Jump to content

Middle name dilemma


  • Please log in to reply
7 replies to this topic

#1 Emmaleee

Posted 09 February 2013 - 09:00 PM

Hi all

We are expecting our first in just a few short weeks, we have a few boys and girls names are are happy to just wait and choose from our short list when we meet the little thing.

My problem is this; If we have a boy I had planned to honor my grandfather by using his name (Kelvin) as his middle name. Of late though we have had some issues within the family, its a very long story but basically i have a teenage brother who has some issues including anger problems, inability to get or maintain a job, smokes/ drinks/ whoknows what else etc... recently this has escalated because my grandmother keeps trying to get involved, refuses to support my mum in her parenting decisions, phones to say heartless things like 'tell your brother unless he can sort out his act i want nothing to do with him' etc- all lovely things from the people who are supposed to support and champion their grandchildren... My grandfather is legally blind and hearing imparied, so really he only knows of the situation whatever rubbish grandma decides to feed him, and so i havent had so much to do with him lately.

i don't know if i will regret using Kelvin as a middle name now... it could be that the whole thing cools down, or it could get worse. I would hate to name my son after someone who i could no longer idolise respect.... i'm just really unsure about the whole thing now.

I have a couple of other middle names up my sleeve, but nothing that has the meaning this name did when i first chose it.

Advice anyone?

#2 Gudrun

Posted 09 February 2013 - 09:11 PM

I haven't got any advice. Seems like a specific personal situation and you don't know how you'll feel one way or the other.

However, this stranger really likes the name Kelvin, and I know that is mighty irrelevant.

Maybe you could use the family surname as MN instead, leaving it open to honour whoever or just to have that side of the family represented in the name as a heritage thing. And you can choose how you or your son see it according to how you feel down the track.

#3 Musk Sticks

Posted 09 February 2013 - 09:25 PM

As you said yourself, your grandfather only knows what your grandmother tells him.

I assume that if you want to honour your grandfather by using his name, that you must respect him and have a good relationship or fond memories of him.

I would use the name regardless of your grandmother's meddling.

Your grandmother's present actions do not change the person your grandfather is and the reasons you initially wanted to use his name.



#4 redmum77

Posted 11 February 2013 - 11:03 AM

Hmmm, I think if I wasn't sure I'd pick a dead family member to honour, then nothing can change down the track. Sounds heartless but my DDs middle name is my ex husbands sisters name - and after the birth she has only seen dd once. Dd is 8! Waste of a name. You could find out your grandfathers fathers name, or something like that so its one step removed. No one is perfect, but if you are already unsure then maybe another option is better?

#5 ~THE~MAGICIAN~

Posted 11 February 2013 - 11:36 AM

Do what I do.

Give your child a middle name they will love as much as their first. Use a name that you would love to use as a first name too. That way if they really hate their first name, the can use their middle name later on in life.

Don't name after a family member. Give them their own name.



#6 Feral Madam Mim

Posted 11 February 2013 - 11:49 AM

If you are unsure then I wouldn't use it, or I would go round and try to speak with him in person, get a feel of the situation from his view, might help make up your mind.

#7 FiveAus

Posted 11 February 2013 - 12:17 PM

None of my kids were saddled with other people's names. Like a previous poster, mine all have middle names I'd be happy to use as first names.
For their generation, none of their names would have been in the top 50 (although a couple made it there when they were older) but their middle names were ones I liked from the popular names of the times. That way, if they decided they didn't like their first names, they had a stock standard popular name to use instead.

#8 la di dah

Posted 11 February 2013 - 12:55 PM

Personally, my relationship with my grandparents was only somewhat related to their relationship w/ my parents.

Honestly my paternal grandmother wasn't a completely great mother and as a MIL she was hell on wheels, but as a Grandmom? We were quite close and I loved her a lot and its not going to salt the earth with my parents if I name after her (though I know neither of my parents need me to name after her, either).

Now, its a bit easier for me as my grandmother was both diagnosed with MI and thus some of her worst stuff was literally her in involuntary committal and not full-on responsible for saying b**chy things, and also she's been dead since I was 14 and really the relationship is thus as stable as they get, but honestly what she's said to my mom over the years is largely aside the point.

Do you want to name after your grandfather? Or would you rather not? That'd be the question to me, not what your grandmother's been phoning other relatives about.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Heartwarming prank gives single mum the house she was hired to clean

Cara Simmons arrived at work to clean a large and beautiful house in time for a party planned for that evening. It was soon hers.

Why we should stop telling new parents to 'enjoy every moment'

A few weeks ago, some dear friends of mine had their first baby. As the proud dad texted me a picture I had to fight the natural instinct to say “Enjoy every moment!”

Transgender dad breastfeeds his babies

A transgender man who breastfed his first baby - despite having his breasts removed as part of his transformation from female to male - has now had a second child.

Couple face $1 million medical bill and bankruptcy after babymoon birth

A Canadian couple were slammed with a million dollar medical bill after their daughter was prematurely during their babymoon.

Win one of 5 Little Tikes Cozy Coupe Sport

Australia?s No 1 selling car is now available in a Sports model and we have 5 to give away to some lucky Essential Baby families.

Cigarettes, junk food dominate supermarket sales growth

One in every five dollars spent at supermarkets goes on cigarettes or junk food, according to industry data.

Teacher under fire for breastfeeding in class

There is no doubt mums have a right to continue breastfeeding after they have returned to work, but one teacher in the US has taken it to the extreme.

Video: Baby sniffs beardless dad to make sure it's him

She looks him up and down and then touches his chin, but baby Lindsey still isn't sure this clean-shaven man is her dad.

The tragedy of losing a favourite teddy bear

We were green and uninitiated, perhaps a little naïve when it came to the favourite toy responsibility.

It's possible to workout while pregnant

Medical experts say intense fitness routines can be done safely during pregnancy - if the mums-to-be follow some guidelines.

Baby for Asher Keddie and Vincent Fantauzzo

Fans followed every step of her on-screen pregnancy in Offspring, now Asher Keddie is going to be a mum in real life too.

What parents really want for their kids

Are our hopes, dreams and expectations for our children what they really need?

'I had a feeling something was seriously wrong': the fight for Kaden's diagnosis

Before even giving birth, Katie Myers' maternal instincts warned her something was wrong with her baby.

When your pregnancy causes a relationship rift

Some dads-to-be don't miss a beat when their partner is pregnant; others struggle with a range of issues and can become withdrawn, right when their support is needed most.

Couple uses group photo trick to announce pregnancy to loved ones

Katharine and Kris Camilli devised a clever trick to immortalise their family and friends' reaction to their exciting pregnancy news.

Why Tracey Spicer has given up make-up

"After 30 years on television, I had become what I despised: a painted doll who spent an hour a day and close to $200 a week putting on a mask."

Empowering bikini photo of 46-year-old mum goes viral

When a group of teenagers made rude remarks about her body as she walked past them in a bikini at the local beach, Julie Cross refused to cover up.

Devastated widow discovers she's pregnant the day before husband's funeral

They had been trying to conceive a baby for seven years. Tragically Kristy Kirchner found out she was pregnant the day before her husband Royce's funeral.

Win a family pass to Disney Live!

We have 4 family passes to give away to see Disney Live! presents Three Classic Fairy Tales, touring Australia this December/January.

Gabriella Goat sues Peppa Pig

Every toddler's favourite television pig is being sued by an Italian woman who shares a name with a Peppa Pig character.

Meet the Mpregs, the male pregnancy enthusiasts

"Men can't have babies - that's something only women can do! But our community is full of like-minded people who wish otherwise."

Your new motherhood survival kit

Forget about the bright, pretty baby things - while you're in survival mode, all you'll need are the essentials.

More than 100,000 cars recalled globally after death of pregnant woman

The announcement of a mass recall comes as Malaysian police investigate the death of pregnant woman in July.

I had a 'good baby' but still suffered from postnatal depression

I had a much wanted precious baby girl, a 'good baby' who slept well, self settled and was mostly content. It just seemed implausible to think I could succumb to depression.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win one of 5 Little Tikes Cozy Coupe Sport

Australia?s No 1 selling car is now available in a Sports model and we have 5 to give away to some lucky Essential Baby families.

Join PADDINGTON on the red carpet!

To celebrate the release of PADDINGTON, we are giving five lucky winners the chance to win a family pass to the exclusive Australian Premiere in Sydney on December 7!

Knowing you are one of the lucky ones

I am secure, confident and strong, but the responsibility of protecting my children can almost bring me undone.

Why I am so emotional now I have kids?

There are so many ways in which parenthood changes us as women, but one of the most noticeable, for me, has been the changing state of my emotions.

Baby survives despite sharing womb with 'foreign body'

Baby Maia was conceived against the odds, only to find she was sharing a womb with an ominous "foreign body".

Video: Baby shows dog how to jump - or vice versa

They say dog is man's best friend, but this playful pooch seems to have chosen a jumping baby as her number one buddy.

10 ways to soothe a crying baby

New paernts can get frustrated when their newborn gets fussy and can't settle down. When you're feeling overwhelmed, try some of these simple tips to help soothe your baby.

20 baby names that are becoming more popular every year

The data-lovers at nameberry.com have been at it again – this time, they’ve discovered the names that are continually rising up the ranks, ready to take out some top spots in the next few years.

10 great meals to make for new parents

Ideally, you want to give food that isn’t expensive to make, isn't too difficult to create, and freezes well; stews, bakes, soups and pasta sauces are perfect.

'It's not you, it's me': Boston bombing survivor mum to have leg amputated

Rebekah DiMartino is going through a break-up. She even wrote a farewell love letter. But it's not to her husband.

What it's like to go through early menopause

In a cruel twist, Carla had been breastfeeding and perimenopausal at the same time. But she's far from the only one to go through menopause early.

Restaurant served alcohol to two-year-old

Busy restaurants can be forgiven for getting food and drink orders mixed up from time to time, but not when the confusion leads to a two-year-old being served an alcoholic cocktail instead of the child-friendly beverage they ordered.

Julia Morris tells of miscarriage on a flight

Julia Morris has spoken about the devastation of suffering a miscarriage while on an international flight.

Woman's survival after birth 'a story of two miracles'

A US mother is home and tending to her new baby less than a month after surviving without a pulse for 45 minutes.

Eating ice may give mental boost to the iron deficient: study

A new study proposes that, like a strong cup of coffee, ice may give those with insufficient iron a much-needed mental boost.

Tiny lives in caring hands: Thank U NICU Day

Each year in Australia, over 40,000 newborns need the help of a special care nursery or neonatal intensive care unit. One day a year, the staff are honoured by the parents they help through those dark days.

I paid $50,000 to have a girl

This time my husband and I hadn't taken any chances. We had paid $50,000 and travelled 13,000 kilometres to make sure the baby growing inside me was female.

Weird pregnancy products

Some pregnancy products come to market and are just awesome. Others just leave you scratching your head.

Dear firstborn, I'm sorry

Being a first-time mum is tough for so many reasons – particularly because you really have no idea what you're doing.

A trace of sesame could kill my son

Helen Richardson son's had two anaphylactic reactions in a month. It's traumatic for everyone.

When you know before the test says yes

It wasn't a pregnancy test or missed period that told me I was pregnant with my second baby; it was too early for those things. A doner kebab told me I was going to be a mum again.

What not to do when your partner is in labour

Robbie Williams stole the show during his wife Ayda's labour, pretty much demonstrating everything on the "what not to do when your partner is in labour" list.

Best maternity swimwear and beach cover-ups

Thinking about a tropical babymoon but have nothing to wear? Here are some great swimwear and beach cover-up options for mums-to-be.

'Chopstick Baby' born at 23 weeks

Given the nickname of 'Chopstick Baby' by local media, a baby born weighing 660g has survived a week outside the womb.

 

How many weeks til Christmas?

On your To-Do list

Get the "Santa" shopping done without the kids in tow.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.