Jump to content

Baby no#3 Homebirth Story (longish read!)
There is a previous stillbirth mentioned near the end


  • Please log in to reply
5 replies to this topic

#1 EoinCuinn

Posted 14 February 2013 - 07:36 PM

Hey guys (and ladies that read here)

We had baby girl no#3 yesterday. That now makes a 4yr old, a 2yr old and a 1 day old. Not bad going. Pretty sure we'll stop there. Life is certainly only going to get more interesting from here!

Our first two were born in hospital. Our first was, after much consideration and a lot of information processing, a completely unnecessary Cesarean.

Our second was an attempted homebirth, that ended up in a transfer after a serious amount of meconium in the waters when they broke. That transfer also ended up in a cesarean, but unlike the first one, this one became a necessity. Again, there was a lot more information gathering, and a lot of steps discovered that could have prevented this one, but only if we started the those steps earlier in the whole process.

Now I'll be dead set honest here. I was indoctrinated in the whole "doctor is always right" syndrome leading up to the first one, and I left the hospital solid in my mind the obs / peads had it right.

Retrospective education and long thoughts soon dispelled that myth. There were so many things they got wrong leading up to, and during that process that were wrong it's not funny.

This time around we did everything the right way. My wife followed better eating protocols. We looked up, and tried great positioning techniques, she went to Bowen, Acupuncture, you name it.

When my wife went into labor, we told no one except our doula. When she got to our house, we then told no one but our midwives. The only person who had any idea was my MIL when she came and got our kids in the morning, about 4 hrs before she gave birth. 12 hrs of labour, and we had our gorgeous new addition in our house. I think I rang my mother about 4 hours later and told her.

I will tell you right now that watching my wife giving birth in our house, with our lovely midwives and doula with us,was exhilarating. Nothing will ever compare to it. Nothing.

The hospital system of doctor fueled intervention has robbed us, and so many other people like us, leaving empty experiences that can rarely be fully recovered from, where low risk pregnancies have cascaded into unnecessary steps to get that baby out.

I'm not after a debate/argument/opinions in reply to this. Everyone has different sides to this. I've met with and talked to people who have said I was endangering my unborn child, and I've had other people congratulate me on the wise choice we have made. At the end of the day I believe we had a greater chance of a healthier outcome by having our baby at home.

The most common argument here is "how would you feel if the worst happened? What if you baby died at home, and you could have saved her at the hospital?" We've had a stillbirth, a 20wk gestation premature rupture of the membranes. It sucked. It still sucked. But it means I have some measure of what it is like to bury a baby. It didn't put me off the homebirth. Statistically, our homebirth, after two prior cesareans, is STILL safer than giving birth in a hospital. The one statistic that gets put out there, the increased risk of uterine rupture, is so insignificant against the risks of a repeat c section it's not funny. Have a quick google for maternal death rates in hospital vs maternal death rates at midwife attended homebirths. We went into this process with clear knowledge that, should the worst outcome be the result, we had made informed choices, and would live with them.

One final note.

I've been out today. Not to visit my wife and new baby in a noisy hospital with some strange face checking on my wife every 30 mins. I took my kids to playgroup and preschool while my wife relaxed at home with our new daughter. They are currently asleep on the couch. Last night we all slept in our bed, in our comfortable house, with our other two girls nearby in their rooms. Bliss.

If your other half comes to you and suggests a homebirth, don't do what I did our first child. Go for it.



#2 RealityBites

Posted 14 February 2013 - 07:45 PM

Thank you for sharing this, just what I needed to read tonight.

Congratulations on the birth of your baby, and on a wonderful birth experience. My lovely birth is still my best memory, five years on  original.gif

ETA Sorry I didn't realise this was in the Dad's Zone section, but well done on being a supportive partner and enlightened male!

#3 tadpole-bean

Posted 14 February 2013 - 07:47 PM

Congratulations! I too realised the joy of homebirthing our 3rd child. Wonderful! I wanted to with my first two babes as well but alas due to gestational diabetes, my birthcenter midwives were not able to provide that care. The birthcenter is also a wonderful antenatal/delivery care.

I recall how content and rested I was, to be able to sleep with my baby in my own bed and best of all my husband and sons were not robbed of that special bonding either. Enjoy this special time.

#4 Mumsyto2

Posted 14 February 2013 - 08:16 PM

Congrats on the new addition !

QUOTE (EoinCuinn @ 14/02/2013, 07:36 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
The one statistic that gets put out there, the increased risk of uterine rupture, is so insignificant against the risks of a repeat c section it's not funny. Have a quick google for maternal death rates in hospital vs maternal death rates at midwife attended homebirths.

I am assuming that you have taken into account that maternal death rates in hospitals will ALWAYS be significantly higher than midwife attended home births due to the fact that high risk women attend hospitals rather than have homebirths. That skews the statistics somewhat and leaves you comparing apples with oranges so I'm not sure what your point is there.

The only way you can possibly compare maternal death rates (or anything outcome for that matter) in hospitals vs midwife attended home births properly is to compare the stats for midwife attended home births vs the stats for women in hospital who would be eligible for a home birth i.e. an equivalent subset with no complicating factors that would make them more predisposed to certain outcomes - then you are truly comparing apples with apples rather than apples with oranges if that makes sense. As far as I am aware no such stats currently exist to differentiate the outcomes of subsets of patients with predetermined risks in the hospital system as it would be a logistical nightmare to generate. Given this it really is very unfair to say that women with no predetermined risk factors have a chance of better or worse outcome in this regard in either the hospital system or the homebirth situation.

#5 EoinCuinn

Posted 14 February 2013 - 08:57 PM

QUOTE (Mumsyto2 @ 14/02/2013, 09:16 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Congrats on the new addition !

Given this it really is very unfair to say that women with no predetermined risk factors have a chance of better or worse outcome in this regard in either the hospital system or the homebirth situation.


I agree exactly what you are saying here, and further up with the comparison with apples and oranges, and I can see where you are going, and you are dead on correct.

I guess though what it could be fair to say (and this is the true point of contention from the medical side of things) is you are far more likely to have unnecessary intervention with the hospital situation, which in itself leads to poorer/ unsatisfactory outcomes for mother and child. However you are right, there never will be stats on that. More to that, there could possibly be no study done on the physiological differences between the two.

On the opposite extreme, what this situation leads to is people insisting on homebirths with NO support because they now have a distrust of the medical system, and there are some in that number who are a genuine high risk.

I have read great stories and sides from both sides of the coin, and everyone has legitimate arguments and views. There are close friends of mine who went for elective c sections, and are happy with their choice, and believe that they made the right one. I would never go to them and suggest they were nuts, and in return they have never told me I was nuts for choosing a homebirth, which I love them for. Each to their own, and at the end of the day, that's where it stops. Every mother should be able to have their babies where and how they want.

Thanks for your comments, I appreciate the constructive nature of them.

#6 deejie

Posted 14 February 2013 - 09:04 PM

Congratulations on the birth of your daughter  wub.gif

Our DS2 was born at home. DS1 was born in hospital (standard, run of the mill low risk pregnancy) and I only just managed to avoid a C/S by the skin of my teeth. Still ended up with forceps though which damaged a facial nerve in DS1's cheek sad.gif  I realised in hindsight how poorly managed and intervention ridden DS1's birth was.

I agree, there is nothing better than birthing in your home environment where you feel safe, you ARE safe and you are with people you know and trust.

Unlike you, my DH was (let's just say) not as supportive of homebirth to begin with. Having now seen it and being able to compare hospital versus home, he is a convert wink.gif

Enjoy this special time.

ETA-- whoops realised this was in Dad Chat!

Edited by deejie, 14 February 2013 - 09:05 PM.





0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

'My mum doesn't seem that interested in my baby'

Q: My mother and I have always been close, but now that I have a baby, she has not helped out as much as I thought she would.

This mum has donated over 2,000 litres of breast milk

The mother-of-two was diagnosed with hyper-lactation.

New guidelines: "Bottle-feeding mums need support too"

Breast is best, but mums who can't, or choose not to breastfeed need support too.

Call to teach kids about breastfeeding at school

The aim is to increase breastfeeding rates and reduce stigma.

Dads also struggle to 'have it all', study finds

Men and women both experience work-family conflict.

'Working for nothing': Childcare crisis pushes Sydney parents to the brink

Most parents are experiencing substantial difficulties with the financial burden and lack of availability of childcare, as costs have more than doubled for some families in just over a decade.

Language development may start in the womb

Study found babies can recognise foreign languages before birth.

Paying $2.50 for a babycino? This is why...

Aren't babycinos just a bit of froth? Not so, it seems...

I'm a stay-at-home mum who's an awful housewife

"Hey, come here a second," my mum said as she replaced the book in my hands with a wooden spoon covered in what I prayed was red sauce. Together, we walked into the kitchen and hovered over the skillet like we were peering into a crystal ball. Looking into my future, I saw me eating a lot of take away.

 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Articles

Advertisement
 
 
 

From our network

Five things you need to know about flu and pregnancy

As the 2017 flu season begins in earnest, here?s what you need to know to protect yourself and baby.

Mum tips to keep your pre-baby budget in check

Money might be funny in a rich man's world (or so ABBA told us), but for the rest of us it's a major consideration – particularly before having a baby.

5 easy ways to make your maternity leave last longer

Maternity leave is a special time for you, your partner and your new little bundle. The last thing you want is for financial worries to stand in the way of that joy.

10 ways to keep your 'buying for baby' costs down

Becoming a parent is full of surprises – not least of all finding out that, for such small beings, babies cause a lot of chaos and expense.

5 ways to prepare to go from two incomes to one

Here are some ideas for getting that budget in shape, ready for being a one income family.

 

Baby Names

Need some ideas?

See what names are trending this year.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.