Jump to content

Daycare Inapropriate Incident
*Warning - inapropriate sexual behaviour*


  • Please log in to reply
10 replies to this topic

#1 mousymousy

Posted 13 February 2013 - 08:26 AM

Old user going anon...


Well im currently in shock and do not quiet know how to write this but here goes.

On Monday i get a call from daycare saying that they need to talk to me and could I come into the office before i pick up my ds and dd.
I go in and i am told the following ....that a teacher caught another boy pulling my ds pants down and putting his penis in his mouth. When asked what happened my son responded with the boy had wanted to play a game - and the other boy didnt even have a response.  Im in shock about the whole thing including why didnt my son yell out straight away? he does normally consider this boy a good playmate so I dont know if he must have been convinced it was some sort of game? well the police and the government department were contacted by the daycare over the incident and i was told that they would be interviewing the other boy seperatly (without his parents) because this sort of behaviour can indicadate sexual assault.
This was on Monday and my son is due back at daycare on Friday, I dont know if I should be contacting the daycare to find out what is to happen to the other little boy, or should i contact the police directly?

Im not really thinking straight at the moment so please excuse this sounding like a ramble.  My heart is breaking for my son (though he seems fine and not traumatised - he just said he doesnt want to play with this boy anymore) and almost more so for the other child if he is been abused - im crying as I type.

So i guess im looking for what would you do in this situation answers? Btw the children are 4 years old and we are from SA if that helps.

#2 niggles

Posted 13 February 2013 - 08:35 AM

My guess is your son did think it was some sort of game. Exploring bodies at that age is possibly not very different to other types of exploration? Though of course it is worrying if it does indicate some signs of abuse in the other boy.

I hope your son bounces back. In your case I'd do some reading and / or chat with some professionals about protective behaviour so you can debrief this effectively with him and feel confident he feels safe in the future.

#3 GenWhy

Posted 13 February 2013 - 08:35 AM

At 4 years of age police will NOT interview the child separately and it will not be over criminal charges etc. It is more likely he will have sex assault police and an interview friend with him to ascertain if he is the victim of abuse at home. I would highly recommend talking to the police and a social worker who can get you victim support information and also refer you to a protective behaviours workshop.

Sorry you're going through this OP. Sometimes kids just do awful things in the name of curiosity.

#4 MummyLyss

Posted 13 February 2013 - 08:38 AM

ohmy.gif

I would probably start by calling the day care, though they may not be helpful. I'm not sure where privacy laws stand with this sort of thing. But I say call the day care and then speak to the police involved if need be. Good luck OP, I hope your son is ok!

ETA -- I agree with PP to find info on protective behaviors

Edited by MummyLyss, 13 February 2013 - 08:41 AM.


#5 Red nut

Posted 13 February 2013 - 08:41 AM

Have a talk to your son about boundaries, (this sounds like a great opportunity to do something we all should, but probably don't) but I'm sure he's fine.

The other child though.... I'm terribly concerned. But the appropriate people are on to it, so I don't think it's your responsibility to do anything further.

#6 Cat Burglar

Posted 13 February 2013 - 08:47 AM

Im pretty sure that the police / day care wont be able to tell you anything re: the other child as they are not allowed to if a child bites, for example.
So sorry this has happened to your DS and I hope it does turn out to be just a game and nothing more.

#7 qak

Posted 13 February 2013 - 08:48 AM

How awful, it would be distressing to hear this happened.  At the age of 4 I think you need to be mindful that to the kids these actions between them were innocent.

I suspect that the daycare (and police) will not be able to tell you about what is to happen to the other child, due to privacy and investigations.

I think you should be able to ask the day care how they will deal with the incident - do they want to separate the children, provide more supervision?

#8 hodgepodge

Posted 13 February 2013 - 09:02 AM

I too would contact the manager/director at the daycare centre and ask to catch up in person about the incident. Sometimes it is easier to get information face to face rather than over the phone.

We have a great book which was sponsored/supported by the QLD Health Dept called "Everyone Has A Bottom". It is a childrens book which we have found quite helpful while trying to teach our children about their body and what is appropriate & inappropriate behaivour.  It also has some great info in the back of the book for parents. This might help you to open up discussions with your son in a more relaxed way.

All the best to you and your family.

#9 SnazzyFeral

Posted 13 February 2013 - 09:04 AM

Have you called the kids help line? 1800 55 1800. They can help you with what to do now. Also you can call your local community health and they should be able to hook you up with some Counsellors who can help your family deal with this.

#10 Lightning_bug

Posted 13 February 2013 - 09:13 AM

OP, in NSW our childcare has a connection with the local police and they run an awareness program.

I was incredibly impressed with the way they approached the issue.  A booklet, a talk from a police officer on safety and games  to make them understand.

If you're interested contact the SA Police Community Relations Section (08) 7322 4027 and they may have something similar.

IMHO, I would seek advice on how to approach this.  Right now he just thinks it was a game and doesn't think anything of it.  If you start introducing the notion it was bad and shouldn't have happened it may well result in him feeling he did something bad...

Good luck OP.

Edited by Lightning_bug, 13 February 2013 - 09:15 AM.


#11 Chelli

Posted 13 February 2013 - 09:30 AM

I would ask to speak to a counsellor that the child care centre should have arranged. When a centre I know of went through a very similar incident, a counsellor was brought in to speak to all of the staff. They were then offered more counseling if they wished, and the counsellor was also made available for the families involved.

I too hope your DS is ok.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

How a baby can survive alone for days on end

The baby found abandoned in a Sydney drain may have been alone for up to six days without being fed, leaving many asking how he could have survived.

When it begins to look a lot like Christmas

A child's excitement at Christmas time is a beautiful thing, but one dad ponders whether his toddler daughter is getting into the festive mood a bit too soon.

Hospital lets dads the experience some of the pain of childbirth

A new experience is radically altering men's views of childbirth.

Italian doctors questioned over formula bribes

Italian police have placed 12 doctors under house arrest on suspicion of promoting baby milk formula over breastfeeding.

Heartwarming prank gives single mum the house she was hired to clean

Cara Simmons arrived at work to clean a large and beautiful house in time for a party planned for that evening. It was soon hers.

Those special moments of sibling bonding

Every now and then your child does or says something that is truly memorable.

Why we should stop telling new parents to 'enjoy every moment'

A few weeks ago, some dear friends of mine had their first baby. As the proud dad texted me a picture I had to fight the natural instinct to say “Enjoy every moment!”

Baby monitor footage posted online

Footage of Australian babies and children sleeping in their bedrooms are among the images on a Russian site showing live feeds from thousands of homes and businesses around the world.

Did this new dad really hit on his wife's midwife?

Was there really a man who was actually there by his wife’s side as she laboured and gave birth to his child, all while he was making what he perceived to be meaningful eye contact with a midwife?

Keep calm and ignore the Tantrum Trolls

Tantrum Trolls are a small but growing species of predatory bottom-feeders who delight in picking on parents at their most vulnerable.

It's okay to never 'get over' the death of a loved one

The death of children, siblings, and parents has long term impacts on the rest of our lives.

What Mark Latham needs to know about depression and motherhood

In a bizarre bid for relevancy, Former Opposition leader Mark Latham has deduced that because one female journalist had this week light-heartedly thanked antidepressants and caffeine for getting her through a medical degree while raising two small children, that ergo, all 'inner-city feminists' are selfish harridans who despise their offspring.

'We're just trying to keep our child alive': life with FPIES

We have a beautiful seven-month-old son, and his allergy rules our life.

Transgender dad breastfeeds his babies

A transgender man who breastfed his first baby - despite having his breasts removed as part of his transformation from female to male - has now had a second child.

Couple face $1 million medical bill and bankruptcy after babymoon birth

A Canadian couple were slammed with a million dollar medical bill after their daughter was prematurely during their babymoon.

Win one of 5 Little Tikes Cozy Coupe Sport

Australia?s No 1 selling car is now available in a Sports model and we have 5 to give away to some lucky Essential Baby families.

Cigarettes, junk food dominate supermarket sales growth

One in every five dollars spent at supermarkets goes on cigarettes or junk food, according to industry data.

Teacher under fire for breastfeeding in class

There is no doubt mums have a right to continue breastfeeding after they have returned to work, but one teacher in the US has taken it to the extreme.

Video: Baby sniffs beardless dad to make sure it's him

She looks him up and down and then touches his chin, but baby Lindsey still isn't sure this clean-shaven man is her dad.

The tragedy of losing a favourite teddy bear

We were green and uninitiated, perhaps a little naïve when it came to the favourite toy responsibility.

It's possible to workout while pregnant

Medical experts say intense fitness routines can be done safely during pregnancy - if the mums-to-be follow some guidelines.

Baby for Asher Keddie and Vincent Fantauzzo

Fans followed every step of her on-screen pregnancy in Offspring, now Asher Keddie is going to be a mum in real life too.

What parents really want for their kids

Are our hopes, dreams and expectations for our children what they really need?

'I had a feeling something was seriously wrong': the fight for Kaden's diagnosis

Before even giving birth, Katie Myers' maternal instincts warned her something was wrong with her baby.

Win a family pass to Disney Live!

We have 4 family passes to give away to see Disney Live! presents Three Classic Fairy Tales, touring Australia this December/January.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win one of 5 Little Tikes Cozy Coupe Sport

Australia?s No 1 selling car is now available in a Sports model and we have 5 to give away to some lucky Essential Baby families.

Join PADDINGTON on the red carpet!

To celebrate the release of PADDINGTON, we are giving five lucky winners the chance to win a family pass to the exclusive Australian Premiere in Sydney on December 7!

When your pregnancy causes a relationship rift

Some dads-to-be don't miss a beat when their partner is pregnant; others struggle with a range of issues and can become withdrawn, right when their support is needed most.

Couple uses group photo trick to announce pregnancy to loved ones

Katharine and Kris Camilli devised a clever trick to immortalise their family and friends' reactions to their exciting pregnancy news.

Why Tracey Spicer has given up make-up

"After 30 years on television, I had become what I despised: a painted doll who spent an hour a day and close to $200 a week putting on a mask."

Knowing you are one of the lucky ones

I am secure, confident and strong, but the responsibility of protecting my children can almost bring me undone.

Why I am so emotional now I have kids?

There are so many ways in which parenthood changes us as women, but one of the most noticeable, for me, has been the changing state of my emotions.

Baby survives despite sharing womb with 'foreign body'

Baby Maia was conceived against the odds, only to find she was sharing a womb with an ominous "foreign body".

Video: Baby shows dog how to jump - or vice versa

They say dog is man's best friend, but this playful pooch seems to have chosen a jumping baby as her number one buddy.

10 ways to soothe a crying baby

New paernts can get frustrated when their newborn gets fussy and can't settle down. When you're feeling overwhelmed, try some of these simple tips to help soothe your baby.

20 baby names that are becoming more popular every year

The data-lovers at nameberry.com have been at it again – this time, they’ve discovered the names that are continually rising up the ranks, ready to take out some top spots in the next few years.

10 great meals to make for new parents

Ideally, you want to give food that isn’t expensive to make, isn't too difficult to create, and freezes well; stews, bakes, soups and pasta sauces are perfect.

'It's not you, it's me': Boston bombing survivor mum to have leg amputated

Rebekah DiMartino is going through a break-up. She even wrote a farewell love letter. But it's not to her husband.

What it's like to go through early menopause

In a cruel twist, Carla had been breastfeeding and perimenopausal at the same time. But she's far from the only one to go through menopause early.

Weird pregnancy products

Some pregnancy products come to market and are just awesome. Others just leave you scratching your head.

Restaurant served alcohol to two-year-old

Busy restaurants can be forgiven for getting food and drink orders mixed up from time to time, but not when the confusion leads to a two-year-old being served an alcoholic cocktail instead of the child-friendly beverage they ordered.

Julia Morris tells of miscarriage on a flight

Julia Morris has spoken about the devastation of suffering a miscarriage while on an international flight.

Woman's survival after birth 'a story of two miracles'

A US mother is home and tending to her new baby less than a month after surviving without a pulse for 45 minutes.

Best maternity swimwear and beach cover-ups

Thinking about a tropical babymoon but have nothing to wear? Here are some great swimwear and beach cover-up options for mums-to-be.

Metal shards hidden in playground

Pieces of sharp metal have been seemingly deliberately placed in rubber matting and across equipment at a kids' playground.

 

How many weeks til Christmas?

On your To-Do list

Get the "Santa" shopping done without the kids in tow.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.