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Are private schools really that snobby?

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15 replies to this topic

#1 Gembac8019

Posted 08 February 2013 - 12:11 PM

Are private schools really that snobby? I have heard alot of stories that they are and also seems to be a competition on who drives a better car, etc etc.

thought i'd elaborate. Dd goes to a private school kindy and everyone seems lovely. I'm really suprised i guess... lol. I dunno what I was expecting really! original.gif  My SIL and other friends who have kids going to other schools in Brisbane have told me there seems to be alot of snobby parents & some sort of ''keeping up with the Joneses"" thing happening.

Edited by princeza, 08 February 2013 - 10:07 PM.

#2 Cacti

Posted 08 February 2013 - 12:16 PM

Like all things, depends on the school.

#3 Pobbs

Posted 08 February 2013 - 12:19 PM

In the one my son attends - I'm going to vote no. I thought it would be, it's the area's Grammar school, and no, it's really not. The Mummy Mafia doesn't really exists. The mums are all really nice.

Obviously you form your own friendships with some more than others but that happens everywhere.

#4 !momo!

Posted 08 February 2013 - 12:22 PM

Agree with PP it depends on the school. I went to a private school in a lower socioeconomic area definately wasn't snobby . Most parents were small business owners. There was no comparing cars etc. maybe in a more well to do area it might be different.

#5 MrsLexiK

Posted 08 February 2013 - 12:23 PM

Not only does it depend on the school it depends on the year.  My year at school was pretty good.  Everyone got along really well and even though we all had our issues at times if it wasn't the group you where part of you would still be welcomed.  I know the year below and above me where not like this at all.

#6 weepingangel

Posted 08 February 2013 - 12:24 PM

I think it depends on the school.

Ours certainly isn't but i know when we lived in Brisbane there was a private girls school that we knew of children being left out because their parents didn't drive a certain brand of car, or live in a certain area etc. So yeah it does happen. But it probably happens in all schools to an extent, maybe it can be more exaggerated in some private schools.

#7 baddmammajamma

Posted 08 February 2013 - 12:26 PM

Really, really depends on the school.

My kids attend a small private school in an upscale suburb (not ours ;-), and it's very chill/welcoming/down to earth. What few snobs there are really stand out as not being the norm!

Interestingly, it's the local state school that has the reputation for being snobby (high percentage of kids who are multi-generational residents of the suburb -- a lot of cliquey-ness).

#8 mombasa

Posted 08 February 2013 - 12:29 PM

At our School no, the down to earth mums out weigh the made up Barbie dolls by a fair bit. Cars, where you live etc has never been an issue, I honestly don't think most parents care. The majority of parents are far more worried about getting their kids and arriving at gymnastics, swimming etc on time. I imagine some private schools are quite snobby but then again in our area some of the public primary schools are more snobby.

#9 Fossy

Posted 08 February 2013 - 12:34 PM

There is such a variation in private schools you can't really group them all together. You're going to get different responses from the cheaper private schools with low fees less than $5k compared to the $20+k fee schools, they attact different demographics.

I went to a cheap private school, fees around $7k now, no snobby attitudes at all. My friendship group consisted of kids who's parents were teachers, nurses, bank tellers, managers etc, all normal 'middle class' families. We all lived in normal houses, drove normal cars, some people occasionally went overseas but never skiing in Switzerland or anything like that!

My cousins went to an expansive private school, fees now are $24k. Very elite. I remember my cousin was teased because they were 'only!!' going to America and Mexico for their holiday. Another cousin was flown to the Whitsundays for a cruise with 10 other girls for one of their 14th birthdays. It was very much about keeping up with the Jones'.

#10 credence

Posted 08 February 2013 - 12:42 PM

Interestingly, it's the local state school that has the reputation for being snobby (high percentage of kids who are multi-generational residents of the suburb -- a lot of cliquey-ness).

You don't live in my suburb do you?  ph34r.gif

As a newcomer to the suburb, two years ago, I'm getting a bit tired of the cliques at our school - and it's exactly as you describe, multi-generational residents ruling the school and not even giving us blow ins a look in when it comes to decision making or the good positions on committees.

I'm just hoping that DS get's into a lovely private school next year that accepts boys from far and wide. A bit of diversity wouldn't go astray.

#11 glasnost

Posted 08 February 2013 - 12:47 PM

My brothers and I went to "prestige" private schools and while I would say that most families were lovely there is a lot of inadvertent snobbishness. By that I mean that most families that can afford to send their children there are very well off and can afford for do a lot of things that a poorer family can't, not necessarily to show off but just because they can and want the best for their families. They can afford to buy nicer cars, go on expensive family holidays, send their children away on the optional holiday activities like ski trips etc. If you don't come from a family with pots of money you can feel like the odd one out.

I remember the mums who organised our school formal were really wealthy and we had this super fancy thing at a posh hotel in the city. I know that my parents really struggled to find the cash to buy my ticket and they had to borrow money from my gran to buy my dress. They didn't want me to know but I did and felt really guilty.  

I would say that most families at my school were rich but also really lovely.

#12 *LucyE*

Posted 08 February 2013 - 12:51 PM

I think it depends on perspectives.

I don't think our school is particularly snobby but others probably do.

I was organizing a baby shower for a fellow parent at our school and invited a friend whose children attending a different school.  She was concerned about how she would be received by all the X school's parents.  The fact was, the other parents didn't care about postcodes, cars or handbags.  We were together to celebrate an impeding birth.

#13 2bundles

Posted 08 February 2013 - 04:58 PM

I have one at private and one public.  I don't notice any difference in the parent groups.  Both are mostly working to give their kids good opportunities.  European cars prevail at both, but noone ever comments on who has which car.

#14 SlinkyMalinki

Posted 08 February 2013 - 05:10 PM

QUOTE (pukeko~ponga~tree @ 08/02/2013, 12:24 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I think it depends on the school.

Ours certainly isn't but i know when we lived in Brisbane there was a private girls school that we knew of children being left out because their parents didn't drive a certain brand of car, or live in a certain area etc. So yeah it does happen. But it probably happens in all schools to an extent, maybe it can be more exaggerated in some private schools.

Would you mind sharing what school that was?  PM is fine original.gif

#15 Isolabella

Posted 08 February 2013 - 05:20 PM

QUOTE (baddmammajamma @ 08/02/2013, 01:26 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Really, really depends on the school.

My kids attend a small private school in an upscale suburb (not ours ;-), and it's very chill/welcoming/down to earth. What few snobs there are really stand out as not being the norm!

Interestingly, it's the local state school that has the reputation for being snobby (high percentage of kids who are multi-generational residents of the suburb -- a lot of cliquey-ness).

We are just at the Local Catholic one ATM, but speaking to those who have kids at the Public school, they seem to have more snobbery. That also makes sense as the Local Catholic school has a slightly lower and more diverse socio economic scales compared to the public school which is wealthier, and the catholic school is actually more ethnically diverse (stats from MY schools).

As for the Private private schools, like Pp have said it can depend on the year. Also who you are in contact with.

#16 Frockme

Posted 08 February 2013 - 05:24 PM

I've found the local state school far more competitive and cliquey. I've found no snobiness and no competitive parents at private high school. Only parents who bend over backwards to help out with car pooling to sports or whatever. Super generous when you consider this is sydney and Saturday morning sports means hours in the car.
Love our school!  biggrin.gif

No one hangs out at school gates though.  rolleyes.gif  that's so primary school  wink.gif

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