Jump to content

Due date on anniversary
Sensitive


  • Please log in to reply
18 replies to this topic

#1 RunDMC

Posted 11 February 2013 - 04:17 PM

Post deleted for privacy

Thank you to all of your messages, I did have a DD who naturally arrived a week early.

Edited by RunDMC, 19 September 2013 - 08:55 PM.


#2 Oma Desala

Posted 11 February 2013 - 04:29 PM

I was 'due' the day after my uncles birthday (he committed suicide 15 years ago)and like most pregnancies I didn't have DS till well after then at 40+9. I can certainly understand the anxiety you must be feeling when you don't know exactly when you'll birth but I personally wouldn't be doing anything to encourage labour before you're 40 weeks as it will most likely just add to your anxiety as the anniversary dates get closer. Instead I would take comfort in the fact that most babies come after their due date. Having said that I would still mention it and ask that it be noted in your file so that the hospital staff can understand your concerns and offer extra counseling should you go early on one of those dates.

Edited by Oma Desala, 11 February 2013 - 04:30 PM.


#3 9ferals

Posted 11 February 2013 - 04:37 PM

I can see how hard that would be for you OP, anniversaries are hard to deal with and having something so happy coming on such a sad day - there's a real conflict there.

But, you know, if it was me, part of me would be hoping the baby did come on one of those special days because it makes a link between the generations, so even though your dad and brother aren't there to hold your precious new baby, it's as though they are reaching out from the past to support you as the new generation begins.

I hope that doesn't seem way too weird, but that's the way I see it.



#4 MARsmum

Posted 11 February 2013 - 04:40 PM

I lost a baby after I had DD1.  I then fell pregnant with DD2 and she was due a week or so after the anniversary of losing my baby.  However, I had to have an early induction and was initally given a date a few days before the anniversary however was bumped and rescheduled for the day I lost my baby!  I was really anxious about this and had a really negative connection to the date.  I really didn't want it to be my DD's birthday.  However, now I feel completely different.  What was a negative date is now a really happy date.  It is now DD's birthday and the sadness connected to the day is gone!

Good luck and I HTH!

#5 A-ZMum

Posted 11 February 2013 - 04:42 PM

You poor thing. It sounds like you've been through so much. Hopefully you won't wind up having your baby on an anniversary, but if you do, you'll learn how to approach the day with a mix of sadness and joy.

I would definitely tell your doctor.  He is there to support you through your journey - this is clearly a major issue and I think he needs to know to support you properly.  Don't worry about coming across as a mental case!  He's a health professional, and I'm positive he'll have had many women cry in their appointments with him.

Please be kind to yourself...I hope you can relax and enjoy your pregnancy!


#6 Clare L

Posted 11 February 2013 - 04:44 PM

Hi OP,

I can understand why you'd be feeling anxious about this.

I was born two years to the day that my grandfather died. For my family, it changed the meaning of the day to something more positive blush.gif

If you feel comfortable, tell your caregiver. They are there to support you,

Clare
xx

#7 item

Posted 11 February 2013 - 05:03 PM

Would you consider an induction the week prior?  In any case I think your anxiety is something that should be discussed with your caregivers.

DD (who had known medical problems) was going to be born via c-section on my birthday, they actually brought the c-section date forward a week because there was such a huge risk she would die immediately after birth and I was very upset and anxious about it. No-one thought it was silly when I confided my fears, they just took it into account when treating us both.

#8 cattivo lupo

Posted 11 February 2013 - 05:08 PM

Definitely tell your care providers.   It's ok that you feel vulnerable, you've been through a lot  sad.gif , a lot of big, sad things.  I hope that it works out for you as it did for the PP (MARSmum).  

Take care

#9 aussierach

Posted 12 February 2013 - 01:25 PM

not the same thing but with my first son my OB schedualed his c-sect for the 3rd anniversary of my daughters birth and death, I was so shocked while in the office I didn't say anthing when we got to the car I broke down and was inconsolable took me 1/2 hr or so to calm down // and then I decided to accept this as maybe it was somehow my little girls way of saying its ok to be happy ... in the end he was born 2 days after her bday and while I still have a sad day in sept I also have a day to look forward too

best of luck

#10 Lyra

Posted 12 February 2013 - 01:32 PM

My uncle died in a farm accident when he was about four-ish. It was a particularly awful death for my mother as she found him  sad.gif  My youngest brother's due date was for the date of this death and she was due to have an induction the week prior so as to not have the baby on that day. As it was she went into labour anyway and it was all avoided

I am so sorry that you are going through this and I don't think you are being silly at all. Best of luck with everything xxxx

#11 iheartu

Posted 12 February 2013 - 01:34 PM

My second dd was born on my grandparents wedding anniversary, unfortunately it is also the day my grandfather later died. There's not a lot we could do about it in the end (I went into labour the day before but didn't have her till the wee hours the following day). I know it's hard on my grandmother but I like to think my grandfather is her guardian angel watching over her. Perhaps you could imagine the same.



#12 tanyak1

Posted 12 February 2013 - 01:46 PM

I understand how you feel - DD2 was born on the 9th anniversary of my dad's death. Some years I have struggled with the conflicting feelings of the day - but in another way it's kind of nice they have a connection in some way, because physically they cannot, and I always am reminded of how proud dad would have been of DD2 and his other grand kids he never got to meet. It is bittersweet but that is the way it is.

Edited by tanyak1, 12 February 2013 - 01:47 PM.


#13 anikal

Posted 12 February 2013 - 02:17 PM


I was born during my uncle's funeral - my father missed my birth because he was a pallbearer, he had dropped my mother at the hospital and rushed back after to funeral to find me already there. I'm told I'm the reason my Grandmother got out of bed for the first few months of my life. She slowly declined in health through my childhood and died on my 13th birthday. For my parents, my existence gave them an anchor outside themselves.
I consider my birthday special partly because of the connections with my family.



#14 GenWhy

Posted 12 February 2013 - 02:30 PM

You're not being silly OP. I totally understand. Anniversary dates are very hard for me and it's the same with friends of mine. I would definitely tell your care provider and see what you can come up with.

I was born on my Uncles death anniversary. My Grandfather refused to leave the house on that day as he was very superstitious. My father saw it as a blessing though and even though I didn't ever see my DGF on my actual birthday, he always had a soft spot for me and would come the next day to say Happy Birthday.

#15 mez70

Posted 12 February 2013 - 09:45 PM

Many years ago when I was pregnant with my older children (twins) I was really worried and upset they not be born on the 1st anniversay of my Nan's passing especially as she had been such a support etc on my IVF journey and well they decided that they would come really early and were born at 31 weeks. Upon hearing the news and knowing they were stable etc my MIL joked with us that night that pity we didn't hold on for 2 more days and they could of shared her birthday lol which given that DBIL and I have birthday's 2 days apart and his now wife's b'day is about 4 days away from my DH was a great source of a laugh and giggle... Sadly they only got to share one huge family B'day dinner with their Nan before she passed away..


Any way years later we were lucky enough to have another attempt at IVF and were expecting DS2. He was due on the 8th of October but due to medical reasons we were booked for a Caesar at 38-39 weeks and were booked for 28th September.. All good except all along I kept getting a feeling I was not going to make booked date and kept saying I don't care when he arrives along as it is not on the twins birthday or day after (that was the first year of separate parties lol). Anyway 19th of Sept comes and my DD has her party no worries, then morning of the 20th rolls on and I really struggled and now realise bubs dropped heaps that day (never had felt that before so didn't realise) So roll on to the next day which was the 21st and my late MIL's Bday and I started getting pain in the morning which I had put down to constipation.. day went on and pain became very regular and long story short I was in labor. DH arrives home for work to be greeted by me saying hosp now.. anyway it was not until we were halfway to the hosp when it hit me what day it was.. I said to DH do you know what today is........ Monday was his reply DOH!!!!!! So I said no it is your mums birthday, remember how she had joked about her birthday and the twins not waiting etc.. At which time he smiled and said yeah..

At 7.48 that evening we welcomed DS2 into the world and it has brought so much joy to both us and DH's extended family.. His Aunts cherish that we welcomed their sisters grandchild into the world on her birthday and that day now has joy, Funny enough he is the one of all my kids who takes after her the most as well. I must admit that sometime I do feel a little sad on and around the kids birthdays as it was such a special time and I know just how much my MIL would have loved sharing birthdays with them, but just knowing we have a reason to smile on that day helps. I know my DH's cousin was married on the date of his late fathers (he has lost both parents) birthday and they were a little worried about that but we are simply glad to have a day where we miss someone filled with love and a joyful reason to celebrate..

Talk to your health care providers and see what options are avail to you..


#16 RunDMC

Posted 15 February 2013 - 08:11 PM

Thank you all for sharing your stories and your support. It has really helped to read through your experiences.

These EB forums make you see that there really is a lot of varied experience that goes into making each person an individual.

I have been going around in circles, my past is not really something I share with a lot of people so it made bringing it up a difficult discussion point as there is so much background to give before getting to the present concern. Even talking to DH was hard as he has never seen me emotional about my past before as it is something I keep really close to my chest, he cannot really see why I am struggling.

I did speak to the doctor, broke down in the office, she was really understanding and talked through some possibilities - counselling, early induction, sweep at my 38 week appointment. All of which I am in the process of talking through with DH, we know the risks as we had a sweep with DS and was eventually induced after a long labour.

however I am subject to the public hospital system I.e. I am part of the doctors clinic so it is not guaranteed that I will see this same doctor at my next appointment. She is not sure if the hospital will allow an early induction (if that is the way we would like to go), it needs to be approved. She did write up some notes in the system, and gave me an inside tip on how to make it more likely that I will be assigned to her next appointment. Fingers crossed because I do not want to have to talk through that again. She has written a referral to a social worker which I am not that over joyed about as I really do not like to make a fuss.

Edited by RunDMC, 15 February 2013 - 08:14 PM.


#17 FeralProudSwahili

Posted 15 February 2013 - 08:27 PM

I can understand why you are feeling the way you do OP. I have no real suggestions to add apart from wanting to reassure you that speaking to a social worker may be very beneficial- they can act as an advocate for you to get counseling/ have an earlier induction etc and if nothing else, it can be good to off load some of your fears to someone who is not going to judge you (and they won't). Don't feel as though you are making a fuss, because your feelings are valid.

Good luck.

#18 tel2

Posted 15 February 2013 - 08:38 PM

The chance of a baby being born on his/her due date is only 3% I was told. It is not very common. I only know of 3 babies born on their due date - BIL and two of my friends little girls.

If you are really concerned ask for an induction a few days before the anniversary date. The Dr should give it to you considering this issue is causing stress to you.

#19 TheGreenSheep

Posted 15 February 2013 - 08:52 PM

Our DS was born on the anniversary of his grandmothers death. And whilst being an overwhelmingly sad event for DH and his family, it has given us a connection to her that makes her presence in our family more 'real' for want of a better word. In our family there are a few sad dates around that time of year, so it was amazing that he came unexpectedly on that date.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

How I learnt to relax about routines

After many routine-led, tough years, we've realised that being parenting isn't about being perfect. It isn't about following a schedule to a T.

Should you have a third child or not?

I thought our family had been complete with our two boys. I had no idea how much I needed my daughter until she was here.

Helping a toddler embrace an adopted sibling

A single parent by choice, I am preparing to adopt a second baby from Morocco. And I face a special challenge.

When pregnancy messes with your self-esteem

Pregnancy doesn't make all women feel beautiful. It certainly doesn't raise every woman's self-esteem.

Join us in The BIG nappy change

Introducing the new Coles Little Explorer Nappies! You can confidently rely on Coles Little Explorer nappies at each stage of your child's growth, so take the Big Nappy Change and try new Coles Little Explorer nappies for yourself!

Robbie Williams live tweets wife's labour

And the award for most patient woman in labour goes to ... Robbie Williams' wife, Ayda Field.

Vaccine ignorance is deadly and contagious

In the absence of credible, strong political leadership, paranoia about disease can go viral.

Parenting differently based on birth order

All children have unique personalities, but keeping birth order in mind could help when parenting.

How to get rid of the mum guilt

Motherhood and guilt seem to go hand in hand, but there are ways to focus

Paid parental leave scheme grinds to a halt

The future of Prime Minister Tony Abbott's paid parental leave scheme appears to be up in the air, despite the fact it is due to begin in less than nine months.

The devastation of foetal alcohol spectrum disorders

No one's sure how many Australians are affected by foetal alcohol spectrum disorders, but the consequences for those who are can be devastating.

The pros and cons of finding out the sex of your unborn baby

It’s often one of the biggest choices parents make during the course of their pregnancy; to find out, or not to find out, the sex of their baby before it’s born.

Toddler's awesome dress up month

Two-year-old Willow and her photographer mum, Gina Lee, made October "Dress Up Willow Month". She posted photos of Willow's costumes on her Instagram account, and her creative takes on popular culture are simply adorable.

Childhood around the world

It can be easy to assume our ideas around childhood are universal, but they are particular to where we live, as these practices show.

Best picks for baby and toddler shoes

Here's a great selection of footwear from pre-walker to walker ensuring comfort and style for growing feet.

I lost my wife and daughters to Ebola - then it came for my son

Sunday, September 21, is a day I will never forget.

The 'yucky' illness that took over my life

I have a chronic illness nobody likes to discuss. It involves toilet talk, and probably caused my miscarriage. But it needs to be talked about.

Prenatal testing: the facts

Prenatal testing is done to check if a baby has certain medical conditions before birth. Here is some important information about what the tests are for and the risks involved.

5 things to do with your baby?s old clothes

Did you think your only option for your baby?s old clothes was to pack them away or give them to the Salvos? Think again.

Why it's possible to not realise you're pregnant until the baby arrives

After hearing about 'surprise babies' born to mums who didn't know they were pregnant, it's common to ask "how did she not realise?" But experts say it's entirely possible for it to happen.

'My miracle is finally here'

How has the world continued on its pace when mine has been altered so drastically?

Dairy can help older women fall pregnant: study

Ice cream may be the ultimate comfort food, but a study suggests it could also help older women to have children.

Megan Gale goes topless for 'sexiest people' cover

Six months after a heavily pregnant Megan Gale posed nude for Marie Claire, the glowing new mum has gone topless for the cover of another magazine.

A new perspective on life from living with two diseases

A mother shares her personal story about the difficulty of living with two conditions, one of which stops her from being able to see her daughter's face.

Warning about Children's Panadol dosage

The Therapeutic Goods Administration has issued a safety advisory warning parents about confusion when using the dosing syringe supplied with Children's Panadol.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Take 'The Coles Big Nappy Change' Challenge

You could become part of our Test Drive team and win one of 200 packs of Coles Little Explorer Nappies as part of our 5-day challenge.

Win 1 of 5 Canon Powershot D30 cameras

Capture life more easily with the Canon Powershot D30. Shockproof, waterproof and dustproof, you can take it almost anywhere and shoot beautiful images, time after time. Enter now!

16 parenting truths you won't find in the baby books

I am five years into this parenting gig and I’ve learnt that sleepless nights and changing dirty nappies are child’s play.

Best and worst potty party cakes

It's nice to celebrate a child making the shift from nappies to 'big kid' undies, but do we really need a semi-realistic used toilet cake to do it? Here are some of the best and worst cakes parents have used at 'potty parties' around the world.

7 tips for a financially festive Christmas

Plan ahead - and do it now - to ensure festive season expenses don't break the bank.

'Go the F*** to Sleep' author's new book for frustrated parents

A sequel is coming soon to the 2011 hit book 'Go the F*** to Sleep' - and this time, it's about mealtimes.

Great birthday party buys from Etsy

Handmade crafts to decorate and personalise your child's next birthday - from banners to cake decorations, we've got gorgeous party finds from Etsy.

Join us in The BIG nappy change

Introducing the new Coles Little Explorer Nappies! You can confidently rely on Coles Little Explorer nappies at each stage of your child's growth, so take the Big Nappy Change and try new Coles Little Explorer nappies for yourself!

Creative storage ideas for the kids' rooms

Creative and practical storage ideas for the kids' toys and books can also add some stylish decor to your home. Visit babyology.com.au for more stylish modern finds for hip kids & parents.

Weird trend

Couple has five babies in 14 months

Julie and David Grygla weren't sure they'd ever have kids - but their dreams have now well and truly come true.

To the mum in the doctor's waiting room

Maybe the mum I saw in that waiting room, seemingly disconnected from her baby, doesn’t have the support she needs.

10 space-saving nursery ideas

Starting a family doesn't always mean moving into a bigger house - not yet, anyway.

 

What's in a name?

Baby Names

Looking for a classic name, or an unusual name? Our Baby Name Finder is for you, search or browse to refine your shortlist.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.