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6 week old - resettling at 40 minutes
Deja vu!


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#1 lovedupmumma

Posted 12 February 2013 - 10:10 AM

OK, so DS3 is 6 weeks old today, and I am getting a distinct sense of deja vu.

Goes down fine for a sleep (daytime), then wakes after 40 mins and is really hard to resettle. It look like he's having a fight with his wrap and he grizzles, whimpers and cries. No amount of patting or replacing the dummy settles him, and if I leave him he gets so worked up it takes ages to calm him (ie picking up and rocking). I am hesitant to pick him up straight away like I did with DS1, I try to resettle in the cot, but here he is in my arms as I type.

This happened with DS1 in particular and I think the mistake there was we allowed him to become overstimulated and sleep was a problem for a VERY long time. DS2 was better at this age, but still the same 40 min/ one sleep cycle thing.

So my question is, what are your tips for resettling when they wake at this age but need more sleep? He's too young IMO for letting him cry it out, and that seems to make it worse and go on for longer, but am keen not to have a repeat of past sleep problems. I just have too many people to look after these days for that!

#2 lucky 2

Posted 12 February 2013 - 10:30 AM

At 6 weeks he is at the peak of unsettled behaviour (peaks around 6-8  weeks of age).
Most people are going to say do what you can and do what you need to do, just as you have done, ie he didn't sleep with your strategies so you picked him up, that is the only thing you could have done in the circumstances.
What alternative did you have?
If the only alternative is to ignore his cries/needs (aka crying it out) then you have done the right thing by him by picking him up to comfort him.
He needs that support from his carers until he developmentally ready not to need that support, he is far too immature at the moment.
The link below is pretty extensive and has lots of research based information on baby behaviour and tips/strategies for help with soothing, sleeping and crying.
http://www.purplecrying.info/
All the best.

#3 Lokum

Posted 12 February 2013 - 10:43 AM

Maybe he's grizzling and fighting when he wakes after 40 mins because he HAS had enough sleep and wants to get up and have a cuddle?

My DS1 was a catnapper and had 40 minute sleeps (but lots of them) until about 6-7 months old. He would go to sleep, wake after 40 minutes and want to get up for a feed or play. If we didn't attend to him he'd grizzle, but only because he wanted to get up. Once up, he'd be happy with a cuddle, but we'd try to get him back to bed within an hour or so (longer as he got older.)

After 6  months, he started waking cranky, as he really did need a longer sleep but wasn't able to get through to the next sleep cycle, and then I helped him. I had to lie on the bed next to the cot reading, and at the 35 0\or 40 min mark, as soon as he stirred, I'd scoop him up and cuddle him until he'd got through to the next sleep cycle. When he was sleeping deeply again, then I'd lay him back in the cot. Within a couple of weeks, he was reliably sleeping 2 or 3 sleep cycles by himself and happy again.

But catnapping per se wasn't a problem, only when it became clear that lots of 40 min naps was no longer working for him. Up until 6 months they worked great for him. He was a great sleeper, went to sleep easily and quickly (< 5 minutes) nearly his whole life - but we cuddled him to sleep until he was 18 months old. Is now a brilliant toddler sleeper, in his own bed, never gets out. I don't think self-settling in the cot is necessarily important to being a good sleeper. In our experience, more cuddles = better sleep.

#4 José

Posted 12 February 2013 - 10:44 AM

How is the night time sleep? My ds is now four months. He can sleep for hours during the night but in the day very very rately sleeps beyond one sleep cycle.  DH and I tried resettling for about two weeks and had a really low success rate. Nurse/ sleep consultant said to stop attempting to resettle.  She said he is able to resettle himself as he does so at night and if he wanted to in the day he would.  We cant force it. Hopefully once he starts crawling his sleep will be longer.  Im not sure if this experience is helpful to you or not? Maybe u need to go with the short day sleep for now?

#5 lovedupmumma

Posted 12 February 2013 - 11:11 AM

Sleep at night is good so long as the weather is cool. 1am and 5am feeds after about 8pm the last feed before bed. When the weather is hotter he wakes more frequently at night but over all good.

Lokum, I really don't think he's ready to be up after 40 mins as the grizzling doesn't stop when he's up. DS1 was a shocking cat napper which was OK at the time, but this one has to go to school drop off and pick up and generally get shunted around and if there hasn't been a good slab of sleep in the day the night is a really unsettled.

Also I am trying to make the most of the days when I have DS2 at home with me because he needs some of my time. He's off to school next year and I want to spend some time playing with him not resettling the baby.

QUOTE
She said he is able to resettle himself as he does so at night and if he wanted to in the day he would. We cant force it.


Good point, the nights are OK although it can be hit and miss rolleyes.gif

#6 Lokum

Posted 12 February 2013 - 03:43 PM

QUOTE (lovedupmumma @ 12/02/2013, 12:11 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Lokum, I really don't think he's ready to be up after 40 mins as the grizzling doesn't stop when he's up. DS1 was a shocking cat napper which was OK at the time, but this one has to go to school drop off and pick up and generally get shunted around and if there hasn't been a good slab of sleep in the day the night is a really unsettled.


Fair enough, sounds like he's not happy, especially if there's flow-on to the night sleeps. Try pick him up and cuddle him through to the next sleep cycle, but get to him BEFORE he really rouses? This does require watching like a hawk though, so is rather time consuming.




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