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Miscarriage at 10 weeks
Letting go of a little sadness

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#1 briebird

Posted 11 February 2013 - 11:21 AM

I am new to this, but thought sharing my feelings would help a little.  I miscarried 6 days ago at 10 weeks and am struggling to come to terms with it all.

Over the last few days I have gone through ups and downs and yesterday thought I was starting to get on top of it all.  However today was my first day back at work since it all happened (I haven't told work what happened, just that I was unwell) and after the first person asked how I was I burst into tears.  I'm finding that the hardest part is getting back to my normal routine but knowing I'm no longer pregnant.

Everyone says I'm being so strong, but I feel so helpless.  I am only 28 and this was my first pregnancy, so a lot of people are saying I'll be fine and I'm still young etc.  But that doesn't help me feel any better.  I also don't have anyone that has been through this to talk to as none of my friends have had children and only 1 has been pregnant, well is pregnant which makes it worse.

I guess all I wanted to do in this forum is write down my feelings and somehow doing it within a group of women feels good.

Thank you for listening and for anyone going through this too, my heart goes out to you and your family.  Know that there are other women going through what you are and that we are here if you need a shoulder to cry on.

#2 LovenFire

Posted 11 February 2013 - 11:35 AM

It is so tough, so tough to come back and find "normal" again.  Will it happen - yes, but it will be a different "normal".

I lost a bub at 6-7 weeks, was young, was my first and I remember just feeling so so lost and so heartbroken.  Of course you're still young and of course it happens but none of that changes the intensity or validity of your grief.  

I feel for you sweetie, do what you need to do to get through.  I would suggest though, that you tell one someone at work, or somebody outside of your relationship (same with your partner) - it gives you the chance to talk to someone without worrying about compounding your partner's grief at the loss too.

Take care

#3 ChilliDog

Posted 11 February 2013 - 11:37 AM

bbighug.gif OP ... It's such a difficult thing to be going through.

I had a MC in Nov last year at 10.5 weeks so I know what you're going through. It was also my first pregnancy after a year of TTC so I was pretty devastated.

All I can suggest is to cry if you feel you need to, don't bottle things up. Talk to your partner and let him know how you're feeling. I found my DH didn't really understand what I was going through (men just dont understand as its not to real for them at that stage) but I told him I just needed his support and lots of hugs and a shoulder to cry on when I was feeling down. Once I explained he didn't need to do anything to 'fix' things he was wonderful!

Give yourself the time to grieve because as soon as you get that second line on a test you start planning, imagining the future and getting excited. It's impossible not to. You had a baby growing within you and that's a very hard thing to lose.

Hope you start to feel better soon xx

#4 Princesspeachzz

Posted 11 February 2013 - 06:51 PM

Bluebird, I'm so sorry for your loss. I also recently lost my son. 17w5d. I felt such gut wrenching sadness. So hard to look at myself in the mirror at my now flatter stomach. Knowing that there used to be a baby in there and now there isn't was the hardest.  My GP referred me to a psychologist/counsellor under the Medicare mental health plan. (The hospital social worker said that Medicare can cover up to ten sessions). Dn,t be afraid to ask your gp. The counsellor has been so helpful giving me coping techniques for my grief. Also with some relaxation techniques to help with the anguish and anxiety. What has also helped has been putting together a memory box. All the ultrasound pictures etc along with a letter that I wrote to my bub. Putting everything in place and my feelings onto paper has really helped. Even now weeks after, I find it hard to go back to a routine. Can only suggest heck with the routine and allow yourself more time to grieve your loss.

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