Jump to content

Another miscarriage
Rambling vent


  • Please log in to reply
9 replies to this topic

#1 Let_it_Rain

Posted 08 February 2013 - 10:57 AM

I got my positive pregnancy test on 28 December. I didn't believe it. I had accepted not having another baby for a while and was going to focus on other things. I had started to give away saved baby items and try and move on.

I also didn't want to believe it. If I got my hopes up and beleived I might actually end up with a baby I would end up devestated like last time. I kind of ignored the test and everytime I went to the toilet I just expected to see blood.

DH guessed I was pregnant and he was actually happy. I told him I just wanted to ignore it for a while and see what happened.

I had all the right symptoms. After I passed the time of my last miscarriage I let myself have a little bit of hope, then at 10 weeks I figured it might be safe and I went to a walk in clinic to have the tests.

All the levels were great, it looked like a viable pregnancy so I saw my normal GP to ask for a referal for a scan. I also booked in with the Ob. It was so hard, I struggled picking up the phone to make the bookings. I knew the second I started to make this real it would go wrong.

Well yesterday I had the ultrasound. The beautiful baby that should have been there isn't. I have an empty sac. The lady who did the ultrasound said maybe my dates are wrong and I should come back in 3 weeks. I know there is no hope. I should have a fully formed baby with a heart beat, but I just have a sac.

When I got home from the ultrasound I started bleeding. It's like my body was holding on to it just long enough to make me think it was going to be okay.

I am trying to hold it together for DS and DH. I fell apart so bad last time. I know there is no logic to it but I just feel it is me. I can't have a baby because I want one. DS was unplanned and neither of us were ready but it all turned our okay because I didn't actually want him (I love him more than anything now, and did the moment he was born).

I just feel like such a failure. Why can't I do this?

#2 Fillyjonk

Posted 08 February 2013 - 02:34 PM

I am so sorry OP. I don't know what to say... I am just so sorry sad.gif

Edited by with the goo goose, 08 February 2013 - 03:10 PM.


#3 bree18

Posted 08 February 2013 - 02:40 PM

I'm so sorry for your loss. Please don't feel like a failure, I don't know why this happens but it doesn't in any way mean you are a failure. Be gentle on yourself.

#4 KBM

Posted 08 February 2013 - 02:43 PM

Im so sorry.  Take time to grieve for the loss of your little one.  Try to be kind to yourself and not think about laying blame, no one is to blame.

#5 Andrews mum

Posted 08 February 2013 - 02:43 PM

You are absolutely not a failure, you are a mother to a beautiful boy, with what sounds like a caring, supportive husband.  You will get through this, but give yourself some time to grieve.  There are some great resources out there when you feel up to it.  Talk to your GP about what is available in your area.  Look after yourself, have a good cry and hug your wee boy tight.

#6 noi'mnot

Posted 08 February 2013 - 02:46 PM

I'm so sorry for your loss. Please take care of, and be gentle to yourself. Xxx

#7 Princesspeachzz

Posted 08 February 2013 - 08:56 PM

You are by no means a failure. No one is to blame. Sadly it's just one of those things that are out of our control. I'm so sorry for your loss.

#8 hanz33

Posted 09 February 2013 - 12:04 PM

I know how you feel. I haven't been able to have a baby so far and just when I feel like everything may be okay. Its not.

#9 Let_it_Rain

Posted 09 February 2013 - 08:25 PM

Thanks everyone for your thoughts. I'm doing okay, DS has picked up on the fact that something is wrong and has been trying to make me happy.

I just need to not let myself start to get into the negative thought spiral that can happen so easily.

#10 Ellabelle

Posted 10 February 2013 - 08:44 PM

I am so sorry for your loss and feel  your pain. After falling pregnant first try with DD (3.5) I assumed it would be easy. 14 months and 5 miscarriages later, I never believed it would happen. I felt like my life was on hold, couldn't move on, make plans, get rid of the baby stuff. When I got pregnant again I thought "here we go again". Every step of the way was agony. This pregnancy has been a hard road with many scares and is not over yet. I am now 36 weeks pregnant and still cannot accept that its going to be OK.

have you had testing done by an Ob or fertility specialist or MC clinic? We were at our wits end trying to find out why it seemed impossible after having one healthy baby already. I received a lot of support and advice from EB members of which I am so grateful.


1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Tot meets his heroes, falls apart with excitement

Two-year-old Quincy finished his potty training last week, and as part of his reward he was able to meet his idols.

Beautiful in our eyes: Georgia's story

I will never deny the fact that grief has a place when you give birth to a child who brings a set of circumstances very different to what you imagined. Because for nine months, I thought I knew my Georgie.

'It's been phenomenal': widower dad of quads thankful for support

There was nothing Erica and Carlos wanted more than a baby.

Vin Diesel names daughter after actor Paul Walker

The actor said there was "no other person" he was thinking about when he chose the name.

How midwives can help women who experience domestic violence

More than half of women who live with abusive partners experience violence during pregnancy.

Mum describes giving birth during Cyclone Pam

A new mother was told she must flee Port Vila hospital with her baby as Cyclone Pam bore down.

6 signs you're done having babies

There were a few signs I'm never going back to the land of maternity jeans, breast pumps and bassinets.

Marta Dusseldorp reveals breastfeeding cost her an acting job

Australian actress Marta Dusseldorp has revealed she was forced to withdraw from a Sydney Theatre Company production because a director did not approve of her breast feeding.

Female celebs (or their babies) with traditionally male names

Looking for a name that's a little bit different for a girl? Turn to names that have been traditionally used for males, as these celebs (or their parents) did.

'If you're anti-immunisation ... take a look at this picture of my son'

Greg Hughes is "an absolute shell of a man" as he and his wife Catherine struggle to come to terms with the loss of their newborn son Riley to whooping cough.

How an extrovert can raise an introvert

Introverts are often misunderstood as shy, and sometimes even rude. A timid child can be difficult to build rapport with, but it's important we nurture their sensitive natures.

Sheryl Sandberg's advice

'Choreplay': Help out at home to get more sex, Sandberg tells men

Forget foreplay. The new and improved route to intercourse is "choreplay" - it's good for your spouse, good for your house, and comes with the imprimatur of feminist du jour Sheryl Sandberg.

How to play with your baby

The first time your child learns a new skill at playtime is very exciting - for both you and your baby! Play is important to your child's development for a variety of reasons - here are some simple ideas for you to try at home.

I'm a single mother by choice

For me, being the best mother I can be means being a mum alone, at least for now. Thinking of my friends with inadequate partners, I wonder why more people don’t choose single motherhood.

Awkward wedding photos

Weird poses, surprise photobombs, bizarre editing: these are the wedding photos that should have never seen the light of day.

Four-week-old baby Riley Hughes dies of whooping cough

The mother of a four-week-old Perth baby who died after contracting whooping cough says her family has been left devastated by the loss of her "gorgeous, sweet" son.

Win a Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom prize pack

To celebrate the April 1 release of Holly's Magic Wand on DVD and Digital, we are giving away five DVD packs featuring the newest installment of Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom Holly's Magic Wand and many more hours of family entertainment! Enter Now!

Oh boy! Video shows family's reaction to baby surprise

Little Peyton Williams thought she was getting a baby sister named Charlee. But the two-year-old has had to settle for a doll dressed in pink after her baby "sister" turned out to be a boy.

How to help build up your baby's immune system

We all know that having a strong immune system is the best way to stay healthy – but what can we do to help it along?

'Nick, you need to call an ambulance': home birth mum's tragic death

A Melbourne mum who died after the home birth of her baby pleaded with her husband to call an ambulance because she felt she was going to die, the Victorian Coroners Court has heard.

When dads believe their baby doesn't 'like' them

Q: My two-month-old baby doesn't like me. He's perfectly content with my wife, but when I try to hold him, he gets upset and cries. I've backed off a little, thinking that he just needs a little time to get used to me, but that doesn't seem to be working. I'm starting to think I'm just not a very good dad. Is it too late for me to build a relationship with my baby?

When was the last time a stranger praised your parenting?

Wouldn’t it be great to get some nice feedback every now and then? After all, everyone likes to hear positive praise, particularly when it comes to parenting.

Special Ticket Offer, Save $8!

The Essential Baby & Toddler Show is back this April! Save $8 off the door price for a limited time only!

15 names on the verge of extinction

If you're looking to revive an older name, or don’t want anything near the top 1000 list, check out these rare monikers for your unique baby.

5 characteristics of great dads

It’s great to see a generation of dads who are more actively involved with caring, nurturing and loving their kids.

Why doesn't Australia have more breast milk banks?

When there’s no question that milk banks are important, why don’t we have more of them in Australia?

Carrie Bickmore announces birth of daughter

Television personality Carrie Bickmore has given birth to her second child.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Sign up to our 30 days of #PlayIQ challenge

Sign up to receive 30 amazing tips and ideas for play with baby during the month of April and submit a picture or tip on our social wall for a chance to win an amazing Fisher-Price prize pack.

Man faces jail after giving woman abortion pill smoothie

A Norwegian man is facing jail after putting abortion pills in his ex-girlfriend's smoothie, causing her to have a miscarriage.

'He's a blessing': family of baby born without eyes

Jordy Jackson was born without eyes. He has anophthalmia, which affects one in every 100,000 babies born.

Win one of 5 Cadbury Easter Hampers

With Easter fast approaching, Cadbury are giving away 5 Cadbury Easter Hampers. Enter Now!

Super fit model Sarah Stage defends her pregnancy body

Model Sarah Stage has defended her pregnancy body after critics claimed her slim figure at eight-and-a-half months pregnant wasn't "normal".

Win a Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom and Peppa Pig prize pack

To celebrate the April 1 release of Holly's Magic Wand on DVD and Digital, Essential Baby and Entertainment One are giving away five bumper DVD packs featuring the newest installment of Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom Holly's Magic Wand and many more hours of family entertainment! Enter Now!

Why I post breastfeeding photos online

I love to take pictures of my children. In some of the pictures, my younger son is nursing.

The day I broke my baby

There are things I wish I didn't know. I wish I didn't know that companies make tiny braces, small enough to hold necks no bigger than a wrist.

The place just for dads of multiples

When a couple discovers they're expecting multiples, the dad can sometimes be almost forgotten in all the excitement and preparation. But one group offers a space just for dads of twins and higher-order multiples.

Brave mum calls for domestic violence law reform

A brave mum of two has shared details of the harrowing attacks she suffered at the hands of her partner in a bid to help other victims of domestic violence.

Why I had the new test for Down syndrome

Early last year I turned 35, and having just found out I was pregnant, I opted to have the new test for Down syndrome.

Geeky baby gear

If your family is more into Star Wars, gaming and the periodic table than most, you might want to check out these geek-chic baby items.

2015: the year of the sheep

According to the Chinese zodiac, babies born in the year of the sheep are creative and enjoy spending quiet time with their own thoughts.

Breakthrough genetic testing now available in Australia

Pregnant women will for the first time have access to locally analysed, accurate, non-invasive pre-natal genetic testing when the first Australian clinic to offer the services opens its doors next week.

Grandbabies: the babies born looking old

Not a day under 65 and a lifetime of struggle! That's the look of these newborns, who look adorably older than their real age. Social networking site Reddit recently featured user submissions of adorable grandbabies, here are our favourites.

Family kicked off flight after toddler seatbelt drama

An entire family was kicked off a Cathay Pacific flight when a misbehaving toddler refused to put his seatbelt on.

Stolen baby found after 17 years

A baby stolen from her mother's arms shortly after birth has been found through an astonishing coincidence.

53 creative pregnancy announcements

Announcing that you're expecting can be a time to express your creativity, sense of humour and imagination. Check out how other parents and parents-to-be have broken the news to friends and family.

IKEA hacks for the nursery and kids' rooms

Are you one of those that know the whole IKEA catalogue by heart? Love their stuff but want to personalise it? Here's some inspiration to help you realise the potential of IKEA furniture and fittings.

36 baby names inspired by food and drinks

A French court may have ruled out Nutella as a baby name, but that doesn't have to stop you from taking inspiration from the supermarket (or bottle shop). See what parents in the US have chosen for their delicious little ones.

Clever breastfeeding products

Check out this range of products designed to help make your breastfeeding journey more enjoyable, manageable and convenient.

 

Sign up now!

30 days of #PlayIQ challenge

Receive a daily email from Essential Baby during April with great play tips and ideas, then submit your baby at play photos to our Playwall, Instagram or Twitter for your chance to win.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.