Jump to content

Generosity of parents


  • Please log in to reply
13 replies to this topic

#1 FeralSqueakyBee

Posted 12 February 2013 - 04:06 PM

For background, my husband has been battling severe obstructive sleep apnoea for some time now, but it was only diagnosed. He's a level 8-9 out of 10, and surgery is the only option (actually three surgeries in one). We're lucky that he's young enough that any damage to his heart will be entirely reversed once the apnoea is fixed.

The specialist wanted to get him into surgery asap, but we had only recently joined up with private health insurance, so had to wait about eight months, or 12 months for the public sector. We're still 2 months away from that private health insurance date, and things are getting worse and worse. My husband has cut back to part time work, and even that he's having trouble with. His memory and concentration are shot, he's tired all the time and he has depression and anxiety that is thought to be largely caused by the lack of oxygen/restorative sleep from the apnoea.

Today he got the results of blood tests to check for anything else that could be causing issues, and it all came back completely clean - there's nothing we can do until the surgery happens. He was looking at leaving his job, which he loves and which has been so, so supportive through this, and applying for Centrelink because he just can't function.

Luckily I'm the higher income earner, but it was still going to be a financial setback, since I am in no way rich!

In step both sets of parents who offer to fund the surgery up front so that he can get in ASAP, meaning that instead of 3 months out of action (including the expected 1 month recovery time) he will only be out for 1 month. We both cried when we found out! It's just such a relief to know that we can resolve all his health issues sooner rather than later, especially when we're preparing for a baby in roughly 7 months!

While we definitely plan to pay them back the money for the surgery (no matter what our parents say!), there are just no words to express how grateful we are for them giving us this chance to get our lives back on track.

The surgery and recovery will likely be difficult for Mr, and I'm hoping my morning sickness clears soon so that I can look after him the way he's been looking after me, but whatever happens now, things are really looking up.

#2 ~sydblue~

Posted 12 February 2013 - 04:10 PM

Yay and hugs for both sets of parents. Hope the surgery goes well and he is back to normal in no time.

#3 kpingitquiet

Posted 12 February 2013 - 04:12 PM

Good job, parents! I wish your husband all the best. I hope he feels a whole lot better very soon and that you do too.

#4 CharliMarley

Posted 12 February 2013 - 04:17 PM

Families stick together and help each other. bbighug.gif

#5 Bwok~Bwok

Posted 12 February 2013 - 04:20 PM

Yay to the parents!

Can I ask what he is having done - I had surgery for OSA 2 years ago.

#6 FeralSqueakyBee

Posted 12 February 2013 - 04:27 PM

Thank you everyone! I'm so happy, I'm still teary over it!

QUOTE (Winterdanceparty @ 12/02/2013, 02:17 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Families stick together and help each other. bbighug.gif


They do, but I know not everyone is as lucky as we are to have that kind of emotional and financial support. I feel so blessed right now!

QUOTE (Bwok~Bwok @ 12/02/2013, 02:20 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Can I ask what he is having done - I had surgery for OSA 2 years ago.


He has really big tonsils (you know what they say about a man with big tonsils...) so those are coming out, they're widening one of his nasal passages which he damaged in a disagreement with his mum's exercise trampoline as a child, and a third surgery - I think they planned to remove some more tissue from his throat, but I'm not totally clear on the third one. We're waiting on the paperwork detailing exactly what they plan to do.

They believe that these surgeries will take him from a level 8-9 to a 1-2, if not get rid of it altogether. They'll re-test his sleep after he's recovered to see if there are any other issues, such as Central Sleep Apnoea.

#7 Bwok~Bwok

Posted 12 February 2013 - 05:13 PM

I'm assuming it will be the UPPP surgery (Uvulopalatopharyngoplasty) make sure you research this alot.

Reason I say this is because if the surgery doesn't correct the OSA there is a chance the CPAP machine won't work on him because of the surgery - like myself.

#8 FeralSqueakyBee

Posted 12 February 2013 - 06:03 PM

Hi Bwok~Bwok, thank you so much for that information. We'll have to look at what they're proposing and ask some questions about that one - from what I've been told it does sound like that's part of the plan. They do believe that his apnoea is all or primarily obstructive, so it may be worth going ahead with that one, but we'll make sure to make an informed decision.

Out of interest, did you have that surgery and did it fix everything? Did you have any element of CSA as well as OSA? I hope that you're doing heaps better now, apnoea is pretty scary with some serious impacts on your health!

#9 Natbub0610

Posted 12 February 2013 - 06:33 PM

OMG  ddance.gif

Something that could be so simple a gesture but means so much in sincerity and generosity!! and BOTH sets of parents!!

That's unconditional love and it's what you learn to pass on to your children and family too!!

Good luck, hope all goes well


#10 amabanana

Posted 12 February 2013 - 06:46 PM

You are so lucky to have such caring and generous parents.  original.gif

DH recently had surgery for OSA and it's made an incredible difference to our lives.  I know it doesn't always work out (sorry about your experience Bwok Bwok) but in our case it's been great.  No more snoring and a DH who isn't grumpy and lifeless (and constantly ill!).

Best of luck!

#11 FeralSqueakyBee

Posted 12 February 2013 - 06:52 PM

QUOTE (Natbub0610 @ 12/02/2013, 04:33 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
That's unconditional love and it's what you learn to pass on to your children and family too!!


You are absolutely right! It was just this morning that I read this article about parental estrangement, so I'm feeling so overwhelmed to have so much love in our lives. And that is definitely how we want to raise our children too.

Amabanana (great name!) it is so good to hear of the difference it made to your DH! I'm so glad. My husband's been sick on and off for so long, and struggling so much in his career, it's a relief to know that it will (well, should) all be over soon.

#12 Bwok~Bwok

Posted 12 February 2013 - 07:13 PM

QUOTE (SqueakyBee @ 12/02/2013, 07:03 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Hi Bwok~Bwok, thank you so much for that information. We'll have to look at what they're proposing and ask some questions about that one - from what I've been told it does sound like that's part of the plan. They do believe that his apnoea is all or primarily obstructive, so it may be worth going ahead with that one, but we'll make sure to make an informed decision.

Out of interest, did you have that surgery and did it fix everything? Did you have any element of CSA as well as OSA? I hope that you're doing heaps better now, apnoea is pretty scary with some serious impacts on your health!


To make a really long story short - I snored my whole life, as I got older it got worse, to the point I was too embarrassed to sleep anywhere but at home.

2005 - Saw an ENT specialist who performed the UPPP surgery, this was done without a sleep study and no investigations other than looking in my nose (this is where it went wrong). But it stopped the snoring noise!

Fast forward to 2007/2008 - New DP and he mention's I am making weird noises when I sleep and the reason I would find myself sleeping in an upright position (did this in my sleep) is because I was making choking noises beforehand. I get referred to a Respritory Specialist. First thing he does is a sleep study. Comes back I have Aponea - after Xrays/camera's etc it reveals that my tongue/jaw is set to far back narrowing my airway. 4 months of using the CPAP machine and failing each time is because I can't create the seal between my uvula and tongue as I have no Uvula it was removed with the UPPP - the air was escaping out my mouth and not opening the airway like it was.

Fitted with braces in 2008 to prepare for Jaw surgery. 2010 I had upper/lower jaw surgery, Genioplasty and Turbinectomy - put simply, I had half my face moved forward to open the airway.

Basically, if the orginal surgeon had of done a simple sleep study and investigated it further he would have found it was Obstructive and the CPAP machine would have worked. (my respritory specialist wants me to take this matter further )

I don't mean to say this to scare you, but if the UPPP stops the snoring, still have a sleep study to confirm the aponea has been corrected. Also ask what is causing the obstruction as well - it may be an easy fix IYKWIM Even though it was shown with me that I had a narrow airway, the CPAP machine would have worked by opening it up when I slept.

GL with everything original.gif

ETA: The jaw surgery wasn't without complications. I now how permanent Eustachian Tube Dysfunction - I get loss of hearing when I don't have grommets in as I can't correct the pressure in my ears and will need them replaced everytime they fall out.

Edited by Bwok~Bwok, 12 February 2013 - 07:20 PM.


#13 FeralSqueakyBee

Posted 12 February 2013 - 07:51 PM

Jeepers, what an ordeal! I am so sorry you had to go through all of that, it was really shoddy of the original specialist to not do a sleep study.

My husband's already had a sleep study, and it is either primarily or completely obstructive - there weren't signs of CSA when he did the study, so I think the follow up sleep study after surgery is just to make sure that it has made enough of a difference.

Basically, a CPAP won't work for him, the surgery is the first step (where for most cases it is a last resort) and they believe it will either cure it, or drastically improve his condition.

But thank you for sharing your story - we've had experience with doctors who don't look closely enough at things before making a diagnosis, and it's scary to think of what the consequences of that can be.

#14 Therese

Posted 14 February 2013 - 10:33 AM

What a wonderful thing your parents have done for you both. I hope it all goes well.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

For and against

Should Blue Ivy have been at the VMAs?

Many were quick to condemn Beyonce and Jay Z after appearing on stage at the MTV Video Music Awards with their two-year-old daughter, but others thought it was a sweet family moment. What do you think?

Toddler attacked at gym creche

Two-year-old girl Eva Ness was left with a black eye and bite marks on her face and body after an altercation with an older child at a health club's child-minding facilities. Now her parents are calling for the centre to be closed.

Pregnancy a tricky matter of timing for FIFO couples

Manipulating rosters, coordinating 'conjugal' visits, working on site with your partner; getting pregnant can prove stressful for FIFO workers.

WIN a $100 RedBalloon for Dad

Enter now for your chance to win 1 of 5 $100 RedBalloon experience vouchers. Helping you make Dad's Day EXTRA HAPPY.

Carseats have twice as many germs as a toilet

Most parents know their child's carseat is not always squeaky clean, but they might not realise just how dirty it really is.

Doctors remove foetus from 'medical marvel' after 36 years

Doctors in India have removed the skeleton of a foetus that had been inside a woman for 36 years.

Nine months in six seconds: new parents' Vine clip a hit

We?ve seen some memorable time-lapse pregnancy and birth announcement videos before. Now one new couple has taken it to the extreme, capturing it all in just a six-second Vine video.

Sonia Kruger speaks of baby joy

Celebrity mum-to-be Sonia Kruger has spoken candidly about using donor eggs and IVF to fall pregnant at age 48.

Dressing to not impress: life through the eyes of a three-year-old

When it comes to getting dressed, my three-year-old has only one criterion: ?I don?t want to look beautiful.? And now I've worked out why.

Special nappies made with love for angel babies

Angel Baby Nappies make and provide tiny bereavement cloth nappies for pre-term stillborn babies and premature babies who pass away in the NICU.

Inside the brain of a tantruming toddler

What's going on in your child's mind in the lead-up to a tantrum? And what?s the best way to respond?

5 secrets to a long-lasting relationship

When it comes to keeping your relationship strong, it?s what you do - and not what you want - that really matters.

When 'furbabies' meet real babies

I am obsessed with my dogs, and can't imagine loving them any less once my baby arrives. But that doesn't stop everyone from telling me I will.

The least popular baby names of 2013

Looking for a baby name that?s nowhere near the top 10 ? or even the top 1000? Try the bottom five.

'I was so sleep deprived I crashed my car'

There are no laws regulating driving while tired, but statistics show that driver fatigue is one of the top three contributors to the road toll.

Why are there so few sexy maternity bras?

Rather than feeling ashamed of their post-baby bodies, women should be free to buy lingerie that makes them look attractive and pretty - no matter what stage of life they're in.

Toddler Alliyah one step closer to first trip home

She has lived the first 14 months of her life in a hospital intensive care unit, but Alliyah Broadby's parents hope to finally take their little girl home with them.

'Put people before IVF profits': IVF pioneer Alan Trounson

IVF could be done for hundreds of dollars in Australia instead of $8500 if clinics stopped charging what ''the market will handle'', a pioneer of the technology says.

Expectant parents urged to swap the pub for bub

Nearly one in five women drink while pregnant, but a current campaign is trying to drive down that unhealthy statistic.

Nutella supplies threatened by bad weather

There's bad news for fans of Nutella, the gooey, chocolatey hazelnut spread.

The cost of growing your own vegies

Does it make financial sense to grow your own veggies, or are you better off ordering produce from the local food co-op?

Breastfeeding mums less likely to suffer from PND, but all need support

A new study has shown the a complex relationship between a mother?s intention to breastfeed, her ability to do so, and postnatal depression.

Win back some precious time and get FREE coupons

Membership to eBay's Bubs? Corner is free and includes a $10 coupon to spend on nappies each month - a win for multitasking mums!

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win back some precious time and get FREE coupons

Membership to eBay's Bubs? Corner is free and includes a $10 coupon to spend on nappies each month - a win for multitasking mums!

Do you suffer from Precious Firstborn Syndrome?

Testing ?no more tears? shampoo in your own eyes, warming cucumber sticks so they're not cold straight from the fridge, waking a sleeping baby to check they?re still breathing: these are all symptoms of Precious Firstborn Syndrome.

Ezra's tragic death not in vain, mum says

Little Ezra was a "Harry Houdini" who loved trying to escape the family home. Now, after his tragic death, his parents are doing what they can to help others.

7 mistakes old hands make with new babies

As I sat across the table from my friend ? me, a seasoned mother of three; her, a brand new mum ? I thought of all the mistakes an old-hand parent can make when visiting a newborn baby.

Video: When adults act like children

Ever wondered what would happen if adults were allowed to act like children? This dad's hilarious video clip will give you an idea of what life would be like.

Mums hit hardest as flu cases skyrocket

The number of confirmed cases of influenza in Australia has doubled the number for the same time last year - and women are 25 per cent more likely to get it.

The mum who had four babies in nine months

Feeling exhausted due to the demands of caring for a baby? Imagine the life of this mum, who gave birth to three boys and one girl in just nine months.

Everything baby at Big W

Lowest prices on everything baby, only at Big W. Sale starts August 4 and ends August 20 2014.

Smiggle is painting the town red!

We have 3 Red Smiggle prize packs to give away! Enter by posting a photo of something red to your Instagram.

Going viral

Mum gives birth at school

After four decades in the industry, pest controller John Birkett couldn't believe what he found in one woman's bedroom.

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

 

Mind, body, beauty, life

Making time for me

We look at your wellbeing, covering health, relationships, beauty and fashion, mind and body.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.