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Petty naming dilemma.


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#1 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 08 February 2013 - 08:37 AM

DH and I had agreed on a name, that I suggested. I have loved this name since I was a kid.

Anyway now DH has gone off it because he thinks it sounds "too ethnic".

He does like a shortened version of the name, but I don't particularly like it compared to the name in its full glory. So he likes the short version and I like the full version but neither of us really like both names.

For example if the name was Catherine, and he only likes Kate (this isn't the name btw).

Would you name a child with a full name if some people are going to call it by the shortened name and others are going to use the full name? Or would it get too confusing?

Edited by Sunnycat, 08 February 2013 - 08:45 AM.


#2 noi'mnot

Posted 08 February 2013 - 08:39 AM

People will give your child a nickname whatever name you choose, I think. I don't think it's too confusing. Go with the name you love! original.gif

#3 bubmakes3

Posted 08 February 2013 - 09:02 AM

Our son is Benjamin.
Before he was born we referred to him as 'Ben' and thought this was the name we woudl use on a daily basis.
Now I find myself calling him Benjamin more often but also use Ben and Benny - DH usually calls him Ben or Benny. Family members (aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents etc) on both sides call him Benny-Boy and at daycare the alternate between BenBen (no idea why?) and Benny too.
If you ask him what his name is he most often says Benny or Benny Boy.
I don't think its to confusing and once he gets older I assume he will choose his own preferred 'name' from all of the ones currently used.

#4 Tikiboo16

Posted 08 February 2013 - 09:17 AM

Why don't you just give the full version and let the child decide which it likes the best when they are old enough?

#5 RCTP

Posted 08 February 2013 - 09:25 AM

We went with "Maggie" as opposed to Margaret (after DH's mum) as we knew we would never refer to her as Margaret anyway so the longer name seemed pointless.

Thought she may be able to use "Mags" if she gets all grown up and thinks "Maggie" is too kiddy

#6 little lion

Posted 08 February 2013 - 09:34 AM

I'd name her Catherine and use that name, Kate could be what DH calls her. Ideally though I'd like to find a name we both really love though.

Anyone else desperate to know the names in question? original.gif

#7 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 08 February 2013 - 09:39 AM

QUOTE (Tikiboo16 @ 08/02/2013, 09:17 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Why don't you just give the full version and let the child decide which it likes the best when they are old enough?


Well obviously that will happen but in the meantime I'm asking if it will be too confusing if one parent uses the full name (ethnicity and all) and the other parent uses the shortened Anglo name. I'm not sure if it's a good compromise or two people being too stubborn.

#8 Cacti

Posted 08 February 2013 - 09:41 AM

It's hard to say without knowing how different they are, but I don't think it will cause an issue. My dad called me Lucy when I was little which isn't my name or close to it, but was just the same he called me.

#9 CallMeProtart

Posted 08 February 2013 - 09:42 AM

Kids get called lots of variations of things, I'd do it.

#10 LottieCait

Posted 08 February 2013 - 09:43 AM

I have a Caitlin because DH wanted a Katie but I wanted her to have a longer version.  I don't actually particularly like the name Caitlin but DH wouldn't agree Catherine  rolleyes.gif  She gets called Cailtlin, Caitie and most often, Kitty.  She now prefers Kitty.
So I guess my point is; names evolve anyway so you may not even end up calling her anything to do with her name original.gif

If you love the name then just use it.

#11 Gudrun

Posted 08 February 2013 - 09:44 AM

Happens all the time. I don't think it's confusing at all.  We all answer to several things.

#12 little lion

Posted 08 February 2013 - 09:44 AM

QUOTE (Sunnycat @ 08/02/2013, 09:39 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Well obviously that will happen but in the meantime I'm asking if it will be too confusing if one parent uses the full name (ethnicity and all) and the other parent uses the shortened Anglo name. I'm not sure if it's a good compromise or two people being too stubborn.


Our son is known by his first name (English) to most but my in laws only call him by his Chinese middle name. I hadn't really thought of it as confusing, but now I'm not sure!

#13 BobTony

Posted 08 February 2013 - 09:45 AM

CallMeProtart is right, kids do get called lots of things. DH and I both have different nicknames for DD and her aunt and granny have different names again.

I can't see any problem with one parent calling one variant and the other a different one.

#14 R2B2

Posted 08 February 2013 - 09:46 AM

Yes. We have an Abigail. its a name I have adored since I was 15 - I was not compromising on it at all wink.gif

My husband isn't overly keen on "Abigail" but adores "Abbey" so he calls her Abbey and I mostly call her Abigail. win win!

#15 tres-chic

Posted 08 February 2013 - 09:47 AM

Only if I really liked the shortened version.

In the past I liked the name Lucas, but DH liked Luke and unhelpfully said he'd just call him Luke which would have bugged me because it was incorrect. I liked Henry but DH said he'd call him Hank...Charles/Chuck. We avoided Edward as a FN even though I adore it because I don't like Eddie.

DS is Samuel because I like all the NNs. He gets all sorts of variations and it's not confusing.

If you don't like the shortened version I'd find something else you both do like.

#16 MrsLexiK

Posted 08 February 2013 - 09:51 AM

I'd go with the name you agreed on, and then DH can always shorten it to his NN even if you call her by her full name her whole life.  I have a much longer name and I love it, really it does sound more professional answering the phone then with the cutsie NN.

We have a name for a girl that I have loved since childhood and will use it if this is a girl, it has the "ie" NN/shortned name (we can't agree on which one to use as their are 2 mind you) as well but we will give the full version as the FN.

#17 ~kuddlebug~

Posted 08 February 2013 - 09:53 AM

My son is Tobias but we pretty much only call him Toby or Tobes. I figured he can use Tobias as his 'grown up' name or Toby if he prefers. I don't see a problem with it.

#18 Bluenomi

Posted 08 February 2013 - 09:54 AM

Friends of mine had a similar battle. He wanted Caitlin, she didn't. So her real name is Caitlin but her mother calls her Tilly and annoucned her as Caitlin (Tilly) at birth. She copes fine with Dad alling her something completely different to Mum

#19 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 08 February 2013 - 09:55 AM

Thanks everyone, I don't actually think the name sounds "too ethnic", I think it's a name like Isabella which could come from anywhere nowadays.

Also I am half the ethnicity involved so it wouldn't be totally weird to name her with an "ethnicish" name.

I'll talk to DH about it some more. We really have no other name options.

It's just like bloody naming DS all over again.

#20 Bel Rowley

Posted 08 February 2013 - 12:49 PM

I'd use it and don't think it's a problem if Mum and Dad use different names.

#21 lozzylots

Posted 08 February 2013 - 01:29 PM

QUOTE (little lion @ 08/02/2013, 10:04 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Anyone else desperate to know the names in question? original.gif


Yes!!

#22 Flashheart

Posted 08 February 2013 - 01:38 PM

I don't usually comment in "name" threads - not my kid, so I don't care what you call your child.
But..

Many years ago my brother and his wife had a child. She liked Rebecca, he liked Kim.
Child was named Kim Rebecca Lastname.

He has always called her Kim.
She has always called her Rebecca.

No long term ill effects on said child, who is now a mother of 3 herself.

So, compromise.

ETA: Most other people called her Beck

Edited by jameses mum, 08 February 2013 - 01:40 PM.


#23 PerthFembo

Posted 08 February 2013 - 08:07 PM

DD is almost never called by her birth certificate name but she gets called by no less than 6 nicknames daily. Tbh I don't think she learnt her actual name until she was 12 months old  ph34r.gif   but after that no issues. She answers to all of them.

I have two Vietnamese friends where one parent calls the child by their anglo name and the other calls them by their Vietnamese name. Has never caused a prob or confused the child from what I'm told. In fact I think its a very common scenario.

I think the only reason it would be a prob is if it grated on your nerves when DH says the NN and vice versa.  If not, no issue.

#24 kerilyntaryn

Posted 08 February 2013 - 09:00 PM

what is the names you like and what name does dh like

#25 Bellefin

Posted 09 February 2013 - 02:54 AM

We have this exact scenario (might even be the same name!). It does sound ethnic and I mostly use the full version and DP uses the abbreviation. I don't find it a problem at all although DD2 is only a baby anyway. It's a good situation really, rather than disagreeing completely.




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