Jump to content

Middle name dilemma


  • Please log in to reply
7 replies to this topic

#1 Emmaleee

Posted 09 February 2013 - 09:00 PM

Hi all

We are expecting our first in just a few short weeks, we have a few boys and girls names are are happy to just wait and choose from our short list when we meet the little thing.

My problem is this; If we have a boy I had planned to honor my grandfather by using his name (Kelvin) as his middle name. Of late though we have had some issues within the family, its a very long story but basically i have a teenage brother who has some issues including anger problems, inability to get or maintain a job, smokes/ drinks/ whoknows what else etc... recently this has escalated because my grandmother keeps trying to get involved, refuses to support my mum in her parenting decisions, phones to say heartless things like 'tell your brother unless he can sort out his act i want nothing to do with him' etc- all lovely things from the people who are supposed to support and champion their grandchildren... My grandfather is legally blind and hearing imparied, so really he only knows of the situation whatever rubbish grandma decides to feed him, and so i havent had so much to do with him lately.

i don't know if i will regret using Kelvin as a middle name now... it could be that the whole thing cools down, or it could get worse. I would hate to name my son after someone who i could no longer idolise respect.... i'm just really unsure about the whole thing now.

I have a couple of other middle names up my sleeve, but nothing that has the meaning this name did when i first chose it.

Advice anyone?

#2 Gudrun

Posted 09 February 2013 - 09:11 PM

I haven't got any advice. Seems like a specific personal situation and you don't know how you'll feel one way or the other.

However, this stranger really likes the name Kelvin, and I know that is mighty irrelevant.

Maybe you could use the family surname as MN instead, leaving it open to honour whoever or just to have that side of the family represented in the name as a heritage thing. And you can choose how you or your son see it according to how you feel down the track.

#3 Musk Sticks

Posted 09 February 2013 - 09:25 PM

As you said yourself, your grandfather only knows what your grandmother tells him.

I assume that if you want to honour your grandfather by using his name, that you must respect him and have a good relationship or fond memories of him.

I would use the name regardless of your grandmother's meddling.

Your grandmother's present actions do not change the person your grandfather is and the reasons you initially wanted to use his name.



#4 redmum77

Posted 11 February 2013 - 11:03 AM

Hmmm, I think if I wasn't sure I'd pick a dead family member to honour, then nothing can change down the track. Sounds heartless but my DDs middle name is my ex husbands sisters name - and after the birth she has only seen dd once. Dd is 8! Waste of a name. You could find out your grandfathers fathers name, or something like that so its one step removed. No one is perfect, but if you are already unsure then maybe another option is better?

#5 ~THE~MAGICIAN~

Posted 11 February 2013 - 11:36 AM

Do what I do.

Give your child a middle name they will love as much as their first. Use a name that you would love to use as a first name too. That way if they really hate their first name, the can use their middle name later on in life.

Don't name after a family member. Give them their own name.



#6 The Awesome One

Posted 11 February 2013 - 11:49 AM

If you are unsure then I wouldn't use it, or I would go round and try to speak with him in person, get a feel of the situation from his view, might help make up your mind.

#7 FiveAus

Posted 11 February 2013 - 12:17 PM

None of my kids were saddled with other people's names. Like a previous poster, mine all have middle names I'd be happy to use as first names.
For their generation, none of their names would have been in the top 50 (although a couple made it there when they were older) but their middle names were ones I liked from the popular names of the times. That way, if they decided they didn't like their first names, they had a stock standard popular name to use instead.

#8 la di dah

Posted 11 February 2013 - 12:55 PM

Personally, my relationship with my grandparents was only somewhat related to their relationship w/ my parents.

Honestly my paternal grandmother wasn't a completely great mother and as a MIL she was hell on wheels, but as a Grandmom? We were quite close and I loved her a lot and its not going to salt the earth with my parents if I name after her (though I know neither of my parents need me to name after her, either).

Now, its a bit easier for me as my grandmother was both diagnosed with MI and thus some of her worst stuff was literally her in involuntary committal and not full-on responsible for saying b**chy things, and also she's been dead since I was 14 and really the relationship is thus as stable as they get, but honestly what she's said to my mom over the years is largely aside the point.

Do you want to name after your grandfather? Or would you rather not? That'd be the question to me, not what your grandmother's been phoning other relatives about.




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

11 things that will happen when you're breastfeeding

After having three children and various degrees of success feeding them all, there's one thing I can tell you: virtually nothing will go as planned.

Surgery for baby born with a tail

A baby born with a tail has had it removed after doctors feared the birth defect might cause long term damage to his lower body.

When 'skin to skin' becomes a family affair

An adorable photo of a little boy and his dad enjoying skin to skin contact with newborn twins is melting hearts everywhere.

35 hilariously weird 'top tips'

Who would have thunk it? We never knew there were so many uses for feminine hygiene products. 

Pregnancy skin woes: acne, dry skin, itchy skin

Here are some of the most common skin complaints in pregnancy and how to tackle them, face on.

Watch this fun dance class for babywearing dads

Is there anything sexier than a babywearing dad?

Parents, this is how to cut grapes to avoid choking

One mum has learnt a harrowing lesson about the best way to cut grapes to make it safe for toddlers and little kids to eat.

When your kids have totally different temperaments

Sometimes it has felt like whiplash parenting. She perches watchfully while I vacuum; he tries to climb on and go for a ride.

How do our stress levels influence our baby?

Since having my second baby a number of people have commented on how placid, content and settled he is and, similarly, many have commented on how this is a reflection of how I am with him.

Separation anxiety isn't just for kids

Despite its prevalence, most doctors tend to be reluctant to diagnose adult patients with separation anxiety.

A charm bracelet, a boy, and my beliefs questioned

I was staring at the face of my son, realising that my once steadfast decision to be open minded was quickly unravelling at the seams.

Why I'm so grateful for Hayden Panettiere's PND honesty

There are baby steps and giant leaps forward. But there are steps backwards, too. And, oh, how they can hurt your heart.

The heartbreaking story of little Moko

The mother of 3-year-old Moko Rangitoheriri said she should have picked up on the signs. {Warning: distressing content}

Kate Beckinsale and teen daughter recreate birth photo

Kate Beckinsale has recreated her daughter Lily's birth photo, 17 years after she was born.

The adult-size stroller you'll want to test drive

It's one of the biggest baby related purchases they will make, so it makes sense that parents-to-be get a chance to road test a stroller.

Pregnancy announcement shows the reality of IVF

It's a long way from baby booties or bump shots people have become accustomed to in social media pregnancy announcements.  

Soleil Moon Frye welcomes fourth baby

"Punky Brewster" is a mom again, for the fourth time. Soleil Moon Frye announced the birth of her baby boy, Story, on Instagram Wednesday.

Mum breastfeeds baby found abandoned on the street

A woman has been praised as a "beautiful mother" after breastfeeding a baby which had been abandoned at the side of a street. 

A birth with a difference: the 'natural caesarean'

We've shared stories of gentle caesareans before, but a new video shows a new option called a 'natural caesarean'.

Baby name inspiration by music genre

If you're all about the music, then you'll need a musical name for that baby. We've got all the lists for you by music genre.

Giving effective instructions to toddlers

One of the most common errors made by parents is in how they give instructions to their children.

 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Articles

Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

The babies who are one in 70 million

Bethani Webb was excited to find out she was pregnant, but the first time mum did not realise she was carrying four babies not one.

Cafe offers breastfeeding mums a free cup of tea

A Sydney cafe is offering breastfeeding mums free cups of tea in a bid to show support for the right of women to nurse their babies wherever they choose.

To snip or not to snip? When the decision is not clear cut

Jamie Oliver, who considered a vasectomy, is to be a father again. A fellow dad reflects on his own decision 11 years ago

Doctors stunned by rare twins born almost six weeks apart

To everyone's surprise, Kristen Miller "kept doing better each day", keeping her second baby safe.

Baby book ideas for modern parents

Before my son was born I was given a lovely baby book full of blank pages waiting to be filled with weights and heights and first words.

The adorable smile of a baby seeing his mum clearly for the first time

There is no doubt seeing their child smile for the first time is an unforgettable moment for parents everywhere.

Mum tells how toddler 'nearly hung himself' in cot mishap

When Alison Johnson put her 18-month-old Caleb down for a nap, she had no reason to believe her son was in any danger.

Babies are still switched at birth? Yes, it can happen

All my panic and tears aside, my biggest question looking back is about the kind of security measures used in the maternity ward.

Doctors slammed for taking selfie with newborn

Everyone who visits a mum in hospital in the days following childbirth wants to get a photo with the new baby.

ergoPouch Twosie Sleepsuit for winter breastfeeding

Finally, there's a way to keep warm while breastfeeding through winter.

Health check: How long does sex 'normally' last?

What to do with this information? My advice would be to try not to think about it during the throes of passion.

When breastfeeding sucks: fixing common problems

From niplash to tight boobs, biting to milk supply issues, Pinky McKay looks at common breastfeeding issues and how to solve them.

10 things I've learnt in my first six months with twins

Six months on we're all still alive, and the more we get to know each other the easier the days become.

Mum's loving kiss leaves baby fighting for life

Kirsty Carrington thought nothing of giving her newborn son a kiss, little did she know it would leave the baby fighting for life.

When doing chores is your new 'me time'

After children, 'me time' looks a little different.

Get going: 14 travel strollers for families on the move

A stroller can make or break travelling with a baby or toddler. Here are 15 great single travel stroller options.

10 ways toddlers are terrific

It always pays to remind yourself of how terrific toddlers can be - they're little like this for such a short time

 

Vintage Toys

The toys of your childhood

Take a trip down memory lane with these vinage and retro toys that you may have had in your childhood or your parent's childhood.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.