Jump to content

Are private schools really that snobby?


  • Please log in to reply
15 replies to this topic

#1 Gembac8019

Posted 08 February 2013 - 12:11 PM

Are private schools really that snobby? I have heard alot of stories that they are and also seems to be a competition on who drives a better car, etc etc.

thought i'd elaborate. Dd goes to a private school kindy and everyone seems lovely. I'm really suprised i guess... lol. I dunno what I was expecting really! original.gif  My SIL and other friends who have kids going to other schools in Brisbane have told me there seems to be alot of snobby parents & some sort of ''keeping up with the Joneses"" thing happening.

Edited by princeza, 08 February 2013 - 10:07 PM.


#2 Cacti

Posted 08 February 2013 - 12:16 PM

Like all things, depends on the school.

#3 Pobbs

Posted 08 February 2013 - 12:19 PM

In the one my son attends - I'm going to vote no. I thought it would be, it's the area's Grammar school, and no, it's really not. The Mummy Mafia doesn't really exists. The mums are all really nice.

Obviously you form your own friendships with some more than others but that happens everywhere.

#4 !momo!

Posted 08 February 2013 - 12:22 PM

Agree with PP it depends on the school. I went to a private school in a lower socioeconomic area definately wasn't snobby . Most parents were small business owners. There was no comparing cars etc. maybe in a more well to do area it might be different.

#5 MrsLexiK

Posted 08 February 2013 - 12:23 PM

Not only does it depend on the school it depends on the year.  My year at school was pretty good.  Everyone got along really well and even though we all had our issues at times if it wasn't the group you where part of you would still be welcomed.  I know the year below and above me where not like this at all.

#6 weepingangel

Posted 08 February 2013 - 12:24 PM

I think it depends on the school.

Ours certainly isn't but i know when we lived in Brisbane there was a private girls school that we knew of children being left out because their parents didn't drive a certain brand of car, or live in a certain area etc. So yeah it does happen. But it probably happens in all schools to an extent, maybe it can be more exaggerated in some private schools.

#7 baddmammajamma

Posted 08 February 2013 - 12:26 PM

Really, really depends on the school.

My kids attend a small private school in an upscale suburb (not ours ;-), and it's very chill/welcoming/down to earth. What few snobs there are really stand out as not being the norm!

Interestingly, it's the local state school that has the reputation for being snobby (high percentage of kids who are multi-generational residents of the suburb -- a lot of cliquey-ness).

#8 mombasa

Posted 08 February 2013 - 12:29 PM

At our School no, the down to earth mums out weigh the made up Barbie dolls by a fair bit. Cars, where you live etc has never been an issue, I honestly don't think most parents care. The majority of parents are far more worried about getting their kids and arriving at gymnastics, swimming etc on time. I imagine some private schools are quite snobby but then again in our area some of the public primary schools are more snobby.

#9 Fossy

Posted 08 February 2013 - 12:34 PM

There is such a variation in private schools you can't really group them all together. You're going to get different responses from the cheaper private schools with low fees less than $5k compared to the $20+k fee schools, they attact different demographics.

I went to a cheap private school, fees around $7k now, no snobby attitudes at all. My friendship group consisted of kids who's parents were teachers, nurses, bank tellers, managers etc, all normal 'middle class' families. We all lived in normal houses, drove normal cars, some people occasionally went overseas but never skiing in Switzerland or anything like that!

My cousins went to an expansive private school, fees now are $24k. Very elite. I remember my cousin was teased because they were 'only!!' going to America and Mexico for their holiday. Another cousin was flown to the Whitsundays for a cruise with 10 other girls for one of their 14th birthdays. It was very much about keeping up with the Jones'.

#10 credence

Posted 08 February 2013 - 12:42 PM

QUOTE
Interestingly, it's the local state school that has the reputation for being snobby (high percentage of kids who are multi-generational residents of the suburb -- a lot of cliquey-ness).


You don't live in my suburb do you?  ph34r.gif

As a newcomer to the suburb, two years ago, I'm getting a bit tired of the cliques at our school - and it's exactly as you describe, multi-generational residents ruling the school and not even giving us blow ins a look in when it comes to decision making or the good positions on committees.

I'm just hoping that DS get's into a lovely private school next year that accepts boys from far and wide. A bit of diversity wouldn't go astray.

#11 glasnost

Posted 08 February 2013 - 12:47 PM

My brothers and I went to "prestige" private schools and while I would say that most families were lovely there is a lot of inadvertent snobbishness. By that I mean that most families that can afford to send their children there are very well off and can afford for do a lot of things that a poorer family can't, not necessarily to show off but just because they can and want the best for their families. They can afford to buy nicer cars, go on expensive family holidays, send their children away on the optional holiday activities like ski trips etc. If you don't come from a family with pots of money you can feel like the odd one out.

I remember the mums who organised our school formal were really wealthy and we had this super fancy thing at a posh hotel in the city. I know that my parents really struggled to find the cash to buy my ticket and they had to borrow money from my gran to buy my dress. They didn't want me to know but I did and felt really guilty.  

I would say that most families at my school were rich but also really lovely.

#12 *LucyE*

Posted 08 February 2013 - 12:51 PM

I think it depends on perspectives.

I don't think our school is particularly snobby but others probably do.

I was organizing a baby shower for a fellow parent at our school and invited a friend whose children attending a different school.  She was concerned about how she would be received by all the X school's parents.  The fact was, the other parents didn't care about postcodes, cars or handbags.  We were together to celebrate an impeding birth.

#13 2bundles

Posted 08 February 2013 - 04:58 PM

I have one at private and one public.  I don't notice any difference in the parent groups.  Both are mostly working to give their kids good opportunities.  European cars prevail at both, but noone ever comments on who has which car.



#14 SlinkyMalinki

Posted 08 February 2013 - 05:10 PM

QUOTE (pukeko~ponga~tree @ 08/02/2013, 12:24 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I think it depends on the school.

Ours certainly isn't but i know when we lived in Brisbane there was a private girls school that we knew of children being left out because their parents didn't drive a certain brand of car, or live in a certain area etc. So yeah it does happen. But it probably happens in all schools to an extent, maybe it can be more exaggerated in some private schools.



Would you mind sharing what school that was?  PM is fine original.gif

#15 IsolaBella

Posted 08 February 2013 - 05:20 PM

QUOTE (baddmammajamma @ 08/02/2013, 01:26 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Really, really depends on the school.

My kids attend a small private school in an upscale suburb (not ours ;-), and it's very chill/welcoming/down to earth. What few snobs there are really stand out as not being the norm!

Interestingly, it's the local state school that has the reputation for being snobby (high percentage of kids who are multi-generational residents of the suburb -- a lot of cliquey-ness).



We are just at the Local Catholic one ATM, but speaking to those who have kids at the Public school, they seem to have more snobbery. That also makes sense as the Local Catholic school has a slightly lower and more diverse socio economic scales compared to the public school which is wealthier, and the catholic school is actually more ethnically diverse (stats from MY schools).


As for the Private private schools, like Pp have said it can depend on the year. Also who you are in contact with.



#16 Frockme

Posted 08 February 2013 - 05:24 PM

I've found the local state school far more competitive and cliquey. I've found no snobiness and no competitive parents at private high school. Only parents who bend over backwards to help out with car pooling to sports or whatever. Super generous when you consider this is sydney and Saturday morning sports means hours in the car.
Love our school!  biggrin.gif

No one hangs out at school gates though.  rolleyes.gif  that's so primary school  wink.gif






1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

The myths and truths of gender swaying

Here are a few popular methods hopeful parents-to-be use to try to get a baby of their preferred gender – and what an expert says about whether they really work.

10 easy DIY Christmas decoration ideas

It's officially time to get into the Christmas spirit. Why not branch out when you put up your tree this year and add a personal touch with a few DIY decorations? We've found the perfect easy-to-make ways to put more festive fever into your home.

The dangerous new trend of glucose challenge test refusal

A dangerous trend is seeing more mothers-to-be declining a relatively simple and painless test to check for gestational diabetes.

Office of Fair Trading reveals naughty toys ahead of Christmas

The Office of Fair Trading has pulled seven toys from shelves ahead of Christmas after they fail safety tests.

Video: Baby boy's trouble with twins

These twin girls will no doubt have fun fooling people in years to come, but nobody will be as confused as baby Landon.

Long-term reversible male contraceptive on its way

Men could soon have access to an injectable long-term contraceptive which works in a similar way to a vasectomy but promises to be easily reversed.

'I tried to kill my baby': one mum's story

After bathing and dressing her three-month-old son, Amanda had a rare moment alone with her baby.

Attack of the 'mummy brain'

I feel that almost every day, someone in my life - be they a friend, family member or complete stranger - feels the need to excuse my behaviour as I have other things on my mind.

Mum of baby who fell ill after drinking raw milk speaks out

A Melbourne mother has described how her son turned grey when he became seriously ill after drinking raw milk.

Australian divorce rate lowest since 1976

Modern newlyweds are now well into their 30s and marriage still offers something powerful a new book argues.

The aftermath of a traumatic birth experience

In Australia, 30 per cent of women find their birth experience traumatic, with 6 per cent going on to develop post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Young mum burns 'from inside-out'

A young mum is in intensive care after she took a friend's antibiotic and wound up with an ailment that is burning her body 'from the inside-out'.

The disagreement that can break a relationship

If he doesn't change his mind, all I can hope is that I will. It would be a waste to spend the rest of my marriage mourning a baby that never was.

Co-sleeping or no-sleeping? Mum videos worst nap ever

One mother's futile attempt to sleep in caught on camera in a hilarious - and very cute - video.

Why children misbehave during the festive season

While we all like to imagine the holiday season as being a fun, loving and bonding experience; often our reality is quiet different.

I was fat-shamed by my doctor

The fear of being weighed is the most significant factor in women cancelling medical appointments - and now weight-shaming has happened to me.

End of an era: no more childcare

As we reach the end of 2014, we're closing the book on many things for another year, most notably childcare. Our last child has attended childcare for the very last time.

The 7-year itch is more like the 10-year itch: study

Contrary to popular belief, making it past the seven-year mark doesn't mean your marriage will be smooth sailing from there on.

Stop telling us that parenting gets harder

I’m sure that parenting will get harder. But life isn’t exactly smooth sailing for many of us right now, either.

Should children be forced to sit on Santa's lap?

We teach kids it’s okay to say no if they don’t feel safe, so why do some parents force their children to climb in to Santa's lap?

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Baby born weighing almost 14 pounds

Yes, the bouncing baby girl was born by caesarean section. And mum says no more kids.

The dummy debate

I'm the first to admit that when I used to see tiny babies with dummies in their mouths, I thought "Hmm, lazy parenting." And now I apologise.

'I thought I was an only child'

Imagine meeting your double at a school sports event, or regularly being mistaken for someone you haven't met. Separated twins Margaret and Joy tell their story.

Mums reveal their nappy bag essentials

Ever wondered what other mums carry in their nappy bags? We have, so we asked mums to tell us their must-have nappy bag items.

Toddler died because he wasn't given antibiotics soon enough

A 15-month-old boy would almost certainly be alive today if doctors had given him antibiotics sooner, a coroner has ruled.

VIDEO: moment a toddler falls on to train tracks in Melbourne

Shocking footage has emerged capturing the moment a pram carrying a toddler rolled off a platform and onto train tracks in suburban Melbourne.

Sold on natural birth? Read the fine print

In the excitement and anticipation of a first pregnancy, I ignored the fine print: some women, some of the time.

Child with alcoholic mum who drank while pregnant won't win pay-out

A young child is not entitled to criminal injuries compensation after her mother drank excessively while pregnant.

Superbugs killing India's babies, posing wider threat

A deadly epidemic that could have global implications is quietly sweeping India, tens of thousands of newborns dying because antibiotics no longer work.

Can you teach a toddler to sleep in?

Parents share their tips on getting their early risers to sleep in, even for just a little bit longer.

Keeping your relationship on track as new parents

About 70 per cent of couples experience a slump in their relationship within three years of having a baby. Here's how we tried to get back on track.

America's favourite baby names of 2014

Americans are turning to television, Netflix and sports for ideas for what to name their wee ones.

Carers admit to force-feeding children

As Sydney grieves the loss of Sydney siege victims Katrina Dawson and Tori Johnson, reports have suggested that both died as heroes.

 

How many weeks til Christmas?

On your To-Do list

Get the "Santa" shopping done without the kids in tow.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.