Jump to content

Things I wish I never knew.....
**warning - do not read whilst eating


  • Please log in to reply
48 replies to this topic

#1 PLARK

Posted 13 February 2013 - 09:50 PM

Right now, the thing I wish I never knew was the TRUE meaning of 'poo-exlosion'

Oh, sure, there were times that my LO's had overflowing nappies but TODAY, oh TODAY my experience with said poo-explosion took it to a whole new level

DD 22 months has been off-colour for a few days, off her food, slight fever.  Then last night she started vomiting and vomited 9 times between 1am and 7am - I know, because I stayed up all night freaking out that she might choke.

At this stage there was no sign of poos.  THEN she started passing wind and OMG!   sick.gif This little fella doesn't even get close to capturing the vileness of it.  This was my first clue that we were in for 'something extraordinary'.

So on the way back from dr's I had DH stop at the supermarket to get some fresh veggies and chicken to make a nice soup for the girls (other DD looks to be coming down with the same *sigh*).  I get back to the car and open the door to be met by a WAVE of putrid smelling air and my DH gingerly holding DD whilst looking panicked.  The look of relief on his face was priceless as he handed her over to me (he doesn't do #2 nappies - I usually prefer to do them so I can make sure to clean her properly... this may change after today!)  Seeing as home was just around the corner I chose to hold her and change her at home.  As soon as we parked the car I bolted upstairs and straight to the bathroom as I knew baby wipes would NOT get rid of the stench.  Proceed to clean her up and bathe her.  Meantime, DH brings up other DD (fully tt'd 3yo) and takes off to go to the chemist for bub's medications.  No problem.  Then older DD informs me that she needs to go toilet.  Again, no prob.  Tell her to get her pants off and get to the bathroom; in the meantime I wrap bubs in a towel and pop her on my bed.  AS I AM IN THE MIDDLE OF DOING THIS older DD WHO DIDN'T GO STRAIGHT TO THE BATHROOM AS INSTRUCTED pees all over my bedroom floor, splashing urine all over my furniture!!  Ahhhgghh!!!  OK, still calm at this point - tell DD not to worry, it's an accident blah blah blah and I will give her a quick wash.  Run to laundry to get dirty towel to sop up pee so I can then mop and clean up.  AS I AM COMING INTO THE ROOM A STENCH HITS ME!  You guessed it - bub's has let rip ALL OVER MY BED  cry1.gif cry1.gif cry1.gif   At this point I start freaking out *just* a little..... OK, I'm still keeping it together, yell at DD to get in the bath, I'll be there in a minute, start cleaning up bub's who is looking mildly baffled as to what the hell is going on with her butt.  Clean off poo from bub's butt, plonk her in bath with DD. Run out to finish cleaning poo,that is the consistency of dahl, off bed (THANK goodness for mattress protectors!!) Finish stripping bed, start the floor cleaning when I hear *oh yuck!* from DD.  My heart sinks as I bolt back to the bathroom (ensuite) to find bub's has pooed in the bath sad.gif To make matters worse it is a baby bath the girls share with a leak in it (which I like as it gives them a time limit) but this leak means I now have watery poo all over my bathroom floor  cry1.gif cry1.gif cry1.gif   THIS is when I finally freak out, try to call DH to get back home to help me asap whilst trying to wash down both girls with dettol soap.  Both are getting freaked out because I am freaked out because I am so darned grossed-out, so add to the dramas a massive parenting fail!  And OMG!!! The sheer VOLUME of said poos - where the heck did they come from???!!!!! She's barely eaten for the last 2-3 days and she vomited EVERYTHING out last night and she's a regular pooper... I just don't get it.  Totally and utterly gross!!!  And I STILL had to get the soup going so they could have something nutritious and tummy friendly to eat for lunch.  So there I am, sterilising every surface of my bedroom, bathroom AND my body because I feel like I've been elbow-deep in poo!  Grossy-gross grossness  sick.gif sick.gif  And DH thought it was FUNNY when he finally got back and I related my horror story to him  rant.gif And now I feel like I have the same thing coming on.  And I have a MOUNTAIN of sheets and towels to wash and the machine is taking FOREVER for one load

Having said that, my poor little DD#3 - she's only 22 months old and cute as a button, such a happy and comedic little cherub.  To see her in distress because she can't contain her pooping is so sad - not screaming or crying but actually saying 'oh no' with a distressed little face as more poo comes running out of the nappy down her leg sad.gif 6 nappy changes in 1 hour is NOT FUN!

So, yeah, I really, REALLY wish I never knew that 'poo-explosion' meant exactly that!

ETA: warning - sorry Madam Protart  blush.gif

Edited by PLARK, 13 February 2013 - 10:03 PM.


#2 raone

Posted 13 February 2013 - 09:56 PM

Im so sorry but i had to laugh just a little. If it keeps happening could you put them in the shower and watch them. At least it wont go all over your floor or have to stick your hand in a pooey bath.

#3 PLARK

Posted 13 February 2013 - 09:59 PM

QUOTE (raone @ 13/02/2013, 05:26 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Im so sorry but i had to laugh just a little. If it keeps happening could you put them in the shower and watch them. At least it wont go all over your floor or have to stick your hand in a pooey bath.


raone-  I agree I will laugh at it, sooner rather than later too  happy.gif but seriously, I REALLY have never seen so much poo produced in such a short amount of time and from such a little person - she's only 10 or 11kg (I think she's about 1/2 that now as I'm sure the rest was pooed out!)

#4 YankDownUnder

Posted 13 February 2013 - 09:59 PM

What a mouthful of regurgitated breast milk tastes like.

#5 item

Posted 13 February 2013 - 10:00 PM

My DH has taught our son to say "Ooh the poo-manity!" In situations such as this.


#6 PLARK

Posted 13 February 2013 - 10:05 PM

QUOTE (YankDownUnder @ 13/02/2013, 05:29 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
What a mouthful of regurgitated breast milk tastes like.


sorry, I must be missing something so I have to ask....... *huh?*  huh.gif



#7 NotBitzerMaloney

Posted 13 February 2013 - 10:10 PM

As per the OP, it's mostly scatological...
- what a poo-nami looks like when the baby is in a car seat
- how to clean shoes that DS vomited INTO
- that poo can makes its way INSIDE a baby girl's vagina
- how much poo can hide in the folds in a baby boy's scrotum


#8 Soontobegran

Posted 13 February 2013 - 10:13 PM

QUOTE (PLARK @ 13/02/2013, 11:05 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
sorry, I must be missing something so I have to ask....... *huh?*  huh.gif



I think she is telling you something she wished she never knew about? original.gif

#9 heart-beat

Posted 13 February 2013 - 10:13 PM

Methinks YDU didn't read the post, just the header..

OP, I'm sorry your house is a poo wonderland but your story did make me chuckle.

Edited by MadreLoca, 13 February 2013 - 10:15 PM.


#10 pitzinoodles

Posted 13 February 2013 - 10:16 PM

Oh gross!, you poor thing!

I am a little concerned- have you got your flame suit on?

Unless  I'm reading it wrong you have crossed some unwritten  EB codes of conduct:

You drove in car wiith child not in car seat
You left a child under supervision of another child in a bath
You left a child unattended on the bed

The question is does a poo-plosion justify such reckless behaviour? wink.gif

#11 PLARK

Posted 13 February 2013 - 10:17 PM

QUOTE (soontobegran @ 13/02/2013, 05:43 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I think she is telling you something she wished she never knew about? original.gif


oh thanks, STBG - clearly the lack of sleep is affecting me - I forgot I asked others to add theirs!!

YDU - sorry to have a 'brain-fart' moment - I don't blame you for wishing you didn't know that, it sounds pretty gross.. care to add how you *discovered* that?  biggrin.gif

NBMaloney: there has to be an interesting story or two to those gems -do share original.gif I love these *real-life* experiences biggrin.gif

#12 howdoyoudoit

Posted 13 February 2013 - 10:21 PM

Yep..been there done that..infact ds#1 was 10months old and got gastro..his white grosuit ended up brown from feet to neck...was the worst thing ever. What I am concerned about is you holding the child in the car unrestrained and leaving them in the bath without supervision..thank god they were ok and I hope they get better soon...

#13 PLARK

Posted 13 February 2013 - 10:29 PM

QUOTE (pitzinoodles @ 13/02/2013, 05:46 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Oh gross!, you poor thing!

I am a little concerned- have you got your flame suit on?

Unless  I'm reading it wrong you have crossed some unwritten  EB codes of conduct:

You drove in car wiith child not in car seat
You left a child under supervision of another child in a bath
You left a child unattended on the bed

The question is does a poo-plosion justify such reckless behaviour? wink.gif


that's ok - I love a derailed thread

but, in answer to your very valid points.....

car seat not in use as poo was everywhere, also we live in India so the laws re car seats are not the same as in Aus (there's no laws actually, they've only recently introduced seat belt laws  huh.gif ) BUT I promise it really was just around the corner

No child was unattended, I promise, as I have a big hulking 16yo son who was there - he was the one who stayed with bubs and then both girls while in the bath (ensuite with door open - I never leave them alone in ANY room - have you SEEN what damage 2 toddlers can do in a room??!) I didn't ask DS to actually help with the cleanup as he's the type to make an even bigger mess!!

ETA we DO have car seats for the girls - Aussie ones as the ones manufactured here are not nearly up to our safety standards - and I am anal about using them which frustrates a lot of people here but I don't care, they are MY babies and I'll do whatever I have to to keep them safe.  However, YOU try putting baby with poo everywhere back in pooey car seat (and I still have to clean THAT as well  cry1.gif )

Edited by PLARK, 13 February 2013 - 10:32 PM.


#14 LovenFire

Posted 13 February 2013 - 10:35 PM

Oh dear... How are the babies now?

#15 Feral Grey Mare

Posted 13 February 2013 - 10:39 PM

Did any of us, before we had children, imagine we would ever be discussing this topic?

#16 NotBitzerMaloney

Posted 13 February 2013 - 10:46 PM

QUOTE (Old Grey Mare @ 13/02/2013, 11:39 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Did any of us, before we had children, imagine we would ever be discussing this topic?


No. Not in 100 lifetimes.

The glamour of parenthood!

#17 ms flib

Posted 13 February 2013 - 10:46 PM

'poo-nami'

#18 Minxybug

Posted 13 February 2013 - 11:07 PM

Oh dear. I also had to laugh at this as I have been there before and took the option of showering DS. Lucky for me though it happened at home so didn't have the car seat situation.

I know all to well that feeling when you walk into a room and smell that sick.gif smell knowing what you will find and what now needs to be done.

Hope they are feeling better soon and you don't have to deal with to much more bodily secretions.

#19 Feralishous

Posted 13 February 2013 - 11:17 PM

QUOTE (Old Grey Mare @ 13/02/2013, 08:39 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Did any of us, before we had children, imagine we would ever be discussing this topic?

laugh.gif
I certainly wouldnt have!

#20 happygurl06

Posted 14 February 2013 - 11:37 AM

I thought I had experienced poosplosion until it really happened to DD at age 5!  She knew it was about to happen, I pulled over picked up an enviro bag that happened to be laying around in the car and whipped her out of the car seat, pants down, crouching on the normal back seat, bag in position and there she blows!  The force was amazing it almost sh*t the bag out of my hand, all splastered upwards,  the smell unexplainable.

Suffice to say, enviro bags are NOT waterproof!

I sold the car not long after.



#21 YankDownUnder

Posted 14 February 2013 - 02:13 PM

QUOTE (PLARK @ 13/02/2013, 11:17 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
oh thanks, STBG - clearly the lack of sleep is affecting me - I forgot I asked others to add theirs!!

YDU - sorry to have a 'brain-fart' moment - I don't blame you for wishing you didn't know that, it sounds pretty gross.. care to add how you *discovered* that?  biggrin.gif

Aw, jeez.  Yeah, lack of sleep is clearly affecting me, too.  blush.gif  8-month-old twins will do that to you.  I'll read more carefully next time.

As for how I know, well, I've had four puke-y breastfed kids.  It was bound to happen sooner or later and one of the twinnies was happy to provide.


#22 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 14 February 2013 - 02:37 PM

QUOTE (happygurl06 @ 14/02/2013, 11:37 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I thought I had experienced poosplosion until it really happened to DD at age 5!  She knew it was about to happen, I pulled over picked up an enviro bag that happened to be laying around in the car and whipped her out of the car seat, pants down, crouching on the normal back seat, bag in position and there she blows!  The force was amazing it almost sh*t the bag out of my hand, all splastered upwards,  the smell unexplainable.

Suffice to say, enviro bags are NOT waterproof!


I sold the car not long after.

BAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  roll2.gif

#23 Leggy

Posted 14 February 2013 - 02:50 PM

Oh man, I'd forgotten the horror of the poo-nami. It's been a while.

OP, you poor thing, it sounds like one of those comedies where one thing goes wrong after another!

I wish I didn't know what a child with a really bad smallpox case looks like. We used to have this kind of competition with our infectious disease lecturers where we would try to be as nonchalant as possible, while they would try to get a reaction out of us. They definitely won that round, mostly by flicking this horrific picture up on screen without much warning.

#24 Rans.

Posted 14 February 2013 - 02:51 PM

QUOTE (happygurl06 @ 14/02/2013, 12:37 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I thought I had experienced poosplosion until it really happened to DD at age 5!  She knew it was about to happen, I pulled over picked up an enviro bag that happened to be laying around in the car and whipped her out of the car seat, pants down, crouching on the normal back seat, bag in position and there she blows!  The force was amazing it almost sh*t the bag out of my hand, all splastered upwards,  the smell unexplainable.

Suffice to say, enviro bags are NOT waterproof!

I sold the car not long after.


That is the FUNNIEST thing I have read in a really long time...  biggrin.gif

On the whole 'car seat' thing, I once had to get my dad to come and get DS2 (18 months at the time)from Kindy so that I could drive home in our spew covered car.... As I pulled in to Kindy he started throwing up and just didn't stop. the sheer volume of it was astounding! There is no way I could have driven the poor kid home sitting in that seat

#25 boatiebabe

Posted 14 February 2013 - 03:01 PM

Sorry I know this is bad for you but has given me such a laugh today.

I've had a couple of shockers in my time (thankfully the kids are older now and can puke in a bucket and make the toilet ) but I remember a few years back coming home from Sydney with my two in the back (probably DS was 2 and DD was 4 at the time). DD said she wasn't feeling so good and I had stopped the car on the way home a couple of times to let her out (it was about a 45 minute drive).

We had come down a fairly windy road and were a few minutes from home when I turned to look at DS who made a strange noise. Cue projectile vomit from his nose and then mouth all over himself, the seat, the interior and poor MIL in the front seat.

DD took one look at what had happened and she also projectile vomited everywhere including over me in the driver's seat.

I stopped but as I had no where near enough supplies to deal with the disaster I had to drive the five minutes home with them both in HYSTERICS and the most god awful smell in the world.

Thankfully MIL was with us. She got the bath going while I stripped them naked on the front lawn and then got them up to her.

Took a while to settle them...then Oh the car!

I spent the most part of the next three hours cleaning it out and then another couple dismantling every part of their car seats to be able to get all the vomit out.

I can't imagine how bad it would have been had I been on my own and far from home.






1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Special Ticket Offer, Save $8!

The Essential Baby & Toddler Show is back this April! Save $8 off the door price for a limited time only!

Finding baby name inspiration in unusual places

Sometimes the greatest baby name ideas come from the most unexpected places, as these EB members show.

The case for inducing at 37 weeks

While we often think of pregnancy as a 40 week affair, experts agree that 37 weeks is actually “full term". So is there an argument for inducing all births at 37 weeks?

Does controlled crying really work?

Controlled-crying techniques may help some babies sleep through the night, but for many exhausted new parents, it's just a recipe for more tears all round.

How I taught my infant to use a toilet

As people become more aware of these benefits, I hope more parents will practice this method, so we can cut down on nappies and improve baby bonding.

'I thought it was impossible': Emily Symons pregnant at 45

Aussie actress Emily Symons has announced she is pregnant with her first baby.

Shallow water blackout kills fit, healthy dad

A little girl will grow up without her father after the fit and healthy 34-year-old passed away while doing something he had practised his whole life.

Afternoon naps may be bad for toddlers' sleep

You could be doing yourself a disservice by encouraging your toddler to have an afternoon nap, according to new research.

Best gifts for newborns, new mums and christenings

We've compiled a guide to some of the most popular presents for newborns and new mums, and for christenings and naming days.

Jaime King to be a mum again

Actress Jaime King is pregnant with her second child, giving 16-month-old James a sibling.

Nannies should receive government funding

The Abbott government should extend funding to nannies, and direct childcare payments to low and middle income families, a landmark study on childcare has found. 

Common skin irritations in newborns (and how to treat them)

As many as one in two newborn babies suffer from skin irritations in their first few weeks. So what are the most common rashes and irritations to look out for?

10 wall decals for the nursery or playroom

Wall decals are the answer to creating a beautiful nursery or children's space without lifting a paint brush, a spirit level or even a hammer.

Preschooler walks 2.4km home alone

Three-year-old Cain Trainor headed off home after his first day at a new preschool without telling anyone.

Video: Why mums get nothing done

In spite of being in an almost constant state of motion while looking after the kids and trying to keep things together at home, it can seem as though parents have managed to get nothing on the to-do list done by the end of the day.

The middle name game

The middle name is no longer an afterthought, and parents' inspiration comes from many places.

Have a baby or your money back - but there's a catch

A new IVF scheme offers couples the chance to fall pregnant and give birth - or get their money back. But there's more to it than you might think.

A rare glimpse inside the womb

A baby born still inside the amniotic sac gave US doctors a rare glimpse at life inside the womb.

Battered mum forced to write to her attacker ex in jail

Three years ago Jason Hughes viciously attacked his ex-partner. Now she has to write to him three times a year.

Woman pleads not guilty to ultrasound scam

A West Australian woman will fight allegations that she scammed expectant mums by selling them fake ultrasound pictures of babies.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Brain damaged mum receives compensation

A Sydney mother who suffered brain damage when she was hit by a car while pushing her newborn baby in a pram has reached a confidential out-of-court settlement with the driver's insurance company.

Indigenous midwives break down the barriers

A culturally sensitive midwifery service has gained the trust and respect of Aboriginal women.

The Katering Show's next big delivery

Most mums-to-be plan to take things easy and perhaps have a little break from work as the birth of their baby draws near. Not Kate McCartney.

53 creative pregnancy announcements

Announcing that you're expecting can be a time to express your creativity, sense of humour and imagination. Check out how other parents and parents-to-be have broken the news to friends and family.

Why I have mixed feelings about Cindy Crawford's leaked photo

Last week an un-retouched photo of model Cindy Crawford surfaced, showing the 48-year-old mother-of -two posing in underwear.

How to create a Peppa Pig pancake

Thought your toddler could not love pancakes any more than they already do? How about if the breakfast treat came in the shape of every two-year-old's favourite cartoon character?

'It's a little life, not a little loss': pregnancy after miscarriage

I thought I was never going to be able to have a successful pregnancy. I decided that I wasn't going to form an emotional attachment with this baby.

Bonds Baby Search 2015: what you need to know

February 18 marks the start of one of the most prolific annual baby competitions in Australia: the Bonds Baby Search. And this year is going to be more special than ever.

Who will manage your Facebook account when you're gone?

This is not something that people like to talk about, but Facebook has announced that it will grant users more control over what happens to their pages after they die.

Struggling mum of four wins $188 million

Mother of four Marie Holmes was financially struggling after quitting her jobs at Walmart and McDonald's in order to care for her children.

Pregnant obese women a 'relatively new problem', coroner hears

A first-time mother whose daughter died hours after her frightening birth insists she was never told of the risks of being obese and pregnant.

'I'm angry as hell': the story behind mum's passionate vaccination plea

She has labelled parents who do not vaccinate their children "misinformed imbeciles" - and for that, she makes no apologies.

IKEA hacks for the nursery and kids' rooms

Are you one of those that know the whole IKEA catalogue by heart? Love their stuff but want to personalise it? Here's some inspiration to help you realise the potential of IKEA furniture and fittings.

8 different kinds of tantrums

I never thought I’d say this, but for a brief moment last week, Kim Kardashian and I had something in common: both our kids had public tantrums.

Polycystic ovary syndrome: symptoms, treatment and your fertility

Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) is the most common female hormonal condition, affecting roughly one in 12 Australian women.

What's the best position for giving birth?

If doing it on your back is out, what's the best position for labour and birth?

Wife forgives snake catcher husband for car surprise

With Valentine's Day coming up, Nat Gilbert could be forgiven for thinking her husband might be planning a surprise for her.

Kids who meet milestones at their own pace

We usually only hear the success stories: tales of the two-year-old who’s talking, running and completely toilet trained. But other stories need to be told too.

Ruby shines as Bonds Baby

Sarah Kiss has a word of advice for proud mums and dads who are keen to enter their babies in this year's Bonds Baby Search Competition - just have fun.

Why dads should go to sleep school

If your family needs to go to sleep school, go with them. You are part of that family and you are part of the solution.

36 baby names inspired by food and drinks

A French court may have ruled out Nutella as a baby name, but that doesn't have to stop you from taking inspiration from the supermarket (or bottle shop). See what parents in the US have chosen for their delicious little ones.

Clever breastfeeding products

Check out this range of products designed to help make your breastfeeding journey more enjoyable, manageable and convenient.

 

Win a KitchenAid Mixer

Let's celebrate 300,000 fans on Facebook

To celebrate, and to thank our amazing fans, we?re giving away a KitchenAid Artisan Tilt-Head Stand Mixer.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.