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Things I wish I never knew.....
**warning - do not read whilst eating


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#1 PLARK

Posted 13 February 2013 - 09:50 PM

Right now, the thing I wish I never knew was the TRUE meaning of 'poo-exlosion'

Oh, sure, there were times that my LO's had overflowing nappies but TODAY, oh TODAY my experience with said poo-explosion took it to a whole new level

DD 22 months has been off-colour for a few days, off her food, slight fever.  Then last night she started vomiting and vomited 9 times between 1am and 7am - I know, because I stayed up all night freaking out that she might choke.

At this stage there was no sign of poos.  THEN she started passing wind and OMG!   sick.gif This little fella doesn't even get close to capturing the vileness of it.  This was my first clue that we were in for 'something extraordinary'.

So on the way back from dr's I had DH stop at the supermarket to get some fresh veggies and chicken to make a nice soup for the girls (other DD looks to be coming down with the same *sigh*).  I get back to the car and open the door to be met by a WAVE of putrid smelling air and my DH gingerly holding DD whilst looking panicked.  The look of relief on his face was priceless as he handed her over to me (he doesn't do #2 nappies - I usually prefer to do them so I can make sure to clean her properly... this may change after today!)  Seeing as home was just around the corner I chose to hold her and change her at home.  As soon as we parked the car I bolted upstairs and straight to the bathroom as I knew baby wipes would NOT get rid of the stench.  Proceed to clean her up and bathe her.  Meantime, DH brings up other DD (fully tt'd 3yo) and takes off to go to the chemist for bub's medications.  No problem.  Then older DD informs me that she needs to go toilet.  Again, no prob.  Tell her to get her pants off and get to the bathroom; in the meantime I wrap bubs in a towel and pop her on my bed.  AS I AM IN THE MIDDLE OF DOING THIS older DD WHO DIDN'T GO STRAIGHT TO THE BATHROOM AS INSTRUCTED pees all over my bedroom floor, splashing urine all over my furniture!!  Ahhhgghh!!!  OK, still calm at this point - tell DD not to worry, it's an accident blah blah blah and I will give her a quick wash.  Run to laundry to get dirty towel to sop up pee so I can then mop and clean up.  AS I AM COMING INTO THE ROOM A STENCH HITS ME!  You guessed it - bub's has let rip ALL OVER MY BED  cry1.gif cry1.gif cry1.gif   At this point I start freaking out *just* a little..... OK, I'm still keeping it together, yell at DD to get in the bath, I'll be there in a minute, start cleaning up bub's who is looking mildly baffled as to what the hell is going on with her butt.  Clean off poo from bub's butt, plonk her in bath with DD. Run out to finish cleaning poo,that is the consistency of dahl, off bed (THANK goodness for mattress protectors!!) Finish stripping bed, start the floor cleaning when I hear *oh yuck!* from DD.  My heart sinks as I bolt back to the bathroom (ensuite) to find bub's has pooed in the bath sad.gif To make matters worse it is a baby bath the girls share with a leak in it (which I like as it gives them a time limit) but this leak means I now have watery poo all over my bathroom floor  cry1.gif cry1.gif cry1.gif   THIS is when I finally freak out, try to call DH to get back home to help me asap whilst trying to wash down both girls with dettol soap.  Both are getting freaked out because I am freaked out because I am so darned grossed-out, so add to the dramas a massive parenting fail!  And OMG!!! The sheer VOLUME of said poos - where the heck did they come from???!!!!! She's barely eaten for the last 2-3 days and she vomited EVERYTHING out last night and she's a regular pooper... I just don't get it.  Totally and utterly gross!!!  And I STILL had to get the soup going so they could have something nutritious and tummy friendly to eat for lunch.  So there I am, sterilising every surface of my bedroom, bathroom AND my body because I feel like I've been elbow-deep in poo!  Grossy-gross grossness  sick.gif sick.gif  And DH thought it was FUNNY when he finally got back and I related my horror story to him  rant.gif And now I feel like I have the same thing coming on.  And I have a MOUNTAIN of sheets and towels to wash and the machine is taking FOREVER for one load

Having said that, my poor little DD#3 - she's only 22 months old and cute as a button, such a happy and comedic little cherub.  To see her in distress because she can't contain her pooping is so sad - not screaming or crying but actually saying 'oh no' with a distressed little face as more poo comes running out of the nappy down her leg sad.gif 6 nappy changes in 1 hour is NOT FUN!

So, yeah, I really, REALLY wish I never knew that 'poo-explosion' meant exactly that!

ETA: warning - sorry Madam Protart  blush.gif

Edited by PLARK, 13 February 2013 - 10:03 PM.


#2 raone

Posted 13 February 2013 - 09:56 PM

Im so sorry but i had to laugh just a little. If it keeps happening could you put them in the shower and watch them. At least it wont go all over your floor or have to stick your hand in a pooey bath.

#3 PLARK

Posted 13 February 2013 - 09:59 PM

QUOTE (raone @ 13/02/2013, 05:26 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Im so sorry but i had to laugh just a little. If it keeps happening could you put them in the shower and watch them. At least it wont go all over your floor or have to stick your hand in a pooey bath.


raone-  I agree I will laugh at it, sooner rather than later too  happy.gif but seriously, I REALLY have never seen so much poo produced in such a short amount of time and from such a little person - she's only 10 or 11kg (I think she's about 1/2 that now as I'm sure the rest was pooed out!)

#4 YankDownUnder

Posted 13 February 2013 - 09:59 PM

What a mouthful of regurgitated breast milk tastes like.

#5 item

Posted 13 February 2013 - 10:00 PM

My DH has taught our son to say "Ooh the poo-manity!" In situations such as this.


#6 Cat People

Posted 13 February 2013 - 10:00 PM

Ok you need a warning with this thread.  I'm eating dinner here people!

#7 PLARK

Posted 13 February 2013 - 10:05 PM

QUOTE (YankDownUnder @ 13/02/2013, 05:29 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
What a mouthful of regurgitated breast milk tastes like.


sorry, I must be missing something so I have to ask....... *huh?*  huh.gif



#8 NotBitzerMaloney

Posted 13 February 2013 - 10:10 PM

As per the OP, it's mostly scatological...
- what a poo-nami looks like when the baby is in a car seat
- how to clean shoes that DS vomited INTO
- that poo can makes its way INSIDE a baby girl's vagina
- how much poo can hide in the folds in a baby boy's scrotum


#9 Soontobegran

Posted 13 February 2013 - 10:13 PM

QUOTE (PLARK @ 13/02/2013, 11:05 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
sorry, I must be missing something so I have to ask....... *huh?*  huh.gif



I think she is telling you something she wished she never knew about? original.gif

#10 MadreLoca

Posted 13 February 2013 - 10:13 PM

Methinks YDU didn't read the post, just the header..

OP, I'm sorry your house is a poo wonderland but your story did make me chuckle.

Edited by MadreLoca, 13 February 2013 - 10:15 PM.


#11 pitzinoodles

Posted 13 February 2013 - 10:16 PM

Oh gross!, you poor thing!

I am a little concerned- have you got your flame suit on?

Unless  I'm reading it wrong you have crossed some unwritten  EB codes of conduct:

You drove in car wiith child not in car seat
You left a child under supervision of another child in a bath
You left a child unattended on the bed

The question is does a poo-plosion justify such reckless behaviour? wink.gif

#12 PLARK

Posted 13 February 2013 - 10:17 PM

QUOTE (soontobegran @ 13/02/2013, 05:43 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I think she is telling you something she wished she never knew about? original.gif


oh thanks, STBG - clearly the lack of sleep is affecting me - I forgot I asked others to add theirs!!

YDU - sorry to have a 'brain-fart' moment - I don't blame you for wishing you didn't know that, it sounds pretty gross.. care to add how you *discovered* that?  biggrin.gif

NBMaloney: there has to be an interesting story or two to those gems -do share original.gif I love these *real-life* experiences biggrin.gif

#13 howdoyoudoit

Posted 13 February 2013 - 10:21 PM

Yep..been there done that..infact ds#1 was 10months old and got gastro..his white grosuit ended up brown from feet to neck...was the worst thing ever. What I am concerned about is you holding the child in the car unrestrained and leaving them in the bath without supervision..thank god they were ok and I hope they get better soon...

#14 PLARK

Posted 13 February 2013 - 10:29 PM

QUOTE (pitzinoodles @ 13/02/2013, 05:46 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Oh gross!, you poor thing!

I am a little concerned- have you got your flame suit on?

Unless  I'm reading it wrong you have crossed some unwritten  EB codes of conduct:

You drove in car wiith child not in car seat
You left a child under supervision of another child in a bath
You left a child unattended on the bed

The question is does a poo-plosion justify such reckless behaviour? wink.gif


that's ok - I love a derailed thread

but, in answer to your very valid points.....

car seat not in use as poo was everywhere, also we live in India so the laws re car seats are not the same as in Aus (there's no laws actually, they've only recently introduced seat belt laws  huh.gif ) BUT I promise it really was just around the corner

No child was unattended, I promise, as I have a big hulking 16yo son who was there - he was the one who stayed with bubs and then both girls while in the bath (ensuite with door open - I never leave them alone in ANY room - have you SEEN what damage 2 toddlers can do in a room??!) I didn't ask DS to actually help with the cleanup as he's the type to make an even bigger mess!!

ETA we DO have car seats for the girls - Aussie ones as the ones manufactured here are not nearly up to our safety standards - and I am anal about using them which frustrates a lot of people here but I don't care, they are MY babies and I'll do whatever I have to to keep them safe.  However, YOU try putting baby with poo everywhere back in pooey car seat (and I still have to clean THAT as well  cry1.gif )

Edited by PLARK, 13 February 2013 - 10:32 PM.


#15 LovenFire

Posted 13 February 2013 - 10:35 PM

Oh dear... How are the babies now?

#16 Feral Grey Mare

Posted 13 February 2013 - 10:39 PM

Did any of us, before we had children, imagine we would ever be discussing this topic?

#17 NotBitzerMaloney

Posted 13 February 2013 - 10:46 PM

QUOTE (Old Grey Mare @ 13/02/2013, 11:39 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Did any of us, before we had children, imagine we would ever be discussing this topic?


No. Not in 100 lifetimes.

The glamour of parenthood!

#18 ms flib

Posted 13 February 2013 - 10:46 PM

'poo-nami'

#19 Minxybug

Posted 13 February 2013 - 11:07 PM

Oh dear. I also had to laugh at this as I have been there before and took the option of showering DS. Lucky for me though it happened at home so didn't have the car seat situation.

I know all to well that feeling when you walk into a room and smell that sick.gif smell knowing what you will find and what now needs to be done.

Hope they are feeling better soon and you don't have to deal with to much more bodily secretions.

#20 Feralishous

Posted 13 February 2013 - 11:17 PM

QUOTE (Old Grey Mare @ 13/02/2013, 08:39 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Did any of us, before we had children, imagine we would ever be discussing this topic?

laugh.gif
I certainly wouldnt have!

#21 happygurl06

Posted 14 February 2013 - 11:37 AM

I thought I had experienced poosplosion until it really happened to DD at age 5!  She knew it was about to happen, I pulled over picked up an enviro bag that happened to be laying around in the car and whipped her out of the car seat, pants down, crouching on the normal back seat, bag in position and there she blows!  The force was amazing it almost sh*t the bag out of my hand, all splastered upwards,  the smell unexplainable.

Suffice to say, enviro bags are NOT waterproof!

I sold the car not long after.



#22 YankDownUnder

Posted 14 February 2013 - 02:13 PM

QUOTE (PLARK @ 13/02/2013, 11:17 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
oh thanks, STBG - clearly the lack of sleep is affecting me - I forgot I asked others to add theirs!!

YDU - sorry to have a 'brain-fart' moment - I don't blame you for wishing you didn't know that, it sounds pretty gross.. care to add how you *discovered* that?  biggrin.gif

Aw, jeez.  Yeah, lack of sleep is clearly affecting me, too.  blush.gif  8-month-old twins will do that to you.  I'll read more carefully next time.

As for how I know, well, I've had four puke-y breastfed kids.  It was bound to happen sooner or later and one of the twinnies was happy to provide.


#23 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 14 February 2013 - 02:37 PM

QUOTE (happygurl06 @ 14/02/2013, 11:37 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I thought I had experienced poosplosion until it really happened to DD at age 5!  She knew it was about to happen, I pulled over picked up an enviro bag that happened to be laying around in the car and whipped her out of the car seat, pants down, crouching on the normal back seat, bag in position and there she blows!  The force was amazing it almost sh*t the bag out of my hand, all splastered upwards,  the smell unexplainable.

Suffice to say, enviro bags are NOT waterproof!


I sold the car not long after.

BAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  roll2.gif

#24 Leggy

Posted 14 February 2013 - 02:50 PM

Oh man, I'd forgotten the horror of the poo-nami. It's been a while.

OP, you poor thing, it sounds like one of those comedies where one thing goes wrong after another!

I wish I didn't know what a child with a really bad smallpox case looks like. We used to have this kind of competition with our infectious disease lecturers where we would try to be as nonchalant as possible, while they would try to get a reaction out of us. They definitely won that round, mostly by flicking this horrific picture up on screen without much warning.

#25 Rans.

Posted 14 February 2013 - 02:51 PM

QUOTE (happygurl06 @ 14/02/2013, 12:37 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I thought I had experienced poosplosion until it really happened to DD at age 5!  She knew it was about to happen, I pulled over picked up an enviro bag that happened to be laying around in the car and whipped her out of the car seat, pants down, crouching on the normal back seat, bag in position and there she blows!  The force was amazing it almost sh*t the bag out of my hand, all splastered upwards,  the smell unexplainable.

Suffice to say, enviro bags are NOT waterproof!

I sold the car not long after.


That is the FUNNIEST thing I have read in a really long time...  biggrin.gif

On the whole 'car seat' thing, I once had to get my dad to come and get DS2 (18 months at the time)from Kindy so that I could drive home in our spew covered car.... As I pulled in to Kindy he started throwing up and just didn't stop. the sheer volume of it was astounding! There is no way I could have driven the poor kid home sitting in that seat




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