Jump to content

Separation- using the kids to hurt each other
Need some answers for a friend


  • Please log in to reply
5 replies to this topic

#1 PurplePaperFrog

Posted 11 February 2013 - 03:01 PM

My friend is going through a messy separation and his wife is threatening to take the kids away from him (to a rural town or interstate) if he doesn't give her another chance at fixing things.

They have been doing this for over a year now, but he has had enough and knows it will never get better between them and wants a divorce.

His fear is that she will act on her threats and take the kids away so that he will not see them often enough. He believes she will hurt the kids to hurt him (I don't know if I believe that though, but I do believe she may want to move away for a fresh start).

Does anyone know if she can do that? Any advice or information will be appreciated.

My husband and I don't know anything about such things to comfort or reassure him.


#2 BatDog

Posted 11 February 2013 - 03:55 PM

He needs to seek legal advice ASAP.

#3 >Catskers<

Posted 11 February 2013 - 04:01 PM

Lawyer, family court and parenting orders.

#4 boysescakes

Posted 11 February 2013 - 04:45 PM

He should definitely get a lawyer on board, just so he knows what his rights are and what orders can be put in place to "safe guard" him to a certain extent.  
Not justifying her actions at all, but if it is early days, she may be really hurting and is lashing out in anger and may be all talk.  I know I was really angry when I separated from my husband.  But at no time did our kids become pawns in our fights. If she is doing this, that is really sad, and perhaps he could get someone close to her to explain the effect this will have on the kids.  Because I fear  anything he says,  will just fuel her anger.
I wish him good luck.....it really is a very tough thing to go through.

#5 JustBeige

Posted 12 February 2013 - 08:57 AM

Does she have her support network in a different town or state?  usually that is what is prompts people to move / want to move when they split up.  So he may need to take that into consideration and try and work out a compromise to see his kids.


If she is being vindictive or he feels she may become like this,  then ASAP - Lawyer (legal aid) re parenting orders and separation.  



#6 kpingitquiet

Posted 12 February 2013 - 09:08 AM

I don't know that you can make him feel better. I do think you can suggest he move, too, or devote himself to regular travel to see his children. If we ever split up, it's pretty well known that I'll return to my home country with any children. It's also an accepted fact that I'll help my husband move too, so he can still be a participating parent. I agree that most primary carer parents move, more often, to get closer to support, rather than further from the ex (violent situations excepted).




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Mum shares hilarious story about attempting shower sex

As most parents know, finding time for sex post-kids is one of life's not-so-little challenges.

16 things you'll learn on the preschool party circuit

Kids birthday parties sound fun in the abstract but the reality is they often end up an introverts worst nightmare – forced social interaction in the name of good parenting.

The 92-year-old who's a great-great-great-grandmother

A 92-year-old Canadian woman has become a great-great-great grandmother this week after the family welcomed a baby boy.

The Pramrolla mimics a walk in the park to help your baby get to sleep

Simply put the pram brake on, set the wheels on top of the Pramrolla, plug it in and off they go ... or so they think.

Beyonce shares surreal pregnancy photo shoot

Pop superstar Beyonce on Thursday released a slew of photos of herself posing pregnant and nude.

Airport staff order mum to squeeze her breasts to prove she's lactating

A Singaporean mum of two has spoken about her humiliation at the hands of German airport security guards who ordered her to prove she could breastfeed.

How to keep your baby or toddler safe at home

Child-proofing tips that will ensure your home remains a safe haven for curious toddlers and babies on the move.

Told to get rid of their dogs, this expectant couple took the sweetest photos instead

When the couple conceived their first human child they came under enormous pressure to give up their dogs.

Bereaved parents take baby home for 'family time' after death, thanks to cuddle cot

A bereaved mother has spoken about her decision to take her daughter's body home to spend time as a family before her funeral.

'Get off your phone!': the daycare note that's got people talking

A note posted by a US daycare facility has urged parents to get off their phone when collecting their children:

Babysitter's creative 'hands-free' baby carrier hack

We've all been there – you need to hold the baby, but you also need to eat.

Will these be the most on-trend baby names of 2017?

Nameberry has crunched the numbers, predicting which monikers will see a rise in 2017.

Firefighter adopts the baby he helped deliver

Five years ago firefighter Marc Hadden took an emergency call that changed his life.

Mum shares graphic image to highlight importance of rear-facing car seats for kids

A British safety blogger has shared a graphic photo of the damage a seatbelt can do in a car accident in a bid to persuade more parents to use rear-facing car seats for as long as possible with their kids.

Pharrell Williams and his wife welcome triplets

Now that's a good way to start the new year.

Turn yourself into a child's climbing gym with this wearable vest

It's such a neat idea for those living in high density apartment blocks where children may struggle to get enough physical activity.

Bugaboo unveils its new Bugaboo Bee5

The lightweight and compact Bugaboo Bee has been on the scene for a decade now.

The first few weeks of pregnancy: surreal, scary, exciting

It is okay to be worried, nervous, anxious, in love and happy all at the same time.

 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Articles

Advertisement
 
 
 

From our network

Essential Baby & Toddler Show, presented by Blackmores

3-5 March 2017, Brisbane Convention & Exhibition Centre. Get your FREE ticket now. Save $20.

Your child's fine motor skills: what you should know

There is less of a focus on fine motor skills, but they're just as important as others. (SPONSORED)

5 ways music helps your toddler's development

There are at least five other compelling reasons to get musical around your toddler. (SPONSORED)

 

Free ticket offer

Essential Baby & Toddler Show, presented by Blackmores

3-5 March 2017, Brisbane Convention & Exhibition Centre. Get your FREE ticket now. Save $20.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.