Jump to content

Middle name dilemma


  • Please log in to reply
7 replies to this topic

#1 Emmaleee

Posted 09 February 2013 - 09:00 PM

Hi all

We are expecting our first in just a few short weeks, we have a few boys and girls names are are happy to just wait and choose from our short list when we meet the little thing.

My problem is this; If we have a boy I had planned to honor my grandfather by using his name (Kelvin) as his middle name. Of late though we have had some issues within the family, its a very long story but basically i have a teenage brother who has some issues including anger problems, inability to get or maintain a job, smokes/ drinks/ whoknows what else etc... recently this has escalated because my grandmother keeps trying to get involved, refuses to support my mum in her parenting decisions, phones to say heartless things like 'tell your brother unless he can sort out his act i want nothing to do with him' etc- all lovely things from the people who are supposed to support and champion their grandchildren... My grandfather is legally blind and hearing imparied, so really he only knows of the situation whatever rubbish grandma decides to feed him, and so i havent had so much to do with him lately.

i don't know if i will regret using Kelvin as a middle name now... it could be that the whole thing cools down, or it could get worse. I would hate to name my son after someone who i could no longer idolise respect.... i'm just really unsure about the whole thing now.

I have a couple of other middle names up my sleeve, but nothing that has the meaning this name did when i first chose it.

Advice anyone?

#2 Gudrun

Posted 09 February 2013 - 09:11 PM

I haven't got any advice. Seems like a specific personal situation and you don't know how you'll feel one way or the other.

However, this stranger really likes the name Kelvin, and I know that is mighty irrelevant.

Maybe you could use the family surname as MN instead, leaving it open to honour whoever or just to have that side of the family represented in the name as a heritage thing. And you can choose how you or your son see it according to how you feel down the track.

#3 Musk Sticks

Posted 09 February 2013 - 09:25 PM

As you said yourself, your grandfather only knows what your grandmother tells him.

I assume that if you want to honour your grandfather by using his name, that you must respect him and have a good relationship or fond memories of him.

I would use the name regardless of your grandmother's meddling.

Your grandmother's present actions do not change the person your grandfather is and the reasons you initially wanted to use his name.



#4 redmum77

Posted 11 February 2013 - 11:03 AM

Hmmm, I think if I wasn't sure I'd pick a dead family member to honour, then nothing can change down the track. Sounds heartless but my DDs middle name is my ex husbands sisters name - and after the birth she has only seen dd once. Dd is 8! Waste of a name. You could find out your grandfathers fathers name, or something like that so its one step removed. No one is perfect, but if you are already unsure then maybe another option is better?

#5 ~THE~MAGICIAN~

Posted 11 February 2013 - 11:36 AM

Do what I do.

Give your child a middle name they will love as much as their first. Use a name that you would love to use as a first name too. That way if they really hate their first name, the can use their middle name later on in life.

Don't name after a family member. Give them their own name.



#6 Feral Madam Mim

Posted 11 February 2013 - 11:49 AM

If you are unsure then I wouldn't use it, or I would go round and try to speak with him in person, get a feel of the situation from his view, might help make up your mind.

#7 FiveAus

Posted 11 February 2013 - 12:17 PM

None of my kids were saddled with other people's names. Like a previous poster, mine all have middle names I'd be happy to use as first names.
For their generation, none of their names would have been in the top 50 (although a couple made it there when they were older) but their middle names were ones I liked from the popular names of the times. That way, if they decided they didn't like their first names, they had a stock standard popular name to use instead.

#8 la di dah

Posted 11 February 2013 - 12:55 PM

Personally, my relationship with my grandparents was only somewhat related to their relationship w/ my parents.

Honestly my paternal grandmother wasn't a completely great mother and as a MIL she was hell on wheels, but as a Grandmom? We were quite close and I loved her a lot and its not going to salt the earth with my parents if I name after her (though I know neither of my parents need me to name after her, either).

Now, its a bit easier for me as my grandmother was both diagnosed with MI and thus some of her worst stuff was literally her in involuntary committal and not full-on responsible for saying b**chy things, and also she's been dead since I was 14 and really the relationship is thus as stable as they get, but honestly what she's said to my mom over the years is largely aside the point.

Do you want to name after your grandfather? Or would you rather not? That'd be the question to me, not what your grandmother's been phoning other relatives about.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Trying to speed up the inevitable

As the waiting game of late pregnancy continues, this mum considers a few things that might hurry things up a little.

One month later: where is William Tyrell?

It has been a little over a month since William Tyrell disappeared from his grandmother's home, 33 long sleepless nights for his family as they mourn the absence of their cheeky young boy.

Winter's child less likely to be moody: study

Babies born in the summer are much more likely to suffer from mood swings when they grow up, while those born in the winter are less likely to become irritable adults, scientists claim.

Single mum of two creates award-winning baby app

Suddenly single with a baby and an 11-year-old son, Tara O?Connell developed an app to improve the lives of mothers who were similarly overwhelmed.

Food for thought: looking after yourself as a new mum

As soon as your baby enters the world, everything else takes a back seat - even the necessities of daily life such as eating are severely compromised, right when you need energy the most.

'Grabbable guts' campaign aims to cut toxic fat

The Live Lighter campaign will take people inside the human body to show the internal dangers of being overweight.

The best and worst month of my life

A new mum's first month of motherhood didn't pan out as expected when she lost a family member weeks after her baby's birth.

Facebook and Apple offer to pay female staff to freeze their eggs

Facebook and Apple are hoping to provide women with the freedom to build their careers without the added pressure of having children at or by a certain age.

How a pregnancy contract could work for you and your partner

The idea of making a 'pregnancy contract' with your partner may sound a bit silly at first, but it can help make the transition to parenthood a lot smoother.

Finding a mum-friendly personal trainer

Burping babies vs burpees – yes, new mums and personal trainers live in different worlds. But they can work together - once you find the right match for you and your lifestyle.

Ambulance service under fire: baby seats to go, response times 'worse than ever'

The NSW Ambulance Service is removing child-safety seats from ambulances, while the Victorian service is facing criticism over lengthy response times following the death of a three-year-old.

Alleged baby snatch incident a ?misunderstanding?, say police

Police say that an incident in which a man pulled on a woman?s pram while walking a popular Sydney route late last month was a misunderstanding.

Ebola killed my aunt and is shutting down my country

Three weeks ago, my auntie, a midwife, developed a fever. Sitting here in Sydney basked in Australian sunshine, that shouldn't be big news.

The night my ovary burst

One mum shares her frightening experience and vows to never take her health for granted again.

Is e-reading to your toddler story time or just screen time?

When reading increasingly means swiping pages on a device, and we're advised to read to their children early and often, should parents be turning to e-readers for storytime?

Community mourns inspiring young dad

A young dad who fought a five-year battle with cancer has been remembered for his inspiring legacy at a funeral service attended by hundreds of family and friends this week.

Meningococcal kills Queensland toddler

Public health authorities say the death of a toddler in north Queensland from meningococcal disease highlights the danger the illness poses.

Nicole Kidman: 'I hope every month that I'm pregnant'

Nicole Kidman is hoping to add to her family, but says she's doubtful it will happen.

Recall: Aldi Wooden London Bus play set

Aldi has announced a recall of their popular Wooden London Bus play set.

Great gift ideas for first birthdays

From soft toys to balance bikes, here are some great ideas for first birthday gifts.

Mum learnt she was pregnant hours before giving birth

Kim Walsh arrived at the doctor with abdominal cramps. Hours later, she was cradling the baby experts told her she could never have.

How cancer has made me a better, happier person

I'm a far better person post-cancer than I ever was before. The goal now is to stay around long enough to find out who I can become, and what I can achieve.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

16 parenting truths you won't find in the baby books

I am five years into this parenting gig and I’ve learnt that sleepless nights and changing dirty nappies are child’s play.

Win 1 of 5 Canon Powershot D30 cameras

Capture life more easily with the Canon Powershot D30. Shockproof, waterproof and dustproof, you can take it almost anywhere and shoot beautiful images, time after time. Enter now!

Best and worst potty party cakes

It's nice to celebrate a child making the shift from nappies to 'big kid' undies, but do we really need a semi-realistic used toilet cake to do it? Here are some of the best and worst cakes parents have used at 'potty parties' around the world.

7 tips for a financially festive Christmas

Plan ahead - and do it now - to ensure festive season expenses don't break the bank.

'Go the F*** to Sleep' author's new book for frustrated parents

A sequel is coming soon to the 2011 hit book 'Go the F*** to Sleep' - and this time, it's about mealtimes.

Great birthday party buys from Etsy

Handmade crafts to decorate and personalise your child's next birthday - from banners to cake decorations, we've got gorgeous party finds from Etsy.

Creative storage ideas for the kids' rooms

Creative and practical storage ideas for the kids' toys and books can also add some stylish decor to your home. Visit babyology.com.au for more stylish modern finds for hip kids & parents.

Student shocked by surprise baby

Kate Hudson, 22, was on a dream European holiday with friends. She didn't realise she was about to become a mum.

To the mum in the doctor's waiting room

Maybe the mum I saw in that waiting room, seemingly disconnected from her baby, doesn’t have the support she needs.

10 space-saving nursery ideas

Starting a family doesn't always mean moving into a bigger house - not yet, anyway.

 

What's in a name?

Baby Names

Looking for a classic name, or an unusual name? Our Baby Name Finder is for you, search or browse to refine your shortlist.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.