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Generosity of parents


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#1 FeralBee

Posted 12 February 2013 - 04:06 PM

For background, my husband has been battling severe obstructive sleep apnoea for some time now, but it was only diagnosed. He's a level 8-9 out of 10, and surgery is the only option (actually three surgeries in one). We're lucky that he's young enough that any damage to his heart will be entirely reversed once the apnoea is fixed.

The specialist wanted to get him into surgery asap, but we had only recently joined up with private health insurance, so had to wait about eight months, or 12 months for the public sector. We're still 2 months away from that private health insurance date, and things are getting worse and worse. My husband has cut back to part time work, and even that he's having trouble with. His memory and concentration are shot, he's tired all the time and he has depression and anxiety that is thought to be largely caused by the lack of oxygen/restorative sleep from the apnoea.

Today he got the results of blood tests to check for anything else that could be causing issues, and it all came back completely clean - there's nothing we can do until the surgery happens. He was looking at leaving his job, which he loves and which has been so, so supportive through this, and applying for Centrelink because he just can't function.

Luckily I'm the higher income earner, but it was still going to be a financial setback, since I am in no way rich!

In step both sets of parents who offer to fund the surgery up front so that he can get in ASAP, meaning that instead of 3 months out of action (including the expected 1 month recovery time) he will only be out for 1 month. We both cried when we found out! It's just such a relief to know that we can resolve all his health issues sooner rather than later, especially when we're preparing for a baby in roughly 7 months!

While we definitely plan to pay them back the money for the surgery (no matter what our parents say!), there are just no words to express how grateful we are for them giving us this chance to get our lives back on track.

The surgery and recovery will likely be difficult for Mr, and I'm hoping my morning sickness clears soon so that I can look after him the way he's been looking after me, but whatever happens now, things are really looking up.

#2 ~sydblue~

Posted 12 February 2013 - 04:10 PM

Yay and hugs for both sets of parents. Hope the surgery goes well and he is back to normal in no time.

#3 kpingitquiet

Posted 12 February 2013 - 04:12 PM

Good job, parents! I wish your husband all the best. I hope he feels a whole lot better very soon and that you do too.

#4 Copper and May

Posted 12 February 2013 - 04:17 PM

Families stick together and help each other. bbighug.gif

#5 Bwok~Bwok

Posted 12 February 2013 - 04:20 PM

Yay to the parents!

Can I ask what he is having done - I had surgery for OSA 2 years ago.

#6 FeralBee

Posted 12 February 2013 - 04:27 PM

Thank you everyone! I'm so happy, I'm still teary over it!

QUOTE (Winterdanceparty @ 12/02/2013, 02:17 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Families stick together and help each other. bbighug.gif


They do, but I know not everyone is as lucky as we are to have that kind of emotional and financial support. I feel so blessed right now!

QUOTE (Bwok~Bwok @ 12/02/2013, 02:20 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Can I ask what he is having done - I had surgery for OSA 2 years ago.


He has really big tonsils (you know what they say about a man with big tonsils...) so those are coming out, they're widening one of his nasal passages which he damaged in a disagreement with his mum's exercise trampoline as a child, and a third surgery - I think they planned to remove some more tissue from his throat, but I'm not totally clear on the third one. We're waiting on the paperwork detailing exactly what they plan to do.

They believe that these surgeries will take him from a level 8-9 to a 1-2, if not get rid of it altogether. They'll re-test his sleep after he's recovered to see if there are any other issues, such as Central Sleep Apnoea.

#7 Bwok~Bwok

Posted 12 February 2013 - 05:13 PM

I'm assuming it will be the UPPP surgery (Uvulopalatopharyngoplasty) make sure you research this alot.

Reason I say this is because if the surgery doesn't correct the OSA there is a chance the CPAP machine won't work on him because of the surgery - like myself.

#8 FeralBee

Posted 12 February 2013 - 06:03 PM

Hi Bwok~Bwok, thank you so much for that information. We'll have to look at what they're proposing and ask some questions about that one - from what I've been told it does sound like that's part of the plan. They do believe that his apnoea is all or primarily obstructive, so it may be worth going ahead with that one, but we'll make sure to make an informed decision.

Out of interest, did you have that surgery and did it fix everything? Did you have any element of CSA as well as OSA? I hope that you're doing heaps better now, apnoea is pretty scary with some serious impacts on your health!

#9 Natbub0610

Posted 12 February 2013 - 06:33 PM

OMG  ddance.gif

Something that could be so simple a gesture but means so much in sincerity and generosity!! and BOTH sets of parents!!

That's unconditional love and it's what you learn to pass on to your children and family too!!

Good luck, hope all goes well


#10 Lagom

Posted 12 February 2013 - 06:46 PM

You are so lucky to have such caring and generous parents.  original.gif

DH recently had surgery for OSA and it's made an incredible difference to our lives.  I know it doesn't always work out (sorry about your experience Bwok Bwok) but in our case it's been great.  No more snoring and a DH who isn't grumpy and lifeless (and constantly ill!).

Best of luck!

#11 FeralBee

Posted 12 February 2013 - 06:52 PM

QUOTE (Natbub0610 @ 12/02/2013, 04:33 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
That's unconditional love and it's what you learn to pass on to your children and family too!!


You are absolutely right! It was just this morning that I read this article about parental estrangement, so I'm feeling so overwhelmed to have so much love in our lives. And that is definitely how we want to raise our children too.

Amabanana (great name!) it is so good to hear of the difference it made to your DH! I'm so glad. My husband's been sick on and off for so long, and struggling so much in his career, it's a relief to know that it will (well, should) all be over soon.

#12 Bwok~Bwok

Posted 12 February 2013 - 07:13 PM

QUOTE (SqueakyBee @ 12/02/2013, 07:03 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Hi Bwok~Bwok, thank you so much for that information. We'll have to look at what they're proposing and ask some questions about that one - from what I've been told it does sound like that's part of the plan. They do believe that his apnoea is all or primarily obstructive, so it may be worth going ahead with that one, but we'll make sure to make an informed decision.

Out of interest, did you have that surgery and did it fix everything? Did you have any element of CSA as well as OSA? I hope that you're doing heaps better now, apnoea is pretty scary with some serious impacts on your health!


To make a really long story short - I snored my whole life, as I got older it got worse, to the point I was too embarrassed to sleep anywhere but at home.

2005 - Saw an ENT specialist who performed the UPPP surgery, this was done without a sleep study and no investigations other than looking in my nose (this is where it went wrong). But it stopped the snoring noise!

Fast forward to 2007/2008 - New DP and he mention's I am making weird noises when I sleep and the reason I would find myself sleeping in an upright position (did this in my sleep) is because I was making choking noises beforehand. I get referred to a Respritory Specialist. First thing he does is a sleep study. Comes back I have Aponea - after Xrays/camera's etc it reveals that my tongue/jaw is set to far back narrowing my airway. 4 months of using the CPAP machine and failing each time is because I can't create the seal between my uvula and tongue as I have no Uvula it was removed with the UPPP - the air was escaping out my mouth and not opening the airway like it was.

Fitted with braces in 2008 to prepare for Jaw surgery. 2010 I had upper/lower jaw surgery, Genioplasty and Turbinectomy - put simply, I had half my face moved forward to open the airway.

Basically, if the orginal surgeon had of done a simple sleep study and investigated it further he would have found it was Obstructive and the CPAP machine would have worked. (my respritory specialist wants me to take this matter further )

I don't mean to say this to scare you, but if the UPPP stops the snoring, still have a sleep study to confirm the aponea has been corrected. Also ask what is causing the obstruction as well - it may be an easy fix IYKWIM Even though it was shown with me that I had a narrow airway, the CPAP machine would have worked by opening it up when I slept.

GL with everything original.gif

ETA: The jaw surgery wasn't without complications. I now how permanent Eustachian Tube Dysfunction - I get loss of hearing when I don't have grommets in as I can't correct the pressure in my ears and will need them replaced everytime they fall out.

Edited by Bwok~Bwok, 12 February 2013 - 07:20 PM.


#13 FeralBee

Posted 12 February 2013 - 07:51 PM

Jeepers, what an ordeal! I am so sorry you had to go through all of that, it was really shoddy of the original specialist to not do a sleep study.

My husband's already had a sleep study, and it is either primarily or completely obstructive - there weren't signs of CSA when he did the study, so I think the follow up sleep study after surgery is just to make sure that it has made enough of a difference.

Basically, a CPAP won't work for him, the surgery is the first step (where for most cases it is a last resort) and they believe it will either cure it, or drastically improve his condition.

But thank you for sharing your story - we've had experience with doctors who don't look closely enough at things before making a diagnosis, and it's scary to think of what the consequences of that can be.

#14 Therese

Posted 14 February 2013 - 10:33 AM

What a wonderful thing your parents have done for you both. I hope it all goes well.




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