Jump to content

My 4 year old ID twin boys are being a nightmare
I hate to say it but...it is double trouble!


  • Please log in to reply
13 replies to this topic

#1 Farmgal

Posted 11 February 2013 - 02:40 PM

My 4 year old ID twin boys are being a nightmare....

I use time out
I use toy confiscation
I tried reasoning with them....but it just does not seem to work.

In the last few days they keep running about the place being stupid and when I try to get them to stop they just continue running away from me, laughing in my face and yelling. They are normally quite sensible, but recently  they have become more silly.

They would never behave this way on their own, it is as if they feel like they have super powers when their brother is there beside them. When I start to discipline one DS the other DS laughs and then all the respect for me goes out the window and the start running and laughing again.

I tried my hardest to remain calm and this morning when they ran around and around the house so I could not catch them I managed to stop them and we did time out.

But this afternoon it happened again and I could not stay calm I was so upset and cried in front of them.

I would say these incidents happen about one a month, but since Saturday it has happened 4 times.

I am sick, have  PMS and am so sad that my darling boys could behave this way.

They go to preschool two days a week and are lovely boys and rarely get in trouble, if at all. So I know they know the right way to behave, they just choose not to behave on these occasions.

Do you have any ideas as to how to proceed? I just don't know. The removal of toys and tv does not seem to worry them. Because they just play with each other if there is nothing else.

And now I have removed tv for a week they have even more time to get up to mischief!

I really love my boys and just want us to have a happier time together.





#2 Daisy Goat

Posted 11 February 2013 - 03:55 PM

The only currency i have ultimately found is separation. It is the only thing that truly upsets them and has impact on their decision to behave or not

I tried all the same things you are trying and like you they didn't really care because they just played with each other

#3 ~Bob~

Posted 11 February 2013 - 04:02 PM

Positive reinforcement worked best for us. Particularly when each one saw the other being rewarded for good behaviour, then the other wanted the same. I used 'chore cards' for this



#4 mumto3princesses

Posted 11 February 2013 - 04:05 PM

When my girls were little I found time out apart worked. But rather than trying to keep them both in seperate areas and spending my time trying to get them to stay there while they did their little tag team thing I had a play-pen and a port-a-cot. No toys, just in there with nothing and not in the same room as each other.

#5 Daisy Goat

Posted 11 February 2013 - 04:13 PM

Ooh Bob i like the chore cards!  

They would work a treat at the age my two now are (6)

Although my current currency is skylander figurines. They live in a box and  are given back or taken away depending on behaviour. Worth every cent...lol

#6 jill1972

Posted 12 February 2013 - 09:15 AM

hmmmmm chore cards, what a good idea.  Why can't I think of things like that?  I like your skylander idea too DG, my boys love them but I've not bought them yet.

My boys are either getting along like a house on fire or laying into each other, the latter is getting less & less as they are getting older.  But now they're in school I can deal with the hard times more calmly.  I've really lost the plot at times & been reduced to tears more times than I care to remember.

On the lighter side though whenever my boys get asked "Who did this?"  they both point to each other & mention each other's name at the same time.  They've got it down pat. laugh.gif



_____________

#7 Daisy Goat

Posted 12 February 2013 - 09:52 AM

Jill, I'd like to say it was a thought out concept but really I discovered the value of it when I was so angry at them  not playing nicely with each other  so took  ALL their figurines off them.  Then I realised that I could give them back one by one as "reward".


#8 twinboys

Posted 12 February 2013 - 10:03 AM

Don't chase and yell - it just adds to the pandemonium.
Distracting works best.

If they start getting out of control grab some bubble mix go outside and start blowing bubbles. They will want to join in so hand it over to them and let them blow bubbles outside.

If one is easier to grab hold of and get his attention start doing an activity with him and his brother will soon also want to join in.

Have stuff like playdough  or some cool puzzles.

Even start doing a very basic cooking chore like cutting up mushrooms with a bread and butter knife.
They will soon both want to join in with helping.

At this age my boys were dress up mad and they used to play batman and robin or superman and spiderman.
Toys just weren't that interesting for them.

#9 SylviaPlath

Posted 12 February 2013 - 10:38 AM

It sounds like the power is in separating them during time out. Prob in separate rooms if they egg each other along.
I would also try positive rewarding for good behaviour. So, if they are misbehaving, suggest some kind of activity that they can do with you, each other. It also means it distracts and redirects. You will have to change the activity, otherwise they will realise your tactic and/or misbehave to get it.
Good luck!



#10 Farmgal

Posted 15 February 2013 - 09:26 AM

Thanks for the advice guys. I will try what you have recommended!

#11 twinsmom

Posted 28 February 2013 - 02:46 PM

I am new to this forum and can totally understand what you are going through, my twin boys are 6 years now.

they were most difficult at 4 when they started playing silly with each other, nothing worked at first.  Honestly speaking time out doesn't really work as they get older and when they have a partner.  The first change I made was with the routine schedule with pictures and they get to check and change it ( I packed it with variety of activities like some mentioned in the above posts).  Everyday before they start their activities I will remind them the rules and consequences (consequence was the one who starts the laughing/fighting/running frenzy will not get to continue with the activity).  There were many times they fell into the frenzy and got eliminated (they cried and yelled when that happened) Oh I set up a cozy corner with books in the house before that and told them they can go into it whenever they feel upset.  So eventually they learnt to go into the corner and cry/read.  I am a bit too firm when it comes to frenzies so they got the message pretty soon and things were under control.  But they still try that once in a while but it only takes calling them for a talk to stop it.  

All the best, don't chase them or let them feel that they are in control.  Try distracting them when something like that is going to happen.

#12 Twinmum+2

Posted 28 February 2013 - 03:40 PM

I completely understand how you feel... my two boys are a lot the same, even though they are nearly 6 now.  I'm waiting for them to grow out of it/settle down a bit.  A lot of the time I have to admit I cop out and leave DH to sort them out... he only has to say something to them usually and they start behaving.

We've had some success with time out... though separately, not together.  And taking away things they really like... like their new bikes, or the x-box.  

A friend recently gave me the 'Peaceful parent, happy children' book all about directing your children's behaviour without punishments... I'll let you know if there is any help in that!

#13 Prissy Princess

Posted 04 March 2013 - 06:58 AM

I have 3 year old twins, with your P.M.S. thrown in I think that you are a saint for not throtteling ds1 or ds2. You will look back and chuckle about their antics one day and it sounds like you are doing a stellar job as being a role model, not just their mate.

#14 Farmgal

Posted 05 March 2013 - 06:14 AM

Hi again,

Well their behaviour has greatly improved.

I don't really think it all comes from me trying to be calmer when they are being horrid, but rather something else as well. I read that 4 year old boys can have a lot of testosterone rushing around in their little bodies at this time and was thinking this may have also been responsible for their foul behaviour.

I am enjoying the calm...let's hope it does not mean a storm is soon upon us ! original.gif

Thanks for your tips!




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Wondersuit heaven: Bonds & Disney launch exclusive collection

Bonds and Disney fans with babies to buy for will be celebrating this news. Bonds and Disney have just released collaboration Wondersuits.

Perth hospital mistakes cancerous tumour for "behavioural issues"

When Naomi Holly, a mother of three, noticed her eight-month-old daughter Nora, was having difficulty crawling and standing up as normal, she knew there was something wrong.

Piano playing dad soothes son to sleep in moments

There's nothing more frustrating, or distressing to a parent than a sick child who can't  - or won't got to sleep. 

Lucky escape for mum and bub after snake found in couch

Perth mother Laurie Rushton Dyble was sitting on a recliner chair in her home holding her six-month-old son when her husband suddenly told her to get up and leave the room.

When your partner misses the birth

While no one wants their partner to miss their baby’s birth, it can happen. Here’s what to do if you find yourself in that situation.

Motherhood challenge: smug or just a bit of fun?

The #motherhoodchallenge sounds harmless, doesn't it? Some women disagree.

Who's the mum? Family photo goes viral

Last year, it was "The Dress". This year, it is a family photo that is breaking the internet.

5 easy meditation practices for beginners

So who's with me? You know meditating is one of the best things you can possibly do for yourself.

Woman to go on trial for being a bad housewife

An Italian woman could face up to six years in jail after her husband accused her of not doing enough cooking and cleaning at home.

Is the latest advice on women and drinking over the top?

While most expectant mums know to stop drinking when they’re pregnant, experts now warn women should stop drinking earlier than that. Is this necessary?

How household chores can double as a workout

If there's less than a slim chance you'll find time to get out for a jog or to hit the gym today, take heart in knowing that household chores contribute to the calorie equation.

I have no idea what I'm doing - and that's okay

Why don't we talk about the fact that when everything goes right, we may still feel completely lost, and certain that we have failed?

Dad warns of hair tourniquet danger after baby almost loses toe

A shocked father has shared his family's experience in a bid to warn other parents about the dangers of hair becoming entangled around a baby's toe.

Town welcomes first baby in 28 years

Since the 1980s, the Italian town of Ostana had not seen the birth of a single baby.

How to start teaching your kids road safety

It's something that can be taught as early as possible and reinforced as they get older and more mobile - even from toddlerhood.

Just announced: Bugaboo Cameleon³ Classic+ Collection update

Meet the brand new understated chic model from Bugaboo.

The emotional moment a mum hears her late son's heartbeat

It's been two and a half years since Heather Clark's seven-month-old son Lukas passed away.

Nine reasons why you have 'brain fog'

One minute your productivity is skyrocketing and the next you're sitting there trying to focus – just like that you draw blank, your brain, mush.

I had a caesarean and it was beautiful

Guess what? Despite not pushing him out, I cried, and my heart skipped, and I felt the rush of love and pride when I saw him for the first time.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Penny Wong

'The most hurtful argument in the marriage equality debate'

Labor frontbencher Penny Wong is used to to hearing arguments against same-sex marriage. But for Australia's most prominent gay politician, one hurts more than others.

Does exercise have to be fun to work?

Some things in life are inherently served with a big scoop of fun: balloons, bubbles, cupcakes to name but a few, but exercise?

Hair dye gives woman second-degree burns

She wanted a fresh colour for 2016, but instead she got chemical burns.

Kelly Slater saves mum and toddler from 'freak wave'

A Perth family has thanked US surfing "legend" Kelly Slater after the star saved a mother and a young toddler from "a freak wave" in Hawaii.

Apple recalls millions of power adapters

Tech giant instigates massive international recall of power point adapters due to risk of electric shock.

Toddler's adorable alphabet goes viral

It's impossible not to share this little boy's excitement  about the alphabet.

Tot's nighttime waking saves family's life

Like all tired parents, Monique and Kyle Ruppel were looking forward to the day their 15-month-old daughter Celia would start sleeping through the night. 

Australian mum gives birth to quintuplets

An Australian mum who has shared the ups and downs of carrying quintuplets has welcomed her five babies into the world.

Dad of four girls faints at gender reveal for fifth baby

It was all too much excitement for this dad.

The simple way you can help your baby's language development

The way parents respond to their child's babbling can shape how their infants communicate.

Zika virus is 'spreading explosively': WHO

The World Health Organization announced that it will convene an emergency meeting about Zika.

National database recommended for child protection cases

Baby Ebony was repeatedly failed by the agencies tasked with her protection before her horrific death at the hands of her father, South Australia's deputy coroner says.

Hospitals put babies at risk by ignoring policy on elective caesareans

Thirty-eight weeks or 39? Non-medical factors are pushing women to have elective caesareans earlier than official guidelines - and hospitals are playing along.

Police help deliver baby on busy roadside

Two police officers delivered more than a traffic fine by the side of a busy Melbourne road yesterday.

1D's Louis Tomlinson shares first photo of baby

One Direction's Louis Tomlinson has posted the first picture of his baby boy, Freddie, on social media.

 

FREE TICKET

See Hi-5 LIVE in Melbourne!

Get your ticket to The Essential Baby & Toddler Show - register online now!

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.