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Imaginary friend

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#1 FeralLIfeHacker

Posted 07 February 2013 - 11:16 PM

DD told me today after kindy that she had a new friend.  I said that was nice and asked her the friends name, she said "Zoe".  I mumbled something else about that being a nice name.  She then said "But you can't see her", "she told me she dissapears when other people come".  She then told me "Zoe" was sitting in the carseat in the back of the car and that she could change colours so that's why I couldn't see her.  I don't know why but I wanted to cry sad.gif
Should I be worried?  This is her 2nd term at kindy and I know it's been a huge change for her, she has often told e she doesn't have any friends at kindy but when I spoke to the teacher she said it's totally normal for them to say that.
Normal? unsure.gif

#2 Beltie

Posted 07 February 2013 - 11:29 PM


Catalyst (ABC science show) did a story about it a few years ago. Here's the link:

Imaginary friends - ABC

DD1 had an imaginary friend called Toby when she was 2. He could be naughty (according to DD) but usually he was just a great conversationalist at quiet times.

#3 FeralBee

Posted 07 February 2013 - 11:47 PM

I don't belong in this section, but I'm popping in to say that there's research to suggest that imaginary friends are a sign of a good imagination. It's normal and healthy!

Can you go early to kindy pickup and quietly observe your daughter's interactions with the other kids? Not sure if they encourage that.

#4 FeralLIfeHacker

Posted 07 February 2013 - 11:50 PM

smile1.gif  Thankyou!! Gaah I feel a bit silly but I have been beside myself with worry all afternoon. Taking a deep breath now.

#5 FeralLIfeHacker

Posted 07 February 2013 - 11:53 PM

QUOTE (SqueakyBee @ 08/02/2013, 12:47 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Can you go early to kindy pickup and quietly observe your daughter's interactions with the other kids? Not sure if they encourage that.

thanks, yes I probably can do that, although they are usually in 'group time' when I come to pick her up.  I spend a bit of time at kindy and she seems just fine, playing 'alongside' other kids but from my older children, I remember that being quite usual at that age.

#6 Lynken

Posted 08 February 2013 - 12:00 AM

My now-4.5-year-old DD had an imaginary friend who first appeared around the time she turned three.  It was also around the time DS was born and she started 3 year old kindy.  Her friend was Zoe too!

DD's Zoe made sporadic appearances (ie: didn't seemed tied to any particular event, emotion, etc...).  I assumed it was her way of coping with a lot of changes and as it didn't become obsessive in any way, I just left her to it.  Zoe popped up again late last year for a few days but nothing since.  

The clip Beltie posted is really good.  Definitely a normal phase.

#7 iwanttosleepin

Posted 09 February 2013 - 02:16 AM

I had an imaginary friend!  At one stage I had 3.
I don't remember them at all but my parents take great delight in reminding me of them.
Apparently they lived in a shoebox.

#8 Fillyjonk

Posted 09 February 2013 - 02:30 AM

I too had an imaginary friend. His name was Ghostie and he lived under my bed and used to come with me to Kookaburra School. So I guess I had a whole imaginary life happening. I still remember it all and look back on those years (probably from a bit before I started school till around year 1) with some fondness.

#9 veggiepatchfamily

Posted 09 February 2013 - 03:21 AM

So glad you posted this topic.
DS has just started playing with an imaginary friend the last few days. It doesn't have a name (but DS not big on naming things) but its a boy.
His only there sporadically.
Glad to read its normal. I've always has a super crazy imagination but never any imaginary friends..

#10 NotBitzerMaloney

Posted 09 February 2013 - 04:33 AM

Nothing to worry about at all.

DS got an imaginary friend for a while. However.... he borrowed Soren Lorenson, so I felt that negated any of the positives re creativity if he couldn't come up with his own friend!

#11 Nataliah

Posted 09 February 2013 - 06:18 AM

I don't belong here either, but just wanted to say that both myself and DH had imaginary friends when we were little.  We've both grown up to be just fine original.gif

#12 Eirinn

Posted 09 February 2013 - 06:30 AM

I would be thrilled if DD had an imaginary friend!

#13 baileysmummy73

Posted 10 February 2013 - 09:47 PM

My little sister at age of 4 had a friend..her name was sib sib..lasted a yr or two..my ds who is 3.5yrs has of late talks to a boy ..who has no name but called little boy and there's a little girl he talks to who is Annie..he is an old child so far and they aren't here all the time..but he also talks bout and at times sees our dog that past just over a yr ago..I just go along with him on it..maybe just see how your daughter goes over the next few months I'm sure it's nothing to be concerned bout, maybe if she was scared of her friend but doesn't sound she is..

#14 miss*k

Posted 15 February 2013 - 02:09 PM

DD (3.5) has an imaginary friend Kayon who is Naughty, apparently when she does things it was Kayons fault. When she first started on about him I freaked out thinking ghosts lol.

#15 seven times 3

Posted 15 February 2013 - 02:15 PM

My DD (now 5 1/2) has had an imaginary friend for over 2 1/2 years now. Sometimes we hear about him a lot, sometimes not so much, but he is clearly still present.  She doesn't actually play with him, but but she can recount endless stories about the things she has done with him.
I often egg her on with  questions because it is great fun to hear what she can come up with on the spot.

#16 hoohoobump

Posted 15 February 2013 - 10:19 PM

I posted a very similar question about DS and his imaginary friend a few months ago.

'Tom' is still with us and is a confidante and companion for DS. He accompanies us on outings etc, but is also able to pop across the world to visit DS's grandparents and cousins etc.

'Tom' seems to be a positive thing and certainly gives me a lot of insight into how DS thinks about change and events in his life. We seem to have 'Tom' more when DS is anxious about things e.g.oving to the new daycare room.

#17 SeaPrincess

Posted 15 February 2013 - 10:23 PM

DS1 had 6 at one time, and we still celebrate Bobby's birthday in September (a date which has nothing to do with the date of his arrival).

#18 katrina24

Posted 15 February 2013 - 10:28 PM

My DD2 had an imaginary friend when she was 2. Then, last year an imaginary friend named Zoe (coincidence OP) made an appearance.  Dd did seem to know Zoe was imaginary but little 'Muffy' (her earlier imaginary friend) was very real to her and great company for her.

#19 dogma

Posted 15 February 2013 - 10:30 PM

3.5yo (only child) has an imaginary little sister named Debbie, and an imaginary "Granpa" (her "real" Grandad is around all the time, as is Granny). She also has friends at daycare, gets along great with her cousins, and has fantastic imagination and storytelling ability.

#20 kay11

Posted 15 February 2013 - 11:16 PM

My 4yo has one. She even pushes her imaginary friend on the swing. She's starting to make real friends at kindy now thankfully.

#21 Feral Grey Mare

Posted 15 February 2013 - 11:33 PM

My sister had one when she was starting school. Her 'tending friend did all sorts of naughty things which my sister had to rectify.  'tending friend lasted for about six months and then disappeared once she was confident enough to face school without it.

#22 Jupiter123

Posted 16 February 2013 - 07:29 AM

DD has an imaginary kitten. She is grey and called kitty. Apparently she likes to sit in the shower, the window and likes car rides. Kitty can also be quite naughty lol.

I just play along with it.

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