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Outgoing messages

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#1 unicorn

Posted 13 February 2013 - 10:37 AM

Mine is going to be very boring, something like "Hi this is blah & blah, phone is unattended at the moment, leave a message or ring the mobile" type thing. We receive phone calls from general members of the public for DH's business and other things so it needs to be concise and easy to understand.
I think those messages that are along the lines of "hi you have reached (male voice says male name), (female voice says female name) and (child voice says child's name) and our pets rufus, moggie and tweety bird" or "hello, hello can you hear me, oh yeah answering machine" are really naff.
What does your OGM say?

#2 FeralFerretOfDoom

Posted 13 February 2013 - 11:45 AM

Ahhhh... memories.

Our message these days is very mundane, but when I was a uni student 20-odd years ago, living with my sister, we had a message that said:

"Hello, I'm the answering machine. At the moment (Ferret's sister) is a microscopic speck contemplating the vast entirely of the universe, while (Ferret) is having an in-depth conversation with a teapot. Please leave a message and one of them will get back to you just as soon as the phone stops thinking it's a hedgehog."

We got a number of messages that were just hysterical laughter.

Edited by FemboFerretOfDoom, 13 February 2013 - 11:46 AM.

#3 WhimsicalDragonfly

Posted 13 February 2013 - 11:47 AM


#4 niggles

Posted 13 February 2013 - 11:52 AM

My phone says "Hello. Your call cannot be answered at the moment and you cannot leave a message."

So bascially the person gets charged for a phone call for no good reason. It's a nightmare but I've read the manual a million times and I cannot figure out how to turn the normal "Please leave a message after the beep" back on again.

#5 Ireckon

Posted 13 February 2013 - 11:53 AM

Much like Ferret's, we had one that said ( before we ever had kids etc)

" uh...this is the toaster. The answering machine has just left.....Not sure where it went...but if you leave a message, I'll try and get it to the toast makers"

MIL made a point of telling us how stupid it was. She was not my biggest fan when DH and I were just dating.

Our best one was one we did whilst having a party. The whole crowd yelled out

#6 unicorn

Posted 13 February 2013 - 11:56 AM


#7 HRH Countrymel

Posted 13 February 2013 - 12:03 PM

I'm sure I got a share house once simply because my name would help to make the stupid wacky answering machine message sound better!

Unfortunately for the message maker my friends would leave messages that would start with a sigh and often then continue with "Hasn't that idiot tired of that lame a*sed joke yet?"

Later in that house a different flatmate installed one of those 'commander systems' that he'd scored from somewhere he used to love, love, love transferring calls (had put an extension in EVERY room in the house!) and placing callers on hold - an IT nerd who moved in (oh OK it was DP!) hacked it so that it would give little 'Your call is important to us' messages - but we also recorded a little 'hold muzak' that if you listened closely was actually a very rude song about the telephone obsessive!

Happy days!

I have neither an answering machine nor the telstra thingy now, and our phoneline infrastructure is such that I don't even get the 'someone else is calling you' beeps.

#8 MissNess

Posted 13 February 2013 - 12:08 PM

My OGM on my mobile is

Sorry I can't get your call but if you leave your name, number and a short message and a reason to call you back I'll get back to you. No, "I'm your mother" is not a good reason.

I'm so sick of people who prefer to call back 4 or 5 times in a matter of minutes without leaving a message or leaving vague "Call me" messages when they do bother. I need to know how to prioritise my return call.

#9 HRH Countrymel

Posted 13 February 2013 - 12:21 PM

QUOTE (~*Twilight~Zone*~ @ 13/02/2013, 01:13 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Years ago we had a very tacky song on our answering machine.

It went

"hey how ya doing, sorry ya can't get through why doncha ya leave ya name -n- your number -n- we'll get back to you"

De La Soul - yeah!

#10 kpingitquiet

Posted 13 February 2013 - 12:24 PM

I'm never motivated to change mine from the computer-generated stock msg. So yep.

#11 fillesetjumeaux

Posted 13 February 2013 - 02:13 PM

I've just recently changed mine - the old one dated from when the boys were crawling, and would disappear with the handset:

"Hi, we can't find the handset to take your call right now.  Darcy and Leo have probably hidden it.  If you leave a message, we'll get back to you as soon as we find it."

Now it's just "Hi, you've reached the Fillesetjumeaux family.  We can't take your call right now, but if you leave a message, we'll get back to you as soon as we can."

#12 Bluenomi

Posted 13 February 2013 - 02:19 PM

I may or may not have had part of a Def Leppard song as my message at one stage  wwhistle.gif To be fair the lyrics were an answering machine message  biggrin.gif

These days I have the boring 'I can't take your call right now, leave a message' style recording.

#13 Jadeerebecca

Posted 13 February 2013 - 02:20 PM

Mine is just the usual now but i have a friend who tricks you..
she says helloo (how she normally does) then goes on to say she cant hear you.
Meanwhile i fall for it almost everytime. At the end she laughs and says to leave a message.

#14 Banana Pancakes

Posted 13 February 2013 - 02:22 PM

Years ago we had a very tacky song on our answering machine.

It went

"hey how ya doing, sorry ya can't get through why doncha ya leave ya name -n- your number -n- we'll get back to you"

We had this as well but my Father made my sister and I sing it. Oh the shame  blush.gif , he thought it was hilarious.

This is my favourite answering machine message ever!

Edited by Banana Pancakes, 13 February 2013 - 02:22 PM.

#15 elizabethany

Posted 13 February 2013 - 03:04 PM

When I was young and silly I had this, now I just have a random british dude that came with the phone.  Freaks out the randoms, as it is NOTHING like me or DH.

#16 mummygirl

Posted 13 February 2013 - 03:14 PM

Ours used to be

"Hi, we are probably home. If you are a telemarketer, p*ss off!! Everyone else, leave a message and if we are home we will pick up or call you back soon"

#17 Mummy Em

Posted 13 February 2013 - 03:14 PM

When I was in student housing the boys used to often answer the phone with smart intros such "city morgue- you stab 'em, slab 'em."

#18 Baroness Bubbles

Posted 13 February 2013 - 03:25 PM

QUOTE (Mummy Em @ 13/02/2013, 04:14 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
When I was in student housing the boys used to often answer the phone with smart intros such "city morgue- you stab 'em, slab 'em."

When under the influence of alcohol whilst living in a share house, I would answer the phone with one of these:

Bobs BBQ, you kill em, we grill em
Penrith morgue, you kill em, we chill em

Or the one that got the most laughs, simply saying


My message now is stock standard and boring

#19 Zephie Chugger

Posted 13 February 2013 - 04:43 PM

I've changed my some many times.....

Hi, I'm out having a life call my mobile on ##### if you would like to join me or leave a message if you have don't have my mobile  (in my 20's)

another, People I'm working call back when I'm home after 6pm

Dam I missed your call I need to talk to you please call again

Sorry cant hear you I must be asleep  leave a message if you are awake

and so on I hardly returned people messages.

Now  stock standard and boring and I call people back original.gif

My mobile once said  Zephie phone is in her pocket when she finds out you called she will call you back love (my partner)

#20 Lickety Split

Posted 13 February 2013 - 04:55 PM

Mine currently says "No I haven't had the baby yet. If you are calling for another reason, please leave a message."

#21 chickenpants

Posted 13 February 2013 - 07:04 PM

I have had to start ours off with our phone #

"You have reached [phone number].  [Name] and [Name] can't take your call at the moment so please leave a message."

I tried so many variations - our number appears to be very similar to that of a local dentist, so we came home quite often to messages about wanting to book appointments, 'I broke my tooth can I come in tomorrow', 'I won't be able to make my appointment can I reschedule' and so on.

Now that the numbers come first the random messages have decreased.

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