you are right, there never will be stats on that. More to that, there could possibly be no study done on the physiological differences between the two.

On the opposite extreme, what this situation leads to is people insisting on homebirths with NO support because they now have a distrust of the medical system, and there are some in that number who are a genuine high risk.

I have read great stories and sides from both sides of the coin, and everyone has legitimate arguments and views. There are close friends of mine who went for elective c sections, and are happy with their choice, and believe that they made the right one. I would never go to them and suggest they were nuts, and in return they have never told me I was nuts for choosing a homebirth, which I love them for. Each to their own, and at the end of the day, that's where it stops. Every mother should be able to have their babies where and how they want.

Thanks for your comments, I appreciate the constructive nature of them.

#6 deejie

Posted 14 February 2013 - 09:04 PM

Congratulations on the birth of your daughter  wub.gif

Our DS2 was born at home. DS1 was born in hospital (standard, run of the mill low risk pregnancy) and I only just managed to avoid a C/S by the skin of my teeth. Still ended up with forceps though which damaged a facial nerve in DS1's cheek sad.gif  I realised in hindsight how poorly managed and intervention ridden DS1's birth was.

I agree, there is nothing better than birthing in your home environment where you feel safe, you ARE safe and you are with people you know and trust.

Unlike you, my DH was (let's just say) not as supportive of homebirth to begin with. Having now seen it and being able to compare hospital versus home, he is a convert wink.gif

Enjoy this special time.

ETA-- whoops realised this was in Dad Chat!

Edited by deejie, 14 February 2013 - 09:05 PM.





1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

WIN an exclusive performance from Sam Moran!

To celebrate the release of children?s musical series Play Along with Sam, out now on DVD, we?re giving one lucky parent the chance to have Sam perform at their child?s pre-school or day care!

Toddler freed after getting trapped in escalator

A shopping centre escalator needed to be pulled apart to free a toddler's trapped hand.

Why I'm kind of excited about my daughter's nits

Is it weird to say that I am secretly thrilled to find that my daughter Edie has nits?

Baby born at 10:11 on 12-13-14

Well, it's actually 13-12-14 to us over here. But still, Clare Elizabeth Keane's consecutive numerical birth time is pretty special.

On holding tightly and loving fiercely

We can't live in fear. This post is about Christmas and how at this time we should be celebrating life and grateful for what we have: our loved ones who we cherish fiercely.

Babies, relatives and coping with Christmas day

Everyone will love your baby but your baby may not be so happy to be passed around a lot of new people - nor may you want to feed with an audience.

Why I won't be posting pictures of my baby on Facebook

There are pros and cons to this policy.

The myths and truths of gender swaying

Here are a few popular methods hopeful parents-to-be use to try to get a baby of their preferred gender – and what an expert says about whether they really work.

10 easy DIY Christmas decoration ideas

It's officially time to get into the Christmas spirit. Why not branch out when you put up your tree this year and add a personal touch with a few DIY decorations? We've found the perfect easy-to-make ways to put more festive fever into your home.

The dangerous new trend of glucose challenge test refusal

A dangerous trend is seeing more mothers-to-be declining a relatively simple and painless test to check for gestational diabetes.

Office of Fair Trading reveals naughty toys ahead of Christmas

The Office of Fair Trading has pulled seven toys from shelves ahead of Christmas after they fail safety tests.

Video: Baby boy's trouble with twins

These twin girls will no doubt have fun fooling people in years to come, but nobody will be as confused as baby Landon.

Long-term reversible male contraceptive on its way

Men could soon have access to an injectable long-term contraceptive which works in a similar way to a vasectomy but promises to be easily reversed.

'I tried to kill my baby': one mum's story

After bathing and dressing her three-month-old son, Amanda had a rare moment alone with her baby.

Attack of the 'mummy brain'

I feel that almost every day, someone in my life - be they a friend, family member or complete stranger - feels the need to excuse my behaviour as I have other things on my mind.

Mum of baby who fell ill after drinking raw milk speaks out

A Melbourne mother has described how her son turned grey when he became seriously ill after drinking raw milk.

Australian divorce rate lowest since 1976

Modern newlyweds are now well into their 30s and marriage still offers something powerful a new book argues.

The aftermath of a traumatic birth experience

In Australia, 30 per cent of women find their birth experience traumatic, with 6 per cent going on to develop post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Young mum burns 'from inside-out'

A young mum is in intensive care after she took a friend's antibiotic and wound up with an ailment that is burning her body 'from the inside-out'.

The disagreement that can break a relationship

If he doesn't change his mind, all I can hope is that I will. It would be a waste to spend the rest of my marriage mourning a baby that never was.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Co-sleeping or no-sleeping? Mum videos worst nap ever

One mother's futile attempt to sleep in caught on camera in a hilarious - and very cute - video.

Why children misbehave during the festive season

While we all like to imagine the holiday season as being a fun, loving and bonding experience; often our reality is quiet different.

I was fat-shamed by my doctor

The fear of being weighed is the most significant factor in women cancelling medical appointments - and now weight-shaming has happened to me.

End of an era: no more childcare

As we reach the end of 2014, we're closing the book on many things for another year, most notably childcare. Our last child has attended childcare for the very last time.

WIN an exclusive performance from Sam Moran!

To celebrate the release of children?s musical series Play Along with Sam, out now on DVD, we?re giving one lucky parent the chance to have Sam perform at their child?s pre-school or day care!

The 7-year itch is more like the 10-year itch: study

Contrary to popular belief, making it past the seven-year mark doesn't mean your marriage will be smooth sailing from there on.

Should children be forced to sit on Santa's lap?

We teach kids it’s okay to say no if they don’t feel safe, so why do some parents force their children to climb in to Santa's lap?

Stop telling us that parenting gets harder

I’m sure that parenting will get harder. But life isn’t exactly smooth sailing for many of us right now, either.

Baby born weighing almost 14 pounds

Yes, the bouncing baby girl was born by caesarean section. And mum says no more kids.

The dummy debate

I'm the first to admit that when I used to see tiny babies with dummies in their mouths, I thought "Hmm, lazy parenting." And now I apologise.

'I thought I was an only child'

Imagine meeting your double at a school sports event, or regularly being mistaken for someone you haven't met. Separated twins Margaret and Joy tell their story.

Carers admit to force-feeding children

As Sydney grieves the loss of Sydney siege victims Katrina Dawson and Tori Johnson, reports have suggested that both died as heroes.

 

How many weeks til Christmas?

On your To-Do list

Get the "Santa" shopping done without the kids in tow.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.