Jump to content

Generosity of parents


  • Please log in to reply
13 replies to this topic

#1 FeralBee

Posted 12 February 2013 - 04:06 PM

For background, my husband has been battling severe obstructive sleep apnoea for some time now, but it was only diagnosed. He's a level 8-9 out of 10, and surgery is the only option (actually three surgeries in one). We're lucky that he's young enough that any damage to his heart will be entirely reversed once the apnoea is fixed.

The specialist wanted to get him into surgery asap, but we had only recently joined up with private health insurance, so had to wait about eight months, or 12 months for the public sector. We're still 2 months away from that private health insurance date, and things are getting worse and worse. My husband has cut back to part time work, and even that he's having trouble with. His memory and concentration are shot, he's tired all the time and he has depression and anxiety that is thought to be largely caused by the lack of oxygen/restorative sleep from the apnoea.

Today he got the results of blood tests to check for anything else that could be causing issues, and it all came back completely clean - there's nothing we can do until the surgery happens. He was looking at leaving his job, which he loves and which has been so, so supportive through this, and applying for Centrelink because he just can't function.

Luckily I'm the higher income earner, but it was still going to be a financial setback, since I am in no way rich!

In step both sets of parents who offer to fund the surgery up front so that he can get in ASAP, meaning that instead of 3 months out of action (including the expected 1 month recovery time) he will only be out for 1 month. We both cried when we found out! It's just such a relief to know that we can resolve all his health issues sooner rather than later, especially when we're preparing for a baby in roughly 7 months!

While we definitely plan to pay them back the money for the surgery (no matter what our parents say!), there are just no words to express how grateful we are for them giving us this chance to get our lives back on track.

The surgery and recovery will likely be difficult for Mr, and I'm hoping my morning sickness clears soon so that I can look after him the way he's been looking after me, but whatever happens now, things are really looking up.

#2 ~sydblue~

Posted 12 February 2013 - 04:10 PM

Yay and hugs for both sets of parents. Hope the surgery goes well and he is back to normal in no time.

#3 kpingitquiet

Posted 12 February 2013 - 04:12 PM

Good job, parents! I wish your husband all the best. I hope he feels a whole lot better very soon and that you do too.

#4 Sassenach2

Posted 12 February 2013 - 04:17 PM

Families stick together and help each other. bbighug.gif

#5 Bwok~Bwok

Posted 12 February 2013 - 04:20 PM

Yay to the parents!

Can I ask what he is having done - I had surgery for OSA 2 years ago.

#6 FeralBee

Posted 12 February 2013 - 04:27 PM

Thank you everyone! I'm so happy, I'm still teary over it!

QUOTE (Winterdanceparty @ 12/02/2013, 02:17 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Families stick together and help each other. bbighug.gif


They do, but I know not everyone is as lucky as we are to have that kind of emotional and financial support. I feel so blessed right now!

QUOTE (Bwok~Bwok @ 12/02/2013, 02:20 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Can I ask what he is having done - I had surgery for OSA 2 years ago.


He has really big tonsils (you know what they say about a man with big tonsils...) so those are coming out, they're widening one of his nasal passages which he damaged in a disagreement with his mum's exercise trampoline as a child, and a third surgery - I think they planned to remove some more tissue from his throat, but I'm not totally clear on the third one. We're waiting on the paperwork detailing exactly what they plan to do.

They believe that these surgeries will take him from a level 8-9 to a 1-2, if not get rid of it altogether. They'll re-test his sleep after he's recovered to see if there are any other issues, such as Central Sleep Apnoea.

#7 Bwok~Bwok

Posted 12 February 2013 - 05:13 PM

I'm assuming it will be the UPPP surgery (Uvulopalatopharyngoplasty) make sure you research this alot.

Reason I say this is because if the surgery doesn't correct the OSA there is a chance the CPAP machine won't work on him because of the surgery - like myself.

#8 FeralBee

Posted 12 February 2013 - 06:03 PM

Hi Bwok~Bwok, thank you so much for that information. We'll have to look at what they're proposing and ask some questions about that one - from what I've been told it does sound like that's part of the plan. They do believe that his apnoea is all or primarily obstructive, so it may be worth going ahead with that one, but we'll make sure to make an informed decision.

Out of interest, did you have that surgery and did it fix everything? Did you have any element of CSA as well as OSA? I hope that you're doing heaps better now, apnoea is pretty scary with some serious impacts on your health!

#9 Natbub0610

Posted 12 February 2013 - 06:33 PM

OMG  ddance.gif

Something that could be so simple a gesture but means so much in sincerity and generosity!! and BOTH sets of parents!!

That's unconditional love and it's what you learn to pass on to your children and family too!!

Good luck, hope all goes well


#10 Lagom

Posted 12 February 2013 - 06:46 PM

You are so lucky to have such caring and generous parents.  original.gif

DH recently had surgery for OSA and it's made an incredible difference to our lives.  I know it doesn't always work out (sorry about your experience Bwok Bwok) but in our case it's been great.  No more snoring and a DH who isn't grumpy and lifeless (and constantly ill!).

Best of luck!

#11 FeralBee

Posted 12 February 2013 - 06:52 PM

QUOTE (Natbub0610 @ 12/02/2013, 04:33 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
That's unconditional love and it's what you learn to pass on to your children and family too!!


You are absolutely right! It was just this morning that I read this article about parental estrangement, so I'm feeling so overwhelmed to have so much love in our lives. And that is definitely how we want to raise our children too.

Amabanana (great name!) it is so good to hear of the difference it made to your DH! I'm so glad. My husband's been sick on and off for so long, and struggling so much in his career, it's a relief to know that it will (well, should) all be over soon.

#12 Bwok~Bwok

Posted 12 February 2013 - 07:13 PM

QUOTE (SqueakyBee @ 12/02/2013, 07:03 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Hi Bwok~Bwok, thank you so much for that information. We'll have to look at what they're proposing and ask some questions about that one - from what I've been told it does sound like that's part of the plan. They do believe that his apnoea is all or primarily obstructive, so it may be worth going ahead with that one, but we'll make sure to make an informed decision.

Out of interest, did you have that surgery and did it fix everything? Did you have any element of CSA as well as OSA? I hope that you're doing heaps better now, apnoea is pretty scary with some serious impacts on your health!


To make a really long story short - I snored my whole life, as I got older it got worse, to the point I was too embarrassed to sleep anywhere but at home.

2005 - Saw an ENT specialist who performed the UPPP surgery, this was done without a sleep study and no investigations other than looking in my nose (this is where it went wrong). But it stopped the snoring noise!

Fast forward to 2007/2008 - New DP and he mention's I am making weird noises when I sleep and the reason I would find myself sleeping in an upright position (did this in my sleep) is because I was making choking noises beforehand. I get referred to a Respritory Specialist. First thing he does is a sleep study. Comes back I have Aponea - after Xrays/camera's etc it reveals that my tongue/jaw is set to far back narrowing my airway. 4 months of using the CPAP machine and failing each time is because I can't create the seal between my uvula and tongue as I have no Uvula it was removed with the UPPP - the air was escaping out my mouth and not opening the airway like it was.

Fitted with braces in 2008 to prepare for Jaw surgery. 2010 I had upper/lower jaw surgery, Genioplasty and Turbinectomy - put simply, I had half my face moved forward to open the airway.

Basically, if the orginal surgeon had of done a simple sleep study and investigated it further he would have found it was Obstructive and the CPAP machine would have worked. (my respritory specialist wants me to take this matter further )

I don't mean to say this to scare you, but if the UPPP stops the snoring, still have a sleep study to confirm the aponea has been corrected. Also ask what is causing the obstruction as well - it may be an easy fix IYKWIM Even though it was shown with me that I had a narrow airway, the CPAP machine would have worked by opening it up when I slept.

GL with everything original.gif

ETA: The jaw surgery wasn't without complications. I now how permanent Eustachian Tube Dysfunction - I get loss of hearing when I don't have grommets in as I can't correct the pressure in my ears and will need them replaced everytime they fall out.

Edited by Bwok~Bwok, 12 February 2013 - 07:20 PM.


#13 FeralBee

Posted 12 February 2013 - 07:51 PM

Jeepers, what an ordeal! I am so sorry you had to go through all of that, it was really shoddy of the original specialist to not do a sleep study.

My husband's already had a sleep study, and it is either primarily or completely obstructive - there weren't signs of CSA when he did the study, so I think the follow up sleep study after surgery is just to make sure that it has made enough of a difference.

Basically, a CPAP won't work for him, the surgery is the first step (where for most cases it is a last resort) and they believe it will either cure it, or drastically improve his condition.

But thank you for sharing your story - we've had experience with doctors who don't look closely enough at things before making a diagnosis, and it's scary to think of what the consequences of that can be.

#14 Therese

Posted 14 February 2013 - 10:33 AM

What a wonderful thing your parents have done for you both. I hope it all goes well.




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

The popular baby name from the Rio Olympics

"With a pair of athletes who are not only successful, but seen as great role models – combined with a softer sound – it is like hitting the jackpot."

Toy stuck in baby's throat for two weeks

When Jude Atiga's baby son Laith was struggling to breathe the worried mum called an ambulance.

Mum awarded $20 million over birth power struggle with nurses

As a mother of three, Caroline Malatesta thought she knew what she was letting herself in for when it came to the birth of her fourth baby.

Win a Baby Jogger City Premier for Father's Day

To celebrate Father's Day, one lucky EB fan will win one of their own! Enter Now!

'There's a giant picture of BOOBS but I can not feed my child'

A mum was ushered out of an US department store's underwear section after discreetly breastfeeding her baby.

Why fatherhood scares many dads-to-be

Travis Bull vividly remembers discovering his partner was pregnant for the first time.

Free ticket offer

Pinky Mckay joins us again at the Essential Baby & Toddler Show presented by Blackmores with her expert baby settling advice. Register now for your free ticket.

Warning for pregnant women as flu-related deaths triple

A more than three-fold increase in flu-related deaths has sparked a plea for those with the flu to stay away from vulnerable people.

I'm trying to keep my child-free friends in my life, but it's tough

I tried to prove to my single friends that I was the same I'd always been. But marriage did change me - and motherhood has, too

For the festival lover in all of us

Pre-book & Save 50%. Get your tickets now for Kidtopia Festival. 7-9 October 2016 Parramatta Park, Sydney.

Too many parents still putting babies in unsafe bedding: study

A study found that a whopping 91 per cent of four-week-old babies had been placed in cots with unsafe bedding.

Mum's shock as toddler fat-shamed by internet trolls

When a mother uploaded a cute photograph of her 14-month old child online, she did not expect a swarm of internet trolls to write that her toddler was fat.

How an Aldi staff member made one exhausted mum's day

It was a simple act of kindness, but one that made an exhausted mother's day.

The most awww-worthy celeb baby pics of the week

It's been a pretty cute week on Instagram in terms of celebs relishing their babies.

When 'Just Do It' just doesn't cut it

When even Michelle Bridges admits to struggling with her exercise regime, it's time to accept that having small children can be a legitimate reason for exercise not happening.

What life is really like when you have five kids

Life is cute with one, manageable with three, but at times completely impossible with five.

When no one can pronounce your baby's name

In Wales it's a common name, but over here, it's cause for some confusion.

Dad shares horror tale after Roomba's run-in with dog poop

It's the poop story that's been shared hundreds of thousands of times around the world.

How a homemade wheelchair is giving baby Evelyn freedom

Like all one-year-olds, Evelyn Moore is keen to get moving and explore the world around her. But a battle with aggressive cancer left the little girl paralysed from the waist down.

Single to double pram that folds with seat attached

A pram is a large purchase, and you only want to buy once.

Mum-to-be surprises husband with big news in joy-filled photoshoot

When Bri Dow learnt that she was expecting, she immediately knew she wanted to break the news to her husband Brandon in a special way.

Blake Lively: 'Post-pregnancy slim down pressure is so unfair'

Blake Lively has urged women not to feel pressured to lose weight after pregnancy.

 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Articles

Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

For the festival lover in all of us

Pre-book & Save 50%. Get your tickets now for Kidtopia Festival. 7-9 October 2016 Parramatta Park, Sydney.

Why drinking water can be deadly for babies

H2O is one of the necessities of life, but for babies a seemingly harmless amount of water can be fatal.

5 ways having a baby is different when you have older children

So much parenting advice is geared towards having your first baby, but what's it like having a baby when you already have children?

You can now make your own plush Falkor

Fans of The NeverEnding Story – of which there are certainly plenty – went crazy for these plush Falkors when they first went on sale last year.

Baby steps

10 things that will actually happen after having a baby

I thought I had prepared myself for motherhood. Then my baby girl arrived and knocked everything flat.

Having a baby: expectations vs reality

People love to warn you about what to expect when having a baby, but they can be way off when it comes to the reality.

Are we having fun yet? Thinking positively as a parent

Motherhood is wonderful ... except when it sucks.

The adorable smile of a baby seeing his mum clearly for the first time

There is no doubt seeing their child smile for the first time is an unforgettable moment for parents everywhere.

When breastfeeding doesn't go with the flow

Breast is best, except when it's not. And in our case, it most definitely wasn't.

'If you don't vaccinate your kids you're a bloody idiot'

The photos are heartbreaking and almost too difficult to look at, but Kayley Burke is begging other parents to take notice.

Why pregnant women should eat chocolate

In news that will make expectant mums jump for joy - and reach for a block of Cadbury - scientists have revealed chocolate could provide health benefits during pregnancy.

The baby born with an incredible head of hair

If you're in any way challenged in the follicle department, prepare to feel a jolt of envy - at a two-month-old baby.

The push for Medicare to fund lactation consultants

While meeting with a lactation consultant can make an enormous difference to a new mother, it's not a service that is available through the public health system.

Parents, this is how to cut grapes to avoid choking

One mum has learnt a harrowing lesson about the best way to cut grapes to make it safe for toddlers and little kids to eat.

Three truths about C-section mums

Lately I've been thinking about the caesarean stories and the brave women who birth their children with strength and beauty.

Help! My baby will only sleep in my arms

It's stressful to be the one who is holding your baby most of the day, but it's even more stressful to wonder, 'am I doing something wrong? Or am I creating bad habits?'

 

ENTER NOW

Win one of two Father's Day Gift Packs

Sign up to receive our new Essential Kids announcements emails for a chance to win.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.