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Teenage parties - have we gone mad?


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#1 Lifesgood

Posted 10 February 2013 - 07:54 AM

150 invited guests to a 15 y/o birthday party? 160 to a 16 y/o party? Security guards, guest lists and photo ID at the door, bag checks etc ending in police being called and party shut down.

Is this really becoming the accepted norm for those that can afford it? It seems completely and utterly ridiculous.

#2 Fr0g

Posted 10 February 2013 - 08:11 AM

I thought you got "$1 in pocket for each year of your age" not "10 kids invited to your party for each year of your age"!!

I don't know if it's the norm... I tend not to move in circles with people who can either afford or have the inclination, to throw teenage parties like that!

#3 liveworkplay

Posted 10 February 2013 - 08:11 AM

Totally over the top imo.

#4 Ireckon

Posted 10 February 2013 - 08:15 AM

What 15 y.o. knows 150 kids to invite???

#5 axiomae

Posted 10 February 2013 - 08:15 AM

Depends where you live. In urban areas it's very typical. In rural areas, not so much. It's not so easy for students (whoops, can't you tell I'm a secondary teacher!) to get to parties and not so easy to invite others randomly via social networks and SMS.

#6 .Jerry.

Posted 10 February 2013 - 08:23 AM

I am shocked at how teenage parties have evolved.
Most parties that my friend's 16 year old goes to lately involve
- a cover charge of about $10
- security guards (who end up being useless when the hordes arrive)
- alcohol
- over 100 people + gate crashers
- DJs
- Almost no food
-being shut down by police.

These parties are for seemingly "normal" kids in a normal neighbourhood.

I think things are out of control at the moment and there is no way I would be hosting a teenaged party.

#7 Ritaroo

Posted 10 February 2013 - 08:29 AM

QUOTE (Ireckon @ 10/02/2013, 08:15 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
What 15 y.o. knows 150 kids to invite???


Exactly! I don't know 150 people now to invite, let alone when I was 15. Totally ridiculous.

#8 ~Mintie~

Posted 10 February 2013 - 08:35 AM

It is absolutely ridiculous. We had one recently across the street from us, that then moved onto the street. Bottles smashed, kids screaming as fights broke out, our neighbour had a bottle thrown at their front door. It was quite terrifying. Thank goodness for the police but far out, they shouldn't have to deal with this sort of problem. I'm shocked that some parents allow and assist in organising these parties. Surely they can just tell their kids no.

#9 GoneWithTheWhinge

Posted 10 February 2013 - 08:36 AM

Not in my house.

And my nearly 14yo would have more sense than to even suggest something as ludicrous as that for his birthday celebration. I've not heard any of his 14/15yo friends having parties like this (or seen any pictures on his FB) and he, like many kids that age seems to be friends with everybody and, like many of his friends has 120+ FB friends which isn't too difficult when a high school year group is around 200 at his school, plus friends from out of school, his old school, sports etc etc

#10 MrsLexiK

Posted 10 February 2013 - 08:39 AM

I remember 16th's like that. I don't think they are a new thing

#11 Bel Rowley

Posted 10 February 2013 - 08:49 AM

Wow. This sounds nothing like any 15th or 16th I ever attended, but then for me having 150 kids at a party would've meant inviting the entire high school, plus the entire high schools from two neighbouring towns!

#12 ComradeBob

Posted 10 February 2013 - 08:50 AM

No, they're not a new thing. I certainly remember being at teenage parties with alcohol and gatcrashers who wrecked the place. I remember kids a couple of years older than me and my friends throwing all the furniture off the balcony at one party I was at, I remember people shagging in any bed they could find, a whole lot of things like that. And this is 25+ years ago.

The main thing that is different now are the numbers of gatecrashers, in the days before Facebook, you'd never get that many, but now with the power of the internet, suddenly it's hundreds rather than dozens.....

#13 whatnamenow

Posted 10 February 2013 - 08:51 AM

QUOTE (MrsLexiK @ 10/02/2013, 08:39 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I remember 16th's like that. I don't think they are a new thing


me too..  ones where the taxi's headlights coming to pick us up made the road shimmer with all the glass on the road. and kids had to quickly patch up doors that had been smashed in and replace a graden hose that had had an aweful lot of its length been creatively repurposed and the evidence of that having to be fished out of the pool.

Also another one where we turned the corner to show up and realised it could/probably already was completly out of control and just walked away.



#14 Nepheline

Posted 10 February 2013 - 09:02 AM

QUOTE (.Jerry. @ 10/02/2013, 09:23 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I am shocked at how teenage parties have evolved.
Most parties that my friend's 16 year old goes to lately involve
- a cover charge of about $10
- security guards (who end up being useless when the hordes arrive)
- alcohol
- over 100 people + gate crashers
- DJs
- Almost no food
-being shut down by police.


This sounds just like every 16th party I went to as a teen, and that was 12 years ago. I think it depends where you are. I had 200 kids in my year level in high school.

#15 JustBeige

Posted 10 February 2013 - 09:17 AM

QUOTE (GoneWithTheWhinge @ 10/02/2013, 09:36 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Not in my house.
Mine either.


QUOTE (WingBob @ 10/02/2013, 09:50 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
No, they're not a new thing. I certainly remember being at teenage parties with alcohol and gatcrashers who wrecked the place. And this is 25+ years ago.

The main thing that is different now are the numbers of gatecrashers, in the days before Facebook, you'd never get that many, but now with the power of the internet, suddenly it's hundreds rather than dozens.....

agree.

It really boils down to the parents controlling / managing the party.

DH and I have already decided that our two will only have parties at a venue inside the club.  That way we can see who comes in and who doesnt and you wont get the 1000 gatecrashers that you seem to.

#16 FeralProudSwahili

Posted 10 February 2013 - 09:20 AM

Holy heck. Not the norm in my world.

#17 BadCat

Posted 10 February 2013 - 09:28 AM

Parties like that were never my scene.  Nor are they likely to be my children's scene.  We're more the "get a few good friends together and do something fun" people.  

Fun for me has never involved getting off my face with drink or drugs.  If I found myself at a party like WingBob described with people turfing furniture off the balcony, I'd be out of there like a shot.

#18 Coffeegirl

Posted 10 February 2013 - 09:30 AM

I had a party like this when I was 17.   I'm (cough,cough) 41 now.  Mum and Dd went away and I decided to have a party.  

Didn't start out that big, but word of mouth made it huge.   Luckily we didn't have any damage, but the cops did break it up.   Rural property. We had an over 18 rugby team from the next town over show up.  But no rioting or fighting.  In fact everyone helped me clean up after the cops shut us down.  

My parents would have never known except one of Dad's mates had a police scanner.




IMO, if the parents themselves are inviting so many kids that they need security and bag checks at 16-17 then they maybe need to rethink the whole idea of a party.  


#19 LynnyP

Posted 10 February 2013 - 10:46 AM

My daughter goes to an E - 12 school.  They are having a series of talks for the parents and separate ones for the students in years 9 and 10 on safe partying, holding a safe party, responsible invitations, etc. as they can be frightening.

We are still at the stage where laser skirmish is pushing the envelope and my son had dungeons and dragons gatherings so we haven't experienced this.

Edited by LynnyP, 10 February 2013 - 10:46 AM.


#20 Lifesgood

Posted 10 February 2013 - 11:08 AM

For those of you who say this is the norm in your world, why is it that teenagers want or need a party like that? Is it peer pressure? To make them feel really popular? Something else?

And why do parents allow/support it? Is it that they want their teenagers to have what they see other people's teenagers having? Some other reason?

Is it because they have had such elaborate parties from age 1 that this is what it escalates to by age 15?

#21 Arthur or Martha

Posted 10 February 2013 - 11:21 AM

.....................

Edited by ambwrose, 04 September 2013 - 06:57 PM.


#22 TenYears

Posted 10 February 2013 - 11:30 AM

QUOTE
Is it because they have had such elaborate parties from age 1 that this is what it escalates to by age 15?



These days, in Sydney at least, the police do recommend that if you are having a party at home - even if it's a small party (a real party with music and food and so on - not four kids in front of a pile of DVDs, of course)  and your kid and their friends are nice,  you register your party with them and hire security.  Not because little Jilly had a jumping castle at her first birthday party, but because some people are dicks.  And while there have always been dicks out there, mobile phones and facebooks have given them whole new ways to demonstrate their dickheadry.  

It's not about the kids who got fancy parties as littlies - it's about the uninvited kids who didn't have boundaries and manners taught to them in their early years.  According to the police, about one in ten teenage parties end up having a serious gatecrashing incident. regardless of how carefully the parents planned them.  The actual numbers of parties being gatecrashed apparently hasn't changed, but the number of gatecrashers and the level of violence involved apparently has.


QUOTE
IMO, if the parents themselves are inviting so many kids that they need security and bag checks at 16-17 then they maybe need to rethink the whole idea of a party.


You could invite 20 nice kids and still end up with an unmanageable number of gatecrashers (because some people are dicks).  I actually suspect that inviting more folk is an attempt to reduce the pool of potential gatecrashers.  Unfortunately it only increases the number of friends-of-friends-of-friends who learn about the party on facebook.

There is no way in hell I'd have a teenage party at home, for any number of kids, without hiring security.  But in all honestly I think I'll encourage my kids down the small-group-at-a-restaurant path when the time comes.  It's a shame they won't be able to have what I would consider a normal teenage party, but it would also be a shame if an invited guest got impaled through the head by a steel bar thrown over the fence by some moron who couldn't get in.

Edited by Eight.years, 10 February 2013 - 11:31 AM.


#23 IShallWearMidnight

Posted 10 February 2013 - 11:34 AM

QUOTE (MrsLexiK @ 10/02/2013, 06:39 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I remember 16th's like that. I don't think they are a new thing

same, and I'm not exactly a spring chicken

#24 StopTheGoats

Posted 10 February 2013 - 11:37 AM

Not all parties are like this. I know a number of teenagers who have turned 16 recently, some of whom were rich and some of whom were poor and they all had parties similar to the ones I attended when I was 16.

#25 JuliaGulia

Posted 10 February 2013 - 11:48 AM

My 17 year old had a party last year.  It involved a guest list of around 35 people who were greeted at the front door and ticked off the list, music, food and no alcohol (well, some was smuggled in but we managed to confiscate most of it).  Almost all of the guests were from his school (boys) and the sister school down the road.

He's been to a series of similar parties over the last 18 months or so, although some have been much more lax about alcohol.  None has been raided by police, gatecrashed or required paramedic support.




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