Jump to content

Miscarriage at 10 weeks
Letting go of a little sadness


  • Please log in to reply
3 replies to this topic

#1 briebird

Posted 11 February 2013 - 11:21 AM

I am new to this, but thought sharing my feelings would help a little.  I miscarried 6 days ago at 10 weeks and am struggling to come to terms with it all.

Over the last few days I have gone through ups and downs and yesterday thought I was starting to get on top of it all.  However today was my first day back at work since it all happened (I haven't told work what happened, just that I was unwell) and after the first person asked how I was I burst into tears.  I'm finding that the hardest part is getting back to my normal routine but knowing I'm no longer pregnant.

Everyone says I'm being so strong, but I feel so helpless.  I am only 28 and this was my first pregnancy, so a lot of people are saying I'll be fine and I'm still young etc.  But that doesn't help me feel any better.  I also don't have anyone that has been through this to talk to as none of my friends have had children and only 1 has been pregnant, well is pregnant which makes it worse.

I guess all I wanted to do in this forum is write down my feelings and somehow doing it within a group of women feels good.

Thank you for listening and for anyone going through this too, my heart goes out to you and your family.  Know that there are other women going through what you are and that we are here if you need a shoulder to cry on.

#2 LovenFire

Posted 11 February 2013 - 11:35 AM

It is so tough, so tough to come back and find "normal" again.  Will it happen - yes, but it will be a different "normal".

I lost a bub at 6-7 weeks, was young, was my first and I remember just feeling so so lost and so heartbroken.  Of course you're still young and of course it happens but none of that changes the intensity or validity of your grief.  

I feel for you sweetie, do what you need to do to get through.  I would suggest though, that you tell one someone at work, or somebody outside of your relationship (same with your partner) - it gives you the chance to talk to someone without worrying about compounding your partner's grief at the loss too.

Take care

#3 ChilliDog

Posted 11 February 2013 - 11:37 AM

bbighug.gif OP ... It's such a difficult thing to be going through.

I had a MC in Nov last year at 10.5 weeks so I know what you're going through. It was also my first pregnancy after a year of TTC so I was pretty devastated.

All I can suggest is to cry if you feel you need to, don't bottle things up. Talk to your partner and let him know how you're feeling. I found my DH didn't really understand what I was going through (men just dont understand as its not to real for them at that stage) but I told him I just needed his support and lots of hugs and a shoulder to cry on when I was feeling down. Once I explained he didn't need to do anything to 'fix' things he was wonderful!

Give yourself the time to grieve because as soon as you get that second line on a test you start planning, imagining the future and getting excited. It's impossible not to. You had a baby growing within you and that's a very hard thing to lose.

Hope you start to feel better soon xx

#4 Princesspeachzz

Posted 11 February 2013 - 06:51 PM

Bluebird, I'm so sorry for your loss. I also recently lost my son. 17w5d. I felt such gut wrenching sadness. So hard to look at myself in the mirror at my now flatter stomach. Knowing that there used to be a baby in there and now there isn't was the hardest.  My GP referred me to a psychologist/counsellor under the Medicare mental health plan. (The hospital social worker said that Medicare can cover up to ten sessions). Dn,t be afraid to ask your gp. The counsellor has been so helpful giving me coping techniques for my grief. Also with some relaxation techniques to help with the anguish and anxiety. What has also helped has been putting together a memory box. All the ultrasound pictures etc along with a letter that I wrote to my bub. Putting everything in place and my feelings onto paper has really helped. Even now weeks after, I find it hard to go back to a routine. Can only suggest heck with the routine and allow yourself more time to grieve your loss.


1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Share the little things that make you smile

We're giving away a Mountain Buggy nano, the ultimate travel stroller - and here are some of the great entries so far.

Toddler pleads for return of "stolen" nose

A two-year-old's reaction to a game of "got your nose" shows it doesn't take much to make a toddler cry.

The 15 photos new parents share (and five they don't)

From the first scan photo to the baby covered in cake at their first birthday party, there are 15 photos most parents seem to share - and some they don't.

Doctor sings first Happy Birthday to newborns

His job is to deliver babies, but this US obstetrician also has a unique way of celebrating the miracle of life.

Breastfeeding friendly café goes viral

A photo of a breastfeeding-friendly sign in a cafe has been posted to Facebook and shared by hundreds of mums around the world.

First look at the Bugaboo Bee3

The newest Bugaboo Bee ? the Bee3 ? offers a variety of improved features, including a much asked-for bassinet and a rainbow of colour combinations.

Childcare costs, not paid leave, the real issue for parents

Given the choice between maintaining their wage for six months to have a child, or having a reduced rate of pay for a time but a better deal on childcare when returning to work, there are no odds on what most working parents would choose.

Win a Mountain Buggy nano

We?re giving away the new Mountain Buggy Nano - the lightweight travel buggy! So show us the little things that make you smile for your chance to win.

We lost three babies in two years

Our first pregnancy ended the way we all expected it to - with a healthy, happy baby in our arms. What a true blessing he was, for we were not to know the heartache we were about endure.

Family turned back from doomed flight MH17

'There must have been someone watching over us and saying, 'You must not get on that flight,' says mother who narrowly avoided boarding the Malaysian Airlines flight which exploded in mid-air over the Ukraine last night.

The myths and facts about "normal" breastfeeding

When it comes to successful breastfeeding, there is a wide variety to what is "normal", according to new research.

Adorable Skeanie loafers for kids

Your little toddler or preschooler can now get their nautical on with a new range of classic loafers by Australian show brand Skeanie.

My baby is hypermobile

For months, I have been telling myself not to worry that Jasmin isn't crawling or walking. This week I heard the term hypermobile for the first time.

When you don?t bond with your baby

They say that there is no bond greater than the bond between a mother and her child. But for some women, the mother-baby bond takes more time and effort to develop.

Yumi Stynes: Having a baby after a 10-year break

After a long break, Yumi Stynes gets a reminder of the pain - and the pleasure - of giving birth.

Grieving father asks for help to Photoshop his daughter's image

When Nathan Steffel's daughter Sophia died from a liver condition at just 6 weeks old, he reached out for someone to create a beautiful image of his little girl.

Raising kids in a 'low media' home

Can you imagine a life without TV or computers? Some parents are opting for a low-tech, screen-free life for their kids.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win a Mountain Buggy nano

We?re giving away the new Mountain Buggy Nano - the lightweight travel buggy! So show us the little things that make you smile for your chance to win.

Be careful what you say, your baby is listening

The importance of speaking to your baby even if they are not old enough to answer back has been highlighted by new research.

The beautiful moment a baby was born at the side of a road

It's not where she expected to give birth, but mum Corrine Cinatl is delighted that her daughter's roadside arrival was captured in a series of beautiful photos.

Doctor sings first Happy Birthday to newborns

His job is to deliver babies, but this US obstetrician also has a unique way of celebrating the miracle of life.

The Nappy Collective starts new drive

It's that time of year when the dedicated volunteers at The Nappy Collective do their bit to help out mums and children in need - and they need your help.

Baby shower cake wrecks

From misshapen cake babies to questionable text, from odd colour choices to internal organ recreation, these are the baby shower cakes that taste forgot.

Photographer captures the beauty of adoption

The love of a family is usually tough to capture on camera. This is an exception.

Pregnancy progression photo ideas

Want to record your pregnancy as your belly grows? Here are some creative, fun ideas for photo shoots along the way.

The myths and facts about "normal" breastfeeding

When it comes to successful breastfeeding, there is a wide variety to what is "normal", according to new research.

Tin can craft and DIY ideas

Got a few old formula, Milo or coffee cans around the house? Use these fantastic upcycling ideas to create items for around the house and yard.

Dads meet their newborn for the first time

Emotional photos of two fathers meeting their newborn son have resonated with viewers worldwide, attracting thousands of Facebook likes and shares.

Skin safety isn't just a summer worry

Lax about the slip slop slap with your kids as weather turns cooler? Here's a reminder as to why we have to remain vigilant for our children?s future health.

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

Creative sleeping baby photoshoots

See how some parents and photographers have captured sleeping babies in unusual positions and using different props.

DIY kitchen and food hacks

DIY your way to a better kitchen and make cooking easier with our clever hacks. (Some content reproduced with permission from mashable.com.)

Winter warmers for babies and toddlers

Your baby or toddler will be nice and snug in these beautiful and fun winter pieces. Most are hand-made or knitted, and they're all designed to keep your little one toastie - and adorable!

 

Mind, body, beauty, life

Making time for me

We look at your wellbeing, covering health, relationships, beauty and fashion, mind and body.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.