Jump to content

My 4 year old ID twin boys are being a nightmare
I hate to say it but...it is double trouble!


  • Please log in to reply
13 replies to this topic

#1 Farmgal

Posted 11 February 2013 - 02:40 PM

My 4 year old ID twin boys are being a nightmare....

I use time out
I use toy confiscation
I tried reasoning with them....but it just does not seem to work.

In the last few days they keep running about the place being stupid and when I try to get them to stop they just continue running away from me, laughing in my face and yelling. They are normally quite sensible, but recently  they have become more silly.

They would never behave this way on their own, it is as if they feel like they have super powers when their brother is there beside them. When I start to discipline one DS the other DS laughs and then all the respect for me goes out the window and the start running and laughing again.

I tried my hardest to remain calm and this morning when they ran around and around the house so I could not catch them I managed to stop them and we did time out.

But this afternoon it happened again and I could not stay calm I was so upset and cried in front of them.

I would say these incidents happen about one a month, but since Saturday it has happened 4 times.

I am sick, have  PMS and am so sad that my darling boys could behave this way.

They go to preschool two days a week and are lovely boys and rarely get in trouble, if at all. So I know they know the right way to behave, they just choose not to behave on these occasions.

Do you have any ideas as to how to proceed? I just don't know. The removal of toys and tv does not seem to worry them. Because they just play with each other if there is nothing else.

And now I have removed tv for a week they have even more time to get up to mischief!

I really love my boys and just want us to have a happier time together.





#2 Daisy Goat

Posted 11 February 2013 - 03:55 PM

The only currency i have ultimately found is separation. It is the only thing that truly upsets them and has impact on their decision to behave or not

I tried all the same things you are trying and like you they didn't really care because they just played with each other

#3 ~Bob~

Posted 11 February 2013 - 04:02 PM

Positive reinforcement worked best for us. Particularly when each one saw the other being rewarded for good behaviour, then the other wanted the same. I used 'chore cards' for this



#4 mumto3princesses

Posted 11 February 2013 - 04:05 PM

When my girls were little I found time out apart worked. But rather than trying to keep them both in seperate areas and spending my time trying to get them to stay there while they did their little tag team thing I had a play-pen and a port-a-cot. No toys, just in there with nothing and not in the same room as each other.

#5 Daisy Goat

Posted 11 February 2013 - 04:13 PM

Ooh Bob i like the chore cards!  

They would work a treat at the age my two now are (6)

Although my current currency is skylander figurines. They live in a box and  are given back or taken away depending on behaviour. Worth every cent...lol

#6 jill1972

Posted 12 February 2013 - 09:15 AM

hmmmmm chore cards, what a good idea.  Why can't I think of things like that?  I like your skylander idea too DG, my boys love them but I've not bought them yet.

My boys are either getting along like a house on fire or laying into each other, the latter is getting less & less as they are getting older.  But now they're in school I can deal with the hard times more calmly.  I've really lost the plot at times & been reduced to tears more times than I care to remember.

On the lighter side though whenever my boys get asked "Who did this?"  they both point to each other & mention each other's name at the same time.  They've got it down pat. laugh.gif



_____________

#7 Daisy Goat

Posted 12 February 2013 - 09:52 AM

Jill, I'd like to say it was a thought out concept but really I discovered the value of it when I was so angry at them  not playing nicely with each other  so took  ALL their figurines off them.  Then I realised that I could give them back one by one as "reward".


#8 twinboys

Posted 12 February 2013 - 10:03 AM

Don't chase and yell - it just adds to the pandemonium.
Distracting works best.

If they start getting out of control grab some bubble mix go outside and start blowing bubbles. They will want to join in so hand it over to them and let them blow bubbles outside.

If one is easier to grab hold of and get his attention start doing an activity with him and his brother will soon also want to join in.

Have stuff like playdough  or some cool puzzles.

Even start doing a very basic cooking chore like cutting up mushrooms with a bread and butter knife.
They will soon both want to join in with helping.

At this age my boys were dress up mad and they used to play batman and robin or superman and spiderman.
Toys just weren't that interesting for them.

#9 SylviaPlath

Posted 12 February 2013 - 10:38 AM

It sounds like the power is in separating them during time out. Prob in separate rooms if they egg each other along.
I would also try positive rewarding for good behaviour. So, if they are misbehaving, suggest some kind of activity that they can do with you, each other. It also means it distracts and redirects. You will have to change the activity, otherwise they will realise your tactic and/or misbehave to get it.
Good luck!



#10 Farmgal

Posted 15 February 2013 - 09:26 AM

Thanks for the advice guys. I will try what you have recommended!

#11 twinsmom

Posted 28 February 2013 - 02:46 PM

I am new to this forum and can totally understand what you are going through, my twin boys are 6 years now.

they were most difficult at 4 when they started playing silly with each other, nothing worked at first.  Honestly speaking time out doesn't really work as they get older and when they have a partner.  The first change I made was with the routine schedule with pictures and they get to check and change it ( I packed it with variety of activities like some mentioned in the above posts).  Everyday before they start their activities I will remind them the rules and consequences (consequence was the one who starts the laughing/fighting/running frenzy will not get to continue with the activity).  There were many times they fell into the frenzy and got eliminated (they cried and yelled when that happened) Oh I set up a cozy corner with books in the house before that and told them they can go into it whenever they feel upset.  So eventually they learnt to go into the corner and cry/read.  I am a bit too firm when it comes to frenzies so they got the message pretty soon and things were under control.  But they still try that once in a while but it only takes calling them for a talk to stop it.  

All the best, don't chase them or let them feel that they are in control.  Try distracting them when something like that is going to happen.

#12 Twinmum+2

Posted 28 February 2013 - 03:40 PM

I completely understand how you feel... my two boys are a lot the same, even though they are nearly 6 now.  I'm waiting for them to grow out of it/settle down a bit.  A lot of the time I have to admit I cop out and leave DH to sort them out... he only has to say something to them usually and they start behaving.

We've had some success with time out... though separately, not together.  And taking away things they really like... like their new bikes, or the x-box.  

A friend recently gave me the 'Peaceful parent, happy children' book all about directing your children's behaviour without punishments... I'll let you know if there is any help in that!

#13 Prissy Princess

Posted 04 March 2013 - 06:58 AM

I have 3 year old twins, with your P.M.S. thrown in I think that you are a saint for not throtteling ds1 or ds2. You will look back and chuckle about their antics one day and it sounds like you are doing a stellar job as being a role model, not just their mate.

#14 Farmgal

Posted 05 March 2013 - 06:14 AM

Hi again,

Well their behaviour has greatly improved.

I don't really think it all comes from me trying to be calmer when they are being horrid, but rather something else as well. I read that 4 year old boys can have a lot of testosterone rushing around in their little bodies at this time and was thinking this may have also been responsible for their foul behaviour.

I am enjoying the calm...let's hope it does not mean a storm is soon upon us ! original.gif

Thanks for your tips!




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Show us your DUPLO creations to win!

We love to see the cool creations kids build when they play with LEGO DUPLO. Enter and share a picture of your childs creation for a chance to WIN 1 of 10 LEGO DUPLO prize packs worth over $100 each.

Jammy, Hula Hoop, Rage: Reddit reveals most unusual baby names

A recent Reddit thread has revealed some of the more creative names in the world.

Woman awakens from coma, learns she gave birth

A US woman awakened this week from a four-month-long coma that doctors had feared would be permanent and learned that she had given birth to a baby boy, according to her family.

'Give us a break': mum sent shocking letter over Facebook baby pics

Posting a lot of baby photos doesn't make you a bad person. It may make your Facebook feed a little irritating, but it doesn't make you a bad person.

In defense of the dads who do so much

It's time to shift the focus off what dads aren’t doing and shine it on what they are.

The modern cloth nappies too cute to cover up

If you're only just joining the modern cloth nappy movement, or would like to spruce up your collection, we have to introduce you to Designer Bums.

How breastfeeding can affect your libido

When you’ve just had a baby, having sex isn’t usually top priority. In fact, for a lot of women it rates about as appealing as changing another dirty nappy.

Should pregnant women be allowed to use 'parent and child' car parking spots?

Is it acceptable to use these car parking spots when pregnant? How many of us would admit to doing it?

Healthy baby from sperm taken 48 hours after a man died

Fertility doctors have described their "most extraordinary case" - creating a healthy baby from sperm taken 48 hours after a man had died.

Anti-vaccination mum's seven children contract whooping cough

A Canadian woman who had declined to have her children immunised against pertussis, better known as whooping cough, has changed her position now that all seven of her children have come down with the disease.

How pregnancy probiotics can help you and your baby

New research suggests that taking specific pregnancy probiotics could be the answer to a range of common pregnancy side effects.

Childcare is a big problem, but there's more to it

Let’s keep talking about these issues and not allow them to be put into a neat little box that’s labelled ‘Fix childcare and everything is solved’.

Pink's awesome response to body-shaming trolls

When trolls felt the need to comment on 35-year-old singer-songwriter Pink's weight, her answer was an awesome ode to body love.

Fertility clinic offers egg donors $5000

A national chain of fertility clinics is offering egg donors a $5000 payment to cover their expenses, a first for Australia which is raising concerns the money could act as an inducement.

Baby boy abandoned in India amid fresh surrogacy concerns

Australian officials could do nothing to stop an Australian couple from abandoning their baby son, born through surrogacy in India, after they decided they did not want to bring him to Australia.

Herd immunity and community responsibility: how free-riders can make kids suffer

Individual choice works for haircuts and handbags, but not for preventing infectious diseases that kill kids.

Photographer captures 'unexpected beauty' of birth

If there is one thing Leilani Rogers knows about childbirth, it is that no two deliveries are ever the same.

Expectations vs the reality of making a toddler's clothes

Note to self: less sewing, more life. Not the party dress, but the party. The toddler, as usual, has it all figured out.

Mum meets 'dead' daughter 49 years after birth

In 1965, Zella Jackson-Price was told her premature baby girl had died shortly after birth.

Sign up to our 30 days of #PlayIQ challenge

Sign up to receive 30 amazing tips and ideas for play with baby during the month of April and submit a picture or tip on our social wall for a chance to win an amazing Fisher-Price prize pack.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Sign up to our 30 days of #PlayIQ challenge

Sign up to receive 30 amazing tips and ideas for play with baby during the month of April and submit a picture or tip on our social wall for a chance to win an amazing Fisher-Price prize pack.

Tips for flying with a baby

Travelling with kids requires a whole other set of skills - ones that I have learned through (sometimes unfortunate) trial and error.

How to stay calm in an emergency

I’m not expecting you to be as calm as you might be right now. What I mean is that if your panic levels are through the roof during a stressful situation, let’s bring them down to just under the ceiling.

Toddler gets 'drunk' after cranberry juice mix-up

A toddler was taken to hospital after a waitress served her sangria instead of cranberry juice at a US restaurant.

Show us your toddlers LEGO DUPLO creations

We love to see the cool creations kids build when they play with LEGO DUPLO. Enter and share a picture of your childs creation for a chance to WIN 1 of 10 LEGO DUPLO prize packs worth over $100 each.

We need to stop using this word when we talk about childbirth

Is it shaming to point out that women are often being let down in birth?

The certificate helping parents deal with pregnancy loss

For some people, this certificate will offer a sense of validation that their child was acknowledged as being here and now gone, and will help them with life post-loss.

The phenomenon of phantom pregnancy kicks

'Phantom pregnancy kicks’ are encountered by many mums months - or even years - after their pregnancy is over.

The health insurance advice you can't afford to ignore

There's one simple switch that could save you hundreds of dollars a year in private health insurance.

4D scans show how smoking affects babies still in the womb

The harmful effects of smoking during pregnancy on unborn babies may be seen in tiny movements in their faces using 4D ultrasound scans, research has found.

The most dangerous toddler food trends

Pete Evans' paleo cookbook for kids caused a storm, but there are plenty of other unsafe food trends for babies and toddlers.

Infection killed new mum of twins

Modern medicine could not save 19-year-old Sophie Burgess who died 48 hours after giving birth to twins in the UK.

How to babyproof your job interview

Once upon a time, I was a fan of job interviews. That all changed after I'd switched careers, had a baby and decided to spend the first year at home with her.

Grieving families give warnings after toddler deaths

Two Queensland families are grieving the loss of their toddler sons after the boys drowned in separate incidents last week.

Man faces jail after giving woman abortion pill smoothie

A Norwegian man is facing jail after putting abortion pills in his ex-girlfriend's smoothie, causing her to have a miscarriage.

'He's a blessing': family of baby born without eyes

Jordy Jackson was born without eyes. He has anophthalmia, which affects one in every 100,000 babies born.

Super fit model Sarah Stage defends her pregnancy body

Model Sarah Stage has defended her pregnancy body after critics claimed her slim figure at eight-and-a-half months pregnant wasn't "normal".

Why I post breastfeeding photos online

I love to take pictures of my children. In some of the pictures, my younger son is nursing.

The day I broke my baby

There are things I wish I didn't know. I wish I didn't know that companies make tiny braces, small enough to hold necks no bigger than a wrist.

Geeky baby gear

If your family is more into Star Wars, gaming and the periodic table than most, you might want to check out these geek-chic baby items.

Grandbabies: the babies born looking old

Not a day under 65 and a lifetime of struggle! That's the look of these newborns, who look adorably older than their real age. Social networking site Reddit recently featured user submissions of adorable grandbabies, here are our favourites.

53 creative pregnancy announcements

Announcing that you're expecting can be a time to express your creativity, sense of humour and imagination. Check out how other parents and parents-to-be have broken the news to friends and family.

IKEA hacks for the nursery and kids' rooms

Are you one of those that know the whole IKEA catalogue by heart? Love their stuff but want to personalise it? Here's some inspiration to help you realise the potential of IKEA furniture and fittings.

36 baby names inspired by food and drinks

A French court may have ruled out Nutella as a baby name, but that doesn't have to stop you from taking inspiration from the supermarket (or bottle shop). See what parents in the US have chosen for their delicious little ones.

Clever breastfeeding products

Check out this range of products designed to help make your breastfeeding journey more enjoyable, manageable and convenient.

 

SIGN UP NOW!

Win a year's worth of toys

Receive a daily email from Essential Baby for just the month of April with great play tips and ideas, then submit your baby at play photos to our Playwall, Instagram or Twitter for your chance to win.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.