Jump to content

Things I wish I never knew.....
**warning - do not read whilst eating


  • Please log in to reply
48 replies to this topic

#1 PLARK

Posted 13 February 2013 - 09:50 PM

Right now, the thing I wish I never knew was the TRUE meaning of 'poo-exlosion'

Oh, sure, there were times that my LO's had overflowing nappies but TODAY, oh TODAY my experience with said poo-explosion took it to a whole new level

DD 22 months has been off-colour for a few days, off her food, slight fever.  Then last night she started vomiting and vomited 9 times between 1am and 7am - I know, because I stayed up all night freaking out that she might choke.

At this stage there was no sign of poos.  THEN she started passing wind and OMG!   sick.gif This little fella doesn't even get close to capturing the vileness of it.  This was my first clue that we were in for 'something extraordinary'.

So on the way back from dr's I had DH stop at the supermarket to get some fresh veggies and chicken to make a nice soup for the girls (other DD looks to be coming down with the same *sigh*).  I get back to the car and open the door to be met by a WAVE of putrid smelling air and my DH gingerly holding DD whilst looking panicked.  The look of relief on his face was priceless as he handed her over to me (he doesn't do #2 nappies - I usually prefer to do them so I can make sure to clean her properly... this may change after today!)  Seeing as home was just around the corner I chose to hold her and change her at home.  As soon as we parked the car I bolted upstairs and straight to the bathroom as I knew baby wipes would NOT get rid of the stench.  Proceed to clean her up and bathe her.  Meantime, DH brings up other DD (fully tt'd 3yo) and takes off to go to the chemist for bub's medications.  No problem.  Then older DD informs me that she needs to go toilet.  Again, no prob.  Tell her to get her pants off and get to the bathroom; in the meantime I wrap bubs in a towel and pop her on my bed.  AS I AM IN THE MIDDLE OF DOING THIS older DD WHO DIDN'T GO STRAIGHT TO THE BATHROOM AS INSTRUCTED pees all over my bedroom floor, splashing urine all over my furniture!!  Ahhhgghh!!!  OK, still calm at this point - tell DD not to worry, it's an accident blah blah blah and I will give her a quick wash.  Run to laundry to get dirty towel to sop up pee so I can then mop and clean up.  AS I AM COMING INTO THE ROOM A STENCH HITS ME!  You guessed it - bub's has let rip ALL OVER MY BED  cry1.gif cry1.gif cry1.gif   At this point I start freaking out *just* a little..... OK, I'm still keeping it together, yell at DD to get in the bath, I'll be there in a minute, start cleaning up bub's who is looking mildly baffled as to what the hell is going on with her butt.  Clean off poo from bub's butt, plonk her in bath with DD. Run out to finish cleaning poo,that is the consistency of dahl, off bed (THANK goodness for mattress protectors!!) Finish stripping bed, start the floor cleaning when I hear *oh yuck!* from DD.  My heart sinks as I bolt back to the bathroom (ensuite) to find bub's has pooed in the bath sad.gif To make matters worse it is a baby bath the girls share with a leak in it (which I like as it gives them a time limit) but this leak means I now have watery poo all over my bathroom floor  cry1.gif cry1.gif cry1.gif   THIS is when I finally freak out, try to call DH to get back home to help me asap whilst trying to wash down both girls with dettol soap.  Both are getting freaked out because I am freaked out because I am so darned grossed-out, so add to the dramas a massive parenting fail!  And OMG!!! The sheer VOLUME of said poos - where the heck did they come from???!!!!! She's barely eaten for the last 2-3 days and she vomited EVERYTHING out last night and she's a regular pooper... I just don't get it.  Totally and utterly gross!!!  And I STILL had to get the soup going so they could have something nutritious and tummy friendly to eat for lunch.  So there I am, sterilising every surface of my bedroom, bathroom AND my body because I feel like I've been elbow-deep in poo!  Grossy-gross grossness  sick.gif sick.gif  And DH thought it was FUNNY when he finally got back and I related my horror story to him  rant.gif And now I feel like I have the same thing coming on.  And I have a MOUNTAIN of sheets and towels to wash and the machine is taking FOREVER for one load

Having said that, my poor little DD#3 - she's only 22 months old and cute as a button, such a happy and comedic little cherub.  To see her in distress because she can't contain her pooping is so sad - not screaming or crying but actually saying 'oh no' with a distressed little face as more poo comes running out of the nappy down her leg sad.gif 6 nappy changes in 1 hour is NOT FUN!

So, yeah, I really, REALLY wish I never knew that 'poo-explosion' meant exactly that!

ETA: warning - sorry Madam Protart  blush.gif

Edited by PLARK, 13 February 2013 - 10:03 PM.


#2 raone

Posted 13 February 2013 - 09:56 PM

Im so sorry but i had to laugh just a little. If it keeps happening could you put them in the shower and watch them. At least it wont go all over your floor or have to stick your hand in a pooey bath.

#3 PLARK

Posted 13 February 2013 - 09:59 PM

QUOTE (raone @ 13/02/2013, 05:26 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Im so sorry but i had to laugh just a little. If it keeps happening could you put them in the shower and watch them. At least it wont go all over your floor or have to stick your hand in a pooey bath.


raone-  I agree I will laugh at it, sooner rather than later too  happy.gif but seriously, I REALLY have never seen so much poo produced in such a short amount of time and from such a little person - she's only 10 or 11kg (I think she's about 1/2 that now as I'm sure the rest was pooed out!)

#4 YankDownUnder

Posted 13 February 2013 - 09:59 PM

What a mouthful of regurgitated breast milk tastes like.

#5 item

Posted 13 February 2013 - 10:00 PM

My DH has taught our son to say "Ooh the poo-manity!" In situations such as this.


#6 PLARK

Posted 13 February 2013 - 10:05 PM

QUOTE (YankDownUnder @ 13/02/2013, 05:29 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
What a mouthful of regurgitated breast milk tastes like.


sorry, I must be missing something so I have to ask....... *huh?*  huh.gif



#7 NotBitzerMaloney

Posted 13 February 2013 - 10:10 PM

As per the OP, it's mostly scatological...
- what a poo-nami looks like when the baby is in a car seat
- how to clean shoes that DS vomited INTO
- that poo can makes its way INSIDE a baby girl's vagina
- how much poo can hide in the folds in a baby boy's scrotum


#8 Soontobegran

Posted 13 February 2013 - 10:13 PM

QUOTE (PLARK @ 13/02/2013, 11:05 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
sorry, I must be missing something so I have to ask....... *huh?*  huh.gif



I think she is telling you something she wished she never knew about? original.gif

#9 heart-beat

Posted 13 February 2013 - 10:13 PM

Methinks YDU didn't read the post, just the header..

OP, I'm sorry your house is a poo wonderland but your story did make me chuckle.

Edited by MadreLoca, 13 February 2013 - 10:15 PM.


#10 pitzinoodles

Posted 13 February 2013 - 10:16 PM

Oh gross!, you poor thing!

I am a little concerned- have you got your flame suit on?

Unless  I'm reading it wrong you have crossed some unwritten  EB codes of conduct:

You drove in car wiith child not in car seat
You left a child under supervision of another child in a bath
You left a child unattended on the bed

The question is does a poo-plosion justify such reckless behaviour? wink.gif

#11 PLARK

Posted 13 February 2013 - 10:17 PM

QUOTE (soontobegran @ 13/02/2013, 05:43 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I think she is telling you something she wished she never knew about? original.gif


oh thanks, STBG - clearly the lack of sleep is affecting me - I forgot I asked others to add theirs!!

YDU - sorry to have a 'brain-fart' moment - I don't blame you for wishing you didn't know that, it sounds pretty gross.. care to add how you *discovered* that?  biggrin.gif

NBMaloney: there has to be an interesting story or two to those gems -do share original.gif I love these *real-life* experiences biggrin.gif

#12 howdoyoudoit

Posted 13 February 2013 - 10:21 PM

Yep..been there done that..infact ds#1 was 10months old and got gastro..his white grosuit ended up brown from feet to neck...was the worst thing ever. What I am concerned about is you holding the child in the car unrestrained and leaving them in the bath without supervision..thank god they were ok and I hope they get better soon...

#13 PLARK

Posted 13 February 2013 - 10:29 PM

QUOTE (pitzinoodles @ 13/02/2013, 05:46 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Oh gross!, you poor thing!

I am a little concerned- have you got your flame suit on?

Unless  I'm reading it wrong you have crossed some unwritten  EB codes of conduct:

You drove in car wiith child not in car seat
You left a child under supervision of another child in a bath
You left a child unattended on the bed

The question is does a poo-plosion justify such reckless behaviour? wink.gif


that's ok - I love a derailed thread

but, in answer to your very valid points.....

car seat not in use as poo was everywhere, also we live in India so the laws re car seats are not the same as in Aus (there's no laws actually, they've only recently introduced seat belt laws  huh.gif ) BUT I promise it really was just around the corner

No child was unattended, I promise, as I have a big hulking 16yo son who was there - he was the one who stayed with bubs and then both girls while in the bath (ensuite with door open - I never leave them alone in ANY room - have you SEEN what damage 2 toddlers can do in a room??!) I didn't ask DS to actually help with the cleanup as he's the type to make an even bigger mess!!

ETA we DO have car seats for the girls - Aussie ones as the ones manufactured here are not nearly up to our safety standards - and I am anal about using them which frustrates a lot of people here but I don't care, they are MY babies and I'll do whatever I have to to keep them safe.  However, YOU try putting baby with poo everywhere back in pooey car seat (and I still have to clean THAT as well  cry1.gif )

Edited by PLARK, 13 February 2013 - 10:32 PM.


#14 LovenFire

Posted 13 February 2013 - 10:35 PM

Oh dear... How are the babies now?

#15 Feral Grey Mare

Posted 13 February 2013 - 10:39 PM

Did any of us, before we had children, imagine we would ever be discussing this topic?

#16 NotBitzerMaloney

Posted 13 February 2013 - 10:46 PM

QUOTE (Old Grey Mare @ 13/02/2013, 11:39 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Did any of us, before we had children, imagine we would ever be discussing this topic?


No. Not in 100 lifetimes.

The glamour of parenthood!

#17 ms flib

Posted 13 February 2013 - 10:46 PM

'poo-nami'

#18 Minxybug

Posted 13 February 2013 - 11:07 PM

Oh dear. I also had to laugh at this as I have been there before and took the option of showering DS. Lucky for me though it happened at home so didn't have the car seat situation.

I know all to well that feeling when you walk into a room and smell that sick.gif smell knowing what you will find and what now needs to be done.

Hope they are feeling better soon and you don't have to deal with to much more bodily secretions.

#19 Feralishous

Posted 13 February 2013 - 11:17 PM

QUOTE (Old Grey Mare @ 13/02/2013, 08:39 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Did any of us, before we had children, imagine we would ever be discussing this topic?

laugh.gif
I certainly wouldnt have!

#20 happygurl06

Posted 14 February 2013 - 11:37 AM

I thought I had experienced poosplosion until it really happened to DD at age 5!  She knew it was about to happen, I pulled over picked up an enviro bag that happened to be laying around in the car and whipped her out of the car seat, pants down, crouching on the normal back seat, bag in position and there she blows!  The force was amazing it almost sh*t the bag out of my hand, all splastered upwards,  the smell unexplainable.

Suffice to say, enviro bags are NOT waterproof!

I sold the car not long after.



#21 YankDownUnder

Posted 14 February 2013 - 02:13 PM

QUOTE (PLARK @ 13/02/2013, 11:17 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
oh thanks, STBG - clearly the lack of sleep is affecting me - I forgot I asked others to add theirs!!

YDU - sorry to have a 'brain-fart' moment - I don't blame you for wishing you didn't know that, it sounds pretty gross.. care to add how you *discovered* that?  biggrin.gif

Aw, jeez.  Yeah, lack of sleep is clearly affecting me, too.  blush.gif  8-month-old twins will do that to you.  I'll read more carefully next time.

As for how I know, well, I've had four puke-y breastfed kids.  It was bound to happen sooner or later and one of the twinnies was happy to provide.


#22 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 14 February 2013 - 02:37 PM

QUOTE (happygurl06 @ 14/02/2013, 11:37 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I thought I had experienced poosplosion until it really happened to DD at age 5!  She knew it was about to happen, I pulled over picked up an enviro bag that happened to be laying around in the car and whipped her out of the car seat, pants down, crouching on the normal back seat, bag in position and there she blows!  The force was amazing it almost sh*t the bag out of my hand, all splastered upwards,  the smell unexplainable.

Suffice to say, enviro bags are NOT waterproof!


I sold the car not long after.

BAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  roll2.gif

#23 Leggy

Posted 14 February 2013 - 02:50 PM

Oh man, I'd forgotten the horror of the poo-nami. It's been a while.

OP, you poor thing, it sounds like one of those comedies where one thing goes wrong after another!

I wish I didn't know what a child with a really bad smallpox case looks like. We used to have this kind of competition with our infectious disease lecturers where we would try to be as nonchalant as possible, while they would try to get a reaction out of us. They definitely won that round, mostly by flicking this horrific picture up on screen without much warning.

#24 Rans.

Posted 14 February 2013 - 02:51 PM

QUOTE (happygurl06 @ 14/02/2013, 12:37 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I thought I had experienced poosplosion until it really happened to DD at age 5!  She knew it was about to happen, I pulled over picked up an enviro bag that happened to be laying around in the car and whipped her out of the car seat, pants down, crouching on the normal back seat, bag in position and there she blows!  The force was amazing it almost sh*t the bag out of my hand, all splastered upwards,  the smell unexplainable.

Suffice to say, enviro bags are NOT waterproof!

I sold the car not long after.


That is the FUNNIEST thing I have read in a really long time...  biggrin.gif

On the whole 'car seat' thing, I once had to get my dad to come and get DS2 (18 months at the time)from Kindy so that I could drive home in our spew covered car.... As I pulled in to Kindy he started throwing up and just didn't stop. the sheer volume of it was astounding! There is no way I could have driven the poor kid home sitting in that seat

#25 boatiebabe

Posted 14 February 2013 - 03:01 PM

Sorry I know this is bad for you but has given me such a laugh today.

I've had a couple of shockers in my time (thankfully the kids are older now and can puke in a bucket and make the toilet ) but I remember a few years back coming home from Sydney with my two in the back (probably DS was 2 and DD was 4 at the time). DD said she wasn't feeling so good and I had stopped the car on the way home a couple of times to let her out (it was about a 45 minute drive).

We had come down a fairly windy road and were a few minutes from home when I turned to look at DS who made a strange noise. Cue projectile vomit from his nose and then mouth all over himself, the seat, the interior and poor MIL in the front seat.

DD took one look at what had happened and she also projectile vomited everywhere including over me in the driver's seat.

I stopped but as I had no where near enough supplies to deal with the disaster I had to drive the five minutes home with them both in HYSTERICS and the most god awful smell in the world.

Thankfully MIL was with us. She got the bath going while I stripped them naked on the front lawn and then got them up to her.

Took a while to settle them...then Oh the car!

I spent the most part of the next three hours cleaning it out and then another couple dismantling every part of their car seats to be able to get all the vomit out.

I can't imagine how bad it would have been had I been on my own and far from home.






1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

A mum's tragic battle against inflammatory breast cancer

At just 37 years of age, with two young sons, Vicki was diagnosed with inflammatory breast cancer. Now her family wants all women to know the symptoms.

The business of babies around the world

Pregnancy and birth is an intriguing process no matter where you are in the world. One soon-to-be father gleans wisdom from a new guide.

Finding a positive path through IVF

It’s not surprising that IVF is often seen as a negative journey towards the ultimate positive, but having a glass-half-full approach can make a big difference to the experience.

Giving strangers the gift of parenthood

A mum explains why she and her husband are choosing to gift their leftover embryos to help strangers achieve their dream of parenthood.

Does morning sickness get better or worse with each child?

Just as every baby is unique, so is every pregnancy. And that means morning sickness can vary a lot, too.

What's so wrong with looking 'mumsy', anyway?

Why is it that the word ‘mumsy’ has connotations of such a negative nature – but seems to be the only other option apart from ‘yummy’?

Trying to speed up the inevitable

As the waiting game of late pregnancy continues, this mum considers a few things that might hurry things up a little.

One month later: where is William Tyrell?

It has been a little over a month since William Tyrell disappeared from his grandmother's home, 33 long sleepless nights for his family as they mourn the absence of their cheeky young boy.

Winter's child less likely to be moody: study

Babies born in the summer are much more likely to suffer from mood swings when they grow up, while those born in the winter are less likely to become irritable adults, scientists claim.

Single mum of two creates award-winning baby app

Suddenly single with a baby and an 11-year-old son, Tara O?Connell developed an app to improve the lives of mothers who were similarly overwhelmed.

Food for thought: looking after yourself as a new mum

As soon as your baby enters the world, everything else takes a back seat - even the necessities of daily life such as eating are severely compromised, right when you need energy the most.

'Grabbable guts' campaign aims to cut toxic fat

The Live Lighter campaign will take people inside the human body to show the internal dangers of being overweight.

The best and worst month of my life

A new mum's first month of motherhood didn't pan out as expected when she lost a family member weeks after her baby's birth.

Facebook and Apple offer to pay female staff to freeze their eggs

Facebook and Apple are hoping to provide women with the freedom to build their careers without the added pressure of having children at or by a certain age.

How a pregnancy contract could work for you and your partner

The idea of making a 'pregnancy contract' with your partner may sound a bit silly at first, but it can help make the transition to parenthood a lot smoother.

Finding a mum-friendly personal trainer

Burping babies vs burpees – yes, new mums and personal trainers live in different worlds. But they can work together - once you find the right match for you and your lifestyle.

Alleged baby snatch incident a ?misunderstanding?, say police

Police say that an incident in which a man pulled on a woman?s pram while walking a popular Sydney route late last month was a misunderstanding.

Ebola killed my aunt and is shutting down my country

Three weeks ago, my auntie, a midwife, developed a fever. Sitting here in Sydney basked in Australian sunshine, that shouldn't be big news.

The night my ovary burst

One mum shares her frightening experience and vows to never take her health for granted again.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

16 parenting truths you won't find in the baby books

I am five years into this parenting gig and I’ve learnt that sleepless nights and changing dirty nappies are child’s play.

Win 1 of 5 Canon Powershot D30 cameras

Capture life more easily with the Canon Powershot D30. Shockproof, waterproof and dustproof, you can take it almost anywhere and shoot beautiful images, time after time. Enter now!

Best and worst potty party cakes

It's nice to celebrate a child making the shift from nappies to 'big kid' undies, but do we really need a semi-realistic used toilet cake to do it? Here are some of the best and worst cakes parents have used at 'potty parties' around the world.

7 tips for a financially festive Christmas

Plan ahead - and do it now - to ensure festive season expenses don't break the bank.

'Go the F*** to Sleep' author's new book for frustrated parents

A sequel is coming soon to the 2011 hit book 'Go the F*** to Sleep' - and this time, it's about mealtimes.

Great birthday party buys from Etsy

Handmade crafts to decorate and personalise your child's next birthday - from banners to cake decorations, we've got gorgeous party finds from Etsy.

Creative storage ideas for the kids' rooms

Creative and practical storage ideas for the kids' toys and books can also add some stylish decor to your home. Visit babyology.com.au for more stylish modern finds for hip kids & parents.

Student shocked by surprise baby

Kate Hudson, 22, was on a dream European holiday with friends. She didn't realise she was about to become a mum.

To the mum in the doctor's waiting room

Maybe the mum I saw in that waiting room, seemingly disconnected from her baby, doesn’t have the support she needs.

10 space-saving nursery ideas

Starting a family doesn't always mean moving into a bigger house - not yet, anyway.

 

What's in a name?

Baby Names

Looking for a classic name, or an unusual name? Our Baby Name Finder is for you, search or browse to refine your shortlist.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.