Jump to content

Daycare Inapropriate Incident
*Warning - inapropriate sexual behaviour*


  • Please log in to reply
10 replies to this topic

#1 mousymousy

Posted 13 February 2013 - 08:26 AM

Old user going anon...


Well im currently in shock and do not quiet know how to write this but here goes.

On Monday i get a call from daycare saying that they need to talk to me and could I come into the office before i pick up my ds and dd.
I go in and i am told the following ....that a teacher caught another boy pulling my ds pants down and putting his penis in his mouth. When asked what happened my son responded with the boy had wanted to play a game - and the other boy didnt even have a response.  Im in shock about the whole thing including why didnt my son yell out straight away? he does normally consider this boy a good playmate so I dont know if he must have been convinced it was some sort of game? well the police and the government department were contacted by the daycare over the incident and i was told that they would be interviewing the other boy seperatly (without his parents) because this sort of behaviour can indicadate sexual assault.
This was on Monday and my son is due back at daycare on Friday, I dont know if I should be contacting the daycare to find out what is to happen to the other little boy, or should i contact the police directly?

Im not really thinking straight at the moment so please excuse this sounding like a ramble.  My heart is breaking for my son (though he seems fine and not traumatised - he just said he doesnt want to play with this boy anymore) and almost more so for the other child if he is been abused - im crying as I type.

So i guess im looking for what would you do in this situation answers? Btw the children are 4 years old and we are from SA if that helps.

#2 niggles

Posted 13 February 2013 - 08:35 AM

My guess is your son did think it was some sort of game. Exploring bodies at that age is possibly not very different to other types of exploration? Though of course it is worrying if it does indicate some signs of abuse in the other boy.

I hope your son bounces back. In your case I'd do some reading and / or chat with some professionals about protective behaviour so you can debrief this effectively with him and feel confident he feels safe in the future.

#3 GenWhy

Posted 13 February 2013 - 08:35 AM

At 4 years of age police will NOT interview the child separately and it will not be over criminal charges etc. It is more likely he will have sex assault police and an interview friend with him to ascertain if he is the victim of abuse at home. I would highly recommend talking to the police and a social worker who can get you victim support information and also refer you to a protective behaviours workshop.

Sorry you're going through this OP. Sometimes kids just do awful things in the name of curiosity.

#4 MummyLyss

Posted 13 February 2013 - 08:38 AM

ohmy.gif

I would probably start by calling the day care, though they may not be helpful. I'm not sure where privacy laws stand with this sort of thing. But I say call the day care and then speak to the police involved if need be. Good luck OP, I hope your son is ok!

ETA -- I agree with PP to find info on protective behaviors

Edited by MummyLyss, 13 February 2013 - 08:41 AM.


#5 Red nut

Posted 13 February 2013 - 08:41 AM

Have a talk to your son about boundaries, (this sounds like a great opportunity to do something we all should, but probably don't) but I'm sure he's fine.

The other child though.... I'm terribly concerned. But the appropriate people are on to it, so I don't think it's your responsibility to do anything further.

#6 Cat Burglar

Posted 13 February 2013 - 08:47 AM

Im pretty sure that the police / day care wont be able to tell you anything re: the other child as they are not allowed to if a child bites, for example.
So sorry this has happened to your DS and I hope it does turn out to be just a game and nothing more.

#7 qak

Posted 13 February 2013 - 08:48 AM

How awful, it would be distressing to hear this happened.  At the age of 4 I think you need to be mindful that to the kids these actions between them were innocent.

I suspect that the daycare (and police) will not be able to tell you about what is to happen to the other child, due to privacy and investigations.

I think you should be able to ask the day care how they will deal with the incident - do they want to separate the children, provide more supervision?

#8 hodgepodge

Posted 13 February 2013 - 09:02 AM

I too would contact the manager/director at the daycare centre and ask to catch up in person about the incident. Sometimes it is easier to get information face to face rather than over the phone.

We have a great book which was sponsored/supported by the QLD Health Dept called "Everyone Has A Bottom". It is a childrens book which we have found quite helpful while trying to teach our children about their body and what is appropriate & inappropriate behaivour.  It also has some great info in the back of the book for parents. This might help you to open up discussions with your son in a more relaxed way.

All the best to you and your family.

#9 SnazzyFeral

Posted 13 February 2013 - 09:04 AM

Have you called the kids help line? 1800 55 1800. They can help you with what to do now. Also you can call your local community health and they should be able to hook you up with some Counsellors who can help your family deal with this.

#10 Lightning_bug

Posted 13 February 2013 - 09:13 AM

OP, in NSW our childcare has a connection with the local police and they run an awareness program.

I was incredibly impressed with the way they approached the issue.  A booklet, a talk from a police officer on safety and games  to make them understand.

If you're interested contact the SA Police Community Relations Section (08) 7322 4027 and they may have something similar.

IMHO, I would seek advice on how to approach this.  Right now he just thinks it was a game and doesn't think anything of it.  If you start introducing the notion it was bad and shouldn't have happened it may well result in him feeling he did something bad...

Good luck OP.

Edited by Lightning_bug, 13 February 2013 - 09:15 AM.


#11 Chelli

Posted 13 February 2013 - 09:30 AM

I would ask to speak to a counsellor that the child care centre should have arranged. When a centre I know of went through a very similar incident, a counsellor was brought in to speak to all of the staff. They were then offered more counseling if they wished, and the counsellor was also made available for the families involved.

I too hope your DS is ok.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

WIN an exclusive performance from Sam Moran!

To celebrate the release of children?s musical series Play Along with Sam, out now on DVD, we?re giving one lucky parent the chance to have Sam perform at their child?s pre-school or day care!

Toddler freed after getting trapped in escalator

A shopping centre escalator needed to be pulled apart to free a toddler's trapped hand.

Why I'm kind of excited about my daughter's nits

Is it weird to say that I am secretly thrilled to find that my daughter Edie has nits?

Baby born at 10:11 on 12-13-14

Well, it's actually 13-12-14 to us over here. But still, Clare Elizabeth Keane's consecutive numerical birth time is pretty special.

On holding tightly and loving fiercely

We can't live in fear. This post is about Christmas and how at this time we should be celebrating life and grateful for what we have: our loved ones who we cherish fiercely.

Babies, relatives and coping with Christmas day

Everyone will love your baby but your baby may not be so happy to be passed around a lot of new people - nor may you want to feed with an audience.

Why I won't be posting pictures of my baby on Facebook

There are pros and cons to this policy.

The myths and truths of gender swaying

Here are a few popular methods hopeful parents-to-be use to try to get a baby of their preferred gender – and what an expert says about whether they really work.

10 easy DIY Christmas decoration ideas

It's officially time to get into the Christmas spirit. Why not branch out when you put up your tree this year and add a personal touch with a few DIY decorations? We've found the perfect easy-to-make ways to put more festive fever into your home.

The dangerous new trend of glucose challenge test refusal

A dangerous trend is seeing more mothers-to-be declining a relatively simple and painless test to check for gestational diabetes.

Office of Fair Trading reveals naughty toys ahead of Christmas

The Office of Fair Trading has pulled seven toys from shelves ahead of Christmas after they fail safety tests.

Video: Baby boy's trouble with twins

These twin girls will no doubt have fun fooling people in years to come, but nobody will be as confused as baby Landon.

Long-term reversible male contraceptive on its way

Men could soon have access to an injectable long-term contraceptive which works in a similar way to a vasectomy but promises to be easily reversed.

'I tried to kill my baby': one mum's story

After bathing and dressing her three-month-old son, Amanda had a rare moment alone with her baby.

Attack of the 'mummy brain'

I feel that almost every day, someone in my life - be they a friend, family member or complete stranger - feels the need to excuse my behaviour as I have other things on my mind.

Mum of baby who fell ill after drinking raw milk speaks out

A Melbourne mother has described how her son turned grey when he became seriously ill after drinking raw milk.

Australian divorce rate lowest since 1976

Modern newlyweds are now well into their 30s and marriage still offers something powerful a new book argues.

The aftermath of a traumatic birth experience

In Australia, 30 per cent of women find their birth experience traumatic, with 6 per cent going on to develop post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Young mum burns 'from inside-out'

A young mum is in intensive care after she took a friend's antibiotic and wound up with an ailment that is burning her body 'from the inside-out'.

The disagreement that can break a relationship

If he doesn't change his mind, all I can hope is that I will. It would be a waste to spend the rest of my marriage mourning a baby that never was.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Co-sleeping or no-sleeping? Mum videos worst nap ever

One mother's futile attempt to sleep in caught on camera in a hilarious - and very cute - video.

Why children misbehave during the festive season

While we all like to imagine the holiday season as being a fun, loving and bonding experience; often our reality is quiet different.

I was fat-shamed by my doctor

The fear of being weighed is the most significant factor in women cancelling medical appointments - and now weight-shaming has happened to me.

End of an era: no more childcare

As we reach the end of 2014, we're closing the book on many things for another year, most notably childcare. Our last child has attended childcare for the very last time.

WIN an exclusive performance from Sam Moran!

To celebrate the release of children?s musical series Play Along with Sam, out now on DVD, we?re giving one lucky parent the chance to have Sam perform at their child?s pre-school or day care!

The 7-year itch is more like the 10-year itch: study

Contrary to popular belief, making it past the seven-year mark doesn't mean your marriage will be smooth sailing from there on.

Should children be forced to sit on Santa's lap?

We teach kids it’s okay to say no if they don’t feel safe, so why do some parents force their children to climb in to Santa's lap?

Stop telling us that parenting gets harder

I’m sure that parenting will get harder. But life isn’t exactly smooth sailing for many of us right now, either.

Baby born weighing almost 14 pounds

Yes, the bouncing baby girl was born by caesarean section. And mum says no more kids.

The dummy debate

I'm the first to admit that when I used to see tiny babies with dummies in their mouths, I thought "Hmm, lazy parenting." And now I apologise.

'I thought I was an only child'

Imagine meeting your double at a school sports event, or regularly being mistaken for someone you haven't met. Separated twins Margaret and Joy tell their story.

Carers admit to force-feeding children

As Sydney grieves the loss of Sydney siege victims Katrina Dawson and Tori Johnson, reports have suggested that both died as heroes.

 

How many weeks til Christmas?

On your To-Do list

Get the "Santa" shopping done without the kids in tow.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.